One Thousand Ways To Die / Tropes E to K

1000 Ways to Die tropes index
A to D (Ass Shove, Bait-and-Switch, Deadly Gas, Distracted by the Sexy, Drugs Are Bad) | E to K (Fan Disservice, High-Voltage Death, Hoist by His Own Petard, Karma Houdini) | L to S (Stuff Blowing Up) | T to Z (Tap on the Head, Too Dumb to Live)

E

• Ear Ache: "Info-Pain-Ment" had an aggro exercise equipment salesman die from getting stabbed in the ear with a big piece of bamboo.
• Early-Installment Weirdness: The first season.
  • The two pilot episodes had a much different presentation, and the narrator was series creator Thom Beers rather than Ron Perlman.
  • There was a different theme for the death card at the end of each segment. Although, the death card theme from season 2 can be heard in "Re-formed".
• Eaten Alive:
  • "Fur Burger": A 2nd Century tribe sentences a man to this for angering the leaders, by wrapping him in the skin of a freshly killed animal, tying him to a tree and leaving him to be devoured by whatever carnivores roamed around, in this case, a flock of vultures.
  • In "Vermin-ated": A thief becomes stuck in a pipe while on the run from the cops and a swarm of rats eat their way through his brain.
  • "Catch and Decease": A man who abuses his Portuguese workers gets eaten by piranhas after he bleeds out getting a candiru out of his manhood. Later, his skeleton is seen flowing down the river.
  • "Pulled Pork": A crooked farmer suffers this fate at the hooves of another farmer's prize boar after he tries to steal said boar's sperm.
  • "Found D-Eat": A woman wades into a pond at the command of her church leader so she can meet and befriend "brother alligator". Said alligator instead views her as a snack and devours her.
  • "African't": A spoiled rich duo try to brave the African Savannah on their own against the advice of their guide. They rest under a tree and an army of driver ants eats the man from the inside out while he's passed out. The woman was only spared because her perfume contained a compound that repels insects.
• Edible Ammunition: In "Fatally Gourd," a group of rednecks drank their asses off while pumpkin chunking with a homemade cannon that launched them so fast they could obliterate anything in its way. As they get lucky it didn't explode in their faces, a pumpkin thief enters the property only to get in the way of one of the flying pumpkins, causing its stem to lodge into his heart and killing him.
• Edutainment Show: Despite the low-brow concept, you can actually learn a thing or two from this show whether it be medical like refeeding syndrome or historical like the story of the Radium Girls
• Ejection Seat: In "Chairway to Heaven", a deadbeat, selfish dad purchases one as furniture for him and his fat loser friend's new guy pad. Unbeknownst to him, the seat still had a live ejector rocket in it and when he pulled the ejection handle, he was sent flying through the roof and his skull was crushed.
• Electrified Bathtub:
  • In "Who Ded?", two female thieves enter a flooded basement in search of things to steal. Unbeknownst to them, there's a severed power line in the water, and they immediately get fried when they step into it.
  • "Mail Order Fried" has a mailman taking a second job as a dunk tank target die when dunked into the water, as a wire from the fuse box fell into the water and electrified it due to the fuse box getting damaged from all the missing balls hitting it.
• Elegant Classical Musician: A case features a beautiful and talented violinist who doubles as The Klutz. She dies when she falls down her house's stairs and hits her head on the wall for not using her hands to block her fall (as she didn't want to damage them, being a violinist).
• Energy Weapon:
  • "Fiddle-Licked": A CIA operative disguised as a violinist for a fancy restaurant melts a terrorist's brain with an experimental laser rifle while he was dining there.
  • "Sun Burnt": A sociopathic geek creates a death ray by covering a parabolic dish with tin foil. After experimenting on his death ray and attempting to heat a can of beans, it explodes, knocks the geek out and he lands forward into the path of his death ray, which burns his skull and cooks his brain.
• Epic Fail: Special mention goes to the terrorists who blew themselves up.
• Epileptic Flashing Lights: A stripper who likes to pickpocket her customers has a grand mal seizure (though she dies when she bites her tongue off and chokes on it) while cage-dancing in "Leave It To Seizure" thanks to strobe lights flashing above her.
• Even Evil Has Standards:
  • In "Vat's All Folks," two ex-cons are hired to help a crooked cemetery boss get rid of some bodies and resell the burial plots. Once they realize the bodies would be dissolved in hydrofluoric acid, the ex-cons refuse to go along with the plan and leave.
  • In "S**t-Canned", a waiter at a wedding party is bribed by a Crazy Jealous Guy into slipping laxatives in the bride's drink as revenge for her not marrying him. The waiter accepts the money but puts the laxatives in the jealous guy's drink instead after having a pang of conscience.
  • In "Cock A Doodle Die" the crowd there loved watching roosters beat each other to death, but if someone cheated they would not hesitate to kill the bastard.
• Everyone Hates Mimes: As demonstrated in the segment "Dead Mime ☺", in which the only time people paid attention to him was in his final hours as he was gagging on a pickle he had for lunch.
• Everything's Messier with Pigs: "Pulled Pork" involves a prize boar approaching an unconscious man who tried to steal his semen, and then eats the man alive in retaliation.
