Frasier: They wouldn't love you so much if it weren't for my ideas!
Marty: Right, because you need a Ph.D to think of repainting the lobby. Oh, wait — you don't.
Frasier: Would you stop doing that!
Marty: You're right. It's not an effective way to argue. Oh, wait — it is!
When a character presents a hypothetical scenario, then sarcastically says something like "Oh, wait!" and observes that it's actually true. Usually used to present a Take That!. Different from That Came Out Wrong in that the character knows full well what he said. Has nothing to do with Hey, Wait!.
Many of the examples below are not actually "Hypothetical — oh wait — that's true!" Alternate forms include "Reasonable plan — oh wait — we can't because of something obvious." Or, "Blatant lie — oh wait — truth." All three are sometimes used as a real-life sarcasm tag, often overlapping with Don't Explain the Joke. Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap! is when someone, to their horror, does it to themselves.
- Inverted in Ultimate Spider-Man when the Kingpin asks Spidey why he thinks the public hates him despite all the good he does:
Spidey: Oh wait, I know why. It's because I run a criminal empire and cloak it in charity work and quote unquote legitimate businesses and try to sell myself as something I'm not. No wait, that's you.
- From the interlude to Progress, Luna vs. the Facts of Life, we get this gem from Celestia:
Celestia: Oh yes! Mmm... Sometimes I just see a colt and I think to myself, 'Oh, if only I was an immortal, beautiful, sexy goddess that all would love to mate until I couldn't stand up.' And then I think 'Oh wait! I totally am!'
- Meet the Robinsons:
Bowler Hat Guy (disembodied voice): All he wants is to go back in time to find the mother he never knew but they won't let him. We'd let him, wouldn't we? Too bad we don't have a time machine. Oh wait...(time machine materializes) we do.
- Sydney White
Sydney White: If only there were a place where a superficial, materialistic bitch could fit in. Oh wait, there is.
- The Grudge 3:
Lisa: You should have said something.Max: Gee, I wish I had. Oh, wait, I did, but you were too busy [snip] to listen to me.
- Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers:
Pete: Well, Mickey, I guess this is the end of the line. (chuckles evilly)Mickey: Think so? My pals will be right behind us!Pete: Oh, sure, uh-huh. The duck dumped ya, remember?Mickey: (loses steam) W-Well... Goofy, then!Mickey: (in disbelief) No. No, no!
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode "The Prom":
Anya: All I know is I really want to go to this dance and I want someone to go with me.Xander: Be still my heart. Oh wait, it is.
- Degrassi episode "Karma Chameleon'':
Paige: I was hoping you could take drugs, act like a freak and destroy everything. Oh wait. You did that last year.
- House episode "Joy to the World":
Dr. Taub: House always has an agenda, just screwing with us isn't...Dr. Kutner: Yeah he'd never do that. Oh wait- He already did last year!
- Star Trek: Voyager episode "Q2":
Q: I wish you could see the look on your faces! Oh wait, you can! [Snaps his fingers and mirrors appear]
- Angel episode "That Old Gang of Mine":
Cordelia Chase: And it's not like the last time she was out in the world, she got sucked into an inter-dimensional portal and ended up living like a hunted-animal in a hostile, demon, alterna-world, or anything? Oh, wait. Kind of is, isn't it?
- Freaks and Geeks:
Ken Miller: Lindsay, here's an idea - how 'bout you break up our band so you can go make out with Nick? Oh, wait, you already did that.
Nick: Hey, man, I heard that Kim got an A on her World Civ test, that's great. Oh, no, that's right — that was my girlfriend.
Daniel: That's really funny.
Nick: Oh, you know what, though? Aw, man. Lindsay got detention. For flipping off her gym teacher. Oh, no, that's right — that was your girlfriend.
Daniel: I heard Kim punched you in the chest really hard. Oh, whoops, that was me. [whap]
- Gilmore Girls:
Lorelai: Hey, let's look into each other's eyes and say "I wish I were you" at exactly the same time - maybe we'll pull a Freaky Friday.Rory: Or we can just pretend that we did and you can go around acting really immature. Oh, wait...
- Triple Whammy: in the Frasier episode "Proxy Prexy", Marty runs for condo-board president to act as a mouth for Frasier's ideas, and tensions rise between the two.
Marty: Well, if you're so sure you're indispensable maybe you should run for president. Oh, wait. You did. Five times.Frasier: They wouldn't love you so much if it weren't my ideas!Marty: Right, because you need a Ph.D to think of repainting the lobby. Oh, wait. You don't.Frasier: Would you stop doing that!Marty: You're right. It's not an effective way to argue. Oh, wait. It is!
