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Kiss of Distraction

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Not pictured: The disgusted reactions of Aladdin, Abu, and Iago.

Someone (usually, but not always, a woman) needs something from someone else (usually, but not always, a man). So Alice lays on the liplock, and when Bob recovers from post-kiss bliss, he finds out that his wallet, or key, or secret plans, or map, or weapon, has been stolen. Or his enemies have all escaped, or sneaked into the castle, or he's been chained to his chair.

Of course in all this kissing, the kisser may get more than they were bargaining for and might get a little too into the kiss themself.

Can be used to ignite or ramp up UST between two characters, or to indulge in some Dating Catwoman. Differs from the Fake-Out Make-Out because in that case both people are faking the kissing in order to cover up that they're united in trying to do something nefarious. Distinct from Distracted by the Sexy because in this case the sexy is not just wandering by but (quite literally) in your face.

A favorite tactic of the Lovable Rogue, Classy Cat-Burglar, Gentleman Thief, Femme Fatale and particularly Affectionate Pickpocket. The target might have known something was amiss if he'd remembered The Schlub Pub Seduction Deduction.

The Batman exception: This ploy is not likely to work on a kissee who is Crazy-Prepared or even just Properly Paranoid.

In especially unfortunate cases may also be a Kiss of Death. Compare "Shut Up" Kiss and "Take That!" Kiss. Contrast Fake-Out Make-Out, which is intended to distract and/or hide one's face from other people. Also contrast Platonic Kissing, where neither party is romantically interested.


Examples:

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    Anime & Manga 
  • In an episode of Code Geass, Lelouch enters a near-kiss state with Kallen to prevent her from seeing C.C. Later, "Lelouch" kisses Shirley to distract her from seeing a secret door opening.
  • Taken well beyond kissing in Cyberpunk: Edgerunners, where in Rebecca's introduction she spills a cup of coffee on the team's mark to distract him and then gives him a hand-job to keep him distracted.
  • In Fruits Basket, Haru kisses his ex-girlfriend so that she will let down her guard enough to tell him what's really bothering her. She realizes this soon after, and is not happy.
  • In WorldEnd: What Do You Do at the End of the World? Are You Busy? Will You Save Us?, Willem fulfills Ctholly's wish for a kiss, but he also uses this chance to catch her off-guard so he can treat her venenum poisoning (in an embarrassing process that she would certainly object to and resist, had she been alert).

    Comic Books 
  • In Spider-Man, this is how the Black Cat escaped Spider-Man the first time they met (Amazing Spider-Man #194). When he had her cornered, she gave him a kiss, and while he stood there, flustered, she ran away.

    Fan Works 
  • Atomic Number 79: Goku kisses Vegeta to distract him from asking questions Goku doesn't want to answer. Vegeta is fully aware this is a trick and doesn't fall for it.
  • In Be the Sea Dweller Lowblood, Vriska attempts this on Terezi to avoid getting captured. Terezi just breaks out the tongue, distracting and stunning Vriska instead.
  • In this Death Note Fan Art "Clever L" this is how L defeats Kira.
  • The Many Dates of Danny Fenton (Danny Phantom Western Animation, TV Series, and Comic Books.):
    • Felicia kisses Danny twice as a distraction. Once to put a tracker on him, the other to remove it.
    • To keep Katie from losing her temper, Danny reluctantly kisses her...which ends up working a little TOO well.
  • Of Monsters and Men: Discussed when C.C. tells Lelouch that he should distract Euphemia, his half-sister, with a kiss. Lelouch refuses to.
  • In Shatterheart, Kurogane kisses R!Syaoran all over his face and neck to distract the latter from their chess match that he was winning. It proves to be so effective that Syaoran quickly lost the chess match afterwards.
  • In White Magnolia, Pink Chrysanthemum, Ping (genderbent Mulan), while disguised as one of the Emperor's concubine, kisses Shan-Yu on the lips to both stop him from trying to kill the Emperor and to allow Shang to sneak from behind. Shang was briefly shocked, and shuddered at the display.

