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She calls me...note 
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The Vampair is a series of Web Animation made by Daria Cohen, which centers around the cat-and-mouse conflict between Missi and Duke (pictured on the right). Missi was an avid reader who snuck into the mansion of The Duke of Vaults (also pictured on the right), a powerful vampire.

The first short, "The Night," was released in 2016 as a graduation film for the Skenkar School of Design and Engineering. Missi has a fateful encounter with Duke when she decides to slip into his mansion to read a book one eerie night, and a major game of cat-and-mouse ensues. This ultimately results in Duke's seeming demise, and Missi being possessed by his magical cane, all set to the tune of Voltaire's "The Night."

The short was highly acclaimed, and a sequel came out the following year, giving a short detail of Duke's situation after being killed, all to the tune of another Voltaire song, "The Land of the Dead."

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Early in 2018 a third short titled "The Resurrection" sets in motion the feud between the two vampires, set, not to another Voltaire track, but to Lily Allen's "Fuck You", with Missi taking up the vocals.

This was then supplemented later in 2018 with a mini-episode. At 49 seconds part 3.5 uses Voltaire's short song "Owee" as The Duke looks inward to Missi in what was once his own home.

On January second the fourth episode was released, "The Silent". Another episode where Missi takes the lead with the Tragic Tantrum song of the same name. In this, we catch a glimpse towards Missi's descent into madness. We also see her revert to her true form once more, before she returns to evil upon seeing The Duke outside.

The shorts can be viewed here (1), here (2),here (3), here (3.5), and here (4)


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Tropes that appear in these shorts:

  • Action Survivor: Missi in the first video.
  • All There in the Manual: A lot of information about the characters has come from online comments and live streams.
  • Always Night: With the exception of the Light of Dawn which kills Duke, every scene in the series takes place at night.
  • Artifact of Doom: The Duke’s Staff is a Magic Staff that grants its wielder a variety of magical powers, including conjuring flame, bringing inanimate objects to life, restraining people, conjuring clothes and firing blasts from it. It also seems to be cursed, turning its owner into a vampire as it did to Missi.
  • Aside Glance: Duke has the power to break the fourth wall. He is the only one to do this so far even after Missi gains her own vampire powers.
  • Attempted Rape: Towards the end of The Night, it seems like this from Missi's perspective. But one thing that should be noticed is that Duke never makes a full sexual advance until after Missi begins her seduction ploy. Word of God has confirmed that Duke really thought Missi was willing.
  • Bisexual Vampire: This is a general vampire trait in this world. Missi is bi while under the influence of the cane, but without it she’s straight. During Duke's early years as a vampire, he was also bisexual and is now canonically pansexual.
  • Black and Grey Morality: The conflict that's kicked off as of "The Resurrection" is between the Obviously Evil Duke and the now-vampire Missi, aka Missi Spiderwebs, who is equally evil. However, Missi was originally just a normal girl who happened to wander into the mansion and was subjected to a game of cat and mouse with an immortal vampire, only managing to kill him through a fortunate case of Cue the Sun. Had Duke left her alone, she never would've obtained his cane.
  • Brought Down to Badass: While the Duke is easily curb stomped by Missi without his staff, he is no wimp without it. After all, he was able to conquer the Underworld without it. Word of God even confirms that without his staff he is still a vampire and thus has powers of his own.
  • Building of Adventure: The isolated vampire castle which serves as the main setting of the series and the habitat of both protagonists. With the exception of Land of the Dead (which mostly takes place in the Greek Underworld), every scene takes place within the castle's room or (in exterior scenes) at a short distance from its door and windows. Due to the two vampire's spells, some of the rooms and stairs have changed appearance (and Missi redecorated the dungeon) but it is always the same building.
  • Bullying a Dragon: According to Word of God, even with the cane Missi Spiderwebs still isn't as powerful as Duke. She just caught him off guard.
  • Butt-Monkey: Duke is forced into this role in "The Resurrection" after being brought back from the dead. Absolutely nothing goes right for him.
  • The Cameo: Voltaire's songs are already used for the majority of the animations, but "The Resurrection" reveals that he's the Duke's father! Similarly, a few other non-musical animations featuring Duke speaking will use voice clips from the man himself!
  • Casting a Shadow: Seemingly one of the powers of the staff. Duke uses some kind of shadow form to chase Missi in "The Night", while Missi uses it to throw Duke through several doors in "The Resurrection".
  • Chekhov's Gun: The key holding Duke's cape together is what lets him back into his castle after Missi throws him out.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: Missi hits Duke with a major prolonged one in The Resurrection by virtue of the song choice.
    • Then there’s Chapter 3.5 which uses the word bitch three times in twenty seconds.
  • The Corruption: Duke's cane is confirmed by Word of God to infect anyone who wields it with both immense power and an overwhelming desire to do evil. Chapter 4 shows us just how much it’s messing with Missi’s mind.
  • Cue the Rain: When Duke is thrown out of the castle he formerly owned, it immediately starts raining. Possibly due to Missi Spiderwebs' use of magic.
  • Date Rape Averted: Missi was able to kill the Duke before he made it to third base.
  • Death Glare: Vampire!Missi gives extremely potent ones in "The Resurrection," helped by her piercing red eyes.
  • Depraved Bisexual: Word of Gay claims that the Duke is attracted to both sexes, but in different ways.
    Daria: Women are for fucking, men are for sucking.
    • It also claims that Missi was originally straight, only to become bisexual after becoming a vampire, implying that it is a side-effect of the staff.
  • Determinator: Even before being corrupted, Missi gives this variant of a Death Glare when she hatches a plan to kill the Duke.
  • Expy: The Duke is obviously a play on Count Dracula.
  • Fangs Are Evil: Before being corrupted by Duke's staff, Missi is a normal woman. After? She sports a nice set of chompers. Duke Zigzags this, as while he's clearly amoral, he seems more mischievous than malicious.
  • Flipping the Bird: Missi does this subtly while tapping the piano keys in the third video.
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus: There are so many little details in these videos. It helps to rewatch the animation at a slower speed. In the first thirty seconds alone of The Night, Missi is reading Twilight, with real text from the book, and Duke is changing in front of a mirror despite not having a reflection.
  • Freudian Excuse: It is implied by Missi that the Duke is evil because of his father.