Frasier: My God! What is wrong with me? Why can't I find a single woman who's interested in me?Roz: Those are two different questions, really, so we should just sit down and talk them both over. Oh, wait, I can't, BECAUSE I'M IN LABOUR!
- Also, in the episode "The Life Of The Party", Roz is going into labour, but Frasier seems more concerned with his latest romantic failure.
- Top Gear, after Clarksons second-hand supercar develops severe engine problems, with an engine that had just had a 10 thousand pound rebuild...
Hammond: You know what could help? If you spent 10 grand on the engi... Oh wait, he already did, what a shame.
- The West Wing: Leo claims to be unavailable in an emergency.
Bartlet: If only technology could invent some way to get in touch with you in an emergency. Some sort of telephonic device with a personalized number we could call to let you know that we needed you. Perhaps it would look something [grabs Leo's pager] like *this*, Mr. Moto!Bartlet: I'm not an economist, but... no, wait, I am an economist.
- Doctor Who, "The Sound of Drums": The Master is monologuing about how he now has a pocket-sized version of Professor Lazarus's age-altering machine.
- At one episode of Becker, John tells Chris's ex-husband a fairly pointless story that ends with him and some friends watching the sunrise - he mentions this as if it was the most interesting part of it. Roger replies, "There's something you don't see everyday. Oh wait, you do."
- In an episode of White Collar, Neal is asked to authenticate a pair of wills.
Peter: We got biometrics on Roland's witness signatures. They are definitely forged.Neal: Could have told you that. Oh wait, I did.
- The first season finale of Supernatural has this little exchange between Dean and Yellow-Eyes (possessing John)
Yellow-Eyes: You destroyed my children. How would you feel if I killed your family? Oh, thats right, I forgot I did.(soon after)Dean: I bet youre real proud of your kids too huh? Oh wait, I forgot, I wasted them.
- The chorus to the song "Invisible" by Clay Aiken has him singing about all of the things he could do if he was invisible, then says "Wait, I already am" referring to the way his Love Interest doesn't notice him.
- It's possible to say this to Alistair in Dragon Age: Origins:
The Warden: I dream of becoming a Grey Warden. Oh Wait.
- The Scout in Team Fortress 2 when he bonks someone with a baseball.
- In StarCraft II: Wings of Liberty, Jim Raynor may say this when you click on him in between missions.
Raynor: I should take a walk outside. Oh, wait.
- Mind you, he's in his flagship the Hyperion while saying this line.
- Mass Effect 3, if you get the quarians and geth to end their war peacefully, Garrus notes, "Next you'll be telling me the krogan and turians are working together... oh wait, you managed that one too."
Javik: Commander, in my cycle when we fled combat by falling through tanks containing aquatic animals, we usually... Oh. Right. We never did.
- A much darker version can come up, if Shepard betrays Wrex at the Genophage cure, the latter will try to kill them, and if Ashley is killed during Udina's attempted coup, he will sarcastically suggest Shepard call Ashley to help, and then say "Oh right, you killed her too! And it's time you found out how that feels!"
- In the first game, if you have Garrus and Wrex in the party when meeting the Rachni Queen, Garrus will tell you not to kill the last queen and doom the species without consulting the Council, saying that genocide was the reason why they fought the Krogan. Garrus then remembers who he's with and trails off, before Wrex reminds him that the genophage amounts to genocide against the krogan.
- In Citadel DLC everyone keeps reminding Shepard of how they ruined a sushi shop:
- At the beginning of Assassin's Creed II, Ezio says "I wish every day was this fun. Oh, wait, they are!" The next day, his father and brothers are arrested on trumped up charges, and are executed the day after that, setting Ezio on the path to being an Assassin.
- In Fallout 3, when questioning Doctor Lesko about his experiments:
Lesko: My experiments are of a complex nature and would take a scientist to explain... oh wait! I'm a scientist! How marvelous!
- From near the end of Sonic Colors:
Tails: With all the generators destroyed, we can blow this joint and head home. We did it dude!
Sonic: We? I don't remember you fighting off any insane robots.
Tails: True. Well, good job to you on inventing a translator that allowed us to speak to the aliens and figure out exactly what we needed to do so we weren't running around the park looking like idiots. Oh no wait, that was me.
