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  • In Amazing Spider-Man #1, in order to protect his secret identity, Spider-Man tells somebody to make a check out to his superhero name. When told he'll have a hard time cashing it, his exact words are "We'll just see about that." Cut to him waiting in line at the bank, in full costume, getting rejected by the teller for not having any ID in the name of Spider-Man.
  • Amazing Spider-Man #13 has Peter in costume go to a physiatrist to find out if he has a split personality and is committing crimes as Spider-Man while asleep. The physiatrist agrees, thinking about the fame it would bring him having a superhero patient. However, Peter quickly realizes that he might risk telling him his secret identity and leaves, the physiatrist telling him to come back.
  • Amazing Spider-Man #19 has Jameson's priceless reaction to hearing Spidey's back in action.
    • And to top it all off, every employee in the Daily Bugle is relieved that Jameson finally stopped smiling and is back to his Jerkass ways.
  • Amazing Spider-Man Annual #1, the first appearance of the Sinister Six, has a hilarious scene where J. Jonah Jameson is wondering what happened to Spider-Man. He sees a spider on the window and figures that if Ant-Man can talk to ants, Spider-Man can talk to spiders. Cue JJJ yelling at the spider and his employees being completely baffled, while a caption box three pages later says he eventually figured out that spiders can't or won't talk.
    • The Annual also has a quick two-page "story" telling about how Stan Lee and Steve Ditko create the old Spider-Man comics... it basically consists of Lee dumping most of the workload on Ditko, who plods along desperately with the artwork, trying to keep up with Lee's manic rate of ideas and dialogue (Though it became a little less funny in the wake of Ditko's rather abrupt resignation from Marvel some time later).
      Steve Ditko: Hello, operator? If I get any calls from a guy named Lee, tell him I've been drafted!
  • Amazing Spider-Man #23 has this exchange during a fight with the Green Goblin.
    Green Goblin: Blast you! You talk so much, you get me all confused!
    Spider-Man: How about that! I've got a new weapon I didn't even know about! My spider speech!
  • Amazing Spider-Man #29 has Peter discover that Unstoppable Rage doesn't always work, especially when it's misplaced.
    Ned Leeds: (with his arms around Betty Brant) I'll look after Miss Brant... You concentrate on your fight [against the Scorpion]... and watch out for his tail!
    Peter: (thought bubble) Bro-ther! First he muscles in on my girl... and now, he's giving me advice on how to protect myself! Yeesh! It's all the Scorpion's fault! I'll pulverize him!
    (cut to Peter, upside down, slamming into the wall next to Ned and Betty)
    Ned Leeds: I told you to watch out for his tail!
  • Most of Peter's interactions with Jameson can count, especially this gem from Amazing Spider-Man #46.
    Peter: So how about some bread?
    Jonah: If you're hungry, go to the downstairs commissary and charge it to me!
    Peter: I was referring to scratch, long green, folding stuff, money to you!
    Jonah: Money?? Don't you trust me, Parker?
    Peter: A question like that can ruin a great relationship, J.J.!
  • Even though it was published during the Darker and Edgier Bronze Age of comic books, Amazing Spider-Man #130 still manages to present the utter hilarity that is the Spider-Mobile.
    • And when they take it out for a test run, Johnny Storm has to deal with Peter's truly awful driving skills. After Peter has practically trashed Park Avenue:
      Johnny: Hold it! I SAID HOLD IT! You are not driving that thing until I give you a few pointers. I'm not going to be an accessory to mass murder!
    • And finally, the visual image of Spider-Man driving the Spider-Mobile on the walls... of the Daily Bugle. Also, Spidey going "WHEEEE!" while Jameson screams at him to get off his wall in impotent rage.
  • The majority of Spider-Man: Sweet Charity (2002). The premise? Spider-Man and J Jonah Jameson are forced to go camping together for charity. The jokes pretty much write themselves.
  • Amazing Spider Man #140 has Spidey grilling Jameson for information about the Grizzly. After he's done, Spidey points out that Grizzly is after Jameson because Jameson ruined his career. When Jameson begins to insult him, Spidey breaks his cigar, tells Jameson he doesn't mind if the Grizzly beats him up and swings off into the night. Jameson's response is to rant and throw his shoe at him.
