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Sorting Algorithm Of Mortality / Live-Action TV

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To use the Sorting Algorithm of Mortality, simply add the Scream Score for each applicable row, then divide by the number of applicable rows (at this point, 13 or fewer). Remember: this is a relative score, so you need at least 3 characters from the same movie or series to establish a baseline. The original article is here. For characters who have already snuffed it, see Sorting Algorithm of Deadness.

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Likelihood of death So dead   Average life expectancy   Die? Me? Ha!
Scream Score! 5 4 3 2 1
Age Older and Wiser Parent, Clueless teens Single adult Protagonist teens Child
Sexual Orientation Slut, Bisexual, Innocent Virgin Gay Straight Reluctant Celibate
Love Interests by Genre Rich Bitch, Horror Genre Hooker with a Heart of Gold, Temporary Shallow, Romance show Shrinking Violet Distressed Damsel, Action Series
Role Villain, Faceless Goons, Mooks, Red Shirt, The Mentor , The Big Guy Loners, Plucky Comic Relief, Mauve Shirt, Long-lost Friend, The Smart Guy The Lancer, Hero of Another Story, The Sidekick, The Scrappy Ignored Expert,
Those Two Guys, The Chick, Supporting Protagonist
Hero, Creator's Pet
Race Black, Twofer's, Leomon Mexican Asian Indian/Native American Caucasian or The Same As The Writer
Gender Tough Girl, Ambiguous Gender, Feminine Man Male Token Girl Action Girl, Final Girl
Aesthetics Ugly Fat "Average" Fashionably Scarred The Cutie
Personality Nihilist, Crazy Survivalist, Innocent, Pragmatic Jerk Jock, The Ditz, Insufferable Genius Nerd, Jerk with a Heart of Gold The Captain, The Watson All-Loving Hero, Friend to All Living Things
Flaws Too Dumb to Live, Skeptical, Genre Blind, Dirty Coward, Greedy Fell astray, The Stoner, Butt-Monkey (gritty), Smartass Wears Glasses Crippling Phobia Mentally Handicapped
"Virtues" Holier Than Thou, Curious, Pragmatic, Ambitious Quiet Girls and Quiet Guys Smart, Genre Savvynote  Determinator The Pollyanna, The Fool
Species Robots (non-living), Undead, Snakes, Arthropods Cats, Clones, Mechanical Lifeforms Human, Human Aliens Pretty Aliens Dogs (except in literature) (or Disney)
Occupation Retiring Law Officer, Villain by Default, Happy Family Man, Competent secondary female Military Commander, Anyone Serving Under Him, Hero's Best Friend, Mentor Scientist With Questionable Ethics, Innocent Bystander Adventurer Archaeologist, Teacher Super Hero, Nun
Prognosis You Are Already Dead, Take a Moment to Catch Your Death, Post-Mortem One-Liner, Last Stand Your Days Are Numbered, Pre-Mortem One-Liner, You Shall Not Pass! Prepare to Die, He Didn't Make It, Time Bomb, Pre Ass Kicking One Liner, Jump Scare You Have No Chance to Survive, If My Calculations Are Correct Badass Boast, Million-to-One Chance, Ineffectual Death Threat
Health Chunky Salsa Rule, Incurable Cough of Death Overdrawn at the Blood Bank, Soap Opera Disease I Can Still Fight!, Made of Plasticine, Littlest Cancer Patient Made of Iron, Only a Flesh Wound, Ill Girl Nigh Invulnerable, Healing Factor, Consumption
  5 4 3 2 1
Pool predictions Killed Mid-Sentence Drop A Bridge On Him Sacrificial Lion, Stuffed into the Fridge Sacrificial Lamb, Dead Star Walking Plot Armor, The Worf Effect
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Example Cast:

Series or Film NameDescription of who's who and why they're likely to snuff it.

