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- Improbable Age: In the first show, the cast are in their second year at Hogwarts, and yet they're all played by college students. First-year students are called "freshmen", they curse like sailors, and they're all quite preoccupied with romantic and sexual feelings for each other. Only midway through Act Two is it mentioned that, yes, they actually are only 12 years old. Turned up a notch in Sequel, when they're 11 and things get even raunchier.
- Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Very few of the actors bother to sound British unless they're invoking Evil Brit. Then again, the trilogy goes back and forth about whether it's even set in Britain. Aversions are noted in individual character sheets.
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Darren Criss, Sango Tajima (past Harry), Clark Baxtresser (Senior Year album)
"No way? You listen to me now: for eleven years, I was a Muggle douchebag living under some stairs. This year, I found out I'm a wizard, and I'm famous. I can fly and turn invisible, and I just traveled the fuck back in time! So fuck you, Draco, how's that for a happy thought? So there is absolutely no way... that there is no way. You hear me?"Much like his canon counterpart, Harry Potter is "the boy who lived", an orphan made famous by being the only wizard to ever survive Voldemort's killing curse. However in this universe he embraces his fame and sees himself as the coolest kid in school who can charm anyone with his guitar. He's a bit too full of himself, as it turns out, but as the show goes on, he begins to grow as a person and get ready to face his fate as he battles Voldemort.
- Aesop Amnesia: He's back to being an arrogant jerk at the beginning of each year.
- Big Man on Campus: Harry comes to Hogwarts and is immediately bombarded with praise, worship, and musical accompaniment which inflates his ego to the size of a zeppelin. By his second year at Hogwarts, he's really just another student, but his ego hasn't changed to accommodate his lowered popularity.
- Character Development: Once Voldemort returns, it hits him just how in over his head he's been.
- Dying Declaration of Love: "I love you all. Except you, Draco, I can't fucking stand you. Goodbye."
- Even the Guys Want Him: There's a bit of Homoerotic Subtext in the way he's viewed by Ron, Draco, Dumbledore, Snape, the list goes on.
- Expository Hairstyle Change: His hair is much shorter in Senior Year than in the previous shows. The significance there is fairly meta, as in every musical he simply has Darren's real hair, and the show contains some Reality Subtext about Darren leaving his Team Starkid days behind.
- Famed In-Story: As in canon, he's a legend in the Wizarding World, as detailed in the song "Harry Freakin' Potter".
- Funny Afro: Past!Harry.
- Genre Blind:
- He gets better, but at the beginning of the first musical, he's so blinded by his sky-high self-esteem he doesn't realize Chosen Ones have to fight Dark Lords.
- This line delivered to Umbridge, which gets a well-deserved Slasher Smile in response:Harry: I'm not afraid of you! You're a teacher, you can't hurt me! Do your worst!
- The Hero: Harry is the chosen one to defeat the Dark Lord and boy, does he know it. Turns out being the center of the universe makes you quite the narcissist.
- Heroic B.S.O.D.: At the Darkest Hour of Musical and Sequel, and for most of Senior Year, in which he travels to Godric's Hollow in an attempt to find himself.
- I Just Want to Be Normal: Subverted. He's Harry freakin' Potter and he loves it.
- In-Series Nickname: Lots of folks call him "HP".
- Informed Attribute: The Scarf of Sexual Preference sorts him as metrosexual. The only time he exhibits this is immediately afterward, when he criticizes the shoes that come with his Hogwarts uniform.
- It's All About Me: On the subject of summoning a Patronus:Ron: I'm thinking about Harry!
Harry: Oh, cool, I was thinking about me too.
- Jerk Ass: Especially in Senior Year.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: On a good day pre-Character Development.
- Kirk Summation: Gives a fairly book-faithful one to Voldemort in Musical, and another to Umbridge in Sequel telling her not to dwell on the past. Both speeches receive a Shut Up, Kirk! in response.
- The Leader: Harry leads his friends against Voldemort when the Order of the Phoenix and the Hogwarts staff fails.
- Oblivious to Love: Ginny's advances go right over his head as he lusts after Cho.
- Only Sane Man: In Act 2 of Musical.
- O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Ron (and, hilariously enough, the audience) react with shock when he says he doesn't want a Red Vine.
- Out of Focus: He's slightly less prominent in the third musical. Very, very mild example, as he's still the main protagonist, but the narrative is also carried by several other characters and even Harry's portions of the story have other characters do the heavy lifting as far as dialogue and singing, since Darren didn't have the time to learn a lead role's worth of lines and songs.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Unsuccessfully attempts a "screw the rules, I'm famous":Umbridge: Permission form to Hogsmeade?
Harry: Ah, no, I'm Harry Potter.
- Screw Yourself: Doesn't actually pull it off, but when he first sees his past self:Harry: Oh my God, who's that? I think I'm in love.
- Self-Deprecation: In his more humble moments, he's prone to giving "The Reason You Suck" speeches to himself, first in the song "Hey Dragon", where he admits that he's not that special without his friends, and in Sequel as part of his You Are Better Than You Think You Are speech to Hermione.Harry: In the Muggle world, I'm just a... I'm something called a douchebag.
Harry: A douchebag, Herman. I play guitar when everybody just wants to hang out, I... I make weird covers of Disney songs, who does that? You see, Muggles hate that shit. To them, I'm just... I'm just a douchebag. I'm like, I don't know, I'm like... Jesse McCartney? I'm like Jesse McCartney. I'm Jesse McCartney's douche!
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Harry is particularly foulmouthed in Senior Year.
- That Makes Me Feel Angry: Takes a cheap shot at canon!Harry's exaggerated fury in such places as the fifth book or third film.Harry: I'M IN A RAGE! THIS IS THE MADDEST I'VE EVER BEEN!
- That Man Is Dead: In Senior Year, as he begins to lose his reputation and purpose, he claims he's not Harry Potter anymore. In a moment of anger, Ron agrees.
- The World Is Just Awesome: When he's at his most earnest, he'll very sincerely gush about how special life in the Wizarding world is.
- You Are Better Than You Think You Are: Gives Hermione a speech to this effect in Sequel.Harry: At Hogwarts, it's cool to be who you are. It's cool to be unique, and that's all right. So hey, maybe you're not very pretty, like Cho Chang. Or maybe you're not as fun, like Ron.
Ron: Or cool, like Snape.
Harry: But you know what? You are smart. Like Hermione. And I for one would love to have a friend who could do my Ancient Runes essay.
Hermione: You mean it?
Harry: Yep, 'cause it's due tomorrow.
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Joey Richter, Brian Rosenthal (past Ron)
"You're Harry Potter! You're the coolest goddamn kid in the entire world! Everything's awesome for you, so you'd better get used to it!"Harry's best friend, seemingly as lazy and big-headed as Harry, but beneath that headband there's a kind and caring hero who'll do anything to prove himself, defend his friends, and do what's right.
- Adaptational Badass: Harry may have been this in the books and Hermione in the movies, but here, it’s Ron's turn to shine.
- Aesop Amnesia: Like Harry, he's a jerk at the beginning of Musical despite the events of Sequel. Unlike Harry, his (chronological) second round of character development is still with him at the beginning of Senior Year.
- Batman Gambit: Pulls one against the Death Eaters that involves two fake pizza boxes.
- Big Brother Bully: To Ginny in the first half. He gets better in the second act.
- Big Eater: Ron has a different snack in every scene of the first musical. When he complains about not having a snack in one scene, he is promptly handed one by the pianist. Word of God says that this version of Ron is so poor that he tries to eat as much free food as he can while at Hogwarts.
- The Big Guy: Ron is definitely the muscle of Harry's group considering he is the tallest and the only one with any type of physical strength. And like most strong men, Ron is dumb as bricks.
- Bi the Way: The Scarf of Sexual Preference sorts him as "Bi-curious", which he accepts with a cheery shrug.
- The Big Guy: Can also be considered The Lancer. His "I Am" Song, "Sidekick", is about how he's content in this role, specifically about how it makes him The Heart.
- Cannot Spit It Out: Ron's spends all of the sequel attempting to tell Hermione about his feelings, but never does. Even in the original (chronologically after the sequel), he has a whole duet in Act 1 stressing about his feelings and only comes clean to Hermione when their lives are in danger come Act 2.
- Character Development: Goes through it at the same pace as Harry, though his is fueled by his relationship with Hermione rather than the big picture.
- Felony Misdemeanor: He spirals into self-loathing, believing himself to be a cheating scumbag, after receiving a peck on the cheek from Lavender.
- Iconic Item: His headband, so iconic that Joey Richter also wore it in Me and My Dick and Starship. Sequel reveals that he got it from Harry, who used to wear it to hide his scar.
- Incoming Ham: Introduces himself at the beginning of each show with a big entrance and a "Did somebody say Ron?" His entrances also tend to include a Seinfeld-esque bass riff.
- Jerkass: As admitted by him.Ron: I've been acting like a real jerkass lately...
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Regardless of where the two buds are at in their development, you can be sure that Ron is sweeter and cuter than Harry.
- Mr. Exposition: He's the one who explains Harry's own origin story to him. In song form.
- My Sister Is Off-Limits!: Subverted; he first yells at Harry and Ginny for kissing, then laughs it off and says he's cool with it. Double subverted in Senior Year, when Harry and Ginny break up and he's immensely relieved, saying he'd spent five years pretending to be okay with it. Triple subverted when he explains that the reason he didn't like the relationship was because Ginny was hanging around with them all the time.
- Once an Episode: His first line in each show is "Did somebody say Ron?" (well, this isn't quite true of the first one, but the spirit is there).
- Power-Up Food: When he finds himself in times of trouble, he always turns to Red Vines and on at least one occasion they wind up saving the day.
- In the first show, he uses powdered donuts to replenish himself after destroying the second to last Horcrux.
- Product Placement: Likes looking directly into the camera and shilling Red Vines, to say nothing of all the name-brand snacks he eats throughout the first show.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Red Vines in Sequel. In the original, pretty much anything he can get his hands on. It’s downplayed in Senior Year, where he just has a bottle of water in one scene.
- Undying LoyaltyHarry: Nobody wants me here! And I don't blame them. Who would care about a loser like me?
Ron: Losers like us, that's who.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: With Snape, of all people. They're just as likely to exchange a friendly greeting as they are to treat each other the way they do in canon.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Played for Laughs in Musical:Ron: No, no, no, no, no, this isn't about you. Why does every conversation we have, have to turn into Potter Talk?
Harry: It's not Potter Talk…
Ron: No! I'm miserable and all you can do is talk about yourself. You're like the most self-absorbed guy I know! If you' were miserable, I would be there for you but you won't even listen to me, and I'm sick of it. So—so—so good luck with whatever you were talking about and I hope that you and Voldemort live happily ever after because me, I am never going to be happy again. So I'm just going to go curl up in my sock drawer and sleep for days.
- ...And later Played for Drama in Senior Year, first when he gives a huge speech to the entire student body, chiding them for turning against Harry after everything he's done for them. He later has to give another one to Harry after tracking him down.
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Bonnie Gruesen (Musical, Sequel), Meredith Stepien (Senior Year), Richard Campbell (past Hermione)
"Oh my! Two boys want my kisses. Now I know how Katniss feels."Badass Bookworm Hermione is probably the closest in canon terms to her original counterpart, the only difference now being that she has become the Butt-Monkey of Hogwarts. She tries in vain to help Harry on his journey, but learns to step aside and allow him to learn and grow on his own.
- Accidental Misnaming: In her first year, nobody could get her name right. "Thanks, Herman!"
- All Women Are Prudes: The Scarf of Sexual Preference sorts her as "waiting 'til marriage". In Senior Year, she apparently hasn't kissed Ron in five years.
- Beautiful All Along: At the Yule Ball. They actually manage to avert Unnecessary Makeover; she looks substantially better. They still manage to poke fun at the trope, though:Hermione: I used to think looks weren't important, and now I think they're more important than anything!
- Brainy Brunette: Natch.
- Brief Accent Imitation: Does a Sebastian impression when wondering about Ginny's odd behavior.
- Butt-Monkey: Her first year is spent getting misnamed, being ruthlessly mocked for her art, and insulted for her appearance. This improves measurably by her second year, when people know her name.
- Fangirl: In Senior Year, we discover she's a young adult novel enthusiast and fanfic writer.
- Head-Tiltingly Kinky: Her writing.Gilderoy: Well, let's have a look-see… hmm… mm-hmm… oh… oh… oh my… ew! Oh my God, Hermione, this is absolutely depraved! I love it!
Gilderoy: Hell yes! This makes Fifty Shades of Grey look like a fucking book for kids!