    Jameson: YOU CAN'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, YOU-YOU-YOU—! (He realizes that his shoe is now gone.) My shoe. Why did I throw my shoe? THAT'S A FIFTY DOLLAR PAIR OF SHOES! I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT, SPIDER-MAN! I'LL-
  • In an otherwise tense issue in which the Scorpion attempts to kill Spidey and Aunt May, Amazing Spider Man #146 has an absolutely hilarious ending:
    Scorpion: (Dangling from the Chrysler building) I don't want to fall-don't let me fall-I'll do anything you ask!
    Spidey: Anything...?
    (Cut to Scorpion, Peter and May in the hospital, with Scorpion under arrest)
    Scorpion: -apologize for frightening you Mrs. Parker. It was a rotten thing to do, I'm sorry, and I want to forget I ever saw you. Any of you, and I hope I never see you again!
    Peter: It may not be exactly what Spider-Man had in mind, but I guess it'll do. Right, Aunt May?
    Aunt May: One moment, Peter. I've something to say to this gentleman. You should be ashamed of yourself, young man. I haven't a very high opinion of Spider-Man...but at least he has manners.
    Scorpion: Why, you old-
  • Amazing Spider-Man #216, which centers around the NY Spring Marathon, has this Funny Background Event with two middle-aged New Yorkers as Spidey is swinging through the streets:
    Harry: Ya signed up for WHAT?!
    Harry's Wife: The marathon, Harry.
    Harry: Ya spent thirty bucks onna new pair'a shoes for WHAT?!
    Harry's Wife: The marathon, Harry.
    Harry: Ya forty pounds overweight, ya live on chocolates an' jelly beans, ya so lazy ya take a cab to the corner mailbox and yer goin' WHERE?!
    Harry's Wife: The marathon, Harry.
  • Amazing Spider Man #260 has the Hobgoblin and Spidey crash into the ladies' room at one point during their brawl. Realizing where they are, the subsequent dialogue is just wonderful.
    Hobgoblin: I couldn't have chosen a more appropriate site for your death, Spider-Man! Keep struggling! That way I'll enjoy my eventual triumph all the more!
    Spidey: (sends Hobgoblin crashing into a stall) Sure, pal, happy to oblige!
    (Hobgoblin lands in such a way that it looks like he's sitting on the toilet)
    Hobgoblin: (furious) DON'T SAY A WORD! I know you're smirking beneath your mask!
    • And then Spidey temporarily webs Hobgoblin's hand to the potty.
      Hobgoblin: Oh, no! You'll pay for this indignity! This one, and all the others! YOU'LL PAY ONE THOUSANDFOLD!
  • The sheer hilarity that is Amazing Spider Man #266. First off, Spidey saves a depressed Mortimer Toynbee from jumping off a building. A few weeks later, Spidey is assisting the NYPD during a shootout between them and two crooks holding hostages. As Spidey fights the crooks, Morty, in full costume, leaps in to save the day.
    Toad: (jumping over a very confused crowd) Stop! Harm one web on his head and you'll face the wrath of—THE TOAD!
    (He knocks out the second robber)
    Spidey: The Toad? What're you doing here? Weren't you one of the Evil Mutants?
    Toad: don't know? You don't remember a few weeks back? On the ledge?
    Spidey: Ledge...wait! That was you?! Sorry...I didn't recognize you.
    Toad: I suppose you wouldn't. A few weeks of therapy and I'm a new man! I don't even need to go back for sessions anymore!
    Spidey: The doctors told you that?
    Toad: No, I told me that! They just said my progress was remarkable. Either way, I'm ready to accept your offer, Spider-Man.
    Spidey: (As a camera crew steps forward) —Offer—? Oh please, no, don't tell me...
    Toad: Yes, that's right! I'm going to be your new partner...friend!
    Spidey: (facepalming, having an internal monologue) I should've pushed him off, I should've pushed him off...
    (Cut to someone watching TV)
    Eugene Colorito: They're calling the Toad Spidey's new partner. They're calling him an incredible leaping wonder. Well, I call him a RIP-OFF! And I'm NOT taking it SITTING DOWN! This creep is gonna be sent packing, courtesy off...THE FABULOUS FROG-MAN!
    • Later in the day, Spidey attempts to persuade Toad that he doesn't need a sidekick, citing what happened with Black Cat as an example. Toad then asks him if Spidey couldn't try him in the Black Cat's place. Spidey then imagines Toad in Black Cat's furred catsuit, and immediately tries to banish the image from his mind.
    • At night, Toad goes to a local bad-guy bar and grill in disguise to persuade 47 criminals to kill Spider-Man, so Toad can swoop in and save Spidey's hide. Then he meets Eugene for the first time, and tells him to go home, as it's a school night. As Toad walks away laughing...