  • Character A:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
  • Character B:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
  • Character C:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun

24

  • Jack Bauer:
  1. Row 1: Age: He was a parent, but now falls under Single Adult. 3.
  2. Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3.
  3. Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: Action Series. 1.
  4. Row 4: Role: Hero. 1.
  5. Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1.
  6. Row 6: Aesthetics: "Average". 3
  7. Row 7: Personality: Comes closest to Jerk with a Heart of Gold. 3.
    • Row 8: Flaws: None on this list. N/A.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Genre Savvy, most of the time. 3.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: (Ex) Federal Agent with questionable ethics. I'll call it a 3
      • Total divided by rows: 24/10= 2.4. Even if rumor that indicates Jack will die at the end of the series is true, he seems moderately safe for the time being.
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  • Renee Walker:
  1. Row 1: Age: Single. 3.
  2. Row 2: Sexual Orientation: As far as we know, straight. 3.
  3. Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: Action Series. 1.
  4. Row 4: Role: The Lancer. 3.
  5. Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1.
  6. Row 6: Aesthetics: Average. 3
  7. Row 7: Personality: The Captain of the FBI in the latter portion of the seventh season. 2.
    • Row 8: Flaws: None here. N/A.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Action Girl. 2.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: FBI Agent with emerging questionable ethics. Call it a 3
      • Total divided by rows: 24/10= 2.4. Right up there with Jack, she seems safe for the time being.

  • Chloe O'Brien:
  1. Row 1: Age: Parent. 4.
  2. Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3.
  3. Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: Action Series. 1.
  4. Row 4: Role: Plucky Comic Relief. 4.
  5. Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1.
  6. Row 6: Aesthetics: Average. 3
  7. Row 7: Personality: Nerd. 3.
    • Row 8: Flaws: Smartass. 4.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Smart. 3.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: Hero's friend. 4
      • Total divided by rows: 33/11= 3. Factoring in the fact that she's the longest-lived non-Jack regular and her close friendship with Jack, she better watch out.

  • Larry Moss:
  1. Row 1: Age: S Ingle Adult. 3.
  2. Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3.
  3. Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: Action Series. 1.
  4. Row 4: Role: Since he's a boss skeptical of Jack at the start, he gets a 5.
  5. Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1.
  6. Row 6: Aesthetics: Average. 3
  7. Row 7: Personality: The Captain of the FBI. 2.
    • Row 8: Flaws: Skeptical. 5.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Pragmatic. 5.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: A commander, but not of the military. I'll give him a 3
      • Total divided by rows: 33/11= 3.09. Survived a long time, but he was doomed from the start.

  • Well, Larry did die, but so did Renee. For all the trope's worth, it's gotta be averted sometimes, sad as it can be.


Firefly

  • Kaylee Frye:
  1. Row 1: Age: Very late teens or early adults. She acts young, so we go for the lower. 2.
  2. Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. Unless you count her electric "friends". 3.
  3. Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: Action Series, with a marriage that was only terminated by death 1.
  4. Row 4: Role: Plucky Comic Relief. 4.
  5. Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1.
  6. Row 6: Aesthetics: The Cutie. Seriously, that lady is Moe. 1
  7. Row 7: Personality: Tough one. Nerd, but also Friend to All Living Things. Average: 2.
    • Row 8: Flaws: Useless with weaponry, but who would want to hurt her? 2.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Smart and Genre Savvy at times. 3.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: Wrench Wench. 3
      • Total divided by rows: 25/11= 2.27. Seriously, she's just too pretty to die. Unless Joss Whedon is feeling particularly evil.

  • Inara:
  1. Row 1: Age: "Single" adult. 3
  2. Row 2: Sexual Orientation: She drops her panties for anyone with sufficient credits, of either gender. 5.
  3. Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: See above 1.
  4. Row 4: Role: Ms. Fanservice and The Lancer. 2.
  5. Row 5: Race: Caucasian, but there's clearly something else in there. '1.
  6. Row 6: Aesthetics: Very attractive. 1
  7. Row 7: Personality: Hooker with a Heart of Gold. 2 then.
    • Row 8: Flaws: Apart from her profession, few really. Make it 2 for the former.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Smart, Genre Savvy. 3.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: Companion, for which read prostitute. 4.
      • Total divided by rows: 27/11= 2.45. She's safe, basically.

