Villain Critique Thread (Because Its About Damn Time!)

How about my avatar?

Name: Kojin-no-Mikaboshi

Age: Chronologically 54, but biologically around his early thirties and getting younger until he'll be as fit as a twenty-something.

Personality: Kind, funny, and friendly, but more than a little manic and obsessed with SCIENCE! He is also a Spear Counterpart to the Motherly Scientist and greatly values his creations...so long as they have a soul. If not, they aren't really sapient, so screw 'em. He can also be rather vain and condescending when it comes to the "hypocrisy" of most moral systems, believing fully in the Social Darwinist Law of Cecelyne, but also thinking the strong have a duty to protect the weak-his definition of "charity". He does not think this is hypocritical, particularly given how one of his Berserk Buttons is discrimination, since it is pointless as it does not actually relate to strength and cunning, the only true gradation of quality. He despises pointless cruelty and (unknowing) hypocrisy over all else, which is why he detests most of the Celestial Bureaucracy, seeing in them the same exact behaviors that lead to the fall of the Primordials, but believing they are somehow morally superior.

Abilities: As a Defiler Caste Infernal, favoring Kimbery, he possesses powerful Psychic Powers, particularly Mind Control, and Hollow Mind Possession. With Kimbery's power, he is naturally amphibious and hydrokinetic as well, having long since internalized the Intolerable Burning Truths that make him immune to unnatural mental influence that would make him betray his family or True Companions. More importantly, he is a medical genius and Evilutionary Biologist extraordinaire with a brilliant grasp of tactics, survival strategies, and nigh-endless supply of minions, both the demons he summons and what he brews in his labs. Also, he has a modified Hellstrider, Penemue (which is also his Number Two, being fully sapient and quite capable of her own strategic decisions, thank you).

Weaknesses: He's pretty crappy when it comes to fighting himself, preferring to remain safely in Penemue's cockpit, as impractical as that often is. What's more, he also has a well-hidden guilt complex and PTSD, as well as a general phobia of The Undead. He also has a lot of longing to see his estranged daughter again, who he hasn't even heard of since she was four.

Goals: Biomod humanity into a form that does not need the Exalted or gods to protect them, at least not completely. He used to do this to protect them from the Reclamation, but he has since come to believe that's a pipe dream of the Yozis, born from gnawing on their own arms too long. After he's done that, he's entertained the idea of repairing the minds of the Yozis, but that can wait.

Motivation: Pure philanthropy. There is no real reason why he feels he must do this other than Good Feels Good. Yes, one could argue long and hard about his need to atone for his "cowardice", or humanity's right to self-determine, but really, he understands perfectly well that, in his ideal world, humanity will not need Exalted like him. He is willing to make that sacrifice, if it means a brighter future for all. Really, the only reason he helps demons at all is because he does not have Offscreen Villain Dark Matter, he needs money and resources, and he hates gods for being utter hypocrites in his view.

Backstory: It's long. Basically, he used to be a Combat Medic attached to Lookshy, but a chance encounter with a Dragonblood-targeting zombie virus the Dowager was working on destroyed his military company and forcing him and the other mortals to contain their former leaders in cells. He ran himself ragged attempting to synthesize a cure, eventually turning to diabolism and Human Sacrifice to gain the literal millennia of medical expertise Malfeas possesses. Due to his Determinator nature and ability to throw everything away in order to save his friends and commanding officers, even his own vow against murder, he attracted the attention of a Solar Exaltation, but lost his chance when he realized he could die in adminstering the cure, leaving his daughter without a father, so went AWOL, leaving behind his notes for someone else...thereby ensuring that he would be exiled from Lookshy and never see his daughter again. This epic failure in judgement attracted his gethin Coadjutor, and he eventually became the preeminent expert on Genesis in Malfeas.

Initially an uncertain supporter of the Reclamation, he, as mentioned, has since come to realize that part of the Yozi Surrender Oaths that bind them inside Malfeas is at least partially psychological-namely, they can only be broken if the Yozis feel genuine remorse for what they did to their creations. Besides more-or-less permanently binding the Ebon Dragon, he realized that this essentially means that they are never getting out without extreme psychological changes to get around their Lack of Empathy, as well as solidifying his hatred of the gods, finally condemning them as shallow hypocrites. He has since become a Yozi Loyalist In Name Only, only completing a mission the Third Circles give him now and again to remain in his mansion in Malfeas, and for the welfare of his First Circle friends. He now seeks what was once a desperate attempt to convince himself he was still working for humanity as his Great Humanitarian Work, a massive Human Rebirth Project that will finally end the cycle of destruction that has defined Creation for so long.