- Hot for Teacher: She pretends to be hot for Lockhart in an attempt to make Ron jealous.
- Informed Attractiveness: It's more likely to be informed unattractiveness, but there are moments. For example, everyone gushes over her at the Yule Ball.
- In Sequel, both Ron and Draco have a Freudian Slip about her boobs; Ron calling them "enormous" and Draco calling them "beautiful".
- And, of course, in Senior Year, the fact that Meredith Stepien is a lot hotter than Bonnie Gruesen is immediately lampshaded.
- Informed Deformity: She's apparently considered to be so ugly that she's often mistaken for some kind of monster.
- Misaimed Fandom: In-Universe, she's one of those people who reads The Hunger Games for the Love Triangle.Hermione: Ron, did you finish reading The Hunger Games? I gave you the first book weeks ago.
Ron: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… Yes. Yes, it was… it was good. It was a good… it was a good… game.
Hermione: Oh yeah? What was it about?
Ron: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, it was about, um… a, ummmm, hungry! Hungry… hungry withholding girl who won't kiss her boyfriend!
Hermione: You DID read it!
- The Nth Doctor: In Senior Year, she's first seen wearing a Death Eater mask, gets punched in the face, and has a faulty Reparo spell cast on her broken nose. Only then does the mask come off to reveal she's now played by Meredith Stepien.
- Oblivious to Love: Seemingly to the feelings that both Draco and Ron hold for her, though in Sequel it's revealed that she had been informed of Draco's feelings the previous year, which explains her lack of reaction.
- Only Sane Man: At the beginning of the first musical, Hermione is the only character concerned that Harry was mysteriously put in a life-or-death competition. It's only once the Triwizard Tournament ends and Voldemort's plans become well-known that anyone else begins to care about saving the world.
- Phrase-Catcher: "Thanks, Hermione!", usually said when her running her mouth has lost Gryffindor points but occasionally said sincerely. In Sequel, it's "Thanks, Herman!" Also a condescending "You're the best!" from Harry every time she saves his ass.
- Precision F-Strike: She hardly ever curses, making her reaction to Lockhart's babbling all the more impactful:Hermione: What a fucking idiot...
- Progressively Prettier: Chronologically, her hair is much neater in Musical than in Sequel, and in Senior Year a botched Reparo spell gives her a much prettier face.
- The Smart Guy: Hermione is the Only Sane Man and the only person to study at Hogwarts at all.
- Taken for Granite: As in Chamber of Secrets, she's out of commission for the climax of Senior Year because of this.
- Threesome Subtext: When cornered by a werewolf, she tells Harry and Ron "I'm in love with you both!" In Senior Year, both Ron and Draco propose to her and she's deliberately vague about which one she accepts.
- You Need a Breath Mint: Her Big Damn Kiss with Ron is interrupted when he calls her breath "ungodly" and stuffs her face with breath spray and chewable mints.
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Lauren Lopez, Jim Povolo (past Draco)
"My name is Draco Malfoy. I am a racist, I despise gingers and Mudbloods, I hate Gryffindor House, and my parents work for the man who killed your parents. Do you want to be my friend?"A petite wizard who rivals and bullies Harry and his friends. Initially a Slytherin pure-blood supremacist, Draco hates Harry for being the coolest kid in school instead of him and longs to transfer to Pigfarts, a wizarding school on Mars which he claims exists. He develops a massive crush on Hermione.
- Adaptational Heroism: Generally, he's still a pureblood supremacist and wannabe Death Eater, but his love for Hermione and genuine belief that Harry is the coolest guy in school always brings him over to Harry's team in the end.
- Bifauxnen: Played by a pretty woman, Draco looks good, in an androgynous-femmy way.
- Big Bad Wannabe: As in canon, he talks a lot of tough talk, but can't back it up.
- Butt-Monkey: Draco gets respect from precisely no-one and unlike in the book he doesn't have any influence or much cunning to get back at the trio with.
- Cassandra Truth: Draco brags about Pigfarts, a wizarding school on Mars with a lion headmaster named Rumbleroar, but Harry, Ron, and Hermione don't believe him. As it turns out, it's all true. He was vindicated in their unseen third year, which was apparently spent at Pigfarts itself.
- Cloudcuckoolander:Draco: Pigfarts, Pigfarts, here I come. Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum, yum yum...
- Composite Character: Takes on the role of Viktor Krum in the Goblet of Fire part of the plot: a champion from a morally-suspicious house/school with a crush on Hermione. He's enough of a Cloudcuckoolander to be a substitute Luna Lovegood as well.
- Cross-Cast Role: Wonderfully portrayed by a petite woman.
- Evil Brit: Shares this trait with several other antagonistic characters.
- Flanderization: The fact that he wears a diaper was a very brief sight gag in the first musical. In the second, it's one of the defining aspects of his character.
- Half-Human Hybrid: As revealed by Lucius in AVPS, Draco's real father is none other than Dobby, the house-elf.
- Harmless Villain: Considering how much everyone hates and makes fun of Draco, it's worth noting that up until the point where he conspires with Voldemort to smuggle the Death Eaters into Hogwarts he never actually does anything that evil. He just snarks at Harry's group, calls them names and is a general nuisance. True, one of those names was a racist slur but it was still just a name (and he gets his comeuppance for it immediately). It's no wonder he does a Face–Heel Turn when you consider how everyone has treated him up to that point.
- Heel–Face Turn: Once per show. And they actually pull that off without resorting to Aesop Amnesia.
- Inadvertent Entrance Cue: Like Ron, his first line in the trilogy is "Did someone say Draco Malfoy?" And no, no one did.
- Kick the Dog: Future!Draco lies and tells Ron that he and Hermione don't end up together.
- The Lancer: In terms of the dynamic of Harry's team, Draco is constantly trying to be as cool as Harry and failing. He has a heart but he doesn't show it off often. He also serves as the Sixth Ranger as he joined the group later, flirts with evil, and gets in heated clashes with Harry and Ron.
- Large Ham: There are large hams, and then there are large hams who roll around on the floor...
- Literal-Minded: When Draco hears that dancing is for pansies, he decides to find someone named Pansy so he can dance.Goyle: Dancing is for pansies.
Draco: You there, what's your name?
Draco: Perfect! You're going to the dance with me.
- Love Epiphany: After fantasizing about Hermione for the whole play, he finally realizes how he feels when he sees her at the Yule Ball.
- Love Redeems: Draco starts off an arrogant racist, but his massive crush for Hermione drives him to sacrifice his own ambitions and help Harry defeat Voldemort.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: "It's 'cause you're a fucking elf!"
- Manchild: Not a grown man, but he is an 11-year-old who wears a diaper, and carries around a Dora the Explorer doll at the age of 17 (19 if you count the time he was taking The Slow Path).
- Mighty Whitey: Takes over a tribe of centaurs, who revere him due to his knowledge of the future.
- Musicalis Interruptus: Snape prevents him from singing the Pigfarts song, and in both Musical and Sequel the lights go down on him just as he starts attempting to sing.
- The Napoleon: Draco is just about the shortest person in the show apart from Sango Tajima (Lavender).
- Phrase-Catcher: Inevitably, whenever someone gets mad at his antics they will say "Draco, you little shit!"
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Draco's first scene has him casually admitting that he's a racist (who hates gingers, mudbloods, and Gryffindor house).
- Raging Stiffie: Covers one up at the Yule Ball when he sees Hermione.
- Reformed, but Not Tamed: Even though Draco has rejected Voldemort by his third year, he is just as much of a Narcissist as he was back in his first year.
- Second Love: Luna Lovegood. However, this apparently didn't work out, as he's back to pursuing Hermione by Senior Year.
- The Sixth Ranger: Joins Harry's team late in the game each time.
- Slouch of Villainy: Constantly fails at this in the most hilarious way possible.
- The Slow Path: Spends his past self's first and second years living amongst the centaurs waiting for the timeline to catch up.
- Small Name, Big Ego: A short blond boy soprano who struts around bragging about the most nonsensical of things, while attempting to strike cool poses. Thing is, he's so over the top in his bizarreness that the kids he bullies don't even know how to respond.
- Super Loser: Proof that being a wizard doesn't make you awesome.
- Teeny WeenieLucius: Why else would you have such a little D?
Draco: It's so small.
- Then Let Me Be Evil: He's nothing but nice to Harry throughout Senior Year despite Harry treating him like dirt, and is willing to surrender the duel for the title of Head Boy. Harry rebuffing him before he can make the offer pushes him over the edge and he turns back to the dark side.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: In spite of ultimately being rejected by Hermione, Draco finds a Second Love in Luna Lovegood, who also wears diapers and knows about Pigfarts.
- Took a Level in Badass: In Sequel, Draco presents himself as far more competent and mature than the rest of the cast while foiling the villain's plans.
- Took a Level in Kindness: As he likes to point out, he's really nice now!
- Unnecessary Combat Roll: Minus the combat. Basically, Draco is always trying to strike a cool pose but instead ends up falling on the ground. He then acts like he did it intentionally and ends up looking even more hilariously ridiculous.
- Walking Armory: In addition to his wand, Future!Draco keeps a gun in his sock and a sword down the back of his pants.
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy: What he desperately wants from Lucius in Sequel.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: He technically doesn't appear in the second act of Sequel at all. Future!Draco does, and he takes over Draco's character arc, but that leaves first-year Draco's storyline hanging.
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel (cameo), Senior YearPlayed by: Jaime Lyn Beatty
"Mom! Have you seen my boyfriend Harrypotter?"Ron's little sister with a huge crush on Harry. Ginny is initially left out of the group as the Power Trio goes on their adventures, mainly due to her annoying behavior and Ron's brotherly attitude towards her. She truly cares for Harry though and is heartbroken over his crush on Cho. Later when she proves to be kind and truly understanding of Harry's misfortunes, he starts to fall for her as well. Eventually, Ginny finds herself joining in the battle against Voldemort as she proves herself to be the right girl for Harry, as well as showing off a powerful set of pipes.
- Annoying Younger Sibling: In Ron's opinion, at first.
- Butt-Monkey: Ginny is frequently ignored and pushed around even by her family for the sake of Black Comedy.
- The Chick: In addition to being the Love Interest, Ginny genuinely cares for everyone in Harry's group (even Draco, who no one else can stand) and inspires Harry when no one else can.
- Competence Zone
- The way she falls outside of it in the first half of the series is spoofed in Sequel, where 10-year-old Ginny is a thumb-sucker whose only line is an uncanny impression of a crying baby.
- Senior Year implies that she still falls outside of it, as she's excluded from the the Department of Mysteries mission, which otherwise contains the same lineup as in Order of the Phoenix.
- Demonic Possession: Her condition for much of Senior Year.
- Demoted to Extra: Has a minor, non-speaking appearance in Sequel.
- Full-Name Basis: Has a tendency to call Harry by his full name, with emphasis on his first name, so it sounds like she's calling him "Harrypotter".
- Genki Girl: She's nuts for things she's enthuasiastic about... which is mostly just Harry.
- Hypocritical Humor: She assures Ron that girls don't care much for grand, dramatic displays of effection... just before Harry bursts in and gives her just such a display and she squees in response.
- It's Not You, It's My Enemies: Harry uses this excuse to dump Ginny, causing them to have an argument while using the Spider-Man Trilogy as examples.
- Large Ham: She has an intensely expressive rubber face and reacts with max emotion to everything. Especially when possessed by Voldemort in Senior Year. She's like a cross between Radical Edward and Misa Amane.
- The Load: To Ron in the sequel. She's apparently attached to him so much that he's overjoyed when Molly takes her away so that Ron and his brothers can catch the train.Ron: Yes! Freedom!
- Love Interest: Eventually, to Harry.
- My Sister Is Off-Limits!: Harry initially recoils from kissing Ginny, since she's Ron's sister. It turns out, he's totally cool with it.
- People Puppets: Diary!Voldemort, being insubstantial, uses her to punch people in the face.
- The Watson: With Harry and his friends well established in their second year, freshman Ginny provides an opportunity for the audience to learn about things Harry and the gang know. She ends up getting things like Cho Chang and the Invisibility Cloak explained to her.
- Appears in: Musical, Senior YearPlayed by: Tyler Brunsman
"Hufflepuffs are particularly good FINDers."A Hufflepuff boy who is unknowingly a rival against Harry for Cho's affections, chosen as the Hufflepuff champion during House Cup tournament. He gets into a fight with Harry over Cho during the Yule Ball and ends up murdered by Voldemort.
