AN: Large-scale renovation in progress. Lots of cleaning, spellchecking, updating, and such to follow.
This page is ALWAYS under construction. Please make sure to wear your hardhat at all times, and please don't spray-paint on the walls. Seriously.
-Please watch your step-
All seriousness aside, you've stepped into Karl's Profile Page. Nice and comfy? Cool. *sits* Now, I'm supposing you want to know more about me. That's why you clicked my name, amirite?
Or maybe it was some sort of mistake. Internet browsers do that sometimes. It's cool. Just go up to the top of the page and click on the arrow that's pointing left. I won't be offended. Honest.
Still here? Wow. I...I'm flattered.
Well, for starters, I've been lurking TV Tropes for some time now, and now almost constantly think in Trope-Speak. Which is good, because I fancy myself as some kind of writer (I'm actually a faceless drone who spends a majority of his time in a cubicle maze, working for The Man). I have a few works published on Fictionpress.com. Lately, I've taken a flying leap into the world of fanfiction by writing my first My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic fanfic, Say Neigh To Zombies (which is now being read on YouTube!). I've also written a couple of more kid-friendly fic starring my Author Insert, Quilliam Bartholomew Inkwell III. Yeah, I'm a brony.
I'm also responsible for putting some other crap fiction on the internet. You can find it all on Fictionpress.com, Fanifction.net, or on my hard drive (if you’re a 1337 HAXX0r) When I'm not writing and being generally Distracted by the Shiny, I'm either reading, writing, playing videogames, watching TV, or here playing the forum games.
You can also find some more of my crap writing (as well as random thoughts and rants) on Live Journal, by the way. Won't you be my friend?
If not, I won't be offended. Honest.
This Troper contains the following Tropes:
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer ~ betterthanstrawberry
- The Cuckoo Lander Was Right - This happens during your WMG postings....- Voids Empathy
- Everything's Deader with Zombies (username and a bunch of your avatars) -Ozbourne
- Evilly Affable - It's all right that you are =) -The Eternal Void
- Gentle Giant -Milos Stefanovic
- Halloween Special: Thanks for taking part in TV Tropes "Great Trick-or-Trope Day". You can now resume eating brains. ~Dhana Ragnarok
- Achievement Earned 20pts! - Karl Kadaver
- Nice guy- You can try to deny it for whatever reason, but that's what I see you as. ~ marston
- Nightmare Fetishist - It's all your avatars. :P ~ Raineh Daze
- You think Moe-Samus is scary? This makes me sad...
- Shameless Self-Promotion - I'm guilty of it. - Karl Kadaver
- Alliterative Name
- AfraidOfNeedles/Afraid of Blood: Double Subversion. I'm not afarid of my own blood or pricking myself with a needle, but I can't stand seeing it happen to someone else.
- Apologizes Alot: Mostly in RL. I can't help it, I feel bad. Sorry.
- Arch-Enemy: Full length mirrors and reflective windows. They remind me that I walk kind of funny. This saddens me. See Cursed with Awesome, below.
- Author Appeal: Supernatural Horrors, Superheroes, Zombies, and Blondes.
- Berserk Button: I'm slow to anger, but there are certain things that really get under my skin:
- Glurge emails and any other email that can be proven false via a quick search of Snopes. I once swore at someone for forwarding an email to me that I already knew was false. At work.
- Don't ask me if I can die from a paper cut. The answer is "No."
- Rouge Angles of Satin drives me to Angrish. It's "could've," people! Not "could of!" By the Gods!
- In real life, my name is Shane. Long "A," silent "E." It's not Shawn, Seth, Steven, Sean, Dave, Henry, Shaun, or Sean.
- Bi the Way: My online persona has shades of this. Either that, or I'm just very, very friendly. Coincides with my omnipresent Viewer Gender Confusion.
- In real life, I'm 100% heterosexual.
- Blind Without 'Em: I think my vision is somewhere in the 20/900 range.
- Boisterous Bruiser: Just so people don't get confused, I'm not Keet. I'm 6'1" and 210 lbs. That's far too large to be Keet.
- Cloud Cuckoo Lander: I’m prone to this here, as well as in real life.
- Cursed with Awesome: I wear a plastic "clamshell" brace on my right leg. This renders it completely unable to bend at the knee. See Disability Superpower below for the awesome.
- Covert Pervert: Yeah, I got kinks. Problem?
- Deadpan Snarker: I can be a real Jerk Ass if someone annoys me enough. My deadpan snarkery more often tends toward very dry humor, though.
