![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Well, that sounds very interesting and is certainly a fascinating concept. My only question: if one of the protagonists' arc is struggling with the decision to take up the sword, wouldn't this mean that for majority of the story, it would be sadly confined to the position of Dangerous Forbidden Technique or McGuffin and The Load, as it has to be protected everywhere it is?
The World's Least Powerful Man
Ah. If the sword turns anyone not of the Blood into a Pariah, does that mean it's part of a Monster Protection Racket? Because it sure sounds like it.
Getting out of my grim-dark setting, here's a concept I've been working over for a bit
- Name: [You] the Dark Lord
- Age: Aeons
- Personality: Blank Slate, so the player can project onto it.
- Abilities: The ability to Body Surf to whoever claims it's sword.
- Weaknesses: "Cleansing" damage; having it's Soul Jars destroyed (not that this is easy).
- Goals: 1) Get all it's stuff back. 2) Get a human host to equip it all on.
- Motivation: To Take Over the World. And do it *properly* this time.
- Role in the story: Villain Protagonist player-character
- Backstory: After getting its backside handed to it time and again, the Dark One has decided to switch tack: If the Forces of Good can conquer all before them by persuading a Protagonist to fight for them, why can't Evil do the same thing?
- Relevant Tropes:
- Body Surf: Directly controls whoever claims its sword. Its current Meat Puppet can be killed, but as long as the sword exists to be picked up by someone, it can't die.
- Captain Ersatz: Sauron? Never heard of him. Also, he's a player character, and therefore different from that guy we've never heard of.
- The Corrupter: Drives the claimants of Mac Guffin items mad with power so they challenge it; whereupon it kills them and takes back it's rightful property, or it gets killed and claims their body when they take the sword.
- Evil Overlord
- Hello, [Insert Name Here]
- Lampshade Hanging: Things dear to it are called Mac Guffins
- Light Is Not Good: Mac Guffins are gold in color.
- Necessary Drawback: It needs a human host, because non-human races can't equip certain items (Halflings can't equip boots, or example).
- Our Liches Are Different: Placed its soul/life into several wearable items, hoping to be able to corrupt people who use them.
- Powers via Possession: Grants several Blood Magic/Necromancy spells to whoever picks up one of it's Soul Jars; at the cost of taking them over.
- Rogue Like: Invoked, see Body Surf. A concept of the game is that the sword will be claimed by a randomly-generated character upon each death.
- Theory of Narrative Causality: A big part of its plan. If the villain is the protagonist, won't the villain succeed?
- Unholy Holy Sword: Mac Guffin items certainly look good, using a Good color scheme (gold and white, actually Orichalcum and Mithril) but get the wielder corrupted by the scrap of evil overlord soul forged into them
edited 21st Oct '15 12:49:34 AM by dvorak
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
Name: Hiro Reikokuna
Personality: Serious, cynical, analytical, pretends to be a Cloudcuckoolander to throw enemies off.
Abilities: Superhuman body, master strategist, martial artist and razor floss user, brilliant alchemist and elemental mage.
Weaknesses: His racism against anyone not human ( elves, orcs, etc.) can make him underestimate his nonhuman foes and his immortality only keeps him from aging and getting sick so he can still killed or injured.
Goals: To kill God in order to create a world without pain and death.
Motivation: Tried of seeing the endless cycle of hate that is the world and so he wouldn't be alone anymore.
Role in the story: Big Bad, Evil Counterpart to the main hero
Backstory: Was obsessed with becoming immortal but after doing so he realized he can no longer form a bond with someone because if he is found out to be immortal will likely be hunted and interrogated for how to live forever. After seeing several brutal conflicts between humans and other races (which is what caused the racism), he sets up a 300 year plan to create a utopia and founds an organization of people with similar beliefs.
Relevant Tropes:
A God Am I: He plans overthrow God. Although, he is probably more altruistic than most examples.
Anti-Villain
Authority Equals Asskicking: Head of a secret organization and quite possibly it's strongest member.
Badass: Master of Capoeira and Silat, uses Razor Floss with incredible skill and precision, and is capable of some awesome elemental magic.
Bad Boss: Cares about his minions but won't hesitate to sacrifice them if necessary.
Big Bad: The story's conflict revolved around him.
The Chessmaster: He thought up a 300 year plan to kill God.
Hero Killer: Exactly What It Saysonthe Tin
Mad Scientist: Performed brutal experiments to create the MacGuffin so he could become omnipotent.
Manipulative Bastard: He's a fan of Batmam Gambits.
Noble Demon: He isn't the type to do things for Forthe Evulz.
The Unfettered: He'll kick as many puppies as he has to in order to create a utopia.
Übermensch: If you plan to kill God then you're definitely an übermensch.
The World's Least Powerful Man
And where the critique of someone else's villain, if you please?
@dvorak, I really like the concept and if you made a game based on this idea, I'd definitely play it. The soul jars, though - from plural I suppose it's more than just the sword, so are they going to figure into the story somehow? Is the "stuff" the Dark Lord wants to get back those jars? Otherwise, it may kinda smack of Informed Weakness, especially given how they're nigh-indestructible.
@SirBearington, as dvorak said, you should critique on another villain before posting yours. This being said, as to Reikokuna... I'm not sure why, but I find him to be a really sympathetic character. The only negative personality trait is his racism, and given his backstory, it's kinda understandable why he might turn out like this. Grey-and-Gray Morality kind of story, I wager?
Alright, that's a villainess from another story and world that the previous two I've posted.
- Name: Tuthwalai (lit. "Witch of the Springs")
- Age: 1,500, give or take a few decades
- Appearance: Like most Wyldered Fae, she has long, spindly limbs and fingers, pale, greyish skin, overly large, dark eyes and lanky black hair that usually obscure her face. He mouth is full of shark-like teeth.
- Personality: She's patient, very patient - if her victim escapes, she doesn't mind, she can always wait for the next opportunity to grab them. Disdains company of others and considers herself to be above them because of her powers, which causes her to be often cryptic and belittling where interacting with people or Fae. She considers their attempts at wriggling out of deals with her to be amusing - as long as you don't succeed, that's sure to infuriate her. Tuthwalai has little morals and doesn't consider people's well-being or collateral damage as something to be bothered by. However, harming her is a big no-no.
- Abilities: As a witch, she can create magical potions and curses ranging from simple Love Potion to small-scale Reality Warping, albeit she can't affect people she doesn't have blood or hair from. She's also Genius Loci of her location, the Springs Woods.
- Weaknesses: She's physically unable to lie and must follow the Unwritten Lawnote . Personality-wise, she's overly confident in her victory, making it possible to coerce her into Chess with Death, and her attitude and past actions result in pretty much every Fae in vicinity of Springs being eager to aid the protagonist in taking her down.
- Goals: To get her hands on The Hero, Reil, in accordance with Unwritten Law.
