The cover of FREAKIN GENSOKYO.
FREAKIN GENSOKYO
is a Touhou Project fanfiction, written by SKOOLATOON. It is a Self-Insert fic where the Cloudcuckoolander main character, who goes by the name of Brad (with no last name), wakes up in a forest in Gensokyo near the Scarlet Devil Mansion. Upon doing so, he immediately breaks the fourth wall and checks his surroundings. Realizing the urgency of the situation, he quickly tries to build a shelter in order to survive the incoming night.
Brad romps around Gensokyo, having fun, saying silly things, annoying people and accomplishing relatively little, while gradually gathering friends and stronger plant hangers. He describes almost everything as "fluffy", because it's just that kind of fic. Brad's evil friend Matt, based on a real-life chum of the author, joins in after a couple of dozen chapters to wreak havoc and murder innocent people, until the real Matt leaves the production team due to creative differences.
FREAKIN GENSOKYO provides examples of:
- Absolute Xenophobe: The human village is no friendly place to youkai. The village guards in particular will turn away any outsider they deem too strange.
- Abandoned Info Page: The FREAKIN' GENSOKYO website hasn't been updated since 2018, despite the fact that the work has almost tripled in size chapter-wise, and has gotten about 40 times as large in word count.
- Abduction Is Love: Subverted. When they first meet, Genkan kidnaps Brad from his team, and ends up finding him interesting enough to follow around. Things slowly escalate from there.
- Abstract Eater: While youkai can eat regular food, most of them feed on human fear.
- Specific types of youkai also feed on other things. Yuki-Onna feed on "heat" energy, and Gods feed on "belief".
- A Day in the Limelight: Occasionally, the perspective may change to one of Brad's travelling companions, or one of the canon Touhou characters.
- Adorable Abomination: Shikome, who is the embodiment of the Saigyou Ayakashi, a youkai tree.
- Aerith and Bob: Gensokyo is a realm hidden in Japan, so most characters have Japanese names. The main character is Brad, which is a distinctly American name.
- Age-Gap Romance: Brad is eighteen, but his Yuki-Onna girlfriend Genkan is somewhere around 60 years old.
- Even discounting her biological age, she still acts as if she's in her late 20's.
- Airborne Mook: Fairies, which appear almost everywhere in Gensokyo, and are a source of comedy and conflict alike.
- Air-Dashing: The Million Bucks allows Brad to do this.
- Allergic to Evil: Ha-chan is never comfortable around twisted technology or demonic fluffles.
- All First-Person Narrators Write Like Novelists: Lampshaded by Satori, when reading Brad and Matt's minds.
- all lowercase letters: The fluffles, a species of doll-like creatures, speak like this, and use almost no punctuation.
- Amazing Technicolor Battlefield: The laser tag arena in the Dream World.
- A Mind Is a Terrible Thing to Read: Brad's knowledge of Touhou as a fictional series leaves Satori quite confused.
- Angrish: At the start of Chapter 82.5, a bunny-girl is reduced to growling "Nnh!? Nhnhnh!?" at the sight of some damaged bamboo.
- An Ice Person: Genkan is a Yuki-Onna.
- An Odd Place to Sleep: Brad can sleep on tables, under tables, on jagged rocks, piles of books, and even snuggled up with a yuki-onna.
- Another Dimension: Hakugyokuro, the realm of dead artists, Makhai, home to demons, and the Dream World are all visited by one of the protagonists at some point.
- Arbitrarily Large Bank Account: At one point, Brad fights Joon, who has the ability to make anyone that gets hurt also drop some of their money. Some of the money comes out as gems, and because Gensokyo's economy is wack, the gems end up being worth much, much more then the yen they came from.
- Arms Dealer: Certain fluffles run stands that sell weapons based around the primary weapon of the customer. Yes, this includes alternate versions of signature one of a kind weapons.
- Audio Adaptation: An audiobook version of the first chapter exists, though it has not been made public.
- Baby Don't Got Back: Many characters in story have remarked on Brad's tragic lack of any cake whatsoever.
- Badass Normal: Brad starts out this way, taking on a handful of fairy maids (who are as strong as humans, based on Ha-chan) with nothing but a cast iron plant-hanger and a flail made of women's underwear. He gradually becomes an Empowered Badass Normal.
