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Running with Scissors is the tenth studio album by "Weird Al" Yankovic, which was released in 1999. It was the first album in which "Weird Al" debuted his current glasses-free look.

Tracklist:

  1. "The Saga Begins"note 
  2. "My Baby's in Love with Eddie Vedder"
  3. "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi"note 
  4. "The Weird Al Show Theme"
  5. "Jerry Springer"note 
  6. "Germs"
  7. "Polka Power!"
  8. "Your Horoscope for Today"
  9. "It's All About the Pentiums"note 
  10. "Truck Drivin' Song"
  11. "Grapefruit Diet"note 
  12. "Albuquerque"


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  • Aerith and Bob: In "Albuquerque", the two sons, Nathaniel and Superfly.
  • All of Them: In "Jerry Springer": "Baby, I've been sleepin' with your sister." "Which one?" "All of 'em!"
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: At the end of "Germs":
    They're out to get me
    They wanna control me
    They wanna destroy me
    They're tryin' to kill me
  • Awesome, but Impractical: On the rare occasion he'll perform "Albuquerque," he saves it for the encore, as it wrecks his throat and makes it difficult for him to sing anything else afterward. Then again, could anything follow it up?
  • Badass Boast: "It's All About the Pentiums" is a great example of this coming from a hard-core computer nerd.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: The spoken interlude of "Jerry Springer" also mentions this. "That goat doesn't love you!"
  • Big Eater: The trope is both played straight and inverted with his song called "Grapefruit Diet", which is about needing to lose weight after eating a lot of food.
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  • Big Rock Ending: "Albuquerque" in a double subversion, with the burp subverting the big rock ending at first. If you listen closely at the end once the music stops, you can faintly hear Al's guitarist, Jim West, laughing over the extremely off-key note he finishes with.
  • Bilingual Bonus: "Pretty Fly for a Rabbi" uses Yiddish to make puns such as "The parents pay the mohel and he gets to keep the tip."
  • Brick Joke: After 11 minutes of insanity, the song "Albuquerque" finally winds its way back to the original point: AL...HATES...SAUERKRAUT!.
  • The Cameo: Drew Carey and Emo Philips show up in the video for "It's All About the Pentiums".
  • Captain Obvious:
    • In "Albuquerque," while flesh-eating weasels are assaulting Al's face, he meets a girl, who says "Hey. You've got weasels on your face."
    • The predictions in "Your Horoscope for Today" that don't fall under Refuge in Audacity are this, but the biggest offender is "The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep."
  • Careful with That Axe: "Albuquerque", but a box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels will do that.
  • Casual Danger Dialog: The titular "Germs" want to control him! They want to destroy him! They're trying to kill him! It kind of upsets him.
  • Cheek Copy: "Your Horoscope For Today" offers Leos the following advice: "Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss' face, oh no!" Which leaves the question of whether there is a good time to do so.
  • Couch Gag: What Al calls the last song listed in the polka medley. This album is the first to start that tradition (all previous albums listed it as the "Ear Booker Polka", but he changed it beginning with this one for "accounting reasons", according to one of his Ask Al online Q&As).
  • Department of Redundancy Department: From "Albuquerque": "Hey! You can't have that! That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!"
  • Destination Defenestration: The narrator of "Your Horoscope for Today" tells Scorpios to "Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window."
  • Does Not Like Spam: The narrator of "Albuquerque" is quite vocal about his hatred of sauerkraut.
  • Does Not Understand Sarcasm: The narrator in "Albuquerque" sees his friend Marty trying to carry a full-sized sofa up a set of stairs, and asks if he needs any help:
    And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and says, "Naw, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chainsaw!" [beat] So I did.
  • Epic Rocking: "Albuquerque." Emphasis on "epic". Although it also borders on Ending Fatigue.
  • Face on the Cover: "Weird Al" in track gear running a marathon while holding scissors in each hand.
  • Filk Song: "The Saga Begins" is this for The Phantom Menace.
  • Food Songs Are Funny: "Grapefruit Diet".
  • Getting Crap Past the Radar:
    • The singer of "Truck Drivin' Song" mentions wearing nipple rings and crotchless panties.
    • Jerry Springer includes a skit where a bickering couple reveals their infidelities to each other, starting with sisters and the best friend, and quickly into them sleeping with each others' pets.
  • Hypocritical Humor: The narrator of "Albuquerque" meets, falls in love with, dates, marries, moves in with and has children with a woman without a moment's notice. As soon as she asks if he wants to join the Columbia Records Club, he divorces her because he's "just not ready for that kind of a commitment."
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Impalement is mentioned twice in "Your Horoscope for Today."
    (Gemini) Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest
    (Virgo) Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled on a stick!
  • Infant Immortality: Averted in "Albuquerque".
    "You know, I'd never been on a real airplane before ... And the little kid in back of me kept throwin' up the whole time ... And, oh yeah, three of the airplane engines burned out / And we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside / And the plane exploded in a giant fireball / and everybody died"
  • Insistent Terminology: The liner notes list The Saga Begins as a Lyrical adaption, not a parody, of Don McLean's American Pie.
  • In the Style of...
    • "My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder" - Zydeco genre
    • "Germs" - Nine Inch Nails
    • "Your Horoscope For Today" - Third Wave Ska
    • "Truck Drivin' Song" - Truck driving country
    • "Albuquerque" - The Rugburns (specifically "Dick's Automotive")
  • Jerkass: The narrator of "Your Horoscope for Today" is openly insulting and rude to the people whose future he's predicting:
    You will never find true happiness! What you gonna do, cry about it?
    All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent... except for you!