- Motivation: Reil's parents promised that he'll be hers as part of their deal with her, then screwed her over until the deal was overduenote . Tuthwalai does not like being screwed over.
- Role in the story: Chekhov's Gunman of sorts - she continues menacing Reil from the sidelines until he needs to make a deal to save both the world and those he loves.
- Backstory: Her origin is Shrouded in Myth. What is known is that she's been the Witch of the Springs for at least the last seven hundred years and that she made deals with neighbouring Fey and human nobles so that they can't try to evict her under risk of a particularly nasty curse. Every so often, someone desperate comes to her for help, thus keeping her "fed", so to put it.
- Relevant Tropes:
- Deal with the Devil: Her main schtick, as you may guess.
- Blue-and-Orange Morality: Deal is the most important thing. You don't weasel your way out of the deal. You don't break the deal.
- The Fair Folk
- Animal Motifs: Still kinda on the fence with this one, but I'm thinking about toads.
- Chess with Death: One of the ways to make a deal is to challenge her to a game.
- Chekhov's Gun
- Don't Go in the Woods: Her location, the Spring Woods.
- Faux Affably Evil
- Uncanny Valley: Again, a general Fae thing.
- Rules Lawyer: While she abides by UL and rules set down by the deal, she has a lot of practice with making the most of them.
- Shrouded in Myth
- Cannot Tell a Lie: Yet another Fae thing.
- When Trees Attack: How her control over Springs Woods usually manifests.
edited 21st Oct '15 8:25:54 AM by Kakai
Rejoice!
Yeesh. Tuthwalai is pretty creepy; I can't imagine being given over to a creature that even looks like that, let alone her personality. It makes me more curious about the story itself—-what did you mean that Reil will be "given" to her? As a sacrifice? As a slave/servant? As a lover? Anyway, the Witch makes a pretty intriguing villain, since she seems to be that sort of "can't live with them, but can't live without their help" type of character. And from her smug and assured attitude, she knows that her powers will be needed, thus is safe from harm. Her situation with the kingdoms and fey at large reminds me of the philosphical question "Is it better to be loved or needed?. (I personally always chose "needed" for the very reasons mentioned in her profile.).
All in all, a solid character with a good power-set and some creepy designs for your hero.
Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Sorry about that! I guess I got a bit excited.
@dvorak I'm always up for villain protagonist! It's a cool idea for video game or interactive fiction. I honestly think we need more games where we play as villains. It's fun seeing a story from a different perspective.
The World's Least Powerful Man
@ Kakai: there's a ring (did I mention the Dark One isn't Sauron?), a suit of armor (which nymphs won't use), boots (which a halfling can't wear), gauntlets (which werewolves can't use because their claws won't fit), a shield (that berzerkers won't use because they're "fer chickenz") a crown (which elves won't wear because it squishes their ears) and a spellbook (which archons won't use because they do magic differently from everyone else). Every part of the MacGuffin Set contains a tiny peice of the Dark One's soul. They can be destroyed by melting them in a lava pool (but this isn't common knowledge; it's planned to have you need to be Genre Savvy enough to place a garrison at the local volcano to win story mode).
@ Sir Bearington: thank you for your encouragement.
edited 21st Oct '15 10:28:44 AM by dvorak
Now everyone pat me on the back and tell me how clever I am!
@dvorak, that sounds interesting. I understand that those limitations are there because of various races you can Body Surf? Nice concept.
@Swordofknowledge, thank you! Good to know I've managed a creepy villain, that's probably my first. As to why Tuthwalai wants Reil, part one is that she realized that when his parents went to her wanting a kid, they already wanted to weasel out of the deal (guess she shouldn't ask for a kid as a payment for a kid, but it's probably not her fault that Reil's mother is a Magnificent Bitch), so she wants to show them why you don't fool a witch. Part two is spoilery, because at one point the heroes discover that her Genius Loci forest is actually fuelled by trapped magic and minds of all the people, Fae and changelings she's taken as a payback. So that's what she wants Reil for, very much an And I Must Scream situation.
Rejoice!
@ Kakai, Thank you for your opinion and yeah, I am planning for it to be a Grey-and-Gray Morality type of story. I suppose you find it to be a good thing that he's sympathetic but I don't want to make him too much of a woobie.
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Hiro remind me to the Big Bad of my story. Just who Hiro is a Anti-Villain and Makoto (my Big Bad) is...a huge asshole who is hated for everyone with good reasons.
He sound like a good character. PD: If Makoto and Hiro meet each other? How Hiro react?.
Name: Makoto Takeyama.
Age: 16/17 in the beggining. 20 in the Last Story Arc.
Personality: -Before the story: Calm, idealistic, depressive. -In the story: Calm, jaded, depressive, easy to get angry. -After his Face–Heel Turn: -Sadistic, angry, petulant, wangsty (He LOOOOVE Appeal to Worse Problems).
Abilities: All of all...well, he can copy the powers of other. That is his powers, and he can improve them. And he can get Reality Warper status with enough time. He is a Physical God in the ending. He can destroy the world and reform it with his own ideas, he attemp that and only the heroes stop him.
Weakness: His angry issues...when they don't make him even more dangerous. His feelings control him, and his narcissism is the key of his defeat. His abuse against his Evil Genius and the Dark Chick (who has the most depressive backstory who i create. Poor girl) get against him after they get free of his mental abuse (He basically Mind Rape his "friends" to who they believe his "i am The Hero" bullshit. And in the case of Megumi is rape, at least legally -playing with her mind to have sex with her, and erase the memory of the event when you want count like rape, right?)
Goals and Motivations: Create a ideal world...for him and only him. Get revenge of God, Pardon and The councile of Pathos. Via Killing them, and killing all the religious people to get who nobody belief in God.
Role In The Story: Big Bad of the Last Story Arc. Fallen Hero.
Backstory (The most important thing about him): Oh boy, this is a long, long story: Makoto was a citizen for Shin Tokio. The only city who remain with knowledge of his past before the End of the World as We Know It. (Mostly of the cities conserve the tech but no the culture, the religions yes but many traditions was lost).
Bachilea, Brave City and Shin-Tokio are the only cities with culture lefting, but Shin-Tokio has more (even conservate a name of a real city!).
Makoto was one of the discovers of The Black Castle, and he learn who actually was a nexum between "This Side" and other world in where the mankind is in verge to extintion and only the strong and lucky survive to meet other crappy day. Makoto with his friends stop the posibility of who the "Dark Beasts" uses the Black Castle to invade the world. He was a hero facing the adversity in that epoch, the problem? He fall. Fall Hard. The Dark Beast escapes to the real world and destroy several parts of the city. Makoto side with Pardon, god of forgiveness, by find a way to stop the invation, he still fail and the only way to stop a full-beast invation is...delete the city. Not destroy the city, delete it. Erase the city of story and all his natal population. Pardon promise "return the city to the reality" in some future and Makoto is forced to agree. But The God of Evil just fuck Makoto and send him into the new world. A world in where Shin Tokio never exist, just a attemp to create it who fail. With new people and new history. Makoto is the only people who remember Tokyo.
