Deadpan Snarker / Webcomics

The one on the right.

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• Adventurers! has one in each camp: Ardam for the heroes and Argent for the villains. Though Ardam is usually more "exasperated" than "deadpan".

• Stephie from Assigned Male almost always has a sardonic remark up her sleeve, especially when it comes to ignorant people and/or bigots.

• Roman and Cain from Beyond the End always have a snarky line to say.
  Upon entering Hell
  End: It's cold...
  Roman: I mean, it's definitely not warm.
  Cain catching up with Abel
  Abel: How much sex have you had exactly?
  Cain: I don't see you getting down in the grave.

• Nikos from Brave Resistance who snarks more often than he breathes.
• Alex Williams of Captain SNES: The Game Masta can be extremely sarcastic.

• Tony of Charby the Vampirate can be quite quick and blase with his sarcasm:
  *Yiska and Hex being Sickeningly Sweethearts*
  Mye: I saved ya some bacon since Menu drank the maple syrup again.
  Tony: Eh? Is no shortage of sap I's seeing heres…

• Gigi is this constantly in her author notes for Cucumber Quest.

• ...The Nightmare Knight...

NK: This is the queen.
Splashmaster: So?
NK: So, this isn't the princess. They're two different people. Surely even you can grasp this concept.
Splashmaster: But queen just older fatter princess!

• Debugging Destiny has Redshirt Guy and the Mysterious Voice, our resident snarkers. This is basically all they do when not trying to fix the broken universe simulator. Frequently overlaps with Dull Surprise.

• Susan in El Goonish Shive is one of the most sarcastic members of the cast.
  Ellen: Thanks! For a moment, I was really attracted to you.
  Susan: Truly, a Fate Worse than Death.

• Mel from Explorers of Souls is prone to lots and lots of sarcastic commentary. Her Establishing Character Moment is the utterance of "Oh, bloody hell." once she sees she has become a Pokemon.
• Plenty of snark in Exterminatus Now. Earliest example:
  Harold Eastwood: (on Virus smoking in his intro page) You mean it was a lame attempt to look badass.
  Syrus "The Virus" Zuviel: Did it work?
  Eastwood: No, you just looked like a regular ass.
  Virus: Ha. And indeed, ha. Don't quit your day job Harry.

• Fortuna has its fair share of straight men who don't hesitate to call out others on their antics. Most prominent examples include: Jayna, Apollo v3, pyramid-headed tegyps Adrax Fellown and Xorithe, and many others among mortals. When it comes to the first gen A.I.s (who are essentially the gods of this world), the most noticeable ones are Helios v1, Roman!Apollo v1 and Pales v1.
• Snarkers abound in Freakwatch, but few are as proficient at it as Jessica.
• Freefall: Mr Ishiguro tends to deal with frustration through verbal barbs, although he can be quite sincere when it comes to people he genuinely cares about, such as Clippy.
  Mr Ishiguro: It's eight in the morning. Have you slept?
  Mr Raibert: An hour or two. Anyhow, these robots are citizens now. We have to make their jobs as safe as we would for humans. I had to use direct orders. Robots consider production more important than their health.
  Mr Ishiguro: Yeah, I wonder where they get that from?
• It's fair to say that Girl Genius is another World of Snark.
  • Emperor Krosp takes advantage of the very many opportunities for snide sarcasm presented to him. Then again, he is a cat. It comes with the territory. And being sane.
  • Lately, Moloch von Zinzer has been getting in some good snarky lines as the exasperated Only Sane Man surrounded by Sparks and Jagers.
  • And airman 3rd class Axel Higgs acts pretty chill and unaffected by the insanity he finds himself in, but does respond with plenty of sarcasm.
  • What about our heroine Agatha?
  Agatha: (as she and Gil are plummeting) Oh, it's a falling machine. I'm so impressed.
  • Wooster gets in his digs, too. Though as he's British that comes with the territory.
  • Carson von Mekkhan seems to have calm sarcasm as his default setting.
  • Dr. Sun is infamous for his "sun-ny bedside manner."
  • Jenka has her moments, too.
• The girl Blacksmith from Godslave, as a way of dealing with her Hot-Blooded partner.
  The man: Don't try to stop me! *runs off to confront Edith.
  The girl (grinning): Oh, no. Don't.
  • Said partner doesn't stay far behind.
  The man: Tch-what's this blade made of?
  Edith: B*** deterrent.
  The man: Cute.
• Guilded Age: Gravedust, paradoxically. He's almost completely lacking in humor, so on the rare occasions when he does crack wise, he does it with such a straight face that it's hard to tell whether he's actually joking or not. Case in point.
• Antimony and Reynardine from Gunnerkrigg Court.
  Reynardine: Haha! Tired already, child?
  Antimony: Don't be so cocky. You don't have any lungs.
• Zombie of Hanna Is Not a Boy's Name is so deadpan that it can be hard to tell whether he's serious or not.