      Eugene: Viper! Spidey's harboring a viper in his bosom. And as long as he is, he'll need the help of Eugene Colorito—the fabulous Frog Man—! Huh?
      (He realizes a dog has just deposited its bodily waste on his shoe)
    • The next morning, Peter tries to get the Toad and work off his mind by turning on the TV.
      Peter: (exiting his darkroom) Not too shabby. Even Joe Robertson'll like this pix. The man's one tough editor. Now if I could just solve my toad problem. Our meeting's in an hour, and I still don't know what to say. What can I say, except...
      (He switches the TV on)
      Kermit: (as Peter listens with a horrified look on his face) It's not easy being green, 'cause green's the-
      Peter: (Throwing pics away in rage) That's it. I'm heading up to the roof.
    • Soon, it's time for the meeting, and Spidey is swinging off when he bumps into Frog-Man.
      Frog-Man: This whole thing is a trap, set up by the Toad!
      Spidey: A trap? Are you sure?
      Frog-Man: (As two cars carrying armed gunmen screech to a halt) Yeah, I'm sure.
      Toad: (Leaping in) Don't worry, Spider-Man. I, the Toad, will save you from THE 47 DANGEROUS GUNMEN!
      Spidey: You mean 9, don't you? And even they are not in good shape.
      Drunken Gunman: (As his friends fail miserably to form a firing line, stand straight and aim their pistols properly) At least we're standing...
    • Frog-Man and the Toad promptly start fighting as the gunmen open fire
      Gunman: Let 'em have it! There's only six of them!
      Another Gunman: You're seeing double, dimwit! And shoot quieter!
      Spidey: (Swinging away as all the shots go wild) You idiots! You'll hit each other before you hit me!
    • Frog-Man sends Toad flying into a shop window by playing leapfrog
      Toad: (bouncing forward) Make your move, boy! I'm ready for anything!
      (Frog-Man ducks as Toad sails towards an exotic pets store)
      Toad: (quietly) Except that.
      (Toad crashes through the store window, and promptly releases several dozen frogs into the street)
      Toad: (Shaking his fist at a prancing Frog-Man as frogs croak around him) That hurt!
    • Toad eventually gets up and leaps back into the fray:
      Frog-Man: C'mon, Toady. Let's go to the hop! (As Toad grabs him) Hey—! Leggo! I can't control my direction!
      Toad: Now isn't that just too-
      (The duo crash into another shop window)
      Spidey: AGAIN? What I'd give for the store window concession for this block. I'd make a mint! (spots gunman aiming at him) Uh-oh! Pug-ugly at 12 O'Clock, undoubtedly holding some lethal weapon. And no one to 'save' me. Whatever shall I do?
      (A croaking frog jumps onto the gunman's .45)
      Disgusted Gunman: Oh, ick! ICK! ICK! ICK! I—(gets punched by Spidey)
      Spidey: Thanks, frog.
    • With the gunman out, Spidey turns his attention back to the epic duel in a toy store window.
      Toad: (Slipping on marbles, trying to punch Frog-Man) Stand still, you stupid sod!
      Frog-Man: (Also slipping and failing to hit Toad) You first, old man!
      Spidey: Now there's something you don't see every day. They're losing their marbles! At least things can't get worse!
      (A car with the other gunmen arrives)
      Gunman riding shotgun: We're not too late! There he is! Shoot! SHOOT!
      Oliver Osnick: (As one of his metal arms reveals itself) Have no fear...the Spectacular Spider-Kid is here!
      Spidey: (slapping his head) It's worse!
    • Spider-Kid somehow flips the car over, then arrives to take on the other two:
      Spider-Kid: Come on, losers! Take your best shot!
      Frog-Man: Ready, Toad?
      Toad: Ready, Frog-Man and—
      (They both jump)
      Toad: One...
      Frog-Man: —Two!
      Toad: Thr-WHUMPF.
      Spider-Kid: (As the two collide) Hah, you missed—(Frog-Man and Toad land on him)—MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—
    • Spidey's attempt to chew them all out somehow results in the formation of a new superhero team.
      Spidey: My responsibility ends here! And frankly, you three misfits deserve each other. ...Uh...wait...that's not to say that--
      Frog-Man: You know, Toad, you do have a lot of experience. Even if you do dumb things like set up ambushes just so Spidey thinks he needs you.
      Spider-Kid: Yeah, and then boast outside my window so I find out all about it!
      Frog-Man: And you've always had your natural power. I'm just starting out...
