"When it comes to Let's Play, you can find just about every color of the rainbow if you know where to look. You got your funny Let's Plays, your informative Let's Plays, and your narrative Let's Plays that make up all the colors found in Skittles. Unfortunately, if you look in the wrong places, you can find the shit-browns and vomit-greens of camcorder Let's Plays, self-proclaimed game reviewer Let's Plays, and singalong Let's Plays. ... If quality Let's Plays are what you're looking for, you're in the wrong place, because today... Retsupurae!"
If there's one place in the world where Sturgeon's Law is in full effect, it's The Internet. In an age where just about anyone can create content and post it for others to see, the online community can serve as a prime example of quantity over quality. This naturally extends to the Let's Play community as well, with new YouTube videos posted left and right filled with asinine commentary or played on release date, MacGyver-like technical solutions such as filming a TV screen on a camcorder, barely edited material with minutes upon minutes of filler, and worst of all, barely any quality control to sort out the good videos from the bad ones. One should take it as a rite of passage to view at least one video game walkthrough narrated by a squeaky-voiced white college student who imagines himself to be the next Bob Saget, and may the Lord help you if they try and sing along to the game's background music.This is where Retsupurae comes in: an experiment hosted by Something Awful regulars Michael "slowbeef" Sawyer and Ben "Diabetus" Whitfield (with recurring guest appearances by Proteus, Shmorky, Dave_o, and Psychedelic Eyeball, among others) where the two find the worst of the YouTube community (usually Let's Plays, but sometimes extending to webcam videos, game reviews, and television shows) and then mock the living shit out of them, though they do tend to mock LPers that are just sorta weird. As such, Retsupurae has become widely appreciated for putting terrible Let's Players back in their place, though some haters still persist — mostly the very same Let's Players mocked by them in their videos, or said Let's Players' fans.They have also expanded their range to include longplays of full-length video games ("Wrongpurae") and Flash submissions to Newgrounds ("Retsufrash"), riffing on the game itself rather than the person playing it; and newer series like "Crappy Pasta", which was later renamed "Slowbeef's House of Horror", in which slowbeef does dramatic readings of terrible video game-related creepypastas, "Kickstarter Nonstarter", where they riff on ridiculous Kickstarter projects, and "IndieNoGo", which ridiculous IndieGoGo projects gets riffed in the same manner as the former. Beef and 'Betus also record a podcast called Retsutalk, which can be found here.Their videos can be found on YouTube, and the team also has an offshoot feature on the Something Awful front page named Webcam Ward. The crew has made a number of Livestreams, many of which can be found here. The first was left unrecorded since it was merely meant to be a test, but a fan has recovered said test Livestream and uploaded it to Youtube.Aside from slowbeef and Diabetus' videos, many others have tried their hand at Retsupurae in light of their success, especially other Something Awful regulars such as Chip Cheezum and General Ironicus, whose videos can be found on the former's YouTubechannel. There's also a fair amount of overlap between accounts, and it's not uncommon to see slowbeef guest-commentate on Chip's channel, for instance. There's also several smaller Retsupuraers that have sprung up, such as LesBeardly, LargeMentalBlock, College Reunion Group, TheStrawhatNO!note retired from Retsupuraes since 2011, and most of the old ones are deleted or unlisted and VNDLP.
Several Retsupurae victims, like OmegaEdge29, feel this way about the RP video(s), particularly those that feel like the videos that were riffed on were Old Shame.
This is how Wrongpuraes started: The Wrongpurae of Last Alert was done as filler and cubex55, the owner of the longplay YouTube channel it was hosted on, enjoyed it so much that he offered them his channel's entire library.
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: slowbeef and Diabetus are very disturbed by the "Users who liked this video also enjoyed" sidebar for Arrival in Hell 2. Featuring "Meet'N'Fuck Kingdom", "Bowser and Peach Hentai", and the Eddsworld flash "Dental Appointment".'
After Diabetus reads several of PewDiePie's other video titles, coming across things like "MY TOILET DIED ;_;," "LIBRARY OF NAKED MEN," and "WTF THAT VAGINA HAS ARMS," he comes across one titled simply "Siren: Blood Curse Part 2." It's brought up how weirdly normal that last one is in the Retsutalk about the video.
At the very end of LesBeardly's video on Blazzerdragon (after a lengthy rant against the LPer):
In the second part of the Lechuza riff, slowbeef takes special note of the "Thank You" part of the credits, which goes to Lasse Carlsson, Linda Wagnerius, and BloodbathGojira Pripps.
In Crappy Pasta III: Hear Its Cry, the author goes into great detail describing the blocks and the music of the Blood Whistle treasure room, and then casually mentions that Toad's skull was split open and pouring blood.
Captain Obvious: Lots of bad LPers point out things that are blatantly obvious as a substitute for worthwhile commentary. OKAY!
Diabetus also had a moment of this in Last Alert. In one cutscene, three characters are mentioned named Red, Blue, and Black. Diabetus' reaction? "Those are colors."
In "Retsupurae 3000" they manage to snark at the game protagonist being aDeadpan Snarker.
General Ironicus tends to be this as well:
whiplash308: "Oh, that's a platform, not an enemy." General Ironicus: "Yeah, it's a platform. Good job, buddy. Stop trying to kill your only means of progress."
Probably the most deadpan of the RPers was occasional guest Dave_o. As seen here
arm4g3dd0nx: "I'm the Easter Bunny! (in a falsetto, making the character bunnyhop)" Dave_o: "WHOA!" Diabetus: "BRAID!" Dave_o: "He turned into the Easter Bunny, did you see that? (seconds later, a Wall of Text appears and the LPer predictably starts reading it) Oh my god, you guys considered me! You did a video that takes into account that I can't read! Thanks!"
Dull Surprise: Several characters throughout the flashes they've played as well as a few LPers.
Policeman [text]:Jack, we really need your help on this one!!! Policeman [voice]: "Jack, we really need your help on this one." Diabetus: "That was not a three-exclamation-points reading of that line..."
Ending Fatigue: Invoked: One thing that they frown upon is Let's Players or self-proclaimed reviewers going on well after the video should end.
This is particularly notable in Transformers Review? with an elaborate skit based on destroying a Famicom game.
nacho where the "content" is done at the three-minute mark, but the player spends seven more minutes goofing around the level just to round out the YouTube time limit.
In Kickstarter Nonstarters: Androx, Demon of Fire, the creator accidentally moves the game window out of video capture range, showing the title bar, and then moves it back in. This is not edited out of the video. He then runs into a missing warp event when trying to go through a door, and rerecords the footage having inserted the warp, but also without removing the old footage. Keep in mind that as part of a Kickstarter page, the video was meant to encourage people to fund the game's development.
Diabetus: "I need to get a little bit of advertising in this gold, in case you forgot this game." slowbeef: "If you fund this, you will be able to minimize the window during gameplay. Just wanted to show that feature off."
Cobra himself delivers one near the end of the Space Adventure Cobra. Retsupurae, upon learning that the Ultimate Weapon is an ostrich egg with an eye. That turns into a sword. And a gun. And a battleship. Yeah.
Subverted with the Pin and Kit channel, where one of the commentators is a furry himself.
Arguably invoked in their Darkseed II Wrongupurae where they compare Mike Dawson to being that world's equivalent of a H. R. Giger furry given his creepy obsession with the various biomechanical women in the dark world.
Although the original, somewhat unknown account was "retsupray".
The correct spelling would have been retsupurei (レツプレイ).
In the actual riff videos, the duo mock BurningHunter's overuse of the word "minna" (Japanese for everyone) and believe he's trying to impress a girl named Mina by making awful Mega Man Let's Plays.
Improv: Some of the riffs done are usually made on the first take. Most of the time, one or more of the commentators have watched the video beforehand with an idea of what to say but it's still improvised at the end.
In Name Only: slowbeef and Diabetus have a lot of fun with Super Don Quixote's... loose interpretation of the source material. note Basically the only things it has in common with the book are Pancho and his mule and the main character's name (Don Quixote is an aging loser in the book, while in the game he's a strapping young Knight in Shining Armor).
It's worth noting that slowbeef essentially invented the hobby. And that's because it makes this all the more hilarious - two prolific LPers, including the man who effectively started it all, being told they should try to make Let's Plays and see how hard it is or somesuch.
Also, one of the Newgrounds comments for Metroid Elements brings up a lot of legitimate complaints about the Metroid Flash game, only for the author to respond with this trope.
the_exp: (in text) ok. How about i label all the code REAL well, then give you the FLA file AND YOU implement the changes and still have a game that runs. slowbeef: (out loud) How 'bout you actually do that? I fuckin' dare you... I would love that. I'm sayin' that to him like he's watching this, but...
