Vampires may have their differences across media, but most of them have something in common: they drink blood. They drink blood from humans (or whatever species they once were) usually. So, what happens when they feed off of someone with drugs, alcohol, or poison in their system?
Why, they get high, drunk, or poisoned of course.
This can be Played for Laughs (unless it's poison) since stoners and drunks are funny when they make fools of themselves. This is also the only logical way for vampires to get intoxicated since their diet mainly consists of blood.
In extreme cases, the vampire might actually get addicted to the tainted blood and deliberately seek out drug users or drunks.
- Samurai Pizza Cats, "The Big Cheese's IQ Corral": One of Bad Bird's robots uses an "energy assimilator" on a drunken Guru Lou, resulting in the robot acting drunk. In the English dub, due to alcohol references being banned, this was explained as the effects of MSG in the food he'd been eating.
- An attempt was made to do a variation of this in Hellsing. The forces of Millenium know that Alucard will feed on the spilled blood from the massacre of London, both to recharge his vampire powers and add everyone that died to the legions of souls that he controls and can call on in battle. In the middle of Alucard's feeding, Schrodinger allows himself and his own blood to be absorbed by Alucard, then uses part of his powers to wink Alucard out of existence. It almost kills off the infamously invincible Alucard, as it takes Alucard 30+ years before he can manifest himself normally on Earth again. (The Major, the head of Millenium, explicitly compares this to a human drinking drugged or poisoned wine.)
- Hellblazer: Nergal's daughter gets rid of her invulnerable uncle this way: as entertainment during a feast, she has a few humans dance, which the uncle can't resist and starts devouring, then succumbing to the poison the dancers were given (they'd have died of the poison in a few minutes).
- There's also when John is at a practically low point in his life, and the King of the Vampires comes by to taunt him. John invites the King to bite him and end his life... forgetting that he has the blood of Nergal running in his veins. The King's jaw melting off is enough to inspire John to fight back and drag him into sunlight.
- Runaways: The protagonists come across a vampire named Topher who tries to turn the girls of the group. However the one he bites, Karolina, has solar powered blood which ends up destroying him soon as he gets a taste. The ironic thing is that Karolina wasn't even aware of this fact and his death was just pure dumb luck.
- In the 2001 horror film Mermaid Chronicles Part 1: She Creature, the titular mermaid gets drunk after she eats a drunken sailor.
- In the Dracula novel A Matter of Taste by Fred Saberhagen, Dracula notes that alcohol, cocaine, and other common drugs (and even garlic) produce interesting tastes in the blood but don't really affect the vampire drinking it. However, there is a Borgia anti-vampire poison: A breathing human who drinks the stuff gets high, and the vampire who drinks the human's blood gets poisoned.
- Discworld has several examples:
Nanny Ogg: She ain't been vampired. You've been Weatherwaxed!
- Going Postal: Mr. Gryle the banshee (who on the Disc are more like harpies) eats an Ankh-Morpork pigeon, which due to the unbelievable pollution levels in the city are described as "effluents with wings", making him loopy enough to be defeated by Moist.
- In Carpe Jugulum, this is how Granny Weatherwax ultimately manages to defeat the Magpyrs, who have trained themselves to become immune to the traditional vampire weaknesses. Rather than overpowering them, she takes advantage of their desire to turn her as well as her immense skill at Borrowing, infusing her own blood with... well, Essence of Weatherwax. Before too long, the vampires find themselves unconsciously adopting her mannerisms and temperament, alongside the sudden development of a craving for tea. Unlike most examples of this trope, it takes them a while to notice, and even longer to figure out what happened.
- In Tales of MU Mack, a half-demon, gets drunk by drinking the blood of a drunk guy. It's explained as a magic thing.
- In Those Who Hunt the Night, a character kills a vampire by injecting himself with a lethal dose of silver nitrate (silver being fatal to vampires in this setting) and allowing the vampire to drain him before he succumbs to the toxic effects of the silver nitrate.
