- Batman pulling his signature departure on Gordon.
Gordon: Every damn time...
- What makes it funnier is that you don't take control of Batman in mid-glide or far from Gordon at all. He's just on a steel platform two meters below, which raises the question of if his Stealth Hi/Bye is necessary or if he just likes to screw with Gordon.
- There is an even funnier moment later, during a sequence that puts you in control of Gordon for a few minutes, and puts you in first person view as you explore a certain area. The game keeps you in Gordon's POV long enough to get acclimated to it, so that by the time you decide to turn around, you discover that Batman has managed to sneak up on YOU.
- Bit of Fridge Funny: When you as Batman bring Gordon to the Clock Tower, he must abandon his squad car halfway when the ride gets too dangerous for it, so he rides in the back of the Batmobile the rest of the way. When he joins you in the Tower, you and he have a falling out over Barbara's abduction and he storms out in a huff, after which you return to the street and must summon the Batmobile ... which Gordon, furious at you and lacking other transport, evidently stole to get back to GCPD!
- Joker refers to Scarecrow as "bag-head" and claims he's not good at putting on a show.
- In contrast to his usual green business suits, Riddler's outfit in this game consists of a torn tank-top, worker's pants, and a Riddle-themed Hawaiian shirt.
- A funny and awesome moment: After rescuing GCPD Officer Kevern from Scarecrow's thugs and nearly being run over by a jeep, Kevern asks Batman what he's doing next.
- You can apparently do donuts with the Batmobile if you stay still.
- A slightly dark moment occurs after Batman disables the jeep mentioned above. Bats walks up to the wreckage and sees the driver pull himself free and start crawling away before picking him up and doing what he does best. Though what seals it is the Kick Them While They Are Down moment at the end.
Thug: The other wha- [Screams as Bats breaks his wrist]
- Adding to this, when you arrive in GCPD lockup, The Thug is there with his arm in a sling. You can even shut him up by reaching in and KOing his head against the prison bars. If you return to do it again, Batman will hold his hand up and the mook will fall on his ass so fast that he tumbles over himself on the ground. Even any other thugs who are in that cell at this point laugh at him.
- After saving Ivy from Scarecrow, Batman is suddenly dragged up off-screen by enormous vines while she makes her escape in a penthouse elevator, chuckling, "Will he ever learn?" When the doors open a few floors down, she sees Batman waiting for her and lets out a rather disappointed sigh.
- Batman's hilariously childish threat of "burning every plant in Gotham" if Ivy doesn't give him information about Scarecrow. Ivy's tone of voice and her eye-roll when she does make it seem more like she is indulging him than being intimidated by his threat.
- Also, Batman behind the wheel.
Ivy: (Arriving at the police lockup in the Batmobile) Who taught you to drive?note
- Also, the mechanism where Batman essentially straps her in the rear of the Batmobile — it's like Punk in the Trunk, but with the seats from Six Flags' Batman The Ride.
- As Batman roars into the GCPD parking garage, all the officers panic at first, convinced it's a new tank in Arkham Knight's militia. Cut to Batman leaving the precinct, and he catches them checking out his ride; when they notice him, they immediately snap to, embarrassed.
- Later in the game, you can catch them making selfies/vids in front of your car.
GCPD Officer: Ok, this time say, "I'm Batman"! [click]
- There's an evidence room in the building as well, which contains cool Easter Eggs of past villain's equipments. When Joker's hallucination finds his equipment, he's quite pissed that he can't use it, and complain how much effort it is to actually make a set of exploding chattering teeth.
- There's also Batman's REC gun from the previous games in one display case — essential later in the game, when the building is under siege, but Batman can break the glass and take it any time he wishes. Wisely, nobody objects. Re-entering the room after taking it even has the guards commenting on how it is his gun.
- One of the Gotham Stories is an article by Jack Ryder in GC Magazine, recounting his memories of being hunted down by Deadshot in Arkham City. "Self-aggrandizing" doesn't even begin to adequately describe it.
"Are you ready, Jack?" Batman asked, looking straight at me, one eye filled with admiration, the other with respect.
"I'm ready, Batman," I replied bravely.
"Then let's do this, Jack. Together," he said. Asked, really.
The Dark Knight stood up from behind our cover then, as we prepared to take on the deadly assassin Deadshot together. Was I scared? Dear reader, I was terrified. But I couldn't let it show. Batman needed me.
Then I saw it, the laser sight playing like a lover's tongue across his nipple.
"BATMAN! NO!" I shouted dramatically. I dived forward then, knocking the Caped Crusader to the ground as the bullet whizzed past my ear. Batman was back on his feet in an instant, however. He grabbed me and pulled us both into cover behind a chimney chute in the bombed ruin of Arkham City.
"What now, Jack?" Batman asked, his voice cracking slightly under the strain.
I thought for a moment.
"You need to hide behind cover whenever he's looking in our direction, Batman," I explained patiently. "And then try and reach the vent under the helipad."
Batman looked at the difference between him and the sharpshooter marksman.
"You can do it, Batman," I said reassuringly. "I know you can."
- Another story is a series of diary entries from Calendar Man, vowing as a New Year's resolution not to do any crimes inspired by major holidays that year, instead focusing on minor, neglected dates on the calendar. After committing a series of ghoulish atrocities based off National Hugging Day, Groundhog Day, World Environment Day, National Talk Like a Pirate Day, and World Peace Day, he finally feels tempted to "cheat" and begins planning a death trap for Batman on Halloween. The entry for Oct. 31 reads simply, "Damn Scarecrow."
- Riddler, noting how the darker parts of the Internet tend to go after "white knights", apparently attempted to start a trending hashtag on social media, "CrusaderGate", to turn public opinion against Batman, exposing his humiliation of Eddie during the events of Protocol 10. As might be expected, it was a monumental failure, and Nygma quickly begins to contemplate smashing his laptop just to forget all of the backlash ever happened.
"Y do u attack B@man? He is BASED! U r a fa-"
Riddler deleted the email, and all others like it, as prickly hot anger and shame squirmed through his insides. [...] This computer was tainted now. Yet Riddler paused. He still had electrical burns from the last time he'd angrily ripped 128 gigs of RAM from a motherboard. His search for a hammer concluded when another email arrived.