      Toad: Well, you've certainly got me beat on leaping height, Frog-Man. Why, if I could hone your fighting skills...
      Spidey: WHAT fighting skills? He couldn't even beat an EGG!
      Toad: (Addressing Spider-Kid) And these hydraulic arms? You make them yourself?
      Spider-Kid: You bet! You need a weapons maker for this team, I'm your man!
      Spidey: Team? WHAT TEAM?!
      Toad: (Raising a finger in the air) Gentlemen, Spider-Man is right. We deserve each other!
      Spider-Kid: A real super-team! I'm a charter member! And we'll call ourselves...
      Spidey: Curly, Larry and Moe? Guys, you can't be serious.
      Frog-Man: (As the trio walk away) Don't worry, Spider-Man! We won't steal your thunder...too often. Hey, guys! How about what Spidey called us for a team name!
      Toad: Misfits? That's appropriate.
      The Misfits: (jumping away together) TO THE MISFITS!
      Spidey: (exasperated) Great. Just great. I can think of more appropriate names, like—(a series of trademarked logos appears) THE ALL-WIENER SQUAD™. THE OY TEAM™. THE SPASTIC THREE™.
  • A small one in a gritty story arc-Issue #285 of ASM has Hammerhead proposing that he become leader of all the gangs in NYC to The Rose. After he leaves, the Rose turns to his subordinates, and proceed to talk like gossiping teenagers:
    The Rose: That man is stuck in an Edward G. Robinson film.
    Johnston: Absolutely.
    Varley: Yup.
  • In ''Spectacular Spider-Man #256" Peter (currently in the middle of his "Identity Crisis" arc after being framed for murder) gets some relief in the form of his all-time most pathetic villain- White Rabbitnote . Add in Grizzly and Gibbon, two of the most pathetic wannabe superheroes as well and the issue is sheer cover-to-cover hilarity. The comedic highlight is probably when Peter, unable to reach any of his costumes note  is forced to rescue the blundering twosome from White Rabbit while wearing a paper bag on his head:
    White Rabbit: Who are you- the Unknown Comic?
    Peter: No- I'm the... um... the Bombastic Bag Man!
  • Spidey swinging up from behind a Mook with a jetpack and suddenly snatching the jetpack off him:
    Cue Oh, Crap! moment from Mook
    Spidey: Some people just won't listen.
  • During a fight with the Scorpion, assisted by Black Cat, while powerless:
    Spidey: (Sneaks up behind Scorpion and grabs his tail) (Thinking) I've got his tail! I've got his tail!
    Spidey: (Remembers he's powerless) (Thinking) Why have I got his tail?
  • Though this takes place in one of She-Hulk's comics, Spidey's response to why Jameson hates him so much.
    • Now doubles as Hilarious in Hindsight, considering what happened over in the Ultimate 'verse.
    • Also, JJJ's use of the classic defense, "I have black friends", is actually true, considering his best friend Joe Robertson IS indeed black. This makes it even funnier (along with his lawyer's Face Palm).
  • Lady Stilt-Man. Even Spidey can't stop laughing... And the way she is defeated is even more hilarious. Even before Deadpool shows up, this is one of the most hilarious issues of Spider-Man in years.
  • In Avenging Spider-Man, Spidey and the Avengers are a bit of a ways away from NYC taking care of a giant robot attack, and Peter then finds out that none of his teammates are planning on going back to New York at the moment, leaving him in need of a ride. Then a game of "not it" happens to see who gets saddled with taking him home—and that who turns out to be none other than Red Hulk.
    Spidey: Someday I'll learn how to fly the jet.
    Wolverine: We've heard that one before.
  • 2003's "The Rules of the Game" arc is packed with them. A robot falling in love with Reed Richards, Rocket Racer smacking into a window in an attempt to make a cool entrance, Peter putting on a disguise and getting beaten up at a Bad Guy Bar... but the best had to be Scorpion being tricked into into breaking his own leg. "If that was... then whose leg is... Oh."
    • Rocket Racer is...not pleased with certain aspects of his new costume. Specifically, the nipples.
      Spider-Man: [being held up with his face close to Rocket Racer's chest] Ma-ma?
      Rocket Racer: [throwing him to the ground] Shut up, man! I didn't make the damn thing.
  • 2004 introduced a new enemy called the Queen. While most of the issues she appears in get dark, the Queen herself provides a few funny moments.
    • When Captain America is captured by The Queen's brainwashed minions, Spidey shouts he said he didn't know her. Queen knocks Cap out with a kick and says "he knows me."
