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Sorting Algorithm Of Mortality / Video Games

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To use the Sorting Algorithm of Mortality, simply add the Scream Score for each applicable row, then divide by the number of applicable rows (at this point, 13 or fewer). Remember: this is a relative score, so you need at least 3 characters from the same movie or series to establish a baseline. The original article is here. For characters who have already snuffed it, see Sorting Algorithm of Deadness.


Likelihood of death So dead   Average life expectancy   Die? Me? Ha!
Scream Score! 5 4 3 2 1
Age Older and Wiser Parent, Clueless teens Single adult Protagonist teens Child
Sexual Orientation Slut, Bisexual, Innocent Virgin Gay Straight Reluctant Celibate
Love Interests by Genre Rich Bitch, Horror Genre Hooker with a Heart of Gold, Temporary Shallow, Romance show Shrinking Violet Distressed Damsel, Action Series
Role Villains, Faceless Goons, Mooks, Red Shirt, The Mentor, The Big Guy Loners, Plucky Comic Relief, Mauve Shirt, Long-lost Friend, The Smart Guy The Lancer, Hero of Another Story, The Sidekick, The Scrappy Ignored Expert,
Those Two Guys, The Chick, Supporting Protagonist
Hero, Creator's Pet
Race Black, Twofer's, Leomon Mexican Asian Indian/Native American Caucasian or The Same As The Writer
Gender Tough Girl, Ambiguous Gender, Feminine Man Male Token Girl Action Girl, Final Girl
Aesthetics Ugly Fat "Average" Fashionably Scarred The Cutie
Personality Nihilist, Crazy Survivalist, Innocent, Pragmatic Jerk Jock, The Ditz, Insufferable Genius Nerd, Jerk with a Heart of Gold The Captain, The Watson All-Loving Hero, Friend to All Living Things
Flaws Too Dumb to Live, Skeptical, Genre Blind, Dirty Coward, Greedy Fell astray, The Stoner, Butt-Monkey (gritty), Smartass Wears Glasses Crippling Phobia Mentally Handicapped
"Virtues" Holier Than Thou, Curious, Pragmatic, Ambitious Quiet Girls and Quiet Guys Smart, Genre Savvynote  Determinator The Pollyanna, The Fool
Species Robots (non-living), Undead, Snakes, Arthropods Cats, Clones, Mechanical Lifeforms Human, Human Aliens Pretty Aliens Dogs (except in literature) (or Disney)
Occupation Retiring Law Officer, Villain by Default, Happy Family Man, Competent secondary female Military Commander, Anyone Serving Under Him, Hero's Best Friend, Mentor Scientist With Questionable Ethics, Innocent Bystander Adventurer Archaeologist, Teacher Super Hero, Nun
Prognosis You Are Already Dead, Take a Moment to Catch Your Death, Post-Mortem One-Liner, Last Stand Your Days Are Numbered, Pre-Mortem One-Liner, You Shall Not Pass! Prepare to Die, He Didn't Make It, Time Bomb, Pre Ass Kicking One Liner, Jump Scare You Have No Chance to Survive, If My Calculations Are Correct Badass Boast, Million-to-One Chance, Ineffectual Death Threat
Health Chunky Salsa Rule, Incurable Cough of Death Overdrawn at the Blood Bank, Soap Opera Disease I Can Still Fight!, Made of Plasticine, Littlest Cancer Patient Made of Iron, Only a Flesh Wound, Ill Girl Nigh-Invulnerable, Healing Factor, Consumption
  5 4 3 2 1
Pool predictions Killed Mid-Sentence Drop A Bridge On Him Sacrificial Lion, Stuffed into the Fridge Sacrificial Lamb, Dead Star Walking Plot Armor, The Worf Effect

Example Cast:

Series or Film NameDescription of who's who and why they're likely to snuff it.

  • Character A:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
  • Character B:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun
  • Character C:
    • Row 1: Value 5-1
    • Row 2: Value 5-1
    • Row 3: Value 5-1
      • Total divided by rows: Final score and witty pun


It's very popular to rate who's gonna die by the end of the series. Welp, let's find out. Everyone dies during Centralfiction as the world falls apart, so let's see who has a place in the new world.