• Everything Sounds Sexier in French: Invoked by the victim from "Art Attack", who fakes being a French artist who goes by the name "Monsieur Amnesia" to attract women and get them into the sack. Needless to say, he succeeds until his latest conquest sees through his facade and leaves, driving the bastard to hit the "sculpture" with which he tried to seduce her only to find out too late it was a "butterfly bomb".
• Evil Poacher: Mr Chao, who walks through parks looking for animals to capture and smuggle, dies when an eagle drops a tortoise onto his skull, similar to the legend of the death of Aeschylus.
• Evil Redhead: Alexis from "Sky Scraped", a Morally Bankrupt Banker.
• Exact Words: In "Kill Bill & Billie", a man suspecting his wife of adultery calls and hires a hitman to tail her and kill her if he finds her with another man, along with the other man. The hit was arranged over the phone, so there was no way for the assassin to know the man he would kill was his client when he ordered a prostitute, who turned out to be his wife.
• Explosive Decompression:
  • Although the writers confused this trope with a fatal case of the bends, "Tanked Girl" is an example. That episode's death might have been based on the Byford-Dolphin Diving Bell Incident, even though the actual circumstances were absolutely nothing like what we see on the show (and was changed for budgetary reasons)
  • "Steward-Death" is based on the 1988 Aloha Flight 243 incident.
• Explosive Leash: A bank robber tries to use one on himself to make it seem like he's been coerced into doing the crime by someone else. It doesn't end well.
• Explosive Stupidity: When it comes to handling explosive devices and/or volatile substances, there's very little margin for error. Being careless while doing so is a surefire way to lose your life.
• Expy: The following are "alternate universe" stories showing jerkass celebrities based on real celebrities who (so far) haven't gotten any karmic retribution for the heinous acts they've committed.
  • In "Bad Max" (#873), Max represents Mel Gibson (this alternate death, however, was justified, as a six-year-old girl was really the victim of having her intestines sucked out through her anus while in a Jacuzzi. Even the narrator stated that the death did happen in real life, but the victim was not the Mel Gibson expy named Max)
  • In "Apocalypse Harley" (#445), Harley represents Charlie Sheen. The "Hollywood Hitman" from the same episode is clearly based on Colonel Kurtz.
  • On the other hand, Hiro Tanaka, the dude that "Pukey" Suki tried to get to puke on her (with fatal results) is an obvious expy of Big Eater Takeru Kobayashi. In this case, though, she is the one who dies.
  • In "Jersey Gore" (#523), Nicky "The Predicament" is an obvious spoof of Michael "The Situation" Sorrentino.
  • In "Chess Pain", the match between Soviet chess master Nikolai and a supercomputer was most likely taken from the one featuring Garry Kasparov and Deep Blue
  • The guys from the J-Rock band in "Coffin to Death" look like a mix between X Japan and Z-Kill.
• Eye Scream:
  • "Dead Eye": An arrogant gym teacher throws a javelin and ends up getting it through his eye.
  • "Vermin-ated": A fugitive stuck in a pipe whose eye is eaten alive by rats.
  • "Succu-Offed": Two stoners stole a Saguaro cactus and celebrate with peyote in the desert. They later get a shared hallucination where the Saguaro tells them they will be punished for their crime. They run screaming as one stoner falls on an Agave plant and is pierced through the heart while the other stoner runs into another Saguaro cactus and gets speared in the eye.
  • "Samurai Death Squad": A Japanese-American street racer gets a lance through his eye and out the back of his head in a joust.
  • "Contact Die": A chemistry student determined to screw her way to an easy grade by seducing the class genius has her contacts fused to her eyeballs after performing an experiment without wearing goggles. She then spends the last few minutes of her life running around in blind panic before slipping on waxed floor and breaking her neck.
  • "Scam Eye Am (Dead)": A Nigerian scam artist gets found out and hides behind a door with a coat hook on it. Enter the angry scam victim, who shoves open the door and accidentally(?) impales the man in the eye.
  • "Eye-Sick-Kill": A lecherous stoner mall Santa who got fired for sexually harassing his female elf workers gets an icicle to the eye.
  • "Exploding Bowling Ball": Four drunk hipsters film themselves dropping things off a bridge with a high-speed camera. Works well enough until the bowling ball shatters, and a shard of the ball goes through the cameraman's eye into his brain, piercing the medulla oblongata and terminating organ control.
  • "Photo-Dead-Ick": An anorexic, cocaine-addicted model passes out during a photoshoot from not eating and wearing latex Body Paint (which kept her from sweating). As she falls, the model impales herself through the eye on a lighting post.
  • "Eye So Horny": two brothers get drunk on their own moonshine and play matador. One brother trips and gets antlered in the eye and brain by a stuffed deer head.
  • Ring a Ding Dead: A hipster goes to a garage sale early to get the good stuff. While there, he tries to steal a ring (An heirloom that the garage sale man has been looking for). During a fight to get it back, a secret is learned about the ring: it was a loaded ring gun and one of them accidentally sets the ring off into the hipster's eye, with the small bullet bouncing inside his skull and killing him.
  • "Dis Still Killed 'Em": A pair of moonshiners (Jeb and Mabel) attempt to make their own alcohol in the radiator of their truck, but make the mistake of sampling the "foreshot" - which is essentially straight ethanol. Before it kills them, it wrecks their eyes.
    Jeb: "I'VE GONE BLIND, MABEL! I'M BLIND!"