• Labor Day in Holiday Wars often delivers these types of lines. The first time he did so happened in episode 34.
• So, so, so many examples from Homestuck. Just within the main characters, Dave, Rose, and occasionally John all qualify, and beyond that, practically half the cast qualifies. There's a reason the verbal competition between Kanaya and Rose is measured by the "Flighty Broads and their Snarky Horseshit-o-Meter." And that said "Horseshit-o-Meter" explodes.
  It simply cannot take this much horseshit.

• Kadeen of Knights Errant gets an honorable mention for snarking while suffering from a massive chest wound.
• In Knights of Buena Vista, Dick is this, such as when Mary and Adriana are treating a horrible childhood event for their Player Characters with an Angst? What Angst? attitude.
• Zane the cat in Kurami, such as in this comic◊.
• Most of the cast of Lackadaisy indulges in some snark, but Zib almost exists to offer his sarcastic take on matters.

• Green in The Law of Purple occasionally pulls a Deadpan Snarker moment, as does his brother Blue.
• Rayne of Least I Could Do goes so far over the top with the Idiot Hero and Handsome Lech routines that most of the rest of the cast are divided into those who can use deadpan snarking to survive his bombastic ways (Issa and Noel), and those who turn into his punching bags (Jon and Mick). Noel is probably the best example.
• The Legend of Maxx is rife with these:
  • June the Dryad, who can watch a man get blown up by dynamite without even changing her expression.
  • Cyril the Wizard, who has acted as a foil for Idiot Hero Maxx since day one.
  "You know, it's a very rare occurrence, but every once in a while I get the bizarre impression that you don't listen to a word I say."
  • Aley the Fairy has a tendency to feel bad for him/herself, which is usually accompanied by some serious snark.
  "So I just flew in. No one paid me any attention. Ever."
  "It's not like I'm a person with real feelings or anything."
• Life (2012) has a couple examples:
  • Madison is generally more cynical than sardonic, but she can break out an ice-cold burn with a straight face when appropriate. (Context.) (And more context.)
  • "Video Game Guy" can break out the snark when it's needed. For example, when discussing Edward's theories about Felicia:
  VGG: You're being awful observant.
  Edward: I'm just sharp like that, I guess.
  VGG: Absolutely. It took you a month to notice one thing.
• Richard from Looking for Group.
  Richard: I'm no physician, but there appears to be a dagger in my chest.
• L's Empire has Indx, who snarks as a result of spending 1500 years in Limbo.
• Lovely Lovecraft: Both Howard and Phil, and they usually turn their wit on each other.
• Pato from M9 Girls!. She is usually the Only Sane Man of the group, which makes her fond of uttering snarky remarks about the other girls' decisions.
• The weighing scale from Maliki loves to poke fun at the title character for putting on weight.
  Scale: If the idea was to weigh a sumo team, it would have been easier to do it one by one.
• Toad in Mario & Luigi: Cleanup Crew is the one likeliest to backtalk, even to Princess Peach.
• The title character of Matchu, as well as a few of the other, less jaded characters.
• Jason in Multiplex. Funnily enough, he is often confused for an Author Avatar, which the author denies... to some extent.

• In Nightmare Factory, practically every character is this, particularly Kreyul and Phirre.
• While Artax tries it occasionally...
  Yeager: Contrary to... most of my dating history, not every woman who's interested in me is a flesh-craving abomination.
  Artax: Really? Have you been seeing someone we don't know about?

... Nodwick does it more or less nonstop.