  • Ragna the Bloodedge
    • Age: I think he's out of teens age so he's Single Adult... I guess. 3
    • Sexual Orientation: He's more 3, the gay stuff was just fanon. 3
    • Role: He's The Hero, who cares with prophecies about he's gonna die! 1.
    • Race: Pretty white. 1.
    • Advertisement:
    • Aesthetics: If being a hunk counts as The Cutie, then 1.
    • Personality: Jerk with a Heart of Gold. 3
    • Flaws: Basically the Butt-Monkey in a Crapsack World. 4.
    • Species: Ambiguous, but several sources point out that he is an Artificial Human. 3
    • Occupation: He's marked as a terrorist, becomes the Black Beast, making him Villain By Default. 5
    • Final Score: 24/9: 2.67. Not likely to die as prophesized, eh Ragna? Then again, this is the world of BlazBlue, which is very cynical. Turns out that shit went south because the Origin fixated upon him, so he had to void himself for everyone else's sake. Thanks a lot, Amaterasu.

  • Jin Kisaragi
    • Age: Younger adult. 3
    • Sexual Orientation: Jin's Ambiguously Bi. 5.
    • Love Interest By Genre: A rich bastard. 5.
    • Role: Right now he's probably Ragna's Lancer, and in other stories, he's actually The Hero, being Hakumen. 3
    • Race: White! 1
    • Gender: Male. 3
    • Aesthetics: He's a pretty boy, owns a shiny leather pants... 1
    • Personality: "The only truth in this world is death". 5.
    • Flaws: Smartass, psycho, gritty. 4.
    • Virtues: Oh he's as hellishly Holier Than Thou. 5
    • Species: He's an Artificial Human. 3
    • Occupation: He's a major, and then colonel. 4
    • Final Score: 42/12 = 3.5. Whoa, Jin. Looks like your bad days as a psycho will come and get you. Fortunately, it wasn't as BIG, so you better work on it. He survived, but he's no longer able to fight.

  • Hakumen
    • Age: Spent 90 years in the Boundary. 5
    • Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3
    • Role: The Hero. 1
    • Race: White! 1
    • Gender: Male. 3
    • Aesthetics: Despite being animated armor, he could come across as attractive. 1
    • Personality: He was the leader of the Six Heroes. 4.
    • Flaws: Smartass. 4.
    • Virtues: Oh he's as hellishly Holier Than Thou. 5
    • Species: He's an Animated Armor. 4
    • Occupation: Super Hero. 1
    • Final Score: 32/11 = 2.90909091. Looks like you have a better chance at living compared to your past self, but you got to be careful, being that BB world is heavily cynical. What was out of the Boundary was obliterated by Terumi, and what's left in there would rather stay in. Rest well, you glorious bastard.

  • Noel Vermillion
    • Age: An innocent teens in look, but she's not yet 10 years old mentally. 1.
    • Sexual Orientation: She hasn't even thought of banging someone anyway, but probably won't stop her. Since she's a Shrinking Violet, she seems pretty reluctant. 2.
    • Love Interest By Genre: Shrinking Violet all the way, with dashes of Distressed Damsel, but being in a World of Badass, this has become less so. 2.
    • Role: She's one of the heroes, plus probably Mori's pet characters. 1
    • Race: White. 1.
    • Aesthetics: She's one of BB's most Moe characters, so 1.
    • Personality: She's one of the biggest, kindest characters in a Crapsack World like BlazBlue... might be Too Good for This Sinful Earth. 5.
    • Flaws: She lives in an extreme end of the Crapsack World, while she thinks she could be idealistic... 4.
    • Virtues: The closest she can get is that she is an Action Girl, if that's saying something. 2.
    • Species: She's a clone of Saya. 4.
    • Occupation: She became a friend of Ragna, therefore increasing her death chance. 4.
    • Final Score: 27/11 = 2.45454545. A little bit higher than Ragna. Being Mori's pet character might not guarantee your life, Noel, especially if 'you exist to save Tsubaki from her fate of death', you might be the one to do that for your death method. She lives as a nun in the new world, far away from anything resembling fighting.