F

• Face Death with Dignity: A rarity for this show, but not unheard of.
• Failed a Spot Check: The criminal from "Greased Is The Word," who was planning to rob a jewelry store and failed to notice he went through the wrong door... the door to a gun shop.
• Fake Faith Healer: Perry, the victim from "Cruci-fried" is a phony faith healing minister who scammed churchgoers by using paid actors for his "miracles". He dies when holding the mic (whose ground plug he removed because of an annoying hum) while stepping on the water in a metal baptism tub.
• Fanservice:
  • Every episode manages to get at least one woman in her underwear, a bikini, or some other skimpy clothing. Justified that this show airs on Spike TV (a channel dedicated to "men's entertainment"), so Fanservice is pretty par for the course.
  • Lampshaded in "Pipe Snaked" (the story of the bitchy groupie who threw out her wannabe rocker boyfriend, almost got strangled by his pet boa constrictor, then suffocated in her home from carbon monoxide poisoning after the boa took shelter in the exhaust) when the narrator points out that the groupie seemed to live in her underwear.
• Fanservice with a Smile: "Tipping Point" centers around two rival waitresses working at a falling Hooters-style bar named Pink Peaks. When a football team enters the bar, the waitresses bicker and fight over who gets to serve them, ending in one of them falling on the pointy end of a receipt holder spearing her on her left breast and puncturing her heart, killing her once she pulled it out.
• Farts on Fire:
  • "Work of Fart": A college student training for a fraternity farting contest accidentally sets his own coach on fire by letting one rip near an open flame.
  • "Gas Hole": A proctologist using a cauterizer (a device that uses heat to seal or open wounds without drawing blood) has his lungs burned when the patient accidentally lets one out.
• Fat Bastard:
  • "Gut Busted": A fat man dies from his ulcerous stomach ripping open after he asked his girlfriend to alleviate his constant burping by punching him in the stomach.
  • "Death of Sum Young Guy": Another one has a heart attack caused by the MSG in ten(!) plates of Chinese food he ordered. Although a real-life MSG overdose would at worst make you mildly ill, and even ten plates likely wouldn't be close to OD levels assuming there was even MSG in the food to begin with - considering restaurants now avoid it due to its (completely unevidenced) negative reputation.
  • "Fat-ality": One tries to stop being a Fat Bastard by way of do-it-yourself liposuction. His friend, who did the lipo, ended up accidentally sucking his intestines and killing him.
  • "Dead Fixe": A food critic dies after swallowing a plastic toothpick from a martini, which lodges itself in his stomach lining and was both fat and a complete bastard (especially since his scathing reviews led to many restaurants shutting down).
  • "Lazy Bumday": The phony Gulf War veteran was fat, a bastard for tricking people into thinking he was hurt in combat and died of a poor diet, no exercise, and having maggots eat at his infected bedsores.
  • The narcissistic owner of a theatre company in "Macdeath" who takes the lead role in his own play is put on a harness held by pulleys. The wire breaks due to him being too heavy for it to support him, hanging him upside down and slashing his jugular as it went.
  • "Mastur-Bitten": The fat guy who pretended to be a hotel health inspector was a perverted bastard who masturbated in the hotel rooms he "inspected" and made it look like the hotel's fault to get a free room and/or money. However, the latest hotel he visited was infested with Arizona bark scorpions. One of them stings him, injecting neurotoxin that shuts down his autonomic nervous system, killing him in seconds.
• Fingore:
  • "Bot-ily Harm": A Teen Genius who used his robotic inventions to annoy his mom makes a robot with motion sensors by installing her Roomba's microprocessor into it. His bladed robot started up when the boy dropped a screw and picked it up. The robot went into attack mode and sliced off his fingers, cut his leg, and eventually went for his stomach.
  • "USSR-Dead": A prospective Russian mobster gets his fingertips burned with sulfuric acid by his fellow Mafia members to erase his fingerprints and declare him a new member. (As for the death itself, see Gargle Blaster)
  • "Kara-chokey": A Yakuza leader cuts the finger off an incompetent karaoke singer, then swallows it whole as a sign of spite. However, the boss chokes on it and dies when his bodyguard improperly gives him the Heimlich maneuver.
• Firing in the Air a Lot: A woman who just married a Taliban leader in "Ji-Had It Coming" does this to celebrate her wedding. But she loses control of her gun, and one of the bullets bounces off a metal pitcher and hits her in the head.
• Flatline: Used in a few deaths whenever the victim is in a hospital bed, such as the one about the Russian spy who was poisoned with a polonium isotope as punishment for defecting or the showgirl who suffered from a flesh-eating virus after cutting herself with a rusty razor.
• Foregone Conclusion: The opening makes it quite clear: people are gonna get snuffed.
• Foreign Queasine: The Boyfriend-Blocking Dad in "Tenta-killed" exploits this, trying to drive away his daughter's suitor with some traditional Korean cuisine: live seafood.
• Found Footage Films: "Weed Whacked" is shown entirely through recovered footage that two stoners recorded of their attempt to get high after running out of weed. They start smoking any random plant they find in the desert until they take a hit of the wrong green.
• From Bad to Worse: Some victims were in benign or simple situations that were beyond their control. One guy was a Japanese guy meeting a prospective employer who hit his head while bowing, accidentally rupturing a brain aneurysm that killed him.