    • News of the kiss between Spider-Man and Queen spreads throughout New York. It is talked about by newspapers, talks shows, S.H.I.E.L.D and even Mary Jane. Everyone is surprised that the two went from beating each other up to making out, but everyone seems to think Spider-Man was the one who kissed Queen. What adds to this is there are photos showing Queen hugging a defeated Spider-Man and holding him close as she kisses him while his arms are completely limp and there is blood on his mouth from being beaten by her, but somehow everyone thinks he's the one who suddenly kissed her instead of the other way around.
    • The Queen is a Mood-Swinger, going from beating up Spider-Man to flirting with him, or giving him a nasty beating for rejecting her advances or simply annoying her.
      Queen: (after previously threatening Spidey and smashing his head into a wall) Eh, I like you're a survivor. I can respect that.
      (Queen is kissing a captured Spider-Man after flirting with him, only for him to force her off him ending their kiss)
      Spider-Man: PTEI! Get offa me lady!
      Queen: (grabs him by the chin and has a nasty Death Glare and snarl) No one does that to me you little worm! NO ONE! (proceeds to slap Spider-Man across the face twice)
  • One issue of Spider-Man was called "Slyde Into Destiny". It features Spidey's unknown archfoe, an incredibly minor and deluded villain calling himself "Slyde".
    Slyde: That's right, citizens of New Slyde City! You have all been Slyde'd! Slode? Slydomized?
  • During Mike Wieringo's Spider-Man run, just after he super-evolved and just before the Civil War. Aunt May completely owns, humiliates and scares the living bejeebers out of Tony Stark, Reed Richards and Hank Pym. These three have faced down cosmic horrors from beyond time and space and one little old lady turns them into quivering messes.
  • Aunt May has frightened J. Jonah Jameson so badly that JJJ has forbidden Peter from ever letting her phone him again. This is a (perfectly normal) man whose reaction to costumed killers tearing his office apart to murder him is one of irritation at how much this is going to cost, and one little old lady had him holding the phone two feet from his ear and cringing. Do not mess with Aunt May.
  • Spider-Man/Black Cat: The Evil That Men Do is extremely drama-heavy, but it's an excellent example of how Spidey and Cat's personalities work off each other. Specifically when they're interrogating an imprisoned Scorpia on who recruited her to assassinate someone:
    Spider-Man: Either you're gonna tell us who hired you, or I'm gonna hang outside your window pegging you with web-balls all night. And if that's not annoying enough, I'll have Black Cat sing "Memories" from Cats. Hit it, Cat!
    Scorpia: All right, all right, all right! God, I hate you two...
    • Spidey precedes this by acting as the intermediary from the window between Scorpia (in the cell) and Cat (on the roof), while intentionally misconstruing the conversation for his amusement.
      Scorpia: Is that cat lady with you?
      Spider-Man: Yup.
      Scorpia: Tell her she's a dead woman when I get out of here.
      Black Cat: What did she say?
      Spider-Man: She says no woman with a chest like yours should be able to move as fast as you do!
      Black Cat: Tell her they act as ballast!
      Spider-Man: I will!
  • During Civil War (2006) when Peter unmasks himself on live television, leading to Jameson falling out his chair in shock, was hilarious.
  • Batman / Spider-Man, after Batman corrects Spidey's reference to The Road To Morocco:
    Spider-Man: A-ha! I knew we had something in common besides our love of tights! You're into old movies too, huh?
    Batman: I was - when I was young.
    Spider-Man: Young? Somehow, I can't picture you ever being young! You must've been pretty cute, waddling around in your diapers, chasing the Joker across the playground!
    Batman: I was never 'cute'.
  • In one occasion the FF had to Spot the Imposter between Spider-Man and the Chameleon. Ben solved it by throwing both of them down of the building, with poor Chameleon being recognized when he started screaming while Spidey just spun a web and flung himself away.
  • Amazing Spider-Man's 231-232 two-parter "Hyde and Seek" is full of humorous moments, such as Spidey suspecting that danger's "right around the corner", only to find that Hyde has thrown an entire corner of a building at him. Or Spider-Man showing off the defeated Cobra to someone saying "Daddy, Daddy! Can I keep him?"
  • Amazing Spider-Man #699, as Peter Parker, trapped in Dr. Octopus' body, attempts to figure out how Ock was able to swap bodies with him, starts to look through Ock's memories... and finds out he and Aunt May did the nasty!
