- This exchange:Peter Parker: Spider-Man wasn't trying to attack the city, he was trying to save it. That's slander.
J. Jonah Jameson: It is not! I resent that! (beat) Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel.
- What makes this even funnier is that, legally speaking, Jameson is absolutely right. Knowing the distinction between slander and libel is very important for any publication or newspaper.
- There's also something about the way that he slows down to make that point, like he's making sure/taking great satisfaction to avoid legal repercussions.
- The scene where Flash tries attacking Peter after he's gotten his powers. His super-reflexes are represented by Bullet Time... which is so slow that he has time to dodge Flash's punch, shoot a confused look up at Flash, then focus his attention back on the fist, all in the time it takes a single punch to be thrown.
- Peter's initial attempts to figure out how his web-shooting works, including Shout Outs to other comic heroes such as Superman and Shazam.
- Then when he figures it out, the next step is practicing his swing, which results in his immediately crashing into a wall.
- Spider-Man silencing J. Jonah Jameson with webbing and telling him (referring to himself and Green Goblin) "Hey kiddo, let Mom and Dad talk for a minute, will ya?"
- Peter's original idea for his name.Announcer: "The Human Spider", that's it, that's the best you got?
Announcer: Oh, that sucks...
- Ever since, Bruce Campbell loves to bring up how it may look like just a throwaway cameo for him, but in fact if it wasn't for him, the whole series would be called The Human Spider.
- The Reveal of Peter's original costume after the announcer presents him to the crowd. After an inspired montage in the scene before, where we see Peter taking the time to go through several designs before settling on his iconic costume from the comics, followed by his appearance at the match up until this point being hidden by shadow, we finally see the fruit of his labors- a long sleeve shirt with a spider spray-painted on it and a red ski mask.
- Just the fact that Macho Man Randy Savage got his ass handed to him by Tobey Maguire of all people.
- Peter freaking out when he learns he signed up for a cage match. "Hey! Unlock the thing! Take the chain off!" "Hey freakshow! You're going nowhere! I got you for three minutes! Three minutes of playtime!"
- And of course, we must never forget BONESAW IS READYYYYYYYYY.
- Peter to Bonesaw: "That's a cute outfit. Did your husband give it to you?"
- Even before the match, there's a funny moment with Peter when he initially wants to sign up, courtesy of Octavia Spencer herself: "There's no featherweight division here, small fry. Next!"
- "It's you who's out, Gobby! Out of your mind!"
- During the Confused Bystander Interview montage, at one point, a random woman says he has those tights and that tight little- before getting cut off.
- After Spidey rejects Green Goblin's offer and escapes him in the building, he proclaims in such a hammy voice, "NO ONE SAYS NO TO ME!" And then we transition to Norman in the elevator with his eyes drooping and just looking stoned.
- Green Goblin giving Spidey a Dope Slap while giving him a We Can Rule Together speech.
- At one point, Mary Jane says the line "I'd like a cheeseburger". Something about that line and the way Kirsten Dunst says it is just hysterical.
- And one for the video game adaptation, when Spidey first meets The Shocker...and his adorably upholstered outfit.Spidey: So you must be...Quilt-Man! Padded Pete! Mr. Triple-Ply? Oh, I got it! THE CUSHION.
- From the same game, Spidey throwing one of Green Goblin's taunts back at him.Green Goblin: We're practically brothers, you and I!Spidey: Brothers, huh? Well then I'm telling mom!
- The noises Goblin and Peter make while fighting to death in the abandoned building.
- Despite how shocking and depressing Norman's death was, there's just something so funny about his reaction to his board missing Peter and about to impale him:Green Goblin/Norman (completely deadpan): '''Oh.''' *gets impaled*
- Jameson announcing to Hoffman that he's named the Green Goblin.Jameson: [picking up a phone to summon...] Hoffman!
Hoffman: [who just happen to be outside the office door] Yeah?
Jameson: [looks at his phone receiver in confusion and hangs it up.] Call the patent office! Tell 'em to copyright the name "Green Goblin"! I want a quarter every time somebody says it!
Hoffman: How about "Green Meanie"?
Jameson: [points to the office door, shooing Hoffman out]
- Another one of Jameson's exchanges:Peter Parker: You don't trust anyone, that's your problem.
J. Jonah Jameson: I trust my barber. (Bear in mind, JJJ has a graying flattop and a Hitler moustache. Everyone takes a beat to appreciate the epic misjudgment going on.)
- And then, immediately afterwards, Jameson tells Parker to leave as he tosses his cigar out the window...and then it flies back in. A Beat...then cue Green Goblin explosively crashing into the Bugle.
- Green Goblin: The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout.
Down came the Goblin and took the spider out!
- After briefly being surrounded by police at the parade, Green Goblin exclaims "I SURRENDER!", before immediately starting to beat the shit out of the nearby officers.
Funny / Spider-Man