Makoto try to accept his new life but he found who he cannot found any of his friends. Only a girl who he dated in the last year who don't even remember him. He is alone, he was a orphan in the old timeline and he still be a orphan in the new.
And he learn a Awful Truth. The Black Castle is back in the new world, and The Other side still be a Crapsack World like ever. The good news? He has a friend who remember him in the Other Side.
He go the Black Castle and with a mix of experience and Genre Savvy-ness he become The Ace of the explorators (He was The Ace in Tokio too. He just take it Up To Eleven).
He eventually meet Misao and Bran, he become friends with Bran and eventually both start to become Best Friend of Each Other. But Makoto never forget his past friends..
Makoto eventually find a way to return Tokio to the reality and he goes for it. Eventually end in a conflict with Pardon who tried to convice Makoto to stop his plan. Makoto gives up but..he learn who the only motive of Pardon of delete the city is because his mission is The Status Quo Is God (in the world, literally. God support the status quo). Pardon can stop the beasts but he don't do it because God don't let himm Makoto also discover who Pardon has plans to create a "Savior" to his plan to make who the People love God and try to use Makoto like a "martyr". Pardon say who he lamment all of this and who he is just making his duty but that don't calm Makoto who with Shelley, a Mysterious Waif who "help him in all who she can" eventually try to get the center of the Black Castle to use "the Throne" as a way to get Tokio back. And then the Reborn of Evil does...the God of Evil manipulate not only Makoto, but nearly all the characters to get himself in the world. He comes with a explotion who kill dozens of people and destroy many houses. Traumatizing both Makoto and Brandon.
Makoto pulled a Face–Heel Turn and try to kill Pardon "because if you worried for the people you tried to avoid all of this" -And..he is right, Pardon don't tried to stop him, not is Pardon fault actually because are many being who those jobs in fight agaist the God of Evil. But Makoto was in a very bad mood. He eventually try to use the throne of the black castle and become into a Egg (A Egg is a human who can use his soul like his power, he can copies every power and improve it, his skills get better if he get the "essence" of other Egg). He kill some Eggs (while he justifies himself saying who he "get the way to revive them" and/or "they deserve die"and he eventually get into a fight with other explorer of the Black Castle and one of Misao and Bran friend's: Jhonatan. Eventually the battle get into a point in where the trio of Bran, Misao and Jhon send Makoto (now a High-rank egg) into "the rift" with Shelley. Makoto develop a grudge with Bran who eventually get bigger with the time.
Makoto finally end living in Tokio, very damaged and selled of the rest of existence, Makoto manipulate the entire city to follow him and open a portal to the True World. Makoto arc is getting every time worse, and worse...and worse. Makoto is chased by a section of the Black Knights, a group of Knight Templar who want kill him because he is a "danger for God and for our leader". Makoto and the people of Tokio stop it with difficulty and Open the Portal with Tokio only to get a Battle with The Leader of The Black Knights. The Last Egg, and the only one who can defeat him.
Tokio turn into a awful place with the people deformed and damaged. Turned into demons who follow Makoto only for despair (and see him like "our last hope"). They torture Pardon, The Big Good only for anger and because Makoto lied them. Makoto used the soul of Shelley to open the portal and fuse the fragments with the soul of her Girfriend. Turning her into a new being who entire personallity is made for Makoto's desires.
Makoto use his "friends" like ways for his own narcissism. And he start a huge genocide in only a year. He open the Gates of Hell and he is the King of Demons. He is the Sign of the End. He is kinda a asshole, right?
(I put a bit more about him in This thread, for if someone care [1]
.
-Tropes:
-Blood Knight: He love fight, he like it...he use them like a way to scream: I am the best!.
-Omnicidal Maniac: Destroy the reality and all the souls to create a new world.
-It's All About Me: Yes, he believe who he is the center of the world. Who he is The Hero and he deserve his happy ending.
.Appeal to Worse Problems: His favorite trope, he constantly use them like mock of his enemies, before kill them. And if someone has worse than him...he still kill them.
-Complete Monster: My attempt to one:
edited 23rd Oct '15 3:25:52 PM by KazuyaProta
Watch me destroying my country
@Kazuya Prota, Thanks for the feedback! Makoto seems like he would be like an Evil Counterpart to Hiro. The two of them have similar goals and shitty lives but where Hiro is altruistic and noble, Makoto is selfish and egotistical. If they were to meet...I think Hiro could empathize with him a little bit but feel mostly disgust towards his actions. If Makoto was killing Elves or Goblins and not humans then Hiro would probably want to form a Big Bad Duumvirate with him. By the way I noticed Makoto doesn't have any weaknesses listed. Not only that but eventually becomes a Physical God. You should be careful or he might be viewed as an Invincible Villain but other than that you created an interesting and despicable antagonist.
(Work in Progress)
@Kazuya Prota Makoto does seem to be an interesting character, I like how his backstory is very in depth and detailed. Like @Sir Bearington said, you have created a despicable antagonist.
Even though she’s not fully developed yet (I still have yet to flesh out her backstory) I’ll share one of my villains. She’s actually the main character of the story.
Name: Alma Valentine
Age: 25
Personality: On the outside, she acts very confidently, not really seemed bothered by anything. However that’s usually just an act, something that makes her look more threatening. A lot of the time Alma is one step ahead of everyone, and that can lead to her being quite condescending. Alma is actually introverted and usually doesn’t like speaking to people she doesn’t know. She is definitely a pessimist, not hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Alma can be quite ruthless, often disregarding peoples’ lives in order to get something done. With that said though, there are some decisions that she makes that she ends up regretting later. With those she cares about, she is very protective and will do anything she can to keep them safe. Alma often bounces between being a villain protagonist and an anti hero, as she can feel empathy for some people, and sometimes helps them out but her immoral actions make her hard to not see as a villain.
Abilities: She is a normal human but she can kill, and can use pretty much anything nearby as a weapon. However her main weapon is her intellect. She can come up with plans and manipulative scenarios in her favour.
Weaknesses: She actually is quite lonely inside, but she holds great connections to people that she likes and if she misplaces her trust, she can be exploited. At times she can make some decisions that make sense but other times she makes them erratically, that can backfire immensely.
Goals: To move up in the mob she recently joined, find enjoyment in life. Motivation: Alma doesn’t know what she wants, she goes throughout life, attaching herself to people and things and seeing where it takes her. Alma finally found something that she could do and wants to pursue in life (being part of a gang).
Role in the story: The villain protagonist.