- The Ace: Cedric Diggory, who looks and sounds exactly like the typical Disney prince, never sounds anything less than ecstatic while romancing the most popular girl at Hogwarts. Everyone loves him, except the envious and arrogant Harry Potter.
- Beta Couple: The Cedric/Cho relationship has some prominence, tertiary to those of Harry/Ginny and Ron/Hermione.
- Butt-Monkey: He and the rest of the Hufflepuffs are often ridiculed.
- Death of the Hypotenuse: Subverted. Cedric does die, leaving Cho available for The Hero, Harry. But by then Harry's pretty much over her, so the death contributes nothing to any romance.
- Famous Last Words: "So many regrets... I'm dead."
- Happily Married: Turns out he found love in the afterlife, to Lily Potter of all people.
- Hufflepuff House: A big part of his schtick is boasting about Hufflepuff, a house no one else knows or cares about.Dumbledore: What the hell is a Hufflepuff?
- Nice Guy: He's impeccably polite, even when informing Harry that he's about to punch him in the face.
- Perpetual Smiler: His smile is so ever-present that it is a bit creepy, although it continues to be somewhat charming. He even keeps his grin while getting punched in the face by Harry.
- Running Gag: Hufflepuffs are apparently very good at FINDING things.
- Sickeningly Sweethearts: With Cho.
- Verbal Tic: He claims that the mark of a true Hufflepuff is being able to find things, and works a reference to finding into nearly every sentence, placing an odd emphasis on the word. On one easily-missed-yet-memetic occasion, the mention of Hufflepuff causes him to simply blurt out the word "Find!"Harry: You suck so much, Cedric!
Cedric: We'll agree to disagree. I'm glad we could FIND some common ground.
Harry: Aaaggh! I can't believe you're still doing that!
Cedric: Well, if it isn't broke, don't FIND a way to fix it.
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Devin Lytle, Nick Lang (Musical album)
"How am I supposed to stay abstinent when I have got a reputation to maintain?! Professor Flitwick is gonna fail me now..."The "super-mega-foxy-awesome-hot" Cho is Harry's initial crush who is going out with Cedric Diggory, and the Ravenclaw champion in the House Cup Tournament. Despite what her name suggests, she is actually a white Southern Belle.
- Accent Upon The Wrong Syllable: Calls her boyfriend "Cedric dig-GOR-y".
- Age Lift: Just like in the movies, she's in Harry's year instead of one year above.
- Alpha Bitch: In her first year.
- Bare Your Midriff: As a Quidditch referee.
- Beta Couple: With Cedric, despite being in the Love Triangle.
- Composite Character: Cho also fulfills the role of Fleur Delacour during the tournament, mainly by being a pretty girl champion from a blue-colored house/school of all girls, much like the film-version of Beauxbatons.
- Even the Girls Want Her: She's an object of desire to everyone in Hogwarts, even the girls.
- Fille Fatale: In her first year, she's very flirtatious and apparently promiscuous. She's eleven.
- Flanderization: Cho is far more promiscuous and vain in the Sequel than in the original, though it could be attributed to her personality being younger and more immature.
- Girl Posse: Lavender and Pansy follow her around.
- Gratuitous Foreign Language: Drops the occasional rudimentary Chinese (and Japanese) phrase, implying her name is more indicative than it seems.
- Hot for Teacher: In the sequel.Cho: Too bad you were jokin', Professor, 'cause I could have been your greatest adventure.
- Ms. Fanservice: In the sequel. She goes from wearing a school uniform to a school uniform.
- Nonindicative Name: Ginny assumes the only Asian girl in the cast is Cho Chang. Turns out that's Lavender Brown—Cho is a white girl with an extremely Southern accent.Ron: (dope slap) RACIST sister!
- Once an Episode: Her image caption, which she says immediately after the climax of each story.
- Race Lift: She's white, because it's funny.
- Really Gets Around: In her first year, she dated almost every boy in her grade and even flirted with the teachers.
- Self-Deprecation: Spends the deathday party continuously putting herself down in an effort to get Harry to compliment her. All he ever says in response is "You're fine."
- Sickeningly Sweethearts: With Cedric.
- Southern Belle: She's Cho Chang, y'all.
- Statuesque Stunner: Devin Lytle towers over every other woman in the show.
- Verbal Tic, y'all. It even spreads to other characters, who occasionally refer to her as "Cho Chang, y'all".
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Richard Campbell, Nick Lang (Musical album), Pierce Siebers (Senior Year album)
"My, look at these strapping young men."A fellow student attending Hogwarts in the Gryffindor house with Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny. Their only fellow Gryffindor in the first musical.
- Adaptation Dye-Job: A brunette in the movies, he's blond here, though the books never mention his hair color and J.K. says he's blond.
- Butt-Monkey: The only character who gets more abuse than Hermione and Ginny is Neville, who is treated like a nerdy doormat who exists to be tortured by Goyle. The one time Goyle doesn't attack him, Neville is beaten up by Harry and the other students.
- Catch-Phrase: "Oh, d-d-d-dear!"
- Crazy-Prepared: A lack of materials keeping you from carrying out someone's Zany Scheme? Good thing Neville somehow has exactly what you need.
- Demoted to Extra: When Dean and Seamus started appearing in the series, it caused Neville to lose some screentime.
- Ludicrous Precision: Estimates Peter Pettigrew's time of death as exactly 10 minutes and 36 seconds ago, even lampshading that he's "no coroner".
- Malicious Misnaming: Often called "Schlongbottom".
- Progressively Prettier: After the first musical, Richard Campbell lost a bit of weight and the character lost the Nerd Glasses and the dorky scarf.
Crabbe and Goyle
Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior Year (Goyle only)Played by: Julia Albain (Crabbe), Jim Povolo (Goyle), Nick Lang (Goyle, Musical album)
"WE HATE NERDS!"
"And girls!"Draco Malfoy's Slytherin sidekicks who hate nerds and girls.
- Big Guy, Little Guy: Goyle is a giant of a man and Crabbe isn't much taller than Draco.
- The Brute: Oh, Goyle rules!
- Cross-Cast Role: Crabbe.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Crabbe is killed off-stage at the beginning of Senior Year.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Join the rebellion against Umbridge after being given detention.Seamus: You guys hate Umbridge too? I thought you guys would've gotten along, seeing as she's a bitch and you guys are dicks.
Crabbe: That's what we were hoping for, but no such luck.
- Expy: Goyle, of Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds.
- Hidden Depths: Goyle drinks chamomile tea before he goes to sleep. Which is as close to Hidden Depths as you get with Goyle.
- These get a lot deeper in AVPSY; he shows genuine remorse when Crabbe dies, he agrees that Draco shouldn't fight Harry to preserve their friendship, and he draws a picture of an old, majestic owl.
- Hulk Speak: Goyle refers to himself in the third-person as he smashes through weaker students.
- Nice Hat: Crabbe wears a baseball cap. In the first musical, it's got a Slytherin-themed checkerboard pattern; in the second, it's black.
- No Indoor Voice: Again, Goyle.
- Shout-Out: "WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER?! GET OVER HERE!! IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!"
- The Quiet One: Crabbe.
- Those Two Guys: As in the source material, they basically exist for the sole purpose of forming a Terrible Trio with Draco. Once Draco takes a more active role in the plot, they basically stop appearing altogether, barring cameos at the end.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Goyle vanishes at some point during the climactic battle in Senior Year. Most likely, Jim Povolo had to duck out to become Rumbleroar, who didn't make the final cut.
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Sango Tajima
"Bitch, I ain't Cho Chang!"
- Emotionally Tongue-Tied: When hitting on Ron, she speaks too quietly and rapidly to be comprehensible.
- Girl Posse: A member of Cho's.
- Girlish Pigtails: In the second and third shows.
- Inelegant Blubbering: Her entire schtick in Sequel.
- Living Prop: She gets mistaken for Cho in Musical, bursts into tears at the slightest provocation throughout Sequel, and flirts with Ron at the deathday party in Senior Year, but spends every other moment of the trilogy as a background character.
- Race Lift: She's Asian, just so she can say the above line.
- Running Gag: She's a walking one in Sequel: anytime something even remotely scary happens, she starts bawling.
- Satellite Character: To Cho, as established when she states she'll spend Nick's deathday party sitting in the corner waiting for her.
- Valley Girl: Has a mild version of this accent, with occasional use of Like Is, Like, a Comma.
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Lily Marks
- Adaptational Heroism: From the Alpha Bitch of a Slytherin Girl Posse in canon to a member of Cho's more benevolent one in this story.
- Girl Posse: A member of Cho's.
- Living Prop: She's a constant presence throughout the trilogy, but being Draco's date to the Yule Ball is the closest she comes to actually doing anything.
Dean and Seamus
Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnegan
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Britney Coleman (Dean), Brian Rosenthal (Seamus)
"BLOODY 'ELL! IT'S 'ARRY PO'ER!"Two expressive and show-stealing Gryffindor boys in Harry's year who are always seen together. The Beaters on the Gryffindor pee-wee Quidditch team.
- Adaptational Nationality: Seamus apparently goes from Irish to English.
- Bi the Way: Seamus, like Cho and Lavender, "fooled around" with Viktor Krum in fourth year. Subverted when it turns out he didn't mean that kind of fooling around.
- Cross-Cast Role: Dean.
- Jive Turkey: Dean.
- Nice Hat: They both wear caps to go with the respective stereotypes they represent.
- Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Brian Rosenthal is one of the few actors to bother with an English accent... naturally, he does so to play the very Irish Seamus Finnegan.
- Those Two Guys: Never seen apart, not even on a date with Ginny.
- A Threesome Is Hot: In Senior Year, they go on a three-way date with Ginny and are eager to see where it goes.
- Threesome Subtext: …well, either that or Dean is dating Ginny and Seamus is just enthusiastically tagging along. It's never really made clear.
- Uncle Tomfoolery: Dean, though it's limited to his "street" style of speech.
- Unexplained Accent: Seamus talks like a Cockney chimney sweep, for no reason.
Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, and George Weasley
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Jim Povolo (Bill), Devin Lytle (Charlie), Julia Albain (Percy, Sequel), Brant Cox (Percy, Senior Year), Arielle Goldman (Fred), Sango Tajima (George)
- Age Lift: All of them appear to still be at Hogwarts during Ron's first year, when canonically Bill and Charlie had graduated at that point.
- Basement-Dweller: In Senior Year, they've all graduated from Hogwarts but still live at the Burrow, as Molly is a Jewish Mother who won't let them go.
- Bedsheet Ghost: How Fred and George can still do their Twin Switch gag when Fred is a ghost.
- Brought to You by the Letter "S": They wear their iconic Weasley jumpers with their initials on them. In Senior Year, we see that their pajamas are similarly monogrammed.
- The Cameo: They make a very small appearance at the beginning of the second musical. They each get more fleshed-out in the third, but still only appear in one scene.
- Cross-Cast Role: All but Bill and, in Senior Year, Percy.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Fred is killed offscreen in Musical. Senior Year reveals he came back as a ghost.
- Funny Afro: Percy.
- Girlfriend in Canada: Percy says his girlfriend couldn't be there because the wi-fi is down.
- Hollywood Nerd: Percy.
- Sickeningly Sweethearts: Bill with Fleur.
- Teens Are Short: Of the "height equals age" variant; their heights correspond perfectly to the sibling order, giving us a huge Bill and a teeny-tiny Fred and George, though that pattern is broken as Ron and Ginny are taller than several of them.
- Twin Switch: With their limited screentime, this is the only prank that Fred and George have time to pull.
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Arielle Goldman
- Girl Posse: Is seen fretting over Cho alongside Lavender and Pansy, giving the posse one member from each house.
- Living Prop: If not for the scene where her petrified body is found and identified by name, she'd just be another nameless background character.
- Taken for Granite: She's the 341st student petrified by the basilisk, putting Hogwarts over its quota of acceptable student casualties.
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Arielle Goldman (Sequel), Evanna Lynch (Senior Year), Britney Coleman (Senior Year album)
"Wow, we're here! The Department of Mysteries. Isn't it wonderful? All the world's most mysterious magical anomalies in one booby-trapped labyrinth. I wanna see the Room of Death!"At the end of Sequel, Draco has given up on ever finding love at Hogwarts. A voice from behind a Quibbler suggests that perhaps next year he'll be transferred to Pigfarts...
- Adaptation Dye-Job: See Original Cast Precedent.
- Ax-Crazy: Pretty much the only way you can parody Luna Lovegood, besides having her wear a diaper.
- Birds of a Feather: Like Draco, she wears a diaper and knows about Pigfarts.
- Camera Fiend: Constantly snapping pictures in the Department of Mysteries.
