If you were looking for the Video Game genre, go here.
A.K.A Guns: The Movie
I'm a British nanny, and I'm dangerous.
Eighty-six minutes of Clive Owen
and Paul Giamatti
shooting at each other over a baby.
Oh, you want a bit more than that? All right, we'll give it a shot...
Mr. Smith (Owen) is waiting for a bus, when he decides to follow a gunman, who is following a pregnant woman with murderous intent. He kills the gunman and his fellow Mooks
, saving the newborn, but not the mother. The Mooks' boss, Mr. Hertz (Giamatti) continues the attempted infanticide at every stop. Smith enlists a lactating hooker (Monica Bellucci
) to take care of the baby, who Mr. Smith names Oliver, while Smith fights Hertz and tries to find out who wants the baby dead and why.
The film exists to show gunfights in every conceivable situation, from high-speed chases to mid-sex
. Heck, it might as well be called Guns: The Movie
because that's really the main focus of the film. The plot is secondary to meta-humor
over-the-top action sequences. No, we mean really
over-the-top. Roger Ebert
commented: "I may disapprove of a movie for going too far, and yet have a sneaky regard for a movie that goes much, much farther than merely too far.
" By one count, Smith kills over one hundred and twenty people over the course of the film.
Not to be confused with Shoot Em Ups
, the video game genre. Although they do have a lot in common.
The film provides examples of:
- Action Hero: Mr. Smith, who can not only kill a man with just a carrot but also shoot someone with a literal handful of bullets with no gun via fireplace. With his hand broken.
- A Date with Rosie Palms: "What were you doing in there?" "Cleaning my gun." "...Oh, really?" The man in question is polishing his gun for most of the film. Literally, though.
- Affably Evil: Hertz. He honestly seems more amused by Smith than anything else at first, although that changes as the film progresses.
- A.K.A.-47: Para-Ordinance pistols have been relabeled Hammerson products with the plot rather than copyright as the reason.
- Artistic License – Physics: As the MythBusters proved, shooting the merry-go-round like that would not get it to move as depicted in the film. Additionally, bullets fired without the aid of a gun barrel would only be mildly annoying to the target, not lethal. Of course, given that this movie runs on Rule of Cool, these can be forgiven.
- Asshole Victim: Of a sort. When Smith and DQ need a car, Smith isn't particularly concerned that he has to steal a car, nor which car he picks. Then he sees an expensive one illegally parked in a handicap zone and immediately picks that one.
- Awesomeness by Analysis: Hertz is a former FBI profiler. According to his minions: "He doesn't guess — he sees things we don't."
- Forensic behavior consultant. My god, how many times do I have to tell you guys? Details make all the difference in this business.
- Bad Ass: If we have to tell you, we're going to slap you.
- Badass Bystander: What kicks off the entire plot.
- Badass Driver: Smith. His stolen 3-series BMW gets T-boned by a heavy SUV and rolls over several times. In other movies, without the hero inside, the car would burst into flames immediately or at least be compressed to half its width. Smith continues to drive it.
- Badass Longcoat: Smith's. Despite being hobo-ish, he manages to pull it off.
- Bad Boss: Hertz is probably one of the worst ever as he maims and kills his own men just for the hell of it.
- Badass and Child Duo: Which leads to a whole lot of Badass and Baby carrying while in fights.
- Berserk Button: A number of things can trigger this response in Mr. Smith. For example, when he steals a car for parking in the handicapped zone, or runs another car off the road for repeatedly changing lanes without a signal, as well as littering. Basically everyday annoyances that usually only merit a gripe or two from normal people trigger sociopathic rage in Mr. Smith. And we love him for it.
- Bizarre and Improbable Ballistics: The ending takes this to a new level — a robber hides behind cover, so Smith shoots the robber's partner several times — first in the leg (causing him to fall down), then in the arm (causing his gun to point at the hiding robber), then in the wrist (causing him to fire). Keep in mind that Smith's fingers are broken at the time, so he pulls the trigger by putting a carrot in the trigger guard and slapping the back of the gun with his other hand.
- Actually, Truth in Television, there is a nerve in the arm and wrist makes it twitch in the general direction done in the movie. But hitting it on purpose is next to nil Unless you're Smith.