    Films — Animated 
  • Disney's Aladdin: In an attempt to keep Jafar from seeing Aladdin going for the lamp, Jasmine starts off by showing some leg, but in order to keep Jafar's attention she is forced to kiss him, much to everyone's (even Iago's) disgust. It almost works, but Jafar notices Aladdin's reflection in Jasmine's tiara.
  • Incredibles 2: Elastigirl (while being hypnotized) kisses Mr. Incredible. Unfortunately, Elastigirl uses the distraction to slap the mind control goggles on Mr. Incredible's face, making him hypnotized as well.
  • Superman: Doomsday: Lois Lane pretends to let Lex Luthor seduce her, and while they are making out, she injects him in the neck with a sedative.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • In Batman (1989) when she notices Batman sneaking around while being held hostage by The Joker, Vicki Vale starts kissing The Joker's arm to keep him from spotting Batman.
  • Coming to America: During Akeem's second date with Lisa, they go to a museum where they see an exhibit about Zamunda, Akeem's home country. But when he sees a photograph of himself as the Prince with his King and Queen parents, he immediately kisses her to keep her from seeing it.
  • In Get Smart (2008 movie), Agent 99 kisses the bad guy when she, Max and the bad guy are all plummeting through the air, to get him to go away. Later Max uses the same trick.
  • The Great Race: Maggie Dubois handcuffs herself to Leslie to force him to listen to her. Leslie kisses her and when he breaks the kiss it's revealed he has somehow not only escaped, but put the cuff on her other hand.
  • In Like Flint. The women agents from Fabulous Face perform "Operation Smooch" to distract and disarm the men guarding the missile base.
  • Maverick: This is a favorite technique of Annabelle, which she usually uses to steal things. Maverick is very savvy about it. An Aren't You Going to Ravish Me? moment leads him to say, "Are you crazy? I'm not going to sleep with you! I'd wake up with all kinds of things missing!"
  • Mission: Impossible II: Nayah distracts Dimitri with a kiss while stealing the envelope containing the memory card from his pocket.
  • The Mummy (1999): Evy kisses Imhotep in order to break his concentration so the sandstorm he's creating to kill the heroes disperses.
  • In the second National Treasure movie, Abagail and Gates have to search the US President's antique Resolute desk. Abagail gets them into the Oval Office via a White House staff member she's dating, then pretends to lose an earring which they both crawl about on the floor trying to find, while Gates secretly checks out the desk. The staff member 'finds' the earring, and when Abagail sees Gates still needs more time, she begins to snog him passionately to show her 'gratitude', much to the bemusement of her ex-boyfriend Gates.
  • In The Peanut Butter Falcon, Tyler kisses Eleanor while he handcuffs her to the steering wheel to stop her from interfering with Zak's wrestling match.
  • Pirates of the Caribbean:
    • Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest: Elizabeth kisses Jack in order to distract him while she shackles him to the deck of the Pearl when the Kraken is coming, essentially sending him to his death.
    • Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: Captain Jack lands inside an aristocrat's (played by Dame Judi Dench!) carriage. To the lady's delight, Jack smooches her ear, then scarpers. Judi giggles like a teenager, then realises that her ostentatious jewelled earring is missing, whereupon we cut to Jack with her earring hanging from his mouth. Om nom nom.
  • Red 2. The protagonists are infiltrating the Kremlin, and Sara is left to stand guard disguised as a Russian female soldier. A nice-looking male soldier stops to flirt with her, but she can't speak Russian and can't bring herself to shoot him, so she snogs him instead. Frank is not happy when he returns in time to see this.
  • In Six Days, Seven Nights, Quinn kiss Robin so she would be too distracted to protest when they jump over a high cliff to escape the pirates.
  • Underworld (2003): Selene kisses Michael and handcuffs him to a chair.

    Literature 
  • In God Stalk from the Chronicles of the Kencyrath, Bane gives Jame a Forceful Kiss in his last moments, as the mob screaming for his blood is right outside the door. It distracts/startles Jame long enough for Bane to shove her through a hidden door in the wall's panneling, thus getting her out of there and protecting her. The mob comes into the room seconds later and starts stabbing him.
  • In Harrow the Ninth Harrow is instructed by herself that she needs to learn if Ianthe has recently replaced the bones in her jaw. Because necromantically discerning this requires physical contact, she promptly kisses Ianthe, who's too shocked to respond before the job is done.
  • In the third book of The Ruby Red Trilogy, Gwen kisses Gideon to distract him from her past self who's hiding behind the curtain.
  • In Shatter Me, Juliette pretends to respond to Warner's advances by kissing him back, and begins unbuttoning his jacket. In doing so, she manages to reach his gun and shoot him.
  • Taken to a higher level early on in Tigana; Catriana and Devin are stuck in a tight secret passageway, and she has sex with him in an (unsuccessful) attempt to stop him from hearing a conversation in the next room.