  • The Glasses Gotta Go/The Glasses Come Off: In the first video, Missi wears Nerd Glasses when reading her book. After meeting her, Duke's first actions are to destroy her book, make her glasses magically disappear, and give her a make-over to match his ideas about femininity. Since then, the vampire transformation and power-upgrade of Missi have apparently fixed her eyesight, and she no longer needs glasses to read. In the teaser episode "Oweee", Missi casually reads another book while Duke stares at her from a glass window. She has no problem reading without her glasses and glances towards Duke; watching him from a distance. The bookworm is now a badass but is still a bookworm.
  • Graceful Ladies Like Purple: Missi, the young and graceful fledgling vampire lady has purple hair and purple clothes.
  • Hartman Hips: Downplayed but in "The Silent", Missi is briefly seen in a silky nightie that hugs her figure and it's evident that she has some junk in her trunk.
  • Hell of a Time: Land of the Dead. Full stop.
  • Honey Trap: How Missi ultimately overcomes Duke in the first video. During their one-sided dance, she spots light peering through a curtain in the hallway they're in and proceeds to play along with his dancing, even giving sultry facial expressions to lure him over to the curtain, and let his guard down. Once she has an opportunity to grab it, she yanks the curtain rope down, and causes light to flood the hallway, and then knocks Duke into it with his cane, frying the elder vampire.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Missi's full height may be 5’7” but she still barely reaches Duke's chest area. Amusingly Missi still weighs more then Duke does.
  • Humiliation Conga: Duke is subjected to one by Missi in "The Resurrection." He's first taunted with the fact that his cane is now in the hands of his former victim and is given either a Groin Attack or an Ass Shove when he tries to take it back, he's then kicked down a pit where Missi proceeds to show off just how much control over the cane's power she now has, taunting him all the while, and when he tries to leave she creates a giant shadow construct that plows him through several doors, throwing him down a flight of stairs to the entrance where she personally kicks him out of his own mansion and taunts him one last time before slamming the door in his face and knocking him on his ass. To add insult to injury, it immediately starts raining right after which may or may not also be Missi's doing.
  • I Hate You, Vampire Dad: Implied to be the case with Missi (or at least part of it).
  • Ink-Suit Actor: Duke's appearance was based on Aurelio Voltaire (specifically him circa the album BOO HOO), among other sources.
  • Ironic Echo: Missi mirrors a lot of Duke's moves from "The Night" when she's screwing with him in "The Resurrection."
  • Kick the Son of a Bitch: After being toyed with and made a victim in "The Night", Missi enacts vengeance against the Duke in "Chapter 3: Resurrection/ A.K.A: Fuck You", where she resurrects him only to beat him around with his own Magic Staff all over the place before evicting him out into the rain from his own castle.
  • The Last of These Is Not Like the Others: "The Night" is set to the tune of Voltaire's "The Night." "Land of the Dead" is set to the tune of Voltaire's "Land of the Dead." Meanwhile, "The Resurrection" is set to the tune of Lily Allen's "Fuck You", and is sung by Missi, as opposed to Duke.
  • Masculine Lines, Feminine Curves: Duke is drawn with a lot of long lines while Missi is drawn with a lot of round shapes to show the contrast between them.
  • Mickey Mousing: Duke does this a lot when he's singing. His Noodle People anatomy only furthers this, as he's often bouncing around and slinking across the screen in rhythm to the songs. Missi bounces and sways to the rhythm too when it's her turn. It's a wonder if that's a side-effect of the cane's power...
  • Milking the Giant Cow: Justified. Duke is a vampire and a man of nobility as a result. He's prone to making these sorts of gestures when speaking, as shown in some of the animation tests Daria has done, and when he's singing, he performs.
  • Minimalist Cast: The original short features only Duke and Missi, with no other characters. The second short features mostly Duke, with silent cameos from various creatures of the Greek Underworld, and Missi appearing in a single scene (on her own). The third film is back to featuring Duke and Missi, with the only other characters being magically-animated gargoyles. Other than the two protagonists, and Missi’s new cat Minose, the series so far has no other recurring characters and no named characters either. The protagonists barely interact with anyone else.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Downplayed. Missi ends up getting a brothel dress within a minute of her experience with Duke, and sports it from then on. And boy does she sport it well! But it's partly from magic, and more a case of She Cleans Up Nicely than anything.
  • Mysterious Past: While Duke seems to be the elder of the two vampires, there is little to no mention of his past, other than a mention of his father who looks like and may very well be Aurelio Voltaire. How he acquired the mystical staff and the mansion is not explained. Even less has been explained about Missi's past and why she started out by seeking refuge in an abandoned mansion at nighttime. She was carrying a schoolbag, which hints that she may have been a schoolgirl, but nothing else is known about her background, other than a prior interest in vampires, given the book she had with her.
  • Noodle People: Duke is exceedingly tall, and his lankiness shows as a result. A lot of his Mickey Mousing involves him bouncing his shoulders and wiggling his body in place.
  • Our Vampires Are Different: Getting possessed by dark magic can turn you into one. However, this doesn’t turn Missi into a full vampire since casting the cane away turned her back to normal. There’s also the fact that sunlight won’t kill her, but it does hurt like Hell for her. In addition, she doesn’t need to sleep in a coffin and seems to still have her reflection unlike Duke.
