Satan
- Voiced by: Andy Hamilton
- Affably Evil: Zigzags. To most people, he's Faux Affably Evil, often utilizing Exact Words to make people think he's about to give them what they want before making their torments even more painful. To other supernatural beings and the handful of humans he respects, he's Affably Evil; he'll still torture them if they become annoying, but when he's not doing so, he's fairly friendly and can sometimes even act as a caring presence.
- Anti-Hero: After being an outright Villain Protagonist for the first four series, he becomes a Nominal Hero in season 5 when he decides his workload is getting to be too much and starts trying to reduce the amount of sin on Earth so as to reduce overcrowding in Hell.
- Bad Boss: He's not much nicer to his demons than to his captives. He once made Scumspawn eat himself.
- Bad Liar: Ironically, he's terrible at coming up with believable lies.
- Being Evil Sucks: He's borderline suicidal as a result of running Hell.
- Berserk Button: Ambiguity in writing. Satan just generally regards writers as terrible people who have it coming, but ambiguity makes him extremely irritable.
- Card-Carrying Villain: Gets offended at the suggestion that he's not the ultimate evil humans believe him to be.
- Dark Is Not Evil: At least nowhere near as evil as you'd expect him to be, especially compared to Thomas.
- Deadpan Snarker: The main hook of the show is "Andy Hamilton voices a snarky version of the devil."
- Demonic Possession: He mentions doing this a couple of times in early seasons, but later on he claims to find the very idea of entering a human body repulsive. He knows what they get up to.
- The Devil Is a Loser: He's miserable with his work almost to the point of being suicidal, and uses torture and corruption mainly as a mechanism to cope with his own self-hatred.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Usually involving Thomas or the Professor, for different reasons.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He gets a one-shot love interest named Hope in one Christmas special. He also cares more about Scumspawn and the Professor than he lets on.
- Evil Makes You Ugly: Brings up how he used to be a beautiful angellic being before he fell, which has turned him into Andy Hamilton with goat legs.
- Evil Redhead: Possibly. Since it's revealed in Series six that all redheads are of angel descent and vice versa, it stands to reason that all angels are also redheaded. Satan himself says that only the junior angels were redheads, and that as an archangel he had golden hair - but of course he's been demoted quite a bit since then. In the animated pilot he's bald, though he does literally have a red head.
- Fallen Angel: He can still remember the pain when God tore off his wings.
- Green-Eyed Monster: The Professor often notes (to the point of it being a catchphrase) that Satan torments humans because he wants to bring everyone down to his level- he hates himself and his situation and wants everyone to be as miserable as he is. For extra points, Satan is actually described as having green eyes.
- Historical Rap Sheet: A lot of things through human history were his doing. But not all the things the Bible claims he did were, such as the Fall of Man.
- Horrifying the Horror: He horrifies all the other demons, and is himself frightened of the wrath of God.
- Hypocrite: One of the main reasons for his hatred of humans is their refusal to own up to their mistakes, yet he continually objects to any attempt to blame him for his own rebellion against God and subsequent banishment from Heaven.
- I Have Many Names: Satan, Lucifer, Mephistopheles, Old Nick, Old Harry and Simon Cowell.
- Living Mood Ring: At one point when Satan is losing his temper, the Professor notes that his eyes have gone purple; then, a little later, completely black.
- Louis Cypher: We always know who he is, we just don't know who he's pretending to be.
- Missing Reflection: Offhandedly mentions this at one point.
- Noble Demon
- Paper-Thin Disguise: He may be able to change his shape, but humorously, doesn't do much (or often anything) to change his voice. At one point he complains that God saddled him with inflexible vocal cords, so it's likely he actually can't.
- Pay Evil unto Evil: His whole job description, and the reason he doesn't like having "the undeserving damned" around; they cramp his style.
- Pet the Dog: Every now and then.
- Satan: Well, yes.
- The Sleepless: One episode of series four is dedicated to him trying to experience sleep, which he never has before. He's specifically interested in dreaming in order to relive his days as an angel. He succeeds...only to have a nightmare about the fall and swear off sleep altogether.
- Shrouded in Myth: He wasn't the snake in the Garden of Eden, nor was he responsible for Job's misfortunes.
- Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: He is the devil, after all.
