Funny: cs188

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    Pooping The Charts 

Pooping the Charts is a compilation video series of mashup music videos that have been heavily edited (and manipulated) by cs188. Each video link goes to a video uploaded by a different user as shown on the link, which certain parts on the user's video may have been minor edited for no reason.

    Musical YouTube Poops 

    Everything else 
  • My Little Porno: Friendship with Benefits
    • The beginning:
    Rainbow Dash: Louder.
    Fluttershy: Yay.
    Rainbow Dash: Louder.
    Fluttershy: Yay.
    Rainbow Dash: (so quiet that she's barely audible) LOUDER! (lol I did the exact opposite of what you expected)
    Fluttershy: (inhales deeply while sucking a whole watermelon) Yaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
    (Fluttershycheer.exe has stopped working)
    Jack Black: Look, we can go inside! (walks towards Fluttershy with a censored erection)
    Elmo: Stop!
    Jack: Aww man! Okay, Elmo, you cock blocker!
    • "My little PENIS frieeeeeennnnndddds~!"
    • "Ugh! Here I thought I'd have time to learn more about the Elephants of Harmony, but silly me, all this ridiculous dick-sucking and butt-fucking has kept me from it!"
    • "I am so frustrated, I could just scream. Jizz Cream." [Deep Breath] "A meme." [REAL BIG DEEP BREATH!]
    • "Don't worry, Spike, we'll all get to suck some dick together. LAWL LAWL~"
    • Uh oh
      Twilight Sparkle: I just hope Princess Celestia isn't upset with us for jizzing in the salad.
      Princess Celestia: FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!
    • The following line, which has essentially become a meme:
    Celestia: Oh twat! The Grand Gralloping Grala is gralways grawful! That's why I was thrilled you were not sober!
    • "This country owes its very existence to the strength and courage of mesothelioma, a disease uniquely linked to mesothelioma. Fortunately, many worked in areas contaminated by asbestos. Attention: if you or a loved one was diagnosed with amoilehtosem, you may be entitled to die. Shitting in the automotive industries may have put you at risk. Please, play Risk. Call 1-800-90-90-90-90-90-"
    • "Could you fuck 15 cats under a rock?"
    • And this little gem:
      Geico Guy: Is Gaben really fat?
      Gabe Newell: Uh, no.
      Geico Guy: Bullshit, you smartass! (lulz now episode 3 is never coming)
    • Jack Black pleasuring Fluttershy.
      Jack: Awesome! Awesome! Glorious! -Fluttershy letting out soft screams-
      Elmo: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh...
      Jack: OK, Elmo- Wait a minute! 1, 2, 3... we found an orgy!
      • "EIGHT STUNNING ANGLES!"
    • Hearing Fluttershy singing "Killing In The Name" is oddly hilarious.
      Fluttershy: MOTHERFUCKER!!
  • Fascism is Magic (Age Restricted)
  • No one needs foundation repair, possibly his most famous one:
    • "When you need foundation repair, you want foundation repair. And you'd like to save a lot of money, right? And you'd like to suck a lot of cock, right? Then you should call HoH SiS."
    • "You want the JoJ."
    • "If I had to do it all over again, and had to take bids all over again, I would still do it all over again."
    • "And even though there's only a tiny cock, they'll fuck you, as long as your cock is standing. 100% guaranteed cum in your ass."
    • The ending, with the Hotel Mario cutscenes:
      (Mario hammers a "condemned" sign onto a building)
      Mario: That oughta do it!
      (castle crumbles to the ground)
      Mario: Shit, Luigi! We gotta do it all over again!
    • Want to do it all over again? Well, this is the Stupid Statement Dance Mix version.

  • Robots having sex all over the arena floor; one of his most underrated poops in this troper's opinion.
    • "Let's go to our battleboard and get our battleboard!
    • The reporter and the teams in the pregame show.
      Basenji: Well the $@#* is to lift them up with the PINGAS, push him around and avoid those nasty ass cutting things on the front.
      Reporter: Sounds like COCK.
    • The Darkness team's pregame report is pure gold.
      Member 1: How ya doing I'm Scott Millenbaugh, and this is my good friend Scott Millenbaugh and uh, we're here to '''BLEEP''' some robots, eh, we're GAY. And this is Darkness here with our driver, Scott Millenbaugh
    • "The dog gets LAID!"
    • The post game is even better!
      Mick Foley: Basenji was boned.
      Basenji: Well, I thought I was doing well until I completely f***ed up.

