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Series / Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld

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"Welcome to Red Eye. It's like Return of the Jedi, if by 'Jedi', you mean 'mysterious rash shaped like an avocado'."

Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld is Fox News Channel's successful comedy offering, a panel discussion show originally hosted by former Maxim UK Editor Greg Gutfeld, along with his "repulsive sidekick" Bill Schulz (who vanished without much of an explanation in November 2013), and ombudsman (now full-time panelist) "TV's" Andy Levy. It aired at 3:00 am ET Tuesday through Saturday. In February 2015, Greg left Red Eye to host The Greg Gutfeld Show. In June 2015, the position of permanent host was handed over to comedian Tom Shillue.

The show hovered between News Parody and Faux News, and it's like The View if The View had a decidedly pro-Camp Gay bias. Dissimile and absurdist tangents abound. Vulgar Humor and double entendres are sprinkled throughout, especially when introductions are given. The show features panelists and guests discussing the latest news in politics, pop culture, entertainment, business, sports, and religion.

Guests on the show are primarily composed of political pundits, stand-up comedians, musicians, authors, and attractive women, with most episodes containing one of each (and almost every episode featuring an attractive female panelist sitting in the chair at the far right of the table, affectionately referred to as the "Leg Chair"). Political opinions vary amongst the guests, with the show's original trio consisting of an oddly perfect balance: Greg's a conservative-leaning libertarian, Bill's a liberal, and Andy's a libertarian who hates both conservatives and liberals. The show takes pot-shots at everyone and everything under the sun, including Fox News itself. Despite its middle-of-the-night timeslot, the show had beaten many primetime cable news shows in the ratings, and developed a loyal cult following, making it arguably the only news program that can currently claim this status.

The show was cancelled on April 3, 2017; in 2021, The Greg Gutfeld Show moved to weeknights as Gutfeld!, which is positioned as a conservative-leaning competitor to the major networks' late-night talk shows (in both format and scheduling).


  • Accentuate the Negative: During an interview with Adam Carolla, they discussed his ability to complain about anything, ranging from a Mcdonald's quarter-pounder to lesbians because "lesbians are great until you realize they want nothing to do with your penis" and "they don't all let you watch." This was a continuation of Carolla's old radio schtick of challenging callers to try to find something he couldn't complain about.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: "He brushes his teeth with a hedgehog, flosses with barbed wire, and gargles with Mr. Pibb."
  • Artistic License – Geography: Greg is frequently wrong not only about where a place is located but what kind of place it is, such as "the nation of Hawaii" or "the entire city of Ukraine," although sometimes this is clearly parodied by Greg doing it on purpose, such as "the continent/planet of England."
  • Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Both the cast and guests had moments of zoning out during the show, particularly on lengthy subjects. After Dr. Baden explained that embalming fluid was mostly formaldehyde, Greg *immediately* asked "what's in it?".
  • Baseball Episode: Red Eye was challenged to a softball match by a strip club. Greg, Bill, Andy, Courtney Friel and Professor Marc Lamont Hill of Columbia University and the strippers divided up and faced off. As one might expect with Red Eye, the game was riddled with oddness and stupidity, from Bill's pathetic headfirst slide/stumble into home plate, Andy's observation that most of the strippers are from "Russia, which I think is somewhere in Africa", and Greg's "stripper injury."
  • Big Stupid Doo Doo Head: One of Greg's signature insults, "Jerky Jerk Jerkface from Planet Jerkland".
  • Black Is Bigger in Bed: Andy once told Sherrod "Yeah, you're black, it's huge, we get it," to which he responded "That's right! He's in my sock right now, you lucky he ain't hear you!"
  • Boomerang Bigot: A story about global warming being racist sparks "black power" rants from both Andy during the Halftime Report and Bill during the Bill-a-buster, both labeling Greg a "white cracker devil."
    • In reference to the various conspiracy theories about Jews being responsible for everything, Andy (who is Jewish) would occasionally read a book silently as Greg introduced him before Andy concluded "it was the Jews". These books ranged from Conspiracy Theories for Dummies to Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. He would also peddle his conspiracy theory pamphlets, titled "THE JOOS".
  • Butt-Monkey:
    • Bill is the most obvious, but all 3 of the Red Eye trio gets a turn. Bill is a Butt Monkey to Greg, who is often a Butt Monkey to Andy, who is in turn the target of jokes from both Greg AND Bill.
