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    Party All The Time 
  • His recap of Eddie Murphy's career before "Party All The Time", presented as a montage of moments from his stand-up comedy oeuvre, as well as clips from Saturday Night Live, 48 Hrs., Trading Places, and Beverly Hills Cop.
    Todd: But you already knew that.
    • But why?! The answer is in his Delirious stand-up routine:
      Eddie Murphy: Being a comic, though, ain't like bein' no singer. The singers get all the pussy.
  • "Actually, 'Party All the Time' was not Eddie Murphy's first single. His first single was off of one of his comedy albums, a parody of early rap called 'Boogie in Your Butt'. I think I could say with... no hyperbole whatsoever that 'Boogie in Your Butt' is the best thing ever recorded in the history of everything."
  • Todd saying that he can't see Eddie singing without thinking of him playing Buckwheat on Saturday Night Live: "Unce, tice, fee tines a mady…"
  • "Please stop feeling, Eddie Murphy. I revoke your right to have feelings."
  • According to Todd, Eddie's third album, "Love's Alright", is the funniest thing he's ever made in his entire life.
  • On the topic of "Whatzupwitu":
    Todd: I was introduced to this video on an old MTV countdown listing the 25 lamest videos and... they weren't wrong.
  • "Did he deserve better?"
    Todd: I would say that he probably deserved a little worse. He didn't earn those hits. Eddie Murphy's vocals weren't strong enough on their own to merit a singing career. These are vanity projects, plain and simple. And like most vanity projects, they were pretty lame.

    Closing Time 
  • Todd opens the video with a split screen just like the original music video. One half displays him at the piano, the other him walking through his house. As he starts speaking, though, he forgets for a moment to stop the other video, just as he starts going through his refrigerator looking something to eat.
  • Todd: There was also my other favorite song on that album, "Get a Grip".
    Dan Wilson: ♪Get a grip on yourself, you know you should\ I got a grip on myself and it feels good♪
    Todd: "Get a Grip" is about... Yeah. It is also about masturbation. It's about how good and how healthy masturbation is. I'm sure there was a reason why I was such a fan of this album in high school, but I can't quite figure out what it might be.
    Dan: ♪When the lights come on and the party's through\ There are always a few with nobody to do\ Well now don't despair♪
    Todd: I know who I want to take me home, but in lieu of that person, there's always... (holds up right hand) And that was the last single they ever released—a song about jerking off.

    Me & Mrs. Jones 
  • Todd: Billy Paul really did not want this to be his next single, but I guess the label was worried about his street cred?
    Billy Paul: ♪Am I black enough for you\ Am I black enough for you\ We're gonna move on up, one by one\ We ain't gonna stop♪
    Todd: "Am I Black Enough for You?" Yeah, believe it or not, a song with that title too black for most mainstream audiences. No one could've predicted. Actually, pretty much everyone predicted. Billy Paul begged Kenny Gamble not to release it as his next single, as did pretty much all of Gamble's colleagues. Like, Peter and Marcia Brady are gonna listen to a song this threatening in between their Carly Simon and John Denver? Yeah, that was obviously never gonna happen.
    Todd: Billy Paul said a lot of people would be turned off by it, and he was right. It went over about as well as this...
    Black Bart: 'Excuse me while I whip this out.
  • Todd: Paul didn't always have good material, but he was a very good singer, so I would highly recommend anything he recorded in the 70s 'cause that was just a good decade for soul music. He also recorded some stuff in the 80s, but I would actually recommend you stay far, far away.
    Billy: (in falsetto) ♪Girl, girl, you better wake up♪
    Todd: Came up with an alternate title for that one.
    Captions: Am I Crap Enough For You?
  • Todd, when gushing about the song, briefly goes off on a tangent as he imagines what Mr. Jones is like. The short version: Todd doesn't think favorably of the guy.