    A big promotion is just around the corner... for someone much more talented than you!
    Work a little bit harder to improve your self-esteem, you stupid freak!
    The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying! If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never, never, never, never, never leave my house again!
  • Karma Houdini: The guy with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and one nostril manages to get away with the snorkel, and apparently gets no comeuppance for it, in spite of Al vowing to bring him to justice and the passage of time.
  • Literal Metaphor: On "Jerry Springer", that bitch Woofie really is a female dog.
  • Location Song: "Albuquerque" is a parody song describing "Weird Al" Yankovic's fictional lifestory in this city.
  • Longest Song Goes Last: The album ends with "Albuquerque" (11:23)
  • Lyrical Cold Open: "The Saga Begins".
  • A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far Far Away...: "The Saga Begins" starts off with this, spoofing the original song's opening line "A long, long time ago/I can still remember..."
  • Medley: "Polka Power!" Songs featured, in order:
  • Meet Cute: Parodied in "Albuquerque." Al meets the girl of his dreams, while being mauled by starving crazed weasels that he inexplicably bought at a donut shop. They immediately become a couple.
  • Mood Whiplash: The Nine Inch Nails style parody "Germs" is followed by an intensely happy polka (the first track in the medley being the Spice Girls, for crying out loud). Mood Whiplash at its finest, folks.
  • Motor Mouth: In the middle of "Your Horoscope for Today," all in one breath:
    Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely that the relative position
    of the planets and the stars could have a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
    but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence,
    so you would have to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.
    Where was I?
    • Taken Up to Eleven with the first verse of the theme song for The Weird Al Show. It's not only a Patter Song, it's a run-on sentence!
  • Mundane Made Awesome: We present to you the tale of his trip to Albuquerque.
  • Nerdcore: "It's All About The Pentiums" is widely credited as the first "official" song of this genre.
  • Nose Shove: The narrator of "Your Horoscope for Today" advises Cancers against shoving a roll of duct tape up their noses while taking a driving test.
  • One-Man Song: "My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder".
  • Overly Long Gag: He wrote "Albuquerque" because he wanted to annoy people for 12 minutes straight. The extended version he uses for live performances takes this Up to Eleven with a much larger list of pastries in the donut shop scene. Sometimes he even starts the song over from the beginning just before the finale.
  • Precision F-Strike: In "Jerry Springer"; appropriately, Yankovic himself doesn't use the word, but guest vocalist Tress MacNeille does during a portion of the song parodying a typical episode of the show:
    Tress MacNeille: Woofie, you bi[ineffectual bleep]tch!
    • ...and even then it's a pun, because Woofie literally is a bitch.
  • Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: "I! HATE! SAUERKRAUT!"
  • Random Events Plot: "Albuquerque."
  • Rap Rock: "It's All About The Pentiums," which spoofs the rock remix of "It's All About The Benjamins."
  • Record Producer: "Weird Al" Yankovic.
  • Runs with Scissors: "Weird Al" on the cover.
  • Sanity Slippage: Albuquerque follows a man who gradually loses his mind after escaping a Hilariously Abusive Childhood and being the sole survivor of a horrific plane crash, then killing about two people.
  • Shaped Like Itself: "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!" Doubles as a Shout-Out to Cheech and Chong.
  • Shout-Out:
    • This album has two shout-outs to Monty Python. "The Truck Drivin' Song" is one to "The Lumberjack Song" (both are about a man in a masculine occupation who likes to dress in ladies' clothing) and "Albuquerque" has a donuts shop that has no donuts (referencing the "Cheese Shop" sketch).
    • "Albuquerque" also features a reference to the Cheech and Chong song "Basketball Jones" with the line "That snorkel's been just like a snorkel to me!" (the original line being "That basketball was just like a basketball to me!").
    • The dance scene in the video for "The Saga Begins" has some dancers mimicking moves from Pulp Fiction.
  • Shown Their Work: Would you believe that Al wrote "The Saga Begins" before The Phantom Menace was released? He got all of his information off of fan websites (something you needed serious nerd cred to do in 1999), insider sources and the tie-in novelization, but the accuracy is so impeccable that you couldn't tell. He even attended an expensive pre-screening for charity to ensure accuracy and only had to make a couple of changes.
  • Spelling Song: Spoofed.
    A! A! L! L! B! B! U! U!
    Beat
    Beat
    Querque!
    Querque!
  • Stealth Pun
    • At the end of "Polka Power" Weird Al segues from the song "Closing Time" to a line, "take us home!" In music, this refers to wrapping up the song, which is what happens next.
    • Also, "Woofie, you b*tch!" Woofie is a female dog!
  • Take That!: "My Baby's In Love With Eddie Vedder" is more sarcastic than harsh, and Al even apologizes in the liner notes.
  • Terrified of Germs: The singer of "Germs" vividly describes his fear of them.
  • Tongue on the Flagpole: "Your Horoscope For Today" features a variant.
    Aquarius: There's travel in your future
    When your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus!
  • Trivially Obvious: Used in "Your Horoscope for Today" to parody the overly-vague predictions of actual horoscopes.
    The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.
  • Truck Driver's Gear Change: Appropriately used near the end of "Truck Driving Song".
  • Voice of the Legion: On "Your Horoscope For Today" when Al tells Sagittariuses that all their friends are laughing at them behind their back.
    Kill them...
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: We never do find out if Al got his snorkel back or not in "Albuquerque", or what happened to the hermaphrodite man with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and one nostril.
  • Yiddish as a Second Language: "Pretty Fly For A Rabbi".
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