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Quotes / Screw the Rules, I Have Money!

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Impunity, n.
Wealth.

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    Anime and Manga 
"Think of it this way, Battousai. If you have enough money, then you have in your possession more power than any sword can possibly ever give you."
Kanryu, Rurouni Kenshin
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    Blogs 
Superman: You know children aren't toys, right?
Batman: When you're as rich as me, everything's a toy, Clark.

    Film — Animated 
"I'm sorry, but she's rich and will probably get nothing more than a slap on the wrist."
Violet Parr, Incredibles 2

"You and I both know the real power in this world ain't magic. It's MONEY! Buckets of it."
Doctor Facilier, The Princess and the Frog

    Film — Live-Action 
"I am no 'gentleman,' no, but I have money."

"Control the cash-box, and you control the world."
Mr. Jorkin, A Christmas Carol (1951 film)

Margaret: The grand jury. What do you intend to do about them?
Terry Silver: Bribe them as usual.
Margaret: Mister Silver!
Terry: Lighten up, Margaret. Who's the D.A. on the case?
Margaret: Mr. Cole.
Terry: Oh, good. Let's invite Willie to dinner Tuesday night, and let's make sure we have his favorite—what is it? Poached salmon.

Dwight Dickham: $40 million in the bank, one dead prostitute? By God, you're good. Best verdict money can buy.
Hank Palmer: Everybody wants Atticus Finch 'til there's a dead hooker in a hot tub.
Dickham: There's your bumper sticker.

Harbormaster: Hold up there, you. It's a shilling to tie up your boat at the dock... and I shall need to know your name.
Jack Sparrow: What do you say to three shillings and we forget the name.
Harbormaster: Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. Smith.

Beckett: No doubt you've discovered that loyalty is no longer the currency of the realm, as your father believes.
Elizabeth: Then what is?
Beckett: I'm afraid currency is the currency of the realm.

"Bick, you shoulda shot that fella a long time ago. Now he's too rich to kill."
Uncle Bawley of Jett Rink, Giant

Eddie: How did that gargoyle get to be a Judge?!
Santino: Spread a bunch of simoleons around Toontown a couple of years back back, bought the election.

Joe Moore: (accepts change) Makes the world go round.
Bobby Blane: What's that?
Joe: Gold.
Bobby: Some people say "love."
Joe Well, they're right, too. It is love. Love of gold.

Tony Hoyle: Let the law take these guys down. You know, sometimes the law works.
Paul Kersey: And sometimes it doesn't! These people, they steal, they murder, they destroy people's lives and get away with it! They have alibis, money, lawyers, power. They have everything.

Strannix: What are you gonna do when you get two hundred million dollars in the bank?
Commander Krill: Buy the presidency!

There are many things you'll never understand. This is one of them. [Holding a stack of dollars while looking at Frank's drawn gun] You see, Frank, there are many kinds of weapons. And the only one that can stop that is this. Now, shall we get back to our little problem?

Arthur: But you'd have to buy out the entire cabin. And the First Class flight attendant.
Saito: I bought the airline. It seemed neater.

    Literature 

"For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows."
Paul, 1 Timothy 6:10 (KJV)

"Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me. They possess and enjoy early, and it does something to them, makes them soft where we are hard, and cynical where we are trustful, in a way that, unless you were born rich, it is very difficult to understand. They think, deep in their hearts, that they are better than we are because we had to discover the compensations and refuges of life for ourselves. Even when they enter deep into our world or sink below us, they still think that they are better than we are. They are different."
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Rich Boy

"The very rich can afford to give offense wherever they go."
Elizabeth Bennett, Pride and Prejudice

"Crime is for poor people. You don't have to rob a bank when you own it."

