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We're glad you think we're sexy, your Highness.
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If "Ask Octavia" is the longest-running Ask a Pony blog, then Ask Princess Molestia (and Gamer Luna) is one is the most (in)famous. Run by Brony community artist superstar John Joseco, it follows the gag-a-day exploits of a very, very promiscuous, lilac-maned version of Princess Celestia. The blog was later extended to include her sister Luna, who here is a spirited gamer (and comparatively a prude).

On January 17, 2014, JJ officially retired the blog in order to focus on his art, as well as his other webcomic, The Hunters of Salamanstra.

The character of Gamer Luna is now being continued in her own (SFW) tumblr. This is not to be confused with Ask Gamer Luna, by Swedish brony Sallymon.

Try to remember not to discuss the circumstances (or lack thereof) surrounding the blog's takedown/closing. Odds are, you're going to be wrong, or somebody will THINK you're wrong, and we all know how that turns out.

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Tropes:

  • Aborted Arc: There was some hint of Molestia dealing with a town with a dark secret, but nothing ever came out of it.
  • Affectionate Parody: The sidebar of the blog bore the words "If you take this site seriously, you really do belong on the moon."
  • Alcohol-Induced Idiocy: After a Drinking Contest between Molestia and Luna, the latter changes into Nightmare Moon and they have a threesome with Queen Chrysalis.
  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: Molestia seems to have had genuine feelings for Discord, masturbated to Queen Chrysalis' ass and had a brief fling with King Sombra.
  • All Periods Are PMS: "How does Luna handle her 'time of the month'?" "GRAAWRR!"
  • Anything That Moves/Extreme Omnisexual: Molestia will molest anypony, even her cousin, the chubbies, humans and her own sister. Not even Daring Do, a fictional fictional character, is safe, nor are tentacle monsters, giant aliens, or even inanimate objects.
  • April Fools' Day: April of 2013 had the princesses swap their roles and turn the blog into Ask Gamer Molly + Lusty Luna, complete with a video. Judging from how badly they are acting it seems to be an in-universe gag.
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    • Posts made since then seem to indicate the two were unaware of the personality swap. Luna in particular was shocked.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: If Molestia could clone herself she said that it would involve ambushing more ponies, having a clone orgy and... exploiting Facebook games.
    • For bonus points they are playing the My Little Pony game for the Android.
  • Art Evolution: Luna was originally drawn as she appeared at the end of "Elements of Harmony, Part 2", but soon changed to her "Luna Eclipsed" form.
  • Art Shift: The blog is usually drawn in a simplistic, sketched style with only a handful of colors for the different characters (usually a couple of shades per character), but occasionally there will be high-quality, full-color installments marking special occasions.
  • Ascended Extra:
    • Gamer Luna has been steadily going from occasional cameos to being a recurring character who shows up frequently to take her sister's place in answering questions and to deliver a regular dose of dork charm. Her name is even in the title now! She even got her own blog, "Ask Gaming Princess Luna" following the termination of APM.
    • Derpy Hooves has been appearing as Luna's gamer friend fairly often as well.
  • Aside Glance: Bon Bon gives a very understandable one.
  • Ass Shove: Molestia greatly enjoys having various things inserted into her backside. The most recent included her with more than a dozen lit sparklers stuck up there for Independence Day!
    • She does it again for the 2013 Independence Day post (albeit not quite as many this time around).
    • And an accidental case with Rainbow Dash doing this with herself during a Sonic Rainboom. Here.
  • Attack of the 50-Foot Whatever / Humongous Mecha: One post showed Luna and Derpy piloting one of the Jaeger mechs from Pacific Rim.
    • The very next post showed a giant Molestia confronting a Kaiju attacking Equestria.
    • Another post showed a giant Molestia (sporting a particularly unnerving Slasher Smile) looming over a huge wall as an homage to Attack on Titan.
