#5: Sandman's drunken attempt to do a promo for NoDQ.com's XMV (full promo here, Botchamania here)
#8: The now-legendary definition of a "windjammer":
Al: Can I ask you a question first of all? Lance: Go right ahead. Al: You know the definition of a windjammer? Lance: No I really don't— Al: It's the agonizing screams of a trapped turd. (Beat, followed by raucous laughter) Lance: ...shit!
Botchamania 11- 20
#11: Dave "The Redneck" Schultz's misadventures in San Francisco:
Schultz: Last time I was in San Francisco, I went downtown lookin' for a woman. You know what I'm saying?! I wanted a woman! I couldn't find a woman! (Mean Gene, conducting the interview, corpses) I found a lot of men that LOOKED LIKE women! (camera zooms in Schultz's face as Gene turns away) Now YOU, Hulk Hogan, you belong in San Francisco—What's wrong with you, Gene?!—I'm tellin' it like it is, baby! You belong in San Francisco; that's your kind of place, that's your kind of people, because you've never had a woman, baby!
Also, Sid Vicious says the following with an entirely straight face:
Sid Vicious: You know and I know that you are only half the man that I am, and I have half the brain that you do!
15: The Rock appears to be suffering from a bout of laryngitis, much to Mankind's amusement.
The Rock loses his glasses. And then Mankind retrieves them for him.
The Rock: The Rock thanks you for that.
18: The Rock + Coach + Broken Microphone = Hilarious.
20: Roddy Piper dropping an F-Bomb and Gene Okerlund's reaction.
"Hower Power". Period.
A Japanese wrestler has technical difficulties:
Wrestler: Oi! (mic isn't functioning properly, starts tinkering with it) (Audience laughs) Wrestler: (to someone in the crowd)<HEY! STFU>
Lex Luger goes berserk.
Lex Luger: I'm pissed, now!
Botchamania 21- 30
23: Sandman does a shoot interview which quickly turn's into a laugh fest as seen here
45: After his match with Triple H at One Night Stand: Extreme Rules (the one that injured his collarbone), a legitimately angry Randy Orton tells off a booing crowd.
52: "He got a BICYCLE!!! He got a BICYCLE from somebody, who would be ridin' a bicycle in this arena?![...]Speakin' of gibberish, Bubba went over and got him a bicycle, I don't know where the kid is that was a-ridin' it, but he ain't on it when he brought it to the ring!"
58: Randy Savage singing along with The Village People (no points for guessing which song).
Miss Elizabeth corpsing? SEND FOR THE...wait, never mind.
The classic "Cornette Face" is born.
Scott Hall and Kevin Nash shooting to RF Video about a tag match they had against Harlem Heat (Booker T and Stevie Ray), wherein Hall spat on Ray, who a) got really pissed off, and b) did not see it coming. Hall would immediately tag out after that.
Botchamania 109 opens with a high-energy intro to Survivor Series set against Guilty Gear music. In the middle of it all is a quick "Send ForThe Man" cutaway that goes against the tone so hard it's just hilarious.
A match that brings a whole new meaning to the term, "Garbage Wrestler".
Dusty Rhodes: It's a toilet lid! He's got a toilet lid! Look, a pizza pan!
125: CZW's Callihan has finally had enough of the fans blowing airhorns whenever he tries to speak. He manages to get a hold of one, let all the air out, and destroy it (Caption: "Air Horn Fan is defeated: Callihan Wins!")...only for more airhorns to go off.
(A meeting room taken from AKIRA, with the caption TNA Booking Meeting) Elderly Booker: The colonel suggests that we plan ahead and have RVD beat AJ on PPV for the belt, instead of having it on Impact! for free with no build. Asinine Booker: WHAT?! Is he taking the piss?! If we do that, the spotlight would be off Hogan! If we have the athleticism and wrestling emphasized, this'll make Hogan look bad! Doing it on TV won't give the fans the chance to think that! Crazy Booker: Can the Nasty Boys be involved in the finish? They need the rub. Half-Hit-in-the-Ass Booker: Nah, we fired them. What about Bubba the Love Sponge? He could squash Generation Me. Level-headed Booker: I fired him already! The bastard called me a black bitch! Crazy Booker: You are a black bitch! Level-headed Booker: WHAT THE FUCK?! Only Sane Booker: ENOUGH! Can't we push someone the fans want to see?! Asinine Booker: Of course! We can have Rob Terry beat RVD for the belt! (Beat) Only Sane Booker: (seething)FUCK THIS COMPANY!(storms off) I bet the McMahons aren't like this... (Jump Cut to a picture of the NERV emblem with the caption WWE Booking Meeting) Narrator: Meanwhile... Head Booker: Ah, fuck it...just give Swagger the belt.