- Disability Superpower: Because of a complication from Hemophilia, I have to wear a plastic brace on my leg. I can balance things on the top of it, essentially giving me a third hand when carrying boxes and such. I also knock on the knee and freak people out.
- Sometimes I stab the knee, or jam pushpins or needles into and and really freak people out.
- Evil Laugh: I've been told that my natural laugh is like this. By children. Practice makes perfect.
- G.I.R.L.: I've been known to roleplay girls in MMOs and forum RPs. Sometimes leads to Dropped a Bridget on Him if I'm feeling particularly Lulzy.
- Headphones Equal Isolation: I do this at work. And also when I'm at home playing video games (but that's mostly so I don't bother anyone.)
- Heroes Prefer Swords: I own six! Also...
- Lurker: Just as in real life, I prefer to listen than speak, but the Internet has gotten me to open up a little more.
- Meaningful Name: 'Karl Kadaver' actually started as my handle for when I play online games. I spend more time dead than alive.
- Motifs: If there's a zombie version of a character, I'll find it and use it as an avatar.
Mega Magikarp: "...What is it with you and zombies? :P"
Karl Kadaver: "It's my thing, dude. You know, the thing that I'm known for. People see a zombie and they think, 'Hey, it's Karl. Let's all avoid him.' You know?"
- Or My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic avatars (tending toward ‘scary’).
- Neutral Good: My alignment is typically this in Real Life. My Online personal tends to be more Chaotic Neutral or Chaotic Good.
- Nightmare Fetishist: I love playing a good survival horror game with the lights off and the headphones on. I also get a small rush from Screamers.
- Not a Morning Person: Thinking's not exactly my strong suit in the morning. Neither is speaking. Or standing up straight. Or much of anything...
- Old Shame: I used to write terrible fanfiction for a certain anime which shall remain nameless. The site that hosted it has long since been taken down by the host.
- Self-Deprecation: I tend to slip into this to help others feel better about themselves. I actually have very low self-esteem in RL. I mask my pain with laughter.
- Shrinking Violet: What's the Spear Counterpart of this trope? Lurker? Loners Are Freaks?
- Sliding Scale Of Anti Heroes: I'm firmly a Type I.
- Verbal Tic: In real life, I tend to begin a statement with "I was about to say..." I know how stupid it sounds, but I can't stop myself. *shrug*
- Wild Mass Guessing: One of my favorite pasttimes. I've made some doosies.
- Younger Than They Look: I've been mistaken for someone in their 30's or 40's. Must be my Bald of Awesome. And my height. And my goatee.
Things I Like
- Guilty Gear
- The Legend Of Zelda
- Dynasty Warriors
- Samurai Warriors
- Batman Arkham Asylum
- Mass Effect
- Bio Shock
- Shadow Of The Colossus
- Mega Man/Mega Man X (Same continuity, as far as this troper is concerned.)
- Mario Party
- Super Mario Bros.
- League Of Legends
- Resident Evil
- Star Craft
I'm currently looking for other good fanfiction to read. Suggest something! Please?
Remember kiddos, just because it's not listed here, it doesn't mean I don't like it. I'm very open-minded. More than likely, I simply forgot to type it in.
- POW! Haha! —the first vandal :D
- MUAHAHAHA! —the second vandal >:D
- Hehehehe...MWHAHAHAHAHA! —the third vandal >:D
- Ahahah!Ah-haha-ha-ha! I'm confused....Why are we laughing?????- the 4th vandal who is confused at the moment...
- -sets your awesome page on fire- :P —a new vandal who doesn't care what number she is
- Returning the favor. — StrangeDwarf
- Ay, alliteration is awesome, ain't it? —The Troper That Tells Tales Titled Tre
- Speaking of letters, kan you konsider yourself a kantankerous fan of Mortal Kombat? Because that's what your name reminds me of. — Tre Again.
- I'm here and I have no cookies. This is saddening. emeriin
- Nice interests, great tropes, delicious cookies and a sweet lair. Is there anything you can't do? Hint: Fly.