Mood Dissonance: During the first "Slowbeef's House of Horror", the protagonist of the story just witnessed his friend getting killed at the hands of the game. And spent the night in a Hotel, during which he smashes his laptop and goes to sleep to see if he has the same nightmare he's been plagued with since he started playing. After he wakes up from the sleep he goes on to say how he was having the best day he's had in months, much to slowbeef's chargin.
Chip and Ironicus in turn have done traditional MSTings of several Newgrounds videos (including part of the Xin series) and the FanimeElemental Goddess along with their videos on YouTube LPs.
The Retsufrash and Wrongpurae videos from slowbeef and Diabetus are riffs on the games themselves; the former category targets Flash games and animations on Newgrounds while the latter provides commentary over longplays.
This came full circle with the Wrongpurae of Shinobi-X; the longplay footage is mostly comprised of cutscenes telling a typical ninja-movie story.
Likewise with Metroid: Other M, in which the duo riffs the game's "Theater Mode" rather than the gameplay itself, since their focus is on the abysmal story.
No Ending: A common staple in the featured LPs, where some don't bother to finish their recording proper and end up with them being cut off mid-sentence.
Ferr: ...Wait, he's saying something! Shhh!—Oh wait, it ended.
slowbeef: "Luwigii Master, why? Why is no one going to hear this when the video mysteriously cuts off at the five minute mark?"
slowbeef also edits out a part of the Darkseed II longplay where Mike finally wins the ring toss game, because they would never allow it.
Several Let's Players have taken down the Let's Plays or outright closed their account after getting mocked by Retsupurae.
David John-Bores (the person who recorded Meet'N'Fuck Kingdom for slowbeef and Diabetus) commented on the video that he censored the king's erection with a picture of slowbeef's face. This ended up being covered up by a user review.
Implied by PewDiePie fans about the "Adults React to PewDiePie". They believe the goons "cherry-picked" moments in his videos when, in reality, that was definitely not the case.
slowbeef: The laws of probability state that either I am the luckiest motherfucker in the world, or there is an issue that really needs to be addressed.
Red Oni, Blue Oni: What they speculate how a team-up between Billy MC and Musclebomber would be like, with Musclebomber being the Red Oni and Billy being the Blue one.
The main two themselves. slowbeef is quick to upset and can get passionate when he criticizes someone or something, while Diabetus almost always stays collected, and is noted as being near impossible to anger. Diabetus even mentions this in Retsutalk #17 (calling himself the superego and slowbeef the id)
Chip and Ironicus could also count; Ironicus is usually calm and deadpan, while Chip tends to be more energetic.
Rouge Angles of Satin: Frequently in Newgrounds reviews. To add to the hilarity, the riffers usually pronounce the typos when they read it aloud. Meet 'N' Fuck: Star Mission alone has one guy who talks about fucking your finance while another said that the game made his cook steam.
In a few BillyMC videos, the guys spend a good half of their lengths repeatedly saying "BILLY!" in either awe, encouragement, or disappointment.
Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Two instances. One when they refuse to do a DeceasedCrab video, and another when they get halfway through a barely audible Contra III LP before giving up. They also get about halfway through Plumbers Don't Wear Ties before abruptly ending it; Word of God says the game ran out of things to mock shortly afterwards.
Chip and Ironicus start on a Minish Cap LP, but when the LPer says his cat is addicted to human sweat just one minute into the video they immediately give up.
Small Name, Big Ego: Many LPers respond badly to being Retsupuraed, with reactions ranging from angry threats to flagging the videos for copyright infringement.
A few of the flash authors on Newgrounds, who respond to any criticism with mocking insults or challenges to make something better.
This trope is inverted by SSoHPKC when he said in a Vlog that he enjoys Retsupurae, and saw it as sort of an honor to be Retsu'd, and averted by BlackMetalGhost who used his being Retsu'd as a guide on what to and not to do.
One of the videos RP'd by slowbeef and Diabetus consisted of this as well, where the author made a deliberately awful video just so that they could be retsupuraed (the terrible commentary and clipping audio, contrasted with the fantastic picture quality, is already a big hint). This video was removed from their account, because the pair agreed that having someone make a horrible video just so that they could be retsupuraed is "really gay". For the curious, it's still available here.
There's also this video, a parody of the video responses calling out Retsupurae for making fun of LPers.
slowbeef: "No, no, no. Drop this guy, end of proposal. That's all I have. My PowerPoint's one slide..." Diabetus: "slowbeef, why do you have a 25-slide presentation?" slowbeef: "Because it's the same thing copy-pasted." Diabetus: "Oh, you copy-pasted it 25 times." slowbeef: "Yes, that's right." Diabetus: "Including your title slide and conclusion slide." slowbeef: "I am the Tim Buckley of proposals."
During their Earnest Evans video, one of the game's anime cutscenes features a camera angle centered on the corner of a jail cell, and the angles of the floor and walls appear to be way out of whack...or, as slowbeef puts it:
slowbeef: "'Jail', by Tim Buckley."
In Retsupurae 3000, slowbeef comments that a logo on a secretary's desk resembles the Ctrl+Alt+Del logo. His next sentence begins with "Speaking of bad art..."
Viewing the original version has now been classified as procedure 111-Montauk, and is now how we traumatize that girl from SCP-231 instead, because that whole entry was terrible. Seriously, this wiki was supposed to be creepy horror stories, right? That one was just gross.
The "Video Game Therapist" short is a dig at people getting angry over Dina Abou Karam, an outspoken feminist, being part of the Mighty No. 9 team and supposedly trying to change the game to reflect her views.
In the final part of "Ambition Babies", choices the player makes during the first scene overall have no effect on how the second scene plays out. slowbeef's reaction: "Choice is meaningless, it's Mass Effect all over again!"
deathskul: u cant kill anything u shod make it easier to kill the crechers i attack the crechers as mush as i possibly can and they don't die kennsj: They should make English easier for you, too. I'll let them know.
Angrish: When a character is somehow locked inside a car during Pursuit, Proteus is reduced to a sputtering wreck:
Proteus: How... how did... how is she locked in... th... she j... ho... but tha... but... you can't... slowbeef: I know you can't. Proteus: You can't—! slowbeef: I— I know! Not in any modern car in the world!
In their Retsupurae of The Nostalgia Critic doing an LP of Bart's Nightmare, they speculate that he even writes in Angrish. In general, they frown upon this being used in LPs due to their dislike of exaggerated commentaries.
Protagonist: "[looks at the screen] Bollocks." slowbeef: "But see, look at- is that a fourth wall?" Diabetus: "'Bollocks'? Is that where you have the goofy sitcom music play? [hums goofy sitcom music]" slowbeef: "On the next episode of Bollocks..." Diabetus: "We'll be right back with more Arrival in Hell II!"
The Atoner: slowbeef jokes that Retsupurae is his retribution for being responsible for YouTube's terrible LPs in a Majora's Mask riff.
Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: In this video, Diabetus finally starts piecing together that the game is taking place in Nazi Germany, and questions whether or not it's a good idea to make jokes over such a touchy topic... until slowbeef points out the inflating and deflating cat in the corner of the screen.
It's also suggested as why the villains in Crime Patrol keep jumping out of cover to shoot you:
slowbeef: You know what it is? It's not that we're a great cop, we have this beautiful gun that everyone just wants to take a look at.
The Let's Player of B-mer-mine is interpreted as this, as his video recording skips over every other couple of seconds of gameplay.
A Winner Is You: Most of the Flash games they riff on, but probably the worst offender is "Metroid; Beginings" [sic]. After possibly hours of struggling with frustrating controls, floaty mechanics, and a whole crapload of game breaking bugs, defeating the final boss, Dark Samus, causes her to explode... and that's it. No credits, No Ending, the game just sort of ends with Samus trapped in an empty room. (The poor guy who played the game for them actually went into the .swf file using a decompiler to confirm this.)
slowbeef seems to have developed one towards Crafting in RPGs.
Big Guy, Little Guy: Speculating on what would happen if MuscleBomber2021 and BillyMC formed a superhero duo.
Blatant Lies: slowbeef likes to tell Diabetus about ridiculous future events in whatever video games they're commenting on, which are obviously false. Subverted slightly in that sometimes he's telling the truth. This is brought up by Diabetus.
Diabetus: "See, I can't tell if you're lying or not." slowbeef:[snickers]
Bold Inflation: Diabetus sometimes uses this to directly contrast with the ridiculousness of the video game.