- Badass in a Nice Suit: Badley, the fan-given name for an alternate universe version of Brad is this. He is capable of walking off multiple powerful magic attacks that would kill a normal human, and can basically ignore physical attacks weaker than a gunshot.
- Barrier Warrior: Maribel, once equipped with Porcelain Mirror.
- Beach Episode: Chapter 64, albeit with a swimming pool fifty miles underground.
- BFG: Reisen's sniper rifle, described as "almost as big as she is".
- Bloodier and Gorier: The Matt chapters, in which he, Shikome and sometimes Rumia hack people to pieces, tear them apart and in some cases eat them alive. It is seldom played for laughs.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: Doremy borrows Brad's deadpan "Home." in Chapter 83.
- Breather Episode: Chapter 64. Brad and Renko comment on the fact that it's the first chance they've had to relax since the latter arrived.
- Cat Girl: Several live in the Palace of the Earth Spirits, most notably Orin.
- Matt becomes one in Chapter 82.5.
- Cerebus Syndrome: The story began with Brad romping around the Scarlet Devil Mansion, picking fights, getting dragged into fights, stealing end tables and beating up fairies, all in good fun. Later, his best friend from the Outside World starts murdering people and keeping child prostitutes while figures from Gensokyo's past start coming into the fold.
- An early case in Chapter 31, where Brad and Marisa almost die of hypothermia thanks to the former's antics.
- In Chapter 77, Brad and friends discover a teenage girl being held as a sex slave in somebody's basement.
- Character Catchphrase:
- Costume Evolution: Brad and Matt's outfits change a lot over the course of the story. Having a magical seamstress like Alice around is a big help.
- Covered in Mud: Brad learns the hard way that Gensokyo has lots of rain and no paved roads. In Chapter 62, Renko and Maribel end up this way too.
- Cuddle Bug: Ha-chan loves snuggling up to Brad whenever she gets the chance.
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Brad versus Sendai Hakurei no Miko in Chapter 75.
- Deadpan Snarker: Matt, especially on the subjects of murder and sadism. Renko has her moments too.
- Deal with the Devil: Matt strikes one with Shinki, in order to turn into a beautiful girl.
- Elite Mooks: The Moon Rabbit soldiers.
- Large and/or tubby fluffles, fluffles in pots, and the mysterious fluffle triads in gimp suits are all significant threats.
- Empowered Badass Normal: Brad becomes this way after gaining a few levels, learning a few spells and beginning his long-awaited danmaku training.
- Equipment Upgrade: Brad and Matt spend a lot of time working on their loadouts. Fluffle stands provide plenty of elemental weapons, reagents and suchlike, and the craftswomen of Gensokyo are happy to tinker with their weapons for a fee. Often, though, the upgrade process is as simple as slapping a magic stone onto your plant hanger.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: The non-upgraded forms of bought weapons and armor.
- Fantastic Arousal: If you have more than 100% resistance to an element, being hit with a corresponding elemental attack strengthens you... and turns you on. Genkan discovers this while decked out in enough magical gear to give her 800% ice resistance.
- First-Person Perspective
- The Glomp: Ha-chan greets Brad this way on several occasions.
- Goldfish Poop Gang: Koi, Komi and Namori, until they take a level in badass in Chapter 66.
- Grievous Harm with a Body: One of Shikome's many techniques.
- Hammerspace: Provided by Brad's Bag of Holding.
- Hedge Maze: Satori has one outside her palace.
- Heroic Lineage: The Hakurei, with at least two past members other than Reimu.
- Hero with Bad Publicity: Reimu. She is like this in Touhou canon, but FREAKIN GENSOKYO takes it up a notch: Various people in the Human Village want to kill her, destroy her shrine, take her prisoner or dissect her and use her blood to power up the human race.
- In Chapter 75, the Incident-Resolvers finally take their publicity into their own hands. Violently.
- How We Got Here: Chapter 64.5 focuses on how Matt, Rumia and Shikome arrived in the Palace of the Earth Spirits at the end of Chapter 64.
- An Ice Person: Genkan. Considering she's a yuki-onna, this is to be expected.
- Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: Chapters starring Matt are mostly named in the scheme "The X with a Y for a Head".
- The Immodest Orgasm: Genkan has one in Chapter 76. See "Fantastic Arousal" above for background.