  • This poop; the first part of it is mediocre and nothing special, but then his praise of HoH SiS switches to a rape testimony.
  • Michael Becomes Increasingly Explicit, a hilarious recount of Michael Rosen's graphic childhood.
    • "My dad said that after the war, people all came home to keel over and die. There weren't gonna be anymore people, there weren't gonna be anymore crackhouses, there wasn't gonna be any more Walmart." (see: crack house)
    • "Look out the window! There's a window!" (i know you were all just DYING for me to use this joke again)
    • "So my mum is doing my dad, and my dad wants really big tits in his mouth."
    • "My mum died in the street, and everything was lovely once again."
    • "When I was one, I was drinking spit! When I was two, I ate a red shoehorn! When I was three I started rolling up little blunts! When I was four, I ate my hamster! When I was five, I ate a steak!" (EXPLICIT LEVEL INCREASING) "When I was six, I was breathing in queef!" (sniffs and sighs awkwardly) "When I was seven, I rubbed syrup on my sister's really big nipples. *pop* Nice."
    • "My dad's waiting for me to say something! I'm hoping he'll keel over and die!"

  • Ron Pitts Bakes a Super Manly Fudge Pie in his Pants
    Really?

  • Bill Nye's Big Dick Theory

  • Gaston Pleasures Himself to the Sound of His Own Voice.

  • Legends of the XXX Temple (Part 2- TEMPLE RUN)
    • The lead-in to the show's theme (you know, when the camera is pushing through the jungle leaves) perfectly seguing into "Never Gonna Give You Up".
    • "Are you ready, Olmec?"
      • (beat) "Mexican cock."
    • "Everyone knows that an Indian's residence of choice was a PENIS."
    • "One partner from each teeeeeeam will fasten his flap to the pole, and get ready to fasten his flapping DICK!! to the pole, and get ready to go back down onto his partner's long cock!"
      • Wait a minute...both players have a penis? That can end only two ways...
    • "But before we get started, we're gonna hear a bunch of bull SHIT!!!"
    • "Spin the ship's wheel, and you can descend into the shit. There, you must have sex...in the ass...with Kirk Fogg!"
      • "If you escape..."
    • "And the doorway may open by running into the sign." *CLANG* "Ha ha ha ha ha!" *CLANG* "Ha ha ha ha ha!"
    • "If the correct door is opened, you can crawl into the King's ass!"
    • "She's gotta swing out on the rope and knock down the cock!"
    • "Into the room of the ancient whoas and-" *screams* "OHHHHHH SHIT!!!!" "Caught by a Pedobear!"
    • "You two fucked yourselves, right?"
    • "For just going into the temple, you get NOTHING! You LOSE!

  • OMABA'S NEW WORLD ORDER ACID TRIP, cs188's 20,000 subscriber video, is hilarious from beginning to end.
    • The opening, which features a blatant Flanderization of his typical works:
      • "It's called the American JoJ Act. The American JoJ Act is simple. Pass this JoJ plan right away. Ass ass ass ass. Cocks cocks cocks cocks. Dicks dicks dicks dicks. Masturbation masturbation. Cum cum cum cum. And the tits tits tits tits. Pass this JoJ and we'll create more JoJ for construction workers, more JoJ for teachers, more JoJ for veterans—" (eject) "It's freakin' horrible. I can't use this, it's terrible."
      • "The video sucked immensely, so cs188 decided to make a new one."
    • But what really sells it is Obama's speech afterward:
    • It was a 'house fly' (bad joke)
    • "We need more ladders more ladders more ladders"
    • "Our highways are clogged with—" EAR RAPE
    • "You are tearing me apart, Congress!"
    • "We need to ask people to choose between Contra and Crysis"
    • "I'm sending this Congress to Hell!"
    • "Weenie!note " "Stop! Stop! Stop the political circus!"
      • :(
    • "Spending by about a trillion billion million thousand dollars over the next ten trillion years."
    • "Now we're going to sit back and watch some faggot installing Windows."
    • "It will provide rules that keep our kids exposed to Mercury" (Picture of Mercury with a sign saying "UR KIDS R SEXY" on its surface pops up)
    • "And I'M PRETTY— I'm pretty sure I know that cs188 is a brony!"
    Johnny: It's not true, it's bullshit!

  • Billy Mays Promotes Hardcore Drug Addiction
    Billy's Mom: Billy, what are you doing?
    Billy Mays: Nothing!
    Billy's Mom: Are you jacking off to Billy Mays again?
    Billy Mays: No, go away!
    • "Introducing the Big City Drug Station! The fast and easy way to get your fix! Loaded with my favorites; mushrooms, cocaine, weed, ecstasy, and heroin!"
    • (*Instructional Video Missing*) "Heroin is as easy as 1-2-3; inject it into the areas that provide pressure relief where you need it most!"
    • "Stop watching Family Guy and start streaking!"
    • "With drugs, you'll finally be saying: 'I can bathe in my own excrement!' And excrement is something I'm really passionate about; take a look at this shit, it's a doozy!"