- Bloodless Carnage: Averted, and HOW!
- Bond One-Liner: Makes up a good 60-70% of Smith's lines.
- Booby Trap: Smith rigs up automatic weapons in Hammerson's gun warehouse to fire when he pulls cords attached to the triggers, aiming them via Ominous Multiple Screens. Camera Abuse occurs with the last mook to get shot.
- Bottomless Magazines: Frequently hilariously averted. Well, okay, Hertz' gun has six shots when the clip of a real Desert Eagle .50 AE can only hold five.
- Played straight by the first fully-automatic firearm in Smith's hand, a belt-fed, water-cooled Vickers .308 machine gun disguised as a MP5K.
- Smith's broken hand borders on a bottomless magazine. He holds four cartridges between his fingers and shoots eight times.
- Broken Aesop: A movie that celebrates gun violence has a pro-gun control message. According to the DVD commentary, this was not an attempt at a Spoof Aesop, but was simply in keeping with the overall gun theme. All the problems and solutions of the film directly relate to guns. Recite the mantra.
Hertz: Guns don't kill people. But they sure help!
- Bullet Proof Vest: If Smith bothered throwing in a headshot or two for good measure, it would have been Bye Bye Hertz at the whorehouse (although Hertz was still knocked out cold and did not recover until the heroes got some head start out of there). Also DQ believes a bullet proof vest to be a better investment than a crib for the baby in light of their recent predicament.
- And if Hertz had kept his vest on, he would have won his final shootout with Smith.
- Cacophony Cover Up: Presumably why the Baby Factory was established on top of a heavy metal rock club.
- Canine Companion: Duchess becomes one to Smith at the end of the movie.
- Car Fu: Smith's temporary road rampage, and feinting throwing Oliver to bait Hertz. And the vault into the van to kill a van full of mooks.
- Catch Phrase: Parodied. Smith steals Bugs Bunny's, and Hertz promptly steals Elmer Fudd's.
- Character Filibuster: Smith often goes off on a rant about minor things he hates. DQ makes fun of him for it.
- Chekhov's Gag: "Your trigger finger is all the safety you really need." In that case, poor Smith will have to improvise by the time the movie's over.
- Chekhov's Gunman: Senator Rutledge appears on TV while Smith is checking channels in his slum.
- Children Raise You
- Cluster F-Bomb
Smith: Fuck you, you fucking fuckers.
- Coitus Uninterruptus: Smith guns down a few mooks in the process of having sex with Donna. "Talk about shooting your load."
- Counting Bullets: When Hertz is torturing Donna, he shoots to heat up the barrel of his gun. When Smith comes in to save her Hertz points his gun at him, and Smith notes that he's hasn't got anything left. Hertz however has been counting the rounds Smith has fired up to now, so he knows Smith is out too.
- Compensating for Something: Hammerson's lecture on America being a place where "a poor man can become rich, and a pussy can become a tough guy — if he's got a gun in his hand." It's notable that Hertz has the biggest pistol in the movie.
- Shown with Phallic Weapon symbolism when Hertz tortures Doona with the hot barrel of his Desert Eagle.
- Cool Guns: A LOT. In fact we can even say it's The Movie.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Hammerson.
- Corrupt Politician: Senator Rutledge sells out to the gun lobby. Though he makes up for it in Redemption Equals Death.
- Crippling the Competition: Hertz tortures Smith by breaking his trigger fingers and then threatens to cut his eyes out. This ends very badly for Hertz.
- Cynicism Catalyst: According to Hertz, Smith's wife and child were killed in a restaurant by a rampaging gunman, using weapons he bought in Smith's gunshop.
- Dark and Troubled Past:
- Dark Is Not Evil: Smith is totally dressed in gloomy black, but he's the hero. However that doesn't mean he's noble and gentle.
- Determinator: Most obviously shown when Smith takes down the Big Bad and The Dragon, after they break all his fingers, with nothing more than five bullets set off by fire.
- Deadpan Snarker: Smith and Hertz. Smith is more deadpan and Hertz is more snarky.
- Disposable Woman: Oliver's mother starts out as a Damsel in Distress and is killed off minutes later so that the importance of her baby can remain a mystery.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Smith rams a guy off the road for driving aggressively without signaling. What really tips him off is the driver littering soon after. But keeping with the tone of the movie, Donna lampshades it: "You are the angriest man in the world!"
