Beware of unmarked spoilers!
Team Roze
Rose Lalonde
The Only Sane Man of the kids group. For whatever reason, recently she experienced an event she calls "the Corruption", which, in her view, completely ruined the universe, and therefore strives to make it "normal" again. Her Chumhandle is testacleTheorist [TT] and her Land is the Land of Light and Froges (sic).
Known to others as Roze Lallonk.
- Adaptational Badass: While her original class, Seer of Light, was notable for the class and the aspect matching up extremely well, here she is a Lord of Space. The lord is a master class that stands head and shoulders above normal ones, and space is one of the two most fundamental aspects of Sburb. To put this into context, the canon characters with a similar classpect are Caliborn and Calliope. Caliborn grows up to be Lord English and Alt. Calliope destroys the green sun.
- Eldritch Abomination: Implied to be a Last Guardian, a being with incredible temporal distortion abilities.
- Flat "What": Rose’s response to Hecka Jef telling her "a mothn ago we took dabe to washigon to live with jhon, his new daddy".
- Heroic BSoD: Learning that she was corrupted as a baby causes her to freak out.
- Knight Templar: In her quest to return the world to "normal", she doesn't care that it would also destroy the corrupted characters and their world. For all the corrupted characters know, "Roze" suddenly started talking differently and decided she wanted to kill them all just because they don't look or act like her.
- Lust Object: Jhon wants to have s*x with her.
- My New Gift Is Lame: She receives a kidney as a gift from Jhon. Naturally, she doesn’t like it very much.
- Only Sane by Comparison: Rose initially snarks at the shenanigans of the uncorrupted characters, but being surrounded by a bunch of barely coherent, poorly drawn, sex-obsessed parodies of her former friends slowly causes her to see them less like people, and she makes it her ultimate mission to return her world to normal, no matter the cost.
- Uniformity Exception: Rose is the only Beta Kid unaffected by Stylistic Suck.
Jack Noir
That joke is less funny when every person on the god damned planet acts like the Droll.
A Dersite Agent who is the only uncorrupted carapacian on Durst. He joins forces with Roze after learning she's not affected by Stylistic Suck.
Known to others as Jagk Nore.
- Even Evil Has Standards:You would never hurt an innocent knife. Or a guilty one, such as your own, for that matter.
- Played a little bit straighter later when he realizes he asked the other agents to assassinate Rose's friends, he tries to call it off... because he doesn't want to upset someone as powerful as Rose and lose their alliance.
- Heel–Face Turn: Becomes allies with Rose after they both discover that the other is sane.
- Pragmatic Villainy: While he still retains his bloodthirsty personality, he's pragmatic enough to form an alliance with Rose (who he'd normally try to kill) after discovering she's uncorrupted like him.
- Uniformity Exception: Jack is one of the few characters (and the only Carapacian) unaffected by Stylistic Suck.
Jhon Ebgret
A farely aberage boy livving in sup urban Washigon with dad and its the birthday. His Chumhandle is echoBiologest [EB] and his Land is the Land of Dollers (sic) and Danger.
- Ax-Crazy.
- Jhon asks his dad to give him a hand. He does. Literally.
- Jhon builds a roller coaster in his back yard and makes it deliberately faulty. He explicitly states making it crash is what makes it fun in the first place.
- Jhon has no qualms with using Swet Bro's dead body as a crashpad to break his fall.
- Jhon takes a selfie with the severed finger of Swet Bro, before casually remarking that he killed him when Dabe asks why the rest of Swet Bro’s body is not attached.
- Decoy Protagonist: Even though he's the first character we see and the main character of the original Homestuck, this is unarguably Rose's story.
- Disproportionate Retribution: Jhon forces Dabe to stand in the corner without clothes all because he did not like the present that Dabe gave him.
- Extreme Doormat: Only when he's talking to Vrasky.
- I'm a Humanitarian: Eats a cake made out of Swet Bro's body.
- Jerkass: Has no self control, only thinks of himself and his various needs, and is a danger to the people around him.
- Smart Ball: Suddenly able to predict the trajectory of his roller coaster as it flies, despite being shown trying to do things such as feed his posters and shake pieces of ham in the air in earlier pages.
- Refusal of the Call: In this continuity he refused to play Sburb because it looked too complicated, leading to Hecka Jef playing the game with Rose instead.
- Troubling Unchildlike Behavior:
- Despite apparently being 13 years old, the first thing he says during the pesterlog with Rose/Rose is “hi TT i just turne 13 today so can we have s*x??”
