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Characters / The Parselmouth of Gryffindor

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Hogwarts Students


     Hermione Granger 
The main character, the titular Parselmouth of Gryffindor, a teenage crusader for sentient rights with a knack at finding loopholes.
  • Almighty Janitor: Despite being a student still, during third year Hermione becomes Fudge's unofficial advisor. According to her, the man needs so much advice that she's functionally ruling the country.
  • Confirmed Bachelor : In her own words, she has "more important things to do than play romance with the other kids", and, while she is definitely not asexual, intentionally puts off dating until after she's turned legally adult, finished her studies, and stopped the murderous maniac running amok.
  • Constantly Curious: Curiosity, and a tendency to start asking strings of questions without letting the other fellow take a breath, remains one of Hermione's trademarks well into first year, for all that Harry and Ron help her work on it.
  • Didn't Think This Through:
    • Believing a few seconds of thinking can allow her to Rules Lawyer one of Voldemort's horcruxes nearly gets Hermione killed.
    • Because she didn't use human blood in the ritual/potion to resurrect herself, Hermione is, from a magical standpoint, no longer entirely human. (Mind you, it has its perks.)
  • Flight: Learns the secret of Unsupported Flight from the Dementors and uses it liberally ever after.
  • The Hero: Unconventional, to be sure, but a hero nonetheless, with a mission to turn the wizarding world on its head and making it fairer for everyone.
  • The Man Behind the Man: Becomes one for Minister Fudge.
  • Offered the Crown: Anticipates that Slughorn is going to nominate her as Acting Minister for Magic after Fudge disappears — and flat-out refuses. She's too busy already.
  • Purple Is Powerful: After being resurrected, Hermione's skin is a light mauve color and she's more resistant to poisons and immune to bleeding to death.
  • Rules Lawyer: Hermione gains a reputation as a relentless finder of loopholes, to the point that Dumbledore calls on her when the Sorting Hat is being difficult about his pledge not to reveal what he sees in students' minds during a Sorting.
  • Try to Fit THAT on a Business Card!: Hermione J. Granger, Lady Macbrains of the Order of the Junior Marauders, Order of Merlin (2nd Class), Personal Advisor to Minister Cornelius O. Fudge, Knight of the Phoenix, Amabssador of the Violin Nation, Hogwarts student.
  • Volcanic Veins: After being resurrected, Hermione's veins permanently glow purple because the blood used in the ritual wasn't human blood.
  • Wide-Eyed Idealist: Hermione is insistent that Voldemort can be rehabilitated when even Dumbledore states that he needs to die. As the debate itself, whether Hermione or Dumbledore is right here is left ambiguous, as Voldemort stays Taken for Granite throughout.
  • Zombie Advocate: Naturally. And quite rightly too.
     Harry Potter 
The widely-known Boy Who Lived and one of Hermione's earliest friends. His role (both as The Protagonist and The Chosen One) is confidently taken over by Hermione, and Harry is quite alright with that.
  • Out of Focus: Since he's no longer the primary point-of-view character, he doesn't get nearly as much attention as he does in the books, especially later on.
     Maximilian Candy 
A boggart-turned-sentient-shapeshifter, born of an unlikely series of events, who becomes Hermione's friend and attends Hogwarts under the guise of a human boy.
  • Emergent Human: His most defining trait.
  • Extreme Omnivore: All food gets magically vanished — turned into magical energy — the moment it enters his body, anyway, so Maximilian pulls no stops and does things like eating the wrapping along with the candy.
  • I Know What You Fear: Maximilian, owing to his Boggart nature, can see even an Occlumens's worst fear. Because he's a nice guy all around, he usually keeps it a secret.
  • Kryptonite Factor: Still weak to the Riddikulus Curse (to the exclusion of nearly all other curses), which is useless on any other creature.
  • The Mind Is a Plaything of the Body: An unusual willing example: he can (and does) alter parts of his brain to become better-suited to whatever he's doing, such as turning off the part of his brain that induces boredom if he's studying. Other characters are understandably creeped out by this.
  • Mundane Utility: Apparently Maximilian uses his Voluntary Shapeshifting to turn off the parts of his brain that produce boredom.
  • O.C. Stand-in: He's the boggart from Lupin's lesson in Prisoner of Azkaban. You'd be forgiven for forgetting that this means he technically isn't an Original Character.
  • Pinocchio Syndrome: His main goal is to become accepted in wizard society as a human (although he doesn't want to physically become human for it, instead being content with his shapeshifting abilities).
  • Shapeshifter Weapon: Offers variations, such as turning into a pillow to serve as a very literal human shield for his friends.
  • Uplifted Animal: A Boggart (a non-sentient magical shapeshifter) who, by pure luck, turned into an accurate enough copy of a human being that he started to think… and hasn't stopped since.
     Ron Weasley 
A likable everyman to Hermione's buzzing world-changer, Harry's best friend is brave and helpful, but, at heart, still a normal schoolkid — which is more than can be said of Hermione.
     Neville Longbottom 
Harry's friend but only a vague acquaintance to Hermione at first, Neville slowly grows (both in narrative importance and in character) over the course of the story.