- Double Entendre: "That's a six-shooter. I just counted six shots. You've blown your load." In a whorehouse, no less.
- Dragon-in-Chief: Although Hammerson is the mastermind, his enforcer Hertz gets the most screentime.
- Dramatic Drop: DQ's serving trays when Smith reunites with her, though it's implied she does this deliberately.
- Dying Truce: At the very end, when Smith and Hertz are both nearly dead, Smith lets Hertz answer his cellphone as he walks away. The truce breaks, though, and both of them attempt one final shot to really kill each other off.
- Establishing Character Moment: Hertz braces his gun on a wounded mook's chest, then shoots the man when his breathing disturbs his aim. When Smith takes the gun off him a moment later, he exchanges calm Gunpoint Banter, then reveals his Desert Eagle will only fire with his thumbprint.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Played for Laughs. Hertz has a wife and an eight-year-old son.
- Before he dies, his wife calls him and tells him she's leaving him.
- Exactly What It Says on the Tin: Is it ever.
- Excuse Me While I Multitask: Mr. Smith enters a gunfight while continuing to have sex with DQ.
- Eye Scream: Mr. Smith's carrots are good for his eyesight, but not for one Secret Service mook.
- Hertz's driver also gets a scalpel in the eye from Smith.
- Failsafe Failure: Thumbprint scanners on all of Hertz's guns. Smith simply hacks off a mook's hand and points the gun with it.
- Famous Last Words: Subverted. Smith tells the Strawman liberal politician how his (the politician's) death will create the sympathy needed for his gun control legislation to pass. When the politician starts to speak in resigned, but dignified agreement, he is Killed Mid-Sentence.
- Faux Affably Evil: Hertz is a husband and father, and has a remarkably unexceptional home life that bleeds into his ruthless thuggery.
- Fingerless Gloves: Smith wears a pair of these.
- Four Eyes, Zero Soul: Hertz.
- Fingore: Hertz' torture, followed by attempted Eye Scream.
- Flipping the Bird: Not a good idea in this movie.
- Frontline General
Mook: Don't you think you should hang back, sir?
Hertz: The leader who stays in the rear, takes it in the rear. Besides...violence is one of the most fun things to watch.
- Gangsta Style: Smith can't really hold a gun any other way than sideways after his fingers were broken. He eventually finds out that the best way to still be able to fire a gun is by holding it sideways and pushing the trigger (and the whole gun) against a carrot.
- Genre Savvy: Mr. Smith seems to know about typical action movie tropes, and actively takes steps to avoid them (see Have You Told Anyone Else?). Hertz is also quite savvy:
Minion: We got fifty guys.
Hertz: Well, that'll have to be enough.
- Gun Fu: The entire movie is made of this.
- Gun Porn: This is the type of movie where the protagonist shows off his good parenting skills by teaching gun safety to a baby. Bizarrely subverted by the anti-gun message later on in the film, though.
- Gun Safety: Smith knows you can never learn 'em too young.
- Guns Akimbo: The first use of a fully-automatic gun in the film is when one of Hertz' Mooks shoots two Mini Uzis John Woo-style (aim both into the same direction, squeeze the triggers and hold 'em down until the magazines are empty). The usual.
- Guns and Gunplay Tropes: Pick one; it's probably in here. Not that that should surprise anyone.
- Guns Do Not Work That Way: Apart from the obvious Rule of Cool examples, the Counting Bullets scene doesn't match the actual guns being used by either Hertz or Smith.
- Even the bullet count of Smith's broken hand is missed by 100%. He shoots eight times with four cartridges.
- Groin Attack:
- Played for laughs with the male version (the Marilyn Manson wannabe with the cock ring.) Played for drama and squick with the female version (when Hertz is about to burn DQ's vulva with his hot gun barrel).
- Smith at one point shoots a Mook in the crotch, causing a rather fantastic spray of blood.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Smith and we love him for it.
- Hand Cannon: The Lone Man wields a Smith & Wesson 629 cal. .44 Magnum, and Hertz has a Desert Eagle .50 AE which Smith tries to shoot one-handed (just to discover the fingerprint scanner) — and Hertz himself does shoot one-handed.
