“While you are imitating Al Capone, I'll be Nina Simone and defecating on your microphone.”
The acts of urinating or defecating on something (or more likely, someone) to make a point or show disrespect. To some individuals, and possibly some cultures, it is not a big deal but to most, these are considered the greatest of insults. With animals, it may in fact be a way of marking property.
Compare: Spiteful Spit
and Dung Fu
, as well as Urine Trouble
, in which an animal excretes on something but usually isn't intentionally disrespecting it. Contrast: Bring My Brown Pants
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- There is a Red Bull commercial where a guy is pooped on by a bird. So he drinks a Red Bull, flies above it and takes off his pants...
Anime and Manga
- In the 1980s series of GeGeGe no Kitaro, there is an episode in which an arrogant man urinates on a rock sacred to a local nature spirit. Yes, it was marked. He refuses to apologize or make restitution, and as a result is one of the very few people who actually dies in that version.
- Fist of the North Star uses this as Juza's very first action to a warlord who thought he was drinking normal water. It pretty much serves to state how cocky he really is, especially when he beats the snot out of said warlord afterwards.
- An apparently suicidal criminal decides it would be a hilarious joke to dig up the bodies of Frank Castle's family and urinate on them.
- In "The Slavers" arc, a female cop humiliates another homophobic officer by telling the whole squad about the time a criminal managed to trap him in his own handcuffs, before taking a crap on his badge.
- To show just how far out of touch Huey and Riley's Granddad is in The Boondocks, he does not understand why anyone would not want a golden shower. Not actually knowing what it means.
- In The Pro, the title character is nearly kicked off her superhero team for retaliating against a villainess who hand blasted her by beating the villainess to a bloody pulp and urinating on her. This just happen to take place in the UN headquarters during a meeting of ambassadors who happen to have brought their children for "bring your child to work day".
- Preacher: The KKK set up a burning cross on Jesse's lawn. He goes outside, unzips, and pisses the fire out.
- In Hellblazer, John Constantine drags the King of the Vampires, who's just inadvertently poisoned himself with the demon blood in John's veins, into the sunlight. As the King burns to death, John (who's on a serious bender) urinates on him as a final insult.
- In one issue of The Authority, Midnighter pisses on a villain's head. Also, during the opening of the "Transfer of Power" arc, Three-Willy Seth unleashes a torrent of radioactive shit at Swift.
- A group of bullies doing this to the protagonist of Kung Fu Hustle is what drives him to a life of crime.
- The Good Shepherd showed a Skull and Bones initiation that involved members urinating and defecating on the initiates from an indoor balcony.
- Ridicule starts off with Milletail urinating on an old and immobile man in retaliation for insult that had been uttered many years before.
- Done at the very end of So Bad, It's Good Mockbuster The Amazing Bulk. The title monster/hero inadvertently kills one of a pair of two police officers midway through the movie. After the climax of the film, wherein the Bulk sacrifices himself to stop the Big Bad, the surviving member decides to urinate on the man's grave in spite. Unfortunately for him, the Bulk was Not Quite Dead, and punches him in the face while he's relieving himself.
- The 1984 live-action Tarzan film has Tarzan urinating on one of the gorillas spitefully.
- In Pink Flamingos, Devine ate dog excrement in the final scene as a statement that she was the most disgusting person in the world.
- In Orgazmo, a Jerkass porn actor insults people by farting into his hand and then throwing the molecules at them.
- In Tales from the Hood, the first story involves a group of racist cops murdering a black activist, while another black cop did nothing to stop it. Much later on they drag him to the guy's grave, and one decides to piss on it. Since this is a horror movie, you can probably guess what happens next.
- Early in Me, Myself & Irene, we see nice-guy doormat Jim Carrey's neighbors taking his newspaper and taking their big dog to defecate on his lawn (probably a daily routine)...when a psychological disorder turns him psychotically assertive, he walks into their home, takes his paper back, presumably in the bathroom as we her her scream, then drops his pants and takes a dump in their yard.
- In History of the World Part I we see a caveman painting on a cave wall. He is labelled as the first artist. Another caveman climbs atop a rock and urinates on the painting. He is labelled the first critic.
- Done by Joan Jett in The Runaways. After a veteran rocker acts rudely towards Joan, she urinates on his guitars.
- The hero of The Power of One is constantly bullied by the Judge and his bullies this way during his stay at boarding school. His pet chicken, Grandpa Chook, eventually gets revenge for him by laying a chicken patty right in the Judge's open mouth.
- James Clavell's novel Shogun had one of the samurai forcing Blackthorne to lay on the ground, and subsequently urinating on him, as a punishment for disrespect.
- Specifically for saying the words: "I piss on you and your stupid country."
