Retsupurae is hilarious. Very hilarious. Here are some grade-A commentary moments that left fans laughing.
For slowbeef and Diabetus's funny moments in Retsupurae, go here.
For slowbeef and Diabetus's non-Retsupurae moments posted on the same account, go here.
ChipCheezum: Oh no! Oh no, Ironicus is gone! UH OOOOOH! ... [Ironicus continues to riff on the LP] ChipCheezum: I'm the one that's bad at technology! ... [ChipCheezum manages to reconnect with Ironicus] ChipCheezum: Ahh! You're back! General Ironicus: Don't call it a comeback. I've been here for minutes.
ALLHHHH with barely legible subtitles and... well...
AMY ROOOOOOSE: Chip and Ironicus encounter a veritable goldmine of comedy. Who seems to have an innate hatred for Amy Rose.
DannyXX39: Oh brother, Amy Rose in Sonic Colors... Good God! When will this eternal nightmare ever end for Sonic?! [...] anybody got an AK-47 rifle? [...] So unless Sonic has something to say about Amy being in Sonic Colors... [DannyXX39 shows his fancharacter flipping the bird at the screen, and Chip and Ironicus break down in hysterics.] DannyXX39:Fuck yoooouuuuuuu!! General Ironicus: Dude, Sonic is high as hell right now; he doesn't even know what he's saying! ChipCheezum: Oh, Sonic... Sonic! General Ironicus: Sonic, strike her with your holy vengeance! [beat] Wha- what did he say about an AK-47? I'm gonna rewatch this! ChipCheezum: I think he just said it would be great to have an AK-47 to shoot Amy Rose with! General Ironicus:Yes! That- [they crack up again] ...anybody who got an AK-47 rifle, that is the... ChipCheezum:[imitates the goldmine] It just goes to show you that I hate Amy Rose's guts! It just makes me feel completely irate, you guys! It just does! General Ironicus:[laughing] Let this eternal nightmare for Sonic the Hedgehog end! ChipCheezum: Comments-have-been-disabled-for-this-video!
ChipCheezum: "Help I can't stop vibrating!" General Ironicus: Now Campbell's gettin' shakey with it! ChipCheezum: "Campbell I can vibrate more than you let's go! Naomi you aren't even vibrating you're not even playing the game right get outta here! Campbell get back here let's vibrate each other!" [motorboating] Terrible Otacon Voice: Snake! I just remembered... General Ironicus: Oh yeah, that's exactly what it sounds like, good job. ChipCheezum:"HELLO THIS IS OTACON." General Ironicus: You're like the spitting audio image, congratulations. ChipCheezum:"SNAKE LET'S TALK ABOUT MY FAVOURITE ANIMES. SNAKE. I'M OTACON."
Another Announcement takes another jab at the Elemental Goddesses fans after their original videos mocking it were reported for "copyright infringement"... by showing Chip tracing over Goku and declaring it a completely original character.
[DarksydePhil runs over an ammo item, gets the message "M9 Bullet Full," and opens the weapon menu] DarksydePhil: How is my M9 bullet full? I don't have an M9! [The M9 is clearly visible in the weapon menu] DarksydePhil: What the fuck? [scrolls up past the M9] ChipCheezum: It's right there! ... Right there! slowbeef: Right there! Right under you! DarksydePhil:What?[switches to the stun grenade, with the M9 one slot below] slowbeef: What do you mean, "what?" It's right there! ChipCheezum: Down! Down! Those are grenades! Down! Pistols! DarksydePhil: I don't have the M9, but it says my M9 bullets are full. That's good... [closes weapon menu] slowbeef: You do have an M9, it's right there! [DarksydePhil leaves the room] slowbeef: Come on, Raiden! [...] ChipCheezum: "I don't know how to find my gun, but I can avoid drowning!"
Soon after, he shoots the power box for a laser trap — using an unsilenced SOCOM, raising the alarm and forcing him to hide. When the coast is clear, he decides to wait out the entire "caution" phase — and only then does he find the M9, without acknowledging his earlier gaffe.
ChipCheezum: Oh, look! You found it! ...Nothing to say about the magic M9 that just appeared?
General Ironicus: The pixels in his TV are forming a waterfall of color! ChipCheezum: Oh my god, look at the sky; it's changing colors; oh, shit! I really am tripping! ... General Ironicus: Is everybody at home seein' this, or am I just high as fuck?
The player seems to have no clue what he's doing, and messes up constantly despite using cheat codes for unlimited ammo and grenades.
ChipCheezum: No, you're throwing grenades so bad! Just go on the side of the train; you can shoot him from there, and he won't even know you're there. Go on the side of the-- you j-- um-- ohh, I'm so angry at video games now!
In addition, the player frequently blames the game for his troubles, once referring to it as "bootlegged"— which Chip and Ironicus spin into a joke about him LPing the Chinese version of the game:
General Ironicus: It's called Off the Map 2: Between Robbers. ... General Ironicus: In the bootleg version, Drake is a member of the American Communist Party, trying to regain the ideological ground in the fight against American imperialism. ChipCheezum:[laughs] Instead of trying to rescue Chloe in this level, he's trying to kill the President. General Ironicus: He's trying to rescue Soviet ideals.
Credits is titled such due to the LPer being inexplicably concerned over the lack of credits in Mega Man 2 until they show up, to the point were Ironicus actually counts the number of times she mentions it.
The Death of Mega Man. After finding nothing but scare cams and YouTube personalities, Chip finally finds a good old-fashioned, save state-abusing, terrible Mega Man LP. A player that takes six minutes to get past the Big Eyes at the beginning of Dr. Wily's first stage. The original video is 35 minutes long, but Chip and Ironicus break it off at the start of the Yellow Devil fight.