138: The explanation of Eric Young's heel turn, cue Brother Ray face, cue stickman Cornette Face, horses (and one dolphin) leaping over a rainbow set to carnival music.
The legendary shooting star press that resulted in the wrestler landing chest-first on the same turnbuckle.
144: An announcer botches Raven's entrance, and it's all downhill from there.
Terry Funk's dream.
145: Lawsuitmania.
Sabu wrestles well, leading to the conclusion that he's either the reverse Samson or he botches botching. Just when you think you have all the answers, Sabu changes the questions.
Insane Dusty Commentary! The guy who sent in the match, "Spike", went and grabbed a bicycle to use as a weapon; 1) he shouted "HE GOT A BICYCLE!", 2) the crowd started a Botchamania chant, and 3) the commentator ran down Dusty Rhodes's infamous commentary from that moment, right down to the lisp and inflections Dusty used.
Botchamania 151- 160
150: The lead-in to the CZW segment is a clip from The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, where the Mask Salesman is about to get really pissed off at Link:
155: What do you get when you take a Sabu match with blown spots and other botches and set it to to the theme of Andy William's "The Impossible Dream"? Hilarity.
This ending to Botchamania 156, which equates Cena to a certain Super Mario character...
160: The very beginning, and repeating theme throughout of the Iron Sheik having a raging boner right before he put the camel clutch on Hulk Hogan.
One of the endings has audio clips of the announcer from NFL Blitz set to photos of wrestlers and the horrible angles they were involved in (the Montreal Screwjob, the Fingerpoke of Doom, the Shockmaster's entrance, etc.) Maffew inserts his own jokes about them, some of them straightforward (a sound byte of a player's name and the corresponding wrestler), some clever (a picture of Eddie Guerrero with the sound byte "Holmes!") some you can catch if your pause finger is fast enough.
What sounds like "She-he" with a picture of Chyna: "Sorry, that joke was a bit obvious. I was only kidding, anyway. Besides, who or what else could I put here? Orlando Jordan? Goldust?" Now that's just offensive!"
"Fat" with a picture of Samoa Joe: "Damn you, Scott Steiner promos! And your unintentional hilarity!"
"Should've stayed home today...hell, I should've stayed home..." with a picture of the Jeff Hardy vs. Sting title "match": "Oh, come on! Really?!"
Three uses of "Why?!" with the images of Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff shaking hands, Hornswoggle, and Michael Cole in succession.
#167: "I sat through two three-minute matches and Hornswoggle rapping, missed Danielson / Sheamus, and that's the WrestleMania main event?! "In response to the double count-out finish of the Cena/Miz match at WrestleMania XXVII (before the match restarted), the Cornette Medley, a collection of photoshopped Cornette Faces turning Jim Cornette into various people/characters such as The Iron Sheik, RoboCop, Konata Izumi, Arachniman, Kamina, Ash Ketchum, etc. Set to "Call on Me" (known to YTMNDers as the "X Never Changes Facial Expressions" song).
171: Diego "The Strangler" Corleone takes a tumble.
172: The "Muffler Incident". Nothing more needs to be said.
Robert Rhode cuts a promo involving a knock knock joke on Matt Hardy and his mystery tag partner Chris Harris (who left TNA to go to WWE and was renamed Braden Walker).
Fans: KNOCK KNOCK! WHO'S THERE? BRADEN WALKER!
173: Mean Gene Okerlund winds up mixing up the name of Daffney, a female wrestler, with Crowbar, a male wrestler.
Hey Mr. Anderson, watch out for that- (thud) ...microphone...
Botchamania 181- 190
181: It was a given that Maffew was going to add Triple H calling CM Punk a "skinny fat ass". What was not expected was superimposing Scott Steiner yelling "FAT ASSES!" on Triple H's forehead.
182: The New Age Outlaws mouth off.
183: "He just left a skidmark on that boy!". For once, Michael Cole is speechless.
Cornette Face: (superimposed on Conan O'Brien's Walker, Texas Ranger lever) Dear Maffew: Please stop using CZW clips. Sincerely, Cornette Face. (Conan pantomimes grabbing something and then punching it, sending the Cornette Face away. He then pulls the lever) SFX: JEEEEZUS!
188: Mr. Anderson has finally had enough with the microphone bloopers.