- Villains Never Lie: Whenever he makes a claim about science or history that contradicts our current knowledge, it will turn out to be accurate.
- Villain Protagonist
- Voluntary Shapeshifting: His default form is a stereotypical red devil with goat legs, but he can make himself look extra demonic to intimidate people and frequently impersonates human celebrities.
- Worthy Opponent: His opinion of the Professor, and later Edith.
- Wouldn't Hurt a Child: Satan has strict standards of not possessing anyone who isn't old enough to make moral choices, and is thus in one episode is shown to be enraged at fundamentalists who believe a child is possessed by him, and want to beat Satan out of the child.
Thomas Quentin Crimp
- Played by: Jimmy Mulville
- Abusive Parents: He sold at least one of his unwanted children away. This might've been kinder than what he was like for the ones he kept.
- All the Other Reindeer: Was excluded as a little child... because the other children had already noticed he was a creepy, thieving lunatic. And then he killed them for not inviting him to birthday parties.
- Asshole Victim: His primary role in the series is to be subjected to Amusing Injuries, since his activities while alive disgust even Satan his situation doesn’t garner much sympathy.
- The Atoner: Averted. The Professor, and then Scumspawn, spends a lot of time trying to reform Thomas. He doesn't really get it.
- Bad Boss: When he was alive, he drove one of his employees to become suicidal. When he finds this out, he seems to be genuinely remorseful, only to then say that it's her fault anyway for not complaining enough earlier. He also had any who looked depressed fired, in the belief depression might've been communicable (to him).
- Being Evil Sucks: Sort of; it worked out great for him when he was alive, but then he died and went to Hell because of his evil acts.
- Break the Haughty: In life, he was proud of himself for his ability to slime and weasel out of trouble, and is not happy about how in Hell he's routinely punished for this.
- But for Me, It Was Tuesday: He has a truly impressive and horrific rap sheet, which includes pimping and genocide in the same day, and which actually was a slow day for him. He blames the medication he was on.
- Butt-Monkey: Satan's personal punching bag, particularly because Thomas disgusts even him.
- The Casanova: In life, he was pretty successful at seducing women.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Was one when alive.
- Deadpan Snarker: Not as much as Satan, but he does get his moments.
- Defensive "What?": Does this a lot in season two, usually after admitting to something awful.
- Entitled Bastard: Even dead and in Hell for a lifetime of misdeeds, he still expects leniency or forgiveness.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He values his friendship with Scumspawn deeply.
- Evil Cannot Comprehend Good: Basic human decency is just beyond him. He can sort of get that when someone hears something horrible, the correct response is to offer condolences, but he can't get why, and even if he does try it, he usually ruins it by being astoundingly awful in the process.
- Evil Is Petty: He tried to get his parents to divorce. Not because they were awful to him or one another. He just didn't like the idea of other people being happy while he wasn't.
- Evil Redhead: Stated to be red-headed in series six.
- Extreme Omnisexual: Has sexual feelings for cartoon characters and mannequins. As long as they're female, of course.
- Faux Affably Evil: Thomas is Alan B'stard on steroids.
- Forced Transformation: A common punishment is being turned into stuff. Pancakes, piles of sewage, dysentery
- For the Evulz: There is no reason for why Thomas is such a bastard. He just is.
- Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: Among the other excuses he's tried is blaming his upbringing. Satan has absolutely none of it. Flashbacks and trips inside his memory back up Satan's case.
- Hates Being Touched: Including by his own mother, who he regarded as "too common".
- Informed Flaw: Satan claims that Thomas is the most evil human being in all of Hell. While Thomas has perpetrated a number of horrific atrocities, he doesn't really come off any worse than many of the other horrible people that Satan has to deal with. Thomas himself lampshades this in one episode when he asks Scumspawn why Satan considers him worse than Hitler or Stalin.Thomas: At least I didn't kill millions of people!
Scumspawn: He says that's because you hadn't gotten around to it. - It's All About Me: A sociopath, Thomas is pretty much incapable of thinking about others, and on the odd occasion he shows a trace of empathy, he follows up by ruining it with some display of self-absorption.
- Never My Fault:
- After marrying Edith's daughter, he tormented her to the point of insanity. He eventually accepts 3% of the responsibility for the marriage's failure, which Scumspawn notes is 3% more than last time.