    It's Raining Men 
  • At the beginning of the song, Todd dramatically unzips and opens his hoodie.
  • After hearing Barbra Streisand was originally approached to sing this song, Todd imagining how her version would sound.
  • "I really can't help it, I think this song is awesome. It's just so dumb. The joke is so belaboured that you have to take it as literal. Like, literally, the skies have opened up and are sending hot guys plummeting towards the ground. They're gonna get absolutely soaking wet with blood and guts covering the street. I know that's not where they meant to go with it, it's just hard not to think about it.
    • During the montage of men raining from the sky, he includes a clip from Monty Python's "Falling From Building" sketch.
  • "Mother Nature is sure rockin' that satin muumuu. You know, I didn't know that women wanted Mother Nature to send them flashers in trench coats."
  • Todd sings "It's Raining Men"'s lyrics with Christmas references as he notices the Weather Girls' follow-up "Dear Santa (Bring Me a Man This Christmas)" is just their hit as Christmas song.
    Todd: ♪God bless Father Christmas, he's a single woman too.♪ It's snowing men! Hallelujah. Oh, my God, I wish all the bands I covered on this program did a Christmas version of their only hit. Think about it. "Kung Fu Santa", "Play That Christmas Music, Elf Boy", "♪Don't tell my heart, my holly, jolly heart.♪" If, for some reason, I ever wind up with a hit, I'm going to immediately repackage it for Christmas.
    • What really makes it hilarious is that Todd is just barely resisting the urge to corpse while reciting those lyrics.

    Cotton-Eye Joe 
  • "If you're a bunch of Europeans from a wealthy Socialist country, pretending to be a bunch of poor white trash from the Deep Southyou might be Rednex."
  • "And today, we're taking a look at a bizarre attempt to mix Country Music with an entirely different genre." (cue Accidental Racist) "No, no, no, no, no, not that one."
  • On the anonymity of Eurodance bands: "For example, Allmusic's biography of Rednex could probably stand to be a little more detailed. 'The Swedish dance combo Rednex had an international novelty hit in 1995 with 'Cotton-Eyed Joe,' a driving number that reworks American country music into disco.' That's it, only one sentence, and they didn't even spell the name of the song correctly; that's how much All Music cares about them."
  • His placeholder images for the three producers who created Rednex.
  • "There is basically one trick and one trick only to Rednex's Europop re-working of 'Cotton-Eye Joe': mainly, that it's a Europop re-working of 'Cotton-Eye Joe'."
  • "No! [Redneck] is our word! We are allowed to use it, not you!" Caption: "Todd was born in San Diego."
  • "Let's see what they came up with next." ["The Failed Follow-Up" titlecard] "It's just the exact same song again."
  • "Did they deserve better?"
    Todd: I really grew to loathe this band over the course of this review.
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    Unbelievable 
  • "They chose the name EMF. They've always been a little coy about what it stands for. However, they've always been dogged by rumours that EMF stands for Ecstasy Motherfuckers. And you know what? I would like to clarify the truth of the matter right now. Duh! Of course that's what it stands for. So, an indie dance band calling themselves EMF, and it's not an ecstasy reference? I'll believe that about as much as I believe a reggae band calling themselves THC and claiming it's not a pot reference. Bullshit! They're called EMF cause they were on ecstasy, motherfucker!"
  • "Now in the UK, they had more time to get out some more singles, so they did notch a few more hits. But they must've been stung by the distrust because around this time, they started hanging out with Jane's Addiction and they decided their next album was gonna use no samples. It was gonna be darker. Always a good idea, a dark album. Plenty of allegedly lightweight acts have achieved greater success when they made a darker album such as...?...and...(band name not found) I'm sure there's at least one."
  • "Nirvana killed a lot of careers, people."
  • "So yeah, just a few short years later, the landscape had shifted in British rock too, from baggy pants to...giant monobrows, and EMF were left by the wayside.
  • "Did they deserve better?"
    Todd: Look, they had one hit in the US, and a few hits in England. I really don't see how they could've realistically hoped for more.
    • Todd notes EMF fell victim of being an unremarkable band at the tail end of a dying genre.
      Todd: I guess my fimal verdict is... ehh... Eh... Meh... Feh...?

    I Ran (So Far Away) 
  • His constant Take Thats towards A Flock of Seagulls' lead singer's 80's hair, which he describes as "part mullet, part emo-fringe, part Pointy-Haired Boss from Dilbert."
  • "It turns out, though, that there is a reason for all of this—the lyrics, the video, the hair, everything. And that reason is...ALIENS."
  • "Did they deserve better?"
    Todd: Maybe not a whole lot better, but... yeah, better.
    • He then said it's easy to see why A Flock of Seagulls only lasted so briefly: they were practically designed just for 1982 and 1983, which he considers a very unique brief period in pop music.
      Todd: Flock of Seagulls: Worthwhile band, stupid hair.