  • Rachel Alucard
    • Age: She's Really 700 Years Old despite that loli look. 5.
    • Sexual Orientation: Shows interest in Ragna, but pretty much Tsundere about it. I'll take that as Celibate. 1
    • Love Interest By Genre: She could very well be BlazBlue's Rich Bitch, even if she shows some heart of gold sometimes. 5.
    • Role: Guiding the heroes with observation, she may as well be an Ignored Expert. 2.
    • Race: White as it can ever. 1.
    • Aesthetics: Uh... she's a Little Miss Badass... 1.
    • Personality: Bitch With A Heart Of Gold. 3.
    • Flaws: She likes mocking people. 4.
    • Virtues: Oh Good God, Holier Than Thou. 5.
    • Species: Vampires do not count in the counting.
    • Occupation: An ally of Ragna, therefore 4.
    • Final Score: 32/10 = 3.2. Gee, Rachel... perhaps you may want to stop being haughty and try to take care of yourself better, if falling to a trap in Continuum Shift is any indication. She's in the new world, but wants to pursue the now nonexistent Ragna.

  • Taokaka
    • Age: Pretty young mentally, probably being the kid. 1.
    • Role: The Plucky Comic Relief is the closest she can get. 4.
    • Aesthetics: VERY CUTE! Well, being a kitten and all. 1.
    • Personality: Really Ditzy. 4.
    • Flaws: She's just mentally handicapped... 1
    • Virtues: Sometimes too curious, but in a good way. 5.
    • Species: She's a Cat Girl. 4.
    • Occupation: As a new friend of Ragna/Good Guy, she gets 4.
    • Final Score: 24/8 = 3. Apparently even comic relief characters aren't completely safe... She lives on.

  • Iron Tager
    • Age: During his death as a human, he probably is adult enough... 3.
    • Role: He'd probably be The Hero for Sector Seven. 3.
    • Race: Once an Ikarugan, so probably Asian. 3.
    • Aesthetics: GIGANTIC TAGER!!!. Okay, so he's actually muscular, but pretty big. So the closest is 4.
    • Personality: The closest he can get is The Captain, seeing that he commanded the people of Ikaruga and is quite the order-man for Kokonoe. 2.
    • Flaws: Uh... he wears glasses? 3
    • Virtues: He's quite the Gentle Giant. 4.
    • Species: He's a cyborg, but at least he still got some lifeforms. 4.
    • Occupation: He serves under Kokonoe, and he wears RED... not a good sign. 4.
    • Final Score: 30/9 = 3.33. Careful of Kokonoe's tuning, Tager. It might backfire. This would be the second time the lucky bastard cheated death, and Kokonoe wasn't involved with this one.

  • Litchi Faye-Ling
    • Age: One of the 'adults' and pretty single. 3.
    • Sexual Orientation: Unless your name is 'Lotte Carmine', she's pretty Celibate even if she'll accept you as a friend. 1.
    • Love Interest By Genre: This is close enough to an Action Series... 1.
    • Role: After Face–Heel Turn, she seems willing to wear NOL's Red Shirt... 5.
    • Race: She's a Chinese Girl. 3.
    • Aesthetics: Ms. Fanservice, baby! 1
    • Personality: Discounting her eventual Face–Heel Turn, she is closest to Messianic Archetype that all she wants is to help people, although she isn't as innocent as before. 1.
    • Flaws: Uh... wears glasses? 3.
    • Virtues: If 'go infect self with Boundary corruption to understand how to cure it' doesn't scream CURIOUS, I don't know what is. 5.
    • Species: Human. 3.
    • Occupation: Used to be a normal doctor, but with her joining NOL, her ethics became questionable, but not enough to become a Villain by Default, as a doctor is still a Noble Profession and she hasn't become mad about it (and her position is Sixth Ranger, so she didn't have that upbringing unlike Tsubaki). 3.
    • Final Score: 29/11 = 2.63. Have faith Miss Litchi, even if Karma will definitely bite you in the boobies for joining NOL, at least your chance of dying or succumbing to the corruption is kinda below average. She's got a new life in Orient Town in the new world, bless her heart.