G

• Gag Penis: In "Wedding Crasher" the drunk victim strips naked at his ex-girlfriend's wedding to a rich old man. The Narrator remarked that the bride chose the old man's bill wad over the victim's big "wad".
• Gang Initiation Fight: An actor joins a gang in order to help him get into character for a part, and has to endure the No-Holds-Barred Beatdown version of this trope.
• Gargle Blaster: "USSR-Dead": A Ukrainian immigrant joining the Russian Mafia accidentally drinks sulfuric acid (the same acid that was used to burn his fingerprints so no one could link him to any crimes) while celebrating his initiation. So do the other members of the Mafiya cell. All of them die as their innards dissolve.
• Gasshole:
  • "Gut Busted": An obese belching man named Dave in due to his stomach breaking down from peptic ulcers, which disgusted his girlfriend while on a date. He asks her to punch him in the gut to cure his belching, which she obliges. This caused Dave's stomach to rupture and spill its contents all over his body cavity, killing him.
  • "Gasshole": Aside from using the trope's name, this death has a fugitive on the run drinking gasoline since he's miles from a liquor store/bar and doesn't want to get caught by authorities, but ends up puking it into his bonfire and burns to death.
  • "Gas Holed": A surgeon with a butt fetish operates on a stripper who ate a chili dog prior to her rectal operation (because the doctor failed to tell her that rectal operation patients can't eat anything 12 hours prior to said operation) and whose fart sets fire to his cauterizer, which burns his lungs completely.
  • "Suck & Blown": The narrator dubs the two guys who tried to suck gasoline out of a car with an industrial vacuum only for a spark to ignite the gasoline and blow them up as two examples of this.
  • "Who Fart-Dead?": A snobby, rich sorority pledge ate a bunch of beans and broccoli before a sauna contest, to drive the other pledges out with her severe flatulence. She does win at the end... at the cost of her life, the increasingly hot sauna caused her to die from dehydration, hyperthermia, and second-and third-degree burns all over her body.
  • "Namas-dead": A Jerkass yoga teacher named Betty farted on purpose to bully her students during lessons, even doing it directly on their faces if they objected. When they understandably leave packing, she tries to get them to stay by doing another posture but ends up tumbling down the stairs and landing into the meditation pool, causing her to drown and die in minutes.
• Getting High on Their Own Supply:
  • "Ass-Hoppered": A pair of aspiring weed dealers sample their merchandise before they can even sell it, and both get the munchies as a result. One of them, named Eugene, cooks and eats some grasshoppers, which unbeknownst to him triggers an allergic reaction to the bugs' exoskeletons. He dies of asphyxiation from anaphylactic shock swelling up his throat.
  • "Glow Job": A predatory drug dealer named Rush attended rave parties to sell his stash. However, he grows bored as his business starts to fail and decides to take hits of his ecstasy. In his drug-impaired judgment, Rush goes to a kiddie pool filled with glowstick fluid to inject it into his veins. As a result, the phenol in the fluid shuts down his nervous system and kills him.
• Gold Digger:
  • In 'Rhymes with "Rich"', a gold-digging personal trainer tries to get into the pants of a married businessman, but ends up accidentally breaking her neck while trying a clean-and-jerk weightlifting exercise.
  • In "Booty Trapped", a gold-digger ends up meeting her fate when an earthquake makes the money bags in her personal vault she kept out of her old rich husband's reach to fall on top of her, killing her by asphyxiation.
• Go Out With A Bang: Many people die experiencing an orgasm with a satisfied smile.
  • "Ass Phyxiated": The chubby-chasing weight-loss salesman who dies after having sex with a fat woman.
  • "Ichiboned": The Japanese couple who die after having simultaneous orgasms/heart attacks.
  • "Coming & Going": The woman who got off while riding her boyfriend's motorcycle — and ended up tumbling onto the road.
  • "Die-Agra": A man overdosed on Viagra due to taking some after his wife and mistress independently slip the pills into his dinner and beer without his knowledge and dies during an orgasm as a result.
  • "Erecto-Phobia": A man dies from a heart attack during sex due to the venom of a wandering spider that bit him earlier.
• Gorn: When it's described what happened, and it got gorier each season. To put it in a nutshell, this is an incredibly gruesome and gory TV series, and definitely one of the most violent ever made, going on par with the likes of American Horror Story and Hannibal.
• Gory Discretion Shot: The reenactments for the most part, although indiscretion seems to be more common, and we now see actual decapitations, eviscerations, and so forth.
• Granola Girl: The victim from "Road Killed", a hippie chick named Sally aka Morning Glory, who runs over a raccoon going while driving to a hemp convention and tries to use CPR on it. Tilting her head up to cough, she has her head ripped off by the bumper of an oncoming vehicle.
• Gratuitous Italian: In "That's A Morte!", the narrator pronounces the Italian word grilletto with a /j/ sound, as if it were Spanish.
• Green-Eyed Monster: Pamela is this in "Pam Caked" towards Amber when she becomes popular with the cheerleading squad. This eventually leads to her demise.
• Grievous Bottley Harm: Deconstructed in "Wanted Instead", where the victim breaks a bottle to intimidate a woman's boyfriend for getting in the way of trying to make out with her, and predictably gets his hand cut with the glass shards. He dies when a shard is deeply embedded in his hand and causes internal bleeding.
• Groin Attack:
  • The zoophilic Russian soldier who tries to rape a raccoon after getting cockblocked by a fellow soldier. The raccoon bit off the private's privates.
  • The guy who whizzed on the electric fence—with obvious (and unlikely) consequences.
  • Implied in "Tree Mugger", where a grizzly bear is stated to have "ground down on" the victim's "root" while mauling him to death.
  • The heretic priest named Father Gomez got his groin split in two on his own invention during the Spanish Inquisition as punishment for building the device in the first place, though this is more Karmic Death...he DID build the device, but he was accused of being a heretic and thus was the first victim...Hoist by His Own Petard.
  • The lesbian Straw Feminist in "Die-brator" inadvertently gives one to herself after she mistakes the taser her girlfriend sent to her as a gift for a vibrator.
  • The Portuguese man treating Brazilians like slaves and forcing them to pan for gold. While swimming in the Amazon River, he stops to urinate and gets a candiru fish lodged into his urethra. As if that wasn't disturbing enough, he rips the still lodged candiru out (and therefore, the inside of his penis), spilling out blood that attracts a school of piranhas that eat him alive.
  • "Hertz So Good": A man with a "Prince Albert" penis piercing dies from being shocked by an old electrical transformer. The episode has a shot of him lying on the ground, smoke curling around his crotch.
  • "Mary Lou Rectum": The bitter gymnast who dismounted off a trampoline — and lands on top of one of the supports for the parallel bars. The force was enough to rip her rectum and vaginal opening and cause fatal damage. Doubles as Impaled with Extreme Prejudice.
  • "Ball Sacked": Exaggerated with the abusive football coach who died of sepsis after the star kicker of his team kicks him in the crotch — with cleats that have lead insets in them (the force of which sent a bone fragment into his kidneys). Usually, when men get kicked in the groin, they wish they were dead. In this case, there was no wishing. Or there was and it got granted.