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: Molestia has a "63 Ray Gun" that turns its victims into the opposite gender for the day. All of the ponies generally look attractive after being hit, but of particular note are Applejack (who becomes so attractive that his even his brother is impressed) and Trixie (who, according to Molestia herself, could even give Big Mac a run for his money).
  • Audio Adaptation: Most notably by MEMJ0123, endorsed by JJ himself. There have also been a few other unofficial examples.
  • Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Plenty of examples with Luna and Molestia. Above all else, they are sisters who overall love each other. REALLY love each other, Luna included, even if she's not as upfront about it.
    • In a more recent one Molestia returns with gifts for Luna with no motive or attempts of molesting. She just wanted to be nice to Luna... And then Derpy ruins the moments by attempting a flying group hug.
  • Bear Hug: Luna does this to Fennekin (complete with bugged-out eyes), her starter Pokemon from Pokemon X and Y during her Cuteness Proximity moment mentioned below.
  • Beleaguered Assistant: The poor maid ponies...
  • Bigger Is Better in Bed: When Trixie gets hit with the r63 ray, Molestia says that "he" is on par with Big Mac in that area. Trixie is delighted to be better than Twilight at something, and Molly's immediate reaction is to want to take it for a test drive.
  • Black Comedy Rape: While Molly doesn't outright sexually assault the ponies (on-screen at least), she still sexually harasses and occasionally fondles them to her hearts content, much to the embarrassment of her victims. All of them are played for laughs.
  • Bound and Gagged: Happens twice to Rarity from Ask Lil Miss Rarity, then to an unfortunate maid.
  • Brain Bleach: Prince Blueblood wishes he had this after seeing Molestia having a rather passionate moment with Discord... while the latter was still a stone statue.
  • Brilliant, but Lazy: Despite being gluttonous, rather lazy, and supremely perverted, Molestia still has all of the power and intellect of the normal Celestia.
  • Cannot Spit It Out: Luna denies that there's anything between her and Derpy, and she goes to Derpy to ask if she has any feelings for her; Luna chokes.
  • Cerebus Retcon: As it turns out, the reason why Derpy has been staying with the princesses at Canterlot castle so much is that she's been homeless since December of 2012.
  • Cheshire Cat Grin: Molestia sports these pretty often when doing mischief unto her subjects. Can sometimes border on a Slasher Smile in some cases...
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: Molestia towards Twilight in varying degrees. Sometimes borders on Yandere, since Molly's made it clear that if Twilight ever gets a boyfriend, things will get rather... nasty.
    • Reaches its creepy conclusion when it's revealed that the true reason that Molestia turned Twilight into an immortal Alicorn is so she can have Twilight all to herself. FOREVER.
    • Naturally, she's not at all happy about the possibility of Twi getting together with Flash Sentry. Luckily for Flash, Molly hasn't deemed it necessary to Murder the Hypotenuse just yet, and is content to keep him under surveillance.
  • Comically Missing the Point: When Shining Armor and Cadance start getting intimate during one of their get-togethers, Molly suggests that she and Twilight join in, prompting the following exchange:
    Twilight: But that's my big brother right there!
    Molestia: I'm pretty sure he can handle the three of us.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment:
    • The last in a series of punishments for Trixie has Twilight give her an exam with a one-hour time limit. The exam itself looks to be several hundred pages long, and consists mostly of bizarre sexual questions.
    • The exam mentioned previously didn't quite turn out the way Molly wanted, so she thought up a new punishment for both Twilight and Trixie. It involves maple syrup.
  • Cosplay Otaku Girl: Molestia's not opposed to getting dressed up if the occasion calls for it, and she even puts on cosplay shows once in a while.
    • She even gets Luna involved, whether she wants to or not.
  • Covered in Gunge: The result of Molly's version of the Summer Sun Celebration.
  • Covert Pervert: Luna has been shown to have some traits of this.
  • Crazy-Prepared: When the Summer Solstice comes, Everypony Is Ready for the Occasion. Well, Sorta.