  • Billy Mays sells the Hercules Dildo to your Mom
    "YouTube Poop - The easy way to make you laugh at just about anything!"
    • "I love super strong dicks, don't yo-o-o-ou...o-o-o-o— It takes the hard work out of hard work!"
    • "Just attach it to any size dick, pull the trigger, and—"
      • "NOITATS REDILS YTIC GIB!!!!"
    • "Make your dog healthy dick burgers with ease! Just pee on Billy Mays! And in just two minutes, you'll have five mouthwatering DICKS!"
    • The Billy Mays drive-thru scene:
    Worker: Good morning, may I help you?
    Billy Mays: Hi, Billy Mays here! How you doing?
    Worker: Oh hiiii! How are you?
    Billy Mays: Good! I'd like to order the burnt-on cheese! Thank you very much! This is Billy Mays, and I'm pulling over to get my shit!
    Billy Mays: Hey! Young lady? Thank you very much! FUCK YOU KID, YOU'RE A DICK!
    • "Don't pay a fortune to have a prostitute! When term papers get boring..."
    • "Big cocks travel along this wire to the back of your asshole!"
    • "Call now and you'll get the HERCULES DILDO! Moms are gonna love it! It's so easy, even your kids can use the HERCULES DILDO - the most delicious cock I've ever sucked! It's got the strength and the muscle to penetrate rock hard clay, cut through the thickest roots, and easily power out rocks and stubborn stumps! Now that's super strong—gnorts—strong—"
      • (King Hyrule sucks Billy's penis) "I wonder what's for dinner?"
    • "And when you're done, clean-ups are a breeze. Call now and you'll also receive our handy stick-up light—" (WTF BOOM)
      • "OH FUCK!!!!"

  • Bill Nye gets High in the Mountains (This one is age-restricted, although you can view it without an account at this link):

  • WHY NOT TAKE A SIMPLE STEP?

  • Billy Mays Is Watching Your Mom In The Shower
    Billy Mays: (smashes TV that was airing iCarly) iCarly sucks!

  • BUTCHA GOTTA CALL NOW.
    • "Have you been turned on by kids before? Are you doing a kid in your bed right now? You fucking pedo! I'll poop on your dog! Join the craze with me, Billy Mays, and poop on your dog!"
    • "Talk to one of our friendly and caring licensed assholes—" (cue picture of Vince Offer) "—who'll'ohw... who'll help you decide which penis to SHOVE UP YOUR ASS!!"
    • "Microscopic shit agents that penetrate your back, restoring the pain to your life."
    • "You'll get to talk with pickles, onions, ketchup, or cheese!"
    • "You get our amazing sex in less than ten seconds! It's just not easy. Z. Z."
    • "Look at that... horse." "To order your horse, have your credit card ready and call one-one-one-one-one-one-one-one-"
    • "I love toilet sandwiches with semen ketchup, or sucking big bulky cock, or both!"

  • DIY = (Don't) Do It Yourself
    • "Hi! I'm High!"
    • "All this will do is help you steady I. M. Meen so it doesn't go dancing around on you."
    • "I'm Bone Marrow with cs188ElectricSex.com, and I'm here to strip for you." (Unfortunately, this part is just too sexy to show)
    • "You get a power strip and it has 5, 6, 7, 8 stunning outlets in one. This power strip is an octagon!" (I don't think Jack's too bright.)
    • "If you can use a drill, you can use—" (BOOM)
    • "Hello, my name is AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
    • "When they start to mature, they begin to take over the garden. The pot that you've, uh, planted—" (Wait, what was that?) "The pot that you've, uh, planted" (Okay, now this is getting interesting)
      • "So it's really important that you smoke a large, floor-size bowl. It's important to take into account uh, a lot of times you're getting —High!"
    • "Today I'm showing you how to get HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH HIGH"

  • YOUR SINK IS THE BATHROOM.
    • FAAF! omnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom
    • Farrah Faucet: Interior Interiorist
    • "You can change flow and flow and Flo and flowolf..."
    • "Single handle fa-af FA-AF!! are available in single-hole, or widespread-hole, or HoH SiS!"
    • "wwwwWall-mounted faucets come in really shit styles, like a single handle MOM"
    • "…gold, bronze, and even black. AND EVEN BLACK."
    • "…your teeth, washing your face!" *overused joke
    • "Among the among the choices for browsers, Chrome is a favorite. It comes in Titanic." (picture of the Titanic appears) "…shiny heinie…" (picture of a butt appears) "…brushed matte version. Noi—Jergen." (Jergens lotion appears)
    • "Nickelsh!t is also very popular for GAAAAAAA-AAAAAAYYYYY! ...and cums and cums and cums on your faucet." (it's so immature of me but I don't care)
    • "Vessel-style sinks need to be matched with either a faucet with tall hands and an extra-high arc spout, or a Walrusguy arc spout."
    • "The sheehs—the sheer number of poops out there can be mind-boggling, but don't despair. This video's designed to be mind BOGGLE-ing."
    • "With a little uh-h-h-h-h under your belt, you'll be able to enjoy oral—"
      • SO SEXY
    • "It's easy to fall in love with a pervert."
    • "I pray at the sink all day! FUUF!"