     Draco Malfoy 
The self-proclaimed King of Slytherin, Draco is a bully with a bit of an ego problem, and Hermione can't stand him. He does have quite a few henchpeople, though, and the Hat has to have put him in Slytherin for a reason…
  • Not-So-Harmless Villain: For the first few years, Hermione and her friends don't even pay attention to Draco, who, being better at posing and poking poodles than actually harming anyone, is written off as no threat at all. Then it turns out she gave up too early too completely, because he very nearly manages to kill her. With a snake.
  • Smug Smiler: Like the rest of Slytherin House, Draco is well-trained in the arts of sneering and smirking.
     Vincent Crabbe 
One half of Draco's duo of go-to goons, Crabbe takes his role as a henchman and his own lack of intelligence with great philosophy. He also appears to be involved with a plot by the Great Lake… but who knows what that might be.
  • Punch-Clock Villain: Like most of the hired henchpeople in Slytherin, he just lets Draco boss him around because it's the normal place for a rather unintelligent youth in Slytherin. And also because Draco pays him.
     Gregory Goyle 
The other half of the Crabbegoyle duo, meaner and more ambitious than Crabbe (though hardly more intelligent).
  • Punch-Clock Villain: Like most of the hired henchpeople in Slytherin, he just lets Draco boss him around because it's the normal place for a rather unintelligent youth in Slytherin. And also because Draco pays him.
     Bronson Pike 
One of the members of Draco's "gang", Pike is, at one point tasked by Draco with retrieving Tom Riddle's Diary and his attempt is a Zany Scheme involving dressing up as a Dementor.
  • Actor Allusion: In the original canon, he's only known as Pike, with no first name given; here he is called Bronson, after the actor who portrayed him in the films, Bronson Webb.
     Douglas Wilkes 
A henchman-for-hire, two years younger than Hermione. For a Slytherin, he's not very good at sneering yet, but extremely likable. Hermione hires him in Third Year as part of a Loophole Abuse scheme to get rid of the Prophecy.
  • Original Character: Apparently some relation of the Death Eater Wilkes, but that's as close as canon gets to this young fellow.
  • Punch-Clock Villain: Inasmuch as being a professional minion makes you a villain; of course, his role in the story sees him working for Hermione instead.
  • Sweet Tooth: Downplayed, but he does accept chocolate as payment instead of Galleons.
     Pansy Parkinson 
One of Slytherin's minions-for-hire, formerly a member of Draco's "villainous" band. Has a phobia of wolves.
     Mina Moores 
A Slytherin Prefect, very talented at acting dramatic and sneering. Despises Hermione out of general loyalty to Draco, who fancies himself her archnemesis.
  • Original Character: Presumably there is a female Slytherin Prefect, but who knows what her name is and what she's like in canon.
  • Smug Smiler: A master of the art of Slytherin smirking and sneering.


     Luna Lovegood 
A lovable Cloud Cuckoo Lander with a talent for painting, Luna is Hermione's friend.


     Helen Monroe 
In Hermione's year, Helen is the great-great-granddaughter of one Dorian Monroe, who served in Grindelwald's armies. She is very set upon springing the one she considers to be her personal Dark Lord out of Nurmengard — refusing to accept that he's pulled a Heel–Face Turn and doesn't want to escape.
     Hannah Abbott 
Also in Hermione's year, a sweet girl who plans to become a Healer.
     Wesley Weasley 
Ron's young cousin who, through circumstances, becomes revered as the new Boy Who Lived. It goes to his head a bit.