- *Spraypaints "RAYNUH WUZ HEER" on the wall, before adding a crude image underneath* What? You didn't mean real vandalism? Well you coulda told- Wait. Are those sirens in the background? -RenaTheArchmage (Arrested for vandalism)
- The faeries don't see any corpses -_- — a marginally disappointed faerie
- I'm good at disposing of them. You see, you can chop them into tiny, tiny pieces. And then you can put them in things...like, say, a cookie. But, why on Earth would I do that? >_>
- TOUHOU HIJACK LOL. -Icicle Fall -easy-- ~ TARDISES
- Thanks for the flower. That means that I'm giving a clone of it to you! @—}— ~theindefiniteone
- Let's dig up some bodies and not get caught! Well, only the corpses of Enzeru and Karl. ~an extra corpse thrown in
- Hey, what's up dude? [[Robbie Rotten
- COLORS! YAY!! :D ~theindefiniteone
- Thanks! :)
- More vandalism. - a completely new vandal
- Glad you liked the colors. Monochrome time? ~theindefiniteone
- No more colors. :( Have a muffin instead. -hands muffin over- ~theindefiniteone
- GOOD GOLLY Aiko Heiwa
- -is trying to cover up the fact that she has no more ideas- I promise to not swear on this page. ~theindefiniteone
- Hello, I came to visit. Feed me. -
- I'm trying to change my sleeping patterns. That has nothing to do with this vandalism. ~theindefiniteone
- Good morning, you rebel. ~ theindefiniteone ]]
- Here am I again! -MilosStefanovic
- Do you like Yanderes? ~theindefiniteone
- Human dolls are scary. You know, the ones that are supposed to be people? Not stuffed animals. ~Afraid of Dolls
- I like the color blue. Do you?
- I like blue , red is also nice! - Voids Empathy
- I also like shades and pales and neutrals. Beige, gray and soft things. ~Your Personal Spammer
- It ain't me, it ain't me, I ain't no fortunate one. ~ Ivan The Mouse
- Hey! I carved my own section here!!!! Voids Empathy
- Zombie! Zombie! Zombie! Zombie Nation! - Noaqiyeum Somewhere on this page there is a fnord.
- I'm back with more spam. I hope you can eat lots of salt. ~theindefiniteone
- The mark of my vandalism, shall scar thy DNA. - Hellman Sabian
- Send your armies. There's no man or machine that will stop me, and you will see. I come for vengeance for the First Son of Light, and I'm ready and I'm willing and I'm prepared to...SEND. ME. THE BEST YOU GOT! SEND. ME. YOUR STRONGEST MACHINES! THE. FIGHT. MY BROTHER FOUGHT! THIS. HERE. WILL END WITH ME! - Ivan The Mouse
- Gah!!! I've been losing track of time again.... -Voids Empathy
- Meep. Meep meep beep. Beep. Beep beep beep meep beep meep. ~Beep
- I have returned with more blinding colors. ~theindefiniteone
- Oh, and I'm not allergic to flowers. Thanks for the second one! I need to learn how to make a sunflower.
- AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
- Onii-chan~! ~ Vana-chan
- I see you.... 3...2....1... Nuclear Launch Detected -A Ghost sent from the Abyss
- There was a farmer who had a dog and Bingo was his name-o! BIN-G-O! BIN-G-O! BIN-G-O! And Bingo was his name-o! ~theindefiniteone
- I Am Glad, Cause I'm Finally Returning Back Home. ~ Eduard Khil
- This hand of mine is burning red! Its loud roar tells me to grasp victory! Take this, my love, my hate, and all of my sorrow! ERUPTING... BURNING... VANDALISM! ~ Hollikuru
- The right hand that vandalizes all that it touches. ...Wait, that doesn't sound right. Yami No Izanagi
- I have nothing to write here, so instead have a cookie. ~ Ivan The Mouse
- Hello. Want to hear something witty? Amazing? Crowning moment of awesome? Sorry, can't help you. ~Al Ciao
- THE HIJACK CONTINUES. -Freeze Sign: Perfect Freeze- ~ TARDISES
- 'Your will, Executor... -The Eternal Void
- Guten Tag. Was macht du jetzt? ~der unbestimmte Man
- To my favorite vandal! Well, after Vandal Savage. And the character in one of my stories who was descended from the Vandals. Oh, and all the thousands of Vandals that sacked Rome. But other than them, it's totally YOU!
- Charles Bronson is a bigger badass than Chuck Norris. Charles Bronson can kill Chuck Norris because Charles Bronson uses a gun. —Sean Murray I
- I'll tell you want, Hong Meiling is an elegant woman and she is also as sexy as hellnote . - Wanting China
- Wonder how that story with The Card With The Unwieldy Long Name is gonna turn out. ~ That Human
- ME BE CHIEFTAIN AFTER THIS! IT BRING ME GREAT HONOR! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! -Milos Stefanovic
- I'm floating down the river~ - Ivan The Mouse
- Why are you not yet part of our MOST EVIL group? I am still waiting. - Orange Spider
- Jinjoman offers 1 Holy Water(s). Do you accept? Y/N
- I enjoy you and the vandalism you left on my page. (The term comes from a comic series called Phonogram, by the way. It's quite good, you should read it.) - steampowered
- Just tellin' ya I exist... - DJ King
- YOU Aiko Heiwa
- I can't spell "caribbean". ~Enzeru
- I wonder if people still know who I am. ~Indef
- Give my regards to Cthulu ~ Shichibukai
- There once was a merry troper
- How's it going with you, friend? - Milos Stefanovic
- Yo Karl this is a song,
A song made for you,
You're a pretty nice guy.