- Cloudcuckoolander: As always.
- Nightmare Fetishist: Is fascinated by the Department of Mysteries and by the notion of being captured and killed by Death Eaters.
- Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Averted; Arielle bothers, and Evanna really is Irish.
- Original Cast Precedent: Has Evanna Lynch's smooth platinum-blonde hair instead of the frizzy dirty-blonde hair described in the books. And then in Senior Year she's actually played by Evanna Lynch.
- Promoted to Love Interest: For Draco. A deleted verse of the song "This is the End", found on the Senior Year soundtrack album, also has her as this for Neville, a fan-favorite move that the films also made.
- Second Love: To Draco, though in Senior Year they don't even acknowledge each other and he's back to pursuing Hermione, so it may have ended badly.
- Shoot the Money: The first thing we see when the lights come up in Senior Year is that Luna is now played by her original actress from the film series. Subverted after the Action Prologue is over; at Hogwarts, Luna doesn't get any more facetime than any of the other students.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Brant Cox
"Mind a few pics for the school paper?"
- And There Was Much Rejoicing: Okay, they're rejoicing because everyone except Colin lived, but still.
- Age Lift: Six years younger than Harry instead of the canonical one year.
- Camera Fiend: As always.
- Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Averted; Brant makes the attempt at being British.
- Taken for Granite: The first victim of the basilisk, similar to his canon role. He's the only person who doesn't survive being cured.
- Teens Are Short: Averted; he's much younger than the main cast but played by one of the tallest Starkid performers. Well, it's not like any of them were short when they were eleven.
- Unusual Euphemism: When he sees Harry, he exclaims, "Zowzers bowzers!" That's not a Mondegreen, that's actually in the script.
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Dylan Saunders
"Are you kids ready to fight a draaaaaaaaaagon? Of course not, you're just children, what the hell am I thinking?"The Headmaster of Hogwarts, much more of a Trickster Mentor than in the original series with a love for Zac Efron and High School Musical.
- Camp Gay: Zigzagged. His attempts to hit on Snape and Umbridge and love of High School Musical are for laughs, but played very low-key. Basically, his sexual preference is obvious, but not in such a way that it's the defining trait of his character.Harry: What did you get sorted as when you came to Hogwarts?
Dumbledore: Gay as the Fourth of July. Oh, you mean from the hat...
- Even the Guys Want Him: Harry describes him as the "most beautiful wizard ever", and Ron nods in agreement.
- Faking the Dead: It's never explained why or how, but he survived Snape's killing curse and, after a reenactment of the King's Cross scene, goes to live on Pigfarts.
- Famous Last Words: "Severus, please don't kill me!" Subverted, as he was just hiding.
- He's Just Hiding!: The original Dumbledore being the Trope Namer, it's alluded to In-Universe. He actually is just hiding, first on Mars, then in plain sight as the Man with the Beard.
- Hippie Teacher: He wears sandals and insists that nobody studies or does homework at Hogwarts.
- Horrible Judge of Character: Dumbledore sees nothing wrong with hiring a man (Quirrell) with the Dark Lord on the back of his head and absolutely trusts Snape, an obvious double-agent who frequently tries to assassinate him.Dumbledore: I need to interview for the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. I've got it down to Gilderoy Lockhart, Mad-eye Moody and er, somebody called Squirrel. I don't want anybody dangerous though so I think I'm gonna go with the Squirrel.
- Informed Attractiveness: He's the most beautiful wizard there ever was.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Maybe. He does have a soft spot for Harry, but he's still a jerk.
- Last-Name Basis: Encourages the students to call him Dumbledore, though most of them call him Professor Dumbledore anyway.
- Large Ham: He first appears singing an Incredibly Long Note and keeps going from there.
- Malaproper: Mispronounces most of the names and terms he uses.
- Meaningful Echo: As he departs, the Man with the Beard tells Harry something that Dumbledore told Tom Riddle long ago: "There's only two things in this world that I love, and one of them is you."
- Obfuscating Stupidity: The Man with the Beard pretends that the Spider-Man Trilogy is so old that no one can remember it. It's all part of driving home the lesson to Harry that nothing lasts forever.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: He's destroyed five of Voldemort's Horcruxes before even telling Harry about them.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: His alter-ego, "the Man with the Beard". All he needs to do is put a bushy brown fake beard over his real beard and he's unrecognizable to everyone. The disguise is even less convincing in Senior Year, but Harry and Ron never catch on to his identity.The Man with the Beard: But what do I know, huh? I'm just your everyday, working class, blue-collar... gay guy with a beard.
- Parental Substitute: Harry's verse of "Missing You" is about how he saw Dumbledore as this.
- Posthumous Character: He appears in flashbacks in Senior Year. Subverted, as we the audience know that he didn't actually die in Musical. He appears alive in Senior Year in his "Man with the Beard" disguise.
- Robe and Wizard Hat: The robe is purple and velvety, and the hat is actually that of a Renaissance princess with most of the train cut off.
- The Scream: When he finds out Umbridge is a woman, and again when she says "I love you."
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Dumbledore swears far more in the Sequel than he does in the original.
- Stealth Mentor: As the Man with the Beard in Senior Year.
- Wizard Beard: Shorter than in canon and, IRL, quite clearly fake.
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Joe Moses
- Ambiguously Bi: Is still deeply in love with Lily Evans but it's also heavily implied that he and Dumbledore are in a relationship in Musical, but never made clear.
- Berserk Button: Being called a butt-trumpet. Also:Sirius: You just can't stand that she picked James over you!
- Breakout Character: Briefly had his own spin-off series, The Potion Master's Corner.
- Butt-Monkey: In Sequel, Snape is often used as the butt of mean jokes, as he seems to get shot down at every opportunity, in addition to being repeatedly called a "butt trumpet".Umbridge: Guess who gets to be Headmaster/Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher now?
Umbridge: No! Me! Your mama! UMBRIDGE!
- Cartoonish Supervillainy: Attempting to feed Dumbledore a bomb sandwich, slathering ketchup on the back of Harry's neck before the dragon battle, strutting around with a hook for a hand... he lives for this trope.
- Catch-Phrase: "What the devil is going on heeeeeere?" He's also fond of calling things "absuuuuurd".
- Changed My Mind, Kid: After allying with Umbridge and Lucius, he has a change of heart and rescues Harry from them.
- Chewing the Scenery: He's probably the reason there is no scenery in the musical; he'd already eaten it all.
- Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: This seems to be his only motivation in the original musical, betraying both Dumbledore and the Death Eaters strictly For the Evulz.Snape: Oh, a traitor, am I, Potter? You're exactly right! I am a traitor! Because I'm about to betray someone, right now!
- Cloudcuckoolander: He's made out to be one in The Potion Master's Corner, in which Joe Moses interviews the cast in character. Or at least, in-character as a freaking crazy, random person who's dressed like and talks like Snape.
- Has some elements of this in the plays, as well, though he tends to be a little more grounded in reality there. A little bit.
- Composite Character: To a lesser extent than Quirrell, he takes on some of the tasks of Peter Pettigrew and Barty Crouch Jr. in the Goblet of Fire part of the story.
- Dogged Nice Guy: Sums it up pretty well:Snape: I was there for her, you know? Like, when she needed someone, I was there, waiting, like a tool, saying "Oh, we're gonna snog now? No? Okay, now? What about now? Well, I'll wait! I'll wait forever, like a tool!"
- Drowning My Sorrows: In Sequel, when torn between his loyalty to Dumbledore and his hatred for Harry.
- Evil Brit: Being one of the few characters who bother with the accent.
- Famous Last Words: "I'll show you what you need to do. Watch… very… carefully…"
- Good Is Not NiceSnape: Did I do that so people would like me? No, I hate people. Did I do it to be remembered? No. I did it because it was right.
- Groin Attack: He dies by a snake bite to the wiener.
- Guyliner: Part of his all-black ensemble.
- Hook Hand: After cutting off his hand to resurrect Voldemort, Snape replaces it with an obvious hook hand that no one seems to notice. This is one of many hints to Snape's evil that people just happen to ignore.
- Incoming Ham: "What the Devil is going on heeeere?"
- The Kids Are American: His one line in a flashback to his youth is spoken in Joe's natural voice.
- Large Ham: Of all the hams in this show, he is by far the hammiest, entering almost every scene by shouting "What the devil is going on here?" while holding out the "here." More than likely a shout-out to Alan Rickman's deliciously hammy performance in the movies.
- Motive Decay: A far cry from the complex character from the books, he seems to be a guy who just likes to betray people. Fortunately, he gets a Character Rerailment in Sequel.
- Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Joe Moses (Snape) drops his over-the-top British accent during "Guys Like Potter" when he says "I don't need help from a filthy little Mudblood like her!" during the flashback about Lily and James in their school days. Although it might have been on purpose, i.e., he only became the bizarre and eccentric model we now see because he lost her.
- Open Secret: His love for Lily Evans, originally his darkest secret and known only by Dumbledore, appears to be common knowledge, as both Sirius and Lucius bring it up.
- Rousing Speech: Of all the spirits summoned by the Resurrection Stone, he's the one to break Harry out of his Heroic B.S.O.D. in Senior Year.Harry: Snape… if I go back and face him, if I do that… it'll be… my end?
Snape: Yes, Harry. Yes, it will. But you have to ask yourself, would you rather it end any other way?
- Troll: Enjoys taunting Lupin about the full moon.
- Unlucky Childhood Friend: Same as in canon.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: With Ron, of all people. See Ron's entry for details.
- Wouldn't Hurt a Child: He seems genuinely disturbed by the idea of killing a student in Sequel, and he earlier prevents Umbridge from beating Hermione by replacing "Mama's Little Love Hand" with a feather.
- Appears in: Musical, Senior YearPlayed by: Brian Rosenthal
"Hey, we'll still hang out. Just because we won't be attached doesn't mean we'll be two completely different people. No pun intended."The new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor at Hogwarts with a dark secret: Voldemort is living on the back of his head. Following orders he reinstates the House Cup tournament in a ploy to capture Harry and restore his master—and bonds with a certain dark wizard along the way.
- Adorkable: He enjoys sipping tea by the fire and isn't very good at concealing the fact that he's got Voldemort under his turban.
- Affably Evil: When behind closed doors with Voldemort, he comes across as a genuinely nice guy.
- Ambiguously Gay: Quirrell doesn't seem to be too interested in picking up chicks. Not to mention that he admits he has been "single all his life" and has a fondness for flowers and books by Jane Austen. He and Voldemort have adopted a daughter in the third musical, but the exact nature of their relationship is still ambiguous.
- As You Know: Lampshaded, repeatedly.
- Ascended Meme: Almost certainly a coincidence, but see the image caption? Pottermore later revealed that one of the canon Quirrell's hobbies is pressing wild flowers.
- Coconut Superpowers: Him hosting Voldemort on the back of his head is accomplished by squeezing Joe Walker into the costume with Brian Rosenthal.
- Composite Character: Also fulfills the purpose of Barty Crouch Jr. and a little bit of Peter Pettigrew.
- Institutional Apparel: In Azkaban, wears a striped shirt, no pants, and a ball and chain around his ankle.
- Poke the Poodle:Quirrell: But, the papers—
Voldemort: Oh, just give 'em all B-minuses and be done with it.
Quirrell: Now that's evil!
- Spared by the Adaptation: Musical!Quirrell is a Composite Character of Quirrell and Barty Crouch Jr. Canon!Quirrell died and Crouch Jr. had his soul sucked by a dementor, but musical!Quirrell avoids both those fates and is just sent to Azkaban.
- Was It All a Lie?: Once Voldemort returns to power, Quirrell wonders whether Voldemort ever really cared about him or just manipulated him to
- Appears in: SequelPlayed by: Joe Walker
"Rule number one: no boys… unless they're cute! Rule number two: no alcohol… unless there's plenty to go around! Stop it girls, I'm bad! And rule number three: no parties… unless Umbridge is invited! Hur hur hur! Girls, girls, girls… you keep me young, girls, you keep me young! Hur hur hur… dur dur dur dur dur… but seriously, girls, if I do catch you with any boys or alcohol, I'm gonna rip your perky little boobs off."A Ministry of Magic official sent to oversee security at Hogwarts. Develops an intense crush on Dumbledore.
- Annoying Laugh: Every time she laughs. Get her going long enough and it devolves into a weird "DUR DUR DUR" sound.
- Ax-Crazy: Umbridge veers between giggling with a bunch of school girls to trying to crush one of said schoolgirl's head with her biceps. If that didn't tell you she was crazy, a hallucination of her dead mother advises her to kill an eleven-year-old with, appropriately enough, an axe.Umbridge: You mean like with this axe that I been sharpenin' all day? I don't remember doin' that... but I must have!