- Played literally by Smith when he uses his hand as a gun by holding cartridges between his fingers and firing them by heating them up against a fireplace.
- Have You Told Anyone Else?: Discussed and subverted. Smith calls NBC, ABC, CBS, The Post, The Times, and the FBI to come check out an illicit baby bone marrow harvesting laboratory, because he hates it when a hero calls only one person and ends up betrayed by that one person. Unfortunately, the Lone Man uses his connections to make sure it stays out of the press.
- Helicopter Blender: the fate of the Lone Man.
- Heroes Love Dogs: One of the few things Smith does like.
- The Big Bad has a dog he's openly fond of too. This turns out to be a Chekhov's Gun — Smith realises the senator has changed sides when he sees dog hair on his trousers, and realises he's met with the villain. Subverted when Hammerson is shown stuffing his dog's predecessor.
Hammerson: Don't worry Duchess, this ain't going to happen to you. Not for a few years anyway. (Duchess whimpers)
- Hooker with a Heart of Gold: DQ who, to protect baby Oliver, will give a John a blowjob to buy him a bulletproof vest. Smith quips, "I hate to think what you'd do to get him into the right school."
- High-Altitude Battle: And it's awesome.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: Hertz might have won the final shootout if he hadn't had such a big and heavy gun to try and aim and fire while critically wounded.
- Hypocritical Humor: After Hertz discovers the "Oliver" he ran over in the street is just a baby doll hooked up to a recording, he flips out and yells, "Oh my God, that is twisted. That sick son of a bitch!"
- I Love the Dead: Hertz gropes the bare-breasted corpse of Oliver's mother, though he at least looks ashamed of himself immediately afterwards. It does give him a Eureka Moment when he realises Smith has to ensure Oliver is fed.
- Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy : Like the rest of this movie it's cranked up to 11 - and that's if they're able to fire at all. Lampshaded when Go-To-Guy claims he was only trying to scare Smith into surrendering. Smith snarks back that it explains why he's such a lousy shot.
- Improbable Aiming Skills: Starting from being able to precisely hit a Merry-Go-Round's bars to make it spin faster. The finale is this: manipulating a robber's arm to point at and fire at his co-robber behind cover.
- Infant Immortality: Do we need to tell you? Averted for the two other babies.
- Interplay of Sex and Violence: The mid-coitus gunfight.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Smith, who is willing to protect a baby (and a mother) he doesn't even know and is genuinely concerned about the prostitute.
[when asked if there's anything he doesn't hate by the Love Interest
] I don't hate you.
- Just Keep Driving: Smith runs a guy off the road for the unforgivable act of cutting him off without using a blinker. Oh, and littering.
- Killed Mid-Sentence: Senator Rutledge.
- Knight In Sour Armour: Smith again.
- Lampshade Hanging: "Do we really suck, or is he really that good?"
- Land in the Saddle: The modern version.
- Large Ham: With a varying degree, everyone but the baby is a Large Ham. However, Mr. Hertz trumps them all. And we love him for it.
- Laser-Guided Karma: Gun merchant Hammerson is (of course) shot with his own gun.
- Law of Inverse Recoil: Hertz' Deagle should rip off his lower arm and send it flying a few feet backwards when fired one-handed, yet this Hand Cannon doesn't have any recoil whatsoever.
- Then again, no gun in this film has any recoil.
- Leap and Fire: Smith while Akimboing two pistols into opposite directions.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Hertz is good at these "Violence is one of the most fun things to watch."
- Literal Ass Kicking: Done by Hertz to a henchman near the beginning of the film. After getting shot in the bum.
- Logo Joke: The sprocket holes in the New Line Cinema logo appear to the sound of gunshots.
- Ludicrous Gibs: The finale of the parachute scene.
- Made of Plasticine:
- In several scenes, Smith kills people using carrots.
- The last shot blows a hole in Hertz's chest, lungs and all visible.
- Madlibs Catchphrase: Do you know what I hate? [Something relevant to the situation]
- Meaningful Rename: "Smith" is both a generic pseudonym as well as a reference to the character's former career as a gunsmith. It also recalls the popular brand Smith & Wesson. The name reflects the character's desire and inability to forget his tragic past.