  • TUB BUDDY WITH TILT

  • "Billy Mays' Career In Television Hits a Record Low"
    • "Are you fed up with trying to find a Lightroom in a dark room? Are you tired of slicing onions with your powerful dropping erection?"
    • "Billy Mays here for Mighty Drills, the easy way to rebuild the damaged tool to work like new!" [trowel breaks] "Fucking handle!"
    • "What if you had the power to spray diarrhea all over your car's windshield at over 100 miles an hour? Introducing the Shit Bazooka! Inside is hundreds of fecal matter!"
    • "I love Metalocalypse, don't you?"
    • (It's Cocaine!) "Look at this! Watch as Billy Mays snorts a year's supply of white powder in just two minutes! You'll be amazed at just how much powder I use every week!" (Inb4 "WTF, that's not funni!")
    • "And here's the best part: we'll send you a 32 ounce bottle of Billy Mays' Sex Liquids free whenever you need them, plus three extra large wank towels every week to clean the mess out of your mattress!"
    • "They're not only soft, but tough enough to get the JoJ."
    • "Order my shit right now or we'll cut your cock in half!"
    • "What do you do when you wanna watch your favorite YTP re-enactments? Check out radicalfaith360!"

  • A Michael Rosen Christmas

  • Ritt Momney Exterminates Freedom
    • "The day's a good day for America. Paul Ryan will provide our workers with the skills to cut the children with a saw...." (cue saw and heavy metal rock music) "JOIN ME!"
    • "Americans woke up this morning with the U.S. Ambassador. It's never too early for Libya to attack Americans, and to defend their values. The United States remains a dangerous place, and American leadership still remains a dangerous leadershit."
    • "Last several years we've stood witness to my cock spinning out of control." (cue "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)")
    • "People across America are grateful for Allstate and Ford."
    • "We respect our Constitution, we stand for the principles our constitution constitutes, we encourage our constitution to understand and respect words of our constitution. Because we recognize that these constitutions are the ultimate constitution."
    • "We cannot hesitate to impregnate loved ones."
    • "Upwards I extend my weiner."
    • "I was hard last night from the ASSHOLE INTERCOURSE with Paul Ryan."
    • Paul Ryan As V.P. Rick...Paul Ryan ASPPPRICK
      • ♥~
    • "We have confidence in condemning freedom for individuals around the world.
    • "Flexta McSignals. FLEXTA MCSIGNALS My-my-my-my cock cannot shrink. My-my-my-my cock is disgusting. It breaks the hearts of all of us."

  • Obama Sh!ts in the Gulf on National Television
    • "Because there's never been a Weegee this size."
    • "On April 20th, an explosion ripped through my ass. Shit began spewing into the water."
    • "Tomorrow, I will meet with the chairman of BP to inform him that he is a cunt."
    • The "BP Lies" song.
    • "We will make steak."
    • "We've directed BP to pee."
    • "We need to know the facts before we allow the facts to be known by the American people." (Record Needle Scratch) "Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit."
    • "Over the last decade, I've touched millions of governors' prostates."
    • "Two minutes—TO MIIIIIIIIIIDNIGHT~!"
    • "The sadness and the anger they feel is not just about the money they lost. It's about the money they lost. It's about ring around the toilet. It's about oral sex. It's about dirt and debris. It's about too many toasters."
    • "They're ready to help train the beaches, clean response workers, or even help toast toast."
    • "And I want pie. The American people deserve pie."

  • Michael gets horny at the hospital

  • Anthony Sullivan's Apocalypse Bulb
  • Vince Gets a Mess Stuck in Your Carpet
    • "My pussy is slippery when wet!"
    • "You're gonna get sticky in a quickie when you use Vince Offer!"
    • "Alien ladies, you always wanted to kill your husband." (cue the wife throwing knives into her husband) "You get the little sticky leftover husband particles deep in the carpet. You don't want this stuff in your carpet, guys."
    • Twice, he loops the video of a woman using the Big Schticky near a kitty litter box, then sets it to music. The result makes it look like the cat is bobbing its head to the music.
    • "Stop wasting over $100 a year on silicone ladies!" (Hookers)
    • "Call now. Wow."

  • Steve Ballmer Sells Clean Windows
    • "Now we can take this Weegee and paste it right into this Ferrari!"
    • Boomerang Ballmer
    • "Except in Nebraskaska."

  • STEVE BALLMER SELLS DIRTY WINDOWS
    • "MS dox.executive, an important calendar, a card file, a nigger, a clock, a control panel, and...can you believe it...TOTALLY NUDE WOMEN!
    • "Order Gay Sex today! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!"
    • "Now, paste my asshole! {No thanks Mr. Ballmer} COME OOOOOOOON!"
    • "How much do you love cs188?"