- Mad Hatter, somewhat disoriented after his release from Arkham City, attempted to find a new Alice, but no suitable candidates were available. The story details Tetch softly clipping and shaving a slender young man with long blonde hair that he's wedged into a blue dress, reasoning that he'll do for now.
- After you disarm all the bombs from Johnny Charisma, the only thing left is to take him down and once you do, Robin disarms him and pushes to Batman as he grabs Johnny by his shirt (probably to take out his aggression from the hallucination Joker):
Johnny: No encore? (Gives a smile while passing the mic to him)
(Batman headbutts him)
Robin: And he's a professional singer? Even Alfred sings better than this guy.
- One of the missions to track down a weapons cache has this gem when the Penguin learns that his goons are being followed:
Penguin: Why are you so sodding useless?!
Thug: I'm sorry...
Penguin: Aw, well, thats alright then. Apology accepted.
- When transporting Penguin to lockup, should you complete the side quest before the game's end:
You're nuffin' without your little helpers. I nearly had your boy, didn't I? (Deathly silence) Penguin: (Nastily)
What's th' matter? Got you rattled? Batman:
Your choice, Cobblepot — GCPD, or the morgue. Penguin: (Uneasy, chuckling)
E-empty threats, Batman. We all know you don't kill. Batman: I'm not feeling myself tonight. Penguin: (Quietly terrified)
Well, I-I'm sure you... you'll feel better tomorrow. Good night's kip can do... wonders, mate.
- The Enemy Chatter is back.
- To be fair, the Mooks in this game now have a charging attack that is hard to interrupt so he kind of has a point.
- Though a Quickfire Batarang instantly knocks out charging mooks, making this even funnier.
- The alternative to avoid getting tackled by a charging mook is to jump over him when he gets close...which causes the thug to slip as he lunges forward.
- There's at least one criminal who's been exceptionally fortunate through his career:
- Two militia members discuss the predilections of the ultra-wealthy:
So, that's Wayne Tower? Militiaman #2:
No, no, I don't think so. That's Wayne International Plaza. #1:
So what's the difference? #2:
I dunno. It's like, bigger, isn't it? #1:
That's it? If I was a billionaire, I'd build a tower OR a plaza, and I think I'd be happy. Why's he got to have both? #2:
Beats me. Still, I bet there's all kinds of cool toys in there
Don't even think about it. Wayne buildings are impregnable; guy's a security nut. Everyone I know who's ever taken on a contract to hit Wayne property gets caught up in some kinda security trap. #2:
What's he hiding? #1:
Who knows? He's a billionaire, they're all nuts! He's probably up there right now, showing his bottled piss collection to a party of supermodels.
- One of the militia members talks over the radio about finishing off Batman and moving on to conquer Metropolis. His partner quickly berates him on how stupid an idea that is.
: If you think dealing with the Bat is bad, you don't want to have to deal with the other guy.
"(sounding childish) And they said I couldn't man a checkpoint on my own..."
Thug #1: I'm just sayin', I never thought I'd like t' see Gotham City taken over by a foreign power.
Thug #2: They ain't foreign!
Thug #1: Y' know what I mean. It ain't right! Batman better do somethin' about it before we kill him.
- "Weird. All the stations are playin' that 'Emergency Broadcast' song."
- Two militia men at a watchtower halfway through the game have a conversation about how if Batman shows up, they're going to kick his ass, one of them saying he probably isn't that tough. Cue Batman showing up in front of the iron bars that keep you from actively hitting them, one of the men advising his comrade not to poke his hand through or goad Batman, with the other one awkwardly apologizing for his grandstanding.
- After Batman's unmasking, the mooks sometimes have hilarious theories.
Mook: So, hang on, hang on. If Batman is Bruce Wayne, then who's playing Bruce Wayne all this time?
- Which extend to Batman's partners.
- A few are actually quite disappointed.
Mook: It feels like something is missing since this 'Bruce Wayne is Batman' thing. It's like finding out Santa Claus is really that drunk uncle.
- One guy is really, really, really excited.
Mook 1: I can't believe I met Bruce Wayne!
Mook 2: It was two years ago. He punched you in the face and left you hanging off the side of a bridge.
Mook 1: Yeah, but it's Bruce Wayne!
- Another claims to have known it all along.
Thug 1: "I always knew it was Bruce Wayne.
Thug 2: Yeah right.
Thug 1: He punches like a rich guy. Contemptuously. Like he's got better things to do than beat the crap out of you.
- Whether Batman or Bruce, they know one thing — the guy's still scary.
Thug 1: (Jokingly): Oh no! He's coming to get us in the Waynemobile!
Thug 2: (Joining in): Look out boys! Wayne-a-rangs!
Thug 3: Quick! Quick! Run away! He's gonna beat us into a bloody pulp while wearing his heavily armored Waynesuit! (Quiets down, frightened) Actually. Yeah. Keep out of his way.
- One has a startling realization:
Mook 1: Now that I think about it, Bruce Wayne hit pretty hard back in Arkham City.
Mook 2: Yeah, that uppercut. It seemed a bit familiar.
Mook 1: Exactly! And the way he cracked my skull! It rang a bell at the time but I thought it was just a concussion.
- Another one remarks that this is capitalism's fault, because the 1% get so bored with their life styles that they do outlandish stuff like buy suits and gadgets and go around beating the crap out of people. The guy talking to him doesn't even bother to argue with the idiot!
- In Ace Chemicals, you can find two militiamen arguing whether the Batmobile is a tank or a car, which is particularly hilarious with all the debate over the Batmobile being "too military-like" for a Batman game.