And if he has to steamroll a few gods or Celestials along the way, either because they can't see his vision or because he's been ordered to and he needs the money...well, that's really a tragedy, but nothing can be done.

Role: Villain Protagonist, or perhaps Anti-Villain that the actual P Cs might eventually agree has the right idea and team up with.

Tropes (that have not already been stated): Dark Messiah, Dark Is Not Evil, Dungeon Punk, Emperor Scientist, Mad Doctor, Necessarily Evil, Only in It for the Money (when looking for resources), Sorcerous Overlord, Values Dissonance (when it comes to his demonic moral code).

edited 19th Oct '12 9:17:34 PM by Leliel

What rises must fall, what falls may rise again.

IGNORE THIS!!

edited 1st Aug '17 5:06:01 PM by Eagal

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!

He seems to lean towards a somewhat tongue-in-cheek execution, if that's what you're going for. Other than that, not a whole lot to say. I like him.

---

Alright, let's bring in Villain #2.

Name: Gus Reynolds

Age: Early 20s

Personality: For a CIA operative handpicked by Seth Williams for his counter-Resistance team, Gus is surprisingly open and amiable - actually, he's probably the kindest person in the cast. He will do pretty much anything to minimize human suffering. However, he also firmly believes the propaganda he's been force-fed since he was in diapers that if necessary, liberty should be sacrificed in the name of security - which, again, he sees as minimizing suffering. To that end, he has absolutely no qualms about executing suspected Resistance sympathizers without trial or torturing prisoners for information if he thinks it will save more lives in the long run.

Abilities: Expert marksman, calm under pressure.

Weaknesses: Principled enough to raise a fuss if he found out half of what Seth got up to while nobody was looking, naive enough to not realize exactly how badly this could bite him in the ass. Sometimes lets his emotions beat out his judgment, and rarely thinks through the long-term implications of what he's doing. Also, normally, "believes a single word that comes out of Seth's mouth" would go here, but given who we're talking about, that one applies to pretty much everyone.

Goals: Stamp out the Resistance, as well as anything that could conceivably lead to a third (the second is part of the backstory) bloody, ideologically motivated civil war. Again, doesn't really consider the implications. If you asked him, he'd phrase it as something like "Protect people by any means necessary."

Motivation: See Personality - his goals are an extension of who he is.

Role in the story: One of Those Two Bad Guys.

Backstory: Born during the second civil war, Gus had a fairly normal upbringing for a child of his generation - that is to say, he was inundated with propaganda since he was in diapers. His father was a soldier who died during the war, and his mother was hit with a stray bullet during a shootout between the Resistance and a group of federal agents. She survived, but is still in a coma. After that, Gus went through various foster homes, with his resolve to prevent the harmful ripples of political violence increasing steadily until he was old enough to begin working for the government.

Relevant Tropes: Anti-Villain (Type III-IV), Affably Evil, Improbable Aiming Skills, Mook Lieutenant, Well-Intentioned Extremist

edited 20th Oct '12 1:54:49 AM by KyleJacobs

@Mac Nasty

The glass orb interacts with the world by manipulating the alloy around it forming a body. It can also ionize the air underneath it to float and move around if it needs to. Here is a picture of What Slasher 2 would like like with his metal body - -

@Kyle Jacobs

He sounds like a character that the heroes could turn or possibly become a threat to everyone as he begins to realize that he was wrong and tries to correct it.

edited 20th Oct '12 3:54:48 PM by Philosopher

It comes. The corrupter comes. Don't let it touch the tower lest all reality crumble.

As to your villain, a Cold Sniper? I ask because of the whole master marksman thing. Kinda imagining him as a very serious individual, though it conflicts with the open and amiable bit.

I think I'll leave posting another villain till a few others have gone. Don't want to monopolize the thread. :)

edited 21st Aug '14 10:33:47 AM by Eagal

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!

Name: Cain Stellark

Age: 22 in the beginning of the story, turns 23 after Arc 1.