    • Frequent guest Paul Mecurio takes the cake, however. When he's on, Greg and Andy can be just plain mean to the guy.
    • According to Greg and Andy, when Jesse Joyce isn't working at one of his dozens of jobs at the mall and fondling his underage girl/boyfriends, he's buying his clothes at Hot Topic and impersonating Herman Munster.
  • Call-Back: During a Halloween episode, a zombie from Blood Manor named Rachel would silently stand right next to people as they spoke. When asked how he stayed so calm, Andy Levy responded "She was only the second scariest Rachel I ever met," a callback to former panelist Rachel Marsden.
  • Camp Straight: Bill Schulz is "very heterosexual," and there are "women who can confirm it (I just haven’t met any)." But his rather campy personal demeanor and the even more outrageous character he played on Red Eye earned him a devoted gay following that he remains reluctant to scare off with any too-sincere professions of heterosexuality.
  • Catchphrase:
    • Greg:
      • "And if you disagree with me, then ''you'', sir. Are worse. Than HITLER! It's true."
      • "If you disagree with me, then you're a racist, homophobic, (fill-in-the-blank)-ophobe."
      • He often opened the Mail Time with "You write, I read..." followed by something involving blood or awesomeness, such as "You write, I read, then I run you over in a dune buggy made of FIRE!"
    • Andy Levy often says, "I apologize for nothing," while Gutfeld "apologizes for everything."
    • "Shut up, Bill" is one for both Greg and Andy. Mike Baker lampshaded this during the show Andy hosted, expressing his surprise that Andy 21 minutes before uttering that phrase.
  • Censored for Comedy: After Keith Olbermann alleged Bill O'Reilly got his own named bleeped from a joke, Greg took responsibility and had some fun with the censors himself.
    Greg: As for Olbermann, lets face it: the guy is a great guy. I mean, so what if he likes to help out troubled young women. Or the fact that he uses his job to shamelessly help the underprivileged, impressionable secretaries. And did you hear that he spends his time helping kids with head injuries? I read somewhere he relaxes quietly in a bathtub. Nude. He is the LAST GUY you would see banging a drug-addicted stripper. And he would never steal her coke, and do a line off her baby daughters head. What a hero.
  • Chick Magnet: Andy Levy. His online fanbase is very passionate, female panelists frequently try to flirt with him, and even his cohosts acknowledge that he has a special something.
  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Bill mysteriously vanished from the show in late 2013...and fell prey to this until Greg began an episode with a brief explanation that he "moved on." Everyone has been tight-lipped about it ever since, although Bill has hinted strongly on Twitter that he was fired.
  • Clip Show: For several years, their New Year's Eve special would be one of these.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Greg. He's obsessed with unicorns, has a bizarre and twisted sense of humor, and is responsible for the majority of strange fake backstories for everyone. He tones back his weird persona when appearing on Fox's other shows, however, and is allegedly pretty normal in real life.
    • People who know of Andrew Breitbart as the ardent conservative activist that he was would probably be surprised to see his appearances on Red Eye and find out he was very much this. One of his responses to a question was to regurgitate a colored ball. When asked a follow-up question, he dumped the rest of the balls on the table. He also engaged in other bizarre acts such as snorting powered wine off a mirror, inhaling helium, and asking Dr. Drew for help with his "friend's" "sexual mania."
  • Comedic Sociopath: According to Greg's jokes about himself, he is a globetrotting serial killer and molester with a cadre of captured, underage male slaves he calls "House Boys" and keeps locked in his basement, occasionally letting them upstairs for ambiguously sexual amusement or forcing them to engage in disturbing "games" for their freedom. They're also implied to be captured immigrants, none of them able to speak English.
  • Comically Missing the Point: Andy's question to Ann Coulter
    Andy: "Ann, you got in a little hot water for something you said about Jews on 'The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch.' As a Jew, I would be remiss if I didn't ask: What the HELL were you doing on CNBC?"
    Ann: "Yes, many have asked."
    Andy: "Yeah, don't do that again."
    Ann: "Don't worry."
    Greg: "After this show you won't be on anything."
  • Conspiracy Kitchen Sink: Greg claims that Obama's autobiography was ghostwritten by Bill Ayers in Kenya.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Andy Levy. No one is safe from him (Democrats, Republicans, celebrities, The Black-Eyed Peas, etc.), and his snark can be absolutely vicious. His Twitter feed is almost nothing but snark.