- MeatShield: Smith uses one of the paratroopers as one to protect himself against another one.
- Mooks: Hertz and Hammerson have them by the dozen. Before Smith mows most of them down. Later on, after the parachute scene, the scenery is littered with dead Mooks.
- "Mission: Impossible" Cable Drop: One Mook tries this during the staircase shootout until Smith shoots his rope. Smith succeeds at doing the same.
- More Dakka: From semi-auto pistols. Somehow. The animation during the end credits gives new meaning to the phrase "a hail of bullets."
- Mundane Made Awesome: The film's first shot is an extreme close-up of Smith's face, with dramatic music, as he eats a carrot.
- Mr. Fanservice: For the female audience we have the handsome Clive Owen naked during his famous sex scene.
- Ms. Fanservice: Monica Bellucci as DQ is quite the epitome of this trope.
- Mr. Smith: Smith is obviously not the hero's real name; the Big Bad even lampshades him as The Man With No Name who rides into town on a White Stallion. Hertz thinks he's worked out who Smith is, but isn't completely sure right up to the end.
- Neutral Female: Monica Bellucci's character. The mother in the opening doesn't count because, realistically, you wouldn't expect her to do any fighting, and because the whole movie happens because she's the one who first opens fire on the goons sent to kill her. Oh, and she dies.
- No Name Given: Many of the supporting characters are simply identified by descriptive names in the credits despite their screentime or importance: The Baby's Mother, The Lone Man, Hertz's Driver, etc. The most bizarre is one Mook identified as "Man Who Rides Shotgun."
- Not So Above It All: Hertz resolving not to lose his temper, quoting the Discovery Channel on how anger lowers your IQ. Needless to say, he gets increasingly livid as the movie wears on.
- Of Corsets Sexy: Donna spends most of the movie in one.
- One Handed Is Cool: Guns of almost any size are fired one-handed.
- One-Man Army: Smith dispatches a whole battalion of Mooks by setting up an intricate system of rope-aimed, rope fired guns. As far as the Mooks are concerned, he's everywhere at once.
- Throughout the whole movie, he kills almost a hundred and fifty guys.
- Pet the Dog: Done straight up with Hammerson, who's openly fond of his Alsatian, and subverted with Smith — who'll shoot a man because he has a ponytail, but refuses to shoot a tracker dog because he likes dogs. He even adopts the aforementioned Alsatian after killing Hammerson. But Smith's best Pet the Dog moment is when he starts showing affection for the baby (which he previously referred to as 'it') by teaching him the proper way to handle a firearm safely. Awww...
- This, of course, triggers Donna's he'd-make-a-good-father-so-now-I-want-to-have-sex-with-him hormones.
- Hertz's affection for his off-screen son and wife.
- Platonic Prostitution: Hiring a lactating prostitute to take care of a newborn baby.
- Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: If you cause Smith to ask someone if they know what he hates, make your peace with God IMMEDIATELY.
- Precision F-Strike: Lots.
Hertz: Fuck me sideways.
- Also, the neon sign after Smith has shot out most of the letters.
FUK U (TOO)
- Pretty in Mink: Donna's purple fur coat.
- Pretty Little Headshots: Oliver's mother, who is pretty and got a neat little hole in her head, apparently so we wouldn't realize she was dead immediately. Averted for the entire rest of the movie.
- Prophetic Name: DQ winds up as a waitress at Dairy Queen.
- Put the "Laughter" in "Slaughter": Hertz, a screaming tornado of beard and teeth.
- Rated M for Manly
- Refuge in Audacity: The entire MO of the movie, along with Rule of Cool.
- Rube Goldberg Device: In order to get into the Abandoned Warehouse he's using as a home, Smith takes a rat out of a cage, removes a brick from the wall and pushes the rat inside. The rat runs down a tunnel into a wire basket on a pulley which drops from the weight, pushing down a latch to open the door.
- Rule of Cool: Pretty much the entire point of the film, and meta-humor. Given how over-the-top it is... it actually works.
- Right-Hand Attack Dog: Duchess seems this way, but is a subversion.
- Serial Escalation: When the first gunfight has Smith use leaked oil to turn himself into a sledding death machine, you know how often this trope's gonna be used.