    Peter: [Mentally] NO! NOOOOO! [Vocally, as Doc Ock] ...Ahhhhhh!
  • "Instincts bad."
    • The entire story that panel comes from qualifies: Spider-Man stops a magic-using bank robber but accidentally gets the spell the robber was trying to use, which a few minutes later causes all the money in the vault to start teleporting to him no matter how hard he tries to get rid of it. After helping him break the robber out of jail so he can get rid of the spell, Black Cat can't help trying to run off with one of the duffel bags—which of course teleports back to Peter.
  • Amazing Spider-man #600, as J. Jonah Jameson was officiating his father's marriage to May Parker and had just asked if anyone had any objections.
    Anyone? This's your window. Right here. Take your time, I can wait.
    *sigh* Very well.
    • And after the vows are said and done:
      Jonah: I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride.
      Parker: Psst, J.J?
      Jonah: What?!
      Peter: Now that we're related...can I borrow fifty bucks?
      Jonah: (As his father and May kiss) PARKERRR!
  • Whenever Peter’s Spider-Sense goes into overdrive, it becomes ridiculously thorough…
    Truck: Huge machine of metal and death!
    Stapler: Pending impalement!
    Elevator: Might stall!
    Random Slob: Ate burritos for lunch!
    Peter: "Shut up spider sense! I can cling to walls; I’m not going to fall down the stairs!"
  • All of "The Commuter Cometh" from Amazing #267. Poor Pete has to follow a criminal to the suburbs, where he just goes through one sort of hilarious mishap after another, from being chased by a guard dog to getting kicked off riding off the top of a bus for not having any fare on him (he can't use his webs because the buildings are not tall enough.)
  • While not a comic, the novel New Avengers: Breakout by Alisa Kwitney has a fantastic moment where Spider-Man gains entry to the Raft while the other members of the team are hunting down Electro. Going off a hunch, Spider-Man walks down a hallway in the Raft filled with imprisoned villains (including Doc Ock and Carnage) and bribes information out of them by offering them doughnuts. Doc Ock even begins tearing up when he hears they're from a coffee shop whose cinnamon rolls he adores.
  • One incident had Peter returning to his apartment with fast food after a pretty rough fight (he was missing his gloves and web-shooters and had a mask lens broken. He mutters "Aw, crap" when he realizes Mary Jane is asleep. As he tries to sneak in, she speaks up, telling him that his excuse had better be Thanos again or don't bother telling her. Even worse when she says that if it's the Vulture, she's gonna punch him in the face.
  • After the conclusion of Superior, Peter has to take over Parker Industries, so he tries to be a nice, fun boss. By showing up in a hawaiian shirt and encouraging everyone to have fun with work. His coworkers were used to Octavius!Peter, and are..rather shocked at his sudden personality change.
    Is he bipolar?
  • In the first issue since he came back, SHIELD wonders if its really the actual Spidey or still Ock. And then on his first day on the job, he ends fighting almost naked, wearing only some improvised underwear made out of web due to one of the villians using her powers to control fabric to ruin his outfit, and bystanders post all over Twitter. The reactions of everyone are amusing, knowing this is the Spidey they all know and love.
    Spider-Woman: Okay, Cap. I'm convinced. That's Parker. And he's completely back to normal.
    Captain America: How can you tell, Jess?
    Spider-Woman: 'Cause that could only happen to him.
    • Further reinforced to them in person in the next issue, when Spidey strolls in wearing jeans and carrying a box of donuts.
      Captain America: Why are you wearing pants?
      Spider-Man: Okay, here goes: around Christmastime, Doc Ock and I mind-swapped and the "me" that's been running around was actually him in my body. Now I'm back. But in my last fight, all my clothes got zapped off, so I webbed myself up some underwear. But I didn't know that Ock changed my web formula to last longer and now my pants are stuck to my butt. And it's been over an hour. And I really have to pee. (Beat) So we good?
  • In the crossover between Amazing, Inhuman and All-New Captain America, Spidey tries to think of something inspirational to the Nuhumans. He thinks of Cap (whose "speech" is over the top freedom spiel), Mr. Fantastic (who's just smug that his inventions can do anything and he's smarter than Spidey) and Cyclops (who is just shouting "JEAAAAAAAAAN!")
  • Post-Secret Wars (2015), Peter is back in form. Driving through the streets in his new Spider-Mobile, with Mockingbird at his side, he tries to come up with a theme song. Mockingbird tells him to knock it off, but he turns on the Auto-Tune instead. Her response is golden:
    Mockingbird: (in autotune) I have S.H.I.E.L.D. training and know 14 different ways to kill you right now.