Personality: Stoic, cold, calculating, and sarcastic. At his worst, he can be cruel and sadistic, but his intelligence and Genre Savviness keep his darker urges in check. He's quite ambitious, paranoid, manipulative, somewhat perceptive, and rather lacking in empathy (but not incapable of it—he's NOT a sociopath, just a douchebag). At his best, he's very capable of real kindness, especially towards his Morality Pet and The Dragon, Haruka Murakami. At the height of his dere-dere moods, one can find out that he's actually rather dorky. He acts more gruff towards the people who work under him, but otherwise gentle.*

Generally he's just stoic, cold and sarcastic, but he as somewhat of a good heart underneath. I wouldn't say he's misunderstood, but a lot more complex than simple stoicness and sociopathic traits.

Abilities: He's the most powerful mage born in the last 200 years, with a score of 987/1000. However, his talents are focused on the Dark Arts—necromancy, blood magic, affiliation with dark eldritch entities, along with Ice-based, Air-based and shadow-based magic*

, and vast healing skills.*

He was apprenticed to a healer.

He can also use mind-control and even possess people.*

Although the latter really takes it out of him.

However, due to his near Game-breaker power, he's not limited to his talents, and can basically do whatever magic can do as long as he knows how to do it.*

Whether or not that means causing a nuclear holocaust or encouraging a plant to grow, although the latter would be more difficult because his abilities and life do not mix well.

Weaknesses/Flaws: He lacks a lot of empathy, and doesn't show it to others save for a select few. He is very conceited and tend to elevate himself over others; he does not like to cooperate with people, especially if he has a low opinion of them. He'll put aside his arrogance if he needs something from a person. He does not tend to socialize with people. All of these factors tend to make him far more enemies than friends. If you simplify things, his two major vices are Pride and Wrath.

Goals: At the heart, he just wants to live with Haruka and his family peacefully, but it's compounded by his megalomania and paranoia. Thus, he strives to manipulate the political scene to his own ends, both to satisfy his ambition and to get rid of any potential enemies.

Motivation: Paranoia, mostly at more powerful factions who could turn him into their own slave—he got a taste of that in his youth, and didn't like it. Just as much as his paranoia, his ambition drives him to act. He wants to avoid the bondage that plagued him after his apprenticeship like the...plague.

Role in the story: Anti-Villain and deuteragonist of the story. Eventually joins the heroes in a case of Enemy Mine. Grows to somewhat care about the heroes, as his icy exterior softens up.

Backstory: Born to a rich, influential mage family known for their ambition to parents Franklin Stellark and Jamilah Shirazi. When Cain was six, Jamilah died, leaving her husband a widower. In deep grief, Franklin neglected his son, leaving him at the mercy of Jamilah's younger brother, who physically and emotionally abused the boy. Cain's uncle exploited the young boy's abilities, eventually Corrupting the boy himself. Three years later, after an incident where Cain had to go to the hospital, his father lost custody of Cain and he was bound in an apprenticeship to a great healer after some arrangements were made. His Corruption was purged, he had a good life, until his apprenticeship was up, and he was taken in under the wing of the Big Bad, where he was forced to obey all his commands via a kind of Mind Control. One day, during a Resurrection ritual, he finds Haruka (who isn't dead), and a strong, psychic link was accidentally established. This enabled him to be able to free himself from bondage, and they escaped.

Relevant tropes: Tsundere, Sugar-and-Ice Personality, Jerk with a Heart of Gold, He Who Fights Monsters, Noble Demon, The Woobie, Well-Intentioned Extremist and several other more I can't think of.

I'm very positive I've missed a lot of things and the Backstory's pretty abridged. In fact, reading this makes him look very unimaginative. Oh well.

edited 21st Oct '12 1:31:46 PM by Tehpillowstar

"Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight." - R. W. Raymond

Remember to comment on the guy above you before posting your own villain.

In any case, I kind of like this guy. He's a fairly solid character, and he kind of reminds me of my own villain.

One thing I would suggest though, is that you should work out why he feels empathy for some people, and not for others. In Real Life, sociopaths lack empathy full stop. It's not something they can just turn on and off, it simply does not exist for them. And at the moment it looks like your just tacking on a Pet the Dog trait.

edited 21st Oct '12 4:45:18 AM by Lunacorva

I actually like Cain, although I have to also agree with what Luna said; in reality sociopaths don't have empathy. It doesn't exist for them.

