Parking Payback

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Evelyn: [to girls who stole her parking space] Excuse me, I was waiting for that space.
Girl 1: Yeah? Tough!
Girl 2: Face it lady, we're younger and faster.
Evelyn: [does slow burn, puts car in gear] Towanda! [slams car into back of the girls' Volkswagen three times, laughing]
Girl 1: [comes back] Help, someone! What are you doing?
Girl 2: Are you crazy?
Evelyn: Face it girls, I'm older and have more insurance.

In Real Life, seeing someone park where they shouldn't (like a disabled parking spot) or stealing the parking spot you've been patiently waiting for is incredibly frustrating. In fiction, a character might choose to take immediate revenge on the parking infringer, often in a humorous fashion (giving the audience vicarious satisfaction).

Note that these actions are often things that could get you arrested in Real Life.

Examples:

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    Comic Books 
  • According to Dave in Knights of the Dinner Table, Shiela once kidney punched him for parking in the disabled spot next to the Games Pit.
  • In Harley Quinn Holiday Special #1, Harley is looking for a car to steal and decides to steal the one that is taking up two parking spaces.

    Film 
  • At the end of Kenny, Kenny gets parked in by a yuppie who double parks his convertible next to Kenny's truck. Kenny fills the car with raw sewage from the truck's tank.
  • In Fried Green Tomatoes, Evelyn rear-ends six times a car that stole her parking spot. She uses the "older and more insurance" line from the Urban Legend.
  • In Backdraft, a BMW is parked in front of a fire hydrant. The firefighters take a certain glee in smashing the car's windows so they can thread the hose through to the hydrant.
  • In 10 Things I Hate About You, protagonist Kat's least favourite person parks his shiny new sports car behind her, in the middle of the road. This is, itself, illegal and done specifically to annoy her, but Kat takes it a bit too far when she backs right into him, destroying the side.
    Mr. Stratford (Kat's dad): My insurance does not cover PMS!
  • The "Interfilm" Mr. Payback included a jerk who parked in a handicap zone and offered the viewer several options as to how to punish him, including destroying the car, deflating his tires, and paralyzing him with a dart in order to "make it legal".
  • Casino Royale (2006) sees Bond being mistaken for a member of the resort staff and ordered by a guest (with extreme condescension) to park his car. He does so - first flawlessly, and then, after a pause, accelerating out and reversing back in again hard enough to smash the front of the car behind him, divest the dickish guest's car of its rear bumper, knock over the parking barrier, and set off half a dozen car alarms. Then he tosses the keys somewhere into the chaos without looking and strides off. Nobody revenge-parks like James Bond. Helpfully, this also provided a diversion that allowed Bond to sneak into the security office.
  • Xander Cage in xXx did the same thing, except 1) The victim in this case was a U.S. congressman who advocated some policies Xander disagreed with, 2) he was trying to be mistaken for an employee of the country club from which he stole it, and 3) he parked it in a canyon a few miles away from the country club. By jumping it off a bridge over said canyon.
  • In Me, Myself, and Irene, when Charlie sees a young football player drive a convertible up and park in the handicapped space (flaunting his unhandicapped status by leaping out over the door) it triggers Charlie's rage-fueled alter-ego Hank, who goes to town on the car with a trash bin. The football player then emerges from the store, helping the owner of the car who is a man in a neck brace. The owner is none to happy to see what Hank did to his car.
  • Office Space: When Lumbergh parks in the disabled parking space, the tow truck that tows his car away rips the rear bumper off.
  • In Madea Goes To Jail, Madea's parking space is stolen by a snotty female driver. What does Madea do? She gets hold of a lifting crane, lifts the offending car into the air and out of the parking space, then unceremoniously drops the car onto the street for massive damage.
  • When Smith and DQ need a car in Shoot 'em Up, Smith isn't particularly concerned that he has to steal a car, nor which car he picks. Then he sees an expensive one illegally parked in a handicap zone and immediately picks that one.

    Folklore 
  • There is an urban legend about an older woman who takes revenge on the sassy young thing who brazenly zips into the parking space she'd been waiting for. When she protests, the parking spot thief says "That's how it is when you're young and quick." The woman puts her car into gear, floors the accelerator and rams the offending vehicle. When the sassy young thing screams in protest, the woman replies "That's how it is when you're old and rich" (or "and have more insurance"). You can check out the legend and its variations at Snopes here.

    Literature 

    Live Action TV 
  • Third Watch had an episode where the fire crew had to break through a car's windows to get to the hydrant. The car owner was none too pleased and came to the firehouse wielding a gun.
  • In the first episode of Crownies, Ben's grandfather parks in an able bodied surfer who parked in a disabled spot. This one does not end well, as Ben's grandfather ultimately recieves a beating that results in his death.
  • Seinfeld:
    • In an episode, George parks in front of the hospital and ends up having his car flattened by a suicidal "jumper."
    • In another episode, Kramer covinces George to park in a handicapped space when they're in a hurry ("They don't want to be treated special!"). When they come back, it turns out that a wheelchair bound woman had injured herself as a result of not being able to park in the space, and an angry mob is waiting for the owners of the car - and eventually demolish it.
  • On Desperate Housewives, Susan trips the guy who takes her spot, grabs his keys to move his car, then closes the window on his neck when he attempts to stop her. However, it wasn't really just about the parking space; she was pissed off that her fiance and ex-boyfriend made her the prize in a poker game, and thus was not feeling kindly to any men at the time.
  • We occasionally see the firefighters of House 51 smashing car windows to get to hydrants in Chicago Fire.
  • Hustle: In "Price of Fame", Benny Frazier parking in the ambulance zone at a hospital (and being rude to the staff member who asks him to move) is what first identifies him to Albert as a potential mark. This is a variation on the standard trope as the payback is not immediate and does not directly involve the car.
  • Kenny Everett's 1980s sketch show on The BBC had a sketch where he crushed an illegally parked car under a tank.
  • In Kingdom Hospital, the neurosurgeon Dr. Stegman loves parking where he shouldn't. Handicapped parking spot? No problem: he just covers the sign with a paper bag. There is some delight to be had in seeing his beloved Jaguar take ever more damage as the series progresses. He's such an asshole that he parks on the helipad, right when a helicopter needs to land!
  • Jake and the Fatman: In "You Turned the Tables on Me", a pretty young prosecutor steals the parking space Jake has been waiting for. Jake takes revenge by stealing the distributor cap from her car, forcing her to get a ride home with him.
  • Elementary: At the start of "Up to Heaven and Down to Hell", a driver steals a parking spot from a limo driver who has been waiting for it. Ignoring the honking traffic building up behind him, the limo driver opens his trunk to extract something, obviously planning to inflict some vengeance on the offending car and/or driver. However, whatever payback he had planned in preempted when the other driver is killed by an elderly woman plunging off the balcony of an apartment building.