Deekee. After the LPer mispronounces "DK" as "Deekee", Chip and Ironicus go into a minutes-long spiel about 'deekee torches' and 'deekee heads on Easter Island'.
Draculur's Curse opens up with loud anime music playing over clips of what looks like a Mexican guy with a mustache and then halfway through the video loses all sound, leaving Chip and Ironicus in shock. Granted the portions that did have sound still managed to achieve that same effect:
ChipCheezum: I don't think any of them are forgotten. General Ironicus: Well Draculur's Curse is. I know a lot of people talk about Dracula's Curse, but nobody gives any love to Draculur's Curse.
Magus also seemed to really really like the game's Mode 7 effects which lead to some interesting comments.
Pretty much the entirety of the DrunkMario KartTrilogy, especially whenever the LPer goes completely ballistic:
[video starts, robdamanii is gently passed by Mario] robdamanii: YOU GODDAMNED DAGO FUCKING PLUMBER! ChipCheezum:[laughing] What? General Ironicus: That's... that's the best opening to a video... robdamanii: AND YOU STUPID CUNT WOMAN PRINCESS, I HOPE YOU GET YOUR GODDAMNED HEAD CHOPPED OFF! ... robdamnaii: I'm not usually this angry. ChipCheezum: Really? General Ironicus: I find that hard to believe. robdamanii:[gets passed] You cunt! General Ironicus: Nobody, nobody who gets this upset at Mario Kart... ChipCheezum: "GRRRRR... PEACH!" General Ironicus: They can't possibly be a calm person in other areas of their life. ChipCheezum: "TOAD! RRRRRRGGGH!" General Ironicus: "Don't cut in line in front of me at the bank you DAGO CUNT!" ... [robdamanii finishes the cup in 2nd to Luigi] robdamanii: You know what? General Ironicus: Here comes my favorite line! robdamanii: Fuck that dago wop son of a bitch. Die. Sorry if you're Italian, I fucking hate Luigi. He's a douchebag. And I hope his life ends, painfully, with rectal cancer in his mouth! Both: What? General Ironicus: How do you get rectal cancer of the mouth? ChipCheezum: [covering his mouth] A to M.
Elemental Goddess: , , , in which Chip and Ironicus take on material that is barely even salvageable by pointing out the terrible writing and animation whenever possible:
Raphiel: I hate people! I just can't bear them! My name is Raphiel! General Ironicus: Hello, Raphiel, how are you doing? ChipCheezum: What a wonderful introduction! That's how I introduce myself to people. General Ironicus: First you share your opinion on all of humanity, and then give your name! ChipCheezum: "I hate Jews a whole lot! My name is Chip, hello." General Ironicus: We're not doing that episode yet! ChipCheezum: Oh yeah, I forgot, I'm sorry, I'll hold back my hatred for Jews until that episode. [two episodes later:] Christian Woman: Jewish people have been worthless throughout history!!
NewYorkDefenderTalon:[arriving in a hallway with holes] This part always made me nervous with the holes in the wall... ChipCheezum: The holes make you nervous? General Ironicus: Are you afraid you'll slip out? NewYorkDefenderTalon: Mainly because it reminds me of a gas chamber... General Ironicus: What? NewYorkDefenderTalon: From uh... which World War was it? General Ironicus: Which World War had the gas chambers?! NewYorkDefenderTalon: You know with Hitler and all that. ChipCheezum: Which war was it that had Hitler and the Holocaust... I can't remember. General Ironicus: You've got two to choose from it's kind of a coin flip for which World War it was!
GAK, in which Chip and Ironicus see a literally unwatchable LP of Batman: Arkham Asylum and has 2 minutes of a still picture at the end.
General Ironicus: He spent so much time putting in the linked annotations in all four corners. Did he not see what he was linking over? [Beat] Chip Cheezum: [Stammers] Yeah, but wait, what?! I didn't even think of that, oh my god! I usually turn the annotations off immediately but. [beat] How do you not. Oh...
Gamer Wipes: Chip and Ironicus watch two ads for gamer cleaning products. While the first one is pretty funny, the second one is hilarious thanks to the strong amount of Ho Yay present.
Gamer 1: So, how'd it go? Gamer 2:[with a satisfied grin on his face] We destroyed them. [Chip and Ironicus burst into laughter.] ChipCheezum: Oh, he looked so satisfied!
Gaming Journalism: Chip and Ironicus take on a REALLY creepy guy "reviewing" a deluxe package of Otomedius Excellent for Kotaku, commenting both on the low video standards of the site and how the reviewer himself is terrible at a simple Gradius-style game, leaving only ONE reason why he bought the game in the first place.
ChipCheezum:[upon viewing the intro to the game] I feel like this is No More Heroes 2 except it's not a joke!!!
"Holy crap Lois,Super Mario Worldwas a bullshit game where I rode a Japanese dinosaur with a yellow, piss-colored cape. Holy crap Lois, do you remember that time I played Chrono Trigger and I pressed the button and a thing happened? Holy crap, Lois! [...] LOIS, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME I DID A LET'S PLAY PRETENDING TO BE PETER GODDAMN GRIFFIN?! DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I DID THAT? DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I MADE THAT LIFE CHOICE TO PRETEND TO BE PETER GRIFFIN AND DO A LET'S PLAY OF SUPER MARIO RPG DO YOU REMEMBER, LOIS?!"
ChipCheezum "You like a little bitch in the thumbnail." His response; "I'm actually Big Bitch." General Ironicus:[laughs] Not a big bitch, just Big Bitch. ChipCheezum: "I am, the big bitch." General Ironicus: Like he's part of the Big Bitch, Little Bitch Program. Where he mentors troubled little bitches in the city.