Hogwarts Staff


     Professor Albus Dumbledore 
The wise and immensely knowledgeable Headmaster of Hogwarts, Dumbledore is something between a friend and a mentor for Hermione.
  • Putting the "Pal" in Principal: Student Hermione genuinely becomes one of Dumbledore's closest friends.
  • Renaissance Man: He is portrayed this way; aside from his magical power, appreciation of chamber music and skill at ten-pin bowling, he is also shown to casually repair a cuckoo clock while in the middle of a conversation.
  • Sweet Tooth: As in canon, Dumbledore is rather fond of his sweets, mugs of cocoa and other delicacies.

     Professor Alexander Max 
Second Year's emergency Defence Professor after Gilderoy Lockhart runs away, Professor Max is menacing, mysterious, and appears to like Dark Magic more than defending against it… but you've got to admit he's good.
  • Determinator: It is implied the reason Professor Max is still alive is because he is still waiting to teach the Ghoul Studies class he was promised more than a century ago.
  • Nightmare Fetishist: Of the Played for Laughs variety; he loves dark monsters and ghoulies and doesn't see why no one else does. After Fudge calls back the Dementors from Hogwarts in Second-Year, while everyone else is cheering, he begs Dumbledore to let them stay.
  • Put on a Bus: Being a Defence Professor, this was to be expected. At the end of Second Year he goes off to Azkaban to write a monograph on Dementors, and he hasn't been heard from since.
  • Vague Age: Professor Max has been the Ghoul Studies professor "since the 18th or 19th century", and calls 120-year-old Dumbledore "young"… but at the same time does not look that old, not having a single gray hair for one thing. Methuselah Syndrome is probably at play.

     Professor Rubeus Hagrid 

     Professor Remus Lupin 
Third year's Defence Professor, the nice and competent Remus Lupin is closer to Harry and Ron than to Hermione. His only problem is that he's a werewolf, but what's a centuries-old Dark Curse when you've got the planet's foremost Rules Lawyer among your students?
  • Cool Teacher: Considered a great and likable professor by all his students. Not being either evil or completely crazy helps.
  • Put on a Bus: As only natural of a Defence Professor. He and the Basilisk fly off to America to advertise Hermione's Lycanthropy cure in Summer 1994.

     Professor Gilderoy Lockhart 
As in canon, an immoral gloryhound of a "hero" who comes to Hogwarts as Defence Professor for free publicity.
  • Miles Gloriosus: Gilderoy Lockhart, naturally. In fact, he flees Hogwarts barely two months into the year following the Acromantulas' attack.

     Professor Gellert Grindelwald 
Of Fantastic Beasts fame, this Dark Wizard caused World War II (among other dark deeds)… but fifty years of jail have mellowed him down, and he ends up Hogwarts's Defence Professor, to everyone but Dumbledore's bemused outrage.
  • The Atoner: The reason he stays in prison is that, unlike, say, Voldemort, he actually feels remorse for his many, many crimes.
  • Insistent Terminology: He's quite insistent that Hermione doesn't have the magic of an Acromantula. Rather, her blood has the magic of an Acromantula's blood. Given the traits of an Acromantula she doesn't posses, he's quite right.
  • Retired Badass: Not by choice, but the man who once came close to Taking Over The World is now a schoolteacher.
  • Self-Restraint: He believes he could escape, if he wanted to, but he prefers to stay where he is, since he considers he has yet to pay for his crimes.


     Sirius Black 
The only human "Voldemort-Keeper" in the Third Floor Corridor, Sirius has faked his death and now enjoys a sweet life of chilling out in Hogwarts, preparing pranks with the Weasley Twins, and driving Snape nuts by pretending to be a ghost.
  • Death Faked for You: Fakes his death with the help of Max the Boggart, and then his exorcism as part of Hermione's plan to deal with the Prophecy.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Moody gives him a fake beard, glasses and hat to disguise himself. Even though he knows it is ridiculous, Sirius rolls with it and starts to call himself "Jester White", with nearly everybody else (even the narrator) following suit, much to Snape's despair.
     Argus Filch 
As in canon, the grouchy Squib caretaker of Hogwarts. Not at all a threat to Hermione thanks to her pragmatic attitude when it comes to using Filch's unwillingness to reveal his Squibness against him.
  • Don't You Dare Pity Me!: When Hermione tries to get him to stop overworking himself and get some help from the elves.
  • Sour Outside, Sad Inside: Per Chapter 33, it seems confirmed that Filch's crankiness is very much a function of his complex for being a Squib.
  • Workaholic: Filch perpetually works himself half to death in his self-given mission of cleaning the whole Castle every day, which he does to prove to himself that he's just as good as wizards and elves, powers or not.