    • In a way, the entire show is a mini World of Snark. And that's just how Greg likes it.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Greg once argued that the Double Entendre introductions are just harmless examples of wordplay, and if you think they're dirty then it is you who has the dirty mind "and for that you should probably be killed."
  • Dissimile: Often used during the into of the show, starting with "Welcome to Red Eye. It's like..."
  • Don't Explain the Joke: Regarding a story about Playgirl "folding," Andy joked that this would save Bill a lot of "unfolding." Angela Mcglowan killed it by explaining it. Played with when he jokes about Playgirl getting "cocky."
    Greg: "Angela, don't explain that one."
    Sherrod Small: "Ohhh, because it's's got a lot of dicks...oh okay, I gotcha."
    Andy: "You know, I didn't even think of it that way, Sherrod, that was good."
    Sherrod: "Oh, yeah, 'cause...the penis..."
  • Double Entendre:
    • Greg's guest intros often include these.
    • "If hilarity were a bowling alley, I'd roll my balls up and down him."
    • Often crosses over into vulgarity; one introduction even made Greg Proops (host of the Proops Poops segment) recoil.
  • Early-Installment Weirdness: Early episodes of the series were quite strange and felt completely unscripted, and the panelists themselves were rather odd as well. During an anniversary episode's flashback to a very early episode, Greg noted his "fat face," Andrew Breitbart's appearance, and Andy Levy's hairstyle and how he "looked like he belonged in an Oingo Boingo tribute band" as well as Bill Hemmer referring to past-Andy as "Mrs. Andy Levy."
  • False Flag Operation: After interviewing(and messing with) some conspiracy theorists during the Ron Paul "Rally for the Republic" convention, Andy tells them he's with Countdown With Keith Olbermann and this will be the "3rd or 4th biggest story of the day."
  • Face Doodling: In a segment about practical jokes, Bill shared an incident in college where he was passed out drunk and his roommates wrote "I LOVE DICK" on his forehead. He received strange looks the next day and only found out why when his horrified mother saw the writing. Geno Bisconte followed up by asking "Was it weird that it was in your handwriting, Bill?".
  • Fanservice: The aforementioned "Leg Chair".
  • Freeze-Frame Bonus: A running gag on the show, where either an image of Pinch making a goofy expression, or images of one of the main trio wearing a creepy metal mask, with subliminal messages such as "OBEY HIM" or "FEED IT" written below them, will flash on-screen for a second at random points in the show.
  • Freudian Trio: Gutfeld is The Kirk, Schulz (later Joanne Nosuchinsky) is The McCoy, and Levy is The Spock.
  • Fun with Acronyms: Done by Jim Norton during his guest host stint: "Has a yacht race left the CEO of BP crying SOS? FYI, the answer has me LMAO. P.S.: F U."
  • G-Rated Drug: During a story discussing powdered wine, Andrew Breitbart pulls out a mirror and snorts a packet of the powder off of it.
  • Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Zig-Zagged by Bill. He will occasionally defend himself as "totally hetero" and other times deliberately invokes his alleged homosexuality.
  • Helium Speech: At the start of one Halftime Report, Andy notes Andrew Breitbart "looks evil tonight". Cut to Breitbart inhaling helium from a balloon and Andy taking his comment back.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: When tripped up by his own poor writing, Greg lamented that he made a trap only he could walk into and that he was like "a kung-fu master who beats himself up".
  • Ineffectual Death Threats: Bill and Greg have often traded these. Greg occasionally attempts to get the viewers to kill Bill as well, once offering "five, ten grand".
    Greg: "You know, I probably shouldn't make this kind of offer on television."
  • Insane Troll Logic: Greg falls back on this sometimes. For example, the panelists were confused by a story from the UK where a man was arrested but not yet charged(in the U.S., you must be arrested on charges). Greg concluded "this is why England lost World War I".
  • Irony: Andy lives on a planet that revolves around this.
  • Kissing Cousins: Greg argues that you have sex with third and fourth cousins and that science has pointed this out. Science, of course, is his houseboy.
  • Lies, Damned Lies, and Statistics: Greg often uses exaggerated, made up statistics with stories, such as "six billion percent". Lampshaded once by Andy.
    Andy: "Greg, you said gun sales were up 6 million percent this year and that you did the math during the break."
    Greg: "That's right."
    Andy: "But there hadn't been a break yet."
    Greg: "Uuuhhh, I meant the break between this show and the previous show."