- In the Wing Commander novel End Run the Terran Confederation launches a daring assault on an out of the way Kilrathi planet, capturing an old Kilrathi castle, which the Marines proceeded to urinate on. It is later revealed that the castle belonged to the Emperor's mother, and the entire operation was meant as a very calculated insult. The Kilrathi mobilized most of their home fleet to retake the planet and punish the Terrans, and a small Terran strike force was sent to attack the now lightly-defended Kilrathi home system.
- Resident Badass Bookworm Morrolan e'Drien of the Dragaera books goaded a troublesome god into a fight by relieving himself on one of the god's altars after singlehandedly butchering three villages worth of his worshipers with a Morganti Great Weapon.
- John Taylor of the Nightside series once intimidated a magical door into opening by threatening to piss through its letterbox.
- Stephanie Plum thinks an ideal place to let Bob unload the results of his rampant appetite is arch-rival Joyce's lawn.
- In Animal Farm, Napoleon urinates on Snowball's windmill plans. Later, after Snowball has been driven out and turned into the scapegoat for all the farm's troubles, Napoleon takes credit for the windmill idea.
- In A Song of Ice and Fire, the eunuch pit fighter Strong Belwas wins a Combat by Champion for his queen, beheading the boastful and arrogant champion of the city she's besieging (who incidentally had earlier pissed in the direction of Danaery's tent in an attempt to provoke someone into accepting his challenge). To repay the city for the insult, Belwas drops his trousers and shits in the direction of the city, then wipes his ass with the dead champion's cloak.
- A meta version occurs when Lord Tywin rides his horse into the throne room for a ceremony. The horse dumps a load of manure which the king has to step around to greet him. All the proceedings after that are a charade of power propaganda.
- In Like a Boss by The Lonely Island the aforementioned boss does this on Debra's desk after getting rejected.
- REM's song Circus Envy contains the line "when I get loose I'll climb a tree / and drop a load on your head"
- "Go on, Judge! Shit on 'im!"
Mythology, Religion and Folklore
- Njord of the Vanir was once captured by a Jotun whose daughters used his mouth for a piss pot. Being ransomed by the Aesir was seen as a gift to him in comparison to that kind of treatment.
- Ignirtoq of Inuit folklore thinks urinating all over everything is funny. For this reason her parents make her and her two equally troublesome sisters play outside, which happen to be on Earth. Together they represent unpleasant storms in contrast to Asiaq, who brings desirable weather.
- Tobit was blinded by bird shit in a deuterocanonical book of The Bible.
- Juventude Guerrera was fired from AAA for starting a fight. Why did he start a fight? Because he found someone had defecated in his bag and did not take it well.
- A common Halloween prank, often referenced in media, is burning a sack of dog feces on a neighbor's porch (prompting him to stomp on it without taking time to examine it closely).
- Some guy defecated on a NYPD police cruiser during Occupy Wall Street, I guess it would be considered a statement. Piccy (NSFW)◊
- Mario Mielie was an outspoken gay activist in Italy during the 1970s. During a performance in Rome, he ate his own excrement and that of a dog as an act of defiance.
- GG Allin would often throw his own waste at his audience during his concerts. This was one of many acts he would perform for shock value.
- An infamous story out of India involved five widowed women forced to eat excrement for being witches by their fellow Muslims.
- Tensions between Rome and the Greek city-state of Tarentum came to a head in 282 BC, when the Tarentines mocked the Roman ambassador for his (in their opinion) uncouth dress and accent, finally escalating the insults to the point where someone urinated on his toga. The ambassador reportedly responded that the stain would be washed out with blood — and, sure enough, the tensions exploded into warfare.
- Though it rarely gets mentioned in text books outside of Horrible Histories, for obvious reasons, the famous Grecian Philosopher Diogenes made a habit of doing this as part of his more famous "started living totally naked in a barrel in the marketplace" phase. He would urinate on anyone he didn't like, and if he got really angry he would defecate out through a hole in the barrel as a sign of his contempt.
- In 570 AD, Abraha, the ruler of Yemen, built a magnificent shrine at Sana'a in the hopes of diverting some of the lucrative pilgrimage business from Mecca. The Meccans were not pleased, and sent a group of men to inspect the newly built shrine and "defile" (as the historians politely put it) it. This led to a massive war and the survival of Mecca was considered a miracle from Allah.
- Wolverines are notorious for defecating on animal carcasses to ensure no rival scavenger will try to feed on their prize.
- In the first edition of the AD&D Dungeon Master's Guide, the section on holy water fonts notes that a font may be defiled by an unbeliever who blesses/curses it "or uses some less refined method such as excreting waste into the font".
- This is one of the finishing moves in Primal Rage, which naturally was censored in the console editions.