    Music 
  • Upon seeing a person parked in a handicapped spot, the title character of "Super Cop" by Ray Stevens shoots the owner of the car in the foot and says "You're handicapped now!"

    New Media 
  • Website That Will Buff Out has the heading "Douchebag Parkers" which delights in suggesting this sort of revenge and taking pictures of it. (Please do not try any of these at home, it is one of the quickest ways to get either a criminal record, or a punch in the face.)

    Newspaper Comics 
  • Steve Dallas illegally parks his corvette in a handicapped spot in Bloom County. Milo wasn't able to move it, but he tried.
    • In Opus (in the same continuity), Pickles was once interrupted while attempting to trim down a Hummer with a chainsaw to make it fit in the compact space it had been parked in.

    Stand Up Comedy 
  • Jeff Dunham's Walter puppet talks about running down a man who parks in handicap spots to "make an honest man out of him." When his actually handicapped mother gets out of the car to scream at him, Walter takes her out with the door.

    Video Games 

    Webcomics 

    Web Original 
  • In this Not Always Friendly story a young woman steals the submitter's assigned parking space at the apartment complex where the submitter lives. After reasoning with the woman just gets the submitter insulted, the submitter simply informs the manager who has the offending woman's car towed.

    Western Animation 
  • In an episode of Yoohoo and Friends, Santa Claus parks his sleigh in front of Father Time's house. Father Time uses his magical powers to move the sleigh so it is front of a fire hydrant, causing Santa Claus to get a ticket.
  • In the first Family Guy Christmas episode, Peter gets fed up with searching for a parking space at the mall and just drives onto another car, crushing it like a monster truck.
  • COPS: When Ms. Demeanour is made to wear a mind-altering tiara that forces her to abide to the law, she finds a car parked three inches out of a space into a red zone and lifts it out by hand, destroying its tires (and presumably its suspension) when she drops it back down.
  • In the Batman: The Animated Series episode "Fear of Victory", Batman lies in wait inside the Gotham Knight's locker room, believing that Scarecrow would be coming to sabotage the game by delivering a fear drug-tainted telegram to a key player. A perfectly ordinary telegram delivery man shows up and is intercepted by Batman, who utterly freaks, thinking that Batman was waiting to ambush him because he had double-parked.
  • Parodied in The Amazing World of Gumball episode "The Parking": an old man takes a parking spot the Watterson family were going for, so Nicole starts scribbling on his car in lipstick. One of her kids points out why this isn't a good idea.
    Darwin: Mrs. Mom?
    Nicole: Yes, sweetheart?
    (Darwin points offscreen, Nicole notices the car she vandalized is in a handicapped spot)
    Darwin: That's really bad.
    Nicole: Oh, I—what? You thought I was defacing this poor person's car? What kind of a mother would do that? I was... uh... I was making a decorative piece of art showing my love for diversity, because everyone is different, uh—look, see?
    (Nicole redraws her scribbles into a friendly mural of people holding hands)
    Darwin: (whispers) No, I meant, look.
    (the camera pulls back to show the driver is still in the car, staring at her)
    Nicole: I see. Well, in that case... run.

    Real Life 
  • In Real Life in 2011 the mayor of a town in Lithuania posed for photographers after crushing what he claimed was an illegally parked car with an armored car.
  • Casey Neistat filmed himself crashing his bike into everything parked in a bike lane to point out how often they're blocked off. See here.
  • In Poland, an offender might often find a sticker with an image of a penis and a message that roughly translates to "You get a penalty dick for parking like a dickhead". And it's usually really hard to peel off.
    • This actually started in France with the "Garé comme une merde" (parked like shit) stickers. There are endless variations, like "Garé du Coté Obscur de la Force" (parked on the Dark Side of the Force).
  • There is one sure-fire way to find yourself on the receiving end of this: Park in front of a Fire Hydrant. Fire Fighters have no time to politely ask you to move your car, so, they'll just smash the window and thread the hose through. Or, they'll force your car out of the way with one of their trucksnote . And for bonus points, if you think you can get away with suing the department for the damages... good luck. Not only will you lose the case horribly, you'll also have to pay a hefty fine for your poor parking decision, on top of the repair cost. Oh, and did I forget to mention that your insurance rates may even go up as a result?
  • Part of the "Stop a Douchebag" movement involves this. If you park illegally and refuse to move, they'll put a sticker on your windshield that reads(translated from Russian) "I don't care about other people, I park where I please."

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