  • Malaproper: Greg discussing the joy of circus penis. Hilarity Ensues as the entire studio breaks down in laughter. He also has a penchant for butchering names of movies, including "The Duke-ss" and "Bend Her Like Beckham".
  • Metal Detector Checkpoint: Apparently averted during a Christmas Mail Time, when a meat cleaver was brought in. Lampshaded by Greg asking "How did this get into FOX?!"
    Greg: "Seriously, someone could have sent this as a murder weapon. Like, all this stuff could have been used at a crime."
    Bill: "Your DNA is all over it."
    Greg: "Haha, or it will be."
  • Metaphorgotten: Greg loves this trope; he frequently uses phrases like "...then he [did something] like something that [does that thing]"
  • Ms. Fanservice: As a rule, when a youthful and attractive woman is on the panel, she will be this. The tendency to have at least one female panelist seated at the table where her legs are clearly visible in the wide shots is Played for Laughs with that seat being openly dubbed "The Leg Chair".
    • One of the most notorious instances of this is when Patty Ann Browne showed up in a very, very low-cut blue dress—read: Navel-Deep Neckline. During the intros, she playfully squirmed and made a show of trying to "close" the split—which Greg defied, laughing that "You just doubled our ratings, young lady!
      • This led to an amusing (and probably unintentional) undertone when a story led to Patti explaining to the panel the three purposes of women's breasts. (In case you're wondering, they are: "Entice a man to sleep with you", "feed the babies that come from that", and eventually "prove Newton's Law of Gravity".)
    • Joanne Nosuchinsky being promoted to regular to replace Bill can at times ramp this trope up to eleven, considering the Running Gag of her joking air of hyper-flirtatiousness.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: Government regulation... IS AWESOME! *frog explodes*
  • Muppet:
    • Another "regular panelist" is Pinch, a puppet that serves as the show's "New York Times Correspondent." It is a copy of the NYT with cardboard eyes and a string attached, performed by Schulz.
    • Some episodes have a smaller version of Pinch called Porch, made from a smaller newspaper.
    • Both have been absent in many more recent episodes, much to Andy's delight. Bill's leaving pretty much put Pinch on a bus, too.
  • Name That Unfolds Like Lotus Blossom: Greg once told a story of how his Native-American "spiritual guide" once had him make out with a deer, leading Bill to inquire whether the guide's name was "Likes To Trick White Boy". In another instance, Andy stated that many user names he gave from the Activity Pit, such as Harold Stickyhands were not screen names, to which Greg stated they were actually Native American names.
  • Nightmare Face: Frequent guest Andrew W.K. pulls off an amazing one.
  • Nine out of Ten Doctors Agree: Dan Bova during the 2008 presidential primaries: "Some interesting exit poll numbers just came in: 7 out of 10 Hispanic mothers say Bill Schulz sucks."
  • Not Even Bothering with the Accent: Whenever Greg appears as British actor Victor Roberts (his alter ego), he uses his regular speaking voice, American accent and all.
  • Not So Above It All: Several of Fox's normally serious on-air individuals have turned into complete lunatics when appearing on Red Eye, most notably former CIA operative Mike Baker. As Greg once put it, "Red Eye is like the special place in the attic where smart people go to act retarded".
  • N-Word Privileges: After making one of his typical jokes about minorities, Sherrod Small (who is himself black) says "I can say that! You know why? 'Cause I'm racist!"
  • Ominous Floating Castle: Greg once stated hat if he was a billionaire, he would have one that moved the same pace as the Earth's rotation but in the opposite direction. his reason? The sun would never set, so time would never pass, making him immortal.
  • Our Lawyers Advised This Trope: Played with by Andy and the panel:
    Andy: "As always, legal requires me to say that I am not a lawyer, but I am Jewish, so we could assume I could be if I wanted to."
    Greg: "Or a doctor."
    Isaiah Mustafa: "Or a producer"
    Andy: "What was that?"
  • Off the Rails: It is exceedingly common for the Halftime Report to devolve into extended, bizarre exchanges between the panelists that are far removed from the topic, much to Andy's chagrin. This exchange that somehow stemmed from a story about the John Edwards affair:
    Greg: Bill, why are you dressed like a runaway?
    Bill: It's cold in here! I feel bundled up.
    Greg: He needs a long stick with a little tied-up bandana on the end.
    Andy: It's called a bindle.