- Vampires: To get the edge on a group of vampire when the team is unable to use their standard tactic of blowing up the building they're in, the send down a fish tank filled with pig's blood and laced with tons of drugs.
- You Suck: A Love Story by Christopher Moore has vampires attempt to drain coffee junkies to help start their morn... their evening. And Jodie, who really misses fries, considers feeding on her boyfriend immediately after he eats an order of them.
- The vampire Edgar Poe in The Bloody Red Baron tends to feed on drunks. He's suffered from writer's block since turning, and hopes that getting a secondhand stiff drink will enable him to get back on the horse (the implication is that it's sobriety, not vampirism, that causes Creative Sterility).
- In the Morganville Vampires novel Carpe Corpus, this is tactic is used to defeat the vampire who's taken over the town, Bishop. His rivals intentionally poison themselves, so that when he drinks said blood as part of a public execution, he gets infected and severely weakened as a result of obtaining the poison.
- This happens to vampires who drink from drug users in the Bret Easton Ellis short story "The Secrets of Summer" (part of the book The Informers).
- Callahan's Crosstime Saloon: Pyotr is a vampire who siphons off nutrients and toxins from patrons' blood, getting drunk as a result. He originally did this after driving them home. Because he drank the alcohol from their bloodstream, his "victims" usually had the beneficial side-effect of waking up without a hangover.
- The Doctor does this at least thrice in Doctor Who Expanded Universe: offpage in Doctor Who New Adventures The Room With No Doors, on it in Eighth Doctor Adventures Vampire Science and in Death Comes to Time. Always in dead seriousness, since there's an enmity betwixt Time Lords and vampires.
- Sabina Kane: If a vampire feeds on a drug addict, they can wind up addicted to the same substance due to experiencing the effects of the drug in the persons blood in question.
- The title character has been drinking pigs' blood, but Wolfram & Hart spike it with human blood in an attempt to make him Ax-Crazy. The same trick is used in Season 5 by a vampire trying to frame Harmony for the murder of a human.
- Faith also sedates Angelus by taking a near lethal dose of a Fantastic Drug, then tricking him into feeding on her. The next episode consists mostly of their resulting shared hallucination.
- The page quote comes from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "School Hard" when Spike is introduced. He ridicules another vampire for claiming he was at the Crucifixion by pointing out how many vampires make that claim and saying it would have been like Woodstock if they were all telling the truth. He then says he was actually at Woodstock and this trope happened to him.
- In the fourth season of The Strain (TV series), Eph and Alex spike a shipment of blood for the Strigoi with blood thinners. It manages to kill an entire house full of them. This inspires Setrakian to take an entire bottle of them before his final encounter with Eichhorst. When Eichhorst feeds off of Setrakian, the blood thinners immobilize him badly enough for Setrakian to deliver a lengthy "The Reason You Suck" Speech before slicing his head off.
- The Tales from the Crypt episode "The Reluctant Vampire" defies this. Donald, a vampire, normally drinks the blood stored at the blood bank where he works as a security guard and alters the records not to show missing inventory. One day, he discovers that the manager took the records home and now he has to replace the blood. He finds a mugger and is about to take his blood when he asks if he's an IV drug user, has any blood born illnesses, or has recently had dental surgery. When the mugger says no to all three, Donald takes his blood. When Sally asks him to make her a vampire, he goes to bite her, but stops and asks if she's had recent dental surgery.
- The housemates from What We Do in the Shadows take The Baron out for a night on the town and get high when they feed off a group of stoners. This ends up proving fatal for The Baron when he dances around the house instead of getting into his coffin and gets burned to death when he ends up in front of the front door as Guillermo opens it.
- Dracula (2020): She didn't do it on purpose, naturally, but Zoe's cancer causes her blood to be poisonous to Dracula.
- In both Vampire: The Masquerade and Vampire: The Requiem, vampires can gain the effects of drugs through the blood of people they feed on. This can be an unpleasant surprise for some Kindred, but others seek out those high on their drug of choice.