Backstory: (BTW, the full detailed backstory is not here, this is a shortened and less detailed version of the backstory)
Alma Valentine grew up in a fairly average household with her parents and young sister. Alma had seriously poor social skill but her parents didn’t really pick up that she had some problems. Her late teens was when she started having great problems, it would lead to her killing some people – no one found out it was her though. Eventually she learned over time to hide her feelings, and seem more open, even when she wasn’t. With that, she lessened the amount of people she ended up killing and she could talk to people easier. Alma eventually ended up killing her parents so that Amy could live with her – a decision that she doesn’t feel remorse for. As an adult she hasn’t found that much success, not that she can’t do the jobs, she just doesn’t find enjoyment and if she does find enjoyment, it’s short lived. She doesn’t have any friends apart from her sister and she’s living an unhappy life. This is when the story starts.
Relevant Tropes: Anti-Hero, The Cynic, Manipulative Bastard, Villain Protagonist
edited 26th Oct '15 1:47:37 AM by Nightstalker
The future of warfare in UC.
Broke your tropes there partner.
It needs...expansion in some areas; the erratic decision thing needs rules, which while awkward prevents it from just seeming like she's making them to suit the needs of the author.
Also, what is it about the gang that appeals to her such that she's decided this is where she wants to stay?
Nous restons ici.
Thanks for the feedback, as I said earlier I am still developing her so this is helping me to expand her character more.
Regarding the erratic bit - I probably should've gone into more detail (and used a different word to describe it). Most of the time she makes her decisions rationally but if there is something influencing her decision (like a person who might harm one of the people that she knows), she can make decisions irrationally (eg. she might want to have them killed even when there is a safer and more reasonable option available). In the story I'm writing that doesn't happen very often though.
Alma finds the whole gang thing appealing because it feels like she belongs there. After killing her parents and deciding to look after her sister, she decided that she shouldn't kill anymore and stay out of trouble. The jobs that she tried seemed quite boring to her, too simple for her. When she was introduced to crime, she felt like she could apply her intellect in this area. She was smart and used her intellect in her jobs but it didn't feel right to her, it didn't feel like that was where it was supposed to be used. It however seemed to fit perfectly with her criminal activities. Also, it felt much more thrilling and exciting for her, and things felt more unpredictable. I feel like even though Alma is an introvert who doesn't really want to do much with people, she does have this internalized desire for thrill and excitement that she needs to fulfill. However I'm thinking that really at some point, she will lose interest in the gang life, it would just take longer for that to happen (I'm thinking about implying that in the ending of the story).
Shin Megami Tensei IV
Oh, a Villain Protagonist. Interesting, she sound very comprensible. She fight against a Hero Antagonist? Thanks for you review of Makoto.
Someone want a liste of Makoto crimes?. I made it:
-Killing a couple to absorbe his Eggs to become more powerful, he initially regret make it and promise revive them when he become a God. But eventually he has Motive Decay and he only justify kill them like a "they made me make this".
-Killing the Sixth Ranger of Brandon team to get his Egg, he just justify this like: "He was working for Pardon!. Sorry, now just die!"
(For the fact, the moment in when this happens in a very short period -two days- and Makoto was in the worst moment of his Trauma Conga Line. He actually feel bad, but he just try to get over it)
He is send into The Rift...and he get the thing who he want. He get his life in Tokio back...but Tokio is in the Rift, is a island in the void. The city can survive by himself but is alone, and the people is desesperate. And Makoto become into his savior. Sadly for him (and eventually for all of us) he is chased by Knight Templar Justice (that is his name) and many of his allies who called themselves the Knights of Heaven (and are) and try to punish Makoto by his crime of spite against God. Spoiler: Actually Lord Justice is a Egg and want kill Makoto to become into a Psychical God, he actually belief in God ideal but he want use the power of the Egg to create a better world, a Well-Intentioned Extremist in his core.
Eventually all ended with Makoto using the soul of Shelley (who died for him in other arc) to send Tokio to the real world. Why? Because he want a final duel against Lord Justice (who eventually give up and left Makoto...too late) and God (By create a the Egg System...is a long story).
Shelley soul is destroyed and Makoto use her fragments to fuse with other special person to him...Megumi.
Megumi is turned into a totally new person, who mind and belief are decided for Makoto desire. The luck of other Makoto friends is bad too. All of them are brainwashed for Makoto to constantly love him. Makoto play with their memories every time when he want.
When he return to the real world he know what happens if a city like Tokio get back...The people get deformed into awful creatures, and he want use that like get who ALL of Tokio´s poblation hate God. He is a lier.
When he and Bran found themselves he is just a ragging monster with a High Concept of himself. He burn the equivalent to the Vatican and torture many religious figures.
...And he get his final fight against Lord Justice and Pardon, kill the first, torture the last. And he found The Heart of World, and he try to active it to create his ideal world. Using Megumi, his "dear" goddess like her core. And make his fetish for Her a ideal.
Eventually Megumi develop a free will and get the confidance to try to stop Makoto, she died but her sacrifice make who Bran and Misao can send Makoto to the hell who he deserve.
edited 26th Oct '15 6:23:24 PM by KazuyaProta
Watch me destroying my country
Sounds good. It seems like it starts with Jumping Off the Slippery Slope and it only gets worse from there, with nothing being much out of place, although I'm not sure if the jump between him being the saviour of Tokio and him brainwashing Megumi and the other person into his thralls isn't too sudden. BTW, Makoto brainwashing his two friends is creepy as hell, at least for me (you've just hit my Nightmare Fuel. Yay. 
), so I'd say that's sure to breed dislike for him (which is a good thing, I suppose).
I'll drop another of my villains here, from the same world Tuthwalai is. For context, the 'verse is sort of Diesel Punk with some Steampunk elements and aesthetics, only instead of fossil fuels, everything's powered by spir, life energy of living things, extracted by alchemic compound called spiric acid.
- Name: Eddar Glynd
- Age: 32
- Appearance: Massive and bulky, Eddar is a one of the spirselenote . He has six spider-like metal "arms" on his back, a thermal vision lens over one eye and a powerful lamp over his shoulder. Because of the extra weight of this and spir-extracting equipment, he's usually hunched, and spiric acid made him bald and pale.
- Personality: Eddar's Hot-Blooded and very passionate about hating his many berserk buttons, first and foremost among them being the "high-born". He enjoys killing and often toys with his "prey" before finishing them off, but outside of that, he can be very pragmatic and will never engage in taunting when he knows he may not have time for it. In fight, he doesn't shy away from cheating, dirty moves or bringing several henchmen to aid him. He has pretty much no morals and very, very little empathy. He's used to being in charge and others getting out of his way wherever he is. In contrast to many of his fellow spirsele, he disdains religion.
- Abilities: Eddar's a hardened killer, proficient with both knife and guns and bigger than most people. Additionally, while two of his extra arms end with huge metal hands, two end with long blades, one with a drill and one with sort of on-contact taser. His eye lens enables him to see body heat, making it hard to hide from him. He can also call on Big Bad's cohorts and his own contacts in the city.