H

• Half the Man He Used to Be:
  • "Semi-cide": A man working under his truck is run over and cut in half by another truck driver who didn't see him. Much to the poor guy's dismay, both halves were sent to a different hospital each and he died despite the hospital's best attempts to save him.
  • "Forked Up": A pothead who went on a joyride got bisected by some rope tied to his waist.
  • "D-Parted": One of the construction workers with which a seductive, recently-divorced housewife flirts was so enraptured by her looks he couldn't pay attention to his concrete saw, which shot out towards the woman and sliced her in half.
  • "Half-Offed": A Jerkass businessman cuts the line for a taxi, only to get cut in half by a steel cable from a passing truck that gets caught in the taxi's trunk lid.
  • "Ex'D Ex": A jealous ex tries to wreck his ex-girlfriend's date, only for said date to shove him off the hayride, and then he ends up run over by the vehicle.
  • "Blast Call": A demolition worker who runs out of money for booze at a bar uses his beer belly as a dartboard for the other customers in exchange for free drinks. Eventually, he gets so drunk he falls on his back and activates a dynamite charge he had in his back pocket, which explodes and splits him in half since his body contained the explosion.
• Happily Married: The Japanese couple in "Ichi-Boned", but they've never decided to consummate their marriage because the two of them are too nervous about the act! One night, they finally decide to throw caution to the wind, and both Go Out With A Bang smiling after suffering simultaneous heart attacks.
• Happy-Ending Massage: The victim in "Crappy Ending" enters a massage parlor of this sort but is unable to remain aroused because of a strange buzzing sound. The frustrated masseuse decides to check it out, removes an electrical outlet where the sound came from, and runs off in fear upon seeing an Asian giant hornet flying out. When it stings the client and he swats it out in response, the dead hornet's pheromones alert the rest of the swarm into stinging him. The man dies from the massive poison injection in minutes.
• Hate Sink: Many of the show's characters are morally bankrupt, like con artists, petty thieves, and gangsters, but then there's Max, a successful movie star who yells at everyone around him, is a flat-out racist, and tries to coerce oral sex from his girlfriend before he has his insides sucked out of him through his ass by a Jacuzzi's water intake.
• Have a Nice Death: The show can be called a tribute to the trope.
• Head Smashes Screen: One of the victims is an anger management attendee who drunkenly dives headfirst into a large screen TV, killing him from a combination of a broken neck, electrocution, and bleeding.
• Henpecked Husband: The shrewish wife of one of these gets killed in a lawnmower accident.
  Ron: There is a God.
• High-Pressure Blood:
  • If a blood vessel is severed, there's a good chance it's going to spray blood like a fountain. If it's the jugular vein or carotid artery, this is a certainty.
  • Justified in the story of the coke dealer from the 1970s who died when he tripped on his platforms and got stabbed in the jugular with his male symbol (the spearheaded circle) necklace. He bled faster than normal because the cocaine and high-energy disco dancing made his heart beat faster.
• Hillbilly Moonshiner:
  • "Eye So Horny": One of these ends up accidentally stabbing himself through the eye and brain with an antler while playing bullfighter with his scaredy younger brother in a harebrained attempt of making a man out of him.
  • "'Dis Still Killed 'Em": A Depression-era hillbilly couple tries their hand at this, but they make the mistake of sampling the initial runoff (foreshots), which ends up blinding them and shutting down their organs.
• Hold My Glasses: In "Wrin-killed", an old woman facing off against a mugger hands her purse to a bystander before delivering a beatdown against the thug.
• Hollywood Blanks: Averted: an abusive father tries to scare off his daughter's boyfriend by "shooting" him when he catches them together in her room. After traumatizing his daughter and her boyfriend, he mocks them by admitting that the bullets were blanks and attempts to demonstrate by putting the gun to his own head and pulling the trigger. The burst of air from the blank cracks his skull, sending fragments into his brain and killing him on the spot.
• Hollywood History:
  • The Inquisition example is pure fiction, though it was probably inspired by the death of Perillos of Athens.
  • The story of Perillos was eventually shown as a segment titled "My Big Fat Greek Death." though it is inaccurate, as the real legend states that Phalaris pulled Perillos out of the bull before he could die...and then threw him off a cliff to his death. Phalaris himself was executed inside the bull after being overthrown.
• Honey Trap: The victim in "Sneeze-bag" is a beautiful woman who works as a spy for a political party, drugging up her boss's biggest rival and then calling the presses to ruin his reputation. It turns out she has the ACHOO syndrome, which is triggered by the camera flashes... and causes her to sneeze uncontrollably, leading to her death from burst blood vessels.
• Horny Vikings:
  • "Vike-O-Done" is a loose adaptation of the death of Sigurd Eysteinsson, said to have succumbed to a fatal infection after riding with a rival's severed head tied to his saddle and the teeth scratching against his leg. The series has the fictional Viking (complete with a horned helmet) dying not from riding but from hitting himself while spinning the head like an Epic Flail.
  • "Back Stabbed" features a figurative one in the form of King Nygard's younger brother Mort, whom the former left the kingdom while he went on a marauding campaign. After that, Mort abuses his newfound power to indulge in his excesses and rape his brother's wife when she tried to keep him in check. When Nygard finally returns and finds out, he executes Mort by performing the "Blood Eagle" which consists of slicing the victim's back and then pulling their lungs from out the wounds. As a result, Mort's lungs shrivel up and he suffocates to death.
• Hostile Hitchhiker: "Hi-Jack Offed" features a hijacker who lures his victims by pretending to be a hitchhiker.
• Human Pincushion: Leanne, the victim in "Phone Boned," goes to an acupuncture clinic to treat her phone addiction. When her phone rang while she was treated, she tried to reach for it only to fall face down, with the needle in her chest puncturing her heart and killing her instantly.
• Humiliation Conga: "Blown Job" in which a female employee refuses to give her boss, Mr. Elliott, (who is sexist and bisexual; to the latter of which she was oblivious) a blow job to get the promotion she's aiming for (despite tolerating his other acts of sexual harassment), and decides to fill up on tons of energy drinks to take her mind off the dirty thought. A recently-hired employee tries to get the promotion, by doing the same thing, and succeeds, much to her anger, fueled by her energy drinks, which have caffeine in them. She confronts Mr. Elliott and screams at him for being a sexist scumbag — until she dies of cardiac arrest from the excess caffeine.
  • The corrupt politician from "Scratch 'n' Snuffed". After being voted out of office, his Brazilian mistress sold his shady dealings to the press. After his wife found out, she slapped him and left him, leaving him dry and broken. Finally, he drops dead from Chagas Disease (see Kiss of Death).
• Hurricane of Puns: A lot of the titles of the deaths, most of which try to work the word "dead" or "death" in it (some of which are better than others).
• Hypocrite:
  • "Kill Bill & Billie" has a married couple. The husband and wife are both outraged at the thought that their spouse would cheat on them. The husband even goes so far as to hire a hitman to follow his wife and — if he sees her with a man — kill them both. This, however, doesn't stop the husband from hiring hookers behind his wife's back, or the wife from working as a hooker behind her husband's back. Eventually, the husband unknowingly hires his wife, and the results are predictable.
  • "Bull-Heavia" features a Middle Eastern dictator who frequently makes speeches denouncing the United States. In private, however, he's obsessed with American culture.

