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Excalibur (Soul Eater)
Excalibur, God of Annoyance and Irritation (Holy Sword, Seiken)
- Theme Song: Excalibuuuurrr... Excalibuuurrrrr... From the United K, I'm looking for heaven, I'm going to Californiaaaa....
- Greater God (Though some wishes he's just self-proclaiming and instead being a Quasideity or Demigod)
- Symbol: (ﺧ益ﺨ) (The 'I-Have-Met-Excalibur' Face◊ (Yes, even his symbol is annoyed)).
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
- Portfolio: Absurdly Sharp Blade, Catchy Songs, Annoying The Hell Of Anyone Who Meets Him, Making Everyone Who Meets Him Make This Face: (ﺧ益ﺨ), Cloud Cuckoo Lander, Talkative Loon, Infinity+1 Sword As Long As One Can Stand His Intolerability, "FOOL!", Crazy Awesome, Eldritch Abominations.
- Domain: Irritation, Weapons, Emotion, Mentalism.
- Those who can tolerate him: Arturia Pendragon, Sonic the Hedgehog, Bugs Bunny, Deadpool, Chuck Norris, Hades, Hakumen, Shu Shirakawa, Michael Carpenter, Tingle, Wander, Naughty Bear… and "You" can do it too!
- (Outright) Ally: King Arthur
- High Priest: The Annoying Orange
- Opposed by: Black Star ("SO ANNOYIIIINNNGGG!!!"), Death the Kid ("Disgusting…") and anyone that comes across him, especially those voiced by Takehito Koyasu and/or Troy Baker.
- This is a different form of the Holy Sword Excalibur found in the House of Weapons.
- Doesn't matter who the person is, he has made everyone he comes across to make the face (ﺧ益ﺨ). Including even Melkor, of all people. Enter his temple at your own risk. Only those equally insane and nuts-driving go there. Those who do would be considered the great ones… though they still prefer their own methods of combat instead of becoming his Meister.
- Several people, especially those from the GUAG has been expressing interest in tossing Excalibur to Yuuki Terumi, if only to see the Trolling God get a taste of his own medicine and lose his temper with Excalibur's loonydom. Excalibur himself has no idea who the hell Terumi is, but he'd be more than delighted to tell his five-hour story. The GUAG's problem right now is to find a Meister who could STAND Excalibur to start an eventual fight.
- Villains such as Frieza, The Joker, Cell, The Boss, Kefka, and Shinnok will skip to just blow up his house… only to find no scratch on it or him.
- Excalibur cannot feel any anger. This is why he has no opinions on the struggle between Good and Evil, whether a man is an utter bastard or All-Loving Hero. However, he is seriously adamant in talking a lot about himself and his 'exploits' (and his 5 hour story time) to everyone he meets, in which the anger would get into those around him, irritating them regardless of their morality scale.
- His legend begins in the 12th century…
- He is SLIGHTLY more respectful to Arturia than to most other members of the Pantheon, as she is a Gender Flipped King Arthur. The "SLIGHTLY" means he doesn't interrupt her as frequently when she talks, doesn't call her a FOOL! as often, and is willingly to let her use him without fulfilling all 1000 provisions of his contract, only 500 of them. However, he still wants her to listen to his 5 hour story time and his 'exploits' in full detail. So, she still is annoyed with him.
- On the topic of people who are like King Arthur that Excalibur is more respectful towards, he also is a bit respectful towards Wander upon learning how he managed to pull out a legendary sword that only a true hero can wield. Also helps that Wander is possibly the only person in the pantheon that not only enjoys Excaliber's visits, but looks forward to them as well. Add in the fact that Wander not only enjoys his 5 hour story and follows the 1000 provisions (not because he wants to use him, but just out of respect), and he is also one of the few here that Excaliber will let willingly use. The pantheon, mainly Wander's enemies, consider themselves lucky as Wander is a pacifist and thus doesn't want to use Excaliber.
- Although Deadpool isn't remotely an Arthur-esque figure, the two buddy up when they feel like it — for fun, fighting and reasons nobody else wants to know about. Worryingly often, for anybody in the vicinity. The provisions, caveats and everything else don't come into it, just... kindred spirits of, well... being agro. And, some definitions of comedy. Maybe.
- Another worrisome figure whom is able of wielding the sword is Naughty Bear himself, namely because He already had experiences with a talking sword before. Given his temple being in the house of SLAUGHTER, deities are often on alert to make sure that Naughty's time with the sword is as close to non-existent as possible.