  • Arakune/Lotte Carmine
    • Age: Around the same age as Litchi and hasn't banged her before turning into Arakune. Single Adult. 3.
    • Sexual Orientation: He's straight all right, but too absorbed in science. 3.
    • Love Interest By Genre: BlazBlue IS Action Series, but Arakune himself IS Nightmare Fuel incarnate, so it got him into Horror Genre... 5.
    • Role: Not the official villain, but is a faceless monster (not complete, thankfully). 5.
    • Race: Looks American when he's Lotte. 1.
    • Aesthetics: Sorry, but The Irresistable Arakune is only in the omake. Officially, he's scary. 5.
    • Personality: Goes into 5 due to his methods of surviving... which is eat eat and eat. 5.
    • Flaws: He greeds for knowledge and disregards Litchi's warnings at first, as well as his own health. Therefore, 5.
    • Virtues: Damn curious. Even more than Litchi probably. 5.
    • Species: He's formerly human, so it gives him 3, I guess. Since Eldritch Abomination isn't being counted...
    • Occupation: Definitely a scientist with messed up ethics that even Kokonoe disapproves. 3.
    • Final Score: 43/11 = 3.90. Mortality rate pretty big, but lesser than the villains because at least he could look Woobie-ish, but he'll not likely to survive. Better prepare, Litchi, since your quest to save him is probably going to end in failure. He's locked in the Boundary for good, and likes it better that way.

  • Bang Shishigami
    • Age: Single Adult, as he is dedicated to Miss Litchi, and hasn't banged anyone else, and would probably never bang her either. 3.
    • Sexual Orientation: DAMN STRAIGHT! 3
    • Love Interest By Genre: This is an Action Series we're talking about, and Bang epitomizes it. 1.
    • Role: Plucky Comic Relief all the way, though he might be a hero of another story as of late. I'll give it 3 as he's getting more serious after CS.
    • Race: Sam as the creator. 1.
    • Aesthetics: DAT SCAR. 2.
    • Personality: Large Ham loudmouthed ninja who shows compassions at times. 3.
    • Flaws: Pretty much the Butt-Monkey of the series. 4.
    • Virtues: A badass Action Hero. 2.
    • Species: Human. 3.
    • Occupation: SUPER HERO! 1
    • Final Score: 26/11 = 2.36363636. A little bit lower than Noel, so probably he'll live and make the world cheerier than normal with his hammy justice and mannerism. And indeed he does.

  • Carl Clover
    • Age: Child, probably from 10-12 years old. 1.
    • Sexual Orientation: Hard to say, but around the midpoint of celibate and straight. Averages to about a 2.
    • Role: He isn't tied to many of the plot's main events, but his Arch-Enemy is half of the Big Bad Duumvirate. Something of a Hero of Another Story. 3.
    • Race: Unambiguously White. 1.
    • Aesthetics: A cute boy. 1.
    • Personality: Sometimes uses morally questionable at best methods of achieving his goals, such as attacking others for information. On the other hand, he can be genuinely kind, caring, and polite, and has been since he was born. Averages to about a 3.
    • Flaws: Can be emotionally unstable and finds trouble trusting adults due to father issues. Also the above mentioned methods. About a 4.
    • Species: Human. 3.
    • Occupation: Vigilante, which in the BlazBlue world is a bounty hunter. However, he mostly uses this job as a standpoint with which to achieve his goals. 3 perhaps?
    • Final Score: 21/9 = 2.33. Despite the cynical nature of the Blazblue world, Carl is a child, so there's a good chance he'll survive to the end. And this is saying something, as he has the lowest score thus far, even lower than Noel! While the boy is left behind, given what Fucking Relius did to him, death may be a mercy...