- I'm a Humanitarian: Many lesser youkai eat human flesh, even that of the human villagers, and they seem quite open about it. This suggests Yukari has a laxer attitude towards killing and eating humans than in canon.
- In chapter 121.5, Maribel feeds Renko human blood and meat.
- Implacable Man: Byakuren of all people, during her hunt for Shikome.
- Improbable Weapon User: Brad's arsenal consists mainly of magical plant-hangers.
- Improvised Weapon: Brad's first plant hanger is this, until they become a viable melee weapon class. He has also used a yin-yang orb attached to a rope made from women's underwear.
- Byakuren occasionally uses her motorbike as a bludgeon.
- Matt fights with scissors.
- Innocent Fanservice Girl: Vanilla is quite happy to romp around in nothing but panties and a cloak.
- It Amused Me: The main reason Remilia allows Brad to stay in her mansion. Also the main reason Brad does about half the things he does, and the main reason Matt does almost anything.
- Jabba Table Manners: Shikome tends to devour her prey like this.
- Kissing Under the Influence: In Chapter 65, an aspara forces Ha-chan, Renko and Maribel to try and snog Brad and/or each other for several minutes. Brad refuses to play along.
- Kleptomaniac Hero: Brad stuffs his bag with stolen furniture, clothes and anything not nailed down.
- Knife Outline: Sakuya does this to people on many occasions.
- Knight of Cerebus: Matt, big-time. He brings violence and sadism into every chapter he stars in, even forcing the thirteen-year-old village guard commander into prostitution.
- Language Barrier: Brad cannot read Japanese. He can speak it, though.
- Lecherous Licking: Shikome does this to Vanilla after their first meeting.
- Loony Friends Improve Your Personality: Being with Brad has helped bring Genkan out of her shell, as she admits in Chapter 84.
- MacGyvering: How Brad and Matt solve most of their problems.
- Made of Iron: Most youkai can survive being electrocuted, beaten up, exploded on and peppered with arrows. In addition, Brad and Matt can take much more of a beating than humans should, up to and including long falls down stairs.
- Malicious Misnaming: In Chapter 75, Yoroi Chikara is called both Yo-yo Chikorita and Yaoi Chalk.
- Mana Meter: Everyone in Gensokyo has one of these, even outsiders. Brad is no exception, although his starts out pretty small.
- Man, I Feel Like a Woman: In Chapter 76.5, Matt's body is turned into that of a woman by Shinki.
- Mathematician's Answer: If Brad can be bothered to answer a question with actual words, one of these is bound to come. Example, from Chapter 70:Genkan: [regarding a large slab of metal] What is this?
Brad: Metal.
Genkan: [turns to Brad, giving him a stare] - Messy Hair: Brad's "curly-ass, dishwater-blonde Danny-Sexbang-esque hair, except with more grease".
- Mirror Match: Remilia's Match Mirror in chapters 8, 60, and 26, and Shikieiki's spellcard, also in chapter 26.
- Mix-and-Match Weapon: Instead of simply upgrading them, Brad gets the bright idea to instead combine them. This results in the Red Scare and the Bee-Fitty-Fore-Bawmber, combinations of plant hangers and NERF guns.
- Exaggerated with the advent of the Fallen Comrade and One Million Revenants, which are each a combination of three and four different plant hangers respectively, and are also part sickle in the case of Fallen Comrade and part flail for One Million Revenants.
- Multiple Narrative Modes: The fic starts out in third-person, before switching to first-person. This is lampshaded in typical fashion:They came up to- screw it, I'm done with it! Guess who the narrator is?! That's right, me! I'm tired of talking in third person! It just don't feel right with a self-insert friker!
- Myopic Architecture: The main example of this is Patchouli's barriers preventing access to her library. Brad bypasses this by simply mining through the wall next to the door.
- In fact, most locked doors within the story are easily bypassed by going through a wall or nearby window.
- Named Weapons: Most of Brad, Matt, and Maribel's arsenal. As of chapter 67: Hard Winter, Fairy Harp, Swordbreaker, Youkai Inconveniencer, Flame Salvo, Vortex Hanger, Deep Blue, Sharper than Darkness, Bee-Sheventeen-Bawmber, Million Bucks, Porcelain Mirror, Dreamcatcher, Market Gardener, and Quick Scissorang.