And has a cool collection of avatars.
You job is a bore,
But you keep it hardcore,
RP-ing, and being,
There for us all,
You're a legend,
Like John Lennon,
And totes G, after all,
Your heart is as big as Albert Hall. - Inhopelessguy
- Huh. Deja vu. It's like my favourite T-shirt this page, Inhopelessguy
- The moon is on fire. You might want to deal with that. Raineh Daze
- WOAH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OHHHHHHHHHH Tropers/A Platypus
- YAY! I'm back here again! XD ~ Liberated Liberater
- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pam! Scrappy Power! -the Scrappy
- CTHULU! Your dinner's ready! -Shichibukai
- Dude, I've been here so many times, I'm gonna set up my tent. Inhopelessguy
- Shad Was Here.
- roaaaaaaar im scary -CommanderObvious
- Hello from the other side...-trails off-...-picks at dust on coat-... ~Aralyn
- I HAVE RETURNED. —Liberated Liberater
- OH YEAAAAAH = Commander Obvious
- Seems like somebody likes his ham. - Amused Troper Guy
- When the seagulls cry, there will be no survivors. — Liberated Liberater
- -Puts in a smattering of Vandalism- What do I get? It's your call... — Dark Confidant
- They tell you The Dark Side has cookies. What they don't tell you is that those cookies are macadamia nut. Remain a Jedi. - Mort08
- Hi Karl. I am a normal Earthling. I come in peace. I like your randomness. — Sabrina Diamond
- Phnglui from a Lovecraft fan to a Lovecraft fan. Feel free to vandalize my page back. ~Belfagor
- YYYYYYYYYYYOOOOOOOUUUUUU!! ~Dracosketch
- Sup, Karl ^u^ If you would step 30cm to the left off of your welcome mat, and close your eyes while you count to 49, I'd greatly appreciate it. No, I'm not going to steal your mat! I'm just...um...my boots are dirty and I don't like cleaning them in front of people? :)? ~ Aralyn
- -Sprays goo all over the page- VANDALIZED. -desdendelle
- I. Have. Returned.
- Chivalry is dead. The Illuminati killed it. —Sean Murray I
- And before you knew it, your page was just made perfect. -Rivux
- Ooooh look, vandals. -PantheraSapiensEllipsis
- Pony!Barry White for president ! ~Dhana Ragnarok
- Ailedhoo was not here. This is not vandalism. It is a duck.
- Zombies. Zombies everywhere. -GethKnight
- I'm vandalising as fast as I can! -Derwentian
- I-I'm vandalising your page. I-if that's all right with you... -Deadbeatloser22
- once upon your, once upon you, once upon your dead body
- *teleports a paint bomb into the page and sets it off remotely* —a vandal
- The Emissary has returned....For Vandalism....NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED
- Oh, hello there little page! Have a bigger fish! -A fisherman. Yep, that's it.