- Bifauxnen: She's played by the same highly attractive actor who played Voldemort in the first musical. And despite wearing a very silly costume, he makes drag look good enough to give Tim Curry a run for his money. In-Universe, Dumbledore is under the impression that she's a sexy man.
- Big Bad Duumvirate: With Lucius in Sequel, though Lucius makes it clear that he sees her as a "supporting villain".
- Brawn Hilda: Best exhibited when she gets into hand-to-hand combat with a centaur. It helps that Joe Walker is ripped.
- Clingy Jealous Girl: Despite the fact that their first date went horribly, she believes that Dumbledore loves her and she becomes very attached to him.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Though Lupin is the trilogy's designated Sir Swears-a-Lot, Umbridge drops a lot of F-bombs.
- Combat Sadomasochist: Relishes her vigorous workouts and her diet of protein shakes, falcon eggs, and rocks. At one particularly spooky moment, she deliberately breaks her own finger during a staredown with Harry, just to show she means business.
- Cross-Cast Role: Unlike most Starkid examples, where the characters played by actors of the opposite sex simply exist, the fact that she looks like a large muscular man is part of her characterization.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: She treats her students the way a drill sergeant treats his trainees.
- Establishing Character Moment: Her Faux Affably Evil private chat with the girls of Hogwarts, the general tone of which can be found in her quote above.
- Evil Counterpart: Seen when she takes over Dumbledore's office; she replaces his Zac Efron poster and High School Musical t-shirt with a Taylor Lautner poster and "Team Jacob" t-shirt.
- Evil Laugh: Umbridge can't maintain her sinister laugh for very long without slipping into her Annoying Laugh.
- Evil Overlord: Apparently became something like this in Harry's fifth year, based on dialogue in Senior Year.
- Gonky Femme: Dolores Umbridge is a large, muscular woman (played by a man), who dresses in pink frilly dresses and has a girly giggle.
- Huge Schoolgirl: When she was younger. She still dresses like one.
- I Call It "Vera": Umbridge has a paddle with a bunch of nails sticking out of it. She calls it "Momma's Little Love Hand."
- Incoming Ham: She's heralded by Jurassic Park-esque footsteps. She also tends to announce her imminent arrival via text message, only to make a big entrance seconds later demanding, "Did you get my text?"
- Kick the Dog: She muses that after Sirius is dead, he'll be with Harry's parents.
- Magic Skirt: Despite all the dancing & spinning, we never get a look at what Joe Walker is wearing underneath that dress.
- Mommy Issues: There's a whole scene where she starts to hallucinate with her mother. After that scene, the very little sanity she had left went to the dogs.
- One Bad Mother: She calls herself the "momma" of Hogwarts's "childrens", yet she's completely and absolutely insane.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Umbridge's intense personality is emphasized by her willingness to throw out insults like "chubby little fuck!" at the slightest of slights.
- Slasher Smile: And for that one brief moment, she's not remotely funny.
- Straw Feminist: All of her... oddities... are apparently born from the desire to make it in a man's world.
- Summon Backup Dancers: Summons a bunch of dancing Dementors during her Villain Song. It's more rock-and-roll than it sounds.
- Team Mom: She at least sees herself as this to the chilluns of Hogwarts.
- Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth: Seamus relates a rumor that a Dementor kissed her, and it died.
- Woman Scorned: Both in her backstory and when Dumbledore "dumps" her. But she's more or less in denial of that...
- Yandere: Willing to kill Snape when she thinks that he's interfering with her relationship with Dumbledore.
- You Need to Get Laid: Apparently all she actually needed to be nicer is a boyfriend. When Dumbledore starts to court her she kinda started to act normal and after being raped by Firenze as his mate, Umbridge completely forgets about Dumbledore and falls for the centaur.
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Brian Holden
"What's the matter with you guys? Oh, shit, you guys are kids, I gotta watch my damn mouth around you little bastards. I... I am sorry. Shoot! I gotta watch my damn mouth around you little bastards."The new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and Gryffindor Quidditch coach, and a homeless drunk. Also a werewolf who insists he was James Potter's best friend.
- The Alcoholic: Carries a flask with him everywhere he goes and is often surprised and disappointed to find he's already drank it all.
- Call a Pegasus a "Hippogriff": Various characters misidentify his werewolf form as a zombie, a vampire, a gremlin, and a robot.
- Cluster F-Bomb: Swears up a storm, but attempts to watch his mouth now that he's a teacher.
- Composite Character: Though Fred and George do appear in Sequel, it's Lupin who gives Harry the Marauder's Map, immediately revealing who created it.
- Crazy Homeless People: The kids initially mistake Lupin for a hobo from his mangy, intimidating appearance. Lupin loudly protests that he is not homeless (anymore).
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: His Establishing Character Moment outlines both sides.
- Dirty Old Man: Towards Cho Chang (but then again, so is every other heterosexual male in the show).
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Killed offstage before he ever appears onstage. Fortunately Sequel is actually a prequel.
- Establishing Character Moment: He wakes up just in time to stop a Death Eater from killing Harry; his Disarming Charm fails utterly and he resorts to stabbing the Death Eater, yelling "Take that, you bastard ass!" He then starts whining about his empty beer bottle and the mysterious stain on his pants.
- Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Lupin has to repeatedly Bowdlerize his swearing around the children.
- Hypocritical Humor: The students are appalled by his cursing, despite nearly all of them being fairly foulmouthed themselves. Taken Up to Eleven in A Very Starkid Reunion, in which Harry and Ron's every sentence is peppered with s-words and f-words, but their reactions to Lupin's cursing remains the same.
- Insistent Terminology: Lupin is James Potter's best friend, and anyone who says otherwise is mistaken. Even James Potter.
- Jacob Marley Apparel: His spirit maintains his "underwear and covered in blood" look.
- Original Cast Precedent: Has a mustache much like David Thewlis did in the role.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Played with in a very weird way. He doesn't swear that much more than anyone else in the show, but every time he does, all the students in the vicinity gasp and cover their ears, which is almost the only reason it's noticeable. Even if he's just repeating something that someone else JUST said.
- Tempting FateLupin: Hey, don't you worry, Harry. I'm sure we're gonna be seeing plenty of each other next year. Isn't that right, Draco?
Future!Draco: Oop, rather not say.
- The Tramp: When last he's seen alive, he and Sirius are homeless and free-wheeling around the world together.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: On the days after full-moon nights, Lupin spends long stretches of time covered in blood and in nothing but tightie-whities.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Tyler Brunsman
"Beware, children. Unless the Chamber is found and the monster inside destroyed, the Ministry may close the school... forever. Wizard-God help us all."Headmaster of Hogwarts in Harry's final year.
- The Comically Serious: Her unamused reaction to the student body's prank to elect Fozzie Bear as the Head Boy, among other moments.
- Cross-Cast Role: With some major Larynx Dissonance.
- Incoming Ham: "Oh, in the name of stuffy old ninnies everywhere, what is going—POTTER!"
- Reasonable Authority Figure: A self-proclaimed "very reasonable uptight bitch".
- Unexplained Recovery: Harry claims in Musical that "all of the professors are dead", but McGonagall appears alive and well in Senior Year. She's not mentioned at all in the first two musicals, so it's possible she actually didn't work at Hogwarts in this universe until after Voldemort's demise.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: A.J. Holmes
"Who taught a yeti how to sing?A popular wizard author, responsible for such masterpieces as Twilight and The Hunger Games. Actually, he stole them from Muggle authors and rewrote them for wizards. He plans to do the opposite with Harry Potter's life story.
Walked into Mordor and destroyed the ring?
Battled a banshee and came out a champ?
Trapped Jafar inside of a lamp?"
Walked into Mordor and destroyed the ring?
Battled a banshee and came out a champ?
Trapped Jafar inside of a lamp?"
- Bestiality Is Depraved: It's heavily implied that Gilderoy is into mice.
- The Chessmaster: Manipulates events at Hogwarts to ruin Harry's reputation.
- Chick Magnet: The girls of Hogwarts (and Neville) are all over him.
- Cloudcuckoolander: He fantasizes about shrinking to the size of a mouse and becoming their ruler.
- The Dandy: Like his canon counterpart, he's impeccably well-groomed and foppish in his mannerisms.
- Fake Ultimate Hero: This version of him is mostly in the business of stealing the credit for writing young adult novels, but his song indicates that he shares his canon self's reputation for genuine heroics.Gilderoy: I have been looking for someone to write my autobiography—I mean, my biography.
- Not Distracted by the Sexy: Entirely ignores Hermione's attempts to seduce him, as he's preoccupied telling her about his Pragmatic Adaptation of the life of Harry Potter.
- Pragmatic Adaptation: In-universe; he reorders the events of the story of Harry Potter's time at Hogwarts (including the four years we don't see), into a more dramatically-appropriate and rather familiar order.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Not to the extent of Lupin, but he drops the F-word more than any other character in the trilogy except perhaps Umbridge.
- Stable Time Loop: One that breaks right through the fourth wall, no less: it's implied that he goes back in time and publishes the Harry Potter series as we know it.
- Sue Donym: Claims that one of the votes cast to result in a tie between Harry and Draco was from his brother, "Literoy Gockhart".
- Take That!: Goes off on a huge tirade about all the Harry Potter merchandise he's going to put on the market, a massive Take That! against real-life Merch and the people who buy it.Gilderoy: I'm going to make these books huge. Then the real fun begins. Do you have any idea how much money I'm going to make off merchandise alone? The Severus Snape beach towel! The Hermione Granger toothbrush! How about a real wand, you little Muggle bastards? Well, guess what, kiddies, they're just resin, and boy howdy do they break like fucking twigs! T-shirts! Bedsheets! Video games! Action figures! And in time... a theme park! A theme park in sunny Orlando, Florida, 85 bucks a head! How about a real butterbeer? It's just cream soda, you fucking idiots! I'm going to squeeze the Harry Potter franchise for every... last... red... cent! And when I'm through, once I have all that money... I'm going to shrink myself to the size of a fucking mouse!
- Villain: Exit, Stage Left!: When the Wizard Cops show up, he shrinks himself and makes his escape. It's implied he then escapes into the past with a Time-Turner.
- Villain with Good Publicity: Even more villainous than the book version.
- Xanatos Speed Chess: Jumps upon every opportunity to both get people to stop liking Harry and to make Harry's life interesting enough to write about.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Brian Holden
"This may come as a surprise to yeh, but I'm not a very happy person! I didn't want Harry to end up like me. Because... when yeh get old and fat like Hagrid, yeh realize that it's not school yeh miss. It's bein' young. And skinny, and physically able ta have sex. And that's what I wanted for Harry. The end of school is just the beginnin' of yer tiny lives."
- Adaptational Badass: Oh, they do play up the pathetic aspects of the character, but he's very, very efficient at rushing in to save the day.
- Badass Beard: It's quite impressive. And doesn't match his hair at all and has a tendency to fall off.
- Big Damn Heroes: Constantly.
- Fastball Special: Name-dropped. He does it with a car.
- The Ghost: Mentioned often but conspicuously always offstage in the first two shows. The fact that he actually appears onstage in Senior Year was a huge surprise that brought the house down.
- Hollywood Mid-Life Crisis: He's having a rather realistic one; he's depressed about the dead-end nature of his job and life as the students he befriends continuously graduate and drift away. He overcomes it by becoming an informant for the Wizard Cops.
- Incoming Ham: Every time he has a Big Damn Heroes moment, which is often.
- Intergenerational Friendship: Harry's companionship is implied to be the only thing that keeps Hagrid going.
- Large Ham: Well, it's hard to be a Fake Scot without going in this direction.
- The Pig Pen: He's... not very hygienic.
- Scotireland: Has a very broad and generic Scottish accent rather than the character's signature West Country burr.
- Screw the Rules, I'm Doing What's Right!: He goes against Kingsley's orders and sneaks Ron out of the castle to find Harry.
- Super Strength: Even more pronounced since, for obvious reasons, he's not twice as tall as a normal man in this version.
- You Are Better Than You Think You Are: Gives Harry such a speech, though it quickly devolves into a speech about Hagrid's own depression.
Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Chris Allen
"'Allo, 'allo!"The Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher in Harry's unseen sixth year. Actually Barty Crouch Jr. in disguise.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: A throwaway line in Musical reveals that he was killed off in the Battle of Hogwarts. The line was apparently throwaway enough in-universe that Barty managed to impersonate him for a whole year.
- Guttural Growler: Has a growly voice.