I'll give this a try.

Name: Richard Smith

Age: 47

Personality: In his free time, Richard is a man who loves to chat, make jokes, and share some wine, even to his enemies. He also likes to play a game of cards from time to time. However, because of his invention and what it does to people (see below), most of his friendly behavior is a facade.

Abilities: While he doesn't have any powers, he does have a device named "Hazel"- a collar that, once on a person, makes them submit to his control, obeying his every command, regardless of what it is.

Weaknesses: Because he isn't much of a fighter, and often depends on mind controlling people, if he loses control, or-even worse-his machine breaks, he is powerless.

Goals: To hunt down Thomas (The Hero's father) and bring him to Xavier by any means necessary.

Motivation: To maintain his status as a top Chaos member, and to stay in control of other people.

Role in the story: Second-To-Last villain in The Chaos.

Backstory: (Abridged version) After graduating from Harvard, Richard went to continue his job as a scientist. It was around this time that he made Hazel, named after his young sister. He tested it on a ten-year-old boy, and was surprised at how he quickly he succumbed to his command...yet was pleased that he now had the power to control other people. Several years later, Xavier wants revenge on Thomas, who he believed was responsible for a fire that killed his wife and daughters. Hearing this, he decided to help the man get his revenge, and after showing his useful ability, becomes his right hand man. He has since spent the last few years trying to find the wanted man, all while getting new "recruits".

Relevant Tropes: Faux Affably Evil, Charm Person, Bitch in Sheep's Clothing and The Dragon.

Gah, I'm bad at backstories. DX

edited 21st Oct '12 8:50:44 AM by Masterofchaos

Wow, that's pretty nice right there. I really like it. Also, does Richard have any way to defend himself in case if his mind control devices break? Or at least he wears running shoes so he can flee in a hurry?

---

Yikes, I only managed to get back to a computer right about now.

Only a little bit after posting did I realized that I kinda Flanderized his character a bit badly, say, as above, making him look more like a bad guy with tacked-on Pet the Dog moments than a douchebag with in reality isn't that bad of a guy.

He's NOT a sociopath, I've researched enough about sociopaths to know that they don't have a wit of empathy, and any that they show is just a fascade.

It's my fault though, I should of been more specific about it. I did edit my post, BTW.

edited 21st Oct '12 1:34:23 PM by Tehpillowstar

"Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight." - R. W. Raymond

Glad you like him! And yes, he does have a form of escaping in case things go wrong.

About Cain: It's okay, I still like your villain. :D

IGNORE THIS!!

edited 1st Aug '17 5:06:24 PM by Eagal

You fell victim to one of the classic blunders!

Well, he sounds terrifying. A mute psycho coming after you, hunting you, is the stuff of nightmares.

Very good villain, any face off with him should prove to be very epic.

Name: Caine Erligor

Age: 17. His young age is actually a plot point at a certain time.

Personality: Caine is a dangerous and savvy, ruthless villain who seems to believe he is the only "real" person out there, on some level. He also seems to think of the world as if its a tv show. He seems to be subservient to Elijah Gibbs, the Big Bad The Man Behind the Curtain, but only because he's convenient. Caine has Dissonant Serenity going for him, he never gets angry, and he's always got this rather creepy little smirk on his face. Due to a brain tumor badly removed as a child, his emotions are...not all there. He seems to really like Matthew, to very frightening extents. He seems to think of himself as very similar to fictional characters. He has a poor sense of keeping reality and fiction separated.

Abilities: Caine wears a suit of Powered Armor rather like Matthew's, except while Matthew's is the 317th's Golden Commander Armor, Caine's is made of the Abaddon, an old machine, melted down into a suit, and is pitch black. He has an artificial right arm that looks like a lot of cables attached to a scary clawed hand, each finger ending in a sickle-like blade. His left hand holds a reforged version of an earlier villain's sword, and now has a chain-blade added on. He has two more arms he can activate, attached to his shoulders, each ending in more claws. His Spell Core is "Aria of Apep", which lets him: throw around black flames, attack people's minds, teleport things, look like other people, and command the fearsome "Old World Demons".