Artax: She Who Must Not Be Named has taken That Which Man Was Not Meant To Know!
Nodwick: Did she say where She Who went?
Artax: To The Lands Which Know No Name!
Nodwick: Uh-huh... let me know if we find any proper nouns in all this mess.

• Lars from The Noordegraaf Files. His first four lines are pure unrefined sarcasm. Akila, when she's in the "Tsun" half of her Tsundere personality.
• In Oceanfalls, a few characters fit this description, but none more so than Reed. His very first line is sarcastically criticizing Aria for nearly getting killed by a spirit despite being an illusionist.
• The Order of the Stick is a World of Snark, so this may take some time...
  • Roy Greenhilt has his snarkiness being his primary character flaw — according to the beings of pure law and good that judge him in the afterlife, anyway. Since he is Lawful Good, that's a flaw.
    • Probably inherited from his father.
      Roy: Dad?? But... you and Mom are both dead...
      Dad: Yeah, funny thing about being a ghost, it has some harsh prerequisites.
  • Among the supporting roles, Vaarsuvius plays this role often. Being The Spock, V is certainly the most deadpan of all.
  • Belkar, post-fake Character Development.
    Crystal: Arrgh! You little twit, I'm gonna kill you!
    Belkar: Yeah, and I'm going to drop a house on you and sing about how I represent the Lollipop Guild. C'mon, let's keep our threats realistic, shall we?
  • On the evil side, this role is usually taken by Redcloak, who is often paired up with over-the-top cliched bad guy Xykon or the adorably naive Monster in the Darkness.
    Redcloak: I'm on my way to finish zombifying the monsters we killed up in the tower.
    MitD: Yeah, I can help with that.
    Redcloak: Really? So, I guess those three boxes of mallomars you finished off somehow earned you enough XP to gain 5 levels in cleric overnight.
    MitD: Well, they were especially chewy....
    Redcloak: Then unless you are volunteering your services as raw materials, I don't think you are going to be much help.
  • Half of the named characters get a crowning moment of snark or two, and some unnamed. Bonus points to Spoony Bard Elan, who's not particularly bright most of the time, doubles as his Moment of Awesome when he pulls a What the Hell, Hero? moment on Vaarsuvius when they killed a minor villain purely because they were impatient that the plot wasn't moving fast enough for their taste.
  Vaarsuvius: Your swift progress with illusions is overshadowed only by your long-overdue grasp of the basics of sarcasm.
  • The Demon-Roaches are also full Snarky Non-Human Sidekicks.

• Ozy of Ozy and Millie, being The Stoic, manages to be so deadpan that his targets often don't even realize he's being snarky. A prominent case of this came when Avery declared himself to be a "bad boy".
• Max in Paranatural has a snarky streak a mile wide. He actually has trouble turning it off, and sometimes has to apologise because he said something snide that he didn't quite intend.
  In a bar that trades in Starchman Stars
  Lisa: Would you like to open a tab?
  Max: Sure, I'm feeling fatalistic.
  Lisa: (opens a can of Tab) That's two stars.
  Max: So's this place, am I right?

• The Petri Dish has Bob the cyborg who seems to think it's his responsibility to be witty.
• Pixie and Brutus: Brutus sometimes has to resort to snark, at least internally, whenever Pixie isn't understanding what he's trying to explain to her.
• The On-Cue Ball from Precocious is an oracle! ...Or, very possibly, prerecorded snark.
  "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying atten—I MEAN REPLY HAZY, TRY AGAIN!"

• Faye (and others) in Questionable Content. Early in the comic's run, Faye and Martin got their new apartment because the landlady liked their snarkiness.
• In Rascals, Amanda towards Chrissy due to their history, as evident on this page.
• Nancy in Rhapsodies.
• Mr. Snippy in Romantically Apocalyptic.
  Captain: (in front of a computer with a destroyed monitor) Hello computer... I'd like one free internet please. Maybe if I twiddle these wires...
  Mr. Snippy: You are an idiot.
  Captain: What? No... Why?
  Mr. Snippy: (holding up a cell phone with a destroyed screen) To illustrate, I shall take a photo of your epic failure with my phone.
• In RPG World, every member of the main cast gets a turn at deadpan snarking, even the dim-witted Hero. Cherry, Eikre, and Reka are the most frequent offenders.
• Most of the main cast of Rumors of War, and a good chunk of the periphery characters are snarky — possibly to the point of creating a veritable World of Snark.