"Whose peace do the Goldcloaks enforce when the Hand proclaims one king and the Queen other? The man who pays them."
Petyr "Littlefinger" Baelish, A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones

Ian rolled his eyes. Laws were for poor people.
Operation Trinity, The 39 Clues

"Justice is expensive. That is why there is so little of it, and it is reserved for those few with enough money and influence to afford it."
Tenzing Tharkay, Temeraire

    Live-Action TV 
Helena: I'm quite happy to finish my time and pay my debt to society.
Peggy Peabody: Helena, for God's sake, pull yourself together. You're a Peabody.
Helena: What difference does that make?
Peggy Peabody: Peabodys don't have "debts," darling. Not to anyone. And certainly not to society.
The L Word, "Lady of the Lake"

Abbie Carmichael: The laws for the rich are different.
Jack McCoy: What laws for the rich?

Chloe: Perry "The Pit Bull" White backing off a story? That's hard to believe.
Perry: Well, Lionel Luthor can be remarkably persuasive.
Chloe: Are you saying he had something to do with your career slide?
Perry: Let's just say that not everyone respects good investigative journalism. Especially when it treads on the toes of the rich and vengeful.
Smallville, "Perry"

Chuck Rhoades: Walk away.
Bobby Axelrod: I should. But then again, what's the point of having "fuck-you money" if you never say "fuck you"?
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    Music 

Money, money, money
Must be funny
In the rich man's world
Money, money, money
Always sunny
In the rich man's world"
— "Money, Money, Money", Abba

For the love of money
People will steal from their mother
For the love of money
People will rob their own brother
For the love of money
People can't even walk the street
Because they never know
Who in the world they're gonna beat
For that lean, mean, mean green
Almighty dollar, that's money
— "For the Love of Money", The O'Jays

Recruited by the NSA, my orders to talk smooth and straight
If heads of state try to say "No", I lovingly told them "Fuck you!"
— "Confessions of an Economic Hitman", Anti-Flag

    Professional Wrestling 

Everybody's got a price
Everybody's gonna pay
'Cause the Million Dollar Man
Always gets his way!
Some may cost a little
Some may cost a lot
But I'm the Million Dollar Man
And you will be bought!
DYAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Roleplay 
"The thing is that where I'm from, laws favored the rich and business savvy. The Corporate Dispute Zone don't favor the lower class that much."
Kaitlyn, We Are Our Avatars

    Tabletop Games 
The investment of millions in successful political campaigns comes back as tens of millions when helpful or defanged legislation gets passed. In truth, that aspect of the operation is so much a given that it practically runs on rails.
Werewolf: The Apocalypse - Subsidiaries: A Guide To Pentex

Money is the integral element of society, the one commonality that connects every individual. It's so commonplace that many people will, as they tend to do with any omnipresent part of life, dismiss it. "It's only money," they say. "It's simply a way to buy things." But it's never "only" money. Money is status. Money is power. It is the freedom to buy and sell - and do - whatever one wants. People may delude themselves into believing that other things are more important: love, family, reputation. But when the bills come due, money takes center stage.
Mage: The Ascension - Convention Book: Syndicate

    Theatre 
I follow the Golden Rule
How can a man resist?
When the gold in his hand
Lets him rule the land
With an iron fist!
— "The Golden Rule (Dark Reprise)", Twisted

And it's very very funny
When you've lots and lots of money
To be horrible to those with none
The Chorus of the New York Upper Crust, Anna Russell's How to Make your Own Gilbert and Sullivan Opera

"Without money, nobody likes or trusts you. But to have money is to be virtuous, beautiful, honest and witty. To have none is to be ugly, and boring, and stupid, and useless."
Ragpicker, The Madwoman of Chaillot

When I think of the good things that life has to give,
I'm reluctantly forced to agree
That the number of people who know how to live
Is restricted, quite simply, to me.