- And then there's the actual King Arthur himself: after all, he is THE King Arthur, who was the only Meister he respected. And he's willing to not interrupt Arthur when he talks, and is actually willing to let Arthur use him in combat. As a matter of fact, he ceases to be annoying when in his presence.
- When he stops being annoying and speaks seriously, it usually means he has something important to say to someone, and they'd better listen up. There is one problem, though: It's difficult to read whether he's in serious mode or not, difficult to read if serious mode stops, because once he stops, he'll continue being annoying.
- He begins every afternoon with an afternoon tea, which makes him visit Iroh's house as it houses the best afternoon teas. The time of Excalibur's visit is dreaded by every of Iroh's customer AND Iroh himself.
- Hades will often speak with him after-afternoon tea, and they get along surprisingly well. No one quite yet know how he does it, but it's been theorized that since Hades is essentially the Trolling God of his own universe, he's more capable of handling Excalibur's antics. That, and Hades' is apparently trying to learn new ways to annoy people. Other gods know to leave the room whenever they begin speaking to each other.
- His status as Greater God can be confirmed as he is stated to be one of the Great Old Ones, on the same level as Shinigami, Asura and Eibon. He's stated to be the representation of Madness Through Rage and appears to do so via his annoying antics. Some have even hypothesized that his behavior is actually a clever way of dissuading whom he deems as "unworthy" from wielding him.
- Does not give out autographs.
Karin Yuuki, The Goddess who Subconsciously Breaks Thing In Anger (The Saint Of Steel, Isht Karin Orte, Judas Iscariot)
- Intermediate Goddess
- Symbol: Her tattoo
- Alignment: Lawful Good dips into Chaotic Neutral when jealous
- Portfolio: Action Girl, Immortality, Nigh-Invulnerability Because Destiny Says So, Psycho Lesbian Yandere, Drop the Hammer, Gender Flip
- Domains: Love, Immortality
- Allies: Evangeline/Yukihime, C.C, Jeanne D'Arc, Kirie Sakurame, Kuromaru Tokisaki
- Enemies: Anyone who would try to take Yukihime from her
- Opposes/Teeth-Clenched Teamwork with: Touta Konoe and Negi Springfield
- She ascended after hearing how Yukihime and Touta had both ascended without her knowledge. The first thing did however was attack Touta because she was jealous. She's also attacked Negi as well though he didn't know why.
- She has a habit of breaking things unconsciously in anger. So the house of craft are trying to create a unbreakable cup to makes sure she doesn't break them.
- It turns out that she possesses a special kind of immortality as she can't be harmed Because Destiny Says So.
- Is extremely obsessed with Yukihime it's speculated because of the kindness the latter shown her when she invited her to Uq Holder.
- She was invited to join the Yandere Quartet but she declined. She also didn't join Yandere Squad when it was formed.
- In combination of her impervious body and mastery of the Hammer and Katana make her a formidable opponent.
- Some of the more sadistic members of the pantheon look forward into capturing her seeing as she still feel pain. In order to torture her to their delight. Unfortunately for them she is well versed in combat and can beat back any attacker
- It turns out she is over 2000 years old, she can sympathize with C.C and Jeanne D'Arc being a victim of medieval torture. As she also suffered back then.
- She currently is trying to ship Kirie or Kuromaru with Touta so she can have Yukihime all to herself.
- She apparently doesn't mind having her clothes destroyed because of this it won't hinder her ability to find unlike other goddesses.
- She does occasionally work as a maid. Some god may hire her though she occasionally tends to break their glasses before serving whenever Touta or Negi are in the vicinity.
Natsu Dragneel, God of Anger Fueled Flames (Salamander, The Great Demon-Lord Dragneel, The Third God of Fire, E.N.D.)
- Theme Song: His titular theme song
- Intermediate God (Greater God with Dragon Force or Lightning Fire Dragon Slayer mode), unknown, but probably a Greater God as E.N.D.
- Symbol: the Fairy Tail mark
- Alignment: Chaotic Good, emphasis on the Chaotic
- Portfolio: Destructive Savior, Playing with Fire, Kill It with Fire, When All You Have Is Fire..., Hot-Blooded, Personality Powers, Genius Ditz, True Companions, Dragon Motifs, Door-Busting, Shock and Awe, Watching his father die in front of his eyes after going through so much to see him again, Swearing vengeance over said father's death whilst screaming towards the heavens, Hidden Villain, The revived younger brother of Zeref
- Domains: Fire, Destruction, Loyalty, Fire, Dragons, more fire, Demons.