- In Duke Nukem 3D, Duke threatens to "rip [the second boss's] head off and shit down [its] neck". In Duke Nukem Forever, Duke threatens to rip out a boss's eye and piss on its brain. After both fights, he actually goes through with both threats.
- In Ōkami you play a wolf. Two of the moves you can learn at the dojo are Golden Fury, which lets you insult enemies by lifting your leg and letting loose, and Brown Rage, which adds insult to injury. These are a decent source of demon fangs.
- One minigame in Saints Row 2 involves manning a septic truck and spraying sewage to damage high-value property.
- In The Order of the Stick, strip #685, Belkar pisses on the dying body of a slave trader, who made the mistake of pushing Belkar's Berserk Button by threatening to eat Belkar's pet cat. He also turned the severed head of the Linear Guild's (third?) kobold into a litter box for said cat.
- To say nothing of what he does to the Linear Guild kobold who actually hurt the cat.
Durkon: Aren't ye gonna, y'know, kill the kobold first?
Belkar: and Vaarsuvius, who has instead cast a mind control spell on the offending kobold to force it to actively take part in its own punishment: NO.
- One skit in Robot Chicken has a man urinating back and forth all over his boss' desk, with his boss sitting behind it. The boss casually asks "So, I take it this is your two weeks notice?" The man directs his stream right at the boss' face, and the boss gives a reassured "Yep" in answer to his own question.
- American Dad! has several examples:
- In the first Christmas episode, Stan is visited by the Ghost of Christmas Past, who takes him back in time to show him what Christmas was like. Stan runs away while in the 1970s, and she begins to freak out. She returns to the present to get Francine so she can help, but also starts freaking out about how she can't be allowed to screw up on her first job. She can't go back to working as a Tooth Fairy, because she took a dump on her boss' desk when she quit. That bridge has been burned. Her panicked ramblings also mention that apparently they can trace DNA in poo.
- The second time this happens was when Hayley ran off with Jeff to get eloped. Stan was so against the idea that he set up a $500,000 bounty for anyone who can bring Hayley back to him. EVERYONE in Langley Falls goes chasing after her, including Principal Lewis. When the whole conflict is resolved, Stan announces that Jeff (her husband) got the money for turning her in. Principal Lewis freaks out before flipping everyone off and storming off, saying that he was depending on that money. He left a deuce on his own desk as message to the whole school system and whoever was to become the next principal.
- Another is when Roger rediscovers an old persona, Ricky Spanish. Ricky is the most depraved of all of his personas, and every mention of his name triggers a still image of him doing something horrible. One of these is squatting over the patient in an open heart surgery.
- On Family Guy, Peter Griffin won the lottery and promptly announced he was quitting his job at the brewery. He casually mentions to Angela that he defecated on her desk.
Brian: You wanna get ice cream? That'll help you feel better.
Stewie: [shakes head sadly]
Brian: You wanna get some McDonalds?
Stewie: [shakes head again]
Brian: You wanna go take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes?
Stewie: [nods, also sadly]
Brian: Okay, let's go take a dump in Mother Maggie's shoes.
- Ren Hoek showed his anger with Stimpy and Cousin Sven by emphatically urinating on their board game...a prominent feature of which is a miniature electrified fence. They all are electrocuted, die and go to hell.
- Even better, the board game itself is called ''Don't Whiz On The Electric Fence". Ren did just that. When they arrive at hell, Satan says to Ren "So, you whizzed on the electric fence, didn't ya?"
- In The Venture Bros. pilot, Brock beats a mummy to death, then urinates on it.
Hank: That's showing him who's boss, Brock-o!
Dr. Venture: Was that really necessary?
Brock: You have to defile a mummy completely or they come back to life, you know that.
- On The Boondocks this happens in a story Thugnificient tells about his childhood, with the show's usual style.
Thugnificient: I seen a nigga get killed right over there, you know? They beat him up, stomped him, shot the dude, stomped the nigga again, and then I seen them take a dump on the dude! I swear to god, man, they actually shot a deuce on this nigga man, you know what I'm saying? They shat on a nigga, man! Then I started thinking to myself: Man...what did he do to make them niggas that mad?
- The flaming bag of dog-droppings mentioned above appears a few times on The Simpsons.
- Subverted in "Loan Again, Naturally", when the Simpsons have their home saved by Ned Flanders before being kicked out, Homer mentions he left a "surprise" for the new owners he has to dispose of. He runs into one of the bedrooms, where we find...a pot of flowers and a sweet note.
- In the South Park episode "Breast Cancer Show Ever", Cartman craps on Mr. Garrison's desk so he can get detention and won't have to get beaten up by Wendy.
- In "My Future Self and Me", Cartman gets revenge on MotivationCorp by smearing their walls with feces.