  • Wash:
  1. Row 1: Age: Married adult, but not a parent. 3.5
  2. Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
  3. Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: Hard to call. Zoe is an Action Girl, so we'll call it a 4.
  4. Row 4: Role: More Plucky Comic Relief than anything else. 4
  5. Row 5: Race: Caucasian 1.
  6. Row 6: Aesthetics: Average (your mileage may vary). 3
  7. Row 7: Personality: Usually comes off as an Innocent. 5
    • Row 8: Flaws: Definitely a Smartass. 4
    • Row 9: Virtues: Smart and Curious, kind of Genre Dumb. We'll call it a 4.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: While technically a pilot, he's really the Happy Family Man. And to make things even worse, he's the Happy Family Man in a verse whose creator HATES HAPPINESS. 5.
      • Total divided by rows: 39.5/11= 3.59. We now know the standard for "doomed".

  • Zoe:
  1. Row 1: Age: Not so much older, but certainly wiser. 5
  2. Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
  3. Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: She's effectively single now. No score.
  4. Row 4: Role: The Lancer. 2
  5. Row 5: Race: Black 5.
  6. Row 6: Aesthetics: A little to stern to be the Cutie. We'll call her a 2.
  7. Row 7: Personality: None of the descriptions fit. We'll skip this one for now.
    • Row 8: Flaws: Nothing standing out in this category, either.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Action Girl. 2.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: Served under a military commander; possibly a competent secondary. Make it 4.
      • Total divided by rows: 26/8= 3.25. If the show were to continue, her days might be numbered.
  • Mal
  1. Row 1: Age: A single guy, so 3.
  2. Row 2: Sexual Orientation: almost definitely straight, possibly bisexual. 3.
  3. Row 3: Love Interests by Genre: He is single. No score.
  4. Row 4: Role: the Protagonist so a definite 1.
  5. Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1.
  6. Row 6: Aesthetics: YMMV but probably average or fashionably scarred- a 2.5.
  7. Row 7: Personality: The Captain if there ever was one. 2.
    • Row 8: Flaws: Hm.... not really any, but he can be a smartass- but only a little. I'll put him at a 3.5, and include results without the score as well.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Smart, so a 3.
    • Row 10: Species: Human, but in a show that has nothing but humans its kinda strange to count it, but a 3 averages out. so 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: I'd say some where between military commander and adventurer, so another 3.
So, including Flaws, Mal has a 2.5 exactly. Without flaws, its 2.3888888... which means that even Joss Whedon would have a hard time killing this guy!

  • River
    • Age: A seventeen-year-old teen, so 2.
    • Sexual orientation:: Unknown. Skipping.
    • Love Interests by Genre None, so skipping.
    • Role: Ignored Expert fits her pretty well - 2.
    • Race: Caucasian - 1.
    • Aesthethics: The Cutie, definitely - 1.
    • Personality: Tough one. Let's put down a 3 as a Crazy with a Heart of Gold.
    • Flaws: Schizophrenia seems somewhere between "Mentally Handicapped" and "Crippling phobia", so 1.5.
    • Virtues: Switches between Action Girl, Supergenius Girl and Emotionless girl. I'll go with the average of 3.
    • Species: Human - 3.
    • Occupation: Her abilities make her the closest thing the show has to a Superhero, so I'll give her a 1.
      • Final score: 1.94. Not getting killed any time soon. She's even safer when you consider that the central plot revolves around her being alive.

  • Simon
    • Age: Adult, so 3.
    • Sexual Orientation: Straight - 3.
    • Love Interests by Genre: It's an Action Series and Kaylee is often a Distressed Damsel - 1.
    • Role: Something of a loner - 4.
    • Aesthetics: Considering his gratuitous shirtless scene, Kaylee's immediate attraction and Jayne's remark about "yapping that pretty mouth" at him, I'll go ahead and pick the Cutie - 1.
    • Personality: Somewhere between a handsome Nerd and a Ditz - 3.5.
    • Flaws: Smartass, definitely Butt Monkey, what with often he gets punched - 4.
    • Virtues: The Smart Guy, so 3.
    • Species: Human - 3.
    • Occupation: Somewhat of a Non-Action Guy, so I'll go with Innocent Bystander and thus 3.
      • Final score: 2.85 - potentially at risk, especially because of the dramatic potential of his death's effect on River and Kaylee. However, it would mean introducing a new Medic to the show...