- Allies: Lucy, Gildarts, Zuko, Yamamoto, Monkey D Luffy, Erza Scarlet, Gajeel Redfox Cana Alberona, Juvia, Wendy Marvell, Haru Glory, Elie, Volcarona, Hyodo Issei, Luka, Hanzo Hasashi/Scorpion, Ragna the Bloodedge, Takeda Takahashi, Nagisa Furukawa, Meliodas, Illyana Rasputin/Magik.
- Rivals: Gajeel, Gray, Dovahkiin, (almost) every Good Dragon god, Tatsumi, Vali Lucifer, Kuai Liang/Sub-Zero (friendly), Porttgas D. Ace
- Opposed by: Tojo
- Enemies: Relius Clover, Ornstein and Smough, Acnologia, Mard Geer, Zeref, Shinnok
- Followers: Chandra Nalaar
- Is banned from the houses of Craft, Technology, and Travel, due to his tendency to focus on beating the bad guys and ignoring all collateral damage in the meantime. Several gods have been recently having to devote all their free time into fixing what he's broken.
- Though it's not like he wants to go to the house of Travel considering his extreme motion sickness.
- Once managed to take down half a town trying to take out a criminal. This was not an isolated incident.
- Can seem a bit stupid, but that doesn't mean to think of him as an easy fight. He's a rather good strategist when in battle, he just has trouble maintaining normal levels of sanity outside of battle.
- He held a great level of respect for Yamamoto and was greatly saddened by his death by the hands of Yhwach.
- Once fought Harry Dresden. He lost because Harry has other things on his side than fire, and was smart enough not to use fire after Natsu ate it the first time.
- Is actually good friends with Luffy, both capable of eating through food. This started when they both ended up stranded in an island on a fight.
- He currently spends his time pestering other dragon gods to fight him. The one dragon-based god he doesn't pester, however, is Issei Hyodo; Natsu's found a kindred spirit in him, as they both act as leaders amongst their peers, and enter a state of overwhelming anger if somebody they care of gets hurt.
- He is a constant target of Dragonslayer Ornstein and Executioner Smough, as with the rest of the Fairy Tail Guild. He does not like it one bit and once tried to set both of them on fire.
- He got fed up with being moved all over the place and nearly caused a massive flash-fire made of pure rage.
- Nearly blew up the House of Emotion when he learned that Acnologia had ascended. He has since been training alongside Gajeel and Wendy in preparation for their inevitable clash. Issei has also proposed to help Natsu in the bout.
Natsu: "I will live on! I will get stronger! And I'm gonna grind Acnologia's ass into dragon dust!
- Actually did blow up the House of Emotion in a surge of pure anger and sadness after witnessing his father's death first-hand by Acnologia's claws. Since then, he left his Temple and half-abandoned everyone, even his friends, but returned a year later. He's had to get stronger because Acnologia is now permanently on the top of his shit list.
- Has sparred multiple times with the recently ascended Luka, who claims he reminds him of the Heavenly Knight Granberia. Natsu likes the comparison after he learned about how strong she was, though he thinks it's both weird and funny that one of Luka's spirits also has the same name as him: Salamander.
- Has made it one of his goals to keep Mard Geer from trying to bring E.N.D. into the Pantheon, alongside the rest of the Fairy Tail guild and especially Gray. Unknown to him, E.N.D. already is inside the Pantheon, just sleeping and unaware of his own arrival. Specifically, Natsu himself.
- Also resides in House of Fire and Electricity.
Painwheel, Goddess of Retaliation (Carol, Subject 0-84, Strashun)
- Lesser Goddess
- Symbol: The Buer Drive
- Theme Music: The Lives We Left Behind and The Lives We Tried To Reclaim
- Alignment: Chaotic Neutral, True Neutral as Carol
- Portfolio: Being Turned Into a Weapon Before Fighting Back, Being Driven by Rage, Used to Be a Sweet Kid, The Berserker, Horribly Experimented Body, Spinning Scythe Wheel, Sprouting Spikes Out Of Her Body, Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds
- Domains: Hatred, Experiments, Blades, Spikes
- Allies: Filia, Sakura Matou, Scharlachrot, Peacock (maybe?), Big Band (definitely), Wolverine, X-23, Lucy, Syzoth/Reptile, Hisako.