- In another episode, Thomas argues that his being in Hell is unfair as his evil acts were predetermined as part of God's plan. God tells him that he doesn't have any plan, and everything humans do wis out of his own free will. Thomas then says that it's still God's fault for being stupid enough to give people like him free will.
- Not-So-Harmless Villain: He's more of a punching bag than a villain by the time of the series. However, in life, he murdered, raped, and tortured god knows how many innocent people, and was able to get away with it completely until Satan found out about it.
- Obnoxious In-Laws: With Edith, having married her daughter and put her through emotional hell.
- Pet the Dog: Usually on behalf of Scumspawn, although he does this literally in season 7.
- Self-Made Orphan: Tried to murder his parents after they refused to buy him a toy he really wanted, even after he threw a screaming tantrum.
- Semi-Divine: His red hair marks him as having angel ancestry, though he has no powers.
- Serial Spouse: He had eight or nine wives, all of whom wound up depressed for some inexplicable reason.
- Snap Back: After spending most of series 6 looking like he might start showing some sort of redeeming value, finding out he's got angel ancestry nukes that.
- The Sociopath: While he does meet a lot of the criteria, the one time anyone diagnoses him, it's Scumspawn using a book, and they come away with the conclusion Thomas has pretty much every psychological condition it's possible to have.
- Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: If Old Harry's Game weren't a comedy series, Thomas's laundry list of crimes would be monstrous. Fortunately, it is a comedy series, and he's dead and in Hell getting his just reward.
- Upper-Class Twit: A particularly malevolent one.
- Villain of Another Story: When he was alive, he murdered, raped, and/or tortured many people, but since he's already gone to Hell by the time of the series he's more of a Butt-Monkey than a villain.
- Villain Protagonist: The focus of most plotlines he's involved in.
Gary
- Played by: Steve O'Donnell
- Affably Evil: Quite polite despite his love of cruelty.
- Butt-Monkey
- Put on a Bus: He is banished from Hell at the end of the first series and is never seen again. He is briefly mentioned by Thomas in a later episode but nothing is said about his current whereabouts.
- The Starscream: Thomas goads him into becoming this in the penultimate episode of season one. Satan nearly lets him succeed out of apathy, but his pride ultimately wins out.
Scumspawn
- Played by: Robert Duncan
- Ambiguously Bi: He confesses his love for Satan, stating that he doesn't "fancy" him ("that would be physical and weird and probably quite dangerous") but loves him in the "widest possible emotional sense". Even Thomas thinks he's a bad picker. In the episode featuring Helen of Troy, he and Helen's friend Daphne kiss. He also says that to have children, he would have needed to be human and have a "life partner".
- Beware the Nice Ones: For all he is a genial sort, Scumspawn is perfectly willing to engage in the routine tortures of Hell, including flaying Thomas's skin off. He might not enjoy it, but he still does it.
- Bumbling Sidekick: Again, to Satan. He's desperate to please, but comically loses control of his powers when he gets nervous (which is pretty much his default state).
- Chaste Hero: His love for his master is totally non-sexual. Then again, it kind of has to be. And to quote him: "demons don't have a sexuality".
- Deathbringer the Adorable: The one demon with a scary name is, by demon standards, a total wuss.
- Determinator: When Roland stages his attempted coup, he immediately orders Scumspawn locked up for being too loyal to Satan. Scumspawn escapes by chewing his feet off and hobbling on the stumps to warn Satan... who'd already instantly seen through Roland's plan anyway.
- Devoted to You: his feelings toward Satan
- Extreme Doormat: He once ate himself because Satan told him to.
- Fallen Angel: Was expelled from Heaven for supporting Satan's rebellion.
- Genius Ditz: He is totally naive and incompetent, but is secretly an incredibly talented musician and artist. At one point, he is able to BUILD ROBOTS.
- Hidden Depths: While mostly seen as a bumbling sidekick, he is able to paint, tap dance, play the saxophone and build lifelike robots.
- Minion with an F in Evil: He tried to terrify the Professor by turning into a monstrous squid...and turned into a giant prawn. Complete with a bed of lettuce. In his downtime, he donates to a donkey sanctuary, collects Furbies and watches Glee. Oh, and he "torments" A.A. Milne by...keeping his teddy bear.
- Morality Pet: For Thomas in later seasons. Just about every time Thomas shows genuine compassion, it's directed at him.