  • Tsubaki Yayoi
    • Age: As she's on late teens, so probably 2.
    • Sexual Orientation: She only had her sight on Jin... if the Imperator's Orders aren't getting in the way. Therefore, Straight. 3
    • Love Interest by Genre: She's an Action Girl, but the current situation puts her more of a Distressed Damsel that Jin needs to save (that is, from the clutches of Hazama). Then there's the fact that Noel is prophesized to save her from that fate. 1.
    • Role: If NOL is protagonistic, then Tsubaki is more likely to be a heroic character who follows orders. Plus, in the Academy, she used to be Jin's Lancer (Chick goes to Noel). 3.
    • Race: If names are to go by, Asian. 3.
    • Aesthetics: Taokaka calls her 'Average-sized', she wears purdy clothes that doesn't flaunt her beauty, but she's beautiful all right. 3.
    • Personality: Studious, and while she can get into more on the hammy justice action, she is deep down a Hakumen Fangirl Nerd. Thus 3.
    • Flaws:: She took the gritty side and brainwashed into astrayness from the path of goodness (with the protagonist), and believes she IS in the path of goodness... but with things like NOL, who can blame her? 4.
    • "Virtues":: Well at least she's pretty oriented in Action Girl-ism. 2.
    • Species: Humans, birth-issues aside. 3.
    • Occupation: Would've been Villain by Default, really, due to her staunch devotion to NOL, brainwashed or not. But since she's Jin's girlfriend, this gives her the score 4 instead.
    • Final Score: 31/11 = 2.82. Below average, so she'll likely survive, if Jin even bothered. She survives and is now in the 4th, where she originally belonged. Best ending ever.

  • Hazama
    • Sexual Orientation: Very straight. 3
    • Love Interest By Genre: A BASTARD! 5.
    • Aesthetics: They don't call him 'Smooth Criminal' if he hasn't got the good look. Terumi, on the other hand... But let's just settle with 1
    • Personality: "THIS WORLD IS NOTHING BUT LIES!!". Yep, openly stating nihilism. 5.
    • Virtues: A Holier Than Thou-type Troll. 5
    • Species: He's a ghost, therefore Undead. 5.
    • Occupation: As Captain Hazama, he'd be 4.
    • Final Score: 33/8 = 4.125. Dead as of Chronophantasma. Died so sudden and anticlimatic like a dog too, just like the table decreed for his score. And don't let us catch your green ass around here again! And since we're so nice, you can fuck off twice!
      • Go here if you want to consult your likeliness to come back. We personally prefer you stay dead like the maggot you are. Hazama fucked off to the Boundary and we won't really see him again. On the other hand, Ragna made damn sure that Terumi fucked off from wherever he normally fucks off to before erasing himself.

  • Makoto Nanaya
    • Age: Late teens. 2.
    • Sexual Orientation: Seems to be all over the place. She could be considered lesbian for her female friends, but is also straight, as she's been shown having feelings for Jin (though he'll most likely end up with Tsubaki), Tager, and particularly Carl, due to her love of young boys. Is pretty much a 5, due to how high her sex drive is.
    • Love Interest by Genre: She's an Action Girl, and her closest thing to an official love interest is a cute boy. She most likely qualifies as a 1.
    • Role: One of the heroes, but most likely of another story. 3.
    • Race: Most likly Asian, due to her name origin. 3.
    • Aesthetics: A cute and spunky, yet sexy squirrel girl. 1.
    • Personality: Genius Ditz. Roughly a 4.
    • "Virtues":: Action Girl. 2.
    • Species: A squirrel girl. 4.
    • Final Score: 25/9 = 2.778. Fairly likely to survive. If Makoto saw this score, she'd probably react the same way she feels in Tager's gag reel: By tingling in her naughty bits. She'd probably get even more tingly after noticing that Carl's score is the lowest, as she can't keep her hands off young boys, especially ones that are likely to live. Sure enough, her herculean work effort paid off, and she's got a secure place in the new world, friends and all.

  • Relius Clover
    • Age: An Older and Wiser and Evil Counterpart version of Carl. Uh yeah... 5.
    • Sexual Orientation: Has had children w/ Ignis, and created the Murakumo Units, making their butts extremely prominent. However, there is possible Ho Yay subtext with Hazama, so he's quite possibly gay as well. Most likely bisexual. 5.
    • Role: Part of the Big Bad Duumvirate. 5.
    • Race: If Carl's White, he's definitely White. 1.
    • Aesthetics: That mask must've been hiding something, but he's still damn rugged. Therefore 2.
    • Personality: He's not as nihilistic as Hazama, but he might as well, judging on how much of a monster he is. 5.
    • "Virtues": Smart, definitely. Being a man who sought perfection, he's got to be on the Smart part. 3.
    • Species: Human. 3.
    • Occupation: In a worse scale than Litchi; Relius is both a scientist with fucked up morality, and a Villain by Default without having a Noble Profession to back it up. 5.
    • Final Score: 34/9 = 3.778. Higher than Arakune, but probably he's still got a big death rate. But it's more plausible for him to return in future installments than Hazama... And he fucked off to the Boundary without a trace. Lucky bastard.