- Enemies: VALENTINE, Bloody Marie, Any god with Mind Control powers, Mad Scientists, Ragyo Kiryuin, The Millennium (or to be specific, Zorin Blitz)
- Carol used to be a sweet girl... until she was captured by Valentine, experimented by Lab Zero, gave her the Buer Drive weapon, Gae Bolga parasite, injecteder with Skullgirls blood and then brainwashed her to do their bidding. Unfortunately, she started to break free of her control, and had one simple motivation: kill every one who's behind her current state. So remember; do not heavily arm someone through mind-breaking experiments unless you know you can control it.
- Was happily embraced by Filia upon her ascension, as she had remembered being friends with her. This moment is remembered by many as one of the few times Painwheel has ever been unambiguously happy, and she has since been often found in company with Filia and very protective as well.
- Even though she seems like an easy mind control subject, it is highly recommended to not try to brainwash her. Because if she snaps out of it, she WILL slice you to shreds.
- Some of the Champions of Runeterra say that she sounds like Karma on a really bad day. Though this does have the benefit of remind every one not to piss a pacifist off.
- She really hates Ragyo. Not only is her experiments with Life Fibers feel similar to what she had to go through, not only is she no stranger to mind manipulation, but the fact that she sounds like Valentine just drives her to the edge.
- Allies of sort with Sakura Matou due of both of them retaliating against those who wronged them. Also allies with Lucy (all three of Lucy's personalities) due of also being an experiment who was broken horribly in the mind.
- Scharlachrot seems to be drawn to her, but she is unable to explain why is that the case.
- Both Wolverine and X-23 have tried to befriend her due of all the things she had to go through. Wolverine especially since he feels sick of thinking about for some one so young like Painwheel being subjected to those experiments.
- Ultimately, Painwheel only wishes to return back to normal. Especially when she saw one possible fate of hers of her parents being scared shitless after seeing her. In rare cases she manages to lapse back into Carol mindset, she seems to act like a Valley Girl.
- To say that she reacted badly of hearing Valentine ascending would be a huge understatement. Though on other hand, the fact that she is here means that she can pursue her revenge again.
- She was eventually adopted into the Lab 8 family with the ascension of Big Band, by himself. While she is sincerely thankful for him taking pity on her, she does wish for Peacock to stop calling her "Needles". Despite this, she does get along with her from times, especially with her being aware of other forms of work, including some other mad scientists, like Ragyo. She is currently pondering the possibility of teaming up with Peacock one day.
Shizuo Heiwajima, God of the Hair-Trigger Temper (Shizu-chan, The GARtender, Toughest Man in Ikebukuro)
- Lesser God by the paperwork, but nearer to Greater God in terms of physical power
- Symbol: His trademark bartender suit; alternately, a thrown vending machine
- Alignment: Chaotic Good/Chaotic Neutral
- Portfolio: Hair Trigger Tempers, Unstoppable Rage, Berserkers, One-Men Armies, Strongest Men of Their Worlds, Those Who Come Back Stronger Every Time, Super Strength, Implacable Men, Memetic Badasses, Low-key Reactions to Extensive Injuries
- Domain: Rage, Violence, Revenge, Self-Hatred
- Allies: Kratos, Bruce Banner, Asura, Celty Sturlston, Ragna The Bloodedge, Kazuma Kiryu.
- Enemies: Pretty much all villainous Manipulative and Magnificent Bastards, but especially Izaya Orihara.
- Rival: Claire Stanfield
- Upon finding out that Izaya was in the Panthon, Shizuo went on a Roaring Rampage of Revenge and Ascended to hunt him down. How did he ascend? "I just did."
- Gets on rather well with deities who are straightforward with him. He'll still beat the crap out of anybody who comes looking for a fight, but if they're blunt and honest about it, he won't be angry.
- For this reason, when dealing with him, Batman and Lelouch drop the crap and are frank with him, since they're know that screwing with his head is a pretty big Berserk Button.
- In the case of Lelouch, however, Shizuo has remarked that he pisses him off for some reason, but hasn't quite been able to figure it out. Lelouch, in turn, simply does what he can at every opportunity to not piss off Shizuo, and frequently provides information leading to the whereabouts of Izaya Orihara. As a result, the two have a something of a platonic love-hate relationship.