I

• I Just Shot Marvin in the Face:
  • "Abracadaver": A magician and his lovely assistant fail to do the "catch a bullet in your teeth" act, as the magician accidentally puts a piece of his magic wand into his assistant's gun, thus getting shot in the process.
  • "Written Offed": A Jerkass banker uses a pen gun while trying to foreclose on a military antique store dealer for not paying his mortgage. It goes off on his head and kills the bastard instantly.
  • "Smoked": A teen smoker puts three cigarettes in a shotgun shell, loads it in a shotgun, and shoots his friend in the face to teach his friend a lesson in bumming cigarettes and not paying him back.
  • "Dead-dy Dearest": A Boyfriend-Blocking Dad scares his daughter's boyfriend by firing a blank revolver, then attempts to shoot himself in the head to prove that the gun doesn't have real bullets in it. The guy died from the pressure of the blast traveling down the barrel of the revolver and cracking him in the temple.
  • "Cop Out": A bad cop huffs paint thinner and starts waving his pistol around at some community service workers. He drops the pistol but picks it up by the trigger, and shoots himself in the head.
• I Love the Dead: The victim in "Coffin Nailed" is a morgue worker who has a fetish for women's corpses. After having his way with his latest "lover" before driving her corpse to a funeral home, he forgot to lock the wheels of the gurney holding the casket. As a result of his incompetence, the casket flings forward into his head when he hits the brakes while avoiding a passing car in front of him, severing his brainstem and pushing him through the windshield. After losing consciousness from the accident, the bastard dies.
• I Want My Mommy!: In "Bucky boned" as Lenny dies from his intestines being poisoned after inadvertently drinking 2 magnetic balls out of stress from his illegal Ponzi scheme getting ruined from the market crashing as the FBI Feds are coming for him, he cries out for his mommy as he croaks.
• I Warned You: In "Chili Today Dead Tomorrow", a dumb white tourist at a Native American reservation store tries out a ghost pepper despite the storeowner telling him not to. When the tourist decides to go ahead, the storeowner tells him this verbatim and does it again when the pepper takes effect. It's not the pepper that does him in, but the rattlesnake venom that the storeowner collected for the local university that the tourist took from the fridge and drank down to quench the heat after mistaking it for water.
• I Was Beaten by a Girl: Happens to a gamer who played a video game tournament for 60 hours straight. When he stood up to throw a fit, the clots in his legs from sitting on his ass for almost three days rush to his lungs and kill him.
• If It's You, It's Okay: In "Oz Holed":
  Conrad: I'd do Ozzy, but not, like, in a gay way. You know, it's just like...
  Taylor: I would do him in a gay way.
  Conrad: Yeah! That's cool.
• I'm a Humanitarian: "Reef Stew," where a Fijian tribe forced into vegetarianism because of a typhoon end up cannibalizing two drug smugglers who happened to wash up onshore.
• Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: An extremely common way to go for the victims if they aren't being blown up or shot.
  • "Bull-Heavia": A dictator of an unnamed Middle East country with a private obsession with America — despite filming threats against the country — gets jabbed in the heart with a miniature version of the Washington Monument after flying off his malfunctioning mechanical bull.
  • "This Just In... My Chest": A blowhard news reporter gets an uprooted mailbox in the chest while reporting on a hurricane.
  • "Branched Out": A man who records women firing guns takes a tree branch through the heart when one of said women fires wildly into the air after a hot shell casing lands in her cleavage.
  • "Just Plane Dead": A former airline pilot who got fired over his drinking flies his RC glider dangerously like his days as a fighter pilot in Operation Desert Storm. He lost sight of his glider in the sun, and then it rammed through his back and came out his chest.
  • "Par-Gore": A cocky parkour enthusiast leaps onto a rooftop, rolls over an obstacle, and takes a two-inch pipe straight through his throat.
  • "Him-Paled": A pervert who took underskirt photos gets pierced with a beam through his whole torso, courtesy of a clumsy construction worker.