Ministry of Magic

     Minister Cornelius O. Fudge 
Wizarding Britain's vain Minister for Magic. Fudge is clueless and bombastic but not fundamentally bad… his main problem is that he'll take advice from anybody. Fortunately, that "anybody" soon ends up being Hermione.
  • Puppet King: With Hermione as the power behind the ministerial chair, through his constantly asking for her advice because he has no idea how to deal with any sorts of responsabilities.
  • Unwitting Pawn: Cornelius Fudge is ridiculously easy to manipulate, be it by Dolores Umbridge, Lucius Malfoy or someone else. He's actually a good guy at heart, but only avoids causing a world catastrophe because Hermione (who has come to control him most usually, and, therefore rule Magical Britain from the shadows) keeps a tight leash on him.

     Dolores Umbridge 

Dark Wizards

     Barty Crouch, Jr. 
Formerly one of Voldemort's most diabolically competent followers, Barty Crouch Jr. escapes his father's Imperius Curse in Third Year and is now going after turncoat Death Eaters… although there seems to be more to his scheme than meets the eye.
  • Awesome Anachronistic Apparel: Barty Crouch Jr. manages to invoke this trope in spite of the Harry Potter Wizarding World at large arguably already being an example — he shows up to the Frost Fair wearing a ruby-colored Conquistador's helmet on top of his iconic crimson robes.
  • Knight of Cerebus: Pre-Crouch plot: no villain, Voldemort is a silver monkey, fun and good times. Post-Crouch plot: Inferi and Hermione is dying. Notice anything? Not that a good dose of wacky humor doesn't remain throughout, but the stakes have definitely been raised there.
  • Psycho Supporter: As the story progresses, Barty grows more and more delusional about the extent of Voldemort's power, referring to his fallen master as though he'd been some sort of disembodied, immanent god of darkness. (He is still massively dangerous, however.)
  • Red Is Violent: As the leader of the Death Eaters, he wears scarlet robes instead of black ones. He ends up nicknamed the Crimson Heir of Voldemort by the papers — a name of which only Hermione seems to see the double meaning.
  • Would Hurt a Child: And did, during the war. Repeatedly. In the story proper, he also murders Wesley Weasley without a second thought… even if Hermione later manages to bring him Back from the Dead.

     Professor Quirinus Quirrell 
First year's deceivingly harmless Defence Professor hiding something dark and evil in that ridiculous turban of his. Just like said something, he ends up not being too much of a threat…
     Lucius Malfoy 
Draco Malfoy's father, former Death Eater and all-around sleazebag. A Pragmatic Villain who can be convinced to help good rather than evil for the right amount of gold.

     Professor Igor Karkaroff 
Former Death Eater who named names to get out of Azkaban, and now Headmaster of Durmstrang, as in canon. Still a Dark Wizard and morally abhorrent, and makes only a cursory attempt to hide it. Karkaroff is despised by most of the other Death Eaters, free or otherwise, starting with Barty Crouch Junior, which leads to his murder at Crouch's hands in Third Year.
  • Asshole Victim: As mentioned above, being free in the eyes of the law doesn't change his having been a ruthless Dark Wizard. Lampshaded by Hermione's confusion at how grave Dumbledore is acting about the murder:
    Dumbledore: “I mean to say that he has probably been viciously murdered.”
    Hermione: “…Ah, erm, not to make light of any human life, but why do you particularly care?”
  • Was Once a Man: He was the first Inferius which Crouch sends at the heroes, in Chapter 41.

Incarnations of Voldemort

     Lord Voldemort/The Turban 
Once the most powerful Dark Lord in the world, but overall a minor issue for Hermione past first year… Hermione calls him the Turban, much to his annoyance.
  • Animate Inanimate Object: For much of First Year, Hermione is convinced "Tom Riddle" is the name of Quirinus Quirrell's turban, which she takes to be an artifact similar to the Sorting Hat. Only later does she realize the turban is just covering up something else.
     The Diary 
Voldemort's first Horcrux. Is captured extremely easily, on account of being an inanimate object, and currently resides in the pocket of the Petrified Quirrell.
     The Locket 
Also known as the Locket Chimpanzee, this piece of Voldemort used to reside inside Slytherin's Locket but was more-or-less-forcefully transferred into a statue of a chimpanzee. He's not amused.
     The Ring 
Summoned out of the Resurrection Stone, this shard of the Dark Lord ends up in the body of a terracotta statue of a female archer. He's not amused.
     The Cup 
The piece of Voldemort inside the Cup of Hufflepuff, he attempts to possess the Sorting Hat.
  • Evil Gloating: Will not stop, even moreso than the other versions of Voldemort, and much to Hermione's annoyance. Even though he's in no position to gloat, at all.
  • Merger of Souls: Forcefully, with the Sorting Hat.