- A mook plots against Poison Ivy:
- In the DLC A Matter of Family, Joker's henchmen show a somewhat dubious understanding of basic science:
Thug #1: (Referring to a mechanical Kraken)
In dinosaur-times, these things were the king of the sea. Thug #2:
It's crazy, isn't it? Imagine if these things were still alive today. #1:
And YOU, copper, are about t' be EATEN by one! GCPD Hostage: (Frustrated)
You morons don't know what you're talking about! #1:
Hey, imagine y' found this dinosaur's DNA in a bug stuck in an orange glass? Thug #3:
Y' ever wonder how the bugs GET in the orange glass? #1:
It burrows t'rough the glass an' gets stuck. #3:
How come d' glass was orange back then? #1: (Authoritatively)
Actually, glass IS orange in its natural state. It has t' go through all kinds a'... chemicals and crap to become transparent. #3:
Man, they process EVERYTHING these days. Sugar, flour... glass! #1:
Hey, we like our sugar white and our glass transparent. Hostage:
What the hell are you TALKING about?! You're making him dumber! Stop talking nonsense! #3:
YOU shut up! Hostage:
It's amber, not glass! Glass is made of sand, amber is made of fossilized resin! #1:
Shut up, geek, or we feed ya t' th' dinosaur! Hostage:
It's not a dinosaur! It's a Kraken. It never existed! NEVER! #2:
Oh yeah?! Hostage:
We'll see about that! Hostage:
What do you mean 'we'll see about that!'? No we won't. It either did exist, or it didn't. And it didn't. #3:
Maybe Krakens were dinosaurs? Hostage:
A Kraken is a mythic creature. It's completely made up. The stuff of story. #2:
Okay, shut that mouth or we're dropping you in!
- True, they may be unrepentant criminals, but why should that stop them from looking for legit work?
Thug #1: Hey, you think you can cover my shift tomorrow? I got work.
Thug #2: Really? Someone decided to employ your dumb ass?
Thug #2: Seriously?
- Harley still doesn't hire her men for their brains.
Mook #1: [Batman]'s gonna kill us the same way he killed Joker.
Mook #2: What? By... withholding medicine?
Mook #1: That's not what I meant!
- In one of the Penguin's Audio Files he and Two-Face are arguing whether or not they should trust the Arkham Knight. We get this little gem:
Two-Face: The coin says give him a chance.
Penguin: Sod the stinkin' coin. When I make a deal I like to look a man in the eye.
Two-Face: Did you bring a footstool?
- As you finish the various side quests and lock up Gotham's major criminals all in one crowded holding cell, they'll eventually begin shooting the breeze with each other just out of sheer boredom, resulting in some golden exchanges.
Penguin: (To Deathstroke)
I'm always lookin' for new talent
. Let's talk. Deathstroke:
Small opponents can be deceptively strong in combat. You... need to lose some weight first.
Ever handle a flamethrower, old man? Deathstroke:
Ever seen napalm drop in the dead of night? Most beautiful thing in the world.
Pyg: (Strangled gasp)
YOUTH... is Pyg's best friend. Pyg can make you YOUNG again! Ssssoften
the ssscars. Deathstroke:
I knew a guy in Hanoi. Used to make wallets out of dead Vietcong. You guys would... hit it off.
Blackfire: (To Penguin)
Come, pray with me, little man! God finds beauty in us all, however deformed we are!
- The entire scene with Professor Pyg, all the way up to the hilarious operatic boss fight with the Dollotrons, complete with all the weird singing and grunting.
- Most of Joker's dialogue, though it tends to be darker than an ink well in a coal mine. It doesn't hurt that he seems to be enjoying himself immensely while tagging along as part of "the new dynamic duo".
- If the player takes too long to escape ACE Chemicals, he gives a very deadpan tip to use the Batmobile.
"Now if only we had something powerful enough to rip out a wall. And no, I'm not talking about you, ya big lump."
- When Batman rips out the entire wall of the mixing chamber to escape from ACE Chemicals:
"Oh, Bats, I've missed you! All the subtlety and nuance of a napalm enema."
- As Batman moves to destroy the Penguin's first weapon cache, Joker is there waiting for him — and then gets "stuck" inside as the explosives are about to go.
Joker: (Imitating Penguin) "Wotta wanker. Let's put 'im outta business, eh?" (Chuckles) Seriously? Do you believe that accent? Bet he only puts it on to sound scary.
(Batman, ignoring him, sprays Explosive Gel over the bombs and leaves, shutting the vault behind him)
Joker: (Panicked) What are you doing?! Bats, c'mon! Don't lock me IN here! I'll do anything! You want your laundry done?! I'll do it! Help out Alfred? You got it!
Other Joker: (Leaning against the vault door) Wouldn't like to be THAT guy.
- After Batman is attacked and throttled by a swarm of laughing Jokers:
- As Batman enters Johnny Charisma's cocktail lounge lair wired to the ceiling with explosives, he begins to hallucinate Joker instead, who sings a morbidly hilarious big-band number, "Look Who's Laughing Now", about how he's slowly gaining control of Batman's mind, complete with dancing and orchestral accompaniment.
I'm stuck in your head, and I'm laughing! HA!
I fill you with dread, and I can't stop laughing!
Your PARENTS are dead, and I can't stop laughing!
What else can I do?
Now I'm part of you!
- Even though the reprise for the aforementioned song is rather melancholic and depressing, it does manage to squeeze in one particular gem:
I'm stuck in his head and not laughing.
I'd be better off dead, and I'm not laughing.
TAKE ROBIN INSTEAD, and THEN I'd be laughing!
- And at the end, he (depressingly) mutters "You've been a great crowd. I'll be here all week. Try the veal."
- This game over scene (spoilers).
- And with the more obvious music put in. (Again, spoilers.)
- Actually, the game over screens where Joker is genuinely horrified, concerned, or shocked at Batman's death are golden.
"Oh, Bats, you big kidder. You don't fool me. (beat) Bats? BATS?!"
"Well, that's what I get for betting it all on black."
"I've sat through my own funeral already, now I have to go through the whole thing again?! Thanks for nothing."
- Heck, quite a few villains have their own little gems during their game over screens.
Riddler: Riddle me this! What's dead? You!
Harley Quinn: When you see my pud'n, tell him Harley sent ya. And she says hi!
- Another Riddler game over has him shouting in joy at finally killing Batman... and then switch back to his in-character collected smugness.
- In the normal opening to the game, the corpse of the Joker is slid into a cremation oven, the camera lingering over his motionless dead body being consumed by fire. The opening for New Game+, on the other hand, has a delightful sick twist — as the flames build, the Joker suddenly bolts upright while screaming in agony, then lays back down, laughing his head off.
- As you head out to rescue Gordon from the Arkham Knight and Scarecrow, Joker assures you Jim has nothing to be afraid of, "since they sent his little girl on the stairlift to heaven."
- During said mission, the Arkham Knight busts out his excavator in a Dynamic Entry, and provides this gem as the camera swings down to show him at the controls.