Player: What is this wondrous world... a place where I can do whatever I want? General Ironicus: I'm kinda afraid of whatever you want. ... General Ironicus: Why is she sticking her ass out like that? ChipCheezum: IT'S SEXY!! General Ironicus: And what can make her stop? ChipCheezum: NOTHING! SHE'S SEXY ALL THE TIME!
Jeff Albertson: A Super Mario World player expresses disdain for the "young'ums" that play modern video games and have difficulty with old ones, yet abuses savestates starting from the first level and gets killed by the easiest boss in the game (possibly explained by his mention that he's controlling Mario with the thumbstick of a 360 controller). He also mucks around with ZSNES' sound settings despite not knowing what the labels mean and then wonders why the audio sounds strange, among other technical mishaps. Chip and Ironicus are audibly stunned by the fiasco unfolding in front of them.
AchmeZe: And why is it showing that clock? I don't know why it's showing that clock. It's not too obstructive, I guess... [opens "Sound" menu] ChipCheezum: No, this is "Sound." This is "Sound," not "Time." This is "Sound." Don't click on these, you're gonna mess up the sound even more. AchmeZe: I don't know what any of this is... [switches "Interpolation" setting from "Gaussian" to "None"] Chip and Ironicus: No! General Ironicus: Don't touch it! ChipCheezum: Don't go away from Gaussian, it's gonna sound weird! [AchmeZe starts the game; the music sounds off] AchmeZe: The water's green. I don't remember it being green. ChipCheezum: The horn sounds like it has a cold now! ... [AchmeZe pauses the game, opens the ZSNES menu briefly, then closes it] AchmeZe: So you might be wondering why... [The game remains paused] AchmeZe: ...what the hell did I press to do this... Oh, fuck. [both laugh] ChipCheezum: "What's an emulator!?" General Ironicus: How can you be this technically incompetent!? And then, at the end of the day, say, "Yep, cut, print, upload, that's what I'm gonna do"!? [AchmeZeContinues to fiddle with the emulator] AchmeZe:...Okay this is... General Ironicus: Hello? AchmeZe:...Bu-bugging the living shit out of me... General Ironicus: Hello sir, are you there? [AchmeZe loads a state and exits out of the ZSNES menu, upon state load the game sky becomes black and Mario is nowhere to be seen.] ChipCheezum: What have you done!? [AchmeZe resets the game] General Ironicus: Are we ever going to see the end of the first level of Super Mario World? AchmeZe: Yeah. General Ironicus: Yeah? Is that a promise? AchmeZe: (Forlorn sounding) No... General Ironicus: No? Its not? We might not? ChipCheezum: My god he's talking to us through the video! [AchmeZe speeds through the title screen of the game] General Ironicus: Well that looks... standard. ChipCheezum(Talking as AchmeZe): That was some in-emulator editing. Its a new part of my rig. [AchmeZe presses one of the shoulder buttons to scroll the screen, leading to a distorted, glitchy noise instead of the standard sound.] ChipCheezum: Oh, what did you do to the pause sound?! ... AchmeZe: And now the water's blue! General Ironicus:It was blue all the time! ChipCheezum: No, he's complaining-the video turned out fine, but he was complaining earlier that the water's green for him. How do you do- h... [Ironicus laughs] You don't have to touch anything with that emulator to make this game run fine! Some of the sounds'll be weird, 'cause it's not perfect emulation, but it'll be fine! How'd you make the ocean green?! ... AchmeZe: I don't remember the lag, nor the green water. But that's what you get with an emulator. I don't know why. I mean, for fuck's sake, we have computers that can do things a hundred times... General Ironicus: A hundred times! AchmeZe: ...more sophisticated than what our old things could do, and yet for some reason, it's still too advanced for us to emulate this properly! ChipCheezum: No, you don't get it. One, emulation's actually pretty complicated, because they have to have a processor emulate lots of actual physical hardware instead of just, y'know... it doesn't run on a normal computer, and also, you fucked it up yourself! You keep touching things! And now your game's running at backwards-660 frames per second! General Ironicus:[laughing] How does that happen!?
LPer: I swear, [my cat's] own version of catnip is human sweat. General Ironicus: ...what. Both: NO. ChipCheezum: We're done. General Ironicus: No. End the video. Done. I'm done. I'm out. [video immediately ends]
Mario Party. Alone. AGAIN. includes the following exchange where Chip and Ironicus imagine what an exchange between Catboy12000 and his therapist might be like:
General Ironicus:[as CatBoy12000's therapist] "So tell me about this Wario character, we had a lot of work with him last week." ChipCheezum:[as CatBoy12000] "Well, y'see, any time I play Mario Party, he - uh, I'm on the Mini-Game Island, and he comes up and he gets in my way, and he's really mean, and...sometimes he tells me that nobody likes me, and I know that, y-you told me that, th-that anytime I think that nobody likes me it's just because I don't like myself before I can have any real friends I have to learn to like myself, but I've been doing pretty good at that lately, I mean, when I play Mario Party I don't yell at myself as much..." General Ironicus:[as CatBoy12000's therapist] "I think you're making great progress, Catboy12000, but... I'd just like to inform you that I don't like you either, and you pay me. Just think about that for a second." ChipCheezum:[as CatBoy12000] "If I pay you extra, will you tell me that I'm a cool person and that you would high-five me any day of the week?" General Ironicus: [as CatBoy12000's therapist] "I'm sorry, I have ethics." ChipCheezum:[as CatBoy12000] "Oh... W-Wario and Yoshi still like me!" General Ironicus:[as CatBoy12000's therapist] "I've been meaning to tell you." ChipCheezum:[as CatBoy12000] "What?" General Ironicus:[as CatBoy12000's therapist] "Yoshi is not a sexual object." ChipCheezum:[as CatBoy12000] "Y-You're just jealous about Yoshi and I's love! Nothing can get in between me and Yoshi." General Ironicus:[as CatBoy12000's therapist] "I'm pretty sure that Koopa Trooper can." ChipCheezum:[as CatBoy12000] "Not for long when I win the mini-game! I will-I'll use save states to preserve our love."