- Screaming Birth: Justified when you've got a shootout taking place all around you, including hot cartridge cases dropping onto your belly. It doesn't help when the man helping with the delivery elects to cut the umbilical cord with a point-blank gunshot.
- Soap Opera Disease: Senator Rutledge.
- Shot in the Ass: One mook gets it twice, once from Smith and the other from Hertz for cocking up.
Smith: What's up, Doc? (bites carrot)
Hertz: You are a wascally wabbit.
- The whole film was (admitted by the director) based on the scene from the end of Hard Boiled where Tequila runs around the hospital with a baby, shooting a unending stream of mooks.
- Signs of Disrepair:
- Smith shoots out a "Faulk Truck & Tool" sign in the opening gunfight to read, "FUK U," while saying, "Fuck you, you fucking fuckers!" The camera pans to show the word "TOOL" next to it, and Hertz shoots out the L to have it read, "FUK U TOO", responding with, "Tit for tat."
- A later scene halfway through the film has a thrown gun shoot off most of the numbers on an "X Days Since" sign at a gun factory, leaving only 0 out of over 1,000 days.
- Stairwell Chase: Subverted — more like "stairwell turkey shoot".
- Stealth Pun: Monica Belluci's character (a lactating prostitute) is named/nicknamed DQ - the initials are for her real name Donna Quintana. That, and Dairy Queen.
- Strawman Political: The liberal politician thinks he's destined for the White House, will do anything to get there (including inflicting horrible pain on babies), and sells out his beliefs to save his own life. To be slightly fair, the Conservative strawman is going to kill him painfully if he doesn't loosen up his gun laws. The conservative strawman does bad things with great relish, and monologues about how guns are great because they let cowards feel powerful. So one strawman's a little more overstuffed than the other.
- The Stoic:
- Smith, usually. Even when ranting about stuff that pisses him off. The Lone Man, as well, even as his men drop like flies and he flings himself out of a plane to attempt to kill Smith.
- Hertz spends a fair chunk of the movie as one, too, lampshading it with the explanation that getting mad causes a reduction in IQ, something he can't afford. All this, of course, just makes his eventual blow-up in the warehouse all the more hilarious:
Hertz: GODDAMMIT, SMITH!!!
- Take That: The very first gun that Smith uses in the movie, a Walther PPK, jams, and he calls it a "piece of crap." Clive Owen, the actor who plays Smith, was briefly considered to play James Bond in Casino Royale. Bond's signature weapon is a Walther PPK.
- Tank Goodness: Smith puts Donna and the baby inside an M24 Chaffee in a museum.
"You'll be safe from gunfire and most explosives."
- Toyota Tripwire: Smith uses a car door to take out a machine-gun-toting mook hanging out of the side of a van.
- Testosterone Poisoning: This film takes everything that's awesome about Gun Porn and ramps it up to ridiculous levels.
- Trademark Favorite Food: Smith likes his carrots, and his first kill in the movie? Via carrot.
- Use Your Head: Hertz is about to poke out Smith's eye with a scalpel — Smith headbutts him in the face, getting the scalpel through his forehead but missing his eye. He then yanks out the scalpel and impales Hertz's mooks.
- Villainous Breakdown: Hertz. As his patience wears out, his temper began to get the better of him.
- Villianous Resolve: Hertz is a grade A asshole, but he pulls himself up off the floor after taking !four! bullets in the chest, an obviously critical wound, and stands up for the final showdown with Smith.
- Visual Gag: Smith exclaims "Shit!" when he has a Eureka Moment; on seeing Senator Rutlidge in the newspaper Oliver has been using as a diaper.
- Wall Bang Her: Smith does this to DQ while killing the mercenaries.
- Walking Transplant: Rutledge inseminating multiple women in order to mine the bone marrow from babies.
- When All You Have Is a Hammer: Smith uses his gun to do just about everything, from shooting villains to delivering babies.
- With This Ring: Smith slips the triggerguard of a pistol over DQ's finger with obvious symbolism.
- We Need a Distraction: Donna needs to slip inside the tank, so Smith promises a distraction. He sees a woman striking her child so he proceeds to spank her.
- World of Badass: Everyone is a Badass except DQ and a few Innocent Bystanders. Yes, including Oliver who, despite just a few days old, loves Heavy Metal and guns.