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Funny / Superman vs. the Amazing Spider-Man

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N... Not that I've ever used one, obviously. Obviously.
  • Superman is fed up with loonies rampaging through his city:
    Superman: If it isn't one thing, it's another! There's always some new crackpot with an invention to destroy the world — and they always test it out on Metropolis!
  • Lex Luthor Humongous Mecha disposes of stolen goods by eating them. Seriously.
  • Steve Lombard tried to drench Clark with the pail-on-the-door gag, but Clark turned it on him.
  • During their first confrontation, Lex communicates Superman he is his greatest enemy. Why, Lex, tell him something he doesn't know.
  • Spider-Man's reaction when he runs into several crooks is so... Spidey!:
    Spider-Man: All week Jonah Jameson's been after me to snap some juicy news photos, and the first night I have time to look — the news comes straight to me! Norman Mailer, eat your heart out!
  • Spider-Man's reaction to Otto's hamminess:
    Doctor Octopus: Curse you, wall-crawler! Am I never to be free? Will you hound me forever? Will there never be an end?
    Spider-Man: Huh?
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  • Doc Ock really wastes his hamminess on Spidey:
    Doctor Octopus: Look to the sky, Spider-Man! And behold the flying octopus! It marks the beginning of a new era in my pursuit of crime!
    Spidey: Yeeech! And I thought the Spider-Mobile was a fiasco! Is that monstrosity supposed to impress people, Ockie? Or is it just a giant conversation piece?
    Doc Ock: Impudent clod!
  • Peter's camera... malfunctioned during his fight, leading to... let's say Jameson nearly had an aneurysm.
  • Lex Luthor being a manipulative asshole to Doc Ock as soon as they meet.
  • Peter and Jameson's arguments.
    Jameson: Do you know why I never gave you a vacation?
    Peter: No, Sir.
    Jameson: Because you're NOT hard-working — NOT diligent — AND there are TIMES, Peter old boy — when I'm not even sure you're a photographer!
    Peter: Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah? I've had it with you, Jameson! One minute you're Mr. Glad-Hand, the working boy's friend — the next, you put the knife in! Well, maybe that's okay for the rest of your staff — but it isn't for me! NOT ANYMORE! I'm through being stepped on! You want me, Jameson — find me!
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  • Lois flying off the handle when Clark pretends to be a wimp.
    Lois: Clark Kent! Are you going to let him do that to you? Take away the biggest story of your career? Are you?
    Clark: Ah... yes, Lois... As a matter of fact... I am.
    Lois: Ooohh! Sometimes you make me so mad I could scream!
  • MJ sees Peter and Lois talking friendly and she greets “Hiya, wolf” rather than her usual “Hi, tiger”.
  • Peter Parker asking Clark Kent where the phone booths are.
    • And then he finds out that they have been replaced with stalls.
  • That scene in which Spidey punches Supes until his hands hurt.
    Spider-Man: Oboy.
  • Supes reassemble a computer at super-speed. Of course, Spidey has to make a quip:
    Superman: Wrong. At Super Speed — using my photographic memory — I can reassemble this computer! From the smallest circuit up — in the time it takes you — to blink an eye! Done! Care to give it a try, Spider-Man?
    Spider-Man: Have you ever thought of hiring out to weddings and bar mitzvahs? With a talent like yours, you could be bigger than Henny Youngman.
  • Superman addresses several Masai warriors, thinking he is dealing with insular people. It turns out that one of them studied in London.
  • Spidey lampshades Lex's Bond villain's ways after exploring one of his super-secret lairs.
    Spider-Man: Your pal Luthor goes in for gizmos in a BIG WAY, Supes! You ask me, he's seen too many James Bond movies.
  • Luthor's spaceship has a label on a wing saying “Injustice Gang of the World”. Apparently, super-villains are dead serious about branding.
  • J. Jonah Jameson and Morgan Edge's talk:
    Jameson: Yes... eh... But you've got workers you can trust...
    Edge: What are you, a comedian?
    Jameson: Pardon?
    Edge: Take Clark Kent for example—
    Jameson: Is that a serious offer?
    Edge: You are a comedian, Jameson.
  • Doctor Octopus felt incredibly upset when he found out Luthor betrayed him before he could backstab him.
  • Spidey to Luthor: "If I didn't know better, Lex, I'd swear you don't like me!"
  • A Meta example if you are a Peter/Mary Jane shipper and/or hate One More Day. According the Marvel Wikia, Peter Parker and Mary Jane Watson are married in this universe (Earth-7642). Why is this funny? Because screw you, One More Day.