  • Valkenhayn R. Hellsing

  • Kagura Mutsuki
    • Age: Adult. 3.
    • Sexual Orientation: Chick magnet and proud of it. 5.
    • Role: Has many partners but none in the romantic sense. 3.
    • Race: White. 1.
    • Aesthetics: Tall, dark and very handsome. 1.
    • Personality: Fun-loving Fratbro. 2.
    • "Virtues": Fairly clever despite what his personality would suggest. 3.
    • Species: Human. 3.
    • Occupation: Big Brother Mentor and military commander. 4.
    • Final Score: 25/9 = 2.778. Same as Makoto. Fairly likely to live, but watch out, Black Knight, you may yet fall to Too Cool to Live. Not cool enough to go out in a blaze of glory, apparently. Give Bang our regards, you lucky perv.

  • Nu-13
    • Age: Chronologically a child. 1.
    • Sexual Orientation: She clearly wants Ragna. 3.
    • Role: Frequently a minion for the villains. 5
    • Race: White. 1.
    • Aesthetics: Looks similar to Noel, so 1.
    • Personality: She's nuts. 4.
    • Species: She's a clone of Saya. 4.
    • Health: She's managed to come back from what was basically death by CP. 1
    • Final Score: 20/8 = 2.5. Let's see if she can live. Turns out, she does recover and discards her old identity and personality after doing so.

Gears of WarGears of War 2 is set to deal with Dom and the torment he goes through while trying to find his wife. Let’s see if he, Marcus, and Cole make it!

  • Character A: Dom
    • Row 1: Dom is single, but way of being a widower. 3.5
    • Row 2: Straight, obviously, so 3.
    • Row 3: His Wife is the distressed damsel… and this is an action series. 1
    • Row 4: Dom is The Lancer if you’ve ever seen one. 3.
    • Row 5: Mexican, but only half. Nonetheless, 4.
    • Row 6: Doesn’t really say.
    • Row 7: None of the above.
    • Row 8: A bit of a smartass, not as much as Baird, but it counts. 4.
    • Row 9: None of the above.
    • Row 10: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: He is a guy in the military AND the Hero’s friend, so 4.
      • Total: 25.5/8 rows Final score: 3.1875. If he keeps his head down, he might make it. In 3, he pulls a Heroic Sacrifice.

  • Character B: Marcus Fenix
    • Row 1: Single Adult. 3
    • Row 2: Never says.
    • Row 3: None.
    • Row 4: Hero. 1.
    • Row 5: Caucasian. 1.
    • Row 6: Fashionably Scarred. 2.
    • Row 7: He is closest to The Captain in personality. 2.
    • Row 8: He fell astray in terms of got thrown in jail for desertion. 4.
    • Row 9: Fairly quiet. 4.
    • Row 10: Human 3.
    • Row 11: Again, in the military. 4.
      • Total: 24 /9 rows Final score: 2.66. I think he will be just fine.

  • Character C: Augustus Cole
    • Row 1: Seems to be single. 3.
    • Row 2: Never comes up.
    • Row 3: None.
    • Row 4: Arguably comic relief. 4.
    • Row 5: Black. 5.
    • Row 6: Average. 3.
    • Row 7: Closest to the Jerk Jock. 4.
    • Row 8 and 9: Cole is an awfully flat character, so neither of these is mentioned.
    • Row 10: Human. 3.
    • Row 11: Military, 4.
      • Total: 26 /7 rows Final score: 3.7. The Cole train may be stopping pretty soon. He's still going around as of 5.

Mass Effect

Yes, I'm aware that Anyone Can Die in Mass Effect. I just wanted to see their scores for ME 3 provided they lived to then.

