Darth Wiki / Useless Notes

Useless Notes on a variety of subjects.

The purpose of these is three-fold:
  1. To enforce, or even top, common media stereotypes.
  2. To base silly facts from tropes on this site.
  3. There is no three.
  4. To play around with Hollywood History, Hollywood Science, and other such tropes.
  5. To just have fun.

This doesn't mean you just post any random fact. Since this is a site about tropes, please try to keep any of these notes related to a trope or established page here. Also, unless it's based on Vulgar Humor or any related trope, let's keep the vulgarity to a minimum, please.

Compare Things We Have Learnt from Media, only that is what media has taught us, while this is things we are trying to teach others, sort of.

Contrast Useful Notes.
Categories:

    open/close all folders 

    Medicine & Psychology 

    Religion 

    Music 

    Military & Warfare 

    Astronomy 

    Meteorology 

    Paleontology 
  • Dinosaurs are not extinct and are, oddly enough, often found on remote tropical islands or hidden tropical lands found only in the most remote parts of the South Pole.
    • They also hang around in swamps near volcanoes a lot.
    • As well as in great subterranean lands, deep underneath the earth.
  • Dragons and dinosaurs are the same thing. Some dinosaurs were actually able to breathe fire.
  • Dinosaurs were alive at the same time as Woolly Mammoths, Sabre-tooth Tigers, and of course, humans. Though this does go without saying, since they're still not extinct everywhere in the world. This makes The Flintstones much more scientifically accurate than scientists want you to believe.
  • Cavemen hunted dinosaurs, during the age of the dinosaurs the world was covered in deserts, jungles and swamps, pterosaurs are actually all flying dinosaurs called pterodactyls and were all a cross between a Pteranodon and Rhamphorhynchus, Velociraptors were six feet tall with no feathers, and the dinosaurs lived one million years ago.
  • Many dinosaurs survived extinction by migrating into The Great Valley.
  • Evolution occurs when an animal reaches a new Power Level, causing it to instantly morph into a completely different species.
  • If you were to go back in time to the dinosaur age, you would only see famous dinosaurs. You wouldn't see anything that hasn't been discovered as a fossil yet.
  • Human meat is apparently like cat nip to Tyrannosaurs. Whenever they meet time traveling humans or are cloned in modern times, they're likely to pass up even a Triceratops carcass just to chase and devour a human.
  • Mammals survived the asteroid impact 65 million years ago by hiding inside Tyrannosaur skulls, so that millions of years later their descendants could depict them dramatically climbing out at the end of their dinosaur documentaries.
  • All feathered dinosaurs lived in China
  • Cars with stone wheels can run on foot power. Just don't buy the ribs.
  • "Open the door get on the floor/Everybody walk the dinosaur"
  • After the end of the dinosaur age, there was no life on Earth for almost 65 million years, until the ice age began and humans, woolly mammoths and saber-toothed tigers suddenly appeared.

    Biology 

    Other Sciences 

    Culture & People 

    Safety 

    Geography 

    History 

     Sports 

    Philosophy 

    Sexuality 

    Technology 
  • When switching between TV channels, a static is briefly seen.
  • Modern video games still sound just like arcade games from the early 80's.
  • All factories have zigzag roofs and at least one big chimney.
  • Boats and ships which are dry below the water level cannot be piloted as boats and ships which can be piloted, don't have any space below the water level.
  • You can do anything with a computer as long as you type really really fast.
  • 1.21 Gigawatts of plutonium is enough to send a car 30 years into the past if it is driving at 88 MPH and gets struck by lightning.
  • The newest piece of technology, whether it be an iphone, computer, TV or game console, will be in style forever and will not ever be replaced by a newer model. So you should always buy the newest thing.
  • VHS tapes had a horrible, grainy picture quality that you could barely see, and got warped if you so much as breathed on them wrong. None of them are playable today. DVDs were a million times better, but also have a horrible picture quality when compared to Blu-Ray, which has a better picture quality than reality itself.
  • Similarly, audio cassettes would get eaten up the moment you placed them in a cassette deck and pressed play, spewing tape everywhere. CDs were better, but became unplayable the moment they got the slightest smudge on them. MP3s are the only worthwhile way to listen to music, they'll never come out with another music format.
  • The Sega Genesis had Blast Processing, and did what Nintendon't.
  • Video games directly influence young people's behavior. So while playing fighting games and first-person shooters can turn children and teens into homicidal maniacs, platformers like Sonic the Hedgehog and Super Mario cause them to jump on people's heads, or consume potentially poisonous mushrooms/obsessively collect gold rings, which is almost as bad. For this reason, video games are evil.
    • The obesity epidemic can be traced back to people mimicking the behavior of Pac-Man, and later Kirby.
  • Only hipsters use technology more than two years old. What losers.

    Other 
  • A general rule of thumb: you must consume escapist fiction religiously. They will give you a lot of great insight about how the real world works.
  • Large amounts of money are stored inside sacks with a $ sign on it.
    • And carried around by fat men in top hats and suits with dollar sign patterned ties.
  • The only way to win the game is to kill everyone else, while not thinking about it.
  • Throwing something makes a 'whoosh' sound.
  • There is no such thing as tasteful fan fiction or fan art. All fan art is porn or bikini shots (even men, because screw it), and all fan fiction is shipping, also porn or unbearable Mary Sue self-insert canon-mangling garbage. It is impossible to write a fan fiction piece that actually investigates the concept of the show and does something clever with it, and if you say you have you're just covering up what you wrote in one of the above genres.
    • DeviantArt is filled with this and nothing else. It's not an art gallery at all, and all its central twenty categories are labelled 'Fan Art' except for the one labelled 'Porn'.
  • Whenever the priests at a wedding asks someone to "speak now or forever hold your peace", the bride's ex-boyfriend will crash the wedding and the bride will run off with them.
  • "It's "Faaaaaaaahn-DAAAAAAAAAHHHHHN-goooooohhhhh..."
  • "MMMIIIISSSSTERRR KKKKKEEEEENNNNNNEEEEEDDDDYYY!"
    • ...Kennedy!
  • Injecting obscure quotes into any situation is hilarious.
  • Pro Wrestling is totally real! So real! None of it is fake! None of it ever could be faked!
  • Champagne corks make perfectly elastic collisions with any hard surface and never lose momentum until they hit either the villain or the Butt Monkey.
    • A champagne cork fired from a bottle can and indeed will knock someone out, regardless of how much or little you shake it beforehand.
  • Killing the last of a species in existence is perfectly okay.
  • Skill is a quantum phenomenon, much like particle energy. Skill and strength are acquired in discrete packets every time a certain milestone in training is reached, and then another distinct milestone must be passed for more strength to be supplied.
  • If a work's title contains a number, it is always that number sequel in the series (If you don't watch Friday the First through Twelfth you'll be completely lost).

Alternative Title(s): Useful Notes

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/DarthWiki/UselessNotes