Weaknesses: His own craziness and need to inflict pain to prove his existence tend to fuck up his own schemes. Then there's how he just plain cannot comprehend friendship, or any meaningful bond. He also has a tendency to mistreat his underlings.

Goals: He has suffered some severe Motive Decay. He knows it. At first, he wanted to take over the world for his "True Masters". This faded, and he became devoted to forcing the Masquerade down to make a Genre Shift in his show to Warhammer-esque levels. Then he wants to rule the world because he feels entitled as he's "the only real one".

Motivation: He cannot accept a world that caused his mother to call him Cain, that caused her so much pain that she became abusive to him (she is a major Jerkass Woobie). He also has a consuming hatred for the people around him, being unable to see them as anything but Uncanny Valley "show-humans", in his words. He wants to escape the "show world", but also wants to discover if his mother is real or not. But, as covered, his motives have decayed drastically, not many people can say what he really wants.

Role in the story: The Dragon / Dragon with an Agenda / very odd Woobie Destroyer Of Worlds

Backstory: We know very little about him. His backstory is fleshed out through the next three books. The first two establish how horrible his life has been.

Relevant Tropes:

• Badass: Despite being crazy, he is a very strong fighter, and has a lot of victories to his name.
• Berserk Button: Go on. Suggest there's other real humans. See how long you last.
• Expy: A trope he tries to invoke on himself. He tries to paint himself as Horus, Griffith, and everything and anything to "make sense to him", as one psychologist says.
• Madness Mantra: "Gonna kill you all...gonna kill you all...gonna kill you all..." and the below quote.
• Misanthrope Supreme: Direct Quote: "If...this is the real world...then I hate everyone. Everyone here is just a nasty piece of shit. Except...my Matthew. My Angel. My Paragon. My Angel. My Paragon...MINEMINEMINEMINEMINE!!!"
• Put Them All Out of My Misery: At one point. He abandons this fairly quickly.
• Sanity Slippage: He gets even crazier over the books. To put it in perspective, he's at least coherent when we first meet him. At the end, he's just crying and wailing as he tries to kill Matthew.
• The Sociopath: Faking it. He acts like this once in a while.

edited 22nd Oct '12 9:52:57 PM by NickTheSwing

Sign on for this After The End Fantasy RP.

While you did bring up that age is a plot point, I don't find it too believable that a 17 year old would be like that. Caine's motivation also sounds pretty iffy. It can work, just needs some good ol' execution.

My name is darthnazgul and TV Tropes has ruined my life.

The age is a plot point because someone lets him go on account of his age, for the exact reason you just posted.

His motives will also be suitably expanded upon.

Sign on for this After The End Fantasy RP.

Hilariously enough, your villain has the same name as my villain, except your's has an "E" at the end...sorta like my Real Life name...

"Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight." - R. W. Raymond

Okay, how about one of the Evil Counterparts to the Mane 6 for s Crossover Fic with the New World Of Darkness I may do.

Name: "Skull Bulge" (really, Jack Beaufort Nimble-get it?)

Age: 26, later 27 in the story.

Personality: He's a slasher, so Ax-Crazy is a given. More importantly, he's psychotically jealous of ponies, especially unicorns, due to his...unique appearance and his unicorn pathetic excuse for a mother. His MO is generally to kidnap ponies and mutilate them so that their special talent becomes impossible, then puts them under a memory spell before tossing them out to flounder, stalking them to see if they cross the Despair Event Horizon or not. Those that do are left alone, but the ones who manage to pull themselves together quickly arose his ire for "not understanding the lesson" and he actually murders them. He also has a bit of a victim complex and megalomania, enjoying ranting about how much he's going to hurt his victim, knowing the memory will be suppressed.

Abilities: Besides being a Stealth Expert and Knife Nut, Skull Bulge is also a Genius Bruiser capable of waiting weeks to carry out an abduction-and-mutilation if necessary, and unlike many slashers, he isn't adverse to taking up mercenary work, so he's often found working with reinforcements. What's more, he's also a mule, combining both the strength-and more importantly, speed-of his donkey father with the Magic Knight abilities of his mother-the distinctive structure that got him his nickname is actually the beginnings of a horn, and its functional enough to throw Bullet Hell at a second's notice.