    Live-Action TV 
  • Arrow: In "The Huntress Returns", Roy Harper gets stabbed saving Thea Queen from an Attempted Rape. In the hospital it turns out he's Afraid of Needles, so Thea kisses him as the doctor is injecting him. Given the circumstances it also marks the start of a Rescue Romance.
  • In the Babylon 5 episode "Voices of Authority", Sheridan kisses Julie Musante to stop her from noticing Ivanova is in the room.
  • In the Castle episode "Eye Of The Beholder", Castle kisses Serena in the hotel corridor in order to let Beckett and Esposito get away after searching her room. Subverted when they don't and instead arrest her after finding some evidence in said room. Bonus points for making Beckett jealous.
  • In the Community episode "Modern Warefare", Britta abruptly kisses Jeff during an argument about whether or not she gets to have a paintball gun; once they break apart Britta triumphantly holds up the gun, revealing that she had taken it from Jeff's pocket during the kiss.
  • Doctor Who:
    • In the episode "The Doctor's Daughter", while imprisoned, Jenny seduces a guard and grabs his gun during the kiss.
    • In "Closing Time", the Doctor attempts this on Craig, to prevent him from noticing a Cyberman coming up menacingly behind, and momentarily succeeds in distracting him only by dint of his unusual behaviour.
    • A book could be written about River Song's use of this technique, often accompanied by drugged lipstick for extra effect. If she kisses you, count your belongings. In her very first adult appearance (chronologically, anyway) in "Let's Kill Hitler", she plays an inversion of the game, distracting the Doctor with a variety of guns to keep him from realizing that her kiss is intended to be the fatal blow.
  • In Friends, Joey kisses Mrs Green (Rachel's mother) to stop her from seeing her ex-husband emerging from Rachel's "other" party. Amazingly, this succeeds in preventing both Rachel's parents from finding out about the other party.
  • H₂O: Just Add Water: Lewis realizes that the mermaid trio are spying on him and Charlotte on their excursion to Mako Island. He's already trying to keep Charlotte away from the Moon Pool, and trying to get her to realize the two of them are Just Friends, but Cleo falls into the stream with an audible splash. He then kisses Charlotte to prevent her from investigating, causing her to assume he reciprocates her feelings.
  • In Hotel del Luna, Chan-sung unknowingly enters a guest room of a ghost who hates humans and is known to drive them into madness if they look at her. Man-wol manages to come to his rescue before the ghost could fully exit her closet. But Chan-sung is still compelled by the ghost to look at her even with Man-wol's warnings. So Man-wol kisses him in order to snap him out of it and distract him from looking behind him. It works.
  • In the House episode "Half-Wit", Cameron kisses House to distract him while drawing blood, but he catches her.
  • In Jessie episode "Romancing The Crown", Bertram needs to distract Mrs Chesterfield so that Jessie and Zuri can sneak into her penthouse and retrieve Christina's tiara. They are nearly caught when Zeus, Mrs Chesterfield's dog, spots them and barks at them. To prevent Mrs Chesterfield from seeing Jessie and Zuri, Bertram immediately grabs her and compliments her on her breath, leading Rhoda to kiss him for several minutes, much to Bertram's disgust. This distraction proves enough for Jessie and Zuri to escape.
  • In the Lost Girl season 1 finale, Bo offers to kiss Kenzi to test if the anti-succubus talisman Kenzi is wearing works. It works, but while they are kissing, Bo handcuffs Kenzi to a pole to prevent her from following Bo to her showdown.
  • The Middleman: Lacey gets a videotape of Noser's ventriloquism performance away from Pip by distracting him with a kiss. Later on, Pip tries to explain to Joe that he had a tape of the performance but Lacey stole it, but Joe doesn't believe she would do such a thing. When Pip explains that she distracted him with a kiss, Joe laughs and says, "Yeah, this story's getting easier to believe..."
  • Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries: Jack kisses Phryne to prevent her from blowing their cover, which doubles as a Ship Tease for the audience.
  • Subverted in Monk where the magician's assistant tried to do this with Monk, giving him the key to his cuffs by kissing him. Sadly her not knowing about his OCD he immediately spits it right out revealing her plan to the guy trying to kill him.
  • Rumpelstiltskin in Once Upon a Time tries this on Zelena in an attempt to steal his dagger and gain his freedom back. It fails.
  • In Orphan Black, Sarah uses this to distract Paul from the differences between her and her clone Beth while she impersonates the now-dead cop in the first episode. Notably, it doesn't end with just a kiss; because Paul and Beth were intimate, Sarah has no choice but to carry the charade all the way through.
  • Person of Interest: Used for Tear Jerker effect in "If-Then-Else". Team Machine are trapped in the elevator, which won't work due to a Lock Down. Sameen Shaw realizes that they need to push the manual override button on the opposite side of the room, all while Samaritan agents are shooting at them. Root had recently forced Shaw to acknowledge their Homoerotic Subtext, so Shaw gives Root a passionate kiss, then shoves her back into the elevator and locks it before running to push the button.
  • Marian in BBC's Robin Hood uses this technique all the time on Guy of Gisborne. Whenever he's about to catch Robin or his gang breaking a law, outwitting the Sheriff, or sneaking into the castle, she would kiss Guy, or promise to marry him, or otherwise take advantage of his obsession with her.
  • In Scorpion, Walter ends up kissing Simba to distract her so that Happy, who was looking at everything inside Simba's hotel room, can walk out the door unnoticed.
  • Star Trek: Deep Space Nine: In "Who Mourns for Morn?", Morn's supposed ex-wife Larell ambushes Quark in a hallway and gives him a bit of oo-mox (stroking the earlobes - supposedly being equivalent to a hand-job in terms of the pleasure it produces) while she steals a brick of gold-pressed latinum from his vest pocket. Even Quark, who is known to be very protective of his money, fails to notice the theft until she's well away.
  • Star Trek: Enterprise: In one episode, Captain Archer is undercover on a pre-industrial alien world, and doing some covert work alongside an alien chick. When his Universal Translator breaks and he can no longer understand her, he smooches the woman to shut her up and distract her long enough so he can fix the translator behind her back. Subverted at the end of the episode when he gives her a goodbye kiss and she quips: "Is your translator broken again?"
  • Supernatural: The episode "Caged Heat" has Meg kissing Castiel in order to distract him and steal his angel-killing scimitar from his trench coat. Backfires when Cas spins her around and kisses back, dumbfounding not only Meg but the Winchesters as well.