  • Billyception
    Billy Mays: Hi, it's Billy.
    Jupiter Jack!Billy: Hi, it's Billy. What are you doing in my car?
    Billy Mays: No, it's my car!
    Jupiter Jack!Billy: No, it's my car, I guarantee it!
    Billy Mays: No, not anymore.
    Jupiter Jack!Billy: Go fuck yourself with the Hercules Hook!
    Billy Mays: No problem.
    Jupiter Jack!Billy: I'm gonna take an incredible shit in your kitchen, right on your stove!
    Billy Mays: Be there in two minutes. See ya!

  • PRESIDENTIAL ELIMINATION DAY
    • "If you're paying women, I want to bring the paying rates down, and we'll continue to pay men hired."
    • "We're gonna bring the pipe lined in from 7-Eleven and Macy's...."
    • "You stood in front of a plant, and pointed at it and said peel this plant!"
    • "Governor Romney, SHUT UP."
    • "Governor Romney said. law enforcement officers could sto-o-o-o-o-o-o-op folks because they suspected maybe they look like Big Bird. Is it fair, for someone like you making 20 million trillion thousand a year to pay a lower tax rate than somebody making $50 a year?"
    • "'Cause the economy was on The Verge of collapse! Because we were about to collapse! It's conceivable that Governor Romney could collapse!"
    • "Women full of binders."
    • "Women need Big Bird for Planned Parenthood."
    • "When I hear Governor Romney say he's a big asshole..."
    • "Top 5% of taxpayers will continue to pay 5% of the women—"
      • "You're such a sketchy Etch-A-Sketch."
    • "Lil' Billy Bedwetter Bill"
    • "I care about Flexta McSignals."
    • "Governor Romney doesn't have a five-point plan. He has an one-point plan and that is to wipe out China."
      • "He's right. President Obama's right-right-right-right..."
    • "...On that note, we have come to an end of Barack Obama and Governor Mitt Romneyeyeyey."
    • "And production on gas is down. Production on government land is down." (Cue stupid statement mashup mix)

  • Daffy Duck takes LSD to perform fellatio on a rubber chicken
    • "Stand back, motherfuckers! They shall sample my sample!"
    • "Daffy Duck, he fucked an igloo.." *loud grunting and groaning noises* SCENE MISSING (Always wear a rubber, kids :)
    • "YOU SLUT!"
    • Daffy singing "Hey, Soul Sister".
    • "...Nigga?" *Note: It doesn't really sound like it, but the caption onscreen sells it anyway, and it's arguably funnier because of its uncertainty.*
    • "A CLOSEUP, YOU FUCK! A CLOSEUP!"
    • Daffy fighting with the falling ceiling and eventually standing under it like he did at the beginning. "lol daffy accepts defeat"
    • "If you weren't me, I'd fuck you right in the pussy!" "Don't let that stop ya, jackass!"
    • Daffy's parachute being erased and replaced with Bill O'Reilly.
    • "Stand back, Bulshiteers!"
    • Daffy entering the Mushroom Kingdom and looking utterly confused.

  • Vegeta wasn't expecting that... It has to be seen to be believed.

  • The Chronicles of Rage-icalfaith360
    • "What do you do when you wannawannawanna watch your favorite diarrhea re-enactments?"
    • "Radicalfaith360 is doing drugs right now!"
    • The awkward Pepsi scene. Listen to your mom right now.
    • "I love fecal matter! I'll shit anywhere!" [Metal Gear Solid enemy noise] "That's the power of the Big Toilet City!"
    • The Rugrats sequence.
    "Stu....what are you doing?!"

  • Empire Carpet Sells Prostitutes and Toasters

  • Bill Nye Is Going To Run Out Of Molecules

  • Escape from HOH SIS
    Narrator: [Interrupting Richard eating ice cream] Richard, do you want the joj?
    Richard: No. I no longer need the joj.
    Narrator: [As Richard's lower lip quivers] But, you need foundation repair...
    Richard: Not anymore.
    Narrator: [As Richard's eyes grow bigger and bigger] But, you want the joj the first time, right?
    Richard: Never. [Walks off the screen]
    Narrator: Dammit! Come back right now, you asshole, and say you want the joj!
    • Wesley driving off the narrator with a gun.
      Wesley: I'm a very up-front guy and I'm gonna hafta tell ya how it's gotta be done [holds up a gun and cocks it] so I don't have to come back out here.
      Narrator: Holy fuck!
    • "And you're outta money, right? Call HoH SiS right now for a FreerF!"