    Jim Norton: He's like Oliver Twist, if Oliver Twist did poppers.
    Andy attempts to resume.
    Bill: He would have if they existed. Call me, Dickens.
    Andy attempts to resume again.
    Greg: That was so stupid, you're an idiot.
  • Pec Flex: To mimic Josuha McCarroll, self-described "celebutard" The Greg Wilson removes his shirt for a segment and somehow manages to make his nearly nonexistent pectorals bounce.
    Greg Gutfeld: "I cannot believe this. The man has no muscle tone, and yet he is flexing his muscles!"
  • Poe's Law: For one of Bill's man-on-the-street segments, he visited Bronycon, which sparked particularly reactionary bronies to attack and condemn the segment, believing it to be an attack on the fandom by Fox News, and not realizing it was a satirical segment on a comedy program.
  • The Power of Cheese: "What would you do for a bucket of KFC chicken? I'd saw off Bill's arm and I don't even LIKE chicken!"
  • Pretty Fly for a White Guy: During the 2008 season, Patty Ann Browne, "The Notorious P.A.B." sometimes opened the show with rap lyrics or "gangsta" advice. Andy occasionally rapped during the Pregame report.
    Patti Ann: "Eff the library, start smoking weed, mack on some playground tail, and at the end of the day pour a four-o on your dead homies' graves. That's the P.A.B way, bitches."
  • Previously on…: Following Greg's departure from the show, a parody of this trope has become the opening of each episode.
  • Punny Name: Several of Greg's deceased houseboys, including "Dat Ho", "Tu Hung" and "Phen Wei Park".
  • Rant Comedy: Once per episode in the Greg-alogue where Greg rants about a topic of his choosing, usually something that annoys him. Guests hosts have variants, including the Bill-a-Buster, Andy-gram, and "Reportin' Norton"(Jim Norton). Aside from this, certain guests have a tendency to go on long, bizarre rants, including Kevin Godlington and especially Greg Proops.
  • Repeating Ad: In Red Eye's early days, the infamous commercial HeadOn was run very frequently. Lampshaded by Andy in his list of things they had learned over the first 100 episodes of Red Eye, with one of them being "Head On should be applied directly to the forehead".

  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: Greg's more recent show intro close-ups now come with his eyes flashing red....
  • Scandalgate: Parodied in a Running Gag intro for segments focusing on scandals involving the Affordable Care Act: "OBAMA-APOCALYPSO-CARE-AGEDDON!!! (Beat) ...GATE!"
  • Scully Box: Invoked in a Bill-a-Buster to make fun of Greg.
    Bill: "Your soapbox is full of lies! I'd tell you to get off said soapbox but the cameraman wouldn't find ya. Schulzcrest out!"
    • Greg actually stands for the show while the others all sit on bar stools to downplay the fact that Greg is much shorter than they.
  • Snark-to-Snark Combat: Jesse Joyce and Dana Vachon have had epic episodes, one lasting 10 minutes and involving at least 20 consecutive ripostes
  • Split Screen: The Halftime Report is conducted this way and taken to ridiculous levels during de-railed ones, with split screens of the split screens and occasionally having up to five. Also played with by Andy when S.E. Cupp made an appearance, labeling a split screen of the three female panelists "2 Girls 1 Cupp.
  • Split Personality: This is Mike Baker's excuse for two clips contrasting his behavior on different shows. A clip from Cavuto showed him very eloquently discussing oil speculation and OPEC, immediately followed by his statement on Red Eye of "when I smoke me some weed, the first thing I wanna eat is a hot wing sandwich".
  • Straw Misogynist: Greg and Andy play this with regard to a story where Obama called a female reporter "sweetie", where the two discuss how she wouldn't have understood the answer anyway because "it didn't have to do with bath oil or shoes".
  • Strawman Political: Stereotypical liberalism and conservatism is often lampooned by Greg and Bill, respectively, painting certain news figures (and often each other) as this. When they actually do lapse into stereotypical partisan politics, Andy will call them on it during the Halftime Report.
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: When Bill Schultz left in late 2013, frequent guest Joanne Nosuchinshky became the new The McCoy in the show's Freudian Trio, and even continued Bill's specialty—being the resident expert on pop culture. Downplayed in one sense, though: Her politics are more libertarian/conservative than the liberal Bill.
  • Take That!:
    • All the time. Though Andy Levy is especially brutal.
    • Occasionally done by Greg to viewers that insult him in their fan mail.