Inexplicable pair of green lips: Captain Planet, he's our man... General Ironicus: [clearly amused] What is this bullshit?! ChipCheezum: I know, I j— when I downloaded this, I just took a peek at this and I saw this and immediately I went [Captain Planet looms over a sleeping woman, dressed as a vampire] — WHY IS HE DRACULA? — I just went "this is fucking bullshit". What the hell are these lips?! This is not the theme song I remember at all.
Their response to the yeti being voiced by Tony Jay:
[both in hysterics] ChipCheezum: Hello, Tony Jay. [laughs] General Ironicus: I'm sorry you're dead. ChipCheezum: That's- that's the name of the yeti, it's Tony. General Ironicus:Hexadecimal's gonna pop out around the corner.
MINECRAFT, spoofing the LPer's temporally-challenged narrative:
ChipCheezum: Remember when we were talking about this video, when I first sent it to you, and the entire time I was just thinking, that the reason why she's doing this is just because it's just a really easy gimmick to do to make people watch your shitty little videos, and it's just always hilarious to watch somebody play a video game they've never played before for the first time. General Ironicus:But then I thought, is it the first time anymore? Episode 45! At a point, isn't there a point where you have to start being skilled? I thought at the time, is what I said then, in the past. ChipCheezum: (I don't know how long I can keep doing this! I'm dying! ...I said in the past.) General Ironicus: I also had a hard time keeping straight the timeline of events! On the one hand, there was, at the time, her speaking in black and white, and then there was her speaking in color, which happened before that, and also before I was taking about it originally, which is before I'm talking about it now. And in the colored part, she's talking about an even further back time. ... General Ironicus:A question I wanted to pose, when I first saw this, was why— [both corpse for about 10 seconds] —was why am I watching Minecraft Chick, at this point in my life? Why is there a Minecraft Chick? Why can't we just all be Minecraft players? Why can't, w, wh— [more laughter] it's my bedtime, or something; I need some more popcorn, I thought at the time. What the hell is the point of this game, I wondered to myself at a temporal location different than this one. I need to make a chart, so I said then, last week. ... General Ironicus: Why is she making that face? This one is a current observation that I didn't make at the time; I would've remembered it.
nacho has Chip and Ironicus going bonkers when the LPer completes a mission on Super Mario Sunshine in three minutes, then spends the next seven running around a stage like a complete nut and striking up a conversation.
Night Trap will be an awesome time.: "Youidiot! You never told me you did a Let's Play of Night Trap! That means you have Super-AIDS!"
No Comment: The bouncy intro and outro make the video.
Jerry: We'll be doing a Retro Review. Which is something we haven't done in weeks. ChipCheezum: What retro game is this? Sonic? Mega Man? General Ironicus: They must have gone way back to find a good retro game! Like something off the Commodore, maybe! To prove their cred! Jerry: It's very underrated. So Josh, tell the good people what game it is! Josh: We have Ōkami! ChipCheezum: WHAT? General Ironicus: Oh man! I remember when Okami came out for the Atari 2600! ChipCheezum: Yeah, I know! What the... [gibbering] ...This game came out five years ago, you idiots! Five years doesn't count as "retro"! General Ironicus: Let me see how "underrated" Okami is. ...a "very underrated" game with a Metascore of 93 out of 100 and a User Score of 9.2! Not a lot of people like this! [...] Hugh: Oh wow, guys! The proper word I'd say to describe Okami would be 'innovative', I'd say... ChipCheezum: I hate your voice. General Ironicus: I got a feeling he went through the entire dictionary word-by-word until he came upon 'innovativuuuggh'. ChipCheezum: Look. Look, Hugh. It's a video game, it's not fine wine, okay? You're not eating cheese and wine and talking about Helter Skelter, okay? General Ironicus: 'I'm a connoisseur of retro video games from five years ago!' ChipCheezum: 'Mmm, yes! I was only born in 2000!' General Ironicus: Hugh is a pod-person who was specifically developed for reviewing video games. His birthdate was the release of MGS4, this is retro as all hell, man. [...] ChipCheezum: Look, look, kid, just record yourself talking if you really have to! Don't throw it into After Effects and color-correct it so it's in, like, 300-vision, and don't put a shitty fake vignette over it, 'cuz I know you're using Magic Bullet! General Ironicus: Yeah, I really like the soft focus, it's like he's really a 45-year-old actress trying to play attractive.
Chip & Ironicus' grilling of Fusion Media Network was so thorough (up to and including a complete and constructive list of things that could be improved) that the channel went on indefinite hiatus as a result of the backlash.
the pokemon don't stop, featuring a guy who records and uploads five episodes of Pokemon Black And White on its release date, has commentary consisting of sick-sounding groaning, and just randomly fast-forwarding through several battles.
Our player pays a visit to the daycare.
General Ironicus: You are literally in a kindergarten beating up children's pets! General Ironicus: Your Pokemon don't seem to be healthy, they're suffering from an acute case of bloodlust.
General Ironicus: Let's Play... Powerpoint? ChipCheezum: No, let's just have an intro with no music. [The video cuts to the LPers TV, with a camcorder at a terrible angle.] LPer: Hello, people of Youtube! slowbeef: [incredulous] What? ... slowbeef: It's like this kid was trapped in a time capsule from 1976. General Ironicus: Is Brendan Fraser doing Lets Plays now? slowbeef: We're in some kind of a time vortex; his grandfather's going to be Let's Playing Resident Evil 5. 'Just load your Atari into my hovercraft, Jimmy!' ... [The LPer starts making beeping noises.] General Ironicus:[laughing] Oh god...how do you go back to the Youtube standby of singing the music when there is no music?[Everyone laughs] 'I'LL JUST BEEP LIKE THE PADDLE!'