  • We're Looking Into The Future, Chuck
    • GOOD LONG MANHOOD
    • "Chuck, could you shoot yourself?" "It's only Kurt Cobain."
    • "Oh, boy! Ham!" (starts chopping the heck out of the ham) "Chuck, could you shoot yourself?"
    • (parents walk out the door) "...is it this Friday?"
    • "We're looking into the future, Chuck. Young man, you're going to be here." (cue picture of Chuck's grave)
    • "Table manners are silly"
    • (And now for some complimentary explicitness that you might have been waiting for)
      • "Say you're having sex with your boss for pleasure and relaxation. Say he's thinking about a good sex position; put your dick in the boss's ass. Would you give the JoJ?"
      • "At least you can fuck your mother. It's only common courtesy." [Cue Imagine Spot of Chuck humping the mother] "Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck..."
    • Stupid Statement Dance Mix at the end.

  • Paula Peen Consumes Family Members on the FooF Network
    • "Get a free $2 gift card when you buy 10 Caribbean menus"
    • "That's right, f**k you! Hurruh! HurryrruH! Free trays! Only at G.I. JOJ!"
    • "She taught me how to make my worst pot of chicken...I dumped everything out."
    • "My cooking is passing gas."
    • "It's really important that you get a big raaack. I'll never forget the day I had a big raaack." *color bars*
    • "I think the simpler things in life are associated with death."
    • "There's three ingredients: plain corn meal, sauce (*Sorry, I couldn't resist), and Grandma. And you can hear my grandmother sizzling."
      • "PAULA ANN! HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?!"
    • "The food is really kind of a vehicle."
    • "My grandmother tastes the best. Look at that horse." (Yes, I do realize how old that is. AND I DON'T CARE) "She was so good. I never realized just how tasty my grandmother was."
    • "Super long taco boner to satisfy a big tight ass."
    • "Introducing the 99-cent Super Pooper Taco!"
    • "COCKO BELL"
    • "I can taste my mother — that beautiful, red-headed woman — standing on her stove, flipping the bird."
    • "The food is really kinda hairy."
  • Billy Mays blows his load on all your clothes

  • I SENT AND INTERNET AND JIZZED IN TRADITIONAL WAYS

  • CLEARASIL OVERNIGHT WAW. It's short, so:
    It's 10 PM, and Kate's peeing while she sleeps.
    And the next day, Kate gets redness and pimples long after she's washed her vagina.
    And the next day, Kate behaves differently at night.
    And the next day, Kate's taking a long-ass shit.
    And the next day, Kate hates seals.
    And the next day, Kate shits on seals.
    And the next day, scientists shit on Kate's face while she sleeps.
    And the next day, Kate keeps peeing on scientists' faces.
    The result: rer Clearasil overnight waw.

  • Flatulence. Another short one:
    It happens. You rip a giant fart right in your mom's face! And I'm not talkin' about some small toot. I'm talking about a real storm-force load that smells like a real-live skunk! And it's so strong, you kill Mom in no time! NOW THAT'S SUPER STRONG fart.