    Spider-Man: Spider Mobile, auto-tune off.
    • After the day is saved, Mockingbird asks Peter about his Thou Shall Not Kill policy. He informs her that he knows now that he can't save everyone, but that he will save everyone he can. Everyone. She delights in mocking the seriousness (and clearly rehearsed nature) of his speech as she accompanies him back to Parker Industries.
    • Spidey and Mockingbird make a great comedic duo. She's usually his straighman, but not always. For instance, after he ejects her from a Spider-Jet to go save Aunt May instead of helping with a SHIELD mission, he reveals he built special wings into her suit. When she shows up to help him out with the save, she states he'll hire her back with a huge raise, when Peter objects that he never fired her, her reply is "You did! Out of a plane!" And, of course, when the battle's done, Mockingbird makes the requisite joke:
      Mockingbird: I flew all the way here. . . and boy are my arms tired.
      Spidey: Hey! I make the jokes here.
      Mockingbird: You shot me out of a plane.
      Spidey: Fair enough.
    • Later, when Peter finally introduces Aunt May to Bobbi Morse, May oh-so-subtly notes that Bobbi is very pretty, and not wearing a ring. Bobby deadpans that "I'm about due for another ex-husband." Doubly Hilarious in Hindsight when Peter and Bobbi do hook up, and their relationship doesn't even make it that far.
    • Hobie Brown is filling in for Peter, who is in a very public setting and cannot change into his webs, making horrible (and true to Spidey) puns about the zodiac theme of their assailants. One of Peter's business partners notes that Spidey's quips are terrible.
  • Amazing Spider-Man #246 is all about the characters having various daydreams, hosted by the Watcher. Black Cat dreams of Spidey helping her on heists and looking like Cary Grant under the mask, JJJ dreams of beating up Spider-Man singlehandedly and saving the city, and Spider-Man himself daydreams about saving JJJ and him kissing Spidey's feet while thanking him.
  • Issue #2 hilariously averts the No Peripheral Vision trope when Spider-Man and Prowler sneak into the base of the Zodiac, and Aquarius spots them while they're crawling on the ceiling: "That's Spider-Man and some guy up there. You see that, right?"
  • In issue #3 Post Secret-Wars, the Human Torch, angry that Peter bought the Baxter Building, charges in. Spidey catches him in a plexiglass cage. Not just any plexiglass cage. This plexiglass cage.
    • Torch comes in screaming for Parker. Spidey tells him to ixnay on the secret identity.
    • Leave it to Spider-Man to comment on the irony of it all by singing Alanis Morissette.
  • In Amazing 534:
    Editor's Note: What's Ben Grimm doing in this scene? For his part of this very same story told from his point of view, see Fantastic Four 539 ... because it's not what you think.
    Because yes, we do know what you're thinking.
    And really, you should be ashamed of yourself.
  • In Civil War II: Amazing Spider-Man #1, Pete tries to catch some shuteye at the Baxter Building after a long flight. He finds out that Johnny Storm is sleeping in his bed in the worst possible way. Oh, and Johnny is naked.
    • According to Ulysses, he also prefers to sleep in the buff when in New Atilan. Whenever he has a vision, Johnny will usually storm in naked.
  • Amazing Spider-Man vol 4 issue 25 has Peter having to share an overnight flight with Bobbi... who snores. And just as they're getting along, Aunt May pops up from behind to be amazingly embarrassing. And she's brought Harry with her (Peter did say "watch her". Didn't say anything about May following him to Hong Kong). Just as Peter thinks it can't get worse, out come the baby photos!
    May: This is from when Peter decided he wasn't going to wear pants.
  • One Valentine's Day comic has a disgruntled coffee shop worker slip a laxative into JJJ's coffee (JJJ having refused to give him a job once). The coffee is nearly drunk several times by different characters, until Jameson's wife falls victim to it. Jameson puts two and two together, before showing up at the coffee shop in person to force the guy to drink what's left of it.
    • From the same comic, Peter is unaware two different girls think he agreed to go out with them at the same time. In the end, he shows up sick and wearing a hobo's clothes (having had to trade his soaking-wet costume for them), and collapses as the girls are tearing into him, still unaware that they're angry at him (or why they might be angry at him). They instantly try to nurse him back to health.
  • Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #300 features a scene with Spider-Man chasing down Black Cat after the later stole a diamond ring. What follows is an almost word for word recreation of Tom King's run on Batman where Batman proposes to Catwoman. When Felicia proposes to Peter with the stolen ring, Peter just stands there dumbstruck. Then she sucker punches him telling him she just needed a distraction big enough for him to ignore his spider sense. Spider-Man lays on the rooftop clutching his legs in pain. What he says is a minor tear jerker, but the delivery makes it funny as well.
    Spider-Man: Oww! My legs... My... my feelings.
  • In Peter Parker: The Spectacular Spider-Man #301, Peter, J.J. Jameson, and Teresa Parker visit an alternate timeline in order to find the information they need to stop an alien invasion. They meet a version of Peter who was just starting out as Spider-Man, leading to numerous hilarious moments like:
    • Teen Peter lunges at adult Peter, believing the older Peter to be Mysterio until adult Peter gets Teen Peter in a headlock and says:
      Adult Peter: Well—, who else would remember when Liz Allan and Flash snuck into the Bio Lab after hours not realizing you were [Silent Whisper]
      Teen Peter: [Slumps to the ground]
    • J.J. asks why Peter wasn't enlisting the Avengers to help them instead, conveniently forgetting that Spider-Man was still reviled at this time thanks to J.J.'s own slandering of Spidey's good name. Peter exploits the moment for all it's worth as J.J. grimaces.
      Peter: Look, this may surprise you... but at this stage of my career... everyone hates me.
      Teen Peter: I've just had, you know, some misunderstandings with some jerks!
  • The 2018 relaunch of The Amazing Spider-Man sees Peter once again sharing an apartment with Randy Robertson...and subletting the extra bedroom to Fred Myers, aka Boomerang. When Fred learns that Peter used to take Spider-Man's pictures, what does he do? Drag him to Spider-Man Trivia at The Bar With No Name, where Peter goes on to win a perfect game and make bar history.
  • Issue #5 of Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man features a not-so-subtle meta Take That! at One More Day by Doctor Strange, when Peter asks if he can help with Aunt May's recent cancer diagnosis:
    Spider-Man: I don't suppose...?
    Dr. Strange: There are things I can do. There are things I can't. It's possible we could make a deal with an interdimensional demon, but you know, that could come with an eternity of torment.
    Spider-Man: Probably best we avoid that.
  • A Spider-Ham anniversary issue lampshades the Run the Gauntlet origin of the Sinister Six with Mysteriape of the Swinester Six suggesting the same and getting mocked for it.
    Mysteriape: I suggest we fight him one at a time and slowly wear him down until—
    Dr. Octopussy: You need to crack open your dome and take a fresh whiff of your plan, Mysteriape. That trick NEVER WORKS!

The Newspaper Strip

  • A lot of Peter's Idiot Ball moments qualify as this. One crowning example was when he, Ant Man (Scott Lang), and a retired Hank Pym were shrunken down to gnat size, Ant Man's unshrink power was disabled, and all of their respective physical strength levels dropped with their height unlike regular Pym Particles. They are soon found by a giant (to them) spider. Spider-Man quickly dives at the creature, telling Lang and Pym that he'll be okay since he still has the proportionate strength of a spider. Hank Pym immediately points out that so does the spider... since it's a spider. And since it's larger, it has a lot more proportionate spider strength. Peter is very quickly restrained by the arachnid.
  • In the grand conclusion of a relatively serious story arc which spanned several months, Spider-Man is preparing to capture the criminal when suddenly the hostage attempts to help by tossing a large rock at him, missing and knocking out Spider-Man instead. As the criminal attempts to take this oppertunity to escape, he trips over his own camera equipment and falls off a nearby cliff, bringing a somewhat serious story arc to a close with two instances of hilariously extreme incompetence.
  • The (in)famous "FAPPO!" fan edits. Even funnier, unlike the edit where Spider-Man actively tries to attack the truck, in the original comic, Spider-Man just messes up his swing and slams head first into it.
  • The entirety of the Iron Jonah story arc in which J. Jonah Jameson hijacks an old Iron Man armor, draws his mustache over the faceplate so people will know it's him and uses it to go after Spider-Man.
  • The entire team-up with Rocket Raccoon in which Peter and Mary Jane have to convince people that the anthropomorphic raccoon is just their son in a costume, and ends with Rocket and Peter shoving Ronan the Accuser's unconscious body into Rocket's tiny space craft. The fact that Rocket's comments on Kree "entering hibernation" when they are deprived of breathable air the the subject of a LOT of Alternate Character Interpretation adds a whole new level of dark humor to said scene.