- Not Even Bothering with the Accent: One of the trilogy's rare non-evil aversions, though as he sounds exactly like Barty, it's possibly just Barty's Evil Brit showing through.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Elona Finlay
"Do you think it's true what the children are saying? That this is the work of the monster of the Chamber of Secrets?"
- Adaptational Attractiveness: She's quite young and attractive, a far cry from the books' and films' Apron Matron look.
- Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Averted.
- Older Than They Look: She worked at Hogwarts when Voldemort was a student. This wasn't 50 years before the present timeline as it was in canon, but nevertheless, she's aged well.
Lord Voldemort / Tom Riddle
- Appears in: Musical, Sequel (cameo), Senior YearPlayed by: Joe Walker
"Well, I believe that everything has its place. Muggles have their place. Mudbloods have their place. And so. Do. Your. Clothes! Namely, a dresser!"The villainous, evil, Dark Lord who was beaten by two-year-old Harry. Now bodiless and weak, Professor Quirrell attaches him to the back of his head as he plots to regain his body and defeat Harry once and for all. But to his surprise he finds himself bonding with Quirrell, his first real friend. Eventually his evil plot to regain his body works, but at the cost of his new found friendship, while Harry escapes to warn the world he's back. Now on a mission to destroy Harry and take over the wizarding world, Voldemort might just succeed... if only these sad feelings would just leave him alone!
- Accidental Misnaming: Calls both generations of Malfoys "Malloy".Tom: See you later, at the club meeting.
Lucius: Sure thing, Tom.
Tom: Malloy! How many times do I have to tell you to call me—
Lucius: My Dark King. Right, right.
Tom: Thank you. That wasn't so hard, was it? I mean, I remember your name.
- Adaptational Attractiveness
- Oh, they try to avoid this. But all the makeup used to make Joe Walker pale, gaunt, and noseless, if anything, just made him even sexier, since it goes so well with the "fabulous cape and no shirt" look.
- Inverted in Senior Year, when we find out that Tom Riddle has always been pale, gaunt, and noseless, rather than the handsome young man he was in canon before evil made him ugly. The makeup without the Voldemort get-up is successfully unsettling.
- Affably Evil: A lot less serious than his canon counterpart, Voldemort here has a fun loving side along with his classic villain persona.
- Age Lift: Senior Year implies he's much younger here than in canon. He went to school with Lucius and Bellatrix, and the scene where 15-year-old Tom meets his family seems to take place no earlier than the late 80s.
- Ambiguously Gay: According to Joe Walker, his relationship with Quirrell, despite the fact that it goes as far as them adopting a daughter together in Senior Year, is intended to be ambiguous rather than explicitly romantic. Notably, Scarfy finds his sexuality hard to pin down.
- Berserk Button: He hates Snickers bars. Getting one from his grandparents for Christmas set him off, resulting in him killing them and his father.
- Big Bad: Of the first and third musicals.
- Bishie Sparkle: Young Tom loved to shoot sparkles out of his fingers.
- Bi the Way: Voldemort's relationship with Quirrell is a humorous example of Homoerotic Subtext, but parts of Senior Year casually confirm the relationship is a romantic one, making Voldemort a bisexual. With StarKid you can never tell. Quirrell/Voldemort is under the banner of bromance, but they purposely played it both ways. We never do see Voldemort lusting after another guy, though, while he definitely mentions other women besides Bellatrix. Could be a case of If It's You, It's Okay.
- The Cameo: Makes a brief appearance in Sequel when the Zefron poster is returned to its rightful place on Dumbledore's wall.
- Depraved Bisexual: If it wasn't for what appears to be a pretty enthusiastic sex life with Bellatrix, he'd be a flat out Transparent Closet.Bellatrix: No! you're thinking of that peon that we sent to Azkaban!
Voldemort: He's not a peon! [aside] He's more of a man than you'll ever be...
- Good Costume Switch: To represent his turn from hatred to love, the normally black-clad Voldemort wears a white cloak in the last scene.
- Famous Last Words: "Let's put that theory to the test. Avada Kedavra!"
- He-Man Woman Hater: Well, the proto-Death Eaters were called "The He-Man Woman Haters", but clearly he only meant it as a Shout-Out to the trope namer, as there's no indication that he has anything against women (for one thing, Bellatrix was a member of the gang).
- Ignored Epiphany: The portion of Voldemort that still resides in his body refuses to feel remorse, even demanding that the musicians stop playing emotional music.
- Insistent Terminology: He insists that Tom Riddle's diary is a journal, though even he has trouble remembering that.
- Invisible to Normals: The piece of his soul in Senior Year can only be seen by those who have touched his journal—"Just the same rules as Death Note", as he puts it. Joe actually ad-libbed this rule (the script called for him to hide but there was nothing onstage for him to hide behind), and Darren later ad-libbed a Call-Back to the line, making the rule consistent throughout the show.
- Large Ham: Evil Is Hammy, after all.
- Love Redeems: After he dies, one last piece of his soul remains, and this piece is willing to let everything go and just be with Quirrell.
- Milking the Giant Cow: He's just a head, so Quirrell does it for him.
- Mr. Fanservice: Voldemort after he gets his body back goes completely shirtless and shows off his muscular body. Even before you get a look at those abs there were plenty of comments saying "Voldemort is… hot?"
- Neat Freak: Even though Quirrell is the sissy in their Odd Couple relationship, it's the Dark Lord who freaks out over dirty laundry on a chair."Well, I believe everything has its place. Muggles have their place… Mudbloods have their place… and so. Do. Your. Clothes! Namely, A DRESSER!"
- Pensieve Flashback: Takes Ginny into several via his diary... ahem, journal. He refers to them as "Magic flashbacks."
- Pun: "You know, Quirrell, over the past year I've really grown attached to you, no pun intended."
- Red Herring: His reason for enacting the Chamber of Secrets plot is to divert people from his real plot—attaining the Resurrection Stone, which can be used to bring his body back if he sacrifices someone else.
- Sophisticated as Hell: Ends his speech to the people of Hogwarts, lifted from the books almost exactly, with "Voldemort out, bitches!"
- Soul Jar: Dumbledore has destroyed most of them by the time of Musical, the only ones remaining being Dumbledore's poster of Zac Efron and Harry himself. In Senior Year, it's revealed that Tom Riddle's diary still exists. And in the end, Voldemort lives because no one knew that Quirrell was a Horcrux too.
- Take Over the World: Unlike his canon counterpart, "ruling the world" is explicitly his objective.
- Tempting Fate: Regarding his family:Tom: I'll accept them whatever kind of wizards they are. Just so long as they are wizards.
- That Man Is Dead
- Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Well, Tom Riddle is still a Creepy Child, but it's tempered by his love of dancing.
- Villainous B.S.O.D.: Voldemort spends most of the second act in one over his betrayal of Quirrell, though he's surprisingly casual about it.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: So long as he has a body, Voldemort goes shirtless to show off his pale, but surprisingly muscular body.
- White Hair, Black Heart: Tom Riddle.
- Wrong Name Outburst: Apparently calls Bellatrix "Quirrell" numerous times.
- Appears in: Musical, Senior YearPlayed by: Britney Coleman
"If I'm going to be evil with all of you, I need to be evil with all of you!"Voldemort's girlfriend and right hand woman. She readily accepts Voldemort once he regains his body and attempts to revamp the relationship as they carry out various evil plans. Unfortunately Voldemort is slightly different after his time with Quirrell and Bellatrix's patience with him starts to slip.
- Dark Mistress: The psychopathic witch Bellatrix actually in a relationship with the Dark Lord in this universe.
- Dragon-in-Chief: She seems to wear the pants in the relationship. Voldemort is too afraid of her to publicly admit that he considers Quirrell a friend.
- Everyone Went to School Together: She and Lucius were Voldemort's original Death Eaters.
- Famous Last Words: "That is NOT fair!"
- Hammerspace Hair: Keeps her wand in her hair.
- Jerk Ass: More this than the Ax-Crazy psycho she is in canon.
- Race Lift: Britney Coleman is black. Combine that with the Starkids' fondness for the Cross-Cast Role, and we've got the only continuity where Bellatrix Lestrange and Dean Thomas can be played by the same actor.
- Romantic False Lead: Bellatrix may start out as Voldemort's mistress, but Voldemort's heart really rests wth Quirrell.
- Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Just take a look at what she said to Voldemort when they first met, back when she was a pigtail-sporting Genki Girl:Bellatrix: I'm Trixie! I like Hogwarts 'cause there's lots of nice friends to make and yummy food to eat!
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Tyler Brunsman
"I wanted to know if you were interested in a role in the evil scheme I've just choreographed."Draco's father who is quite the dancer. A Death Eater, he travels back in time to try to finish off Harry before he can take on Voldemort.
- Abusive Parents: When Draco acts like a good sport after losing a Quidditch match and says that he had fun, Lucius pulls out his wand on him (implying he was going to torture him or kill him), but then resorts to crumbling up Draco's drawing and disowning him.
- Adaptational Villainy: In the books, the Malfoy family's redeeming quality was their love for one another. This version of Lucius lacks that one quality.
- Big Bad Duumvirate: With Umbridge in Sequel.
- Bishōnen: He's remarkably pretty, and his British accent is remarkably pretty, and his legs are so long.
- Death by Adaptation: Though his death is never confirmed, it seems that he is mauled by Werewolf!Lupin. Given the state Peter Pettigrew's corpse is in, it's unlikely Lucius survived.
- Everyone Went to School Together: He and Bellatrix were Voldemort's original Death Eaters.
- Evil Brit: Like his son, but plays it perfectly straight.
- Famous Last Words: "It's a... it's a robot! No... NOOOOOO!"
- It Is Pronounced "Tro-PAY": Pronounces his son's name "Drah-co".
- Kick the Dog: Crumpling up a drawing Draco gave him.
- Large Ham: Dances around stage doing high kicks, and on at least one occasion has his minions dramatically carry him across the stage.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: He is not Draco's father. It's actually Dobby.
- Mr. Fanservice: An English-accented dancer in very, very tight pants.
- Original Cast Precedent: He has the long, flowing hair that Jason Isaacs wore in the role; this hairstyle was not described in the books and was in fact Isaacs' idea to make the character look as un-Muggle-like as possible.
- Talking Is a Free Action: Takes the time to roll the R in "Crucio", which gives Hermione a chance to speak an entire sentence before he finishes the curse.
- Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Seen as a schoolboy in Senior Year. Back then, he was a Cheerful Child who was only interested in friendly dance-offs.
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy: Draco shows off some moves he learned from the centaurs, making Lucius momentarily proud that he finally learned to dance.
- Whole Costume Reference: Seemingly to Jareth from Labyrinth. It should be noted that the tights, vest, and puffy shirt are a standard male classical ballet costume, which was a huge part of Lucius's character. Though referencing Labyrinth does seem like a very StarKid thing to do, and Word of God has confirmed that they were going for the Jareth reference.
- Would Hurt a Child: Threatens to torture one of Harry's friends... then when he finds out that said friend is Draco, he threatens to kill him instead.
- You Already Changed the Past: His time-traveling antics cause Harry's first year to go the way it went all along.
- Appears in: SequelPlayed by: Corey Dorris
"Death Eaters work hard, but when we break, we break!"
- The Ditz: Pretty spacey for a Death Eater.
- The Dragon: To Lucius, if only because he's the only Death Eater accompanying him who isn't a Faceless Goon.
- Dumb Is Good: A fairly stupid Death Eater who switches sides as soon as he's given the opportunity.
- Eyepatch of Power: Yaxley is Lucius's sidekick, and marked by his eyepatch, though far from being an intimidating figure for it he's the goofiest Death Eater in the trilogy. Oddly, the eyepatch is an accessory he shares with Corey Dorris' other character in the trilogy.
- Heel–Face Turn: Switches to Draco's side at the first opportunity. In a quiet throwaway line, Ron calls him their second-best adult friend.
- Mook–Face Turn: Gladly abandons Lucius to work for Draco.
- Punch-Clock Villain: At the very beginning he's pretty clearly sick of being a Death Eater, and he's quick to pull a Heel–Face Turn.
- Punched Across the Room: By Ron, into a stack of boxes.
- Race Lift: Yaxley is played by a black man when he was an old white guy in the books.
- Too Dumb to Live: Falls for the same trap twice in a row.
- Appears in: SequelPlayed by: Nick Lang
"The Dark Lord, he can be very persuasive. He offered me a robot hand... and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."
- Adaptational Villainy: He's a Card-Carrying Villain rather than a sniveling coward.
- Bald of Evil: Has Nick's receding hairline.