Diabetus: (during the punching-bag minigame) DEAD TO RIGHTS! Diabetus: (while navigating the"Labyrinth of Bullshit") KING'S QUEST SIX! Diabetus: (during the "Dance of the Bones") THE QUEST OF KINGS! Diabetus: (when an ornate dragon statue rises to cover up a safe) RISE OF THE DRAGON! Diabetus: (after Mookie and Sharon play an April Fools' joke on John Mayor) DEEP FEAR!
The guys also joke about this in their wrongpurae of King's Quest VII: The Princeless Bride, claiming that the reason Valanice cries every time the player uses the comb is because it has the King's Quest VII logo on it, and as such reminds her that she's in King's Quest VII.
Buffy Speak: In this LP Diabetus gets rather irritated at the player for, amongstother things, using a legit strategy with a weapon and then forgetting about it in the middle of the level:
(Progressively increasing in irritation) "Just use the invisi-chameleon sting... charge up... thing! You know, you just used it BEFORE!"
Butt Monkey: Tyler, ActionBastardAway's special guest, who spends the entire video rarely speaking, being berated, and being called "a petty douchebag." Diabetus has mentioned Tyler in multiple videos whenever a guest appears in a video for the sole purpose of silently remaining in the background to take the blame for the LPer's own mistakes.
Slowbeef played through the Arise series. During the third game of the series, he had to speak in an extreme Motor Mouth manner because of the game's imposed time limit. Eventually Diabetus called him Cornshaq.
Cargo Ship: Invoked in "Cool Minecraft Audio Mods"; the horrid sound quality coupled with the strange grunting noises the LPer makes partway through the video has the two hypothesize that he's attempting to fellate his microphone.
Cassandra Truth: In the Metroid: Other M retsupurae, slowbeef starts foreshadowing that the little furby-like creature is actually Ridley by giving it the Ridley voice from their Metroid Prime LP. After a few minutes of this, Diabetus responds with "I think I understand what you're inferring, but I have a hard time believing it."
Catchphrase: slowbeef's "Oh my lord" and "God almighty".
In many Wrongpuraes, when there is an illogical puzzle, nonsensical plot twist, or something similar, slowbeef will say something along the lines of "Oh, shut the fuck up!" or "Fuck this game!" There's also sarcastic praise like "This is the greatest game ever!" or "Stunning!" for moments that are particularly goofy or complete wastes of time.
slowbeef also tends to say "Wait, was that editing?" when there's a sudden cut (mainly when it seems out-of-place given the rest of the video).
Diabetus seems to be fond of "Makes you think, doesn't it?"
Diabetus also frequently says "SPRING BREAK!" when pretending to be excited.
Diabetus also has "so, there's that" and "that <verb>s my <noun>!"
slowbeef: I actually wish GameMaster would come in and deck this guy. Diabetus:[groan] slowbeef: ...Is that enough Retsupurae memes? Diabetus: I think we covered just about everything.
Subverted eventually, in a video where slowbeef and Diabetus guest-commentated on Vicas' playthrough of Super Mario 64 with his feet, on Tick Tock Clock, and specifically pointed out how they got through all of it without any Electrical Beast jokes.
slowbeef: Not everything can be about Retsupurae.
A minute into the first Darkseed II Wrongpurae video, Diabetus mentions that the only thing he knew about the game is that there was a head explosion at some point. note slowbeef had previously done a screenshot LP of Darkseed II, and "every slowbeef LP has a head explosion" He also suggests that the painkillers prescribed to Mike Dawson are Shinobix.
Early in the Metroid: Other M wrongpurae, when the subtitles have the Bottle Ship's name in all-capitals, Diabetus shouts something about Snatchersnote that game too printed important words in all-capitals; the duo responded during their LP of that game by shouting those words every time they appeared.
In the video that makes fun of DarkSydePhil, there's a scene where he forgets to unequip the coolant spray and has the misfortune of getting into a firefight with it. In the riff on Hard Edge, there's a scene where coolant gases fills the room from several locations, causing Diabetus to joke that DSP is attacking the player character.
Corpsing: slowbeef often bursts into laughter during the 'Crappy Pasta' videos.
Creepy Monotone: slowbeef does this when reading the "Crappy Pastas" in order to make them seems a little creepier than they are. Comes back to bite him during his reading of I HATE YOU when he and his guests spend nearly a minute clearing up some confusion in the reading caused by slowbeef's lack of inflection.note The reading goes "multi-million (billion?) dollar franchise", but slowbeef reads it as "multi-million-billion dollar franchise"
Creepypasta: The "Crappy Pasta" series riffs on some particularly awful video game pastas.
Critical Existence Failure: Taken to a ludicrous extreme in It Came From The Desert, where the people being attacked by ants can lose several body parts including all their vital organs but will be fine as long as the player kills all the ants before they are completely eaten.
Cyborg: For some reason, the duo assumes that cyborgs are completely robotic, instead of living beings augmented by cybernetics.
Daft53: "Damn you, Ketsukov!" slowbeef: "What? Who the Hell's—" Daft53: "Ketsukov, it's the guy who invented Tetris." slowbeef: "NO IT ISN'T, IT'S ALEXEY PAJITNOV, YOU FUCK! ...Oh why did I say that on camera?"
Distracted by the Sexy: The PewDiePieepisode featured both slowbeef and Diabetus on camera. In between PDP's fans and RP's fans arguing back and forth, a significant number of comments were about how hot Diabetus is.
Does Not Know His Own Strength: Said of King Graham from King's Quest V when he tries to tap a staff on the fortress door to open it, but ends up shattering it.
Narrator: "The staff lies in several broken pieces on the steps." Diabetus: "Several? Jeez, Graham." slowbeef: "Grandpa, what the hell is wrong with King Graham?" "Graham does not know his own strength."
Dude, Not Funny!: In-Universe: Diabetus has this reaction in parts 3 and 4 of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream, asking slowbeef how he's expected to joke about the Nimdok and Ellen's scenarios, which are about the holocaust and rape respectively. They sidestep this problem both times by having Diabetus play dumb for most of the videos - when he 'figures it out' for the former, he has this reaction until he gets distracted by one of Nimdok's creations, and in the latter he stages a huge argument with slowbeef over general grievances he's had with the show (and promptly dropping them once Ellen defeats the rapist).
Dumb Muscle: Their interpretation of MuscleBomber2021, based primarily on his voice.
Easy-Mode Mockery: Played with. Both slowbeef and Diabetus have said that they'd rather watch a competently done Let's Play on an "easy" difficulty than one at "normal" or "hard" difficulty where the LPer spends most of their time getting killed. That being said, they won't hesitate to mock an LPer who chooses the easiest setting of a game that's regarded as being pretty easy to begin with.
Just about every minor NPC in Cobra: Space Adventures. But especially Rock Knight.
In King's Quest VI, Jollo, hands down. They even spend the last seven minutes of this video quoting Dr. House in his voice.
Made all the more amazing by the fact that Jollo ends up saving the day at the last second.
Exact Time to Failure: slowbeef on Arise 3: You know what I really hate? When you're at the doctor's office and he says 'You have exactly ten minutes to live.'
Exactly What It Says on the Tin: "Meet 'N' Fuck Kingdom". slowbeef uses this as his justification for essentially ignoring the playthrough entirely and reading reviews instead.
slowbeef: You meet her, you fuck her. It's Meet 'N' Fuck Kingdom! slowbeef: We met her. That means we all know what's gonna happen next.
Fail O'Suckyname: Hammerbolt Joe and Crystal Boy, from the Space Adventure Cobra longplay.
slowbeef: Is this supposed to make me afraid of Crystal Boy? Because his name is still Crystal Boy.
Soldier Boyz has squad members Butts, Lamb and Brophy.
Fan Disservice: The general reaction to seeing Luke McCabe at the end of the Crime Wave RP in nothing but a speedo. But just to subvert things, the president's daughter then sits up from behind him in a bikini.
Utilized shamelessly in the Space Adventure CobraSega CD game longplay. Then again, if you're familiar with the manga, this is to be expected.
A rather blatant display of such in the Crime Wave RP, where McCabe's crime computer displays an animated model of the president's beautiful daughter nude (but cropped), whereas the male villains are only displayed as a few static photos, fully clothed.
slowbeef: If you get one and a half stars on the fuckin' internet, that's like being at the Special Olympics and having them tell you, "you have to leave".
One running theme of Restufrash is that games on Newgrounds will often have overwhelmingly positive review scores no matter how bad they are. Perfect or near-perfect scores are handed out like candy, even if the people giving the ratings have a lot of complaints about the game, had nothing good to say about the game, completely hate it or never even finished the game.