  • OBAMA WIPES UP THE YOUTUBE SH!TDOWN

  • The Bad Prince of Breaking Fresh Wind
    • "Now this is a story all about how my life got fucked up so bad, and I'd like to take a shit right in my chair, I'll tell you how I became the princess of a town called Balls."
    • "In West Uncle Phil-adelphia one day, I started shooting some people in my neighborhood."
    • "And my mom got scary and said, 'You're moving with your auncle and untie in Bel Air."
    • "…and then she gave me my ticket, I said might as well stick it up my ass."
    • "Yo, this is badass. Drinking paint out of a champagne glass."
    • "I whistled for a cab, and when it came near, the cab ran over a cat. If anything I could say that this cat would not be all right. I put my Walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it into the sewer', but I thought 'Nah, forget it'"
    • SHEESH
    • "…you gotta get up first thing in the morning, head out to Ames."
    • "Dinner is served, lube-a-lot bam-boom!"
    • "Here are the condiments for your fish: tartar sauce, dill sauce, lemon sauce, cock sauce, dick sauce, arsely butt sauce, sauce, sauce."
    • FFFFFFFTTT "Is that gas?"
    • "What haaaappened is that I shit on the living room rug, that's what happened. This total butt malfunction."
    • "Pull out the hose — Pull out the hose — Pull out the hose —"
    • "I have been having sex on the living room rug with your uncle this entire time, but I did it for very gay reasons." (*worst splice of "gay" anybody has ever heard) "Yum."
    • "Now listen, I gotta shit this morning. Here we go." (Winnebago Man enters a porta-potty) "It's gonna be very hot, very uncomfortable for everybody." (farting noises) "God damn diarrhea! I gotta just keep shitting, a full five inches that you can put up your fucking ass if you want to."
    Winnebago Man: I don't want anymore of the fucking Doors ["Break On Through" starts playing] No more Doors. [Jim Morrison appears, singing] FUCK OFF! [Hit with a brick] No more Jim Morrison.
    Joey Fatone: It's time to play FamilimaF FeueF! Give it up for Steve Harvey!
    Steve Harvey: Hey, welcome to fast food, everybody! I'm your man, Steve Manly. It's the Poor family! The Top 6 answers on the board. Name something that might get broken if a wife catches her husband cheating.
    Chris: Vase.
    Steve: Vase?
    (board starts to reveal "A glass/vase/dish", then turns it back over as the buzzer sounds)
    Amy: His cock.
    Steve: His cock!
    (board reveals "His 'dong'/nose/body")
    • "Dikekike's 15 inch cock sex center orange insurance."
    • "Why do I got a sudden urge to sh[bleep] my drawers?"
    • "You're athletic too? I should've known by your bulging foreskin!" "They do draw stairs."
    • The scene with the Winnebago Man as Flappy Bird.
    Winnebago Man: "FLY fly FLY fly FLY fly" *smack* "Jesus Christ. Gotta do it again, right now." Fly FLY fly FLY fly FLY *smack* "Shit. That ain't funny anymore. FLY fly FLY fly FLY fly" *smack* "God damn sus of a bitch!"
    • "Lettuce get the fuck out of here."
    • "I need a way to shohs. Did I make a steak? Did I sus too loud? Did I leave my life to chance or did I shit my fucking pants ants ants ants? Fucking blow the cock blow the cock sex sex I'm cummin' I'm cummin' sex sex cock cock cock"
    • The Breaking Bad / Billy Mays end scene.
    Billy Mays: Hi, Billy Mays here! We did not order a pie.
    Walter White: We've got dipping sticks.
    Billy: It doesn't matter. Damn it, Walt. We did not order any fucking pizza!
    Walter: Can't we at least just sit down and eat a piece of pizza?
    (door closes, a tear forms on Walter's eyes)
    Billy: Good, go away right now!
    (Walter throws the pizza on the roof)
    Billy: Damn it, why did you throw pizza on the fucking roof? You are fucking unbeliveable, Walter White! I'm gonna stick my meat so far up your ass right now, you'll have to remove it with surgery, guaranteed. But I'm not done yet! I want your truck to look really damaged, watch this! I'll put a giant hole in your windshield with this hammer in one easy motion! And I'm gonna cut your brake line? Why, because fuck you, that's why!
    (Walter runs over Billy's hand and starts shooting him)
    Billy: You shittin' me? Geez oh man. Wow, what a death.

  • The Best Foundation Rape-Air
    • "Stop the drinking problems right now before it stops you from enjoying your crack."
    • "Tell-tale signs include tell-tale signs." (Tell-tale signs include: Tell-tale signs; tell-tale signs; most importantly, tell-tale signs)
    • "They can also arrange for third party professional professionals to circumcise your foreskin at no charge. They can also toss bricks in your windows. Damage." (CRASH) "Obviously, MBR engineers are serious alcoholics."
    • "Hi, my name's Gecko." (GEICO gecko appears)
    • "And they gave my grandparents head, and we had them doing several different—" (We don't need to know the specifics.)
    • "Jizz really really all around."
    • "And their website, I have a tear… is MBRGFRMFGFFFBMFDR dot com."

  • IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE AT YOUR FINGERTITS
    • ADJUST THE VCR TRACKING FOR THE CLEAREST PICTURE
      • JUST THE ASS CLEANING PLEASE

    • Opening introduction is a gag. Try to hold your laugh, please.
    "On your mark ("Mark"), get set, we're riding on the Internet. Cyberspace, cyberSEX.
    Interactive Ass Site, a window to the Web-a-tite, searching for Reality.
    "Take a spit on the Internet!"

    • The Jam Family/All in the Family
    "Now here's a little background: I got the whole family installed in our computer." (doesn't know what he's doing)
    "Now that I'm on the internet, I'd rather be on my computer than doing a homework assignment!" "Which makes me happy as I would sure like them to go to hell someday...." (pause) "Makes me happy." (eating a flying hot dog)
    "Rich keeps up with the stock market and our sock market and our cock market and our grave market…" (This is technically a headstone, not a grave, but I think you get the idea) "…and our Doc Martens market. And I haven't been able to get Rich off ever since."

    • The Friends Arrive The Friends Arrive The Friends Arrive The Friends Arrive
    "Take a pee on the Internet"

    "You make sure Dasha and Peter show you how they've done some of their school reports, and not all that psycho stuff, okay?" (screenshot of cs188's video feed appears)

    • Oetting Online (Jell-O)
    "You're going surfing on the Jell-O-net"

    Peter plays Chip's Challenge when Dasha reminds him about his school reports.
    • let's try this again...
    "Yahoo? I've heard of that! So it's a search engine, right? Can we look at it?" "No."
    "To get online, we need to type in our parents' address and credit card information." Bank Name: SHITBANK VISA
    "Well, to get started, you'll need to get started. You do that through an Internet spider." (macro of Spider-Man appears with the caption "I can hear you fapping")
    "I used the world wide web to search the archives of the Smithsonian museum a few weeks ago. I also had to pee."
    "Our friends Lisa & Andrew came over today and drew a penis."
    "But how we even look up the lighthouse?" "You just type w-w-w dot com." (Andrew's face expands like a balloon and then pops to black.)