- Starts removing his clothes once he sees Rose/Rose in “Act 3nd”.
- Whatever this is.
- And this.
- What the Hell, Hero?: Rose's reaction when Jhon just gives up on playing Sburb to save her life so he could play Rollercoaster Tycoon.
Bg'ogubmom'ibulsprite
Rose's mother and Bg'ogbbglog'ybul, fused into one sprite. After Rose's mom dies from being run over by a Dersite shuttle, she is fused with Bg'ogbbglog'ybulsprite to help Rose win her session.
- All-Powerful Bystander: She's the leader of the horrer terrers with all the power that comes with it... but due to being a sprite, she's content being Rose's Exposition Fairy. It's justified because not only does her love for Jhon frequently distract her, but the almighty power of the horrer terrers can't save them from Lord English.
- Heroic Sacrifice: Momi saves Rose from being run over by a Dersite shuttle by pushing her aside to take her place.
- What Does She See in Him?: Completely in love with Jhon Ebgret, a relationship that heavily disgusts Rose for a wide variety of reasons.
Dabe Stidrer
John's "son". A wimpy boy who frequently cries and is seen naked.
- Adaptational Wimp: Here, Dabe is perpetually submissive to Jhon and cries often.
- Happiness in Slavery: Jhon abuses Dabe and treats him as a slave. Dabe doesn't mind this at all.
- Naked People Are Funny: Jhon forces him to stand in the corner with no clothes, and he remains naked for much of the comic. He's later forced by Jhon to wear a bee suit, something he is not happy about.
- Prone to Tears: A defining trait of his.
Hrates Bocars
An agent of Durst who joins with Hecka Jef.- Defecting for Love: Not for his own love, but he's such a Shipper on Deck that he runs away with Dabe to reunite him with Jhon.
- Shipper on Deck: For Jhon/Dabe.
Rubs Juice
An agent of Durst.- Shout-Out: His name references one of the Twitter handles of RJ Lake, one of the musicians who contributed to Homestuck.
Jaed Hardly
Her Chumhandle is garbageGothic [GG].
- Bestiality Is Depraved: Makes out with her own dog.
- Flanderization: Jaed's other traits are deliberately erased and her furry fascinations are exaggerated.
- Flat Character: She's a furry. That's pretty much it.
- God Save Us from the Queen!: The second she becomes ruler of Prostit, she forces the people to dress up in animal ears, and jails the civilians that refuse to comply.
- Killed Off for Real: Dies in Verticle Movements after getting overwhelmed by Fresh Dark Germysprit's powers.
Team Hecka
Heckacious Jeferey
The mystery player in the Sburb session. He and Swet Bro were originally going to play Sburb together, but when Jhon killed Swet Bro, Hecka joined the game to exact revenge on his killer. His Chumhandle is anonamousVengance [AV] and his Land is the Land of Darknes (sic) and Ruses.
- Adaptational Name Change: From Hella Jeff to Hecka Jef.
- Bash Brothers: With Femorafreack.
- Hero Antagonist: Due to him forming a grudge against Rose (for wanting to save Jhon), either he or she is one.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: Everyone either calls him Hecka Jef or Hecka, rather than his surprisingly preppier real name Heckacious Jeferey.
- Revenge: Hecka Jef has sworn to take revenge on Jhon for killing Swet Bro.
- Time Master: SBURB categorizes him as a Muse of Time.
- Walking Spoiler: Parodied, as the first act takes great pains to hide his identity.
- Wholesome Crossdresser: He wears his Muse of Time robe quite well.
- Ascended Extra: From an extremely minor character in Homestuck to one of the major supporting characters.
- Bash Brothers: With Hecka Jef.
- Cool Shades: Part of his outfit as a cop.
- Super Cop: When he finds the illegal roller coaster Jhon made, he has no problem driving his car from under a meteor, using the track as a ramp, and landing on a flying airplane when he falls short. Afterwards, he immediately continues the chase by seeking another method to pursue Jhon.
- Even though he's a badass there's no denying he's terrible at his job, though.
- An Arm and a Leg: Jhon cuts off his hand to prevent him from taking Jhon's mail.
- Love Martyr: He gets his hand cut off by Jhon and doesn't even complain, not even when Jhon remarks that his incapacitated father is lazy for almost bleeding out.
- Official Couple: With the Dacronian Dignity.
Dacronian Dignity
An Agent of Durst who falls in love with Dadd.- Adaptational Personality Change: Like all corrupted characters, DD goes from a stone-cold, classy killer to an incredibly gullible and infantile idiot who falls in love with the guy he was sent to kill.