Ret's Rurf is so titled because DeceasedCrab is doing commentary with a mouth stuffed full of gauze after wisdom tooth removal — for his opening video of the Game Boy Advance title based on Barbie and the Magic of Pegasus. Since he's too unintelligible to riff on for very long, Chip and Ironicus turn to the comments:
General Ironicus: "They gave you a little too much laughing gas didn't they?" I don't think they gave enough, 'cause he's still conscious enough to actually do a Let's Play.
Retsupurae Mario Party has Cauchemar89 going on with how he hates Mario and Peach in Skateboard Scamper and the reveal of Cauchemar having over 500 videos in an entire year, half of which were just first videos on Let's Plays that he never finished, but the best moment is pretending he owns an unreleased beta of the minigame "Skateboard Scamper""Skaetbord Skampurr", which isn't nearly as "tauffer" as the original. His incomprehensible Swiss accent is the cherry on top.
LPer: That's uuh... that's enough of that. General Ironicus: Yes, you're right that's enough. LPer: Right now I think it's time to get up close and personal with my viewers. Whadda ya think? General Ironicus: NO! NO! NO! Plea- NO! ChipCheezum: GOD NO! General Ironicus:' NO! NO! NO! N- [The screen fades out from the Super Mario Bros 3 Let's Play and reveals the obese, neckbearded let's player] ChipCheezum: Oh- [screams in fear for a few seconds] OH GOD! General Ironicus: NO! [laughs] Oh, look at you.
Retsupurae Megaman 1 features audio and video that become progressively more out of sync over time, to the point where the gameplay video lasts a full 45 seconds after the audio cuts off! Sometimes the juxtaposition is unexpectedly appropriate:
[In the video, whiplash308 starts his attempt at fighting Iceman with Rolling Cutter.] [In the audio, Mega Man has already died while using Rolling Cutter, forcing whiplash308 to reload his save state.] whiplash308: Oh well, guess we're gonna have to do this the slow way. General Ironicus:WHAT!? ChipCheezum: He's gonna take him out the slow way by using a completely ineffective weapon for this boss. General Ironicus: A weapon that does less damage than his Mega Buster shots... and has no range. Against Iceman who is range; that's all he's got. ... General Ironicus: The more he plays, I think the audio and video are gonna sync back up again, 'cause it's the same thing over and over again. ChipCheezum: It's just gonna loop all the way back. General Ironicus: Eventually it's gonna match, just one loss early. ChipCheezum: Right, and it'll be in sync for a little bit and then it'll just go right back out of sync. Which really upsets me. General Ironicus: It's like your blinker and the guy's blinker in front of you. It matches for a while, and then it's alternating, and then it matches for a while. ChipCheezum: That's what I was thinking too.
Really, the whole video is funny as all hell, thanks to the LPers complete and total incompetence. He sounds like a robot thanks to audio issues, is so bad at Mega Man it's not even funny, and his commentary is horrible. Chip and Ironicus have a great time picking the idiot apart.
"I called it the Squirrel-caust because that's really what it is!"
Retsupurae Sonic 3D, which features the end of a badly tacked on vore story and Chip deciding that he has a fetish for bored looking women.
Retsupurae Sonic the Squish-Hog is so titled because the LPer took the term 'video compression' very literally. He's also frustratingly inept at the game despite claiming familiarity with Sonic 2:
[megamike reloads a save state at the top of a half-pipe after failing to ascend the other side] ChipCheezum and General Ironicus: You just drop and— [Sonic falls down one side but loses his momentum due to megamike not pressing any buttons and is stuck at the bottom again] General Ironicus: —now you hold right. No... ChipCheezum: No, you turn into a ball so that you get more speed; you're dumb! [megamike struggles in vain to get Sonic up the platforms in the middle of the half-pipe] megamike: If only you had the damn Spin Dash I could get up there easily! ChipCheezum:[whispering] You can't Spin Dash in the first Sonic game!
The other half of the video's humor comes from Chip doing impressions of megamike in a high, floaty voice. These moments frequently imply Furry Fandom:
ChipCheezum: "Can animals consent to make love? I ask because I have some blue dye and my friend has a hedgehog." General Ironicus: All you have to do is put it in a box with a fox that has an extra tail strapped to its back that you borrowed from your furry friend and let nature take its course. ChipCheezum: "I will get a hedgehog kitsune [pronounced "kit-soon"]. It will be born with nine tails." General Ironicus: All of them incredibly fast. ChipCheezum: "They will have little sneakers on them the second they are born." General Ironicus: Well, you have to make the sneakers custom. That's what makes it your baby. ChipCheezum: "I even got a certificate." ... General Ironicus: I imagine what happened is he found like, a Cybershell video, and that "inspired" him to make a Let's Play... ChipCheezum: "Cybers-hell you are my Let's Play role model! And I'm going to make a video tribute to you and I'm gonna reply it to your videos on YouTube and I hope you see them because I want tokiss you!"
Ironicus' utter befuddlement at the video's lack of coherence is also quite funny. Doubly so if you consider the fact that he and Chip did an LP of Killer7 and at no point during that game did Ironicus sound this confused.
General Ironicus: For everyone who wants to know, Chip's name on Newgrounds is BadgerMasada.
This is What You've Been Missing: Chip finds an RP he thought he had lost and decides to show us what we missed. Quack.
ChipCheezum: You'd think an LP done by The Penguin would be more entertaining.
While watching a Pokemon Mystery Dungeon LP, they get bored and start making up their own story. It's called Tokemon.note Caterpie is a superhero! The boredom comes from the LPer in question being a bland Sir Ron Lionheartclone.
General Ironicus: You're not SirRon, stop being SirRon.