- Weaknesses: Apart from what's on his back, he's still a human who can bleed and die. Moreover, sufficient heat can not only blind him on one eye, but also melt metal that's literally embedded in his bones, and failure of any component of system extracting spir from his body can lead to serious spiric acid poisoning, which is Not A Good Thing.
- Goals: To bring down the class society of his homeland, especially the nobility. Ultimately, to let go of society altogether and introduce anarchism.
- Motivation: He's an anarchist and sort of pseudo-marxist of the worst variety. He hates the rich with passion and considers them a parasite on society.
- Backstory: Born to a low-class worker family, Eddar never had any formal education save for his spirsele uncle's teachings and lost most of his jobs to deliquency, leading to his increasing conviction that the "high-born" are after him. He found fellow minds in one of many clubs growing around anarchist and equalist philosophies popular at the time. This particular group being one of the most radical, they eventually began conspiring to start putting their thoughts into practice, with the planned first act being blowing up a house of an influential noble. However, the Royal Police had caught the wind of this and the entire group was arrested and put to prison. This is where Eddar was found by the Big Bad and convinced to join his cause. The Big Bad manipulated people behind the scenes to free Eddar years before his term was up and from then on, Glynd has been managing his new boss' affairs in places where a nobleman shouldn't be seen and doing jobs too dirty for a high-born to dirty his hands with it.
- Relevant Tropes:
- Book Dumb: He can barely read and can't write, but he's extremely smart and knows a lot about spir engineering.
- Evil Counterpart: To Sourseille, a spirsele on heroes' side.
- The Dragon: To the Big Bad.
- Dragon with an Agenda: The Big Bad wants a collapse of civillization altogether (I'm not sure how much of his plans Glynd knows, though), while Eddar wants to bring the society down and then recreate it.
- Eat the Rich: His main motivation.
- Berserk Button: Disobeying his orders, trying to bribe him, the nobility, tattletales, Category Traitors.
- Combat Pragmatist: Doesn't shy away from anything.
- Psycho for Hire: Big Bad's go-to man for things like murder or torture.
- Loves the Sound of Screaming/The Bully: He enjoys seeing his victims terrified of him.
- Working-Class Hero: Who he thinks he is.
- Multi-Armed and Dangerous: He has six extra limbs, two of which end with giant knives.
- Animal Motifs: Defied; most spirsele associate themselves with spider, symbol of their faith, but Eddar avoids it purposefully and mocks those who do.
edited 27th Oct '15 7:16:16 AM by Kakai
Rejoice!
Eddar certainly cuts a terrifying figure in my mind; I imagine him sort of like a steam-punk Dr. Octopus on steroids, what with his knife-ended spider limbs. But I'm more interested in his personality really; while I wouldn't classify Eddard as Dumb Muscle, he seems to be a sort of "smart brute", if that makes sense. Someone with enough intelligence to construct an ideology and place blame upon a chosen target for the wrong they seen in their society. And yet for all of that intellect and judgement, he comes off as brutish, cruel and a genuine thug.
I like his backstory, especially the part about how his jobs were lost to his own mistakes and crimes. He might have been born into a lower class, but he missed his chance to be a self-made man through his own actions, and in the end it makes him more loathsome for placing blame on "the rich guys" for his failures.
I'm curious about his religion—or at least the religion he belongs to through heritage, since you said he disdains it—and the world of your story in general.
Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Thanks, that's the feel I was going for!
As for the world, I wanted to write it here, but then realized that it'd be quite an infodump... so it's in your PM instead [cue Evil Laugh].
I gotta say, I'm not quite sure about his relationship with the Big Bad, given how the other man is very much at the top of local Fiction 500 and a member of ancient Blue Blood family to boot. Wouldn't it come off as too hypocritical for Eddar to work for him?
edited 27th Oct '15 2:17:03 PM by Kakai
Rejoice!
feeling blue
It wouldn't be too hypocritical if he's just doing it in order to further his own goals, he might consider working for the Big Bad to be just a necessary evil in order for him to be able to clear his own objectives which sounds reasonable enough. I quite like him and I do see a bit of Doctor Octopus on him as well.
Now for mine which is my version of a character from mythology, yay.
- Name: Izanami-no-Mikoto
- Age: Thousands of years
- Appearance: A beautiful woman of pale skin, black hair in a Hime Cut and black eyes. She's dressed in a white and black kimono with a yellow rose pattern on it and wears a pendant made of magatamas. However, as she begins to lose her cool, her body begins to deform and reform until she becomes essentially a zombie in all of its hideous appearance.
- Personality: Izanami is calm, polite and serene, she speaks in a soft, gentle tone and is generally a reasonable being, however her temperament often reaches the point of being a little too relaxed even when dealing with the most unpleasant and disturbing situations. However, as she begins to lose her temperament she starts becoming more and more feral in nature, progressively becoming angrier and violent until she reaches a point where she's nothing more than a beast screaming in a demonic voice until she manages to calm herself down. She has issues with envy towards other women, mostly the ones who are very beautiful or are in a very stable relationship with a man. On the other hand, she has an intense distaste for men, believing them to be shameful beings driven by lust who only care about women for their appearance and pleasure that they can provide.
- Abilities: Izanami is capable of manipulating earth, water, wind, nature and light, even being able to create life at will and cause death to befall someone else out of whim if she so desired. She's immortal and is also omniscient about all events that transpire inside of Yomi, but she's also aware of the state of all worlds, though just in a general way.
- Weaknesses: She is bound to Yomi, meaning she can't leave it or directly interact with the world outside of it, only being able to indirectly influence it with the assistance of her underlings. Her body is also very frail and although she's immortal, enough pain can render her unable to move and use her powers and thanks to her frail body she feels more pain than usual after being struck by something.
- Goals: To merge Makai with Earth in order to achieve true balance between the two worlds
- Motivation: She sees Earth as being unbalanced and unstable, thanks to the sealing of the Youkai leaving humanity to prosper. Izanami begins humanity will eventually destroy itself and the very world they live in if their progress is not stopped and so she intends to bring the Youkai over to function as natural predators of humanity and cut down their numbers which would also allow her to keep her promise to Izanagi. She also wishes to see the Youkai being able to return to the land where they once lived, seeing their sealing as a necessary evil at the beginning but that now can be undone without risks.
- Backstory: Izanami and her former husband, Izanagi, were the deities responsible for the creation of the land and sea and also were responsible for the creation of many other deities. However, Izanami died upon giving birth to one of them and was sent to Yomi, the underworld, Izanagi went there to bring his loved one, now shrouded in the darkness of Yomi, back, but she had already eaten the food of Yomi which binded her to it but Izanagi was determined to bring her out. She insisted that he wouldn't look at her face until they were already out, but curiosity bested him and with the help of a torch he looked at her and saw her as a rotting corpse which scared him enough to make him leave and abandon her. She chased after him, but he escaped and blocked the path to Yomi and she promised him that if he didn't return that she would kill the residents of the living world every day to spite him, to which he retorted that he would just create more to compensate. Once the day of the Youkai's sealing came, Yomi was sent over to Makai along with them, further hindering her from being able to return.