The Voldemort in Harry's scar. Not as harmless as in the books, by far.
  • Grand Theft Me: Very nearly succeeds in taking over Harry's body.
  • HighjackedByGanon: Most of Fourth Year has Barty Crouch Jr. as the antagonist, leading the Death Eaters by himself, but then the climactic battle happens without him when Scardemort's own Evil Plan comes to fruition and he summons all of the Death Eaters to him through the Dark Mark.
  • Nice Job Fixing It, Villain: His attempt to take over Hogwarts by summoning the Death Eaters not only fails, but ends with the arrest of most of the Death Eaters who Barty Crouch had broken out of Azkaban earlier. The Dark Side as a whole was much better off without his interference.


     The Dursleys 
Harry's loathsome but ultimately ineffectual and bumbling guardians. Kaiser's job is to make sure they don't bother Harry.
     The Grangers 
Daniel and Sally Granger, Hermione's dentist parents. Daniel seems to care less about his patients than he does about what they pay him, but both are generally decent people and a loving (albeit, by necessity, distant) family to Hermione.
  • I'll Pretend I Didn't Hear That: When Hermione mentions that she has a "pet Dark Wizard millionaire", they both decide that (for the moment) they don't want to know.
     The Dysons 
The Grangers' elderly neighbors, in whose backyard Nettle lives.
     John Hanger 
The elderly owner of Little Hangleton's pub, The Hanged Man. Loves to gossip and to make strangers pay more than they ought to. Also a surprisingly good cook.
  • Gossipy Hens: A male example. Not that there's much happening in a little village, so he makes do by endlessly recycling the town's only interesting story (the decades-old Riddle murders) to no end, and making up ludicrous conspiracy theories about what few strangers pass through town.
  • Original Character: Though his pub itself, The Hanged Man, is canon.


Formerly Peter Pettigrew, the "magical rat" Scabbers becomes Ron's friend — though without revealing his background — and later flees Hogwarts rather than face Voldemort again, either as foe or follower.

     The Flamels 
Nicolas and Perenelle, Dumbledore's old alchemist friends from France, who take a liking to Hermione after she solves Lycanthropy.
  • Cool Old Lady: Perenelle appears innocuous and meek next to her husband, but soon proves she can goes toe-to-toe with Barty Crouch Junior in a duel after Crouch kills Nicolas.
  • Killed Mid-Sentence: Nicolas, at the Frost Fair, is killed by a wordless Killing Curse of Barty Crouch's in the middle of a conversation with the Grangers.

Sentient Nonhumans


     The Great Basilisk 
The Basilisk bred as a weapon by Salazar Slytherin beneath Hogwarts. Magical bonds prevent her from going against Slytherin's (or Voldemort's) order, but a little outside-the-box thinking takes care of that…
  • Adaptational Heroism: This version of the Basilisk doesn't want to kill sapient beings, and only does so because she's compelled to by magical bonds. Nothing like this was ever even hinted at in the book.
  • Ascended Extra: Arguably; despite how central she is to the events of Chamber of Secrets, the Basilisk isn't much of a character in canon, so much as a plot device Monster of the Week.
  • Loophole Abuse: She reveals a good part of Voldemort's planning with the Horcruxes by using different words to avoid telling it all directly.
  • No Name Given: She does not appear to possess one (Slytherin didn't bother naming her).
  • Not Evil, Just Misunderstood: The Basilisk isn't actually evil at all, merely bound to Slytherin and his Heirs' will, much like House-Elves. She is actually quite friendly and only killed sapients against her will.
The large, dangerous, badly-abused attack snake of Lucius and Draco Malfoy, whom they like to summon during duels through the spell Serpensortia. Obviously, using a sentient slave as a weapon doesn't sit well with Hermione…
  • Ascended Extra: Only appears in one scene in the books, whereas here, his backstory is greatly expounded upon and he survives.
Formerly You Know Who's right-hand snake, Nagini has laid in wait of her Lord for eleven years, and she's starting to get twitchy
     Nettle and her Children 
A female grass snake who lives in the Grangers' garden, and Hermione's good friend. Hermione teaches her and her children about the human world.