"I did ask if it came in black, but then I thought, you'd just get all jealous."
- When saving Barbara Gordon from falling to her death and then carrying her towards the Batmobile, Joker offers this side-splitter.
Joker: How chivalrous. Remember when you carried me like that? I don't, because I was dead.
- Then there's this Getting Crap Past the Radar moment:
(To Two-Face) "So, how's it hanging, Harv? Color me insensitive, but I've always wanted to ask: did... everything get split down the middle?"
- The baseball cap he wears in Batman's hallucination of Barbara's handicapping is helpfully emblazoned with "FLASHBACK".
- Prank-calling Bruce's answering machine.
Joker: You have... two - new - messages. (Beep) Joker: (Gruff "dad" voice) Uh, Bruce, er, this is your father calling. It's time we had a talk, son... you know... about the dressing up. (Giggles) (Click) Joker: (Trying not to laugh) Next - new - message. (Beep) Joker: (Barely keeping it together, in a Pepperpot-like voice) Brrruce, this is your mother calling now! I just wanted to say... (Cracks up) Sorry! Sorry! It's so funny, y' know? 'Cause they're DEAD!
- During the boss fight where Joker attempts to forcefully take over Batman's mind in Crime Alley, he again gives a few more Black Comedy barbs.
"Come on, Bats, your dead Mom and Dad can hit harder than that."
"If you think about it, I'm actually dancing on your parents' grave! Stomping all over their memory!"
- Taunting Bruce to break his neck and kill him, once and for all? Sinister. Clucking like a chicken when he hesitates to do so? Wonderfully silly.
- The best way to break the news of Barbara's death to Jim Gordon: a limerick.
There once was a gal named Oracle!
Expert in things technological!
But in a fear toxin bind, she blew her own mind!
And sadly that's not metaphorical!
- In the ending, when he's hunting down the other villains around the GCPD:
"Guys! I just want to talk! About shooting you! With this gun! Which I'm going to do when we're done talking!"
- Bruce's parents aren't the only ones that Joker disses...
- The part when Joker falls off the roof to the Batmobile, and you jump in after him? Priceless.
- Combined with Nightmare Fuel: as you slowly use the Nimbus cell to replace the power core of the Batmobile, the Joker tries to make Batman give in to the fear toxin, first, by telling him to take deep breaths, then pretending to sleep; and then, when the Nimbus is being slowly placed into the Batmobile, he sings a grotesque version of "Rock-a-Bye Baby" that goes like this:
Rock-a-bye Batsy, I'm getting free.
Soon you'll be the one trapped inside me.
So keep taking breaths, great lungfuls of fear.
Soon Bats will be gone, and I will be here.
- Batman can also do an Offhand Backhand while he's doing this. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome!
- Another gem occurs after you defeat all the militia in one part of the sewers:
Joker: Those boys have really done their homework! Where do you think they're getting their intel? *Gasp!* You think Barbara told them? Oh, those sidekicks of yours, a teeny-tiny bit of torture and they're all, "Please make it stop! I'll tell all Batman's secrets! BOO HOO HOO HOO!"
- After Batman gets dosed with fear gas, the billboards in Gotham start changing into grotesque parodies of themselves whenever he turns his head — Robin, Gordon and Alfred choke their last on poison fumes while an adorable puppy keels over dead, Batman shoots Harley, Riddler, and Two-Face in the head at breakfast, and Mister J. enjoys a luxuriant fear-toxin bubble bath.
- When Harley discovers your hideout at Panessa Studios, the Joker comments on how miraculous it is that she even managed to find the place.
- At the very end, when locking Joker away in Batman's mind, he's such a terrible fighter that it's very quick and easy to knock him down. The battle doesn't end until you throw him in the cell, so you can continue to punch him as many times as you want as he cries out in pain, writhing around on the floor pathetically (that is if you choose not to let him get back up). Made particularly cathartic considering all of the trauma he's been putting Batman through up until that point.
- One of the gems you can come across when you discover Joker on the rooftops:
Joker: Hey, Bats, guess what? I found your dreams! Now let's see here... parents coming back, boring... Gotham at peace, yeah right... ooh! Here's some with Talia! Uh, just go on Bats, I'll be here awhile...
- After defeating Arkham Knight the first time, Joker asks what happens to the bad guys Batman defeats but doesn't capture. This leads to him wondering if Knight as at some rundown bar somewhere, attempting to drink away his sorrows, but only getting cheap whiskey on the front of his helmet.
- Joker has various comments depending on what side quests are active. Here's what he has to say about Jack Ryder.
Jack Ryder interviewed me once. Boring questions though. "When are you letting me go?" "Are you going to kill me?" "What's the poker for?" You know, the usual soft ball stuff. *sigh* I say we leave him at the Lady of Gotham.
- The Riddler returns in all of his petty insult-slinging glory, but sometimes he actually manages some good ones.
Bats: the only type of mammal that can fly. Since you can only glide
, that actually makes you a type of squirrel.
Riddler: I built this course in a sewer, Detective! You needed the home-team advantage.
Riddler: Oh, Catwoman. Your wit never ceases to... occur.
- Riddler may also comment that Batman will be stuck on a particular riddle all night, only to become outraged that the Bat already solved it. Bonus points if the "riddle" was a trophy lying in the open.
- Before the first racetrack in the Cauldron, Riddler offers to give you the radar pulse frequency to open the primary gate, but only after explaining a series of draconian rules governing how Batman should behave during the evening's festivities. Batman, naturally, decrypts the frequency in an instant and can open the gate any time he wishes, which momentarily throws Riddler off his game before he backpedals and claims Batman "solved" his first puzzle. (The rules themselves are also hilariously cruel, including an insistence that Batman only address him as either "Riddler", "The Riddler", or "Mr. Nigma, sir", the right for Riddler to create as many new, contradictory rules as he wishes at any point, limited bathroom breaks, and the responsibility for any such "accidents" due to this limit falling solely on Batman.)
- His increasing feelings of betrayal and outrage as Batman uses the Voice Synthesizer gadget acquired later on to hack his robots into helping him get Riddler trophies; in one of his rants he admits that he programmed them with a basic sense of religion with himself as the figurehead.
