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Dan (The Man)
The titular character. An Action Hero and Everyman, Dan finds it hard to communicate outside of his limited repertoire of kicking, punching and jumping.
- Does Not Like Shoes: To go with his stereotypical Karate Kid look.
- Fatal Flaw: His impulsive thinking and inability to learn from past mistakes.
- The Hero
- Martial Arts Headband: Wears one.
- Weapon of Choice: While Dan usually just resorts to his fists and has a multitude of ranged weapons, the shiruken seems to be the most common ranged weapon he can get his hands on.
- The Quiet One: He rarely speaks, even though he already managed to level up and learn how to have a speech bubble in Stage 2.
Dan's Girlfriend, an NPC whom decided to help Dan out when he was busy being (literally) curbstomped by a giant robot; after that they pretty much hit it off. Although a small break-up happened when Dan decided to hang out with another player that had a female avatar. After that she cut her hair short and got herself a new shirt.
Two bar buddies whom try to teach Dan on how to make love with Josie in Stage 4. They later on become recurring characters in Stage 8 both in-game and in the official video.
- Grievous Bottley Harm: In the stage 8 Video one of the geezers breaks one of the bottles he's carryong and uses it to beat on of the Cyber Attack Dogs biting Dan.
- Manchild: They're not the most mature adults. We mostly see them drinking, thrusting their pelvises and generally not doing much. Though this a much more positive example as they are genuinelly Nice Guys.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: After the Resistance Leader kills one of them, the other picks up a gun and stars mowing down resistance Mooks, hell-bent on avenging his fallen friend.
- Those Two Guys: Theyre always seen together.
Crude, rude and occasionally nude. The king is completely oblivious to the needs of his people and the evil plots hatched in his name.
A bunch of Ninja-lookalike freedom fighters.
- Big-Bad Ensemble: The leader is ultimately just as bad as the Head Executive, wanting the crown for himself and being willing to kill to get there.
- Highly Visible Ninja: Somewhat Justified, in that they just look like ninjas but are clearly not Ninjas.
- La Résistance: They claim to fight for the peasants.
- The Revolution Will Not Be Civilized: They are willing to kill hordes of people in pursuit of freedom, and their leader ultimately turns out to be a wannabe dictator.
- You Gotta Have Blue Hair: One of the resistance members in Stage 5 has blue hair.
The White Master
An unknown white-colored sprite that seems to look like he belongs in older video games. He serves as the stereotypical sensei character.
The Drunk Guy
A man with a problematic childhood who decides to drown his sorrows in the local pub.
- Abusive Parents: Had one, an alcoholic dad who beat him and killed his mom.
- The Alcoholic
- Back for the Finale: He conducts the train in one of the levels in the game.
- Freudian Excuse: At first, hes introduced as some drunken asshole who punches Dan in the pub. Then its revealed his father was an abusive drunk who killed his mother.
People whom are always on the short end of the stick in the King's list of concerns.
- Butt-Monkey: They're always on the receiving end of the large amount of abuse by the King's Guards.
The Head Executive
The kings right hand man who does a lot of questionable things for profit.
- Big-Bad Ensemble: He is the one behind the kingdoms corruption and the Resistance Leaders main opponent.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Leads a whole group of them, and does things such as enslaving an innocent dragon (and later, the peasants), forcing them to work to provide power/electricity.
- Dirty Coward: Holds Josie hostage in an attempt to escape from Dan.
- Evil Chancellor: Effectively serves as this- he does all the ruling while the King gets drunk and parties all day.
- Four Eyes, Zero Soul: Always seen wearing a pair of shiny glasses.
- The Unfought: In the main story, he is killed by the Resistance Leader. Averted in the Christmas DLC, in which he is the boss of the mode and is fought twice (piloting a Santa mech he stole).
The Dark Master