Commander Shepard

  • Age: Adult. 3
  • Sexual Orientation: Straight. 3 (Though it sounds like Bioware might make it possible to change this in ME 3, I won't apply this, since romance is your own decision.)
  • Role: The Hero: 1
  • Race: probably White, 1
  • Aesthetics: (I'm leaving this out, since Shepard does everything the same regardless of if you make him ugly or not.)
  • Personality: The Captain(Paragon/Paragade): 2 / Jerk with a Heart of Gold (Renegade): 3
  • Flaws: I guess Smartass for talking that way to the Reapers, but it doesn't really fit. : 4
  • Virtues: Action Girl (!Fem Shep): 2 / Pragmatic(Renegade): 4 (I'll just land Paragon Shepard a 3)
  • Species: Human: 3
  • Occupation: Military Commander: 4
    • Final Score: 2.56-2.89. Give or take, a little over the average lifespan. It's very telling about the Reapers' plans that they've already managed to kill him once.

Liara T'Soni

  • Age: Single adult: 3
  • Sexual Orientation: Probably somewhere between straight and reluctant. Difficult due to her species being mono-gendered. 2.5
  • Love Interest: Shrinking Violet: 2
  • Role: Close to Jor-El, due to her archaeology background. 2.5 I guess (since she isn't really that either)
  • Aesthetics: The Cutie: 1 (Even among asari, Liara seems like this.)
  • Personality: Nerd: 3 (eh, only with the Prothean artifacts)
  • Flaws: (None of those really fit...)
  • Virtues: Quiet Girl, but also has Smart and probably Genre Savvy, given how much trouble she went to get Shepard's body. 3.5
  • Species: Pretty Aliens: 2
  • Occupation: "Adventurer" Archaeologist (She needs the first half even if she really wants to do the second half): 2
    • Final Score: 2.39. For one of the few characters guaranteed to survive ME 2, that's still a decently high score. Though, it's still lower than most others, I anticipate.

Garrus Vakarian

  • Age: Single adult: 3
  • Sexual Orientation: Straight: 3
  • Love Interest: His relationship could be considered "temporary" at the time, given that he was headed into a suicide mission. 4. (Where it goes after ME 2, may change this)
  • Role: The Lancer: 3
  • Aesthetics: Well most (in-game) people say turians are ugly, but Garrus isn't that bad, really. And he has the whole "rocket-to-the-face" scars going for him. I'd say 2.
  • Personality: He's idealistic, but not Innocent. He's probably somewhere between The Captain (for his Omega work) and Jerk with a Heart of Gold. 2.5
  • Species: Human alien: 3
  • Occupation: He's a former C-Sec officer, but not quite in the same way as most Retirony cases go; he still wants more action. He is still very much the Hero's friend, however. 4.5.
    • Final Score: 3.125. He's at a slightly higher risk of death, but he's already stared it down more than once. What's one more time?


  • Age: She just became an adult. 3.
  • Sexual Orientation: Straight: 3 (She was going to be also a possible same-sex interest, but it was dummied out.)
  • Love Interest: Shrinking Violet. 2.
  • Role: Unfortunately, with her track record, she's going the path of the Loner. 4.
  • Aesthetics: Without seeing what she looks like with that helmet off, she looks just like any other quarian. 3.
  • Personality: She's closer to a nerd than anything else. 3
  • "Virtues": Quiet girl. 4.
  • Species: Human alien: 3
  • Occupation: Definitely Shepard's friend. 4.
    • Final Score: 3.22. Again, like Garrus, higher risk of death, but nothing too staggeringly short.

Mordin Solus

  • Age: Very old for a salarian. But debatable whether he was Older and Wiser, or just a plain old single adult. It leans toward the former (based on his religious beliefs) so he's a 4.5.
  • Sexual Orientation: He's apathetic about anyone who's not Shepard. Probably something between celibate and reluctant. 1.5.
  • Role: Plucky Comic Relief. 4.
  • Aesthetics: He's got the scars, but they're not quite as prominent as Garrus's. He's otherwise quite average. 2.5.
  • Personality: He's a med nerd, definitely. But he has shades of Crazy Survivalist as well (what with the farming equipment). 3.75?
  • Virtues: He straddles a line between Smart and Curious. Probably around 4, then.
  • Species: Human Alien. 3.
  • Occupation: Scientist with questionable morality. 3.
    • Final Score: 3.28. Those high scores were really starting to make me fear for Mordin's life, but it all boils down to only slightly less-lived than average, somehow. But, with Mordin at the end of his life, that may be sooner than you might think.


