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    Dan (The Man) 
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dan_1.png
Our Hero
The titular character. An Action Hero and Everyman, Dan finds it hard to communicate outside of his limited repertoire of kicking, punching and jumping.

    Josie 
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/josie_6.png
Dan's Girlfriend, an NPC whom decided to help Dan out when he was busy being (literally) curbstomped by a giant robot; after that they pretty much hit it off. Although a small break-up happened when Dan decided to hang out with another player that had a female avatar. After that she cut her hair short and got herself a new shirt.
  • Action Girl: Considering she's Dan's girlfriend, she has to be.
  • Establishing Character Moment: Her response when the bar she lives in is attacked by a giant robot? Throw rocks at it and then help Dan out when he fights it.
  • Kick Chick: A lot of her moves and specials seem to be kick-based.
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    The Geezers 
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/geezers.png
*Furious Pelvic Thrusting*
Two bar buddies whom try to teach Dan on how to make love with Josie in Stage 4. They later on become recurring characters in Stage 8 both in-game and in the official video.
  • Grievous Bottley Harm: In the stage 8 Video one of the geezers breaks one of the bottles he's carryong and uses it to beat on of the Cyber Attack Dogs biting Dan.
  • Manchild: They're not the most mature adults. We mostly see them drinking, thrusting their pelvises and generally not doing much. Though this a much more positive example as they are genuinelly Nice Guys.
  • Roaring Rampage of Revenge: After the Resistance Leader kills one of them, the other picks up a gun and stars mowing down resistance Mooks, hell-bent on avenging his fallen friend.
  • Those Two Guys: They’re always seen together.

    The King 
Crude, rude and occasionally nude. The king is completely oblivious to the needs of his people and the evil plots hatched in his name.
  • Pointy-Haired Boss: He pretty much does no actual ruling, mainly just getting drunk and partying while his cabinet of executives do all the actual work.
  • Puppet King: It becomes very clear later on that the Head Executive is the real guy running the kingdom.

    The Resistance 
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ninja_7.png
A bunch of Ninja-lookalike freedom fighters.

    The White Master 
An unknown white-colored sprite that seems to look like he belongs in older video games. He serves as the stereotypical sensei character.

    The Drunk Guy 
A man with a problematic childhood who decides to drown his sorrows in the local pub.
  • Abusive Parents: Had one, an alcoholic dad who beat him and killed his mom.
  • The Alcoholic
  • Back for the Finale: He conducts the train in one of the levels in the game.
  • Freudian Excuse: At first, he’s introduced as some drunken asshole who punches Dan in the pub. Then it’s revealed his father was an abusive drunk who killed his mother.
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    Peasants 
People whom are always on the short end of the stick in the King's list of concerns.
  • Butt-Monkey: They're always on the receiving end of the large amount of abuse by the King's Guards.

    The Head Executive 
The king’s right hand man who does a lot of questionable things for profit.
  • Big-Bad Ensemble: He is the one behind the kingdom’s corruption and the Resistance Leader’s main opponent.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: Leads a whole group of them, and does things such as enslaving an innocent dragon (and later, the peasants), forcing them to work to provide power/electricity.
  • Dirty Coward: Holds Josie hostage in an attempt to escape from Dan.
  • Evil Chancellor: Effectively serves as this- he does all the ruling while the King gets drunk and parties all day.
  • Four Eyes, Zero Soul: Always seen wearing a pair of shiny glasses.
  • The Unfought: In the main story, he is killed by the Resistance Leader. Averted in the Christmas DLC, in which he is the boss of the mode and is fought twice (piloting a Santa mech he stole).

    The Dark Master 
A mercenary that is the complete opposite of the White Master.
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