- Finally got Catwoman's tacky bomb collar off after doing all the puzzle rooms? Just stroll on over to the exit and have the Riddler come bursting through the door, with a fighting robot that he built to kill Batman. He built a fighting robot with a bright green shield, and he rants about how the Bat cheated while topping his dirtiest tricks.
- This little gem from his boss fight:
Riddler: "DIE, FATHER! ... I mean... Batman..."
- His comment upon being taken to the GCPD:
Riddler: Ha! I could have brought me here twice as quickly!
- Riddler also gets a good dig on Azrael provided he makes the "Kill Batman" Choice:
Riddler: Your faith in mindless superstition is as misplaced as your desire to emulate Gotham's overrated defender, you outdated, eleventh century anachronism.
- After the final fight with Scarecrow, with Batman's true identity broadcast across the city and around the world, Riddler not only doesn't think Batman is really Bruce Wayne, but that it's an elaborate trick of some kind — which would have involved Bats himself conspiring with Scarecrow and the Arkham Knight, all just to make Eddie look the fool. It's so audaciously, laughably insane that it drives home perfectly just how insecure Riddler really is.
- One set of Riddler challenges is funny, not because of anything on Eddie's part, but because of how Batman gets around it. He's planted microbombs in the heads of a few rioters (who are often very peaceful when you see them), and if Batman just knocks them out, they'll explode. Thus, Batman has to use an electrified batarang to **zap the bombs into uselessness.** Imagining what's going through someone's head when they're just zapped out of nowhere for no discernable reason is funny enough, but what if there's no source of electricity to electrify your batarangs with? Well, that's when you **HIT THEM WITH THE BATMOBILE** just so the electrified panels on it will disable the bomb! Batman's kind of dick, once you think of it.
- In the final boss fight, the lingering fragment of the Joker in Batman's mind is forced to come to terms with how everything he's done will eventually be forgotten and he's dead, once and for all. Though this would normally be a bleak topic for most, since it's Batman mentally taunting his arch-foe, there's a lot of Black Comedy in his vision of a world without Joker — a funeral attended only by Harley, a newspaper with the headline "JOKER DIES: GOTHAM DOESN'T CARE" (and another with "HARLEY QUINN AND RIDDLER EXPECTING FIRST CHILD"), and a museum dedicated to Batman's fight against his arch-enemy... Penguin, of all people. Though, given that Penguin has been in conflict with Batman before Joker came around, it makes some sense.
- Some of Aaron Cash's commentary on the various weapons and gear taken from the villains.
- On Firefly's flamethrower and jetpack:
Cash: One flamethrower and... jetpack? Worn by Garfield Lynns aka Firefly. [Sigh] Why can't Gotham have a normal pyromaniac, you know? Why does ours have to fly?
- On Riddler's giant mech suit:
One... giant ass robot suit thing
, built by Edward Nigma aka The Riddler. Poor Eddie, he builds a custom-designed Batman-killing machine
and still gets his ass handed to him. Not sure if that says more about Batman, or Eddie.
- On Mr. Freeze's freeze ray:
We, uh, had to stop playing with this after the commissioner caught us making ice cream.
- On an enormous pile of money, confiscated from Two-Face's gang's raids on various Bank of Gotham branches:
Cash: I'll count this when I get time.
- On Man-Bat's serum and vampire bat, he struggles to come up with a name for him.
Cash: Uh... What do we call this one? Batman's already taken.
- Equipping the Adam West skin is amusing enough, but it gets even more hilarious when various characters comment on your newly upgraded Batsuit and you're wearing the costume from the campy 1966 series.
- Talking to Aaron Cash at one point will have him compliment on your new costume and about how it probably kicks much more ass than before.
- The Arkham Knight would marvel at the upgrades of the batsuit.
- The fabric mask is removed like a robotic helmet.
- When Harley Quinn is beaten, Batman picks her up and carries her over his shoulder. She actually starts whining and beating her fists on his back like a child throwing a tantrum, with about the same impact.
- The Deathstroke battle. Slade leaps into the air like the badass assassin that he is, only to be taken out so fast that we only see his sword go twirling up into the air. Its like something straight out of Looney Tunes.
- It was even more hilarious for anyone who played Arkham Origins. After his spectacular boss fight in that game, most players were expecting a truly epic showdown. They were probably more surprised than Slade must have been.
- It's also amusing that Batman felt the need to exit the Batmobile and beat him down personally when he could have just smacked him down with a SLAM round. He must really not like that guy.
- Riddler's audio logs start with him being manipulated by Scarecrow in a hilariously obvious manner (where Eddie even knows he's being manipulated, and thinks he's put one over on Crane). Then, Eddie captures Catwoman in the most cheap way possible, telling her to reach into one of the robots' chest cavities to see a required part; Selina even does it only because she's thrown off her guard by how incredibly annoying she finds him.
: You're appealing to my ego. Scarecrow
: Is it working? Riddler
: HA! I don't HAVE an ego, Crane. I'm far too brilliant.
- The best part is that Scarecrow, who rarely expresses any form of emotion throughout the entire game, sounds like he doesn't want to put up with Eddie. You can practically hear him rolling his eyes.
- The Riddler also has trouble hiring Catwoman. For understandable reasons, Catwoman has absolutely no interest in conversing with one such as him on the phone and she almost hung up on him due to his inability to control his smugness.
- The checkpoints are all manned by groups of highly trained, professional soldiers... except for one which is a single, grumbling engineer staring intently at a computer console and trying to big himself up.
- Another one has a guard deliberately Tempting Fate as his job is boring, to the point of begging Batman to come down and fight them. Eventually, another guard is so annoyed he starts Tempting Fate himself, hoping for Batman to come in and kick the crap out of the guard.
- After the Arkham Knight leaves, Scarecrow takes over. During the next Predator section, he's the one on the radio, and like Joker, Penguin, etc. in the previous games, he proves to be a Bad Boss. Unlike them, he doesn't berate his mooks for their incompetence, or crack jokes about Batman taking them out, but instead tells them in excruciating detail about the physiological nature of the fear they're experiencing, and how they'll never forget it, and will lie awake at night sobbing like a child for years to come. You know, for motivation.
- Harley Quinn carries around what looks like a Light Machine Gun, or an assault rifle with a box magazine. She has also put fuzzy pink dice on it.
- Aaron Cash comments on her weapon once Harley is down. He describes it as a machine gun duct taped to a grenade launcher.