Bizarrely inverted with one Jack French review which described the game as "one of the best detective games" while giving it a score of a half star out of five.
The "Sonic Boom City" retsufrash covers a game that literally does not work, and as such has multiple zero-star reviews. Then they find one person "gave [it] the benefit of the doubt" and rated it two and a half.
Funny Background Event: "Serious Dad" has a child repeatedly walking throughout the video in the beginning, which the RPers notice immediately. This is subverted when the LPer shows his kid how to play the game, then triple subverted when he leaves and never shows up again.
GIS Syndrome: Pointed out in the Lechuza RP. In the respective Something Awful thread, the goons went out of their way to find almost every single image asset used in the game from across the internet, using Google Image Search.
Pretty much every Jump Scare in the Arise series is a Halloween mask lifted from GIS. Yes, even the John McCain head.
Text: Mobile Riders in the flames of hell! Diabetus: "Mobile Riders in the Flames of Hell" is the name of my band, actually.
Also, during the MuscleBomber2021 RP:
slowbeef: ROCK ENEMIES! They're not Rock Amies! Diabetus: "Rock Amy is my favorite band!"
A variant: In "Assjoe's Silent Hill", PA Master makes reference to a walkthrough in the comments section that chooses to refer to a specific event as "the ghost revenge". Mr. DJB notes that he would love to watch a movie or play a game given that title.
Gorn: Several of the subjects of Crappy Pasta overuse gorn in an attempt to create horror, such as Ihsoy and Blood Whistle.
Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Lechuza's protagonist at one point shouts "Holy schmuck!", much to the amusement of Diabetus and slowbeef.
The standard sci-fi "Blast!" curse was used in Space Adventure Cobra. Not long after saying "Holy shit!" This inconsistency was not lost on Diabetus.
Diabetus: Hold on, how can you say "Holy shit!" and then "Blast!"? Diabetus in mock voice: Holy shit consarn it!
Guilty Pleasures: The Apocalypse video is no doubt this for slowbeef and Diabetus. Despite all the bad puns, barely paying any attention to the longplay, and slowbeef actually apologizing in the video tags, they both genuinely have a lot of fun firing pop culture reference after pop culture reference.
Mike Dawson: I don't think Ik and Uk are going to molest me anymore.
Have a Nice Death: During their King's Quest V wrongpurae, they joke about the game's death messages and come up with their own. Diabetus later jokes that the narrator is incapable of feeling empathy towards Graham.
Narrator:(after Graham falls off a branch and breaks his neck) Thanks for playing King's Quest V! slowbeef: That's the death message? That's like, "Thanks for buying our product, here's a bullshit death." Diabetus: "You wasted money on this. So here you go! Have some bullshit!"
Mario, Party of One? has some strange noises coming from the background of the Let's Player's video. slowbeef and Diabetus think it sounds like dishes.
The overly loud, almost unsettlingly cheery town music, and to a lesser extent the calmer remix used in shops, from King's Quest V has this effect on them.
Diabetus: Kuroinokaze recorded this just for us... to kill us!
LP Mario 64... very slowly have them worried for the computer the LP was played on due to the fact that it sounded like it was just roaring to keep up with the emulator.
The most prevalent being "Meet N' Fuck Kingdom", which managed to show up in the list for three RP subjects (Hug Me To The Skies, Arrival In Hell II and Metroid Elements). ChipCheezum announced he's doing a Let's Play of it here. Though he could be joking...
slowbeef beats him to it.
Hiccup Hijinks: Diabetus gets the hiccups around the second half of the Dark Seed Wrongpurae. Some YouTube comments were all too eager to share their remedies, such as ingesting a spoonful of peanut butter. Of course, slowbeef lampshades it a few times.
Hidden Depths: When slowbeef and Diabetus attended The Runaway Guys' panel at PAX 2012, which was a video game "game show" hosted by ProtonJon, the capture software kept crashing in full view to the audience, causing a lot of awkwardness on Jon's part. Of course, slowbeef recorded it all on camera and MSTed the entire debacle with Diabetus for all to see on YouTube. However, despite such, slowbeef adds at the very end of the video that he felt sorry for him as he considers Jon to be one of the nicest LPers he knows and told him he felt the panel to be a success despite the technical difficulties, and that later panels have improved considerably.
Also worth noting is that, even though they have made jokes about people with Autism (par the norm for Something Awful) in a handful of Wrongpuraes (usually in regards to protagonists in adventure games), they were expressly uncomfortable when they heard that QueenieZ, a person they riffed on, had the disorder. They even sent her an apology.
Proteus has demonstrated acts beyond his apparent jerkassitude. One notable example is in his return in "Lavos, You Can Go Ahead and Get Started". One YouTube comment expressed his disdain for Proteus, to which Proteus himself commented back to everyone to not flame the guy for expressing his opinion.
Hilariously Abusive Childhood: They theorize SergmanX has an abusive father who forces him to make Let's Plays. They also have similar theories about BillyMC.
The game Apocalypse, starring Bruce Willis, was subject to a few dozen bad Puns based on Bruce's movie titles. They finally ran out at about 18 minutes, and just start with random names of movies and TV shows. For the entire rest of the video.
Hypocrite: Watch slowbeef's LP of Metroid Prime 2: Echoes and count how often he does things that he complains about the most as a part of Retsupurae. He at least seemed to be aware of it after he made the LP.
In Space Adventure Cobra, the main character's internal monologue calls Crystal Boy a chicken-shit due to his apparent tendency to shoot when your back is turned. Immediately after this text appears, the longplayer selects "Flee" from the dialogue tree, prompting slowbeef to ask who the chicken-shit was here.
slowbeef, during the retsufrash period, repeatedly mocks Newgrounds as a site for degenerates with a penchant for scatalogical humor. But he has no problem buying The Binding of Isaac, a game created by Newgrounds users, which even displays the Newgrounds logo in the intro. Not to mention the content of the game itself.
During OMF Gcata's I Wanna be the Guy: Gaiden LP, cata wonders why the player character instantly dies when he touches the water. slowbeef then mocks him for believing that video games should mirror real life. This despite the fact that slowbeef himself often nitpicks at common video game mechanics. (Diaries with only one entry, gaining ammunition from corpses, predetermined pathing, etc.)
During the riff of BlazeDragon132, Psychedelic Eyeball is among those making fun of the guy's voice. Psychedelic's accent is far worse than that of the person he's making fun of.
Hard to tell if it's intentional or if this just slipped slowbeef's mind, but in the DeceasedCrab video, one of slowbeef's criticisms is that he "can't f-ing believe [DeceasedCrab] let's played the same game twice". slowbeef let's played Snatcher twice (albeit in different mediums).
At the end of a Pokemon retsupurae, after slowbeef complains about how the LPer is just spewing nonsense and memes, Diabetus does the usual "Dead to Rights" ending which has become a meme in their own fanbase. slowbeef immediately points out the hypocrisy of this, then says it himself.
Courtroom official: She was seen leaving around 9:30pm. (A giant pocketwatch swings back and forth) ... slowbeef: I feel like I've been hypnotized watching this. (the watch disappears) Diabetus: "You want to play better game" - oh.
Diabetus: I need more alcohol. slowbeef: We all do.
In "Pinball Wizards' Growing Pains," Diabetus has to do commentary alone for a brief period during which slowbeef gets up to make a drink.
In "Adults React to PewDiePie," one of the viewers says nothing and instead pours a drink and face palms.
I Need to Go Iron My Dog: At the end of "Mario, Party of One?", when talking about nice comments they should leave Joshey164, this exchange happens:
Diabetus: "Please invite me to your next party." slowbeef: Don't go that far, I'm not coming. Diabetus: No, no, I got a thing actually. During his next party I have a... I'm busy. slowbeef: I've got a really cool Wario Party to go to.
Dave_o: "She is dumber than a cat." Diabetus: "That's an insult to cats everywhere." slowbeef: "Yeah, dude, what do you have against cats?"
In the "True Shit" Wrongpurae, when Diabetus comes up with the alternate title "BillyMC the Kid" for the "game", slowbeef immediately goes into Sincerity Mode and claims that Billy (or anyone else for that matter) could have made a better game.
He has a similar comment after mentioning someone calling Mike Dawson a "grown up Billy MC".
During the Metroid Beginings [sic] retsufrash, slowbeef says he can't make a "better than Other M" joke, because that's an insult to Other M. Keep in mind his scathing wrongpurae of Other M, and you'll get an idea of just how bad Beginings is.
Ironic Echo: One of the many ways the duo riffs on the LPer.