Skins

Skins likes to kill one major character every two seasons. Who will it be for Generation 3?

Mini McGuinness

  • Sexual Orientation: Probably a lesbian: 4
  • Role: The hero: 1
  • Race: White: 1
  • Gender: Girly Girl: 2
  • Aesthetics: The cutie: 1
  • Personality: Jerk With A Heart of Gold: 3
  • Virtues: Pollyanna: 1
  • Flaws: Closest would be greedy: 5
    • Total Score: 2.25 - She'll need to open the closet doors first before anyone can get at her.

Grace Violet Blood

Franky Fitzgerald

  • Sexual Orientation: She "likes people," making her closest equivalent a bisexual: 5
  • Love Interests: She's The Woobie and therefore a Distressed Damsel: 1
  • Role: The hero: 1
  • Race: White: 1
  • Gender: Bifauxnen: 5
  • Aesthetics: The cutie: 1
  • Personality: A sweet nerd: 3
  • Flaws: Crippling phobia: 2
  • Virtues: She's quiet and clever: 3.5
    • Total Score: 2.5 - She's already had enough hardship in her life.

Nick Levan

Rich Hardbeck

  • Sexual Orientation: Straight: 3
  • Role: Initially Those Two Guys with Alo, and is something of The Chick for their boy group: 2
  • Love Interests: The closest would be Shrinking Violet: 2
  • Race: White: 1
  • Gender: Male: 3
  • Aesthetics: Average: 3
  • Personality: Loner / Jerk with a Heart of Gold: 3
  • Flaws: Smartass: 4
  • Virtues: Quiet: 4
    • Total Score: 2.78 - Could go either way, depending on how careful he is with those headphones.

Liv Malone

  • Sexual Orientation: Slutty: 5
  • Role: The Lancer: 3
  • Race: Black: 5
  • Gender: Mildly tomboyish/tough, but not masculine: 1
  • Aesthetics: Attractive, but more hot than cute: 2
  • Personality: Jerk with a Heart of Gold: 3
  • Virtues: Smart and fairly Genre Savvy: 3
  • Flaws: Smartass: 4
    • Total Score: 3.25 - The most likely candidate if they decide to kill a girl this time.

Alo Creevey

  • Sexual Orientation: Straight: 3
  • Role: Plucky Comic Relief, most of the time: 4
  • Race: White: 1
  • Gender: Male: 3
  • Aesthetics: Kinda ugly: 4
  • Personality: Crazy Awesome: 5
  • Flaws: The Stoner: 4
  • Virtues: The curious one: 5
    • Total Score: 3.63 - Let's just hope he doesn't go out the way his cow did.

Matty Levan

—-

Skins US

Michelle Richardson

Eura Snyder

Stanley Lucerne

Daisy Valero

  • Sexual Orientation: Straight: 3
  • Role: The Smart Guy: 4
  • Race: Latina: 4
  • Gender: See above for Liv: 1
  • Aesthetics: The Cutie with large breasts: 1
  • Personality: Team Mom: 2
  • Flaws: Smartass: 4
  • Virtues: Smart/Pragmatic: 4
    • Final Score: 2.88

Tony Snyder

Tea Marvelli

  • Sexual Orientation: Lesbian, but has had sex with a boy, and is generally pretty slutty: 4.5
  • Love Interests: Satellite and Temporary: 3.5
  • Role: The Chick: 2
  • Race: White: 1
  • Gender: Same as Daisy and Liv: 1
  • 'Aesthetics: The Cutie, but more hot than cute: 2
  • Personality: Jerk with a Heart of Gold: 3
  • Flaws: Smartass: 4
  • Virtues: Confidence/Ambition: 5
    • Final Score: 2.89

Cadie Campbell

Betty

Chris Collins

  • Sexual Orientation: Straight: 3
  • Role: Plucky Comic Relief: 4
  • Race: White: 1
  • Gender: Male: 3
  • Aesthetics: Average: 3
  • Personality: The Ditz: 4
  • Flaws: The Stoner: 4
  • Virtues: The curious one: 5
    • Final Score: 3.38