- For this reason, when dealing with him, Batman and Lelouch drop the crap and are frank with him, since they're know that screwing with his head is a pretty big Berserk Button.
- Many Gods are betting a match between him and Claire Stanfield. Behind the scenes, Izaya Orihara rigs the bets in Claire's favor to spite and provoke Shizuo.
- Frequently heads over to the Food Pantheon for milk.
- It should be noted that Shizuo is not known for starting fights. Finishing them, on the other hand....
- All attempts to actually kill him thus far have failed, and the only lasting result has been becoming even more powerful than before. When various deities have asked about that, Shizuo simply replies, "Well, Shinra says - actually, who gives a damn what he says?! I COME BACK STRONGER EVERY TIME!!!!"
- Due to the fact that both of their enemies are Trolls, he strikes up an alliance with Ragna the Bloodedge for this very reason.
- Despite possessing a Hair-Trigger Temper, Shizuo ultimately strives to be a peaceful man, and that quality helped him get along with Kazuma Kiryu. In fact, Kiryu was impressed by the young man's brute strength, but noted his lack of finesse that often leaves him open, so he offered to formally train Shizuo in the art of combat. In return, he has to give Haruka soft drinks for free.
- Shizuo doesn't fear anything... except for Albedo due to the fact that Albedo is more insane than he is and the fact that they sound so similar.
Benson Dunwood, God of Visible Anger (Death Dragon, the Fifth Disc Master)
- Theme Song: The 150-Piece Drum Solo
- Demigod (Greater God when angered enough)
- Symbol: His face, preferably when angry.
- Alignment: Lawful Good at best, Lawful Evil at worst.
- Portfolio: constant threats to fire his employees, Retired Badasses, turning red when angry, which happens a lot, enjoying fun once in a while, stern leadership because he doesn't want his employees to end up like he did
- Domains: Anger, Leadership, Suffering
- Allies: Mordecai and Rigby (occasional enemies), Skips, Dr. Cox
- Enemies: Randall Ross, Slackers, Those who waste their lives, The Janitor, Anonymous
- Mordecai and Rigby groaned when they met him in the Pantheon, though he treated them and Skips with drinks afterwards.
- Recently, he's been trying to control his anger, with chicken wings.
- Benson impresses several gods in the Houses of Music and Gaming with his skills in both fields, to the point where some wonder how he ended up with such a crappy job.
- Gets along with Dr. Cox due to their similar philosophies, but he can't stand the Janitor's antics.
- One time, Benson ran into Deadpool and their encounter resulted in Benson going berserk on Deadpool, screaming insults at him that were heard all over the Pantheon, and a crater was left in its wake. Even Gordon Ramsey and Beerus remained silent. Unfortunately, Deadpool remained unfazed, and Benson had to be dragged away before he could lash out again.
- Benson unknowingly gained the enmity of Anonymous by destroying the very avatar of the Internet in his homeworld, even if it was temporary. Some believe that his actions are good however, as he pretty much freed everyone from some weird, almost gravitational force.
- He's currently trying out several suits from the House of Craft, in hopes of reuniting with a suit that once granted him powers. He believes that Senketsu is the suit, reincarnated as a Sailor Fuku.
zzzzzzzzz-SNORT Huh?! Whazzat? Aw, dagnabbit! Cranky Kong, the Grumpy Old God
- Theme: Ah, this is a catchy little ditty.
- Rank: Back in my day, I was a prime primate Overdeity! Although, I guess Demigod will have to do for now.
- Symbol: A nice well-used rocking chair and my trusty walking stick. Just what an old-timer like me likes.
- Alignment: Do you really need to give me one of these fandangeled things? Bah! Well, call me Neutral with occassional Good tendencies when I feel like it. After all, that lazy no-good monkey and his flea-bitten friends need this elder to help them once in a while!
- Portfolio: I'm old and I'm grouchy! Eh? Don't give me no lip, youngster! I'm old so I'm entitled to be rude! Why, when I was your age, we only had one simple stick to control our movements and one simple button! If we were really lucky, we'd have TWO buttons! Married? Ah yes, me and the missus, we had an understanding. We understood to disagree one another! Heh heh! Sigh... What am I saying? I miss her every single day since she passed on. So what if all I gave that oaf and his friends were some cheesy gameplay hints? I'll have you know I'm a licensed chemist who has brewed some pretty powerful brews and an engineer who gave that cheeky chimp Diddy the Rocketbarrel jet-pack! Why, I finally decided to step up and show all these whippersnappers there's some strength left in me wielding nothing but my walking stick! How's that for an old-timer like me, eh?! Hey, you tropers out there, pay attention to your elders! Kids these days have as much attention span as one of those gosh-darned loading screens.
