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This is a "Wild Mass Guess" entry, where we pull out all the sanity stops on theorizing. The regular entry on this topic is elsewhere. Please see this programme note.
A Very Potter Musical
WMG for A Very Potter Musical. And it's going to be Totally Spoilerific!
All of the anachronism is a result of the Patriots, and of Naked Snake causing a Time Paradox.
It is a Boss Zefron poster.
  • Someone forward this to the troupe now!

Dumbledore, Voldemort, Quirrel, and Rumbleroar are dead, and Pigfarts is the afterlife.
Rumbleroar=Aslan. I don't know if Draco is suicidal or if he just got a glimpse of the afterlife at some point (Luscius[sic] Avada Kedavr-ing Draco half to death for accidentally giving their house-elf a sock?) and was that misguided about the whole thing. If the final song can be taken as canon, the death eaters must have swarmed the castle and killed everyone before discovering that Voldemort was dead, since they were only protected from Voldemort and not his followers. If not, no big deal. Voldemort told Quirrel they were both alive and Quirrel saved him because Quirrel was a good and loyal man, and the conservative Christians are wrong, so he got a happy afterlife.
  • An addition to the guess, Snape is a metaphor for Jadis because they're both half-bloods and Snape killed Rumbleroar.
Jossed by the Threequel

Cedric Diggory is still alive.
He faked his part in Voldemort's return so as to more easily live his double life as Cornelius Fudge. The Selective Obliviousness was (unnecessary) payback to Voldemort for shouting " Avada Kedabra" while silently casting an Emerald City spell. Jossed by the Threequel
  • Moreover, Cedric will return for AV P3quel... except he will for some reason sparkle...

Going with the above, Ginny lives a double life as Rita Skeeter.
In Harry she claims to have seen him "conquer certain death," despite the song being sung before the first task. This would also explain why Rita wasn't in AVPM.

Snape true alliance is Rumbleroar
He is trying to keep Pigfats existence a secret!

A Very Potter Threequel will feature Luna Lovegood in a prominent role.
[[ Confirmed by the Threequel
  • Maybe "Chamber of Secrets", with Luna taking Ginny's role?
    • Only, in this version, Luna possesses the diary rather than the other way around.
  • The main villain will be Bellatrix, who will finally get her long awaited Alternate Character Interpretation.

A Very Potter Threequel will be like this.

  • Voldemort really has 8 horcruxes, the 8th being Tom Riddle's Diary. Voldemort still wants his body back, so he and Quirrell plot to use that Horcrux to do so. Meanwhile, Dumbeldore visits the Durseleys and tells them about the inheritance Harry got from the characters who died last year. The Durselys start to respect Harry from now on. Dumbledore takes Harry to see Professor Slughorn, who Harry thinks is the new DADA teacher.

Later, Harry and Ginny hit a bump in their relationship and Harry dumps her. Ginny finds the diary, and write in in which tells her how she can get Harry to like her, and she gets put in a hypnotonic state.

Harry starts dating Cho Chang but acts insensitive when talking about Cedric Diggory, which makes Cho mad. Meanwhile Ginny starts to do crazy things the book is telling her, like killing chickens, painting blook on the wall, stealing sewer lids and opening the Chamber of Secrets.

Harry then starts to hear voices in his head and goes insane. He is taken to a mental hospital and meets Neville's parents.

And it will end with Harry touching Quirrel who dies because of the love sheild.

  • Alternatively to the Harry dumps Ginny, goes for Cho thing: Harry becomes distraught over all that's happening at Hogwarts, isolating Ginny, who instead goes for Dean Thomas, which only adds to Harry's stress levels.

The story of AVPM and AVPS are more or less what the Wizarding World knows/remembers about Harry adventures
Many things and details are down right wrong, like if they come from a Rita Skeeter article, in fact, they might have, considering there is no mention of her (or Sirius) being a animagus and she seems to be a rather honest report in this story.

A Very Potter Musical is a production in the Harry Potter Universe.
  • Kind of going off of the point above, the musical could be the equivalent of the Boy in the Iceberg play in Avatar: The Last Airbender in the Harry Potter Universe. After all, it wouldn't be too far fetched that years after everything happened someone in the Wizarding World though the events at Hogwarts during the last wizarding war could make a great musical and decided to make it comedic.
    • Alternately, it's either much less popular in the wizarding world, or subject to a major case of Misaimed Fandom - the wizarding producers of the play meant to be horribly offensive in its portrayal of various heroes of the last wizarding war. Our enjoyment of it is possibly inspiring a new wave of anti-muggle sentiment.

Quirrel turned himself in because he was depressed from feeling betrayed.
Voldemort never actually framed him, and was hoping that his blag might get Fudge to release the unjustly imprisoned man, who had obviously confessed under the influence of an Imperius Curse.

Threequel will include a Glee Shout-Out
They can't not make a Celebrity Paradox joke with Darren Criss.
  • Specifically, Harry at one point breaks out in "Teenage Dream," before the other characters ask what the hell he's doing and he remembers which fandom he's in.
  • Comfirmed: They do say Harry's been acting a little queer.
Threequel will include the fate of Dobby

Draco will try to find Dobby/ his father in the threequel, this may or may not be important to the plot. Jossed by the Threequel

Threequel will include Dobby, Tom Riddle's Diary, Pigfarts, and all the loose ends in the franchise

It will be Four Lines No Waiting plot with everyone's stories intersecting:

  • Various students are getting petrified, and the Chamber of Secrets is opened.

  • Harry, left to run Hogwarts, is having his own troubles with Ginny, (who's secretly confiding her troubles in a diary) all the while getting strange visits by Dumbledore.

  • Hermione and Ron get used to a relationship and are forced to put up with the obnoxious Gilderoy Lockhart, the new D.A.D.A. teacher.