• Quinn from Shotgun Shuffle is a particularly caustic one.
  Quinn: Do you speak English? 'Cause I don't speak retard.
• Art from Sequential Art is like this whenever he isn't busy being a Manchild.
  Art: If I come back to find you minus a head, I'm not going to cry.
• Sleipnir: Equine Invader from Jupiter:
  • Clint's sister Jess is introduced teasing him for coming back to the family ranch when he swore he'd never do so, and levels an unamused stare when she learns his reason for being on forced vacation is throwing a coffee cup at an intern.
  • When General Kincaid says that Clint reminds him of himself when he was younger, his lieutenant, Jimenez, snarks that for a moment he thought there were two of him.
• Rhea from Slightly Damned is snark with a tail.

• Stand Still, Stay Silent:
  • Mikkel tends to be this, if he's not outright being The Gadfly. He'll do things such as explaining to Reynir that the bruise he got from a Plague Zombie will not make him catch The Plague because it didn't actually break the skin, unless he happens to have licked the the bruised arm right after it happened. He then actually makes sure Reynir didn't lick his arm just to be safe, despite the fact that due to The Plague being partially airborne, Reynir has been wearing a mask protecting his nose and mouth since before he got bruised and hasn't taken it off yet.
  • In the prologue, Mikkel's great-grandmother knows how to deal with a passenger demanding an entire ferry to go against newly implemented travel restrictions so he can get to a work meeting on time:
  Signe: Oh no, an important meeting? I'll call the captain right away on our direct emergency line! [picks up imaginary phone] Hello Captain! Oh yes I'm fine, how are you? So hey, I have a passenger here who would like you to turn back to Ystad...Oh? Oh dear, how unfortunate. I'm sure he'll understand, he seems like a reasonable man. [mimes hanging up] I'm sorry, another passenger already asked to be taken to the Bahamas, so we're heading there now. But you're next in line with your request!

• Ruby, in Sticky Dilly Buns, has a bumpy start as a snarker, being too neurotic to manage the deadpan well and living in a fairly snark-light comic. However, by this strip it seems that she's beginning to develop the skill. The male disguise may help her relax enough, but mostly it's the golden opportunities that she's offered; the comic may turn out to be about the creation of a competent snarker.
• Vask of Sunbird is a small, snarky telepathic bird.

• Liam from Tripping Over You.
  While browsing vinyls in a music store:
  Milo: So, you're big into music, hm?
  Liam: Nope. I just come here for the books on vinyl.
• Bert and Darby from TRU-Life Adventures are the most consistently snarky among the toy store staff, but almost everyone working there gets a moment. It must be a survival technique for dealing with the customers.
• Gracelis in Trying Human.
  Quazky: The master love machine has taken him (Hue) under his wing!
  Gracelis: You mean EBE1? (blows smoke in Quazky's face while maintaining a completely serious expression)
  Quazky: NO! ME!

• Dewey from Unshelved.
  Mell: People don't like it when you're right all the time.
  Dewey: If being right is wrong, I don't want to be right. Nah, I still want to be right.
• Aeris, the pink female cat from VG Cats, provides the page pic. Pantsman is snarky as well, but to a lesser extent.
• In Violet Zombie, the protagonist Penelopa Mortinez is described in her promo as "sassy, but never salty". Being a teenage zombie probably has something to do with this.
• A number of characters in We Are The Wyrecats have a dry sense of humor, particularly K.A.'s father.
• Shelly's conscience from Wapsi Square is just as sarcastic as it is creepy.

• The Word Weary features a character named Yorick who has yet to have a line that ISN'T dead snarky.
• Jason Grey in The Wotch (and Sonja as well).
  Jason: Anne, even your personified sarcasm is no match for me. I've been constanty sarcastic for 15 years.
• Father Yiannis from Without Moonlight snarks about God and forgiveness a lot.
• Zebra Girl:
  • Sandra is quite snarky. This trait becomes exacerbated when she becomes evil.
  • Viv, in spades, though her snark is more of the friendly kind.

• In Zokusho Comics, Max's reaction to having his leg blown off by a suit case bomb? Snark..

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