    I'm Gonna Be ( 500 Miles) 
  • Stating that to anyone, the duo would seem "like a Mike Myers character was somehow brought to life and cloned." Then goes on to show Mike Myers singing with half of the Proclaimers "because how the hell could he possibly not?"
  • His consistent attempts at Scottish accents.
  • "The Proclaimers are identical twins Craig and Charlie Reid, which quite frankly, that doesn't that doesn't strike me as Scottish enough names to describe these guys. If it were up to me, they'd go by Angus MacHaggis MacDougal and Tam O'Shanter the Bruce, and they'd dress like Groundskeeper Willie. ...You know, that might be going overboard a bit."
  • Finally getting around to the song, which was: Not a hit —At least at first.
    OK, now the hit
  • On the meaning of "haver," sarcastically asking, "Does that mean babbling out nonsense words?" Only to find out that's exactly what it means.
  • Todd says The Proclaimers were "too unique to ignore but too weird to keep around." From the YT comments:
    Todd: Too Unique to Ignore But Too Weird to Keep Around is my favourite Panic! at the Disco album.
  • "Did they deserve better?"
    Todd: Better? They seem to be doing pretty well for themselves.

    To Be With You 
  • The ultimate judgment on Mr. Big is that they were yet another band that fell victim to being in a dying genre.
    Todd:1989 did not need more hair metal. There were so many other new bands coming out that year that they had to compete against including Skid Row, Warrant, Enuff Z'nuff, Faster Pussycat, Vain, Shotgun Messiah, Dangerous Toys, Danger Danger, Bang Tango—oh my god, are these all real bands? I had to have made one of those up. Bang Tango? Undeterred, Mr. Big recorded a second album in 19... hold on a second. I'm missing bands here. Pretty Boy Floyd, Junkyard, Shark Island, Cats In Boots. [beat] The 80's, everyone.
  • Todd describing Mr. Big's lineupnote  as "a supergroup of people who weren't famous."

    In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida 
  • The intro opens with him playing the opening, with his keyboard set up to emulate a pipe organ:
    • He then continues...
    Todd: ...and this week we're gonna get groovy and funky, and I recommend that you get high as balls because this is about to get trippy.
  • "I guarantee you, this is the only episode I will ever do that's actually shorter than the song it's reviewing."
  • His vocal and pop up reactions to the band recording a deodorant jingle.
    Todd: In-A-Gadda-Da-Speedstick baby. (After he says this, "Do hippies even wear deodorant?" pops up on screen.)
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    Who Let The Dogs Out 
  • "This was just supposed to be a stupid, quickie episode about a stupid band; but holy God, the amount of cultural research I had to do to understand the goddamn 'Who Let the Dogs Out' band is staggering. So the Baha Men started in the early 80s, when they were called High Voltage, which would be a much better name for an AC/DC cover band, which I assume is why they changed it. In 1991, they became the Baha Men, so called because they're Bahaman. Bahamanian? I think it's Bahamian, actually. Anyway, they're from the Bahamas."
  • "Obviously, this didn't make it over here to America, but it made them huge stars in the Caribbean. And Japan, weirdly enough. Because Japan."
  • Todd: I wanna take you back to the original song by Trinidadian singer Anslem Douglas. Honestly, it doesn't sound all that different from the Baha Men version that you know and love. (...?) But listening to it, I discovered something I didn't actually realize before.
    Anslem: ♪Say, A doggy is nuttin' if he don't have a bone\ All doggy hold ya' bone♪
    Todd: Holy crap, this song is about sex.
  • "It's a catchphrase far more than a song. It's basically just 'wazzup!' except three minutes long."
  • Late in the video he starts including his dog Kali in the review. He even ends the review by taking it for a walk.
    Todd: ♪Who let the dogs out? Woof, woof, woof♪ ...say woof, doggie. Say woof. Say... useless.
  • When discussing their career after WLTDO.
    Todd: In case you can't tell, at this point the Baha Men had found their new calling: mixing watered down hip-hop tropes and slick but soulless island inflected music, often using familiar samples that managed to be upbeat and yet deeply annoying when listened to for more than a minute. Or, in other words, they became the Caribbean Black Eyed Peas.
  • When riffing their music video, which has several white college-age kids telling the band they're unused to parties.
    Todd: Partying? Since when do which rich white frat boys like us know anything about partying?
  • Todd mentioning that when Paw and Elisa went on honeymoon to the Bahamas, most of the music they heard there consisted of the Baha Men.
  • "Did they deserve any better?"
    Todd: Umm... in a better world, they would be famous for things other than what they are famous for.
  • He finishes the video by taking his girlfriend's dog out.