- Defecting for Love: Jack sends him to "take care" of Dadd, but due to a combination of Literal-Minded stupidity and general stupidity, he falls in love with Dadd and stops taking Jack's orders.
- In Love with the Mark: Only he never comprehended he was supposed to kill said mark, so now they're husbands.
- Official Couple: With Dadd.
Fresh Dark Germy³sprite
Formerly Germy, Fresh Jimmy and the Whyte Quen, these three have been fused into one being due to sprite shenanigans.- Casting a Shadow: After getting access to both of the rings, they gain the powers of the horrer terrers.
- From Nobody to Nightmare: One was just a regular guy before getting access to the knowledge of a Sprite, one was the quen of Prostit who got desposed, and one was just a regular bug stand manager. All three of them become prototyped twofold twice and gain access to the dark powers of the horror terrers.
- Fusion Dance: Of the Whyte Quen, Germy and Fresh Jimmy.
- Jive Turkey: This manner of speaking tends to come from their Fresh Jimmy half.
- Pronoun Trouble: When confronting the Blapck Quen, they temporarily get confused about their own gender because they're comprised of two men and a woman.FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: JUST COME FITE ME LIKE A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: I MEAN WONAN
FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: UMMMMMM
FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: WHAT GANDER ARE YOU IF YOUR QUEN AND ALSO GERMY?
FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: WAIT
FRESH WHYTE GERMYSPRITE: WHAT GENDRER AM I?????????? - Took a Level in Badass: By the time of Verticle Movements, they are in posession of both of the rings.
- Heroic Seductress: She uses the technique of Ass Distaction in battle so she can distract a bunch of imps. The second time she uses it on Rose, it doesn't go so well for her.
- Killed Off for Real: Vaporized by Rose.
SGRUB Players
- Characters Dropping Like Flies: The trolls reveal to Rose that the Demons of Color and Darkness have been slowly killing them off one by one, and they don't have much time left.
- Noodle Incident: For whatever reason, their Sgrub logo (and therefore, Door to the Ultimate Reward) only has ten squares, meaning only ten players.
Kraket Vantage
An incredibly angry troll.- Foe Romance Subtext: With Hecka, first getting flustered after Hecka's declaration of hate, and then later declaring to Rose that he'd like to "hates*x" him.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's angry and mean towards his friends, but in his "The Reason You Suck" Speech towards Vrasky, he calls her out for treating them all like garbage. ...Except Eridumb, who he thinks deserved it.
- Not His Sled: Kraket is not a Knight of Blood, but instead a Night of Rage. He demonstrates his classpect when convincing the trolls to finally stand up to Vrasky.
Dabros Nimtram
- Butt-Monkey: Nobody treats him with respect, and Kraket ultimately kills him just to use his computer.
- Killed Off for Real: Decapitated twice, once by Vrasky and then by Kraket.
Terexi Pypes
Her Chumhandle is gelloCAlibater [GC].
Gametez Maraca
- Single-Issue Wonk: Only seems to care about "mIrAcLeS".
Equihorse Zahcok
- Single-Issue Wonk: Only seems to care about "hornse%" [sic].
Petpeta Legion
Kanaya Maryam
And The Fact That You Repeatedly Insist That You Are "Normal" For No Obvious Reason Makes Me Highly Suspicious Of Your Sanity But For The Time Being I Will Attribute Your Quirk To A Simple Inferiority Complex
An unusual troll who seems to be one of the few characters not affected by Stylistic Suck. Her troltag is grinAudacious [GA] and her Land is the Land of Rayes and Froges.
Known to others as Papaya Lesbyam.
- Flanderization: Papaya is single-mindedly obsessed with girls, kissing and kissing girls.
- Only Sane Man: Among the trols, though G0dhead Aradead may also qualify.
- Tomato in the Mirror: Like Rose, Kanaya was previously corrupted but has no memory of it.
- Your Days Are Numbered: When messaging Rose after Verticle Movements, she admits the demons are slowly making their way to her, and she only has around twenty or thirty minutes until they arrive.
Aradead Megadie/G0dhead Aradead/G0dhead Aradia
A ghostly troll who was killed by Vrasky prior to entering the session. Her troltag is alpacalipsArise [AA] and she has no land, due to not being a player in the first place.
- A Form You Are Comfortable With: After becoming the essence of the universe itself, she uses her G0dhead form to be tangible enough to communicate to the reader. When she decides to observe her friends' session, she instead takes an Enhanced form.
- Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence: And how. She literally ascends not just the boundries of the comic, but the very plane of fiction in general. She ascends so far that she managed to ascend past the Fourth Wall and into our universe as a black hole.
- Meaningful Rename: After fusing with several kernelsprites in a row, she decides to call herself Aradia Megido.
- Our Wormholes Are Different: While technically a black hole, she functions more like a wormhole. Anything or anyone sucked into her event horizen becomes fictional, with absolutely no way to ever escape.
- Fourth-Wall Observer: Growing large enough to observe reality allowed her to understand the fourth wall between our universe and fiction, but as she notes, observing is all she can really do. After all, she can't exactly break the real fourth wall since o's still writing her.
- Fusion Dance: Exaggerated. At first, fusing with Vrasky's sprit turns her into essentially a trol with an 8-ball for a head. Then her quest for knowledge causes her to prototype with other people's sprits until she's become one with every sprit in the universe.
- Meaningful Name: For a trol that spends most of her time in the comic as a ghost, her name can't be any more appropriate.
- Mythology Gag: "G0dhead Aradead" is a reference to Godhead Pickle Inspector from Problem Sleuth.
- Single-Issue Wonk: Her obsession with ghosts leads her to prototype herself with every kernelsprite so she can look even more ghostly. When she attains even more knowledge due to her prototypings, it stops being an issue.
- The Smurfette Principle: She becomes the comic's first (and so far only) whyte words girl.
- Walking Spoiler: Pretty much everything related to Aradead is some kind of spoiler.
Eridumb Ambora
- Abhorrent Admirer: Vies for the affection of every other troll, much to their chagrin.
Fefieri Pepsis
Sollecks Copter
- Bestiality Is Depraved: Sollecks: F*ck bees.
- Driven to Madness: Happens to him when he realises that the only thing he can ever think of is bees.
- Driven to Suicide: He tries to kill himself by falling. (note that it does not work, and he gets “alien abducted” soon after)
- Flat Character: His only defining trait is liking bees.
Vrasky Sekret
Vrasky Sekret is the daddie of everyone in the troll session. Cruel and dominating, she is single-mindedly obsessed with being relevant. Her troltag is acranidGrid [AG] and her Land is the Land of Joojoos and Vrasky.
- Attention Whore: Hoo boy. Vrasky hates it when the attention goes away from her, and the only reason why she got into contact with the Final Agent is because he said he could make her even more relevant than she already was.
- Berserk Button: When others fail to listen to her or regard her supposed "importance".
- Can't Take Criticism: When Kraket calls her out for what she's done to them, she responds by kicking him in the face and siccing Equihorse on him.
- Caps Lock: Constantly types with lots of capital letters.
- Composite Character: Vrasky takes over Snoman's role in place of the troll session Blapck Quen.
- Control Freak: Obsessively monitors the lives of her subs so she can punish them for the slightest error.
- Character Catchphrase: "I AM V8RY IM8ORT8ANT"
- Dominatrix: She's everyone's daddy, and she's not afraid to enforce that rule. If she catches wind of anyone being "very na8ghty", she'll be right there to punish them.
- Fat Bitch: O has drawn her with multiple double chins, and "bitch" is an understatement when it comes to her behavior.
- Flanderization: Vriska's canon Inferiority Superiority Complex is warped into Vrasky's obsession with being "IM8ORT8NT" above all else.
- It's All About Me: Oh yeah. If she ever does anything nice for anybody, it's purely out of self-interest.
- Large Ham: She tends to be extremely dramatic, as seen in her introduction.
- Monstrous Cannibalism: She eats a young troll.
- Narcissist: She thinks herself to be the definition of relevant, and constantly talks about how important she is.
- No Indoor Voice: Vrasky constantly shouts at others and uses an abundance of exclamation marks.
- Perpetual Frowner: Her default expression is an open-mouthed scowl that never lets up.
Other Humans
Swet Bro
Hecka Jef's best friend, who suffers a tragic death by pickaxe mere pages into the story.- We Hardly Knew Ye: Killed by Jhon shortly after his debut.
Obana
The 44th president of the United States of America, now an ectobiological paradox clone baby.- Enfant Terrible: Literally, as he became a tyrant president at least thirty minutes after he was born.
- President Evil: Immediately ruins the economy after arriving on Jhons planet.
Exiles
Waynerd Vagibong/Warwarwy Villain
The Biig Man/Billards Maniak
A popular basketball player, now roaming the earth years in the future.- Demonic Possession: He's currently being used a vessel for Lord English.