Weaknesses: Remember what we said about him being psychotically jealous? It affects his MO too-if faced with two perfectly valid targets, one of which is a unicorn, he'll pick the unicorn every time, even if they're more visible. More importantly, he's really, really touchy about his face-mock him or point out that the small size of his horn impedes his magic, and he'll lose all composure and lash out at you immediately, uncaring of his normal strategy or tactics. This is not a smart plan.

Goals: Travel the world, meet new ponies, and then mutilate them, perhaps kill, hopefully while leaving as little evidence as possible behind.

Motivation: Making the world suffer as much as he did, trying to deal with a combination of Fantastic Racism and, as his mother ingrained into him, "a worthless excuse for magic". He does this by forcing ponies with cutie marks he can easily affect (gouging an artist's eyes out, lopping off a unicorn scholar's horn, cutting off a wing), to understand what life without their "special talents" is like, and subconsciously to vent his rage at his mother and old classmates who bullied him.

Role in the story: Serves as the impetus for Rainbow Dash to be picked up by the Chireon Group, after he grabs her and takes her left wing, causing her to sign up in return for Wing of Glory. He later becomes The Brute to the Lumen of At'Enar, who let him indulge his psychosis to create crises for them to solve...thus generating hope for their Ba'Ke to feed on.

Backstory: Born out of wedlock to a borderline, hateful mess of a mare, a combination of her drug habits and magic overuse caused the genetic cascades that would normally decide if he was born a mule or a unicorn to both activate, causing him to be born as...both. Constantly faced with evidence of how horrible and careless a pony she was, his mom decided to assign all that had gone wrong with her life on him, treating the young Jack horribly. This, combined with brutal teasing about his "wannabe horn" and "talentless" (because, as a creature more mule than unicorn, he couldn't have a cutie mark) from his classmates, caused him to develop a lot of resentment and anger at the world around him. Eventually, in his teenage years, he snapped at a bully and accidentally discovered how good his "wannabe horn" was for forming magic "force blades" that could slice through a pony. Rather than being horrified, he find he quite liked this new power, and, after killing his mother, decided he'd show the world just what it was like to be "talentless".

Relevant Tropes: Bad Powers, Bad People (not quite-those mind-knives he creates could easily be used for more productive things, he just doesn't care enough to bother subverting the trope), Evil Counterpart (to Rainbow Dash-whereas she breaks her back night and day to achieve her dreams, his is to tear down others), Knight Of Cerberus (his appearence in the story marks a full shift from merely creepy to full-on Gothic Punk / Urban Fantasy) Psychopathic Manchild (ultimately, though, he's still that child angry at the world for the way he looks).

What rises must fall, what falls may rise again.

Mod edit incoming:

Look. This is from the actual Holler page:

OK, so maybe I'm undermining that by actually doing something about this multi-post, but I'm only doing it this once. And I'm making this post stand out so people see it. (Not that the notice on the Holler page is particularly small or hidden.)

edited 24th Oct '12 8:55:37 PM by BestOf

What rises must fall, what falls may rise again.

edited 24th Oct '12 8:53:41 PM by BestOf

What rises must fall, what falls may rise again.

@ Nick The Swing: Sounds like a very delusional and creepy guy. I didn't really understand the context of the powers, though.

Name: unknown

Age: from teenager to old man

Personality: The Determinator. He suffers from Mood Whiplash in that he can be really kind and compassionate to those he loves and/or respects, but will kill anyone who crosses him. And gleefully, ruthlessly destroy anyone who hurts his consort or (grand)children. He rarely ever loses his cool, but when he does, he is High Octane Nightmare Fuel incarnate. He is sort of an odd example of the Social Darwinist; he believes that "only the strong survive", but defines "strong" not as the "ability to survive", but as the "will to survive". He is also a very intelligent Dangerously Genre-Savvy Magnificent Bastard on par with Light, Lelouch, Aizen, or David Xanatos.

Abilities: He has the ability to physically manifest his "will" (whether that be the "will to live", "will to protect", or "will to kill"). As long as the "manifestation of his will" exists, his physical body cannot be harmed. Essentially, he turns being The Determinator into a superpower. He also has the ability to pass this power onto his descendants and give it permanently to others.