- Decomposite Character: Has no connection to Scabbers.
- Voluntary Shapeshifting: Instead of a rat, he changes into a poster of Taylor Lautner on the cover of Rolling Stone. In fact, the way Nick poses and walks seems to indicate that he never actually changes back from that form. And no, this plot development does not make sense in context.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Nicholas Joseph Strauss-Matathia
"Here it is! At last, finally, the ultimate artifact of evil is within my grasp!"
- Badass Longcoat: Trimmed with fur.
- Big Bad: Implied to have been this for Harry's unseen sixth year.
- I Am A Humanitarian: Intends to eat Neville and Luna in a "weirdo sandwich".
- Inadvertent Entrance Cue: He calls Neville a moron, which cues the obligatory "Did somebody say Ron?"
- Little Bit Beastly: His hands and feet are wolfish.
- The Remnant: He and his compatriots are the last Death Eaters, still fighting the war five years after Voldemort's death.
- Starter Villain: The first adversary faced by the DA in Senior Year.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Wears an open jacket with nothing underneath but a necklace.
Barty Crouch Jr.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Chris Allen
"If it's over for me, then it's over for you too. Y'see, all you are is someone who fights us. Once we're all gone, the world won't need a hero anymore. If the Dark Lord can't live forever, then neither can you."
- Combat Pragmatist: Once he's been found out, he immediately pulls a gun. Sadly for him, he grasps the Villain Ball shortly thereafter.
- Dead Person Impersonation: Impersonated Mad-Eye Moody for a whole year even though Moody died in the Battle of Hogwarts.
- Evil Brit: The guttural, thuggish variety.
- Guttural Growler: Doesn't sound any different out of his Moody disguise than he does in it.
- Hannibal Lecture: As he's being carted away, he warns Harry that without any more Death Eaters to fight, Harry has no more reason to live.
- The Remnant: He's the last Death Eater.
- Small Role, Big Impact: He's a Starter Villain who gets apprehended in the prologue, but his Hannibal Lecture winds up being the theme of the entire play.
- Starter Villain: Appears after Fenrir is apprehended, but is also defeated before the prologue is over.
- Villain Ball: Initially shows an impressive level of savvy by bringing a gun to a wandfight, but then for some reason decides to put the gun down and engage Harry in Good Old Fisticuffs.
- Voices Are Mental: Chris Allen uses the exact same voice for both Mad-Eye and Barty.
- Appears in: MusicalPlayed by: Tyler Brunsman
"I've heard these Voldemort rumors, and I for one simply don't believe it!"
- Composite Character: Has the original Fudge's refusal to believe that Voldemort is back, and like Rufus Scrimgeour, his death leads to Voldemort gaining control of the Ministry.
- Death by Adaptation: Fudge was alive when last he was mentioned in the books, though his final fate remains unknown; here he's killed onscreen.
- Famous Last Words: "Oh! A heart attack, surely..."
- Flat-Earth Atheist: Fudge tells Voldemort to his face that he doesn't believe he's back, and insists his death by Avada Kedavra is a heart attack.
- Implausible Deniability: He doesn't believe that Voldemort is back, despite the fact that the Dark Lord has been active on his Youtube channel. He remains in denial even when Voldemort is right in front of his face and killing him.
- Too Dumb to Live: Refuses to believe any evidence of Voldemort's return, up to and including his own eyes when the Dark Lord is right there in his office. Naturally, this gets him killed.
Molly and Arthur
Molly and Arthur Weasley
- Appears in: Musical (Molly only), Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Lily Marks (Molly), Nick Lang (Arthur)
"Anyway, I just came here to save your lives. Go back to what you were doing."
"What'th a Muggle?! Why, it'th a wizard who doethn't... I mean, it'th a wizard who can't... he doethn't know what a Moogle ith!"
- Adaptation Dye-Job: Remarkably, neither of them are redheads.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Arthur.
- The Ditz: Arthur is entirely wrong about how to work a Muggle camera, can't explain what a Muggle is, and calls for help from the Ministry before remembering he is Ministry.
- Jewish Mother: Molly is portrayed this way, with the characteristic nasally accent and refusal to let her children leave the house after they grow up.
- Mama Bear: Basically the only reason Molly is in the first musical is because her killing of Bellatrix is too awesome to exclude.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Arthur is played in the style of Ed Wynn.
- Speech Impediment: Arthur has a heavy, Wynn-esque lisp.
- This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: "DIE, BITCH!"
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Nicholas Joseph Strauss-Matathia
"It's your father's old invisibility cloak. Haha! We used to use it to play jokes on Snape! And we would solve mysteries and shit."A fugitive from Azkaban, wanted for the murder of Peter Pettigrew. Also betrayed the Potters to Voldemort. Or did he?
- Barefoot Poverty: Has no shoes.
- Chewing the Scenery: "Lupin! You know the man you truly are! His heart is where you live! His heart! Right here!" Definitely a Shout-Out to Gary Oldman's performance in Prisoner of Azkaban.
- Crazy Homeless People: With his scruffy appearance and hair-trigger temper, he comes across as quite the hobo. And later:Harry: Hey listen, I was wondering, maybe this summer instead of going back to the Dursleys', I was wondering if maybe I could stay with you?
Sirius: Harry, I am homeless. Can I live with you?
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Easily trounces Harry, Ron, and Hermione in a three-on-one duel. They are, after all, first-years who only know spells like Lumos and Alohomora. Sirius, meanwhile, is knowledgeable enough to know that the countercurse is Unjellify.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Killed offstage before he ever appears onstage. Fortunately Sequel is actually a prequel.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Doubtless a side effect of his years in prison, he's quick to mood-swing into "angry and vengeful" mode.
- He Cleans Up Nicely: Though his clothes are still ill-fitting and his feet still bare, his spirit is much more well-groomed than he was in life. He also develops a very elegant, soothing voice.
- Intergenerational Friendship: Harry calls him his "best adult friend" and they both wish to hug and kiss each other.
- Large Ham: Seems to have difficulty controlling THE VOLUME OF HIS VOICE!
- The Tramp: When last he's seen alive, he and Lupin are homeless and free-wheeling around the world together.
- Appears in: SequelPlayed by: Jaime Lyn Beatty
"Keep your nose clean, kid. Don't take any wooden Sickles, now."
- Intrepid Reporter: Slightly more honest than her canon counterpart. Slightly.
- Malicious Slander: Not to the extent of her canon self, but it's still there. When Lupin eats the rare and elusive shit-flavored Bertie Bott's bean, she takes the opportunity to write the headline "Remus Lupin Eats Shit". More dramatically, she quotes Sirius as saying he wants to "drug and kill" Harry when what he actually said was that he wanted to "hug and kiss" him.
- Mr. Exposition: Gives Harry the backstory on Sirius Black.
Lily and James
Lily and James Potter
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Arielle Goldman (Lily), Brian Rosenthal (James)
- Adaptation Dye-Job: Lily is a brunette.
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: Lily loved James because he was an asshole. In the afterlife, she's realized her mistake and is married to Nice Guy Cedric instead.
- Amicable Exes: They've separated since dying, but are still friendly enough that Harry's reaction to seeing them is to comment how beautiful it is that they're still together.
- Happily Married: Lily, to Cedric Diggory in the afterlife.
- Posthumous Character: As in canon, they only appear in the Mirror of Erised, a Pensieve flashback, and when called by the Resurrection Stone.
- Refuge in Audacity: See All Girls Want Bad Boys above? Yeah: Lily and James first hooked up at the end of an otherwise very faithful adaptation of the "Snape's Worst Memory" scene.
The Candy Lady
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Julia Albain (Sequel), Pat Brady (Senior Year)
"Candy from the trolley, dear?"The witch who pushes the candy trolley on the Hogwarts Express. Joins Draco's gang in Senior Year.
- Ascended Extra: Appears in only a few seconds of Sequel but throughout Senior Year. Also counts vis-à-vis her very minor role in the books.
- The Cameo: For Pat Brady, a Hollywood talent agent who counts Team Starkid among her clients.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Everyone calls her Candy Lady.
- Funny Background Event: Pat Brady's mugging throughout the show.
- Mugged for Disguise: By a huge, deep-voiced Death Eater, no less.
- The Quiet One: Has only one line in Senior Year.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: Spoofed. She's treated as if she's this to Crabbe, despite them not being remotely similar.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: She disappears after the first scene of Act 2.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Corey Dorris
"You know what, Potter-boy-bitch-boy-Potter?! You're a hotshot loose cannon! It's that kind of maverick attitude... that makes you perfect for the Wizard Cops!"Chief of the Wizard Cops, and Minister of Magic in Harry's final year.
- Arson, Murder, and Lifesaving: Delivers two such speeches, first to Harry in the prologue, then the entire cast after the climax.
- Bald Black Leader Guy: Doesn't appear to be bald under the hat, but fits the trope's spirit to a tee.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: Borrows Cho's catchphrase for his Incoming Ham line.
- Culture Equals Costume: Like his film incarnation, he wears a traditional African cap.
- Da Chief: Yup.
- Expy: Of Nick Fury.
- Eyepatch of Power: As part of his Nick Fury schtick. Oddly, he shares this accessory with Yaxley, Corey Dorris' other character in the trilogy.
- Large Ham: He has all the Bald Black Leader Guy and Da Chief mannerisms, so this is to be expected.
- Nice Hat: Resembles a kofia, but tasseled like a fez.
- Verbal Tic: Occasionally engages in odd repetition of a term, such as referring to a Time-Turner as a "time-turner-time-turner-turner".
- Whole Costume Reference: To Nick Fury, with the Badass Longcoat and Eyepatch of Power.
The Wizard Cops
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Eric Kahn Gale, Brant Cox
'"FREEZE, MOTHAFUCKA! WE'RE THE WIZARD COPS!"
- Adaptation Name Change: No Aurors in this universe, just Wizard Cops.
- Cool Shades: Both of them.
- Creator Cameo: The more verbal of the two is played by Eric Kahn Gale, one of Team Starkid's creative minds, in his first onstage appearance since before they were even Starkid.
- Incoming Ham: Courtesy of Eric's cop. "FREEZE, MOTHAFUCKA! WE'RE THE WIZARD COPS!"
- The Quiet One: Brant's cop doesn't say much.
- SpaceX: Wizard Cops, parodying the series' unique "Wizard X" version of the trope.
- Totally Radical: Eric's cop.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Allie-Faye Monka
"Ron, as someone who is so very happy in love, I have advice for you. Just, how you say, be yourself."
- Basement-Dweller: Lives at the Burrow with the Weasleys.
- Brought to You by the Letter "S": Wears monogrammed pajamas just like the rest of the Weasleys.
- Foreign Fanservice: Played to the hilt.
- Happily Married: To Bill, obnoxiously so.
- Nice Hat: A very French-looking beret, similar to what the film series included in its Beauxbatons uniforms.
- Sickeningly Sweethearts: With Bill.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Allie-Faye Monka
"Dad, I'm scared. Could you come with me?"Harry's son, who is getting ready to start his first year of Hogwarts 19 years after the events of Senior Year.
- Adaptation Name Change: His middle name is now Scarfy instead of Severus.
- Cross-Cast Role: Complete with Allie-Faye's bright red lips.
- Dead Guy Junior: Though a different dead guy supplies the middle name in this version.
- Strong Family Resemblance: Has the same Nerd Glasses and Funny Afro as Past!Harry.
Guard at King's Cross Station
- Appears in: SequelPlayed by: Brian Rosenthal
"Platform nine, platform ten. Nothing in between."
- Badass Mustache: A nice big silver one.
- Flat-Earth Atheist: Over the course of his career, seven hundred kids have asked him how to get to platform nine and three-quarters, and he still insists there's no such thing. He's so accustomed to it that he can be seen reciting to no one in particular that there's nothing between platforms nine and ten, and already knows what Harry is going to say when he asks about the platform.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Denise Donovan
"Tom Riddle? Suit yourself, but I warn you THIS BOY'S A MONSTER!!!"
- Artistic License – Religion: Has her canon name of Mrs. Cole despite being depicted as a nun.
- Large Ham: Denise only has two minutes of stage time in the whole trilogy so you'd better believe she makes the most of it.
- Naughty Nuns: Not flagrantly so, but she is played by the post-college Starkid's de facto Ms. Fanservice.
- Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Like most of the actors who only appeared in the third installment, Denise averts it.
Tom, Mary, and Thoms Riddle
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Chris Allen (Tom), Arielle Goldman (Mary), Nico Ager (Thoms)
- Adaptation Name Change: On the prop for the Riddle family gravestone in Musical, someone accidentally wrote Thomas Riddle's name as "Thoms Riddle". They rolled with it, first by having Cedric read the name aloud as "Thoms" and finally making Thoms the character's official name in Senior Year.