    • The Basics/The Google
    "You're going surfing on the search engine"

    "Wanna search for clit clit clit clit?" "Can we look at it?" "Sure. Just click on it and the next thing you know…" (sudden suspense dramatic tone plays)
    "It's all right here at your fingertits .... and then there's SBEmail." ("S to the C, R O double L!")

    • Internet Safety
    "Take a shit."

    "This is one your dad will love. It's Porno.com." [censored porn video appears] "I get wood so easily."

    • This:
    Andrew: Don't they have chest games?
    Peter: (as a picture of a woman's breasts show up on screen) Yeah!
    Dasha: No.

    • Chat session:
    LatinoFriend55: Hey buddy, how's it going?
    PeterJamison623: UR A FAKE AND GAY LATINO PERSON LOL
    LatinoFriend55: I am very hurt by that, Peter.
    PeterJamison623: lol jk jk (deal with it)

    "Hate Latinos on the Internet" I'M KIDDING JEEZ

    • The Egypt scene.
    The kids find an Egyptian protest image on the Internet.
    "Amazing! It looks just like it does in out history books, only it seems more real, like we're there...." Lisa daydreams and flies around the clouds and soars through worldwide historic and ancient landmarks and goes close to the Statue of David's penis

    • The Parents Arrive
    "We looked up school stuff." sure ya did...
    "I can't go another day without the internet!" (an image of the Statue of David's penis floats around her face) "Don't tell her about the gay stuff."
    "Snot just for boys."

    • Constructing A Bomb To Decimate Your Pathetic Neighborhood
    "You're going surfing on the—" (cue bomb exlposion)

    "But honey, did you know that you could die on the internet?"

  • Three St00ges Invent Slaps Dick Comedy

  • Michael Rosen experiments on the cat
    • "They said Michael Rosen goes from house to house, asking for some chocolate cake." (I BET HE DOES)
    • "Take the bagels out of the bagels."
    • "Don't teleport!"
    • "Quite often, we used to jizz on the cat."
    • "We used to have Dave Mustaine over for our Sunday dinner in the middle of the night."
    • The Michael Rosen Hallway
    • "My brother shows me a tiny co—" "Michael, you make this way too easy for us."
    • "The house...is QUIET.
    • "I've got a secret weapon, Luigi!"
    • "Now, he's got his back to me, so I take a slimy crap in his orange juice. It's filling up with dirty sphincter water."
    • "YouTubePoopers can't be trusted to do anything nice! If I had the time to try and sue the pants off them…"
    • "Clit cake." "(I'm 99% certain someone else already used this joke, but I can't remember who.)
    • "And now I've got the taste of it in my mouth and I can't stop myself so I go GIT DAT DUT GAT JAH JAH hombenghahomehgna. I can't stop myself! Hombenghahomehgna inhale woodchuck-a whabntahhwasghtnwwggbb!"

  • Anthony Sullivan Wipes His Bum on Your Carpet

  • Caillou's Ebolaween Twentyfourteen
    • "Caillou's Big Furry Finger Up The Butt Show! Or some shit."
    • The Running Gag of Caillou's dad masturbating.
    • Caillou helping his mom with the "JoJ-Lantern" by drawing his mom's..."twins".
    Achievement: Draw Mommy's boobs on a pumpkin
    • "Clementine's family was upsetting Caillou. In fact, he hated them!" *Caillou shoots Clementine* "MOMMY!"
    • "ROSIE IDIOT!" *Rosie slams into a wall and screams*
    • The entire Billy Mays scene.
    • "Caillou was doing crafts... but he wasn't really." *trollface* "Caillou was making a fucking mess."
    • "Why don't you two play a game with CaillU2. U2 YouTube Playa."
    • "Caillou picked, and picked, a whole bunch of boogers. He kept on eating them!"

  • Kanye West Gets Hard For Beyonce's Chest
    • "I'm really happy for you, Imma let you shit, but Beyonce had one of the best shits of all time!" *Surprised Beyonce closeup with bathroom noises*
    • "I'm really happy for Beyonce!" *Taylor Swift looking upset*
    • "Beyonce had the best tits of all time! *Chest closeup on picture of Beyonce*
    • "I'm really hard for Beyonce's tits!"
    • "MAS-TUR-BATE!"
    • "I'd like for Taylor to come."
    • "Maybe...Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time.
    • "Imma finish on Beyonce's tits!"

  • CAN YOU HANDLE MORE?!?!?! (age-restricted, you'll see why)