It's Personal: One reason for the Resupurae of the Policenauts review was that it was apparently posted on a thread regarding slowbeef's translation hack which he was still working on at the time, even worse was that it was apparently full of spoilers in the gameplay shown such as solutions to puzzles during the video these moments are blacked out by slowbeef.
Jason White: A See-ko Chronograph diving watch. They come expensive those watches. slowbeef: I think that's Say-ko, chief.
In Super Bummerman 2, musclebomber2021 pronounces 'throw' as 'fow', 'bomb' as 'bum', 'enemy' as 'amy', and numerous others. The Retsupurae duo have a field day with him.
slowbeef:Fow his bums? At his amies?!
slowbeef catches himself on almost mispronouncing H. R. Giger's name ("gee-ger") as 'geiger' in the Dark SeedWrongpurae, which Diabetus is quick to comment on:
Diabetus: I've checked his volume of work, his Giger counter...
He does so a few more times in the DarkSeed II Wrongpurae, though he again corrects himself every time, this time without any jokes from Diabetus. He also refers to Mario a few times throughout it, sometimes as "Mary-O" and sometimes normally.
The Eternal Darkness RP, Queenie Z pronounces the subtitle "Sanity's Re-KWEE-um, placing heavy emphasis on the second syllable.
slowbeef pronounces horrible with a long "A" sound at the beginning, making it sound more like "har-ible".
slowbeef: This is like a snuff film, somehow! Look at the camera angle! It's like you're in his lap! And he's eating the pizza rolls off you! Proteus: You're balanced on his PENIS... that he hasn't seen in YEARS...
ActionBastard lives up to the latter part of his name in the Monster In My Pocket when he continuously bullies his friend, Tyler, over not being as good at the game.
Jerkass Ball: A handful of their commentaries (mostly their early ones) actually get personal and insult the people that made the Let's Plays they're riffing on. This has pretty much gone away, but it noticeably came for the episode on Doug Walker.
Jitter Cam: "Skyrim's Enigma Mod" has this effect, caused by the player using YouTube's camera stabilization feature on gameplay footage recorded from Fraps. It leaves slowbeef absolutely stunned and demanding an explanation, and draws comparisons to The Office.
Diabetus: Let's just never speak about this again.
slowbeef closes out the end of the "Poorkour" series with this.
Lost Forever: "Porkemon", a video of them making fun of a furry that got an account temporarily banned, but was considered Worth It by those who watched it.
The events of their livestream test late in March 2010 were never recorded since slowbeef either forgot or didn't bother to have them archived. Thankfully, a YouTube user by the name of dainegai saved the livestream retsupuraes on his channel.
The RP of UltraJMan may not be completely lost, but is at least hard to find.
A recent RP of the two riffing on a video of the Battle Subway in Pokémon Black and White was up for only a few hours before suddenly disappearing, with posts referencing it gone due to the original LPer kindly requesting all traces of the riff removed in order to not harm his community. As there's no mirror upload of it as of now, you had to be lucky to catch it while it was up.
Loads and Loads of Loading: thehof's LP of Half-Life: Blue Shift consists of nothing but this and blindingly bright graphics, probably due to the fact that he's playing this on the never officially released (i.e. hacked) Dreamcast version.
Ludicrous Precision: The creepypastas treat measurements of time this way, writing things like "This continued for 25 seconds" or "I sat there for maybe 25 seconds, horrified by what had just happened." Even funnier, the times themselves are often implausible, like spending 10 minutes running Mario down a featureless corridor.
Manipulative Editing: In their Retsupurae of Dark Seed 2, slowbeef edits out the main character finally winning at the ring toss carnival game, replacing it with a clip of one of his earlier failures. He claimed Mike Dawson would never win under their watch.
Rock Knight from the RP of Cobra's Space Adventures, who barely shows up in the game at all, but is the Batman of the game universe in terms of skill according to slowbeef and Diabetus. invoked
Mondegreen: A few non-musical examples from the Rise of the Dragon RP:
Chang Li: It is also known by my humble self, and others, that you are investigating this affair. Blade Hunter: What others?... Diabetus: "Whatevers"? ...Did he just say "whatevers"?? [...] Blade Hunter: ...It seems he gave her some bad juice. Diabetus: Some bad Jews? Blade Hunter: ...It's bad with a capital 'B'. slowbeef: I think "juice"... Wait—"bad with a captial 'V'?" Diabetus: No, no, I think the game's just really racist.
They themselves have one of these moments, when they mishear Electrical Beast's introduction as "The Giant of Let's Plays" rather than "The Jolteon of Let's Plays."
HarmfulGravemind: Now comes... Wendy Koopa! Diabetus: Friendly Koopa? slowbeef: (imitating the LPer's accent) Friendly Koopa! Diabetus: That's a misnomer, sir.
In A Public Service Announcement For Let's Players, one of the lines slowbeef says, "Second he was going to towel himself- Please Stop Lets Playing I Wanna Be The Guy." The word "towel" is frequently misheard, misread and miswritten as "tell" thanks to some unfortunate comedic timing of the situation. He's actually reading the first chapter of American Gods, at the point where Shadow considers taking a bath and toweling himself off.
Morality Chain: BillyMC quickly becomes this to the notoriously vitriolic Proteus, who describes him as his "one soft spot."
Proteus: Somebody's gotta care about Billy, why not me.
Motor Mouth: Aside from Memetic Badass Cornshaq, slowbeef himself becomes one during his playthrough of the timed Arise 3, much to the confusion of Diabetus — and the viewers — since he had exactly 10 minutes to cure a letalvirus.
Proteus4994 also did his version of this in a response to the Cornshaq video.
slowbeef does it again in "Let's Pl-.............aypokemonwithnoaudio," where his narration has to race to cover the dialogue before it vanishes from the screen — and often fails. For bonus points, he sometimes has to pause mid-sentence due to the video lagging.
Ms. Fanservice: Brittany Cole in the Crime Wave Wrongpurae. The blatant fanservice is repeatedly mocked by the duo, who interpret it as a sleazy porn flick going on throughout the game.
Nazi Gold: slowbeef speculates that this is how NAVGTR's company was funded.
Diabetus: How did this guy get business? slowbeef: I don't believe that he could have!
Never Live It Down: An early scene in Space Adventure Cobra gives the player the option to look at the female lead's feet. Retsupurae's In-Universe characterization of Cobra immediately became that of an obsessive foot fetishist who may or may not actually care what the feet are connected to. Of course, it didn't help that Cobra described them as "A work of art".
The duo is certainly not letting ProtonJon forget that he was tricked into doing an LP of a Super Mario World romhack because he heard that the maker was dying of Leukemia (which he faked). Every video that he's commentated in features this as a punchline towards the end of the video, with two of said videos being nothing but the punchline.
Nightmare Face: Generally averted in the Lechuza RP, which the pair summed up as essentially being Arise without the pop-scare JPGs. But ironically, the title screen may unintentionally startle some viewers (Like it did to Diabetus. Twice.) as it depicts the protagonist of the game wearing a wide-eyed expression, pouting fish-lips, covered with dirt and wearing slovenly clothes.
slowbeef: OK, so he called it "Let's Play" but he's not really talking. He called it Worms but it's not Worms. So "Part 1" is maybe the only truthful part of this except there's no "Part 2" yet and I guess judging by that, there never will be!
No Indoor Voice: Shmorky, another one of their fellow goons who has guested on some early RPs.
slowbeef: It's all censored, so you can watch this at work...although, I would not recommend doing so. Diabetus: Are you sure about that? "Johnson, what are you doing over there? Oh, that looks fine." slowbeef: I'm watching Meet 'N' *erp* Kingdom!
Not So Stoic: Diabetus is known for being one of the calmest of slowbeef's co-commentators. When he breaks, something has gone very wrong. For example, in the Darkseed II Wrongpurae, when the longplayer traverses through a boring mirror maze for the umpteenth time and then edits it so Mike actually goes backwards through part of it:
Diabetus: Wait, was there editing there? slowbeef: Yes. Diabetus: ...Editing what?! More mirror maze? "Wow, I got through that a little too quickly that time."
Oh, Crap: During the RP The Marios, this is the trio's general reaction when the creator of the bad LP in question, LuwiigiMaster, disses Retsupurae during his LP. Diabetus later comments that he should pre-screen LPs before bringing the gang over to riff them. If one reads the comments, the guy apparently was trying to purposely make a So Bad, It's Good video just to get RPed.
Made even more hilarious due to their depiction of said LPer as part of The Mafia.