- Non-Indicative Name: A guy named "Scumspawn" who's a complete Minion with an F in Evil.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: Whilst Thomas soon becomes exasperated with the beautiful but vacuous Helen of Troy, Scumspawn has a very pleasant time with her "plain" friend Daphne.
- Token Good Teammate: The only good demon.
- Undying Loyalty: to Satan
- Voluntary Shapeshifting: One of his powers. Unfortunately, he has a bad case of Performance Anxiety and almost never turns into what he was actually going for.
- Yandere: Got very surprisingly territorial about being Satan's number two, including throwing one potential applicant down a bottomless pit.
The Professor
- Played by: James Grout
- Absent-Minded Professor: While extremely intelligent and knowledgeable he is curious to the detriment of all else including his own self preservation. At one point this costs him a chance to enter heaven because he insists on having a theological argument with God himself, unfortunately this version of God isn’t very forgiving.
- Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence: Does so after four series.
- Berserk Button: Anybody casting aspersions on his widow Deborah, or any mention of his former research partner Dickie Freestone.
- Did You Just Flip Off Cthulhu?: He often attempts to assess Satan's psychology. Most of what he comes up with is not very flattering.
- Flat-Earth Atheist: Throughout the first series he refuses to believe he's actually died, thinking he's alive and in a coma after the car crash and Hell is all just a very long and elaborate dream. But by the start of series 2 he appears to have accepted it.
- Gentleman and a Scholar: The Professor is very intelligent but also optimistic, polite and friendly, even to those who don’t return his courtesy.
- Hero Antagonist: In most plotlines involving arguments between him and Satan.
- The Lost Lenore: In a rare inversion, the still-living Deborah is the Lost Lenore for the deceased Professor.
- Morality Pet: Essentially is this for Satan.
- Wide-Eyed Idealist: His idealism is shattered only once during all four seasons of torment. He gets over it.
- Straight Man
- Token Good Teammate: The only non-evil character in the main cast until Scumspawn appears.
- Worthy Opponent: To Satan, who mostly refrains from tormenting him other than by trying to disprove his positive view of humanity.
God
- Played by: David Swift/Timothy West
- Affably Evil: Is generally respectful of those he speaks to, wishes his angels were more willing to lighten up and joke around and frequently sends people to Hell for little-to-no reason.
- Attention Whore: He gets pretty stroppy if he thinks people aren't grovelling sufficiently.
- Bad Boss: Has lost interest in his creation and frequently delegates various tasks to incompetent underlings, in addition when hearing of the overcrowding in hell he refuses to take any action to help alleviate the issue and states that it is "Not His problem". Then he makes Hell's problems worse, just 'cuz.
- Berserk Button: Don't question whether he's the one true god or not, or call him by his real name-Nigel.
- Jerkass: When asked to give Hell more room because things are getting cramped, he not only refuses, but then makes Hell smaller out of spite.
- King of All Cosmos: For the supreme being, he's... er, a little off. As he freely admits, his omniscience is less "omni" these days, as he's stopped paying attention to all those prayers, and generally only follows cricket anymore. He also gets suckered by an automated phone call.
- Papa Wolf:
- Don't mention Jesus. He's still a little sore about that mess. Doing so will make him go on a rant.
- He's also still nursing a grudge against Herod, and on one visit to Hell Satan points out where he is, in case God's interested...
- Shrouded in Myth: He's not actually omniscient, and most of the miracles in the Bible never actually happened.
- Wacky Parent, Serious Child: Has a lot of difficulty socialising with Jesus, who is apparently always serious, something he's pretty bothered about.
Edith Cordelia Barrington
- Played by: Annette Crosbie
- Cool Old Lady: She has a very Stern Teacher-esque attitude, and maintains it even around Satan.
- Death Glare: Satan notes that she has a pretty good severe look.
- Determinator: As Satan notes 'arguing with her is like... well, it's like cornering a badger'.
- Horrible Judge of Character: She doted on her young niece when she was alive and thought they had a special bond. In fact the girl's parents had encouraged her to suck up to Edith to gain a large inheritance, and she grows up to become shallow, selfish and willing to take a bribe from a corrupt bookie to lose a race at the Olympics.