    Professional Wrestling 

    Theatre 
  • In The Music Man, Marian Paroo plants one on Charlie Cowell to distract him, causing him to miss his train.

    Video Games 
  • In The Book of Unwritten Tales 2, Lizzie kisses Wilbur to distract him while taking the entire reward they were supposed to share.
  • In some RPGs such as Chocobo's Dungeon, enemies can cause a "confusion" status effect by kissing you.
  • In LEGO Batman, Catwoman kisses Batman to distract him from what her cat is doing.
  • At the end Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus, Sly gives one to Interpol Inspector Carmelita Fox while handcuffing her to a catwalk so the gang can escape.
    • He does so again in the animated special "Timing is Everything". This seems to be Sly's favorite method of avoiding capture when Carmelita's involved.
  • Star Wars: The Old Republic: When the Bounty Hunter PC catches up with Torian Cadera while hunting his disgraced clan leader and father on Taris, he sneaks up behind and puts a gun to the back of their head. In a close variant, female PCs can choose to flirt with him to get him to drop his guard, and then grab him and judo-flip him over her shoulder.
    Female BH: (with a boot on his chest and a gun in his face) Men...

    Web Comics 

    Western Animation 
  • The animated short called "Chase Me" for Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman, has one towards the end. After chasing Catwoman through Gotham to retrieve the money she robbed from Bruce Wayne's office, he suddenly sweeps her into a kiss. Once the police arrive Batman takes the money and leaves Catwoman, apparently letting her off the hook, but then she realizes he handcuffed her to the fence, leaving her to be arrested by the police.
  • The Fairly OddParents!: In the episode "Birthday Wish!", Timmy runs out of ways to distract Tootie from revealing his fairies to the world, so he reflexively declares himself her boyfriend and kisses her until her fairy loan time runs out.
  • In The Transformers episode "Money is Everything", Marissa Faireborn and Dirk Manus shared several kisses. During one of these, Dirk stole her gun.

 
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Video Example(s):

Alternative Title(s): Distracting Kiss

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Julie Snogs Brittas

Gavin and Tim need a distraction whilst a teenaged hacker messes with the computer systems in the centre, so Julie kisses and professes her love for Brittas to distract him.

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Main / WeNeedADistraction

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