Mr. Anderson: AAAASSSHOOOOLLES!!!
More CZW clips?! NOOOOOOOO!!!
(Belch)
189: The Hangover - style ending, featuring everyone from Cody Rhodes and Kelly Kelly to Hornswoggle to New Jack and The Iron Sheik getting absolutely shitfaced at a party and being all different kinds of stupid.
Hit a dropkick, land on head—that's Ric Blade's career in 10 seconds."
Introducing the British Table.
193: Booker T discusses the "We comin' fo' YOU, nigga!" moment.
A typical CZW setup is turned on its ear when it instead cuts to Chuck Norris at a WWE event kicking down another wrestler; cut back to Conan O'Brien, only with Vince Russo's head superimposed over his, with "SWERVE" as the caption. It then goes into CZW as normal.
195: Samoa Joe legit K Os his opponent in a match. Since he can't wrestle anymore, his partner has to drag him back to his own corner and tag his unconscious body.
198: It's Iron Sheik Appreciation Night at CZW, apparently.
The CZW clips are setup with Randy Orton's theme playing (specifically "I Hear Voices in My Head, They Counsel Me, They Understand, They Talk to Me). Before Conan pulls the lever, the phrase "PULL IT" blinks in and out repeatedly around him.
First came Insane Dusty Commentary, then Inane Black Snow commentary, then there was Insipid Taz commentary, even Intoxicated Piper Commentary, and then #200 gave us Imbecilic Michael Cole Commentary.
201: Mark Haskins landing on his neck after a botched Shooting Star Press. What makes the comedy of this moment is that Brock Lesnar's entrance music is playing during the clip! In case you don't get it, Brock Lesnar's most famous botch was nearly exactly like that of Haskins'.
Suddenly, NINJAS! Thousands of them! Hey, Mr. Ninja! Watch out for that—(crash)...camera.
A joshi wrestler does a big splash off the top rope...and her mask flies off.
The very fact that Kurt Angle made light of the fact that he could say whatever he wanted and get cheered was hilarious enough, but what do you think it was the setup for?
Kurt: Truth be told, I'm not a fan of "the black people." And if I would go back in time, the one person in history I'd want to make tap out would have to be... (Conan O'Brien and his Walker, Texas Ranger lever are superimposed over the face of Daivari) SFX: JEEZUS!
202: The setup for CZW is heralded by game footage from Star Fox 64. As in, hitting the eight locks and shooting the rail switcher to make the Forever Train crash into a fuel bunker and explode:
Peppy: Okay, now shoot the switcher! Zandig: NOBODY DOES THIS TO ZANDIG! (The tank then shoots the switcher) SFX: (as a communique from Conan O'Brien and his Walker, Texas Ranger lever)JEEZUS! Peppy: Good going, Fox!
Adam Pearce and his manager argue with a fan to the point they start doing breath exercises, but it backfires spectacularly with "Scarp Iron corpsing? SEND FOR THE MAN!"
204: In "Sing Along With Ex-Drew Gulak Fans", the CZW crowd really gives it to Drew with chants of "Whit-ney Hous-ton", "Brook-lyn Braw-ler", "Bar-ry Hor-o-witz", "Giiiiiillberg", "S.D. Jones", "Cena sucks", "Turtle-neck", "Su-per Dra-gon", "Fuck this shit", "Wife-beater", "You screwed Bret", "H-B-K" and "Under-taker". The commentators nearly lose it while Drew is understandably pissed.
At TNA Victory Road '12, Jeremy Borash holds a cell phone and tells us that "Victory Road" is the No. 1 Twitter trend in the United Kingdom. Maffew then exposes TNA as bad liars by saying, "There's no legal way of watching TNA PPVs live in the UK. Be careful what you brag about."
205: An extremely heavy man makes his debut for an indy promotion, leans back on the ropes during his introduction... and breaks the ring. Maffew even works in the losing horns from The Price Is Right to add insult to injury.
Poor Maria Menounos really gets it in this Botchamania for her performance at WrestleMania XXVIII. Sure, she got a lot of acclaim for working most of the match with broken ribs, but it's not her overall performance that gets nitpicked by Maffew. For starters, Maria and Kelly Kelly performed a double stinkface to Eve and as Maffew points out, "Celebrity Woman stinkfaces Eve. Her fake tan rubs off on her arse*
What do you get when you take Scott Steiner and Triple H's godawful match at Royal Rumble 03 and set it to the tune of "Sneaking" from MGS:VR Missions This.