For life is like cricket: we play by the rules
But the secret which few people know,
Which keep men of class well apart from the fools
Is to think up the rules as you go.
Sir, The Roar of the Greasepaint—The Smell of the Crowd, "Things to Remember"

♫ Every time a high-priced mouthpiece starts to talk,
His client gets to walk.
Tell me where is the justice?
If there's any justice. ♫
Light, Death Note: The Musical, "Where is the Justice?"
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    Video Games 
"Fuck you! I shoot money!"

"I've got so much money, even Batman won't be able to stop us!"
Simon Stagg, Batman: Arkham Knight

"Because, frankly, I'm rich enough to do whatever the fuck I want, and you're poor enough not to ask me any goddamn stupid questions."
Devin Weston', Grand Theft Auto V

"Ah, money, money, money! The great motivator! There is simply no better way to move men - and expedite plans - than with its alluring glint, would you not agree?"
Fandaniel, Final Fantasy XIV

    Web Animation 
"Ceramite is not a metal, but with sufficient money, you, too, can break laws, even those of reality!"

    Webcomics 
"Objection! The jury will note that my client is a wealthy celebrity!"

"After all, Papi's super rich. I bet he can pay some people off. I think you can solve most things that way."
Steffi, Kiwi Blitz

    Web Original 
The needs of the money outweigh the needs of you.

A country whose people resemble The Beverly Hillbillies: people who have no class, culture, or civility but happen upon large amounts of black gold. The profits of this are then used on flashy expenditures in order to create a pretense of civility among other peoples who are actually civilized.

It would be an entirely different scandal — and one Cameron probably could not politically survive — if he’d fucked a dog or Boris Johnson. Even a sheep wouldn’t quite work; sheepfucking is firmly a poor person’s bestiality. No, it was clearly a pig or nothing.

"Your Holiness," he grunted, upending the sack he held and pouring a massive pile of florins onto the desk, "You have no problem with the Scottish Empire."

And Alferius, well known for his rather "uncatholic" tastes, stared at the money for only a few seconds before saying, "I have no problem with the Scottish Empire."

Organized greed always defeats disorganized democracy.
Matt Taibbi

I thought that getting caught on tape trespassing on your neighbor’s property and covering their house with breakfast foods while acting like a total piece of human garbage would be the kind of thing you do a bit of time for, but I guess Lady Justice just does not give a fuck. Bitch probably pawned her sword and a scale for an 8-ball and a bottle of vodka. Every day is like 2-for-1 Margarita Hour at Baja Sharkeez for Lady Justice now. I’m sure you can find her every night at the club wearing her blindfold as a tube-top and working under the name Lady Just-A$$. "I sentence you to a good time! WOOO!"

The “Secret Forest Grotto,” that’s what they’re calling it, is appropriately named, because if you’re not already knee-deep in green paper, you’re officially poor enough to wonder what the inside looks like. Green 2 Tier status is a loyalty program that is achieved if you’ve spent £2,000, or $2,566 USD, between January 1st and August 26th. If you’re lucky enough to qualify, you must then pay £20 (or $25) per child to get in. The Secret Forest Grotto is fully booked. Oh, but don’t worry Oliver Twist, Charlie Bucket, and the rest of the London poors – you might be lucky enough to win one of 160 “low-income family” passes to the Grotto. After receiving many complaints about how the Secret Forest Grotto seemed elitist, Harrods decided to host 160 deserving families. However, 96% of the available timeslots will still reportedly go to the wealthy kids.
DListed, "Harrods Santa is Not for the Poors"

So now you know. The next a cop pulls you over for speeding on meth with a cage of smuggled Peruvian lizards in your trunk, slip that cop a cool $92 million and you'll be on your way.
Drew Magary, "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Cleveland Browns"

As the nation's current top idol she was able to save a large sum of money and literally bought the producer... Hentai logic, right?
— A list of hentai manga synopses

    Web Video 
"I'm incredibly rich, so no one will think of pressing charges."