- Domains: Hmph! Well I guess my speciality in is Grumpiness, Rudeness and Being Elderly! There! You happy?! coughWidowers is another domain, toocough
- Allies: Naturally, that big oaf gorilla son of mine (or is that grandson? Darn, this old brain!) (Donkey Kong) and his pint-sized nephew (Diddy Kong), old Mr. 2-Dimensions himself, of course (Mr. Game and Watch). That plumber (Mario), his long-tongued dinosaur (Yoshi), and that youngster wearing green and holding that fancy breadknife of his (Link) I consider heroes after me and Donkey. That bottomless stomach of a yellow dot and that spinach-scarfing sailor (Pac-Man and Popeye respectively) I also enjoy company, up to a point. That big guy in overalls with the oversized mitts (Wreck-It-Ralph) and that handyman buddy he hangs around with (Fix-It-Felix Jr.) are also fine by me somehow. Those 2 gamers (9-volt and 18-volt) have some good tastes, I must admit. That rich old scottish duck (Scrooge McDuck) I owe a debt to. That rather old archer (Huang Zhong). I guess as long as you're 2-D and 8-bit you're... tolerated. Carl Fredricksen's one of the few I really like to talk with... for certain reasons...
- Teeth-Clenched Teamwork with: Hmph! Look at all these modern video game characters with their fancy polygon or computer generated bodies! Nothing but fancy-shmancy show-offs, I tell ya! Least, if they're on the side of good and if Donkey says so, I guess I'll do my best and tolerate them as well.
- Enemies: That fat lizard with the bloodshot eye! (King K. Rool) Never trust a cold-blood, says I.
- Whazzat? What brought me here? Well, this pantheon needed someone of my experience and age to shake things up between the leagues of the goody two-shoes and those meanie bad guys, and lucky these good guys have me around! Heh heh!
- When I arrived, this smart-guy in red showed up and asked me if I already learned to speak in bolds and italics and that he was willing to show me! Dagnabbit! The nerve of that fraudster telling me such tomfoolery! I'll give him a taste of my stick on his head if he comes back!
- I spend my days in this temple that odd fellow who talks in law jargon that acts as the judge here (the Judge) assigned me, too. I prefer being on the porch, rocking back and forth in my rocking chair seeing all the weirdoes around me. Sometimes, they get too close for comfort to my place and I have to teach them a lesson! Crazy kids! Get off my lawn!
- Eh? You're asking me if Donkey is my child or my grandkid?! Let me set you straight, sonny! That big gorilla is my... uh... my... Oh, fer the love of...! Don't bother an old ape with such silly questions!
- This place is not as bad as I thought. Sure you got your assortment of strange wide-eyed kids and adults with weird languages, some folks that jumped of the sunday papers, your high-and-mighty big bad chaos god or two, and even some that come from TV land. But least there's some of my old friends and rivals of my time like Game & Watch, the plumber, Pac-Man, and even that sea-dog Popeye! Won't be bored, no siree!
- Even though I prefer not to socialize with those 3-D polygon upstarts, there is one fellow I do talk to once in a while: Old Carl. Being on different branches of the primate tree aside, he and I both share the pain of losing our respective mates. We both reminisce on our lives with them. He with Ellie and me with Wrinkly. Just like Ellie helped Carl, I guess Wrinkly being gone made me realize how important family was and maybe that's why I decided to help Donkey and his friends more.
- Isn't it nice when kids actually respect their elders? Well, that just very well may be the reason I appreciate that 9-volt and 18-volt duo; they got their priorities in order, let me tell ya'! They KNOW a good game and a hard level when they see one! I even decided to accompany the kids themselves and head over to that fancy house of Game Design and make with them some challenging levels for the Pantheon to take part of! Ha; I would love to see that lazy brown gorilla and fancy plumber get through our latest level!
- I got tired of being left out on all that big ape's adventures, even though I said many years ago that I wouldn't be caught dead starring in one of those fancy more-than-8-bit games he stars in as long as I lived, but I've decided those whippersnappers needed someone to look out for them and teach them how we do it back in my day! That banana-brain and those two cheeky youngsters need all the help they can get, after all! Are you seeing me, Wrinkly? I told ya I got life in me yet!