  • "Offed The Hook": A redneck walking with a meet hook gets the hook lodged into his throat after falling down a ditch.
  • "Apocalypse Harlie": Harlie ends up offing himself when he trips and falls on his machete while drugged out.
  • "Samurai Death Squad": During the titular sport of the segment, one of the competitors gets a spear through his eye, piercing through the back of his head and armor in the process.
• Instant Leech: Just Fall in Water!: Deconstructed in "Sucked Offed," where the victim, an escaped murderer/meth dealer named Carmen, dunks into a lake to hide from the cops while crossing the border to Mexico. The lake's water was chilly enough for the leeches to ambush Carmen and drain her blood without her knowing. By the time she finally came out of the lake once the cops left, she was too weak to move from hypothermia and blood loss and eventually died of exposure.
• Insult to Rocks: During the "Ball 'N Pain" story, the narrator states that "To compare these two to hamsters would be an insult to the entire rodent community." Indeed it would be.
• Intimate Lotion Application: "D-Parted" features a woman acting coy towards some construction workers, including flirtatiously asking them to rub sun lotion on her back. This prompts one worker to get Distracted by the Sexy and cause the accident that kills her.
• Iron Maiden: Clara, the victim from "Dyin' Maiden" was a spy for the French Revolution posing as a chambermaid is executed in this device after her target's assistant foiled her attempt on him.
• Ironic Echo: There are a few moments when something that happened earlier in the segment gets a Call-Back.
  • In the "Mile Die Club" segment, an abusive husband named Nigel is trying to keep his wife, Naomi from leaving him by plane. Nigel tells Naomi that over his dead body she is getting on that plane, to which Naomi replies "Wishful thinking." As Naomi throws off her wedding ring and boards the plane, in a last-ditch effort, Nigel sneaks onto the cargo bay thanks to the lax security pre-9/11. However, there was a good reason why there was a "NO LIVE ANIMALS" sign. As the plane started gaining altitude, the temperature in the cargo bay started dropping, and eventually, Nigel dies of hypothermia.
  • In the "Slayer Cake" segment, an incompetent baker named Elias is fired by the bakery owner, Marion. In revenge, he vandalizes several cakes with slanderous and offensive messages, one of them saying "DIE." Satisfied with his work, Elias turns to leave, but he trips on a tray he threw on the floor earlier in a rage, and accidentally pumps icing into his heart, causing a heart attack. It's no surprise that the "DIE" cake is shown again after he dies.
  • In the "Mastur-Bitten" segment, Palmer, a pervert and a scam artist posing as a health inspector, masturbates into a motel's sheets, planting false evidence to get a free room, saying "Ta-ta," to her as she leaves. Later that night, it's shown the motel could've used a real health inspector, as the room is infested with Arizona bark scorpions, which sting Palmer to death. The narrator ends his end-of-segment quote by bidding "Ta-ta," to the pervert.
    Narrator: Palmer was a disgusting pervert who squeezed himself...and then motel owners. After a tiring day of self-abuse, he had a nice sleep...and then a bite. Ta-ta, freak!
  • In the "Signed Out" segment, Joe, a lazy husband beats himself up to frame his wife, Serena, of abuse when she announces that she's divorcing him. After several self-abuses, Joe tells Serena, "You'll never leave me. Till death do us part." Later, when the paramedics come to take Joe to the hospital, the incompetent EMTs accidentally send the gurney rolling downhill with Joe on it, until it hits a rock and sends Joe flying into a road sign, impaling him. Sure enough, Joe and Serena's marriage ends as death do them part.
  • In "Blown Job" When the protagonist chews out her perverted in a rant in which she includes the phrase " I Hope you die!" A couple of seconds later someone dies... her.
• Ironic Name:
  • "Rife-Ill": the Taliban Sniper who killed himself with one of his rounds ricocheting right back at him went by a codename translated from Arabic as "The One Who Never Misses."
  • "Thanks A Clot": The phony doctor who scammed the sickly, superstitious locals and ends up dying after "treating" a man with leprosy is named Honesto, which is the Spanish word for "honest."