- The camels called. They want to feast on your soul. ~GameSpazzer
- At first, I considered leaving you some vandalism upside down, but then I thought, "Nah." —Sean Murray I
- WHO ASKED FOR AN EXTRA SERVING OF LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE HAM ?! ...Well, it's here. Sorry for the noise. ~Dhana Ragnarok
- Trick or Treat -Whale of Your Nightmare
- Trick or Treat! -Milos Stefanovic
- They said it was a milk run...that it didn't look like an ample place for an ambush; that there was too much large debris cutting off various lanes of attack. Then Chuck sneezed... —Wanderer of the Wastes
- Trick or Treat !! Bleeeeh ! Alfalfa Monster !! ~Dhana Ragnarok
- Trick or treat! - Haldo
- Tagged. - Deadbeatloser22
- I was too late for Halloween! *RAGE* ~ Aralyn
- -steals Halloween candy- >:D - Stolen By Faeries
- AHAHAHAAHAHA- I mean, do you want some of mine? I found on my doorstep but it tastes okay :D ~ Aralyn
- Good golly Miss Molly there's a lot of vandalism here. Vandalisimo! - Motree
- Yo, bro. How's it hanging? Inhopeless Guy
- So much to vandalize, so little time~ A Stray Bard
- AAAHHHH!! OUT OF CONTROL JACKHAMMER!!! RUN!!!! - Completely Normal Guy
- I strike again, this time by dumping a pile of firecrackers in a bucket of purple paint and running away. What a mess. - Completely Normal Guy
- This is probably the greatest thing I'll find on the Internet all week. —Sean Murray I
- Hey, what's that behind you? - Katana Cat
- Yo wassup Bro. - JR Pictures
- I REALLY LIKE YOUR MANE! ~raigakuren
- So you like dead bodies, and ponies? shiver -Tropers/eternalNoob
- Me Vandalsta. -VmKid
- So I was walking around downtown looking for a place to eat, right, because there are just so many options and I'm looking for something other than the average pastry and latte, and suddenly this kangaroo pops up in front of me and do you know what the kangaroo said it said, "Well," it said, "Nice day, isn't it?" and I replied, "Yeah, lovely," as you do, because kangaroos can probably kill you in one slash because you know, everything in Australia's poisonous, and then it looked at me and said, "What are you implying by that," and I said, "Nothing," and it said, "Nah, mate, I saw your look, you were thinking something," and I said, "Of course I was thinking something, you can't just think of nothing," and the kangaroo just gave me this look and said, "Oh, come on, mate, you're obviously lying, it's not like you've got a mask on or anything, I can see the look on your face," and I said, "What look?" and it said, "Don't play innocent with me, darl, you know what I'm talking about," and I said, "Well, you're a talking kangaroo, and I think I might be hallucinating due to my hunger pains," and the kangaroo was like, "No, no, that's rubbish, what are you really thinking about?" and I'm like, "Well, the weather's bloody awful, isn't it?" because it's raining and thundering and everything, and the kangaroo's looking at me all offended and I'm absolutely starving at this point, so I grab my pickaxe that I carry around everywhere, as you do when you live in Australia because, you know, huge poisonous things everywhere and all, and I poke the kangaroo in the shoulder with the handle and say, "Hey, get me a bandaid, I'm holding this thing by the blade," so it hops away to get me one, you know, Aussie spirit and all, and I make a quick getaway, thinking 'Thank God I carry spare ketchup with me'. So that was my day. How have you been? :) ~ Aralyn
- Kangaroos can be real jerks sometimes. Not that I would know because I live in the United States where nothing is poisonous and the worst possible thiing that can happen is my double latte doesn't have enough cream in it. :P - Karl Kadaver
- Oh, that happened to me once! I told the barista off and he told me to get bent. It was the worst day of my life ^u^ ~ Aralyn
- A Karl Kadaver tale, by that guy. Girl. Thing.
- So one day, Karl Kadaver was walking down this street, right, and he came across this massive turtle just out of nowhere toddling down the street pretty quickly and the turtle was like, "What are you looking at, kid?" and Karl Kadaver's like, "Well, you're an insanely massive turtle, and you're pretty much walking down Main Street," and the turtle's like, "So I'm not allowed to go on a little stroll every once in a while?" and Karl's like, "No, of course you are, it's just strange, isn't it?" and the turtle's like, "What's strange? Are you calling me strange?" and Karl's like, "No, not you, but just the idea of a massive turtle walking down the street-" but the turtle interrupts and says, "So you're calling me strange," and Karl's like, "Yeah, pretty much," and the turtle's getting all offended and says, "Want to know what I think about you?" like a total jerk and starts to stand on two legs like a total ninja and Karl just wings up with his Wire Fu and beats the shit out of that turtle with a blueberry pastry and was starting to leave when it turned out it was actually Aralyn under that turtle costume and Karl said, "Well, that's a great costume and all, but just because you're hiding under a mask doesn't mean you can be a demonstration of GIFT," and Aralyn's like, "Well, that's my blueberry muffin!" and Karl's like, "Well, that's not any reason to get into a turtle suit and go wandering around town," and Aralyn's like, "I wasn't going around town, I was looking for my blueberry muffin," and Karl says, "Here, have a million bucks," and Aralyn's like, "Bloody hell, thanks!" and then it stopped raining. So what have we learned today? 1. Money does indeed make happiness, and 2. Instead of kissing a frog and getting a prince, you should beat the hell out of a turtle and feed the hungry chick that results some pastry thing.
- The twist ending really got me!
- Ever heard the sound of a rapist's neck snapping ? Fantastic !! ~Dhana Ragnarok
- Your avvy. It's adorable. Is there a full version of it? - Eskay64