  • Luna and Draco search for Dobby, and ways to get to Pigfarts, unaware they're being followed by Narcissa.

These all converge when Ginny is possessed and taken into the Chamber of Secrets. Lockhart is then revealed to be Barty Crouch Jr. working for Lucius Malfoy, and that Lucius plans to revive the young Tom Riddle from his diary, which is in fact the eighth horcrux.

It all ends with a Gambit Pileup involving the Death Eaters, Rumbleroar, Dobby, Dumbledore, and the return of Quirrel/Voldemort.

  • Chamber of Secrets is the only book they haven't really touched.

That plot hole they say exists. . .
It's Harry's Firebolt! In the first song of the first musical, Harry says he's gonna take his Firebolt and take to the skies; well in the sequel, he gives his Firebolt to Lupin and Serius and shouldn't have it in the first one.

Harry's middle name is Freaking

Hence Harry "Freaking" Potter.
  • I . . . actually buy that.
In the same vein Cho Chang's actual last name is Y'All.

The DADA teacher in the threequel will be Gilderoy Lockhart.
The Composite Character of Quirrel and Barty Crouch Jr. was in AVPM. Lupin and Umbridge were in AVPS. Snape is dead, and it seems unlikely that Dumbledore will let the Carrows teach. That leaves Lockhart.

The show itself is a Horcrux
Voldemort turned it into one when he killed Fudge, and that is how he was able to return.

Evanna Lynch will play Luna
Quirrell isn't TECHNICALLY a horcrux
Due to their... close friendship while sharing the same body, it caused a piece of Voldemort's soul to be left behind after they seperated.

Lucius is a closeted homosexual
He was forced to marry to produce an heir. He wasn't able to perform very well for Narcissa. She eventually got so desperate that she shagged the House-elf. There's also his... effeminate mannerisms. The fact he insults his son by calling him a poof could be a sign of an Armoured Closet Gay.

Elements which may appear in AVPT
  • The Philosopher's Stone
  • The Chamber of Secrets
  • The Order of the Phoenix
  • The Half-Blood Prince
  • The Deathly Hallows

  • Viktor Krum
  • Fleur Delacour
  • Luna Lovegood
  • Xenophilius Lovegood
  • Gellert Grindelwald
  • Dobby
  • Kreacher
  • Fred and George Weasley
  • Percy Weasley
  • Lavender Brown
  • Katie Bell
  • Minerva McGonagall
  • Rubeus Hagrid
  • Sybill Trelawney
  • Pomona Sprout
  • Filius Flitwick
  • Gilderoy Lockhart
  • Mad-Eye Moody
  • Horace Slughorn
  • Nymphadora Tonks
  • Tom Riddle
  • Regulus Black
  • Amycus and Alecto Carrow
  • Fenrir Greyback
  • Scabior
  • The Dursleys
  • Nearly Headless Nick
  • The Grey Lady
  • The Bloody Baron
  • The Fat Friar
  • Peeves
  • Moaning Myrtle

Quirrell is straight
But has a huge fetish for Regency style clothing

The bomb sandwich was planned by Snape and Dumbledore just to screw with Hermione's head
Neither of them like her very much, and Snape is shown to be loyal to Dumbledore in this version too, so they planned the sandwich to mock her when she inevitably came to the conclusion that Snape was trying to kill Harry.

Snape will play a role in the threequel somehow
Because, honestly, it's hard to imagine one of these plays without "What the devil is goooing on heeeere!"
  • They do need a ghost character, after all.

The Threequel will go way, way back
Lockhart, in an attempt to impress Rita Skeeter, will go back in time to write Hogwarts, a History. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco go back to stop him from changing the present...past...whatever. Once in the past, the kids meet the founders of Hogwarts and have to convince them to create the school. Problems arise when the kids learn that these wizards are nothing like the ones they read about in history: Godric is a Cowardly Lion, Rowena is a Brainless Beauty (without her diadem), Salazar is the Only Sane Man, and Helga just wants to cook. Each one matches up with a founder, with Harry teaching Godric to be brave, Hermione having intellectual conversations with Rowena, Malfoy teaching Salazar how to slither, and Ron trying to find out just what the hell a Hufflepuff is for Helga's sake. Hilarity Ensues. On the side is the problem of the missing Helena Ravenclaw and the (not yet) Bloody Baron, along with Lockhart's attempts to insert himself into history.
  • By Rule of Funny and Rule of Cool, the founders will end up in the same era as the Mauraders, the mysterious Half-Blood Prince, and Tom Riddle opening the Chamber of Secrets, neating finishing the plots of the books.

Draco Malfoy has no spine.
He rolls around on the floor because of this. And why doesn't he have a spine? Because he's a f*cking elf!
The plot of a Very Potter Threequel will include...
Harry, Ron, Hermione and Draco trying to get a certain "goffic" Mary Sue out of their universe.
The characters know how to pronounce Hermione's name, they only mispronounce it to troll her
Notice, they're singing "Hermione can't draw", not "Herman can't draw".
Gilderoy Lockhart really did write the Harry Potter series
They mention that they couldn't catch him because he has a Time Turner. After finding out what happened with Harry defeating the snake in the Chamber of Secrets, he goes back in time to before Twilight and The Hunger Games became popular and publishes the Harry Potter books.
Lockhart's attempts to sell Harry's story had motivation other than greed.
When Lockhart first entered the muggle world to find books to steal, he noticed that there was a book series more popular than Twilight or Hunger Games: Harry Potter series. So, all of his actions were done to complete a time loop.
The guy played by Jim Povolo in Voldemort's flashbacks was Goyle, Sr.
UrinetownWMG/TheaterWaiting for Godot

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