- Some of Nightwing's quips throughout the Penguin sidequest can merit a chuckle—although this one in particular takes the cake:
Nightwing:*On a video feed,having been captured by Penguin.* Good news! I found Penguin. Heee's right where we want him.
- Gordon has been adamant throughout the series that he's a cop, not a politician. Guess what he becomes by the end of the game?
- Finally rescue Catwoman and she'll playfully wonder if all the mansions are evacuated too. "Maybe I'll see how tightly Wayne Manor is locked." Batman just says that she's going to need a lot of luck with that...
- An extra layer of Hilarious in Hindsight is added after defeating Riddler. In the middle of a heartwarming/sad scene between them, Selina calls Batman "Bruce", meaning she knew exactly who she was bantering with earlier.
- It might not have been Wayne Manor's expensive paintings she was after.
- The banter between Batman and Catwoman is pretty funny too at times, mostly due to the contrast between Bruce's seriousness and Selina's deadpan snark. At one point, Selina complains about their growing partnership.
Selina: Half the underworld is starting to think I feed you information.
Batman: You do.
- Particularly funny is this part after entering another puzzle room together:
- One exchange where Selina proves just how much she has Batman wrapped around her finger:
: Selina, where were you last Friday? Between midnight and one a.m.? Catwoman
: Giving blood - no, wait, volunteering. Why? Batman
: There was a break-in at the Museum of Gotham. A valuable gemstone was stolen. Catwoman
: *gasps* What? No! Who could DO such a thing? Batman
: ...Just put it back.
- In the final puzzle room, Catwoman's got a good reaction to Riddler mistaking a riddle for a giant death trap made of saw blades. Bonus points if the player decides to have Selina jump back up to the ceiling, as opposed to ducking under the trap like intended.
- Alfred remains, as ever, the quintessential Servile Snarker.
Alfred: There is a robbery in progress at the Bank of Gotham. The perpetrators are confirmed to be known associates of Two-Face. Perhaps Mr. Dent has misplaced his coin?
- On attacking fortifications:
Batman: The militia have set up a watchtower in Chinatown. I need to make an example of it and crush them.
Alfred: Scans reveal that they are heavily armed, sir. "Crush them" with a degree of caution.
- After being exposed to her pheromones, one of the officers at the GCPD grows infatuated with Poison Ivy. Initially he thinks its because he studied horticulture at college, but as the game progresses, he tries to think of numerous ways to impress her. He even ponders writing her a poem, asking Batman if there's a paper not made from trees. Eventually he realises that she brainwashed him, resulting in this humorous line:
Officer: When I get home, I'm making salad.
- During the militia assault on the GCPD, if you go into the interview room you'll find the table upended, with Ryder jumping out from behind it in a blind panic, ceremonial dagger held awkwardly in his hands, before realizing it's Batman. Particularly amusing considering how every other person in the building is handling the situation like the trained professionals they are.
- Of course, this is Ryder we're talking about.
- Fridge Hilarity: The absolutely huge Wayne International Plaza skyscraper is right next to a partially constructed LexCorp tower roughly a third of the height. Ah, the subtle trolling you can get away with when you're a multi-billionaire...
- From the "Matter of Family" DLC: When one of Joker's thugs mentions "sleeping with the fishes", another thug insists that the correct plural for "fish" is "fie-sh".
- In a darkly hilarious way, every Robin in this game is kidnapped and held hostage which includes Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, and Jason Todd. Even Joker lampshades it.
- After the Arkham Knight battle, a member of the militia can be overheard describing Knight's rant against Batman as sounding like a bad divorce.
- If you do the Hush side mission, Batman may very well walk into his office's anteroom and call Alfred by name on his holographic gauntlet... right in front of his secretary. Who is admittedly traumatized in the corner and apparently not paying attention to him, but still. It's also possible that few people know Alfred by name, since he's often referred to as, "the butler" or "Jeeves".
- "A lot of guys here are are on the take, big guy. But don't worry, Batman, you can trust me." — Said by a cop glowing bright Riddle-Me-This Green.
- Keep talking to him to exhaust his lines and he'll also offer to be Batman's confidant, saying that he's always there if Batman needs somebody to talk to about any top-secret information or anything else. Sounds like a good idea to me.
- In the "GCPD Lockdown" DLC, Nightwing decides to respond to Penguin's shortwave dispatches, just to troll him.
Penguin: Someone talk to me! What's going on?!
Nightwing: (Broad accent) Ah, sorry, boss, we're not gettin' you outta dere any time soon.
Penguin: Why th' bloody 'ell not?!
Nightwing: 'Cuz we just got our asses kicked!
Penguin: 'Ang on, who's... (Disgusted) Oh, no. Not YOU.
Nightwing: The one and only, Oz. Look, just relax. Now that I'm here, I'll have you back down and behind bars in no time.
Penguin: Piss off, pretty-boy!
Nightwing: You know I love it when you get angry.
- The Penguin spends the majority of the DLC trapped in a dark elevator, which he finds uncomfortable due to his childhood fear of the dark. When the lights come back on, Nightwing decides to troll him again just for kicks.
Nightwing (to Lucius Fox): Oh, and while you're at it... cut the lights.
- In fact, as you clear out the mooks, Penguin slowly starts to break down, begging to be let out of the elevator. It even gets to the point where he cries!
- After Nightwing takes out all of the goons on the rooftop, he tricks the Penguin into thinking that the coast is clear by imitating a thug (again).
Nightwing (same broad accent as before)
: Hey boss, we're getting you out. Penguin
: You are? Where's Nightwing? Nightwing
: He's right here, we thought you'd wanna say hello. Penguin
: Oh, I do
. (Penguin steps out of the lift casually lighting a cigar. Then he sees Nightwing standing right in front of him...) Penguin
: ... Ahh, sod off.
- The fact that Nightwing and Fox barely take Penguin seriously here. They seem to care more about discussing Tim and Barbara's wedding than what Cobblepot's up to even while Nightwing busily foils Penguin's escape.
- Heck, pretty much everything Nightwing says in this. This DLC really shows up the snarker we all know and love from the comics.
- This line from Penguin.
Penguin: He may look like a fairy, but he doesn't fight like one.