- Eye Scream: Stabs his own eyes after looking into those of Lil Cal.
Spdaes Sleck
The murderous leader of the Midight Crewd, now wandering the earth as an exile.- Ax-Crazy: He skins Itchy alive for a disguise, and later on kills Rubs Juice for flirting with Clover. It says a lot that even the Felt are shocked by Sleck's depravity.
- Establishing Character Moment: One of the first commands given to him to stab his knife with his other knife. Unlike Jack, Sleck obliges, giving the reader the first clue that this version of Slick is way more Ax-Crazy than his canon counterpart.
- Platonic Life-Partners: With Kraket.
Carapacians
Blapck Quen
Blapck Kink & Whyte Kink
The kinks of Prostit and Durst.- The Dividual: They're more or less interchangeable.
- Killed Off for Real: In the humans' session, their deaths in the doomed timeline are caused by Prostit crashing into the Battlefield. In the current timeline, they are killed by WV's army. In the troll session, the Blapck Kink kills the Whyte Kink, and Vrasky finishes off the Blapck Kink.
Authority Regulator?
The Authority Regulator, now being used as a vessel for the horrer terrers.Midight Crewd
The Felt
whyte wordes guy/Doc Scratch
An "excellent host" whom you know well from Homestuck.- Exact Words: Noted by Crowbar, who comments that whatever Scratch says is always true, but vague enough to have a billion different meanings behind it. For example, when he asked about if they would ever be able to return to the uncorrupted reality, Scratch responded "That reality does not exist."But of course that could mean twenty different things, and he knows it. Was it destroyed? Does it not exist yet? Does it not exist in this timeline? Is it actually just a figment of your imagination?
- Fourth-Wall Observer: Like in Homestuck, he talks directly to the reader, who is also a physical presence within the comic.
- The Omniscient: He knows everything. He even knows about the things that happened to him in Homestuck.
Lord Spanish/English
The Felt
A group of mobsters under the employ of Lord English, who slowly die over the course of the Intermishin. Notable for nearly all of them being uncorrupted.
For information on Snoman, see Vrasky Sekret's folder.
- Characters Dropping Like Flies: Believe it or not, the Midight Crewd is able to kill them off faster than the Midnight Crew ever did.
- Gotta Kill 'Em All: Spdaes makes it his mission to kill them because they destroyed his underground horse-racing operation.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Crowbar and Stitch are both disgusted by Sleck skinning Itchy alive for a disguise.
- Uniformity Exception: Inverted: All of them are uncorrupted save for Snowman.
- Too Dumb to Live: Itchy literally runs into Sleck's knife and dies.
- The Unreveal: Clover is aware of the cause of the corruption, but Sleck kills him before he could muse over the answer.
Others
Rad Timmy/Sad Timmy
A cool consort with a nice hat.- Heroic Sacrifice: Takes a missile for Jhon so he can god tier.
- Meaningful Rename: Started out as Rad Timmy thanks to his sweet hat. He considers calling himself just Timmy when he gets a significantly less cool hat to replace it, but all the teasing he got over it eventually made him miserable enough to become Sad Timmy.
whyte wordes guy 2/Final Agent
- Establishing Character Moment: When o asks Final Agent to take over the narration for them, Final Agent flips out and yells "What am I, your goddamn babysitter?", quickly establishing him as Doc Scratch's opposite.
- Hypocrite: He derides Doc Scratch for kidnapping and locking up the Handmaid, but Scratch points out he also has locked the Condesce away. Final Agent dismisses it, saying she deserved it.
- The Man Behind the Man: Almost all of the bad stuff Daddy Vrasky did (including the death of almost all Trolls) can be backtracked to him, since he's the one who gave the previously mentioned task to Vrasky and made her more powerful.
- Purple Is Powerful: He lives on Harold's purple moon, wears a purple suit, and talks to the reader in his all purple room.
- Sibling Yin-Yang: He's much more blunt and profane than his "brother" Doc Scratch.
- Canon Immigrant: He was first made by the Cool And New Music Team for The Hous Swich Places, a fangame parodying Hiveswap.
- Bound and Gagged: Doc Scratch keeps him in his trunk for reasons unknown.
- Author Avatar: Whenever o makes a physical appearance, they portray themselves through Hella Jeff. Although Final Agent hints that he is the original and the real o is the fictional o's projection into our reality.
- Lemony Narrator: They frequently slip their opinions towards the story and characters into all narration. They're biased towards Hecka Jef and against Rose.
- One-Letter Name: It's just 'o'. Yes, the lowercase is a part of their name.