- There's also specific notes for what happens in a crossover game. Drinking werewolf blood causes them to be extra-energized but much more prone to entering a homicidal rage. Changeling blood will cause them reactions similar to several possible hallucinogens and bizarre, unexpected "flavors" (with the note that if this becomes widely known in the Vampire world, Changelings' lives are bound to get even worse). Drinking a mage's blood may temporarily imbue them with the magical sight of a randomly-chosen school of magic known to the mage, which vampires don't have the training, experience, or usually the psychology to handle well. Any that know of this tend to be too freaked out by the experience (assuming they survive the bad trip) to ever want to repeat it.
- The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt has Geralt deal with hematophagic foes in such a manner sometimes.
- There is a specific Witcher's potion that confers no benefit to the witcher that imbibes it, but renders their blood poisonous to whatever vampiric monster attempts to drink it. This is seen in effect in the "A Night To Remember" launch cinematic. Why would a Witcher drink something so blatantly poisonous? Because they can.
- One quest, in particular, has Geralt get intoxicated to lure out "The Oxenfurt Drunk", a vampire that preys exclusively on drunks.
- South Park: The Fractured but Whole: If you use Mosquito's Bug Bite Barrage on Red Wine Drunk Randy, he will say he is starting to get a little woozy off Randy's blood.
- In Choice of Games's Choice of the Vampire, the player character can choose to specify that they enjoy feeding on drunks because the intoxication is carried through their blood, giving it a certain flavour.
- The Sam & Max: Freelance Police episode "Night of the Raving Dead" has a point where the duo face off with the vampire Jurgen in a music contest. Before the performance, Jurgen always sucks some blood from Max to aid his work. Before issuing the challenge, you can have Max drink holy water which causes Jurgen to gag during his performance after sucking Max's blood.
- Vampire: The Masquerade Bloodlines: Victims of the Mystical Plague spread by a vampire Apocalypse Cult have tainted blood. In theory, vampires can catch it and spread it through their bite; thanks to Gameplay and Story Segregation, it just gives the Player Character a nasty but temporary debuff.
- In World of Warcraft, this is a boss mechanic in the Atal'Dazar instance: Priestess Alun'za has an attack where she drains health from the group members, but stepping into the pools of Tainted Blood that spawn will give the player a Damage Over Time effect and cause her to lose health instead.
- One strip in Vampire Bites had Rantz and Chloe biting a citizen who had just left a coffee shop and was drinking a pumpkin spice-flavored beverage which in turn transferred to her blood much to their amusement.
- According to What If?, drinking enough blood to get drunk would cause problems preventing you from drinking that much blood in the first place.
- Avengers, Assemble!: In "Blood Feud", Dracula manages to suck blood from the Hulk, which causes him to hulk out and make him stronger. However it also severely harms Dracula due to Hulk's blood containing gamma energy which is also what cures Black Widow of her vampirism.
- In the Fanboy and Chum Chum episode "Fangboy", Fanboy, thinking he's a vampire after mistaking a mosquito bite on his neck for a vampire bite, tries to bite Chum Chum's neck to make him a vampire, but he doesn't have one. They visit Dr. Acula (who is very clearly Dracula) to get Chum Chum a neck, and upon accidentally biting Fanboy's head, the doctor remembers that he already bit him before and the first bite made him contract Fanboy's ditziness and want to do nothing but play video games and drink frozen beverages all day. When he feels himself getting dumb again, he tries to escape only to fly out in broad daylight and be destroyed by the sun.
- A variation occurs in the Futurama episode "The Problem with Popplers". After Lrrr (an alien king from the planet Omicron Persei 8) is persuaded to spare Leela's life, Free Waterfall Jr. insists that humanity should pay for eating the Popplers (the larvae of Lrrr's species). So Lrrr just eats him instead. Lrrr then tries to make a speech to the people of Earth, only to get too high due to consuming traces of psychedelic drugs that were inside Waterfall's body.
- During the last segment of The Simpsons "Treehouse of Horror XXI" ("Tweenlight"), Dracula and his son Edmund decide to feed on Homer's blood, only to both get poisoned and pass out due to all the cholesterol it contained.