- Penguin questioning the intelligence level of his thugs:
: You okay, boss? Penguin
: Yeah, I'm having the time of my life in here. Thug
: Really? Penguin
: NO, YOU IDIOT! It's pitch black. I hate the dark. It brings back memories. Bad ones. Thug
: Sorry I can't help. Maybe I could sing you a song? Penguin
: ... Oh God, this ain't happening.
- Penguin wondering if he's gonna get out:
Thug: Hey boss, you're still in there?
Penguin: What do you think, numpty?!
Thug: Sorry, it's just I hadn't heard you scream at anyone for at least a minute. I got worried.
Penguin: What's the latest on them fuses?
Thug: Er, we're working on it.
Penguin: ... I'm never getting out of here.
Thug: Stay positive, boss.
- For extra funny, this conversation can interrupt Penguin yelling at his henchmen.
- This conversation:
Thug #1: Hey, Sparky, why don't you help us get the power back on?
Thug #2: I ain't too good with electrics.
Thug #1: Then why the hell do they call you Sparky?
Thug #2: The Bat shoved my face into a fuse box. It's how I got my twitch.
- One mook is very observant:
Thug #1: What's Nightwing doing here anyway? I thought he went back to Bludhaven!
Thug #2: He's probably picking up the slack now that Batman's gone.
Thug #1: Is that what everyone's believing? If I had a nickel for every time one of those freaks comes back to life...
- After destroying a Watchtower in Founder's Island, you can tell that the Arkham Knight is getting a bit testy with Batman:
Arkham Knight: I'm going to rip that cape off your back and CHOKE YOU WITH IT!
- Another has the Knight responding with this. What sells it is that the Knight doesn't sound angry, just disappointed and mildly bored.
- After Batman is unmasked as Bruce Wayne, some people still don't believe it, and consider the idea laughable.
Riddler: You may have everyone in here fooled with your little Bruce Wayne charade, but not me, Batman. You'll never fool me. Officer Styles: So, Mr. Wayne, been to any good parties recently? [laughs] I can't believe people are actually buying it! I mean... [mocking Simpleton Voice] I saw it on TV, so it must be true!
- Then there's Jack Ryder's reaction:
Ryder: Look, I just want to say sorry for all those things I said to you about Bruce Wayne. And, uh, all those things I said to Bruce Wayne about Batman.
- During Harley Quinn's story mode, if you linger before using the computer to locate Poison Ivy, Penguin will berate Harley, who responds by mocking him in an exaggerated British accent, which Penguin points out isn't even close to his own accent, and that she uses words (eg. blimey) he's never said in his life.
- In the same DLC, when Penguin tells her to keep quiet or she'll alert the guards, Harley replies that "quiet" isn't in her vocabulary. Fittingly, Harley's "Silent Takedown" move prompt is replaced by "Loud Takedown".
- One of the bits of guard chatter includes an Insane Troll Logic rant about how trees clean the air, thus taking air-cleaning jobs away from honest Bludhaven citizens, and thus Poison Ivy is stealing people's jobs.
- The "Riddler's Revenge" DLC reveals that there have been certain consequences to Ed's management style of habitually insulting and downsizing his career criminal goons:
Thug #1: Everybody got their key cards?
Thug #2: Yeah!
Thug #1: Good. Don't lose 'em, 'cause... have we got it made! Bat put half the city in jail; Penguin's boys ain't gettin' paid. Two-Face's boys spent half the night robbin' banks, and they ain't gettin' paid. But Riddler's boys?
Thug #3: We're gettin' paid!
#1: You're damn right we are. God bless that Nigma and his electronic account system.
#2: Makes me feel bad for all the times I cornered nerds in high school an' made 'em eat their glasses.
#Thug 4: Well, he was gonna replace us with those robots.
#1: Yeah, and look how well that worked out for 'im. When Nigma gets outta jail, I t'ink this pack of "atavistic idiots" ain't no longer gonna be facin' our "inevitable obsol... Obsuh... Obsoless..." (Sigh) You know, d' robots.
#2: We could take care a' the robots right now. Go downstairs an' trigger Nigma's self-destruct mechanism.
#1: His COMPUTER stuff's down there! We blow it up, no more pay! Jeez, Larry — come on, y' need to think tac-tic-uh-lee if you're gonna outwit d' machines!
- While speaking with his voice-activated supercomputer, Riddler learns he overlooked one detail — he's not as good a programmer as he'd like to think.
Computer? Computer? It is I, your master. Computer: (Female voice)
HELLO — THE RIDDLER. YOU SOUND VERY SMART TODAY. Riddler:
Thank you, Computer. But this is a matter most exigent. Computer:
ERROR: DO NOT UNDERSTAND "EXIGENT". Riddler: (Sighing)
It means "urgent", understand? Now... Computer:
THANK YOU — THE RIDDLER. Riddler:
Yes, you're welcome
. Now, the Gotham Police Department currently has me immured, and I... Computer:
ERROR: DO NOT UNDERSTAND "IMMURED". Riddler:
It means imprisoned
, you idiotic machine! Confined! Incarcerated! Banged up! I don't know what is more corrupted, the prison-industrial complex or your vocabulary files! Computer:
THANK YOU — THE RIDDLER. Riddler:
I... You're welcome. Now, computer, I believe this would be a felicitous and appurtenant time to... RUN. THE "JAILBREAK". PROTOCOL. Computer:
ERROR. DO NOT UNDERSTAND "RUN." Riddler: OH, FOR
Run. Vocabulary diagnostics. Computer:
ERROR. DO NOT UNDERSTAND "RUN." Riddler: (Long fuming groan of impatience) Computer:
ERROR. DO NOT UNDERSTAND "ARGH." Riddler:
Just SHUT UP, computer! Stay on the line! I will manually execute the jailbreak protocol by using the keys on this phone to write lines of code
. (Sounds of touch-tone dialing) Riddler:
Let's see... no, that's not it. Ohhhh, come on!
Ah, yes, here we go, ha... Arrggggh! Why is it doing
this? COME ON!
"NO! (Ahem) I... don't approve of that defense strategy, good sir. Riddlerbots! Attack!"
"ARGH! ... I mean, why, that's an outrageous bail price."
Riddler: You think you can steal from ME?! ... Er, by charging such a high hourly rate? (Chuckling) Evening, Officer.