- Relevant Tropes
- All Your Powers Combined: She can manipulate the elements of all the seals, though she swaps Void for Light this is key for defeating her.
- Berserk Button: Just the mention of Izanagi's name is enough to set her off.
- Big Bad: Though she doesn't take center stage until much later into the story, she's always the one pulling the strings.
- Dissonant Serenity: Her calm behavior can get unsettling at times where it just isn't appropriate.
- Does Not Like Men: Izanagi abandoning her left her with quite the bad opinion of men in general
- Does Not Like Shoes: She walks around barefoot.
- God Is Flawed: She's not evil by nature but her anger towards Izanagi and envy drive her to take questionable actions.
- Green-Eyed Monster: She's jealous of other women who didn't have her beauty stained like her and also have a healthy relationship with their male partners.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: She uses the Seal of Void to nullify the power that prevents her from leaving Yomi, but in doing so the seal also blocks her powers as well, though she's powerful enough that it can only weaken her significantly instead of completely nullify her powers, but it's enough to give the heroes a fighting chance against her, and she has to be within the seal's area of effect at all times when outside Yomi otherwise she's going to get painfully sent back there
- Light Is Not Good: It's one of her elements so.
- Revenge: A part of her goal is to honor the promise she made to Izanagi when he left her, even though she won't admit it herself.
- Orcus on His Throne: Justified in her case as she cannot leave Yomi and so can't directly intervene on Makai's affairs and once she gets what she needs to leave, she immediately does
- Our Zombies Are Different: She's essentially an undead deity, though she can keep her true, decaying body hidden as long as she can keep herself calm.
- Tragic Monster: She never really did anything to deserve all the stuff that happened to her
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: She genuinely wants the best for Earth's balance, it being the planet she helped shape, but her methods (killing a ton of humans, directly or indirectly, to set back their growing numbers) aren't exactly moral, thanks to her hatred towards Izanagi blinding her.
- Woman Scorned: Being abandoned by Izanagi leads to her plot of achieving both her revenge on him and Earth's balance at the same time.
- World's Most Beautiful Woman: No one can match her in looks, at least as long as she can remain calm, it still doesn't stop her from getting jealous of other woman though.
That's a pretty interesting retelling/retake on Izanami. I first read the story of Izanami and Izanagi when I was nine years old and it always seemed pretty unfortunate. I don't remember the part about killing people every day, but again I was pretty young.
Her motivation seems pretty straightforward, and I like how you brought her down at least to the level where the heroes can stand a fighting chance, since battling against an evil god/goddess always starts with the deck stacked against the good guys for obvious reasons.
She is most definitely flawed, and you certainly play with the trope of Does Not Like Men. Usually when you see that in play, the person acting out the trope is at least a little friendlier towards women, but she seems to be just a general hater of both genders, though for different reasons.
I'm a little curious what the medium for this story is.
Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Another villain from the same unnamed fantasy story which contains the Golden Sword.
- Name: Ser Marlene Landry, the Guardian-Knight
- Age: 50
- Appearance: Standing at 6'1, Marlene is a regal and intimidating figure. Her face is lined and weathered, her once-brown hair has gone gray and her blue eyes are cold and watery. Marlene wears an elaborate yet functional suit of silver armor with the symbol of the Crusaders emblazoned on its breastplate and on her head rests a golden circlet featuring House Landry's symbol. When not in armor, she wears simple but well-tailored dresses and gowns.
- Her Pariah form was fifty meters long and was a skeletal humanoid entity with a red crystalline exoskeleton. It had four rudimentary limbs, which ended in writhing masses of Combat Tentacles, and hundreds of eyes on an otherwise featureless head. Because of its bodily proportions, it dragged itself along with a twitchy, jerking gait. The entire creature was wreathed in an aura of shining white fire, similar to the flames used by the Golden Sword's chosen Heroes.
- Personality: Marlene is dignified, aloof, and coldly polite in her dealings with others. As Guardian-Knight and a member of the Landry family, she views the mortal citizens as her responsibility to protect and defend. Her authority as absolute in her mind, and she hates those who second-guess or doubt her plans. She is far more dedicated to fighting the Deep God than her predecessors, and dreams of actually killing mortal-kind's nemesis rather than merely defending territory. Marlene believes that mortal supporters of the Deep God are hiding among the citizens of the domed lands—a previously unheard of idea. She sees these suspected agents as dire threat, and will use any means necessary to find and destroy them. While outwardly doting towards her son Hope, she has undercut his sense of self-confidence throughout his life to ensures that he turns to her for advice and validation of his self-worth. Marlene feels little motherly affection for the boy since her master plan requires his death. She has a complicated relationship with the Golden Sword; it as the hope of all mortals, and yet it stole her brother and father from her in a horrific manner. She both loves and despises it, and often engages in lengthy conversations with the weapon when she is alone as though it were a real person.
- Abilities: Marlene is a skilled military strategist, having received years of training from experts since the age of ten. Because she leads the order that protects mortals from the Pariahs, she is the strongest political power within the domed lands, and even the rulers of the races that live in the territories fear to go against her wishes. She has absolute control over the White and Black branches of the Crusader Order and thus governs an army of dedicated knights. When brute force fails, Marlene can convince people to follow her by offering their heart's desires or by brutally breaking down their mental walls through psychological warfare. Marlene is a capable administrator and leader of both the Crusader Order and the domed lands, able to multitask and keep track of many domestic affairs while fending off assaults from the Deep God's minions.
- Her Pariah, like most of its kind, had an extremely hard exoskeleton which could only be pierced or shattered by heavy artillery blasts. Its strength was immense; it was able to level most of Six Towers just by coming into existence. Its tentacles had a long reach and could tear metal, stone and flesh apart like paper. The white flames surrounding its body consumed anything that got too close without protection. Due to its multiple eyes, it could see in many directions at the same time, which made assaults difficult.
- Weaknesses: Marlene's pedigree and position have given her the delusion that she is infallible. Her arrogance makes her outright unwilling to listen to what others have to say, even if their points are valid. Her hatred for the Deep God and her paranoia over supposed mortal supporters of the creature have driven her to draconian and unpopular policies that have made her and the Crusaders disliked and feared—as well as the butt of many whispered jokes. Despite having both power and manipulative skills, Marlene swiftly loses her temper if her plans are defied or seen through. Finally, her endgame hinges on an assumption, and will cost the lives of everyone beneath the domes if she is wrong.
- In Pariah form, she was extremely slow-moving due to her size and stiffer than usual exoskeleton. Unlike other Pariahs, Marlene did not possess a Healing Factor, making wounds permanent and debilitating. The shard of the Golden Sword she stuck into her chest acted like a central weak point on the Pariah's body and once it was destroyed, the whole creature disintegrated.