- Schlock Mercenary... Ennesby goes off on a rant about how biologicals underestimate the creativity of AIs, and comments that it's probably due to some lingering fear that the AIs will eventually grow so intelligent and creative that they'll just supplant the biologicals as the dominant form of life in the universe. "Oh wait... Petey and the Fleetmind already did that."
- This Darths & Droids comic. Though, as he says it a panel later that appears to be out of the conversation, it may have actually been a realization rather than sarcasm.
Obi-Wan: I'll call back when I've defeated Jango. He shouldn't be hard to catch. It's not like there are hundreds of thousands of identical copies of him running around. Oh wait.
- Political webcomic I Drew This has a good example. The artist, David is making a comic in which Dick Cheney is out hunting, but due to incompetence hits a person in the face, and THEN makes the guy apologize for not looking more like a bird. David thinks this is totally original, but then Joe the Liberal Eagle comes up with the paper, which has the headline "All That Cheney Stuff You Just Said". Last panel is of David sobbing onto his drawing board saying "Satire is dead!"
Fernando: Do you know what my family will do to your people when they find out??Fillipod: What, crack our planet in half? Oh wait.
- In this 8-Bit Theater strip, Red Mage informs Black Mage that they made a new enemy. Black Mage says he'll add it to the list, but Oh Wait, the list already includes "Everyone in the world".
- The Order of the Stick: In one comic, Redcloak makes a speech on how, thanks to the destruction of Azure City, no goblin would be killed by their paladins again. Xykon's response?
- Zero Punctuation: Yahtzee's comparison between Final Fantasy and Star Wars, with Final Fantasy XIII being "what you'd get if you took out everything that was good about Star Wars and replaced it with dodgy CGI and laughable angst. Oh wait."
- The Bum Review of Zombieland ended with Chester A. Bum insisting that more movies need to be mixed with Shaun of the Dead, "Like Shaun of the Dead mixed with Dreamgirls! Oh wait, that was called Glitter."
- The Agony Booth, on Hulk:
''That'd be like making an entire movie about death, the afterlife, heaven and hell, and never once using the word god. Oh wait."
- From this Cracked article:
"Everything about Laika's journey seemed to go swimmingly, until we realized the Soviets never had a safe return plan for their pooch, and they planned for her to die in space all along. Which sucks, of course, but at least she died peacefully when she ate her poisoned food dose a week into orbit, as the Soviets reported. Except, oh wait, that's not how Laika died at all."
Is this any way to prepare our children for the adult world? By making them believe that authority figures often rely on unfair and arbitrary rules not based on any kind of logic or...Wait, that actually may be a pretty good way to prepare them for the adult world.
- And another:
- Mr. Plinkett does this in his review of The Phantom Menace, though seemingly unintentionally, while imagining the games Padme plays with her decoy:
Decoy: When I'm the queen, I'm gonna have you go clean toilets! Teeheehee!Padme: When I'm the queen, I'm gonna have you die for me in a horrible explosion![cut to Padme's assassination attempt]Plinkett: Oh wait, that happened. I'm so sorry.
- In the Youtube game The Dark Room, picking enough "weird" options will squick out the (already verbally abusive) narrator. "You foul, loathsome creature! You should be placed in a dark room where nobody can see you - OH, WAIT! You have been. Carry on."
- Linkara does this all the time in Atop the Fourth Wall.
- Todd in the Shadows, on "I Can Transform Ya": "I kinda feel bad for Chris Brown." (screencap of a news story related to his assault on Rihanna) "Oh wait, I don't."
- In "Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You)": "I guess there just isn't a market for a pop star who wasn't supermodel-hot or rail-thin making an album full of bitter breakup songs." (Rolling Stone cover dealing with Adele, with "Rolling in the Deep" playing) "OH WAIT."
- Meduka Meguca: The Animation
Homura: Give me back my lover [Madoka].Mami: Maybe, if you were the one that saved her ass. But oh, wait... that was me.
- Weiss from RWBY does this in the first episode of volume 3. Unfortunately, Ruby is Sarcasm-Blind.
- Adventure Time, "Princess Day":
Breakfast Princess: Oh, Lumpy Space Princess, I'm afraid you'll have to be patient with us and our petty disputes. Not all of us have achieved the self-sufficiency that I assume you have in your kingdom. Oh wait, that's right. You don't have a kingdom! You live in a box in the woods.
- Justice League
Abnegazar: Or what? You'll kill me? Gosh, I might end up suffering eternal torment as punishment for my sins! Oh, wait - I already am!