Abbud Siddiqi

—-

Stargate Atlantis

  • Character A: Dr. Beckett

    • Row 1: Age: Early 40s (apparent) at most. 3
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: You can't count Rodney. 3.
    • Row 4: Role: A major character, but not part of Atlantis-1. 3
    • Row 5: Race: Very white. 1.
    • Row 6: Aesthetics: Well, he attracted the hot soldier, but let's put it at 3.
    • Row 7: Personality: He's kind of a nerd, but as a doctor who even treats the enemy...split the difference. 2.
    • Row 8: Flaws: Serious technophobe. 2.
    • Row 9: Virtues: The smart, quiet guy 3.5.
    • Row 10: Species: He's a clone. Lousy Word of God-breaking...4.
    • Row 11: Occupation: Takes a hit for being on a military mission (4) and possibly carrying the karma for "Michael". 3.5.
      • Total divided by rows: 27/11 = 2.45. Nearly dead center, but closer to 2 than 3. He may spend next season on ice, but might see daylight again, maybe even to help beat Michael, making him The Atoner.

  • Character B: Administrator Richard Woolsey

    • Row 1: Age: Middle-aged, single, and definitely not that wise. Single Adult = 3.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Has apparently never come up. At all. I'm putting him down as married to his work. 1.
    • Row 4: Role: Started as a single-episode Obstructive Bureaucrat, then became a regular supporting character, and is now a member of the main cast. So, somewhere between Mauve Shirt and Series Regular. 3.5.
    • Row 5: Race: The Whitest Man Alive. 1.
    • Row 6: Aesthetics: Has never been mentioned on the show, see Row 2. I'm putting him down as genuinely average, rather than Hollywood Homely. 3.5.
    • Row 7: Personality: An Obstructive Bureaucrat, but the writers seem to be slowly growing him a spine, especially now he's joined the main cast. He also was always portrayed with good intentions (despite always trying to shut the Heroes down), so I guess he'd also quality as the Jerk with a Heart of Gold. I'll split the difference and give him 3.5.
    • Row 8: Flaws: Skeptical and Genre Blind (in a show where most characters are Genre Savvy). 5.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Pragmatic. Oh so very much. 5.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: A civilian administrator rather than a Military Commander, but similar career role. 4.
    • Average = 32.5 / 10 = 3.25. Things aren't looking too good for Mr. Woolsey's long-term career prospects. I mean, honestly, Atlantis goes through administrators like Hogwarts goes through Defense Against the Dark Arts teachers. And that's not even bringing into consideration the fact that he just recently killed his established, more popular predecessor!.

  • Character C: Dr. Jennifer Keller

    • Row 1: Age: Single Adult. 3.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Has had chemistry scenes with both Ronan and Rodney, so quite straight. 3.
    • Row 4: Role: Recent promotion from Mauve Shirt to series regular. I'll give her a 3.5.
    • Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1.
    • Row 6: Aesthetics: Keller's more mature than Kaylee, but still has her share of Moe behavior. Still The Cutie. 1.
    • Row 7: Personality: Like her predecessor Dr. Beckett, she seems to fall under the "desire to heal everyone, even crazy cavemen trying to kill me" school of medicine (and she ends up trying to make peace with said crazy cavemen by the end of the episode), so Friend to All Living Things. 1.
    • Row 8: Flaws: Crippling fear of heights. Or was it bridges? In either case, 2.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Smart. Stargate Doctors tend to have attributes of the Omnidisciplinary Scientist, and she's no exception. 3.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. Despite looking exactly like a certain young female Wraith from several episodes back... 3.
    • Row 11: Occupation: Well, when you think about it, Keller is the cast's Competent Secondary Female. Sure, Teyla's the Action Girl, but she's also The Heroine and has cast seniority. So, the non-action girl is Vasquez for once. Anyway, give Keller a 5.
    • Average = 25.5 / 10 = 2.55. Unless she goes the Ford route and has a complete flip-out, or they decide to blow her up like Dr. Beckett to show that Anyone Can Die, she seems pretty safe at this point.