- Goals: Manipulate her son into becoming the latest host of the Golden Sword and use him to kill Marian the Maid of the Underground, a sentient fragment of the Deep God. This would—hopefully—kill the Deep God through the connection it had with its fragment. Her lesser goal was to wipe out any traitorous factions that supported the Deep God, through any means necessary.
- Motivation: Marlene was raised knowing that her responsibility as a member of House Landry was to lead the Crusaders against the Deep God and protect the Golden Sword, mortal-kind's greatest weapon. Seeing her father and older brother sacrifice themselves to save the domes sharpened her hatred for all things related to the Deep God and its minions. Her plan to kill the Deep God is also fueled by desperation because she killed the people responsible for repairing the domes, dooming the protective barriers to eventually fail.
- Role in the Story: Ser Landry seems to be a minor character at first; she appears in the beginning of Hope's story-line before he is kidnapped. For the protagonists in the Black Knights, her presence is only felt through the laws and policies she gives the Crusader Order and the citizens of the domes. After Marian uses her power to stop the 23rd Incursion and Hope is found by the White Knights, Marlene begins to make increasingly insistent requests for custody of Marian. Finally she resorts to sending her Red Knights to abduct her, creating heavy collateral damage. This results in a civil war within the Order, and the breakdown of peace within the domes. Ironically, her transformation into a Pariah restored the Order's cohesion.
- Backstory:
Marlene grew up in House Landry's estate of Six Towers mostly neglected by her father, due to his position of Guardian-Knight. Instead it was her older brother Joel who raised Marlene, assisted by an army of servants and tutors. Under their instruction, she learned of the world and of the Pariahs who threatened it, along with their leader the Deep God. Despite Marlene's love of her brother, she was both hurt and envious of the attention her father lavished on him. When Godric wasn't busy he spent his time teaching Joel everything he knew.
When Marlene was 11, a Union Project Pariah appeared and penetrated the Southern Dome, and the 21st Incursion began. Godric called representatives from both the Crusaders and the Mages Guild to Six Towers and together they descended into the lower reaches of the castle. Marlene watched her father impale himself with the Golden Sword, transforming into a Hero. The 21st Incursion was ended at her father's hands, and he then died, passing the position of Guaridan-Knight to Joel.
14 years into Joel's reign, the 22nd Incursion happened. Marlene pleaded desperately with her brother not to do it, but Joel calmly told her that she was now the Guardian-Knight. Without further goodbyes, Joel took the power of the Sword. After his death, Marlene took the reins of Guardian-Knight filled with hatred for the Deep God and all that came from it. Her first priority became having a male heir to use in case of another Incursion, and she eventually married and had a child, Hope.
Marlene eventually became aware of a project by a dwarven mage named Drukon and his followers. Drukon intended to mount an expedition back underground to contact the Deep God directly and negotiate with it for the release of the dwarven homeland, the first casualty of the 1st Incursion. Though furious that they would do this without permission from the Order, Marlene was enthralled with the idea of seeing the Deep God in person—and killing it, once and for all. However the expedition went horribly wrong; the Deep God consumed Drukon’s human apprentice Anna, and produced a human infant at the site.
After Drukon revealed it to be a fragment of the Deep God, Marlene immediately wished to kill it, realizing that a blow to a “piece” of the creature may kill it for good. However Drukon refused and fled deep into the Underground. Marlene, furious and suspecting that his fellow dwarves had aided him, branded the dwarven race as Deep God sympathizers and attacked their lands with the full force of the Crusader Order. However not only did this fail to locate Drukon and the fragment of the Deep God, but resulted in the deaths of those with the knowledge to repair the domes that protected mortals from the Pariahs…
- Relevant Tropes
- Abusive Parents: Marlene certainly made sure Hope was healthy and wanted for nothing, but she took every opportunity she could to erode his sense of self-esteem and make sure he constantly second-guessed himself about what was right. She did this purposefully, so that when the time came to sacrifice him to the Golden Sword, he would offer little to no resistance to her plan. When Hope finally does reject her plans for him and smashes the Golden Sword into pieces, her reaction is to punch him in the face with her armored gauntlets and try to strangle him to death.
- Anti-Villain: Marlene is a brutal dictator who is willing to sacrifice her son and persecute and kill innocents on suspicion that they might be colluding with the Deep God, but she truly has mortal-kind's best interests at heart. She knows that she may have doomed everyone through her rash actions, and her plan to kill the Deep God forever is a desperate attempt to make things right.
- Attack Its Weak Point: The piece of the Golden Sword's blade acts like a weak point, and destroying it causes her entire Pariah form to disintegrate, killing her.
- Ax-Crazy: Like all Pariahs, all she is interested in doing is killing sentient mortals. However, Marlene demonstrates more intelligence than the average Pariah—after destroying Six Towers, she actively follows the Black Knight extraction team carrying Marian and repeatedly attempts to kill her. Whether this was Marlene retraining some cognizance or the Golden Sword's usual drive to kill all things Deep God related remains unknown.
- Bad Boss: Marlene is this to the Red Knights, down to the way she created the group. She took survivors of the dwarven massacres carried out by the Crusaders, and offered them a chance to rebuild their homeland within the domes, if they could prove themselves loyal to mortal-kind again. Proving themselves meant taking the finest warriors among them and forcibly augmenting them with Magitek "murder suits" and sending them to kill pretty much anyone she suspected of being a Deep God ally.
- Beat: After Hope shatters the Golden Sword by ramming it into the wall above Marian's head, there is a moment in which Marlene does nothing, merely standing there frozen in shock. The moment passes a second later and is replaced by seething, murderous rage.
- Big Bad Ensemble: She shares the villain spotlight with the Deep God worshiping rebels who caused the 23rd Incursion, and whatever force created the Pariahs and set them against mortals to begin with.
- Blown Across the Room: Hope uses his Expulsion magic to send her flying across the Empowerment Chamber to stop her from crushing his throat. The force of it is so strong that it sends her directly into the opposite wall, cracking it, and the impact is implied to have broken several ribs.
- Broken Tears: Marlene sheds these while making her way to the rapidly dissolving pieces of the Golden Sword while engaging in Inelegant Blubbering and begging it not to leave them without its power.
- Calling The Old Woman Out: After Hope throws Marlene back with his magic, he verbally blasts her for trying to coerce him into accepting a deadly power, and manipulate him into murdering the friend who saved him from his kidnappers and took him in. He even goes on to state that she is far more concerned about her plans than she is about him, and that she never saw him as a son as much as a piece of her strategy. The fact that she doesn't respond and instead frantically looks around at the disintegrating pieces of the Golden Sword sort of proves his point.
- Cold-Blooded Torture: To Drukon, the dwarven mage who, in a sense, "created" Marian. Marlene had him tortured for days, continually asking him what he had done with the Deep God's fragment, since infant Marian was not with him when was discovered. However he refused to break, and Marlene eventually killed him in a fit of temper when he insulted her.