Older Than They Sound: Noted in ZoopSoul's LP of Mega Man 9, Diabetus asked if this guy is older than 14 only for Proteus to tell him, "He's like 35".
"Are you ready to contend with what's in my pants?" "After I play Buster Brothers I'm gonna bust a nut!" "I'll show you why they call me Big Dong Donkey Kong." "Look in my pants and I'll show you why they call it the Playstation."
The legend continues with the new playlists Retsupurae have made on Youtube, with the description for the "Gaming in the Clinton Years" playlist as:
"When you hit my playlist you'll always wanna select repeat, baby."
Also, starting with the Wrongpurae of Last Alert (and intially meant as a one-off reference to their LP of Dead To Rights: Retribution where they did the same thing), every episode now ends with them both saying "Dead to Rights."
slowbeef: And that's the end of Cobra... Diabetus: All right. slowbeef: ...Episode 5. Diabetus: Shorter let's play than usual but glad the good guys won this time.
Overdrawn at the Blood Bank: Abused in many of the creepypastas featured on Crappy Pasta. To date, Sonic.exe, Ihsoy, Blood Whistle, The Yellow Devil (which takes it to a ludicrous extreme with robots that bleed), the Cooking Mama story, and I HATE YOU all feature ludicrous amounts of blood.
Overly Long Gag: The beginning of Pursuit, where slowbeef and Proteus get stuck in Dialla's apartment for several minutes - and then, as soon as they're actually allowed to leave, immediately get sent right back in for a different plot event.
Diabetus drawing out an "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..." during a particularly long stretch of nothingness in their Darkseed II wrongpurae.
Overused Running Gag: Towards the end of Resident Seavil, slowbeef is annoyed at their running gag of staying quiet for the elevator sequence.
After RPing Joshie164, slowbeef encouraged his fans to give the original video several likes as it only had one dislike. Three days after the RP, the original video had 1,940 likes, and many very enthusiastic comments.
When one of Joshie's friends complained about RP mocking him, the commenters started asking him why he wasn't playing with Joshie. He said they all had lives.
lotrdude13: Too busy to hang out with your best friend? You're not very good friends.
Poe's Law: The guys have a little trouble with this sometimes. For instance, in The Marios they mistake a troll for an actual moron. They decide to start pre-screening videos beforehand after realizing they'd been fooled. In Amnesia: The Dork's Descent, Diabetus and slowbeef argue about whether or not the LPer's hysterical terror is staged - Diabetus is positive that it is, while slowbeef merely hopes so. The fact that the LPer in question, Jenomorph, favorited the video just hours after it was uploaded may support that theory.
They also occasionally have trouble accepting that Gaming In The Clinton Years was a "legitimate" video game show, as opposed to a very elaborate parody.
Let's Play Sonic the Hedgehog, but Second... features SuperBrosTV being wholly incompetent at Sonic the Hedgehog despite having extensively looked at the map of the level at the start of the video and his whole gimmick for the LP being an in-depth walkthrough. Diabetus actually asks multiple times, "is he fucking with us?" He eventually comes to the conclusion that it has to be on purpose, while slowbeef is still unsure by video's end.
Pungeon Master: Diabetus. Referenced by Slowbeef in the Blood Whistle Crappypasta in which Peach makes a couple puns related to the way she killed some of the story's characters ("They got a little sharp with me so I pushed them over the edge). After reading this, Slowbeef says to Diabetus, "She's starting to sound like you."
Purple Prose: Several of the creepypastas they've riffed abuse this. The most notable example is Blood Whistle, which starts out being written normally, then takes this trope to an absurd degree once the author finds the titular whistle.
"Shut up! There are no viewers. No one watched this to the end except me. It is a seriously horrible video, Quadraxis14. There is no skill inreplaying the same thing over and reloading save states over and over again. A monkey could do this. A kid can do this. It doesn't matter I don't know what the point of the video is. I don't know know why you're doing it. It will not make you popular in school. It will not get you girls or anything. It's a waste of time. I'm sorry. I'm taking away from 'On Liberty.'"
Diabetus: What does E.P.I.C. stand for again? Proteus: Epic... something, something, something. slowbeef: It's a recursive acronym.
Reference Overdosed: The guys try to take this trope to the absolute limit in their RP of Apocalypse dropping Bruce Willis movie references (since he starred in the game) for around 20 minutes until they give up and start referencing pretty much anything from pop culture by that point.
Rescue Sex: At the end of Ninja Hayate, after saving the princess, Diabetus tells it as it is.
Princess: My hero! Diabetus: "I'm gonna get laid, hyuh!"
Revenge Fic: The duo theorize that Mike Dawson must have done something to get Cyberdreams mad at him, considering Darkseed II portrays him as the most obnoxious man alive who even the characters in the game can't stand.
slowbeef: Amy must be like this bookworm chick who's into Let's Play, so he's trying to get his nerdy friends to help him do one, so he chose Super Bummerman! Diabetus: That sounds like the makings of the perfect teenage romantic comedy.
When making fun of adventure games, announcing an abrupt end to character interaction with variations of "Okay, bye!"
When a character opens their mouth ridiculously wide, Diabetus starts holding a note as if he were an opera star.
The Ridley voice, which becomes the voice of almost any reptilian enemy.
Diabetus often lampshades the seeming inability of video game characters to speak at a distance. Even when they're standing only a few feet from each other.
King Graham addressing some thugs: Gentlemen, please excuse me, I didn't mean to interrupt you. One thug, standing across a counter two feet from Graham, walks around the counter to Graham. Diabetus: [...] I will come over here and we will resume this conversation. Thug: Da inn's full! Ain't got no more rooms. Diabetus: ...I had to come over here to tell you that.
Diabetus's mentioning of different themes of music (eg. the "return the book to the library theme" in Dark Seed), usually during games that were lucky to have a dozen songs.
slowbeef's using a Mentok-esque "bweeeeee-oop" during teleportation of rapid camera movement.
Some videos incite giggling fits in the commentors at points later in the video. Earnest Evans is the greatest example of this, since the game simply becomes exponentially more ridiculous as time goes on.
King's Quest VII goes from boring them to death to causing them to prattle insanely in impersonations of Joker and Bane.
Sarcasm Failure: "I am sure that someone wants me to come up with something witty to say to this guy, but he is just faaaaat."
Diabetus: This just presents a slew of pun opportunities! I don't know where to start! So I won't.
Scenery Porn: In SnakemanMN Wants to Be the Guy, slowbeef and Dave_O begin to marvel at the amazing detail of the background of I Want to Be the Guy when SnakemanMN pauses the game for two minutes to answer his phone.
Dave_O: You see there's purple bricks; but then there's also... hold on a second... grey ones. slowbeef: Woah, you're right! I would never have noticed that if he hadn't paused the game for a full minute to pick up the phone.
Scotireland: Diabetus and slowbeef have no idea whether the LPer in this video is Scottish or Irish, so they split the difference.
Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Diabetus does this to an extent in part 4 of the "I have no mouth and I must scream" wrongpurae. He is implied to have turned away from the screen during the elevator sequence.
They get about halfway through Plumbers Don't Wear Ties before giving up. When asked, Diabetus later said that the game got so nonsensical that they couldn't make it funny.
Sdrawkcab Name: Abused to hilarious effect in Ihsoy, especially with Hceap Ssecnirp.
Self-Deprecation: In their RP of Policenauts, Diabetus comments that the only thing sadder than reviewing the game would be hacking it. slowbeef, who was working on a translation patch for the game at the time, commented "I'll sa—fuck you."
slowbeef: Look, I know you're from the south, and you don't understand how evolution works, but still... Proteus: He's from the South, so he understands having sex with animals, but these aren't real animals. Diabetus: I'm from the South, and evolution is what happens when Pokemon evolve into the Bible, right?
Near the end of the Nocturnal Letters Retsuflash, Diabetus comes to the conclusion that the titular game was made in the South due to its terrible graphics and Brother-Sister Incest subplot.
Proteus also mocked slowbeef for basically being responsible for most of these:
Separate Scene Storytelling: slowbeef and Diabetus play with this trope by acting as if the video game narrator for King's Quest V is really reading a book to his grandson. The "grandson," who the duo names Billy, then proceeds to ask questions to his grandfather about the oddness of the story.
Shaggy Dog Story: In the Cobra wrongpurae, slowbeef and Diabetus sit through seven hours of the titular character's space adventures, only for it to end with a hurried sequence of events that the pair summarize thusly:
slowbeef: "Your two sisters died for a weapon I just shot...!" Diabetus: "Well, that was all pretty pointless, wasn't it?"
slowbeef: This is the September 11th of Let's Play.
