: "But when [Mr. Burns] planned to steal our sunlight, he crossed that line between everyday villainy and cartoonish supervillany
So you want to become a supervillain
. Here's a handy guide to accomplishing this, in several easy steps!
- Plot to, and make an attempt to, deprive a population of a basic necessity, such as the sun, or the world.
- Kick the Dog every chance you get, even if the logic of the action doesn't make any sense or is detrimental to your goals.
- Have your plans foiled at least once by one or more of the following:
- Have a new plot every week for the aforementioned group(s) to foil.
- Have a theme or a gimmick; something as broad as "Mad Scientist who wants to take over the world/city/Tri-State Area" works if pursued with style and variety, but you really want to have a theme - ice and coldness, or riddles, for instance.
- Hate Goodness.
- Note: If the reason you hate good is because it is your weakness, you are already a cartoonish Supervillain, and need go no further on this list.
- Hate Christmas. Other holidays are allowed, but Christmas is a must.
- Join a political party the writer dislikes.
There is one thing you must never, ever do
to be a true Cartoonish Supervillain:
This doesn't mean you have to fail at every
step of your plan, because it's a well known fact that You Can't Thwart Stage One
. You'll probably get to rob the bank or build the Doomsday Device
, and you usually get to escape
when it goes pear-shaped. But beyond that, you're pretty much screwed. Don't forget to shake your fist, swear you'll be back
and never re-use any of your old plans
. It's all part of the supervillain
: If your somehow end up in a Post-modern work
, expect sudden success
, but also expect to face lots of real-life consequences
of actually leading a criminal organisation or villainous movement. Then again, you might end up on top due to people feeling that Evil Is Cool
, so enjoy it while it lasts.