- In fact, I called in on old McDuck at his Money Bin in the Commerce section and he taught me some neat tricks with his cane, including that patented pogo jump of his! Of course, that old skinflint wouldn't teach me unless I gave him something valuable in return. I guess Donkey wouldn't mind if one or two golden bananas from his hoard were used as payment. Heh heh!
- I dunno why those goshdarn robots scare the pants off of everyone. They always die! I keep telling them to get good. Been doin' that for forty years! But do they listen to me? No! They're worse than my grandson... son... whatever, at following my directions!
Squidward Quincy Tentacles, God of Cranky Neighbors (Big Nose, Squidzzy, Squidward Tortellini, Captain Magma, Sour Note)
- Demigod (Intermediate as Sour Note)
- Symbol: His clarinet
- Alignment: True Neutral
- Portfolio: Butt Monkey, Enraged by Idiocy, The Eeyore, Bad At The Clarinet, Jerks With A Soft Spot (Sometimes), Perpetual Frowner, Small Name, Big Ego, Occasional Breaths Of Release, Hidden Depths, Deadpan Snarker, Expert Radar-Dodging, Born Unlucky, Octopi Squids, Lethal Fry Chef
- Domains: Sea Life, Grumpiness, Cynicism, Pride, Music
- High Priest: Mr Wilson
- Followers: Gaylord Robinson, Mr Curry, Fred Mertz
- Allies: Ned Flanders, Donald Duck, Al Bundy, Grumpy Bear, Ood Sigma, Benson, Tae Shimura, Ika Musume, Anne Hanakoizumi, Jigglypuff, Kotome Ichinose... and Viral apparently.
- Enemies: Plankton (sometimes), Princess Morbucks, Eliza and Neil Reagen, Excalibur, Gladstone Gander
- Opposes: Spongebob Squarepants and Patrick Star, Dennis the Mennis, Bart and Homer Simpson, Billy
- Opposed by: The Houses of Craft and Music, Bob Belcher
- Fears: The House of Ghosts, the Kraken, Cthulhu, Yagyuu
- Pities: Meg Griffin
- Under the sea, lies the snooty, well-cultured octopus Squidward Tentacles. For a while, life seemed to be going good for him until a pineapple fell out of the sky and next to his house. There, Spongebob Squarepants would call home and become his new neighbor. Combined with his other neighbor being Patrick Star, he'd develop a consistent annoyment-induced migraine and become the epitome of a Cranky Neighbor. Now, he must have to deal with them as gods in the pantheon. He was very grateful to learn that he wasn't in the same house as Spongebob or Patrick and thus could take a break from being their neighbors. Still, part of him misses the chaos they'd bring to his life.
- Despite the name, Squidward is technically an octopus instead of a squid. It's unclear why he only has six tentacles instead of eight, but being Squidward he probably lost them at one point. Also, in spite of being a cephalopod he is still terrified of the Kraken and Cthulhu like almost anyone. Squidward's closer to the octopoid-looking Ood Sigma though, as with Ika Musume due to also being a Butt Monkey. Though he hasn't any interest in Octodad or Blooper, he does have some respect for them being fellow cephalopods.
- Is known to get cranky due to annoying, childish or outrageous behavior, which has gotten him a number of friends in the pantheon. He's happy to invite Ned Flanders over as he also has to deal with Homer Simpson annoying him, and Benson for dealing with his employers. He's found Donald Duck to be a great friend, as they both are driven mad by the chaos around them and just want a normal, lucky life. He's chosen to avoid the House of Fire and Electricity; at one point he got electrocuted and had a complete revamp in personality, out-doing Spongebob in sheer cheerfulness. Even without the "shock therapy", a little of Spongebob has still rubbed on him.
- Finally discovered someone more annoying and stupid than Patrick Star in the form of Billy. He's also found Bart and Dennis' pranks exceedingly frustrating.
- For a while, Squidward proudly proclaimed he wasn't afraid of ghosts. After an encounter with the Flying Dutchman, he's completely reconsidered and is now terrified of the House of Ghosts. He's also scared at Yagyuu due to her being able to summon a giant squid and enjoying calamari. Even though she said she doesn't eat sentient octopi, attitudes under the sea lead him to have his doubts. Considered the Inklings to be vulgar in their use of ink, however was quickly informed that their ink doesn't work the same way it does for him. Awkward laughing from Squidward followed.