  • People Puppets: Duke puts Missi on marionette strings when they first meet. She breaks free.
  • Pointy Ears: Both Duke and Missi have prominent (and rather long) pointy ears in their vampire forms.
  • Purple Is Powerful: Missi's power upgrade from human to powerful vampire and magic user is combined with a change of hair color (from Brown to Purple), and change of clothes from jeans to a purple dress.
  • Purple Is the New Black: Missi’s whole color scheme as a vampire.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: The entirety of “The Resurrection” is Missi giving a musical one to Duke, before throwing him out of his own house.
  • Red and Black and Evil All Over: The Duke’s color scheme.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Duke has glowing red eyes. Missi gains them too after being corrupted. Even the cane has them.
  • Sanity Slippage: "The Silent" shows that Missi seems to be going through this. Seemingly reveling in her powers, she messes around with some newfound little bug-like monsters that continuously try to eat her alive. However, them and what seems to be Duke's shadow continuously seem to be unnerving her throughout the video. Eventually, she's almost eaten from the inside out by the bugs, leading her to throw the Staff away in fear, turning her human again, which also causes the bugs to disappear. However, after seeing Duke outside, she rushes back and reclaims the staff, turning into a vampire again.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: In "The Resurrection," after Duke sees how well Missi has acclimated to his cane's powers he decides he's had enough and promptly turns and leaves the room. Unfortunately for him, Missi has no intention of letting him go that easily.
  • She Cleans Up Nicely: Missi, while not homely in her ordinary clothes, looks extremely plain. When Duke transforms her clothes into a brothel dress, however, decking her out with makeup, and so on, she looks like a completely different person.
  • Ship Tease: Daria has been wholeheartedly encouraging the Duke X Missi shippers. When flat out asked if Missi likes Duke her response as of Chapter 3 was “Not at the moment, no.”
  • Shout-Out: Voltaire gets a lot of love, as two of his songs are used for the shorts, and even when his songs don't show up in the third short, he still appears as a painting of himself!
  • Slasher Smile: When first corrupted by the cane, Missi sports one of these. In The Stinger of "Land of the Dead" Missi is shown sporting one again while reading a spell book on resurrections. In "The Resurrection" itself, she downgrades them to smug smiles, representing her adaptation to the cane's power.
  • Sliding Scale of Vampire Friendliness: Despite both vampires being malicious and rather sadistic, their actions so far are not particularly monstrous. They briefly drink glasses with red liquid (probably blood), but they have not exhibited any cravings for it, have never been depicted hunting or killing their prey to get to the blood, and seem content with spending each night in the castle to which they have both laid claim on. They have twice faced each other in a struggle for dominance, but they have not so far threatened or victimized anyone else. They are not eager to recruit more vampires, and (given their track record so far) may see any other vampire as a rival to their power. They both behave like Smug Supers and make it a point to smugly demonstrate their superiority to their chosen rival/opponent, but don't seem to care about anyone or anything else in their world, and don't cause trouble to others. Neither of them looks human anymore, but they remain attractive-looking humanoids.
  • Smug Smiler: When Vampire!Missi isn't throwing a Death Glare or Slasher Smile your way, she is doing this.
  • Spell My Name with a "The": Duke's full name is The Duke of Vaults and many fans refer to him as The Duke.
  • Stupid Evil: The Duke was very easily fooled by Missi, not suspecting a thing when the girl switches from frightened to being into his advances and getting seduced instantly.
  • Tempting Fate: Duke singing about how much power he has in the underworld and how no one can take it from him. Missi Spiderwebs rises to the challenge.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Missi in The Night. An explanation for her choosing an abandoned mansion to read her book in has not yet been given.
    • The Duke was a more literal example since his lack of suspicion got him fried.
  • Undeathly Pallor: The skin color of Duke and Missi in their vampire forms is chalk-white.
  • Who's Laughing Now?: In "The Resurrection," Missi has learned how to effectively use Duke's staff, and uses it to assume control of his mansion, even resurrecting the guy just to deny him the joys of living in the underworld.
  • Weakened by the Light: In classic vampiric fashion, Missi kills Duke at the end of the first short by pulling open the curtains in the hallway, thus causing all the sunlight to shine in. Apparently, she was then stuck in that shadowed corner for the rest of the day.
  • You Kill It, You Bought It: Seconds after killing Duke, Missi acquires his vampire powers, his magical staff (and associated powers), a similarly malicious personality, and implicitly the ownership of the vampire castle.
 
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Video Example(s):

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Melissa distracts The Duke

Melissa manages to outwit the Duke by pretending to give in to his advances.

How well does it match the trope?

4.5 (2 votes)

Example of:

Main / DistractedByTheSexy

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Main / DistractedByTheSexy

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