- Never Suicide: The police and Satan assume she committed suicide, but she's quite adamant she didn't. It eventually turns out her best friend murdered her out of insane jealousy.
- Outdated Name: In Satan's opinion, at least.
- The Perfectionist: Has a bad case of this. After completing Satan's biography, she convinces herself that it's garbage and demands another writer in Hell find some criticism of it. When he tentatively suggests deleting one adverb, she tears the whole manuscript to shreds.
- Rage Against the Heavens: She tries calling out God to His face. He eventually gives up and leaves, though not before giving Edith leprosy as a parting act of spite.
- Renaissance Man: An Olympic fencer, award-winning historian and noted humanitarian - plus a cross-country skier, scuba diver and the first woman to walk solo to the North Pole. Her father had high standards, apparently.
- Suspiciously Similar Substitute: introduced after the Professor leaves and plays a similar role. Played with in that there are notable differences between the two characters; where the Professor's idealism comes from trying to find the bright side of every situation, Edith's comes more from romanticizing certain people, ideas, and events while seeing no good in others. Also, while The Professor came to be fairly well-liked even by the villains, Edith is tolerated at best by most of the other characters.
- Straight Man: Inherits the role from the Professor, though she's not terribly happy about it.
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: Implied to be why she's such an overachiever.
Jane Austen
- Played by: Felicity Montagu
- Ax-Crazy: After a lifetime of repression, she's ready to punch anyone in sight.
- Eviler than Thou: She's bullied Napoleon and Hitler into following her.
- Football Hooligans: Turns out she's a football fan, and as vicious about that as she is everything else.
- The Lad-ette: Has a scorpion tattoo on each arm, "hate" tattooed on her knuckles, and is generally foul-mouthed and violent.
- Really Gets Around: Within twenty minutes of arriving in Hell, she'd beaten up several demons, then screwed an entire army, followed by some debauchery with Catherine the Great, which she's still disappointed about.
- Shrouded in Myth: She's absolutely nothing like you'd expect from her work, or even from historical accounts.
Adolf Hitler
- Never My Fault: He maintains that the Holocaust was merely overreacting to being filmed in the shower, and he blames his failed invasion of Russia on Jesse Owens. When the Professor was interviewing famous dead people to write a history book, he mentions talking to a Nazi who claimed he was just following orders; three guesses which Nazi this turned out to be.
- Unseen Evil: He's the most frequently mentioned out of all the historical figures, but he almost never speaks, is never spoken to, and other than one scene where he is explicitly in disguise, is never even spoken about in such a way that one can infer his presence.
Roland Kingworthy
- Played by: Geoffrey Whitehead
- Big Bad Wannabe: Thinks he can overthrow Satan after flattering him. This goes as well as can be expected.
- Dark and Troubled Past: His effortless charm comes from having gone to boarding school, with all the bullying and sexual assault that entails. Satan figures his eventually fate will be pretty familiar because of that.
- Evil Brit
- Fate Worse than Death: Is cast into a bottomless void for his ambition.
- Manipulative Bastard: Being able to sucker the demons isn't difficult. Being able to get a total bastard like Thomas is. However, he's effortlessly outdone by Satan.
- Obviously Evil: Satan had him pegged as trouble right from the off. Even if he wasn't, y'know, in Hell, there's his effortless charm... and the fact he wears a cravat, which according to Satan was a dead giveaway.
Nero
- Played by: Philip Pope
- A God Am I: Claims to be a god.
- Horrifying the Horror: When he's temporarily put in charge of Hell, his cruelty horrifies even the demons.
- One-Shot Character
Chuckles the dolphin
- Intelligible Unintelligible: Speaks like an actual dolphin, but Satan understands him.
- Kick the Dog: He devises a plan to break the Professor's spirit by making it look like his wife has already moved on, and is now seeing his former partner.
- Known Only by Their Nickname: Chuckles is not his actual name, but since he's a dolphin his proper name, and its shortened version, are unpronounceable to any non-speaker of dolphin.
- One-Shot Character: Only appears in one episode.
- Sapient Cetaceans: Dolphins are the only other creatures on Earth with enough moral awareness to be damned.
- Shoot the Dangerous Minion: Satan considers making Chuckles his second-in-command, but decides he's too cunning to be trusted and disintegrates him.
- Would Hurt a Child: He killed five child actors while on the set of the Flipper remake.