Later on his Formspring account, slowbeef actually said he owed Doug Walker an apology after watching PewDiePie.
Later on, he claimed Tobuscus was even worse than PewDiePie; in the Retsutalk after "Adults React To PewDiePie" he apologized and retracted the statement (though he maintains the opinion that Tobuscus is almost as bad).
In this Formspring post, slowbeef offered an apology to QueenieZ upon hearing that she apparently still receives hate mail and death threats over her Eternal Darkness LP.
A bit more than halfway through "Local Paperboy Calls It Quits!," Diabetus briefly interrupts the riff in order to alleviate Billy's concerns that some of his retsupurae-based viewers don't actually like him:
Diabetus: No one dislikes you, Billy! Like, seriously, unironically, I'm saying that: No one dislikes you. slowbeef: ...It's possible that someone dislikes him— Diabetus:No it's not! No, it's not.
During the Retsufrash of Exmortis, after going through another incredibly long journal, they suggest that the creator write novels or short stories.
Despite finding Harvester to be terrible, they admitted that the simulation being representative of violent video games was interesting social commentary.
About halfway through part 3 of Cobra 3D, the duo point out just how little effort seems to have been put into the game by apologizing to OmegaEdge29 for making fun of his Kaizo Mario 64 romhack's similar lack of effort.
slowbeef: You guys got somethin' other than glass breakin' and fartin'? ...Think I got a siren. Proteus: I don't know, let me see what I can get on freesoundeffects.com. Diabetus: I'm gonna behead a chicken, you got one of them Yak Bak machines?
"Test Your Mig--oh it's over" features a random, TV-style bleep in the middle of the source video. The duo makes fun of this both when it happens and in the post commentary.
Stealth Pun: In this vid, Diabetus suggests that instead of hanging out with Solar Man and getting blazed, he and slowbeef should simply chill, man. Just chill, man. Chill Man is the Robot Master weak to Solar Blaze in Mega Man 10.
Another, less subtle one shows up in the "Let's Rock Out" video with Diabetus commenting "I wonder how long he had to Muse over the song choice before he felt ready." The LP was of Knights of Cydonia, a song by the band.
Suspiciously Specific Denial: The "Meet 'N' Fuck Kingdom" video has all the sex scenes censored out, with the player adding in text lying about what the character was doing.
Narration: "And then they drank tea. They certainly didn't engage in six incredibly frustrating, boring, and shameful sexual mini-games that were so needlessly complex, these three girls are essentially the final bosses of Meet n' Fuck Kingdom. Nope."
slowbeef: "Okay, this is Xenogears. So there's no fucking way you have a Bill Clinton joke." Diabetus:[In faux-Bill Clinton accent] "I'll show you something that's Weltall." [beat] slowbeef:[astounded] "Shit." Diabetus: "Sorry."
Mage Knight: "So thanks for watching us play Pokemon White." Diabetus: "[In Fake Hilda Voice] Who are you talking to?" Mage Knight: "[In his Hilda Voice] Wait, who are you talking to?" slowbeef: "Oh god." Diabetus: "Really?"
During the Escape RP:
slowbeef: "Now to solve this puzzle tout suite. [places sink handle on faucet and turns it on] First we turn on the water..." Proteus: "This might be the least retarded solution for any puzzle in this game yet." slowbeef: "And we're going to stop up the water with the silver coin..." Proteus: "Never mind... spoke too soon..."
During the Arise 4 RF, slowbeef mentions the how easy it is to accidentally click off a window during the game's awful combat sections, while he's fighting one of the enemies. No points for guessing what he does almost immediately afterwards.
slowbeef: *Sigh* "Y'know, maybe I'm making to much of this, maybe it's not that bad. I'm sure it has some appeal and there's probably nothing that terrible in these videos I mean you know—" PewDiePie: "Look! He's raping her, he's raping her!" slowbeef: "I'm sorry, what was that?"
After the end of the mission in Surgical Strike, the protagonist goes to a tropical island to vacation with some bikini babes. DJB responds to this with "it'd be great if these beach girls just startedexploding.They immediately do, courtesy of Kabul.
slowbeef: "They call me The Fister!...Oh, shit, wait, I didn't mean that."
The Tape Knew You Would Say That: Invoked. In Worst Retsupurae Ever, slowbeef remarks on the laziness of the Pokemon animators, saying "They won't care, they already spent their 100 yen!" Later the guys are joking about Kabuto:
Proteus: "What the fuck is a Kabuto? Isn't that that weird kind of Japanese theater where they get all- paint on their face and shit?" slowbeef: "It might as well be." Proteus: "I know somebody's going to leave a fuckin' comment, by the way, that goes, "no you're thinking of Kabuki", so shut up, fuck you, don't even do it." slowbeef: "It's the same person who's gonna go, 'You know, slowbeef, 100 yen's really not a lot of money.'" Proteus: "You know, I hope somebody actually put that fucking comment in before they watched the rest of the video." slowbeef: "They're gonna fuckin' delete it now, I know." Proteus: "You're gonna see like 27 comments have been deleted."
The "That's So Kaizo!" videos gave us this gem:
slowbeef: "Now maybe I'll two-star this video instead...I know someone in the comments is gonna say the stupid thing—alright, fine, thumbs down, or whatever they do on YouTube." Diabetus: "Middle finger, actually."
As the Wrongpurae of the Jurassic Park arcade game draws to a close, slowbeef realizes he's been referring to the Triceratops as a Stegosaurus for the entire game, and suspects everyone will leave comments to correct him. They did.
This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: In the animation Refund, the character screams in a monotone "BITCH, GET THE FUCK OFF ME. DIE, BITCH, DIE. GO TO HELL, YOU LITTLE BITCH, DIE." Later in the video, it provoked the following discussion.
slowbeef: "I— maybe it was, like, how to get a refund... Like, "Don't be afraid to take back your pumpkins." Diabetus: "This is an example of a defective product. Here's what you should do in this situation, bitch."
They also did it before that.
slowbeef: "Why didn't he just put a text that said I WAS DISPLEASED and save some animation?" Diabetus: "MY SHOPPING EXPERIENCE WAS SUBPAR." slowbeef: "Bitch." Diabetus: "Die."
From the Zelda video: "I like to throw in curses every so often, bitch."
Abused by the LPer in slowbeef and @Voidburger's Mario Combat riff. Diabetus mentions that he and the "faggot"-spewing kid from "GOD HATES POOCHYENAS" would probably get along well.
Narration: "Why do I feel so... trapped?" Proteus: "Oh, I see what you did there." slowbeef: "I can't believe that they actually did that."
Later, during the third game of the series they throw in forced title drops to all three games in the series—Trapped, Pursuit and Escape—in immediate succession.
Dialla: "Why do I feel so... trapped?" slowbeef: "W-why do I feel so trapped?!" Proteus: "I feel trapped! Trapped in this pursuit—" both: "—and I have to escape!"
Strangely averted in the Satanorium Retsufrash (one would expect a Newgrounds game with a title like that to be dropping it at every punctuation mark), which causes slowbeef to repeatedly mispronounce it as "sanatorium."
Their riff on Deep Fear had a few fart jokes due to bubbles occasionally appearing behind John Mayor in underwater sections and a theory about air grenades. In part 3 of the wrongpurae, slowbeef brings up an anecdote about someone in his office who is apparently such a Gass Hole it affects other people's productivity.
Troll: "The Marios", which they discover that the LP was intentionally made to be horrible. The total derailment of their commentary is hilarious.
There was another troll video RP at one point. It was an absolutely atrocious Super Mario Bros. 64 LP by "SuperCrazyHealthBar", but this time, when slowbeef and Diabetus realized that he made it intentionally bad to be RP'd, they immediately privitized and cut all ties to it. It's a shame too, since it was a pretty good riffing. (Reuploaded here)
Mostly likely taken down because, while the aforementioned "The Marios" was cleverly done and entertaining to watch on its own, the Mario 64 LP went on for over thirty videos, all of which were nigh-impossible to watch due to the horrific screechy audio.
Troperiffic: How slowbeef and Diabetus describe Jimmy from Dark Seed II, very nearly right down to the name:
Diabetus: I'm sure the guy who calls himself 'the local wiseguy' is, in fact, the local wiseguy. slowbeef: "By the way, I'm quote-unquote 'mobbed up'!" Diabetus: "I'm a bit of a 'loose cannon', they would say!" slowbeef: "If you've ever seen The Sopranos, maybe? I'm like the guy on DVD 2" Diabetus: "You'll find me all overTV Tropes!"