- Conspiracy Theorist: The fact that the 21st and 22nd Incursions occurred in such rapid order led Marlene to believe that someone within the domes was actively trying to undermine mortal-kind's survival. To that end, she outlawed all non-Guild magic, upped the White Knight guards throughout the cities, and spread notices about possible conspiracies throughout the domed territories and encouraged people to report even the smallest suspicions to the nearest guard.
- Properly Paranoid: As it turned out, she was right. A rebel group bent on acquiring the power of the Deep God, and with knowledge about the Pariahs and how they work is responsible for the 23rd Incursion. However it may be a case of Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, since at least one of their members implies he was driven to the group by the Crusaders' persecution.
- Civil War: She caused one within the Crusader Order by sending her Red Knights to attack the Black Knights and abduct an individual who many saw as a hero of the 23rd Incursion. The fact that several of Marian's teammates died during the brutal attack only caused the pot to boil over and overt rebellion started.
- Creepy Blue Eyes: Marlene's eyes are described as "cold and watery", as if she's always on the verge of tears, which some find a little discomforting. They also happen to be blue.
- Death by Irony: The Golden Sword Marlene lauded as the hope and salvation of all mortals transforms anyone who isn't a male House Landry member into a Pariah if they try to synchronize with it. She learns this the hard way and is killed by the very same Order she has ruled over for years.
- Disproportionate Retribution: She painted the dwarves as minions of the Deep God, invaded their homeland and gutted their infrastructure because Drukon and his supporters refused to let her kill the fragment of the Deep God they harbored. Also doubles as Misplaced Retribution, since the majority of the dwarves weren't even aware of what Drukon was doing. However, since he was a member of their ruling council, she felt a deeper corruption was at work.
- Extra Eyes: Her Pariah has these scattered all over an otherwise featureless face.
- Freudian Excuse: Her father and brother were turned into powerful, handsome, and utterly emotionless killing machines by the Golden Sword before simply crumbling apart when it was through with them. She holds the Deep God responsible for their sacrifice, and her hatred for everything about it comes from this central point.
- Impaled Palm: When Marlene has Marian bound in the Empowerment Chamber of the temple beneath Six Towers the chains on Marian's arms end in spikes driven through her hands and into the stone floor. When Hope protests the treatment of his friend, Marlene irritably brushes it off.
- Inferiority Superiority Complex: Marlene realized long ago that the reason her father Godric barely paid her any mind was because only male Landrys can use the Golden Sword's powers. He wanted Joel to be as prepared as possible for that eventuality. The realization that she can never wield the Sword's powers in defense of her people eats away at her, and she mentions to Hope that her "job" is to provide a suitable candidate.
- Iron Lady
- Kaiju: Her Pariah form is the largest seen outside of a Union Project, the dreaded Pariah structures that signal an Incursion.
- Last Stand: Marlene forces the Red Knights into this after the civil war is won by the Black Knights. With only a battalion of dwarves in "murder suits" standing between her, Hope and Marian, she has them fight against the Black Knight forces in Six Towers underground vaults to buy time for the Golden Sword's ritual to be completed.
- Manipulative Bitch: The moment she figured out that Drukon hadn't told Marian of her origins, Marlene made sure to capitalize on that, playing up the horror of her "birth" and making her feel like a monster. It results in Marian's Freak Out and crossing the Despair Event Horizon as she realizes just how much of her life was a lie. It plays directly into Marlene's plans, since the Maid of the Underground was too frazzled to even think of escaping.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Marlene's attacks on the dwarves killed those who could repair the domes that protect everyone from the Pariahs. Even the instructions they left behind were destroyed in the mass burning and destruction of dwarven documents and structures. This is why she is so desperate to kill the Deep God before the domes fall and mortals are doomed.
- Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: The threat she posed as a Pariah forced the factions still distrustful of one another due to the civil war she caused to work together to end her.
- Not-So-Small Role: Marlene simply seemed to be Hope's mother and the background source of the orders given to the protagonists and the laws within the domes. But once Marian came to the spotlight by using her powers to turn away a Union Project and end the 23rd Incursion...
- One-Winged Angel: After Hope destroys the Golden Sword, Marlene desperately impales herself through the heart with a piece of its blade in an attempt to become the Hero. What happens instead is that she turns into a Pariah.
- Pride: Believes that her decisions and plans are infallible, because she is a member of House Landry, the guardians of mortal-kind. Even after she realized that her attack on the dwarves to punish them for concealing Marian from her had resulted in the inevitable decay of the domes, she shook it off and simply pushed forward with her countermeasures.
- Spare to the Throne: What she was. Since the Golden Sword can only be used by male members of the Landry family, she was viewed as a sort of backup in case Joel was called upon to make the ultimate sacrifice. The fact that she received the throne not only as a spare but through her beloved older brother's death grates on her.
- Wreathed in Flames: Her Pariah form burns with the Golden Sword's trademark white flames, incinerating anyone and anything that comes too close. .
edited 29th Oct '15 7:09:10 AM by Swordofknowledge
Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace
Regarding Marlene: bloody hell, what a b****.
No, seriously. She's a very good villain, with solid motivations and character, and her actions make her a Hate Sink, at least for me. It feels like when personal tragedies pushed her towards the Slippery Slope, she didn't as much slide as dived down it. I can understand why she ended up the way she did, but that doesn't make her very sympathetic. The way she manipulates Marian and Hope is well thought-out, the ending you planned for her is also very sutiable, quite a poetic justice.
A small aside note - Drukon the dwarf? *points at The Order of the Stick*
edited 29th Oct '15 9:39:02 AM by Kakai
Rejoice!
Totally agree with Kakai here! She really is a bi***. I'm pretty interested in what you have so far.
A small break from Archmage Reborn so I can post a character from a fantasy story idea I was thinking about.
During the First Incursion when the Pariahs made their appearance, the mortal races were pushed into a corner as whole kingdoms were laid waste by the powerful new enemies. When all seemed lost, a warrior named Samuel Landry came into possession of the Golden Sword under unknown circumstances. He claimed it was a gift from the High God to save mankind and then drove the blade through his own heart.
Rather than die, he was transformed into a powerful being, capable of pushing the Pariahs back. This gave mortals time to prepare the domes under which they now shelter. The Sword has been passed through his family for generations and whenever the Pariahs become too aggressive and numerous—an Incursion—one of their male members makes the ultimate sacrifice to become a Hero and lead the people against them, ushering in an era of temporary peace. The Landry family created an order of knights to protect the Golden Sword during its weak downtime, and maintain law and order within the dome territories. The Guardian-Knight, the head of the order, is always a Landry, and is charged with sheltering the Sword.
edited 19th Oct '15 6:41:25 PM by Swordofknowledge
Fear is a tyrant and a despot, more terrible than the rack, more potent than the snake. — Edgar Walllace