- Anachronism Stew: Tom's attire is straight out of the 1990s, he uses headphones from the same time period, and he references the Ninja Turtles, which all makes sense even if it would result in a shockingly young Voldemort... but Mary is seen talking on an iPhone.
- Basement-Dweller: Tom is an adult living with his parents, which wasn't too odd when it was true of the canonical version, but the modern setting of the Riddle house in this version takes that opportunity to characterize him as a loser.
- Manchild: Tom, a man old enough to have a 15-year-old son, dresses and acts like a 15-year-old himself.
- O.C. Stand-in: Nothing is known about the canonical Riddle family, save the implication that they're Upper Class Twits. Team Starkid interprets them as a mix of hillbillies and just plain weirdos.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Tom Sr.'s impression of Merope looks uncomfortably like a mockery of mentally disabled people, and all three of them go silent upon discovering that Tom Jr. is a dancer (the implied homophobia was explicit in the original script).
- Toilet Humor: The overly-prolonged scene where Thoms poops his pants and young Voldemort is forced to clean it up.
- We All Live in America: Quoth Tom, "Show me Hogwarts on a map of the United States of America. It doesn't exist!"
The Hungarian Horntail
- Appears in: Musical, Senior Year (as a corpse)Played by: Lauren Lopez (mouth, voice), Devin Lytle (eyes, voice), Tyler Brunsman (neck)
"Ra ra ra ra ra."
- The Dreaded: Most terrifying thing you ever seen in your whole life!
- Muppet: A very large and expressive, if floppy, puppet performed by three people.
- Music Soothes the Savage Beast: Harry puts it to sleep with a lullaby.
- Retcon: Harry lulls it to sleep, then puts it in a wrestling hold to claim victory. Based on the circumstances of a reenactment of the scene involving a snake, and the fact that the Horntail's carcass appears in Hagrid's hut, it appears that Senior Year is canon with the original script, in which Harry used his wand to blow its brains out.
- Voice of the Legion: Both of its facial puppeteers provide its voice.
The Sorting Hat
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Nick Lang
"This is our home too, Harry."
- Adaptational Sexuality: Gay. The original, being more object than character, had no sexuality to speak of.
- Animate Inanimate Object: Not merely a talking hat, he can apparently fly around under his own power.
- Hand Puppet: Of course.
- Happily Married: To Scarfy.
- Named by the Adaptation: "Sorty".
- Straight Gay: To Scarfy's Camp Gay.
- Undying Loyalty: He's Team Dumbledore!
- Appears in: SequelPlayed by: Jim Povolo
"Tonight, the centaurs will make celebracion, with dancing, music, and much coitus with this one!"
- Big Damn Heroes: Rushes to the rescue against both Werewolf!Lupin and Umbridge.
- Can't Argue with Elves: Everyone thinks he's awesome.Harry: Thanks, Firenze. You're so cool!
Firenze: [chuckles] I sure am.
- Coconut Superpowers: How does Team Starkid create a centaur? They glue a teeny-tiny horse body to Jim Povolo's ass, of course. Especially funny since Firenze appears in the same scene as a very well-made werewolf, so they probably could have done better if it wasn't so dang funny.
- Furry Reminder: Ron strokes him, causing a horse-like shudder to run through his entire body.
- Gag Penis: Like other centaurs, he apparently has a massive horse penis. Ron takes a look at it and is very impressed.
- Groin Attack: Umbridge learns that this doesn't really work on centaurs.Firenze: Ah! My chest!
- It Is Pronounced "Tro-PAY": Pronounces several words pretentiously.
- Mr. Fanservice: A massive, shirtless man with long blond hair and a soothing voice.
- One-Gender Race: He explains that there are no remaining centaur women, and his mission is to find a human woman strong enough to withstand sex with the centaurs so that the race can be repopulated.
- Our Centaurs Are Different: A One-Gender Race of stoner dudes.
- Smoking Hot Sex: Seen with a cigarette after mating with Professor Umbridge.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: As you'd expect from a centaur.
- Warrior Poet: A gentle and poetic figure who nevertheless engages in an awesome hand-to-hand combat scene against Umbridge.
- Appears in: SequelPlayed by: Arielle Goldman
"Listen, kid, I don't have all the answers. I don't even know why I can talk, really. But as another talking animal once said, 'All fathers care for their sons.' So hang in there. Okay?"
- Demoted to Extra: A constant presence throughout the books, here she's only in a few scenes in the second show. It even appears that she's a Hogwarts owl instead of belonging to Harry.
- Talking Animal: And she's not sure why.
- Troll: While the first-years are cleaning the Owlery, she poops on the floor and says "You missed a spot."
- Appears in: SequelPlayed by: n/a
- Dead All Along: How did an ordinary rat live over ten years? He didn't. According to Ron, he's been dead for years.
- Decomposite Character: Has no connection to Peter Pettigrew.
- Parrot Pet Position: Spends almost the entirety of Sequel perched on Ron's shoulder.
- Red Herring: We're certainly given enough reason to suspect him of being Peter Pettigrew.
- Appears in: SequelPlayed by: n/a
- The Cat Came Back: Actual cat example. He pops up in the strangest places.
- Coconut Superpowers: Portrayed by some kind of stuffed animal with the tail of some other stuffed animal and wearing a tiger mask.
- Death by Adaptation: Gets thrown to werewolf!Lupin and is never seen again. Hey, that's more closure than he got in canon.
- Mix-and-Match Critters: Doesn't look much like a cat, probably reflecting the canon character's part-kneazle roots.
- Running Gag: Any time a character reaches into a bag in Sequel, you can bet that, to their horror, they'll pull a yowling Crookshanks out of it.
- That Poor Cat: They make good use of this trope and its associated sound effects.
Salazar Slytherin's Basilisk
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Brian Holden (voice, lead puppeteer), Allie-Faye Monka, Denise Donovan, Arielle Goldman (body puppeteers)
"Sssssnake. I'm a snake! Oh, where'd my arms go? Just kidding, I'm a snaaaaake."
- Brown Note: Though unlike the canon version, it can only petrify with its gaze, not kill.
- Muppet: Of a much higher quality than the Hungarian Horntail.
- Large Ham: Has very silly dialogue with delivery to match.
- No Ontological Inertia: Killing it cures all of its petrified victims. Earlier on, it's established that this is the way it works so it doesn't come out of left field.
- Sssssnaketalk: Well, yeah.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Jeff Blim
"And now, I'm going to eat you!"An enormous spider who lives in the Forbidden Forest. The living embodiment of Vore and the Big-Lipped Alligator Moment.
- Audience Participation Song: "The lyrics are very simple, follow along!"
- Coconut Superpowers: The spider costume is unconvincing enough already, but then Jeff suffers multiple Wardrobe Malfunctions.
- Faux Affably Evil: Cordially speaks and sings to the trio about his intent to eat them. The rather severe sexual overtones don't help.
- It Makes Sense in Context: Listening to his Villain Song without knowing ahead of time that it's sung from the perspective of a giant spider who wants to eat you is, well... surreal.
- Refuge in Audacity: He appears, sings a song called "Get In My Mouth" that's basically a vore anthem, and then disappears, never to be mentioned again.
- Summon Backup Dancers: His fellow spiders emerge as he launches into his song.
- Talking AnimalHarry: Yes! I do have the magical ability to talk to spiders! I'm back!Aragog: Nah, I'm just a spider with the magical ability to talk to humans.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Chris Allen
"Awww, poor baby. Harry Potter's girlfriend sad, because she's still alive! Does baby want some wine with that cheese? Fuck you!"
- Butt-Monkey: She's the standard by which uncoolness is measured at Hogwarts.
- Cross-Cast Role: One of the most horrendously obvious examples in the trilogy.
- The Ghost: Pardon the pun. Like Hagrid, she's a Running Gag in the first two musicals but doesn't appear until the third.
- Hypocritical Humor: Advises Ginny against killing herself... because the last thing Hogwarts needs is the ghost of a whiny bitch with an annoying screechy voice.
Nearly Headless Nick
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Joe Moses
"You look glum, Mr. Weasley. What ails you?"
The Gray Lady
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Elona Finlay
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: n/a
- Appears in: MusicalPlayed by: Jim Povolo
"Do you have your space suit, Dumbledore?"A talking lion and the headmaster of Pigfarts, a wizarding school on Mars.
- Expy: Of Dumbledore and Aslan.
- Horse of a Different Color: Lets good students ride around on his back. We see Dumbledore doing so.
- Panthera Awesome: Very much.
- Real After All: As it turns out, he and his school are not some delusion of Draco's, but wizard-kind's most closely-guarded secret. Dialogue in Senior Year implies that everyone learned this in the cast's unseen third year.
- Series Mascot: Of the trilogy and of Team Starkid as a whole.
- Talking Animal: A talking lion.
The Scarf of Sexual Preference
- Appears in: Sequel, Senior YearPlayed by: Nick Lang
"Oh... interesting... I could see you going a number of ways."After being sorted into their House, students are then turned over to the Sorting Hat's (eventual) husband, the Scarf of Sexual Preference, who shouts out that student's sexual orientation.
- Affectionate Nickname: Calls Dumbledore "Dumbledear".
- Animate Inanimate Object: A talking scarf who can fly around on his own.
- Badass Beard: Looks vaguely like he has one.
- Camp Gay: Scarfy, but it's played ironically with the joke being that he is unbelievably and unabashedly stereotypical in every way.
- Defiant to the End: Fearlessly gives Voldemort a Kirk Summation while trapped in the Dark Lord's clutches. It gets him killed.
- Everything's Better with Rainbows: Is rainbow-colored, fitting given his Camp Gay characterization and the fact that there are no known instances of him directly sorting a student as straight.
- Hand Puppet: Of course.
- Happily Married: To Sorty.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Charges the basilisk alone to buy the students some time, and ends up in Voldemort's clutches.
- In-Series Nickname: "Scarfy".
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Voiced in the style of Paul Lynde.
- Appears in: SequelPlayed by: Nick Lang
"Do you love them enough to scold them? Do you love them enough to whip their li'l bottoms? Do you love them enough... to kill them?"The abusive mother of Dolores Umbridge that appears in her hallucination.
- Abusive Parents: Dolores' stories of her would certainly suggest it.
- Cross-Cast Role: Not as manly as her daughter, but quite shrill.
- Face Framed in Shadow: Possibly unintentional, but the effect adds to the horror of the scene.
- Mommy Issues: A manifestation of Dolores'.
- Posthumous Character: Appears as her daughter's psychotic hallucinations.
- Sanity Slippage: Her appearance signifies this for Dolores.Umbridge: Why didn't I think of that before?
Mama: Because it's crazy!
Umbridge: Yeah! Uh... uh-oh... I'm crazy now, aren't I Mama?
Mama: I wouldn't be here if you wasn't!
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Bob Joles
"Blood begins to spurt from the diary as Voldemort convulses. Voldemort's chest explodes open! A blinding white light shines out! Pieces of Voldemort's body begin to break off, as he desperately wails! His face flakes away, revealing a grotesque screaming skull! Soon, all his skin ignites into flame! His burning skeleton crumbles into a mess of gore and green goo! JOE WALKER DIES!!!"Due to the time constraints and overall ambitious nature of Senior Year, it was performed as a staged reading instead of a full performance; like most readings, it therefore employed a narrator to read the stage directions. However, the narration proved to be unnecessary for understanding the story and so was mostly used to provide more jokes.
- The Cameo: For Hollywood voice actor Bob Joles, who also appeared in Starship; Starkid has access to his talents because he's married to their agent.
- Interactive Narrator: During this moment:Narrator: Ginny walks up a crooked staircase to the bedroom, where she finds Ron sitting on the edge of the bed, lightly strumming a guitar and singing with his meager voice.
Narrator: Sorry, Ron.
- The Long List: Just before the climax, he rattles off a list of Hogwarts students accompanying Harry into the Chamber of Secrets. The list goes on forever, but still fails to account for every character present.
- Take Our Word for It: His purpose in a nutshell. In a typical script reading, a narrator is necessary to let the audience know what they should be seeing onstage. In practice, though, Senior Year was staged so well that such a narrator was unnecessary, so most of Bob's narration consists of describing impossible Visual Effects of Awesome for comedic purposes.
- Appears in: Senior YearPlayed by: Sango Tajima
"Come on daddies! We so late!"The adopted daughter of Quirrell and Voldemort, who attends Hogwarts alongside Albus Potter.