ChipCheezum: They showed a whole bunch of random games in that intro, but I really hope Super Paper Mario is in this list somewhere [Number 5 appears] General Ironicus: I hope so. ChipCheezum: Cause I don't know what you can even say is said in Super Paper Mario [Super Paper Mario appears] excep- SUPER PAPER MARIO! [...] Autarch of Flame:[quoting Count Bleck] "Hundreds of thousands of years from now, that fact will not have changed..." Remind me to say those words at my wedding. Both:[Spit Take] General Ironicus: I was just going to say that I would love to see these guys in a relationship if they think this is like timeless romance. [...] Autarch of Flame: As Gamma lays on the ground malfunctioning, Beta explodes and reveals the bird inside him. [Chip and Ironicus burst into laughter] General Ironicus: That is a serious sentence that someone said about emotionally moving moments. Autarch of Flame: Picture this: ChipCheezum: Picture this: You're a bird! [...] Autarch of Flame: This death really hit home with us because of how real a character Gamma Seemed. ChipCheezum: Don't even say it! If you quote that-[Kirk's Eulogy Scene plays] ChipCheezum: NO! YOU'RE DOING IT! YOU'RE DOING IT! GeneralIronicus: You... you don't get to do that.
Autarch of Flame: ... Numbers 2 and 1 are entire games that are sad moments. GeneralIronicus: What a cop-out! ChipCheezum: That is a cop-out! What is number 2? What is number 2? It can't possibly be anything sad. [the game's title appears]Metal Gear Solid 4?!
Chip and Ironicus' abridged version of the pre-number 1 countdown.
Gamma: Give me the bird. Yakko Warner: We'd love to really, but the Fox censors won't allow us. ChipCheezum: IMAGINE YOU'RE A BIRD! IMAGINE YOU'RE A BIRD! IMAGINE YOU'RE A BIRD! GeneralIronicus: Imagine you're Yakko Warner.
A Valentine's Day LP (Part 1) features a camcorder LP of Pokemon Yellow, while the LPer grinds levels and talks to his girlfriend on the phone about bowling. Chip and Ironicus react about as well as expected, with Chip going ballistic over several Jeff Dunham references. Bonus points for the second part, which features the LPer announcing the end of said LP, with the duo speculating that his girlfriend broke up with him.
ChipCheezum: Your Pikac is about to die! General Ironicus:[incredulous] It-it-it got knocked out! The Pi... ChipCheezum: You lost at Pokemon! It's like at the beginning of the game! You got owned by a Pidge! [Ironicus just busts out laughing] Now, go select your Pok.
Who Retsupuraes the Retsupuraers?: Before he uploads his next LP...I just want to go to his house and try and stop him. But for all I know he probably uploaded it 35 minutes ago.
The fact that Ironicus spent a good portion of the video making Watchmen references was pretty impressive and funny in and of itself.
ChipCheezum: Wait, stop. Look what's behind him... to the left of him. [Ironicus starts cracking up] ChipCheezum: Look at all those pop bottles! They're still sealed! What is going on in there! General Ironicus: As soon as this hits a thousand views, he is gonna crack all those open at once and bathe in it. ChipCheezum:Why would you have so much pop? General Ironicus: It's so sticky, but it's so good!
Wolverine's Special Home Remedy. Within the first thirty seconds of the video, the LPer suddenly blurts out that he somehow managed to get soap in his urethra. Chip and Ironicus spend the rest of the video making soap-in-dick jokes, culminating with an hilarious rant about how Wolverine is addicted to cutting off his own dick and puts soup in it as a "soothing" natural remedy:
TheSlyKy: Oh so...I got off the shower a few hours ago and yo when I was washing...mah dick... I got some soap in that motherfuckaand that shit stung like a fuckin' bitch! Stung worse than a needle or a pinch...or like a bee sting...oh actually I dunno how that feels like 'cuz I've never got stung 'cuz I'm a lucky ass. But anyway, we're going to play... [Ironicus bursts into giggles.] General Ironicus: I love it already! ... [TheSlyKy types in his name in the profile screen] General Ironicus:"Thehzzleeky"! "The Sleeky!" ChipCheezum: "It's leaky! Help! My dick! Help! It won't stop! I think the soap started something!" General Ironicus: It activated the X-Gene in his dick. It's now a super prehensile dick. His dick is Reed Richards. ... General Ironicus:I probably would call my dick Mr. Fantastic if I could get away with it. ... Sabertooth:[looking at Wolverine] I knew I smelled something rotten! ChipCheezum:[as Wolverine] "If you smell something rotten it ain't me because I got soap ALL UP in my dick! No, that smell isn't coming from me, must be you." ... General Ironicus: Man, one time Wolverine got shot in the head and he was like really hurting. Almost as if he got soap in his dick. ChipCheezum: Not much you can do to regenerate soap out of your dick. You're just going to have to live with it, Wolverine. I mean, you could cut your dick off and regenerate your dick I guess. "AAH! Don't want a soapy dick any more! GET OFF! GET OFF ME!" General Ironicus: The problem is he does it all the time. Like he just can't not do it!. Basically next time Wolverine cuts his dick off you can look at it and it's like the rings of a tree! ChipCheezum: "Wolverine! You're on your twelfth dick ALREADY?" General Ironicus: "I'm the best at what I do! And what I do is slice off my own dick! Into little bite size hot dogs what with the several claws!" ChipCheezum:[cries with laughter]
"Soup's for eating, Wolverine!"
While not a Retsupurae of an LP, much of Chip and Ironicus' Retsufrash of the Xin series is pure hilarity. Especially when Ironicus breaks out his smug tough guy voice.
General Ironicus: It's a very tasty cylinder. I kicked it. Myself. And it became cake. Through the power of my violence.