    Greg: "Also, while I have your attention, I'm doing a survey: what's it like to be lonely?"
    • The show has recently started doing segments called "Only In Obama's America," which parody the special episodes of Sean Hannity's show, with a fake studio audience (sometimes even changing the Red Eye logo to Hannity's when showing the audience), and comically twisting the story being covered to somehow blame Obama for it.
  • That Man Is Dead: Played with in the weirdest way possible. In mid-2013, a Running Gag at the beginning of the show started, involving Greg claiming Andy had met an untimely demise (in an extremely bizarre kind of way), and thus there'll be none of his usual segments. Cue Andy sitting at the table—only Greg introduces him as an alter ego (one occasion involves him being a Swedish athlete named Bjorn). Of course...for the rest of the episode, they all just drop the pretense and refer to Andy by his real name...and the address of his real Twitter-feed appears on screen under him (presumably to let new viewers in on the joke).
    • They eventually dropped this, with Greg saying, "AND, filling in for TV's Andy Levy...IS TV'S ANDY LEVY! Yeah, I was getting tired of that, too...."
  • There Are Two Kinds of People in the World: Andy and Kinky Friedman once had this exchange about cowboy hats:
    Kinky: "Andy, they say there's two types of people that wear cowboy hats: cowboys and assholes. Have you heard that?"
    Andy: "I have heard that. So you're a cowboy, right?"
    Kinky: "No, Andy, I'm an asshole. No self-respecting cowboy would be on Red Eye."
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: One of the favorite weapons in Greg's arsenal, against political figures who do things he takes issue with. Andy loves to do this, too—most famously during his Twitter-fight with rapper Chris Brown.
  • This Just In!: Episodes would often open with Andy performing parodies of the networks overused "Fox News Alerts" by making up bizarre stories for random clips, such as claiming stock footage of two police cars chasing a semi was live footage of the Decpticons chasing Optimus Prime.
    • As part of the show's Running Gag of baseless, random hatred of Belgium, clips would often feature alleged technological innovations by the country, including a redneck driving a motorized recliner was the king of Belgium driving his new throne.
  • This Is for Emphasis, Bitch!: During a story about "green dating" websites:
    Bill: "A woman from one of these sites mentions that you can discuss issues such as 'genetic engineering, organic farming, timber sourcing...topics you'll never hear discussed on Fox News'. How ya like us now, bitch?"
  • Time Travel: A frequent way of "explaining" how jokes made on Red Eye mysteriously end up repeated on other shows the next day.
  • Training Montage: One episode featured a segment with Bill training for a boxing match. Andy later pointed out that any parts where Bill would have had to actually work or exercise convinently weren't shown on camera.
  • Unusually Uninteresting Sight: For every Halloween episode, a bloody zombie named Rachel, from the Halloween attraction Blood Manor, will simply loiter on set menacingly while holding a large, bloody hammer. Her presence is never acknowledged until the end of the show (where she promotes Blood Manor). One year even saw her sitting in a guest's seat, with Greg claiming she was a famous author. Whenever Greg would address her, the camera would center on her as she sat silent and unmoving, with Greg responding as if the "author" had answered his question.
    • Another year had her hovering over Andy's shoulder during the Half-Time Report. Following this, Andy briefly popped up behind a guest, vacant-eyed, with the hammer! Like with Rachel, no one seems to notice.
    • Andy later quipped that he was unphased by her because she was only the second scariest Rachel he'd ever met(a Take That to former panelist Rachel Marsden).
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Despite all the ribbing that goes on in the show, the main trio are all good friends in real life. In fact, it was Greg who got Bill on the show in the first place.
  • Volleying Insults: When appearing together, Dana Vachon and Jesse Joyce often engage in the greatest insult battles ever recorded.
  • Would Make Vicious Jokes About Children: One episode consists of a Running Gag about regular panelist Mike Baker's children. His ugly, racist children.
  • You Keep Using That Word:
    • Played with by guest Halftime Reporter Dan Bova.
    Dan: "Finally, I don't see what the big deal is about waterboarding. I took my family to the Bahamas, we went waterboarding, it was great."
    Greg: "Dan, that's boogieboarding."
    Dan: "Oh." [beat] "Well, I tried to drown my children, does that count?"
  • Your Head Asplode: This is apparently what happens when you pirate Music/Gwar music.
    Greg: "Where does GWAR stand on people who illegally download GWAR songs?"