  • Crossover: The blog has had appearances by ponies from various other pony tumblr blogs, as well as characters from other franchises entirely.
  • Cuteness Proximity: Luna has this reaction when she manifests her starter Pokemon from Pokémon X and Y.
  • Dating Catwoman: Molestia admits that she has a thing for bad guys, and that she's been in relationships with Discord and King Sombra in the past. She was dumped in both cases.
  • Deconstruction Fic: Molest!, which shows what really happens when someone who has sex with everything that moves and even things that don't. However, it does go ahead and give it some Reconstruction as well.
  • Deep-Immersion Gaming: This is standard procedure for whenever we get a good look at Luna playing video games.
  • Demoted to Extra: At certain points in the blog, Molestia herself gets much less screentime. It's lampshaded.
  • Depending on the Writer: Some of the posts has Molestia being truely affable and considerate to ponies' feelings despite making really inappropriate sexual advances while some others has her acting somewhat sociopathic and very self-centred to a point of not giving a damn about others.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Molestia often deals this out to those unfortunate enough to incur her anger, even for perceived slights. In one instance, she claims to have thrown Applejack in the dungeon because she thought AJ was winking at her Twilight during the ceremony honoring the Mane Six for defeating Discord.
  • Dramatic Thunder: When Luna makes a declaration, this makes sure everyone knows about it.
  • Dream Walker: Luna's been giving us details on her various dream walks ever since the power was revealed.
  • Drinking Contest: Between Molestia and Luna for New Year's 2014; neither remembers who won.
  • Erotic Eating: The blog's icon depicts molly suggestively eating a popsicle (during Christmas, the popsicle changes to a candy cane). In the blog itself, one of Molly's most notable uses of this trope involves a tootsie pop.
    • Molly's also fond of pouring various kinds of syrups on herself and making others lick it off.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Molestia won't touch certain fetishes, such as necrophilia or vore, and won't violate anyone not of legal age. Nor will she fart in Luna's face while the latter is sleeping.
  • Exact Words: "I will be watching his ass. HIS ASS!" Poor Flash Sentry...
  • Fantastic Arousal: Apparently rubbing a unicorn's horn enough can have explosive results...
  • Flat Character: Generally speaking, Molestia doesn't have much in the way of character development, and is just there for fanservice (however... see Hidden Depths below).
    • Gamer Luna isn't much more than a consummate gamer (much like Molly's a consummate sex fiend), and the Straight Man to Molestia, aside from the usual Hidden Depths.
  • First Kiss: Luna hasn't had hers yet. This is quite an amazing feat of vigilance (and luck) when you consider that she lives with Molestia.
  • Freudian Excuse: Molestia seems to have some sort of problem in regards to her mother, of all ponies, as the mere thought of having to meet her mother makes her extremely scared and vulnerable. Though considering her mother is the kindly Lauren Fausticorn, it's a mystery as to what these issues may be.
    • It's implied that Molestia is desperate to avoid having to discuss her sex life.
    • Later on down the line, we start to get a look at why Molly's mother is such a tender subject: Turns out that the last time they had seen each other was just after Nightmare Moon had been sealed. While Fausticorn understood that Celestia didn't have a lot of options at the time, she still felt that Celestia could have prevented Luna's corruption entirely if she had been a better sister, and left after making Celestia promise to behave herself from then on. Celly's subsequent descent into debauchery as Molestia is thus a major source of self-shame, as she believes that she's long since broken her promise.
  • Gamer Chick: Luna, of course! Derpy also appears to be one.
    • Cadance is slowly developing into one.
    • Molly briefly became one when she and Luna Swapped Roles during the April Fool's installment mentioned above.
    • Luna and Derpy are often joined by Belle Eve, the ponysona of the NeoGAF forum.
  • Gender Bender: Molestia has a ray gun with this effect.
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