Recently revived with the second season. After the guys finish watching Xin episode 11, they find this gem in the comments. Their reaction is priceless:
LesBeardly: I don't have anything against Proton Jon, but he did something in this video that's...pretty unforgivable. Proton Jon: This time I'm gonna let you guys play along...simply because I want to try something different.
A Misogynist's Foam Adventure. LesBeardly tries to prove that he's not a misogynist by watching two incredibly annoying, immature girls. He suffers. Greatly.
LesBeardly: (mocking the LPer) Oh God what should I say what should I say? I just got a 30 day trial of Camstudio and didn't put any thought into... [very loud music plays] LesBeardly: OH MY GOD MY FUCKING EARS! WHY IS YOUR VOLUME SO HIGH? TURN IT DOWN FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!
The Audacity of Metroid, a video done by a Jerkass LPer whose commentary consists entirely of mocking the enemies and whining about how terrible his life is.
Mel14986: My mom ran some freaking errands, okay? She got some groceries. She comes home, she knows I'm upstairs recording, she knows how long I record, usually an hour and a half, and then, she has the audacity to call me down there and go 'Hey, why didn't you help me bring the groceries in?'
In Related News..., LMB was notified of a bizarrely titled video in the Related Videos section. "Asian Jizzcakes" by "inuyashamaroku" (sic). After viewing the racist, sexist, perverted, and offensive in every way video, he proceeded to give a through thrashing of his channel.
What It Takes To Be The Guy, a seventeen minute long riff on an atrocious video. Much to the RPers amusement, the LPer keeps screeching and babbling incoherently, interspersed with technical difficulties and Skype calls.
ThornBrain and Mugiwara Yoshi present the Let's Play Pokemon Black & White BEFORE ITCOMES OUTTrilogy. Three videos of idiots playing a leaked ROM of the game before it came out IN JAPAN. Meaning it's all in Japanese text they can't read. The first video consists of a douchebag making extremely unfunny racist and sexist jokes, made even worse when ThornBrain learns they live in the same town. The second video has worse visual quality and he didn't patch the game, making him unable to gain experience points. The third video was a female LPer with a similar voice to QueenieZ and a similar Gamer Chick attitude.
TheStrawhatNO!'s Retsupuraes of n00b22222's Super Mario Bros. 2 videos, due to n00b making mistakes that sometimes get between the cracks of the game's logic. Often results in the commentators choking with laughter.
Mugiwara Yoshi: I'm just waiting for spikes to be on the floor. [screen scrolls down, revealing spikes. N00b lands on said spikes] ThornBrain: YES!!! Mugiwara Yoshi laughs so hard he barely can breathe.
Slowbeef: (after reading a comment that the video was already done by 3 other retsupurae accounts) Somebody pass this video to Chip Cheezum for an even 5.
Fireman/Flameman/Whateverman (retsupurae) by ProtagonistRP. "Save state abuse" doesn't begin to describe it. The LPer's emulator queues recent messages, and at one point there are literally ten "GAME SAVED IN SLOT 0" messages which cover a quarter of the screen.
Jade Star: Part 3 of Legend of Zelda: Link to the Past. Part 2 was interrupted by a phone call from the LPer's dad. And no surprise, he still didn't find the dungeon during part 2. Joats: It's here somewhere. [The LPer runs back to the first area of the game] Joats: It's in front of Link's house.
lets play super mario bros 2 nostalgically, a video where Psychedelic Eyeball mocks the Nostalgia Critic and his fans (as well as slowbeef in a throwaway line that mocks his Jurassic Park video). Has to be seen to be believed.
RP Sonic Adventure Trailer: Research Indicates took this video and did nothing more than remove the annotations that covered most of the screen and replaced the annoying kid's voice with himself saying the horribly broken english from the original video, word for word. The result is hilarious.
Then for a later video, RI actually got the same kid who did the sonic video to help him retsupurae the finale to the Survival Kids LP which Diabetus originally mocked for two videos through the main Retsupurae account (see the first folder for those videos).
Super savestate Mario Loadstate brothers by IMSUPERLPER with co-commentator captinjingles. The title gag ("save state" and "load state" Verbal Tics) is just the appetizer. How about technical difficulties forcing a jump-cut halfway through that introduces game lag and random eruptions of audio static, when the LPer's video and audio were unimpressive to begin with? Also the Running Gag of "State 7" being a great place to hang out.
captinjingles: He titled the video "mic sucks" so you know he was aware of it — load state — and he uploaded it anyway. Load state.
From the same two, we get Top five list as done by a pedophile. There are no words. (Don't worry, the video doesn't actually contain any pedophilia—they're just making fun of the guy, since they don't know he's just acting.)
Proteus and Psychedelic Eyeball team up in Thanks for sharing, champ. The LPer abuses save states and complains about being tired in order to excuse not showing even the slightest bit of skill at Super Mario World ROM hacks. And then he parks Mario right in the middle of a stomping column's path and doesn't move an inch.
Psychedelic Eyeball:[giggles uncontrollably] Did you see—? [degenerates into another giggling fit] Proteus: What the fuck, he just stands there? Psychedelic Eyeball: Yeah, he's so tired. Proteus: Oh, god. [mocking] So tired. I can't press— right on the d-pad, oh— fuck.
"I was walking to my bedroom to play this game, and I slipped on a glooey rod and knocked my head on a grotty, piss-stained toilet. I woke up and had a vision of the Flux Capacitor. I went back in time and stopped the author from NOT making this game. After I tried to go back to the present, I ran out of plutonium, so I had to wait another 5 years for this piece of shit to come out. Finally I got a chance to play it. To my dismay, I couldn't find the play button.
There's just some things you shouldn't try out, as AcetheGolden learned the hard way in his comment on the video Kirby: "I said xxthornxx 3 times at my monitor, and an insane man with a clown suit jumped out of my screen, loudly exclaimed "GREASED LIGHTNIN'!", stole all my hot dogs, and ran down the street. Thanks guys."