J

• Jerk Jock:
  • "Hard Balled": Brooke is a jock who enjoyed bullying those he deemed lower than him. When he decides to impress some girls with his lacrosse skills by pelting nerds with balls. However, he gets distracted by the sight of the popular girl walking his way and doesn't pay attention to the ball, which bounces right into the center of his chest, triggering commotio cordis on impact and killing the bully of an arrhythmia.
  • "Extinguished": Andre was an ex-coach whose drug addiction ruined his promising career. At a community dodgeball match, he led his team against a team of rich nerds and singlehandedly beat them (figuratively and literally). When Andre's team tries to reason with him for his excessive violence and tells him it's just dodgeball, Andre loses it and yanks out a fire extinguisher to shower them only for it to explode and cause the handle to lodge into his chest, killing him instantly.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: The Narrator. While he's fond of Black Comedy and often mocks the stupidity of the victims, there are times where he'll express his outright disgust with the more evil victims who have committed downright horrible acts. In "Chairway to Heaven", he shows his Papa Wolf side and expresses genuine anger towards the deadbeat dad who abandoned his family.
• Just Following Orders: The narrator jokingly says this of a bullet that kills a Nazi Grandpa in "Master E-raced".

K

• Karma Houdini Warranty: "Master E-raced" features an SS officer who survives being shot in the head in 1945, only to die when he accidentally dislodges the bullet decades later. Lampshaded by the narrator:
  Dieter thought he had cheated death. But the former Nazi had no idea death could be so patient.
• Karmic Death: Generally, half of the victims in any given episode get what they deserve.
• Killer Outfit: In "Rolled Death", a new bride has her head ripped off when her bridal veil snags in the wire wheels of the vintage open convertible she is riding in.
• Kill It with Fire: A lot of the deaths where people are set on fire.
• Kill It with Water:
  • "Bushwhacked 3: Waxed Offed": A bitchy redhead at a Thai spa nearly gets her snatch burned by a flaming bikini wax strip, but ends up dead when the water from the sprinkler system douses her. The woman had a condition called aquagenic urticaria, which, in layman's terms, means "a deadly allergic reaction to water".
  • "Shop 'Till You Drown": A personal shopper who steals and sells knock-off designer clothes gets thrown out by her customer's husband — who hates her because her outrageous prices are making the couple near-bankrupt — and the shopper falls through a pool cover and drowns trying to swim her way out.
  • "She-Manned": A female bodybuilder and fetish actress who likes to sexually humiliate wussy men narrowly escapes drowning in her own bathtub, but dry-drowns while performing for her latest client due to the water she inhaled not being expelled from her lungs.
  • "Rub-a-Dubbed Out" (the story of the scumbag who stole groceries from a blind, pregnant woman and gets trapped in a car wash) combines this with Your Head A-Splode.
• Kiss of Death:
  • The corrupt politician in "Scratch 'n' Snuffed". On one of his trips to his mansion in Brazil, while servicing his Brazilian mistress, he was bitten by a triatoma bug (Also known as the "kissing bug"), which gave him Chagas disease and eventually killed him.
  • A literal example of this trope would be the girl in charge of the kissing booth in "Spit-Ill". She only allowed paying customers to kiss her on the cheek and also stole money for charity. She made an exception with her high school crush and kissed him on the lips, but suffered a fatal allergic reaction from sunflower seeds, which her crush kept eating ever since high school.
• Know Your Vines:
  • "Bush Whacked": A couch potato who binge-watched survival TV shows and kept track of what he heard in them decided to imitate them. He drove into a local forest and while he recorded the first day he took several plants he found to make a spring mix salad and ate them on his way. Being ignorant to the concept of poisonous plants, this ends up killing him as the plants he took were a combination of oleander, foxglove, and hemlock, which caused him a painful, slow death.
  • "Weed Whacked": Two stoners who ran out of marijuana set out to smoke whatever nearby plant they could find to get a "buzz," even going as far as to smoke horse droppings. When they eventually find a plant that gets them as high as they wanted, this ends up killing them as said plant turned out to be poison sumac, the most toxic plant in the US.
• Kung Fool: In "Nun F**ked", an idiot tries and fails miserably to headbutt through a wood plank, then a cinderblock. Not getting the message that he's not the martial arts master he thought he was, he twirls some nunchucks, hitting himself in the head and breaking his skull thanks to the earlier damage from headbutting the cinderblock.