    Somebody's Watching Me 
  • "It's Halloween again, boils and ghouls, and that means it's time for the annual One Hit Wonderland Spooktacular Edition, a proud tradition that dates all the way back to last year. And I'm probably not gonna do another one. But, you know, woo-hoo, Halloween! Guess I should costume again. Let's see what we've got in the prop box here. I'm a...Chinese pirate-carpenter!"
  • "When the King of Pop heard it, he found himself irresistibly attracted to this song about a terrified, privacy-obsessed paranoiac losing his mind. God only knows why."
  • After Todd gave off the impression in his "Party Rock Anthem" that he didn't think the song was very good, he gives an intro that leads viewers into thinking he's just going to be saying the same thing but then does a bait and switch by declaring "'Somebody's Watching Me' is just an awesome song."
  • Todd: You know those artists, like David Bowie and Madonna, who evolve and reinvent themselves with every successive album? We don't cover those on this show.The video for his failed follow-up has him coming straight from a Rockwell concert, being mobbed by screaming Rockwell fans.
    Captions: shitthatdidnthappen.mov
  • Todd: His next single was titled "Knife". You'd think that's continuing the stalker/horror theme, but it's actually a soft, slow R&B ballad, and it is here where he demonstrates the full extent of his talent.
    Rockwell: ♪You cut away the heart of my life♪
    Todd: You cut out "the heart of my life." This sounds like some badly translated Asian karaoke song.
  • At the end of the video, Todd is unable to find out what Rockwell is doing these days because the man has apparently disappeared off the face of the planet. Todd suspects he must be hiding from the myriad of stalkers he sang about over his career, before coming to a terrible conclusion: "Or maybe...maybe they got him."
  • His "Did They Deserve Better?" serves as a great counter-point to Bobby Pickett the previous year:
    Todd: *ahem* (to the tune of "Somebody's Watching Me" opening riff) NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NO-NOOO! NOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO. I can't emphasize how little business Rockwell had being a recording artist.
    • He went on to say Rockwell would never have gotten anywhere if he weren't the child of a famous producer. And even then, this one song was a fluke.
      Todd: Someone may have been watching him, but I can't imagine why.

    Smooth Criminal 
  • "Our subject this week is one that owes their entire career to the King of Pop, Michael Jackson. ...Wait, wasn't that the last episode? Huh, weird. Yes, Rockwell wasn't the only person whose career was launched by Michael. There's also Weird Al, all the other Jacksons, nearly every other male pop singer since..."
  • "For a brief moment in 2001, when Korn and Limp Bizkit were still some of the biggest names in music, Alien Ant Farm looked like they might be able to step up and take their place alongside those legends of rock. ...Kill me."
  • Todd being confused by Prometheus.
    Todd: "Their name comes from the idea that we're just an interstellar terrarium and that we were all just put here by aliens, like at the beginning of Prometheus. I think that's what Prometheus was about, I have no idea what Prometheus was about. Their official biography says that this whole idea came from a 'daydream' their guitarist had, and you can infer what that means on your own.""
  • "According to Allmusic, their main influence is Primus. Well, congratulations, guys, you sound absolutely nothing like Primus. Lead singer Dryden Mitchell (consulting script) also counts among his influences Edie Brickell and Tracy Chapman. (Drops script. Cue clips from "What I Am" and "Fast Car") You guys not know what the word 'influence' means?"
  • Todd: Actually did score a major label deal after striking up a powerful friendship. Yes, they lucked into a very lucrative relationship with a band that was soon to be music legends.
    Papa Roach: ♪Cut my life into pieces\ This is my last resort\ Suffocation...♪
    Todd: Pfft! Oh, God, the memories. It was such a weird time in music; I can't believe we let this get popular. God, what do angry white boys listen to now? Do we just not have angry white boys anymore?
  • "The failed follow-up:"
    Todd: Ha, they just released "Movies" again. Yep, they apparently really thought "Movies" had it in it to be a big hit. Which is weird because this isn't a fun song. At all. As far as I can tell, it's a poorly written breakup song.
    Dryden: ♪In our short years, we come long way\ To treat it bad and throw away♪
    Todd: "We come long way to treat it bad." Did the Incredible Hulk write this? The fact that they kept throwing money at this lousy song is just astonishing to me. It's like they made a giant, glittering, diamond-encrusted statue of a dog turd.
  • At one point, AAF's later material is so depressing that Todd grabs a giant jug of liquor.
  • The episode's slow but continuous transformation from an analysis of Alien Ant Farm's career into a look at Todd's utter contempt for Nu Metal as a whole.
    "After listening to so much nu-metal that a Tapout logo spontaneously appeared on my hoodie, I can now say Alien Ant Farm weren't whiny enough."
  • His constant reminders of how fast your group's careers go up if their first hits are covers, just like Alien Ant Farm's.
  • "Did they deserve better?"
    Todd: (imitating Michael Jackson) No, no!
    • Todd says Alien Ant Farm didn't have the personality to do much better than they did. He refers to them as the least-interesting band he's reviewed on OHW to that point.
      Todd: Even Michael Jackson would have it better that decade than Alien Ant Farm. And he died!