Forbidden Forest Residents

     Toft and the Wolves 
Sentient, magical wolves descending from werewolves who mated while transformed. Their leader, Toft, is the wisest and most powerful.
  • Noble Wolf: Naturally, their leader Toft is especially majestic.
     King Tolgar 
An oversized Alizor and the leader of the Alizor Colony in the Forest.
  • Large and in Charge: Towers above the other Alizors, as befitting of a character inspired by the Great Goblin.
  • Monster Lord: Though the other Alizors are quite sapient, the Alizor King must surely qualify, being larger and far more calculating than his brethren, as well as the only one willing to discuss things (albeit in You No Take Candle English) rather than just eat you.
  • Poirot Speak: He sprinkles his speech with Alizor interjections (and curses) but does not really grasp English grammar, constantly dropping pronouns for one thing.
  • You No Take Candle: The Alizor King, with his very basic grasp of English, sometimes slips into this. Most notably, he only rarely remembers to use pronouns.
     The Alizors of Tomberag 
A tribe of subterranean goblin-like beings who lived in an underground lair in the Forest.
  • Ascended Extra: Briefly seen in the Magical Creatures textbook in the movies.
  • Mole Men: Alizors are depicted as akin to this, with some Tolkien Goblins thrown in, though they don't really resemble moles.
     The Acromantulas 
The tribe of Acromantulas in the Forbidden Forest; not necessarily evil, but certainly barbaric and dangerous.
  • The Ghost: Queen Mosag is behind the darkest event in the story but is defeated off-screen by Dumbledore before the heroes, or the readers, have had a chance to meet her.
  • God Save Us from the Queen!: Queen Mosag, the bloodthirsty and warmongering consort of Aragog, responsible for the Acromantulas' attack on Hogwarts.
  • Meaningful Name: Marchog's name is derived from the Welsh word for a "knight", "horseman" or "rider".
A cut character from the movie, Alastair is a teenage Acromantula who befriended Harry in his cupboard when he was still a spider-sized youngling. Poor cupboard-bound Harry had found an unexpected playmate, but Uncle Vernon didn't quite see it that way, and stomped on the poor thing, who, even after getting some healing from Hagrid, returned home with a twisted, cracked shell.
  • The Unfavorite: Due to Mosag's animalistic, strength-based idea of “worth”, Alastair (who's bad at fighting because of his injuries) naturally becomes this.


     Max the Boggart 
See Maximilian, under Hogwarts Students
     The Sorting Hat 
A thinking telepathic hat who has the Four Founders' memories, and a surprisingly talkative friend to Hermione.
  • Lawful Stupid: Downplayed (but still noticeable) in a specific incident where his oath not to reveal anything he sees in the mind of his Sortees prevents him from giving key information to Dumbledore.
  • Merger of Souls: With the Cup Horcrux.
     The Golden Griffin 
The Golden Griffin Gargoyle who guards the entrance to the Headmaster's Office (or, at least, used to).
  • Ascended Extra: Only a very minor part in the books, and in the movies he's just seen in one scene and doesn't talk. Here, he's a recurring comic relief.
  • The Stoic: The Golden Griffin, guardian of the Headmaster's Office, prides himself on staying still as a statue under all circumstances unless the correct password is spoken. Hermione manages to annoy him enough to make him quit.
A magical portrait of a younger Professor McGonagall, whom Hermione befriends.
Harry's exceptionally intelligent post owl. Heroic, but has a bit of an ego.
     The Portrait of a Large Pile of Ash 
An utterly crazy magical portrait created by Luna Lovegood based on a dream she had. Naturally a living Shout-Out to Harry Potter and the Portrait of What Looked Like a Large Pile of Ash.
     King Ragnuk VII 
The Goblin King, Ragnuk VII is a jaded but benevolent ruler.
  • Cool Crown: A beautiful one in Goblin Gold.
  • Original Character: Though there presumably exists a Goblin King in canon.
  • King Bob the Nth: Ragnuk the Seventh. (Ragnuk I was a contemporary of the Founders, per canon.)
  • Requisite Royal Regalia: Averted: one of the first things Hermione notices when meeting the King is that he just has ordinary business robes, aside from his Cool Crown.
  • Royal "We": Uses it to a fault, even though he doesn't otherwise speak in a particularly solemn way.