Don't be fooled. It may seem that he compressed the video because he's a technologically incompetent moron, but it isn't. He altered the dimensions of the video to create an elaborate illusion of enhanced lateral velocity. This isn't moronic. This is sheer brilliance.
At the end of the Arise 4 retsufrash, Cooliespy345 invoked Slowbeef and Proteus's making fun of the forced Title Drops in the Trapped series to create a mishmash with various flash titles they had made fun of:
Thomal9: The house is drafty and creaky, half the windows are missing, the garage is only accessible via climbing down the balcony, and there's a portal to hell in the living room filled with aliens who want to destroy humanity. 10/10
"A Look at Ancient LP Technology" has none other than Quadraxis14 showing that he has a sense of humor:
Quadraxis14: I can't lie; every time I see a Retsupurae with Super Mario World I get nervous that it's going to involve SNES9X going to involve SNES9X going to involve SNES9X going to involve SNES9X
These two comments for the main account's Metroid: Other M Wrongpurae. The first is a rant against the entire game, especially Sakamoto's influence, while the second is a count of various events, such as saying the word baby, authorizations, and slowbeef's getting pissed.
This game is a cancer on an otherwise superb franchise. Sakamoto comes off as a bitter old man who is pouting because Miyamoto and Retro made a better Metroid game than him, so he has proclaimed himself the godking of the franchise and says "Yeah, those Prime games...really didn't happen." FUCK YOU Sakamoto, Prime's fucking readable lore gave more backstory to the Metroid universe and the Chozo than ALL of this games atrocious, Samus character raping cutscenes. Thanks for fucking up Metroid...
Today I woke up, happily starting into the day. However, downstairs a mirriror was broken. And I realized the horrible truth... Somebody got murdered in my house. I never spoke to my parents again. I just sat in a corner, thinking about that they could get me too. I realized, that my futur was a dark one.
Alexander would later come to regret the hasty marriage as he realized he only became King over a half-dozen infertile islands with no sense of economy and around three dog-headed knights, a pot-bellied genie, and a clown to protect him from the annual viking pillagers. When petitioning his father Graham for help and soldiers, he merely retorted "Why don't you pull out your magic map?" and left him for dead, trollface.
LovetteCher: Did you have control of your internal organs, no matter the outside source? Crazy56U: Yep. And somehow, I'm not a superhero. LovetteCher: Hm... Where you at any point NOT moving? Crazy56U: ... (facepalm) D'OH! LovetteCher: It's okay, Jesus, we all make mistakes.
ImmortalHDFilms: But, like, did you like, [buy] my shirts? slowbeef: Did you buy one of ours? [posts a link to their Etsy shop] If you buy one, I'll draw a picture of Asura. ImmortalHDFilms: OH MY GOD. ASURA??
After Beef n Betus spend most of Move Over Unregistered Hypercam 2! making a few jokes about EZVid, the program the LPer used to record the gameplay, the product's official Youtube channel commented on the video, making a few jokes at their own expense.
ezvidinc: If you are baked, Ezvid will automatically end your video at 4:20 minutes. As a safety precaution. ezvidinc: This is the best Ezvid review ever.
howdareyou66: No seriously, beam upgrades that do nothing, pointless first person pixel hunts, overt and unnecessary sexualisation of Samus, bizarre plot, game breaking bugs. This game predicted Other M.
After Ambition Babies features a plot thread about one kid posting a video online, someone made the obvious gimmick account, complete with a mostly in-character comment thread.
Someone also comments on the bizarre reappearance of Duke and his twin Luke:
CrushedMGS: I'm a huge adventure game fan, so I was excited when I found an old copy of Harvester. The only strange thing was that the CD had "H4rv3st3r" written on it. When I booted it up, I didn't know what was going on. The Lodge wasn't a sinister temple, but some regular building where bored middle aged guys drank cocktails. Nobody talked about meat or chronic masturbation. The baby's eyes didn't pop out, and when Steve got a papercut, the blood wasn't hyperrealistic. I'm too scared to continue.
A Youtube user named notEisiger took the song Combine Harvester from The Wurzels and sung to an instramental version, giving us A Messed Up Game Called Harvester. It sings about how messed up the game is and it is as awesome as it sounds. You can even sing along with the lyrics at the bottom of the video!
In Tower of Horrible Voices, Slowbeef points out a comment by rafigirl123 criticizing Lijik's awful shtick. Some years later, on the Retsupurae video:
rafigirl123: Two years later, and this is still the most proud I have ever been of anything I've done on the internet. God bless.
PlasmaBossColress: What baffles me is that someone recorded this, rewatched it later, and said to himself, "YEAH, THIS IS TOP-QUALITY MATERIAL. I THINK I'LL UPLOAD THIS." P.A. Master Gaming: You assume he rewatched it later. But no, he just fast forwarded through it. It was easier.
Mr. DJB comments on apparent fan-backlash to a comment he made during Mass Erect:
Mr. DJB: Every time I guest on this channel I manage offend a particular group. First I riled up the dangan ronpa fans on tumblr by shittalking their dumb anime game. Then the neo-nazi holocaust deniers had a go at me over the Pokemon streams. Now with one glancing comment, I've pissed off a ton of guys who think I'm a social justice feminist whatever because I don't like rape hentai. Next time I'll breathe irregularly, because fuck asthmatics.
Super Jeenius: I bought the Vita capture card before the Vita TV came out, and it does do great work... but it's not $519. Assuming he already has his own Vita, it's only $219. What's the extra $300 for? Even if he didn't have a Vita it's only $414 for the bundle of system + card... $100+ is just for his wallet I suppose. All that being said, the fact that this was even a thing is staggering to me.