Supernatural

  • Character A: Dean

    • Row 1: Age: Twenties. 3
    • Row 2: Sexual orientation: Straight, and not at all reluctant. 3
    • Row 3: Love interests: Temporary. 4
    • Row 4: Role: Hero. 1
    • Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1
    • Row 6: Aesthetics: Pretty darn hot. 1
    • Row 7: Personality: Of the above, I'd have to say Jerk with a Heart of Gold. 3
    • Row 8: Species: Human. 3
    • Row 9: Occupation: We Help the Helpless. I'd call that a 2.

  • Character A: Sam

    • Row 1: Age: Twenties. 3
    • Row 2: Sexual orientation: Straight, but a little more reluctant than Dean. 3
    • Row 3: Love interests: Temporary. 4
    • Row 4: Role: Hero. 1
    • Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1
    • Row 6: Aesthetics: Definitely The Cutie 1
    • Row 7: Personality: Halfway between Nerd and Jerk with a Heart of Gold, depending on the writer. (3)
    • Row 8: Flaws: Considering he's addicted to demon blood to fuel his Psychic Powers, I'd call this one Fell Astray. 4
    • Row 9: Virtues: The Smart Guy. 3
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3
    • Row 11: Occupation: We Help the Helpless, like his brother. 2.
      • Total divided by rows: 28/4 = 2.54. He's more likely to bite it than his brother, but again, this being Supernatural, he isn't likely to stay dead.


Torchwood

  • Character A: Ianto Jones
    • Row 1: Age: Adult. 3.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Bisexual. 5.
    • Row 3: Love Interests By Genre: Action Series. 1.
    • Row 4: Role: Somewhat Plucky Comic Relief. 3.5
    • Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1.
    • Row 6: Aesthetics: Quite attractive, and probably the closest to The Cutie as the show comes. 1.
    • Row 7: Personality: Hard to place, but probably closest to a 3.
    • Row 8: Flaws: A bit of a smartass. 4
    • Row 9: Virtues: Smart, as well as quiet. Split the difference to a 3.5.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3
    • Row 11: Occupation: Hmmm... Well... they're a secret organisation... I'm probably going to have to go with 2.5.
      • Total divided by rows: 30.5/11 = 2.77. He has a shockingly average lifespan. I'd say that means he's probably safe for at least a couple more seasons, at least. July 2009, well that clearly didn't work

  • Character B: Gwen Cooper
    • Row 1: Age: Married, but has no kids. 3.5
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Basically straight. 3.
    • Row 3: Love Interests By Genre: Action Series. 1.
    • Row 4: Role: Lead Female. 1.
    • Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1.
    • Row 6: Aesthetics: Pretty, but not amazingly so. 1.5
    • Row 7: Personality: Can sometimes be The Ditz. 3.5
    • Row 8: Flaws: Varies. Has been known to do some pretty crazy things (but, among this cast, who hasn't?) 3.5
    • Row 9: Virtues: Action Girl. 2.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3
    • Row 11: Occupation: Again, secret organisation. 2.5
      • Total divided by rows: 22/11 = 2. I doubt Gwen's going anywhere anytime soon.

  • Character C: Jack Harkness
    • Row 1: Age: Adult, but also technically older, so split the difference at 4.
    • Row 2: Sexual Orientation: Bisexual. And a slut. Ouch. 5.
    • Row 3: Love Interests By Genre: Action Series. 1.
    • Row 4: Role: He's the hero. 1.
    • Row 5: Race: Caucasian. 1.
    • Row 6: Aesthetics: Super hot, but not really "cute". 1.5
    • Row 7: Personality: Obviously The Captain! 2
    • Row 8: Flaws: Stupidity seems to be a necessity to work at Torchwood, so probably a 3.5.
    • Row 9: Virtues: Fairly Genre Savvy. 3.
    • Row 10: Species: Human. 3
    • Row 11: Occupation: Best fits at. 2.5.
      • Total divided by rows: 27.5/11 = 2.5. Jack scored higher than Gwen, but we all sort of know that's a bit of a moot point. Unless something really crazy happens, he probably won't get killed for real any time soon.


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