"It's a shame rich megalomaniacs are immune from the law. Otherwise, we could just call the police."
Yugi, Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series

Malcolm: Hey whoa whoa hold on a sec. You want me to go BACK to an island with dinosaurs? Have you seen Jurassic Park? Na na na, dat's OK, you deal with that yourself.
Hammond: Hey hey, c'mere for a second: I sent your girlfriend there alone, and Gigi, have fun, good luck, bon voyage.
[later]
Hammond: That's why you don't fuck with me. Imma stay here and eat some fuckin' steak, drink beer, get a blowjob from a goddamn dinosaur, I don't give a fuck! I'm John Hammond! How many billions do I have again? [counts fingers] Oh that's right. Heheheheh!

"If you're sentenced to a jail cell in Santa Barbara, California, you should know that if you don't like the standard accommodations, you can buy a prison cell upgrade. It's true. For how much you think? It's not the Ritz Carlton. It's a jail! ($82.00 a night.)"

"Hum, if someone in your family committed murder, you might wanna a be a bit more discreet about it! (Beat) Eh, what am I saying? They're rich, they'll probably be fine!"
Brandon regarding the cast in the first segment of Creep Show

"I'm not gonna let this battle be dictated by facts! I'm rich! I've got fat stacks and super PACs!"

    Western Animation 
"I'm rich! I can do anything!"
Scrooge McDuck's Evil Twin, DuckTales (1987)

"Like they say, you can't be too rich, or too evil!"

"No! I never lose! I'm too rich to lose!"
Remy Buxaplenty, The Fairly Oddparents storybook "Scout's Honor"

Mr. Burns: Smithers, is it wrong to cheat in order to win a million dollar bet?
Smithers: Yes, sir.
Mr. Burns: Let me rephrase that. Is it wrong if I cheat in order to win a million dollar bet?
Smithers: No, sir. Who would you like killed?

Lawyer: Your honor, my client has instructed me to remind the court of how rich and important he is; that he is not like other men.
Mr. Burns: I should be able to run over as many kids as I want!

Diane: And you're not worried it's going to get out that you killed an employee? Like, in the video we're shooting right now?
Whitewhale: Didn't you hear? Congress just passed a bill legalizing murder if you're rich!

Norm: Hey boss, this is definitely legal, right?
Norm's boss: Norm, we're rich. Everything is legal.
Both: (Evil Laugh)
Norm: Privilege.

    Real Life 
"What power has the law where only money rules?"

"There is no wall that is high enough to stop a horse with a cart filled with gold."
Philip II of Macedon

I sincerely believe that banking establishments are more dangerous than standing armies...
Thomas Jefferson, 1816 letter

History records that the money changers have used every form of abuse, intrigue, deceit, and violent means possible to maintain their control over governments by controlling money and its issuance.

The poor have sometimes objected to being governed badly; the rich have always objected to being governed at all.

Money is the supreme good, therefore its possessor is good. Money, besides, saves me the trouble of being dishonest: I am therefore presumed honest. I am brainless, but money is the real brain of all things and how then should its possessor be brainless?
Karl Marx, "The Power of Money"

"The only problem with capitalism is the capitalists."

Mankind is divided into rich and poor, into property owners and exploited; and to abstract oneself from this fundamental division... means abstracting oneself from fundamental facts.

"Every law that was ever written opened up a new way to graft."

"The rich people are those who create wealth, and you have to treat them well so they continue to give wealth."
—Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet, May 1988 speech

"We don't pay taxes. Only little people pay taxes."
Leona "Queen of Mean" Helmsley

"Prosecutors may consider the collateral consequences of a corporate criminal conviction in determining whether to charge the corporation with a criminal offense."
—U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, "Charging the Corporation: Collateral Consequences"

Money is now a Great Wall of China separating American rich from poor, a division beginning to seem as eternal the Great Wall itself.
Gore Vidal, Point to Point Navigation

"If you’re rich and they try to prosecute you for a crime you can just put up your hand and say “Oh no thank you” like a waiter offered you extra pepper"
internethippo on Twitter

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