- "The Balance":
Darkseid: It's called the Agony Matrix. Direct neural stimulation of pain receptors. All of them. Imagine the worst pain you've ever felt in your life times a thousand. Now imagine that pain continuing forever. Oh, that's right. You don't have to imagine.
- From "Secret Society"
Clayface: You didn't think I'd come here without reinforcements, did you?
Batman: Wish I had thought of that.
(Green Lantern blasts the door in, revealing the rest of the League)
Batman: Oh wait, I did. (smirks)
- Invoked and lampshaded in Futurama:
Fry: That's like digging up Lassie and putting her on display in the Louvre!
Amy: Lassie is in the Louvre.
Fry: I know; I was deliberately describing a similar situation.
- Also played straight:
- The 2003 animation of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles uses this in one of the episodes where an alien invasion is faked.
Raphael: "Oh look, an alien invasion, we don't see that everyday... oh wait.. yea we do.
- The Venture Bros.:
Doc Venture: I want a second opinion. Oh wait, I'm a doctor. I can give myself one! You suck, and I'm leaving!
- Variation in Phineas and Ferb, episode "Finding Mary McGuffin". Vanessa and Candace fight over the titular doll, and it flies into the hands of a little girl who loves it.
Candace: Oh, forget it. I guess I'm too old for dolls anyway.
Vanessa: (sarcastically) Yeah, maybe I don't really have to have the one object my dad spent years to find in order to show me his affection. (beat) No, actually I do. Gimme that, kid!
- In the Family Guy episode "Chick Cancer" when Stewie decides that women respond when you treat them like crap:
Stewie: Hey, babe. What do you say, we going out Saturday night?
Olivia: Stewie, what are you doing here? I told you, I'm just into a different type of guy.
Stewie: Oh, yeah? I'll tell you what you're into. Being ugly.
Olivia: Stewie, you're being mean.
Stewie: No. If I was being mean, when you opened the door I would have said, "Oh, hey, Ray Liotta, is Olivia home? Oh, wait, you're Olivia." You see, I thought you were Ray Liotta because your skin has the texture of a decorative autumn squash. So, I'll pick you up at 7:00?Olivia: (in tears) That sounds wonderful.
Quagmire: (furious) ...and by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ—OH,WAIT!—You don't believe in Jesus Christ, or any religion for that matter, because (mockingly) "religion is for idiots".
- In "Jerome is the New Black", as part of a long-winded "The Reason You Suck" Speech to Brian:
- The Powerpuff Girls episode "Beat Your Greens".
Blossom: So you see? The only way to save the Earth is by eating broccoli.
Football Kid: Aw, don't believe her! This is just some kinda trick to get us to eat vegetables!
Buttercup: What?! You doubt the word of a Powerpuff? Or maybe you're just scared to eat vegetables. Tell you what. Why don't you just run on home to your mama and see if she'll make you a bologna sandwich? Oh, wait. You know what? She CAN'T! 'Cause she's been zapnotized by alien invaders! But you don't want to help save her, 'cause you don't feel like eating a few vegetables!
Football Kid: (suddenly inspired) LET'S DO THIS FOR THE FOLKS!!!
- Deadpool in Ultimate Spider-Man did this in his intro to demonstrate his Healing Factor;
"That's gonna leave a mark! Oh wait! No, it isn't! I have a healing factor! Ha-Ha, yay me!"
- In House of Mouse, Mickey is told something he find unlikely and replies, "Right, and I'm Mickey Mouse!" ...Wait! I am Mickey Mouse!"
- In Codename: Kids Next Door "Operation: I.T.", a game of tag for leadership of the KND ends with Father being named Soopreme Leader. At a rally, the Kids are opposed to this, as only agents of the the KND can become Leader. Father sarcastically concedes the point, leaves the stage, then comes back with, "Wait a minute, I am a Kids Next Door member!" and proceeds to show proof from a previous episode how that happened.
- Near the end of the Rick and Morty episode "M. Night Shyam-Aliens!", Jerry mocks Rick for apparently being outwitted by a race of intelligent aliens, only for it to turn out that Rick pulled a rather explosive Batman Gambit for them.
Jerry: What-what happened back there?!
Rick: Why don't you ask the smartest people in the universe, Jerry? Oh yeah, (belch) you can't. They blew up.
- Used in a mixture of Not So Different and You Are Not Alone in Steven Universe.
Peridot: No one could possibly know what that feels like! Oh wait I do! We're the same! Except...you don't have to be alone.