Weaknesses: Because his power comes from his "will", if he ever doubts himself he'll get weaker, and if he ever loses the will to live he will die immediately. Also, he temporarily automatically gives the same power to anyone in close proximity to him, whether they be friend or foe, so if he ever meets someone who is more determined then him, he will be Hoist by His Own Petard.

Goals: To destroy the world. And he (or rather, his children/grandchildren) actually succeeds. It got better, though.

Motivation: He was born a Muggle and lives in a Crapsack World where superpowered demi-gods and their armies/kingdoms take advantage of Muggles. They run protection rackets, pretending to be heroes who protect people from ogres when in fact they control the ogres and send them to ravage towns and kill people who displease them. They pretty much do whatever they want. He wants to change that, even if it means fighting against the gods and Fate itself. His enemies range from expies of Griffith to a literal Deus ex Machina.

Story Role: Initially the seldom seen Big Bad, but after he meets The Narrator and converts her to his side, she retroactively re-tells the story after the world is re-made to include his side of it and makes him the Hero Protagonist.

Backstory: He was born as a paraplegic in a Low Fantasy setting, in a geographical region of the world known as the Crevasse, which is a really, really, really deep gorge where dragons and other nasty beasts live. He made it all the way to the bottom where he made a deal with the exiled, imprisoned "force" of Will (imprisoned by the aforementioned Deus ex Machina who uses Fate to dominate the world in its absence), for it to give him power in exchange for promising to release him. He then takes over a kingdom from within and defeats others to become an Evil Overlord.

Relevant Tropes: Noble Demon, The Extremist Was Right, Obfuscating Stupidity, Refuge in Audacity, Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?

edited 21st Apr '13 6:26:21 PM by shiro_okami

I will call this unknown name guy Bob. I did not like his powers at first, but then I saw his weaknesses, and they are really cool. Your idea for him converting the narrator is pretty cool, somewhat similar to something of mine. You should design situations for his Magnificent Bastard-iness to shine. The focus on Willpower is interesting, something that should be explored with the heroes.

Name: Scaebious

Age: Aprox. 70, 30-40 in human years

Personality: Cold, manipulative. Despite being an Omnicidal Maniac, is very good at empathy, which he uses to manipulate other's emotions.

Abilities: in addition to being a moderately powerful sorcerer, is an adept swordsman. Has bracers that can control Atherites, hive-minded minions.

Weaknesses: physically weak, and also prone to killing those who he probably does not need to. Not really good at blending in, either.

Goals: Use Ardesiél, a Mayincatec Humongous Mecha to destroy all civilizations, in order for the world to be remade.

Motivation: Has taken from myth that his race, the Umber Shades, has been forsaken by their god, and the gods new chosen race, man, is not worthy. So he wants to correct that.

Role in the story: Mostly goes around in the story collecting artifacts, while setting up obstacles for the main characters to slow them down. Doesn't really work. Near the end, talks the main character when alone into giving him what are basically the keys to Ardesiél, appealing to his hunger for glory.

Backstory: Was an umber shade. He was visiting a human town with his tribe, when there was a riot started by a radical priest, provoking violence against umber shades. He was caught, and his itzon, hair-like tentacles, were lopped off. Itzon has religious and physical significance, and is roughly equivalent to cutting off your nose, ears, fingertips, followed by circumcision.

Relevant Tropes: Names to Run Away from Really Fast, Omnicidal Maniac, From Nobody to Nightmare, Evil Cripple,Magic Knight, Dual Wielding (Sword and staff, Gandalf-style)

edited 27th Oct '12 4:22:04 PM by Ninjaxenomorph

Me and my friend's collaborative webcomic: Forged Men

Name: Archibald Richt, Grandmaster of the Guild

Age: 87( albeit heavly augmented as such he keeps his form)

Personality:Cold, very strict, Determinator, when it comes to his servants he liks to be around thouse who he considers worst type mainly because he thinks that by that they will die quicker and this be good for the world , when it comes to smarter, and nicer ones he tends to have a softer side for them , also slightly mad( not gibbering type)

Ablities: He is heavly augmented, but his main power comes from the fact that he is leader of organization that supplies every weapone , machine, and armore, to the army of one of the biggest empires of the world as such he is the only one who can have something , to say that matters in country that is basicly ruled by autooritharian/benelovent dictaroship of one emperor

weakness: he is old, and sick as such he lives only thanks to his augments.