- Names to Run Away from Really Fast: All of Matt's nicknames. Satanslaughter Mc Killgore, for example.
- The Napoleon: The young commander of the Human Village guards. When he's not ordering innocent people to their deaths or getting piggy-backs from shrine maidens, he's shooting people for insubordination.
- Nightmarish Factory: The cyborg fairy foundry in Chapter 70.
- No Fourth Wall: There really isn't one, although Yukari keeps Brad from exploiting the fact too much.
- Non Sequitur: In Chapter 64.5, Rumia says "I~ would like some bread loafs..." completely out of the blue.
- Not So Above It All: Genkan. Although Brad hardly ever fails to drive her up the wall, she admits in Chapter 87 that she enjoys some of their antics.
- Only Sane Woman: Reimu in most cases. Considering what she has to deal with, it's amazing she can keep it up.
- Overcome with Desire: The fate of Renko, Maribel and Ha-chan for half of Chapter 65.
- Refuge in Audacity: Brad and Matt often speak this way. It's the only thing they can take refuge in sometimes.
- Remote Body: In chapter 75, Kaguya is given a remote-controlled Master Chief-style robot avatar so she can fight the Lunarians without being seen in person.
- Rhymes on a Dime: A cooperative version appears in Chapter 70:Brad: I'm 'onna put this factory to rest!
Mad scientist Kappa: You're under arrest!
Brad: Not without an armrest!
Genkan: Give it a rest. - Rousing Speech: Mokou gets to deliver one in Chapter 77 after our heroes thwart a rapist:Mokou: [...] This is our opportunity to show these bastards what the hell some of us are made of. And, supposin' we don't even find anything today, we've got tomorrow, the day after, and we've got plenty of time to do the fucking right thing for a change, and make this village safe. I hope you're all fucking ready to earn your dinky Youkai Exterminator badges, or medals or whatever the hell it is they give you for getting something done. We're gonna do our damndest.
- Rummage Sale Reject: Brad starts to look this way in later chapters. Some highlights include his ice-resistant camo kimono, Kaguya wig, Remilia costume, dungarees and bright yellow motorbike helmet.
- Scolding the Fourth-Wall Breaker: Yukari does this in the earlier chapters, keeping Brad from making too many meta jokes.
- Sealed Evil in a Can : Mima's crystal underneath the Hakurei Shrine.
- Security Cling: Genkan's fear of Flandre in Chapter 83 is enough to make her cling to Brad.
- Shock and Awe: Ha-chan's main method of attack.
- Shrinking Violet: Maria has almost no confidence. Emphasis on "almost".
- Sickening "Crunch!": A common side effect of Shikome's eating habits.
- Sleep Cute: Ha-chan frequently tries to invoke this with Brad, usually without his consent.
- Sleepyhead: In later chapters, Rumia spends most of her time either dozing or wishing she was dozing.
- Slime Girl: A few appear in later chapters.
- Small Girl, Big Gun: Reisen and her enormous sniper rifle.
- Soul Jar: Sendai Hakurei no Miko's ancient gohei.
- Succubi and Incubi: Koakuma stands out; almost everything she does is for the sake of getting some sugar.
- Summoning Artifact: Matt's Danger Scissors can summon random encounters at any time.
- Super-Strength: Youkai in canon are super strong, but they show their strength much more here by beating up overeager Human Village swordsmen.
- A special mention must go to Orin, who can run over mud and rocks while pushing four people and a skull in her wheelbarrow.
- Shikome can open Remilia's huge door without breaking a sweat.
- Talking to Themself: Brad has an encounter with his violent, uninhibited dream self in Chapter 83.
- Took a Level in Badass: In Chapter 66, Koi, Komi and Namori have taken several, holding their own against not only Brad but Ha-chan, Renko and Maribel. Komi even gives Shikome a run for her money.
- Tummy Cushion: Ha-chan frequently lies on top of Brad.
- Underground City: Former Hell.
- Untrusting Community: The Human Village. Nobody there has any respect for Reimu and her friends; Brad they mostly ignore and roll their eyes at.
- Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Brad throws up in Chapter 67. To be fair, he had just seen a man's bones teleported out of his body.
- You Need to Get Laid: Nemuno encourages Genkan to start making love to Brad for his benefit. She is less than thrilled.
- Yuki Onna: Genkan. There is also an entire village somewhere in Gensokyo.