Riddler: When I get out of here, my vengeance will combine the fury of Achilles with the patience of Prospero! You'll be looking over your shoulder so much that your empty head will unscrew and fall right off! You —
Cash: You keep it down, Nigma! Don't make me take away your chess set.
Riddler: Sorry, Officer Cash! My, but your hook looks particularly shiny today!
(After the last robot has been destroyed) "Riddlerbots? RIDDLERBOTS?! I... I deny all knowledge of 'Riddlerbots', my legally-versed friend. Hello again, Officer Cash — my, you're on a remarkably efficient patrol route this evening!"
- When inspecting the voice ID module to the main console:
Catwoman: Oh, gee, it's locked.
Riddler: And encrypted! So good luck!
Computer: VOICE PRINT ACCEPTED. WELCOME — THE RIDDLER.
Riddler: (Frustrated) Noooo!
Catwoman: Thanks, Eddie!
Riddler: NO! ... I won't accept a plea bargain! (Begins sobbing)
- The very end assures Nigma's complete humiliation — not only does Catwoman drain his finances, but he proves that there are some things you just can't out-think.
Catwoman: Eddie, you're not going to need 2.73 million in jail, are you? They feed you for free.
Catwoman: And what are you going to do with a robot factory while you're in there? Arrange some sort of elaborate prison break?
Riddler: (On the verge of tears) Please, do you want me to beg? I can beg! MERCY, PLEASE!
Cash: All right, Nigma, time you calmed down. Get off the phone.
Catwoman: (Rigging the system to self-destruct) Buh-bye, Eddie.
Riddler: GAH! Unhand and unhook me, you authoritarian attack dog! Oh, a taser? You think a taser frightens ME? (Laughing) I am the RIDDLER, and you will not — (Shocking sounds) AAABLBLBLAAABLABLAAAGH!
- In the A Flip of a Coin DLC. Robin prepares to interrogates one of Two-Faces' thug.
Oracle: The foreman's in the control room, he'll know where Two-Face is hiding.
Robin: I'll make him talk.
Robin: Barbara, I know when you want to say something.
Oracle: Okay, it's just. You were always the good cop, weren't you?
Robin: Good cop, huh? OK.
- Then Robin channels his inner Batman, kicks the door open and starts walking towards the foreman.
Where is he? Thug:
I ain't scared of you. ( cue High-Altitude Interrogation
Ok-ok. He's in the main office. I swear! (Robin puts him gently on the ground and bash his head with his staff, Ko'ing him.) Robin:
Not bad, huh? Oracle: Very scary, honey
- The Season of Infamy has quite a few:
- When the milita men are walking around on Victor's boat, one of them orders everyone to "Stay Frosty". Another one laughs at that, because there's so much ice everywhere.
- This conversation from before Nora was frozen from a tape you can find after Mr. Freeze's mission:
Victor: Patient name?
Nora:*Laughs* Victor stop.
Victor: Protocol must be followed.
Nora: Victor, I mean it.
Victor: Patient refuses to disclose name...
Nora: "Patient" is about to kick ass if this goes on any longer.
- Nora has never seen Batman before. She's only ever heard him talk, and other people talk of him, from within her cryostasis induced coma, which, according to her, felt dreamlike. And yet, the moment she's released from cryostasis, she can identify him immediately. This speaks more about Batman's eccentricity than it does of Nora's observation skills.
- Disturbing as the Hatter is there's something amusing about him casting Batman of all people as Alice in his little story.
- When receiving the briefing for "Shadow War":
"Unfortunate news, sir. Members of The League of Assasins have been spotted on the rooftops of Miagami Island. Well, I presume it's the League, sir, the reporting officer's precise words were, and I quote, 'crazy-ass ninjas'
- While following the blood trail of one such 'crazy-ass ninja,' you come across a group of thugs gathered around an unconscious thug:
- Nightwing returns in the Killer Croc section. And he's still hilarious as ever.
Batman: Taking the warden, why not just kill him and escape?
Nightwing: Maybe he likes a long lunch.
Batman: This cell must be where they held Jones.
Nightwing: Guess he wasn't overjoyed with it. Maybe he wanted a window.
Killer Croc:: I know your scent, Batman!
Nightwing: It's that aftershave!
- Once Killer Croc is taken down, Nightwing immediately declares that he's not helping Batman take Killer Croc to GCPD.
- Batman turns up with Barbara at the GCPD: Cash comments that she "works for you now? Hell, we all work for you now." This is a man who understands how all this shit works folks - we have a smart policeman who isn't Gordon!
- In postgame City you can hear some thugs questioning where they are going to be held since they heard that Blackgate Prison is being turned into a shopping mall. Here you can see billboards and posters for the new Blackgate Mall.
- The militia's Drone Commander has unique lines for when you first bust out one of the Batmobile's special abilities, but his reaction to the multi-missile strike in particular is so hilariously straight forward.
Multiple friendlies offline! What the hell was that?!
- Beneath the Surface has this gem.
Two of the guards did parachute to... I hesitate to say "safety." It is Gotham.
- At Arkham Knight HQ you can find a militia commander lecturing other militiamen on tactics to fight Batman with, at one point showcasing a heart-monitor bomb he's testing out that'll explode if he's knocked out, and gloating that Batman wouldn't dare come at him while he's wearing it. For any player with a sense of comedic irony, this is the perfect opportunity to burst through the screen behind him, get him in a headlock, disarm the bomb right in front of his shocked audience and then bodyslam him into the ground.
- Due to a minor developer oversight, after you destroyed the cloudburst, if you put off doing the next storyline mission (go to the GCPD to track down Scarecrow), eventually the Riddler will taunt you that he had filled riddles in Scarecrow's HQ, the shopping mall. Too bad you can't act on this vital information.
- During the Red Hood DLC, when taking down mooks, you can prompt this one-two bit:
- When Scarecrow unmasks Batman, he has an "Well, I'll be damned," tone in his voice and facial expression, genuinely surprised that he's Bruce Wayne.
- The following sentence comes out of Joker's mouth after you defeat Deacon Blackfire: "Y'think this Blackfire's a real priest, Batsy? It's just, I owe Gotham Church an apology for that incident with the hydrochloric holy water. That was one hell of a baptism!" - do we really want to know what happened? ... Uh... yes. Yes, we do.