Goals:Cause the new war between four biggest countries in the world.

Motivation:He is mad , explained in backstory.

Role in the story: one of the more important villanes, who causes much problems for the heroes( It is hard to say because rather than one long story, my plan for story is bassicly diffrent adventures of diffrent people with diffrent villianes in the same steampunk world, he is basicly the one who appeares often and has clear motive, rather than being mad, being a Anti Villain with good motives,being blue and orange morality abomination, being pernamantly enigmatic.)

Backstory: He was as a orphan his fammily ,was poor and pathologic and his father was soldier and adicted to painkillers, while he was inteligent, all his reletive diead because of the plauge that attacked the capital of the empire, as such he suffering on the same disises, that caused his parents to die, and knowing that he will soon die he was sent to live in an orphanage, and as every orphan living close to the guild he was sent there, to work, there he impressed some of the guild members, and they decided that he is to smart as such he was quite popular, and was offered, the chance to become a member of the guild rather than simply a worker, hovere his sickness was starting to get stronger, and it was unlikly that he will surive more than few more weeks. At the same time Empire, was at long war with his greatest adversere Dominion of king war was has ended but at its finnaly there was big technological boom that allowed easer access to augments, that worked better, and medicine for his disese, this allowed him to survive and become a guild member, for a cost, he was already slighlty mad, but now he had reasons, for his madness, when war ended most of funds for new medicne, and augments were cut , because empire didnt need much more weapone at time of peace, few more things happen that make him belive that war is good, war brings new technology that can helo people and for a small cost of few dumb , and brutal people that will die, because he was very inteligent and clever, he quickly stared climbing ladder and with few dirty tricks he became the most powerfull person in the country after Emperor himselfe

relevent tropes: Evil Visire,( not officially but he have such power), From Nobody to Nightmare, Evil Cripple, Well-Intentioned Extremist, The Man Behind the Man ( behind many manes , and there is still someone behind him )and some more

• Name: Not known for now
• Age: About 25ish to early 30's
• Personality: Quite intelligent and educated, he is often able to remain level headed in difficult situations. He prefers to not get his hands dirty unless it is neccesary. He has little patience for stupid people. Although he seems somewhat likeable at first, he actually has alot of sociopathic tendicies and is willing to do anything to his benefit.
• Abilities: Is intelligent and quite educated in a world where only the wealthy can read. Is skilled at both magic and necromancy.
• Weaknesses: As previously stated, has little patience for stupid people. And in the slight chance you get him angry he will go completely batshit.
• Goals: He tries to get his sister to join the dark side with him.
• Motivation: He worked on the good guy's side for a while, but realized they seemed to have little chance of winning so he pulled a Face–Heel Turn. He has a quite comfortable living in the Evil Empire and doesn't want to risk 'the heroes' from destroying it.
• Story Role: He is one of the top in command with the necromancers, also creates conflict with his sister who is a main character. Also works as a [[Foil]] for some of the other 'intelligent with stunted emotions' characters in the story.
• Backstory: Was raised by a well-off family to be a scribe. After an attack on their town by the necromancers, he felt like their side had little chance of winning the war so he pulled a Heel–Face Turn. He didn't see his sister again until years later. She was horrified, but he has since worked hard to try to get her to be on their side.
• Relevant Tropes: Neutral Evil, Faux Affably Evil, Freudian Excuse(Averted, he had a pretty nice childhood.)Functional Magic, Evil Genius, Bitch in Sheep's Clothing, Mad Scientist, Morality Pet(averted, he seems rather kind and accepting towards his sister at first, but goes Ax-Crazy on her when he realizes he can't convert her) Jerk with a Heart of Jerk, Sibling Ying Yang.

edited 27th Oct '12 3:03:59 PM by TheMuse

Wait...

Aren't we suppose to be critiquing the villians first?

Yeah, guys, if you don't critique anybody's posts there's no point to this thread.

Gave them our reactions, our explosions, all that was ours For graphs of passion and charts of stars...

That's right. If the above villain hasn't gotten any critique, then you must offer a critique before submitting your own villain. Otherwise what you see above happens, and no one gets a critique.

Ninja'd. Damn!

edited 27th Oct '12 3:27:14 PM by Ryuhza

this place needs me here