Upon watching the intro movie to Evil Zone, they deduce that the game will feature just about every anime trope possible. Their hypothesis turns out to be more or less accurate.
The Unfavorite: BillyMC whose older brother, JacobMC, is much more liked by his parents. To the point where Billy's Christmas present is two McDonald's French Fries that a hobo rubbed on his armpits. And the dog ate one. "You got JacobMC an Xbox 360!" "Well he's much better at Mario than you, and he's a Harvard graduate."
Conveniently enough, there is a jacobmc channel on Youtube which contains a few regular videos. Nevertheless, every comment section of his videos and profile is filled with avid BillyMC supporters yelling their abuse at the inactive Jacob.
Diabetus really likes to say "Battletoads", by the way - he does it several times completely unprompted during both his Battletoads LPs and his MST of the Battletoads pilot.
As mentioned above, slowbeef demonstrated in "Resident Seavil 2" that his habit of narrating illogical or abrupt story transitions with "Meanwhile, Back at the..." is more deep-seated than he realized when he unsuccessfully attempted to not say it throughout the whole video.
slowbeef says "y'know?" or "know what I mean?" almost constantly in the middle of casual conversation, such as during Retsutalk.
slowbeef: "Now, seriously—you remade the game and you kept these shit puzzles in? Like, you had the whole opportunity!" General Ironicus: It would be really clever and keep people out if he didn't just tape the instructions to the wall right next to it.
Pointed out in the Cobra Wrongupurae when the game showed a flashback to something right after the game told Cobra what had happened
Diabetus: You had to flash back to this? How stupid do you think we are!?
Luwiigi Master: *laughter* "Oh my God, I'm sorry, people, it's just that I keep thinking about all these other Let's Players who, like, got made fun of by Retsupurae..." slowbeef:"Aww, shit!" *commentary proceeds to derail entirely*
A few days earlier than "The Marios" comes this example from "Huzzah!":
slowbeef: "So, I know we were gonna wait until the 9 minute mark, but, um... I-I thi-I think they've seen enough. Should we tell 'em?" Diabetus: "I... Yeah, I- I think; we can't keep this up any longer." slowbeef: "Yeah, uh, we actually haven't been watching any video. We're gonna splice this right over any one of DeceasedCrab's videos."
What the Hell, Hero?: Diabetus gave slowbeef a big one after slowbeef deliberately withheld the Holocaust and rape plot points from him during their riff of I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream, since it resulted in Diabetus accidentally making a lot of bad jokes.
What Did I Do Last Night?: According to slowbeef, he and Diabetus got drunk and woke up to find that they had recorded an hour and a half retsupurae on an LP of Last Alert with no player commentary.
Goldskarr: "Actually, I remember playing [Battletoads] on the Super 'Tendo..." Diabetus: "...The Super Tendo?" slowbeef: "What the hell accent is that?" Diabetus: "Uh, a drunk British person trying to sound American?" slowbeef: "Sounds to me like an American who burned his tongue on soup trying to sound British."
They also have trouble with the main character's accent in Arrival in Hell. They eventually conclude that he's Australian.
Most viewers' reaction to PsychedelicEyeball's accent. note He's French Canadian, if you're wondering.
Their reaction to Mrs. Ramirez in the Wrongpurae of DarkSeed II. They eventually narrow it down form "European Mish-Mash" to "Vaguely Irish/Swedish", but have definitely ruled out any sort of Hispanic accent.
Who's on First?: In "Mass Erect", DJB jokingly interprets Diabetus reading a review by "youngerme" to mean that Diabetus was claiming to have written the review in the past:
Diabetus: by youngerme4427: "sex my favorite" DJB: "Younger me?" You wrote that one, then? Diabetus: Yeah. What can I say? Sex my favorite.
You Didn't See That: In Billy MC's Christmas Adventure, both slowbeef and Diabetus are shocked when it seems that Billy has used a savestate to fix a mistake. They both admonish him and tell him that they'll look away this time... note It was actually a strangely-placed edit.
During the Metroid Beginings [sic] retsufrash, slowbeef and Diabetus log on to Newgrounds to see the review scores.
Diabetus: Alright, I gotta - Three and a half out of five! slowbeef:*laughing* Where? The first one? No, wait...totally? Diabetus: No, I mean, just - aggregate. *Beat* slowbeef: You're kidding me.
You Keep Using That Word: in the KaizoMario 64 videos, they jokingly use "kaizo" an awful lot in many varying contexts. (For the record, it just means "hacked", which nobody can really deny the game in the videos is, no matter how poorly.)
slowbeef: I like how he stole 'kaizo', like that's the ubiquitous term for bad romhacks that are more annoying to play than anything.
Your Head A Splode: This recurring trope of slowbeef's LPs has finally made its presence in Retsupurae in the form of the Dark World counterpart of Mike Dawson's mother, serving as the Dark Seed 2 longplay's only FunnyMoment Of Awesome.
Absentee Actor: slowbeef is not present in Episodes 3 (or its extension, Episode 3.5), 12, and 13. Diabetus is absent in episodes 16 and 32.
Episode 23 does not feature slowbeef or Diabetus, but is done by Ironicus, his fiance, and Chip Cheezum about C2E2.
Badass Boast: Dave_o makes one for slowbeef when discussing how dangerous Camden, New Jersey is, complete with an action voice.
The Ghost: Proteus is apparently slated to show up on the show eventually, but circumstances (including apparently becoming a father) have continuously gotten in the way of him showing up.
Hilarity Sues: In Episode 15, their discussion about Sega turns into this.
It Makes Sense in Context: In Episode 27, the guest Tim Miller tells a short story about how he translated a Shinobi-X video into Japanese and gave the translation to a friend/editor to see if he got everything right. She was apparently quite confused by the line "ninja hand fart", among others.
Obfuscating Stupidity: Discussed in the case of DarkSydePhil, where Diabetus says that Phil possibly plays up his ineptitude because it garners views and reactions. slowbeef however doubts it since Phil acts like that both in and out of games and that it would be fairly difficult to keep up the act all the time without some sign of slipping up.
Poe's Law: Discussed between slowbeef and Woolie in episode 48, where Woolie describes a point where they attempted to parody the trend of LPers relying on overexaggerated reactions only for their fans to mistake it as the real deal and calling them out for it.
Pokémon Speak: slowbeef says "when you're drunk, repeating their names is the funniest goddamn thing ever", and Diabetus jokingly says that's how he speaks when he's drunk.
A Rare Sentence: slowbeef says he has trouble believing that he's saying the phrase "ProtonJon was tricked into doing a Super Mario World ROM hack LP."
RPG Episode: Episodes 45 & 49 consist of slowbeef, Diabetus, ChipCheezum, General Ironicus, and 100 HOGS AGREE playing the game Dungeon World.
Take That: Diabetus takes a shot at Jeff Dunham, comparing him favorably to PewDiePie, though as if he's surprised to be doing so.
It's hard to find a podcast where they don't take at least one cheap shot at PewDiePie or DarkSydePhil.
Un-Person: In episode 8, they jokingly try to turn ChipCheezum into one of these.
Values Dissonance: Discussed in Episode 16 regarding how the Japanese handle spoilers compared to North America. Basically, spoiling something in the Japanese section of the internet blackballs the user and Japanese forums can have separate threads on a game: one where people are starting the game and one where people have finished the game and can freely reveal spoilers. invoked
Vulgar Humor: Discussed in Episode 10, where slowbeef argues that PewDiePie is overtly bringing this up in regards to rape and other vulgar jokes in a misguided attempt to be funny.
Filler: Remember, kids, having long videos is not the same thing as having lots of content. Particularly evident in nacho, where the host is already done three minutes in, but stays in the level for seven more minutes, doing absolutely nothing so he can fill up the YouTube time limit. With this in mind, it's no surprise that he's spent over a year LPing Banjo-Tooie.
Foreshadowing: In ChipCheezum's riff on the first episode of Elemental Goddess, he makes a random joke about how much he hates Jews, followed by Ironicus telling him "we're not doing that episode yet." Flash-forward to several months later and the riff of The Special Episode and, well...
Freudian Slip: Chip joked that the guy who did an LP of Pong was only allowed to watch news broadcasts from decades ago. After accidentally saying he had to watch nude broadcasts from decades ago.
(The player hits a P-Switch, causing the music to change into the famous Super Mario Bros theme) dbzisdakrunk: "I have no idea where he got that!" LesBeardly: "Keep working on your sarcasm, buddy. I'm sure it'll improve with time." Guest Commentator: "Well, if you look at it, it's either the Mario 1 music, or—" LesBeardly: "No, I take that back. It actually worked on his guest commentator there."