    You Light Up My Life 
  • "We're gonna look at the one stunning hit of the most softacular, milquetoast, blank, Good Housekeeping balladeer of all time, and then we're just gonna keep digging further. Look, I just need to wash the taste of Miley out of my brain, alright? So, Debby Boone: 'You White Up My Life'. You...light up my life. Let's go."
  • "Pat Boone was one of the original teen idols, and, in terms of chart success, he rivaled the King himself. In fact, he and Elvis have a lot in common. They were both instrumental in bringing black music to white America. The difference between him and Elvis was Pat Boone did it by making it suck. In other words, for decades, Pat Boone would've been the whitest kid you know."
  • Todd lampshades the film's very obvious dub job for Didi Conn by referring to her as "Lina Lamont", and compares it to Kristen Schaal singing "I've Got the Power".
  • When Todd explains that he couldn't get the whole movie on Netflix, there's a scene of his page which lists the movie as "Short wait". As he says it, an arrow points to Short wait and says "My ass, Netflix"
  • Todd's attempt to look up the songwriter takes a dark turn:
    Todd: Songwriter Joseph Brooks never came out and said it was about Jesus, but I have to believe he must have been some kind of devout Christian. This is the kind of song he wrote, and it just goes to reason. He had to be some kind of Bible-thumping goody-goody. I bet he became, like, a musical director for Pat Robertson or somebody. What is he doing now?
    New York Post article: "Sicko songwriter, accused rapist Joseph Brooks kills self"
    Todd: Huh.
  • After generally poking fun at Debby's apparent(ly-enforced) goody-two-shoes image for the entire episode, Todd has a minor My God, What Have I Done? moment right before the final segment.
    Todd: Actually, despite the fact that I've done nothing but talk shit about her, I do want to point out that in everything I've heard her say, she just seems genuinely just like the nicest person in the world, and she looks absolutely amazing for her age. And I actually feel really bad for all the things I've said about her in this video. *thumbs up*
  • "Did she deserve better?"
    Todd: Umm... I don't feel like my life was particularly lit up by listening to more Debby Boone.

    You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) 
  • "Today, we are getting as in-your-face 80s as we can get, as you can tell by the fact that our singer appears to be dressed as a geisha pirate. Yes, even in an era where everyone pretty much dressed ridiculous, we're going to look at a band that made everyone else look about as gawdy and colorful as the Dave Matthews Band."
  • "Actually, I want to point out that the full name of the song is 'You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)', not 'Right Round'. Anyone who confuses it with the Flo Rida song will get punched."
  • On the inevitable fashion comparisons between Pete Burns and Boy George:
    Todd: "Naturally, the two men dealt with it with all the down-to-earth, drama-free sensibility one would expec... it got catty immediately. Pete Burns accused George every which way of ripping off his style; in response, Boy George was quoted as saying, "It's not who did it first, it's who did it best."
    *OH SNAP!*
    BURN
  • They got tired of being The Cure or Siouxsie and the Banshees's fun sibling, and they went full-on, high energy dance pop after they met an up-and-coming production team known as Stock, Aitken and Waterman. (cue Rickroll) Ha! It's relevant! So it doesn't count! Ha!"
  • "'You Spin Me Round' starts off with a slow buildup..."
    • Also funny is Todd's mention that constant, over-blown synth excess was pretty much S.A.W.'s signature production style, while the more famous dance hits of theirs playing in the back (Bananarama's "Venus", Kylie Minogue's "The Loco-Motion") certainly don't discourage the assertion.
  • Todd being spun right 'round by a hilariously sped-up version of the song.
  • "I know what you're thinking. Isn't there a video where he's twirling a parasol while riding a clam?" [cut to the video for "In Too Deep", which features exactly that]
  • "Did they deserve better?"
    Todd: God, what makes a person think that much plastic surgery is a good idea? That's just grotesque. Sorry, what was the question? Uh, no. No they didn't.
    • Even better considering Todd's earlier assertion that Burns was more handsome than George in the 1980's, whereas now George is better-looking simply by default, resembling a dumpy man in his fifties rather than "a cross between a Psychlo and a squashed tomato". Made even better that, since 2016, George slimmed down and grew a beard, looking even better than before, pretty much just looking like an olde, suaver, rougher version of his iconic image.
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