- Strange as it may seem, Squidward was a Beastman helping work with Viral. He's still happy to be in employee by Viral since he's better than Mr Krabs.
- Is considered by most of the pantheon to be one of the worst clarinet players out there. At best, he's mediocore. However his dour attitude often results in him playing it really poorly. Rejected by the House of Music, he was kicking the trash can nearby until he ended up encountering Jigglypuff and Kotome Ichinose, who quickly got where he was coming from; Jigglypuff was sick of people falling asleep at her music, and Kotome at people hating her music. The three have teamed up together in a band to show the House of Music up.
- While a decent cook for fancy and high-cultured meals, he can't fry cook for his life. Mainly because he can't give a damn about it. Still, this failure of cooking leads him to understand where Tae Shimura is coming from. Bob Belcher was completely offended to see what his take of burgers were. The House of Craft is sick of him sending them his art. He's not actually bad, but the fact he constantly makes pics of his ugly mug comes off as really vain. Still, he seems better off ugly looking than when some Magic Plastic Surgery made him too irresistible and popular for his tastes.
- Squidward is one of the biggest Butt Monkeys in the pantheon, often getting into funny injuries or other chaos. Sometimes he's an Asshole Victim, sometimes he's just a Chew Toy. This bad luck has led him to sympathize with Al Bundy and Anne Hanakoizumi, who have teamed up to prevent their respective poor luck. As much as he hates his job at the Krusty Krab, he ended up homeless the last time he left. Him and Mr Krabs also have a relationship going on.
- Despite his horrible luck, good things happen to him once in a while so he's not a total chew toy. Still, it happens a lot and as such Squidward's sympathetic to an even bigger Chew Toy than himself; the Fallen Meg Griffin. He's focused a lot of his time protecting her, and whenever Peter Griffin tries to visit he'll try to throttle him with tentacles. Sometimes they do a magic act as "Megward the Wizard".
- Hates smarmy, rich successful folks: they remind his of his hated rival, Squilliam Fancyson. The only people he hates more than them is smarmy, rich Born Lucky folk like Gladstone Gander. Squidward believed he knew how aggravating someone could get after years of living next to Spongebob and Patrick. However, he'd end up meeting Excalibur, who was so annoying he begged to go back to his neighbors again.
- Sometimes visits the House of Costumes whenever a more serious threat comes up; his two superhero costumes are there. The first is Captain Magma, who thanks to some training can properly aim lava at villains. His other, original alter-ego is Sour Note; in that form he's capable of playing powerfully loud music to fight evil. He's unable to hold onto either, which frustrates him quite a bit. Once had a change of heart and decided to try and save Christmas in Bikini Bottom, feeling bad for Spongebob. Since then, he's earned Santa's respect.
- Not sure what to think about his dabbing getting really popular. He also would like to point out that no, there's no lost episode where he committed suicide.
- Spongebob and Patrick aren't the only people to barge into Squidward's house; a lot of gods do it too. He's sick of this, along with people pretending to him. Was once locked in a freezer and got frozen for 2000 years, awakening in a chrome future. He sometimes has a drink about it with Philip J Fry.
- Squidward is seen visiting the House of Life and Death with flowers, to mourn "my hopes and dreams."
Uncle Ruckus, God of Self-Hate
- Symbol: Anything with Ronald Reagan's face on it
- Alignment: Lawful Neutral or Lawful Evil depending on episode
- Portfolio: Black People Who Hate Other Black People, Mighty Whitey Worshippers, Uncomfortable Racial Humor, Category Traitors
- Domains: Anger, Hypocrisy
- Opposed by: Samuel L. Jackson
- Opposes: Sam Jackson and all other non-Caucasian deities
- Is grateful to have been cast out of his mortal shell to appear as he always wanted... as a handsome Caucasian dude. Only it to be revealed that he was trolled by the LOL Rangers.
- Does not recognize Samuel L. Jackson as a True God. Or any non-white god for that matter.
- Even as a White God, Uncle Ruckus has maintained his N-Word Privileges, which has made several other gods rather uncomfortable. Of course that was for a week after the LOL Rangers turned him back to normal
- One of the few gods he will do everything in his power to avoid is Vulkan. Though the Primarch doesn't care the slightest about millenia-old insults based on skin-color, he does take offence to his scathing comments about the God Emperor. Thankfully for Ruckus, Vulkan is busy aiding civilians or kicking the crap out of Dark Eldar in order to waste time hunting him.