  • Age: Older and Wiser: 5.
  • Sexual Orientation: As straight as asari can be. 3. (She is celibate now, but not in the past.)
  • Role: She has shades of the Obi-Wan, and is definitely a loner. 4.5.
  • Aesthetics: Your call on if she is a "cutie". I find her more toward the average part. 2.5.
  • Virtues: More quiet than is probably good for her. 4.
  • Species: Pretty Alien. 2.
  • Occupation: She's old enough to probably give an Obi-Wan moment, and she is definitely a competent female fighter. 5 on both counts.
    • Final Score: 3.71. I picked Samara deliberately because I believed she was going to be more likely to die than the rest. While she is notably higher up in the score than the rest, she still is not quite as toast as I thought she was going to be.


  • Age: He's older than Samara. If that's not Older and Wiser, nothing is. 5.
  • Role: He is a Lancer and Hero of Another Story (regarding his work with the krogan). He had the Loner part, but he has ditched it in ME 2. 3.25.
  • Aesthetics: Scars, as befitting a krogan. 2.
  • Personality: He was pretty fatalistic in ME 1, but it seems he has grown out of it. Still the Jerk with a Heart of Gold, though. 3.5
  • Virtues: He's the most pragmatic of the krogan, at least with regards to breeding instead of fighting. He fights like a krogan, but he probably more willing to improvise than most. 5.
  • Species: Krogan are closer to a human species than anything. 3.
  • Occupation: He's certainly Shepard's friend. Whether you can call him a mentor is up to you. 4.5.
    • Final Score: 3.75. Pretty bad off, considering how important he is. The fact that ME 2 defaults to his death is really telling of this. Plus, he is nearly a thousand years old. He must be approaching the end of that lifespan soon.

Modern Warfare

  • "Soap" MacTavish
    • Age: Seems to be single. 3.
    • Role: The Hero all the way. 1.
    • Race: Caucasian. 1.
    • Aesthetics: He's got a big, nasty scar over one of his eyes. 2.
    • Personality: The Captain. 2.
    • Virtues: Willing to do whatever it takes...probably a 5.
    • Final Score: 2.333... Not all that likely.

  • John Price
    • Age: He must be at least 40. 5.
    • Role: Hero of Another Story. 3.
    • Race: Caucasian. 1.
    • Aesthetics: Pretty normal, besides the pimpin' facial hair. 3.
    • Personality: He's got a few screws loose in Modern Warfare 2, but he's a Captain. Let's average it out at 3.5.
    • Virtues: 20 years in SAS have given him a good stash of knowledge. 3.
    • Occupation: Hero's comrade. 4.
    • Final Score: 3.214285714. Questionable. Ready your tissues for Modern Warfare 3, just in case.

  • Makarov
    • Age: Judging by that blow-up doll in his base, he's probably a 3.
    • Sexual Orientation: See Age. 3.
    • Role: Solid villain. 5.
    • Race: Caucasian. 1.
    • Aesthetics: Some people think he's hot, others are just not seeing it...let's go with 3.
    • Flaws: Will do anything for the right price. 5.
    • Occupation: He's a terrorist. 5.
    • Final Score: 3.571428571. Surprisingly low for a villain. Then again, if we consider his race to be a non-factor, we get a 4. Let's hope the developers go with the latter.

  • Foley
    • Age: Doesn't seem to be that old. 3.
    • Race: Black. 5.
    • Aesthetics: Normal. 3.
    • Personality: The Captain. 2.
    • Occupation: Military Commander. 4.
    • Final Score: 3.4. Things don't look too good for our favorite boss...person...guy.


  • Josh Carter:
    • Age: Teenager, 2.
    • Sexual Orientation: Straight, 3.
    • Role: One of the protagonist, 2.
    • Race: Caucasian, 1.
    • Gender: Male, 3.
    • Aesthetics: I would say average, 3.
    • Personality: He's not into sports and writes Sci-fi, 3.
    • Flaws: He's extremely curious, as his school record show that he broke into a teacher's office for a school news investigation, 5.
    • Virtues: As seeing above, he has no qualms to get what he wants, 2.
    • Occupation: All of the kids weren't supposed to stay in the school, making them just casualty for the incident, 3.
    • Final Score: 2,7. I would say that it's a good chance of surviving, at least for the beggining.