Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Movies / Funny

Main Index | Saiyan Saga | Namek/Freeza Saga | Androids/Cell Saga | Movies

open/close all folders

01. Dead Zone Abridged

Note: This is not to be confused with the pre-TFS Dead Zone Abridged.

Garlic Jr realizing that the kid his minions kidnapped is the son of Son Goku, strongest man on Earth.
Garlic: Oh god, your father's Goku. (Beat) Oh my GOD, you morons stole Goku's kid?! How? How did you steal Goku's kid?!
Cinnamon: Well, first we beat up his wife...
Garlic: Oh my shit.
Goku isn't allowed to swear.
Goku: Maybe they just want a good old-fashioned Goku fanny-whupping!
Bulma: "Fanny"?
Goku: Chi-chi doesn't like us to swear.
Bulma: Butt isn't a swear.
Goku: ... The HFIL you talkin' about?
"... Son of a bitch just ate my pears."
The dragon is amazed that someone just went straight ahead and wished for immortality.
Shenron: Wow, I can't remember the last time someone actually nutted up and asked for that. Congrats! Can't wait to hear how you f**k this up.
The glorious amount of Lampshade Hanging. From trying to kill Piccolo to Garlic's immortality, they never miss an opportunity.
- The discussion of how they brought Gohan in.
  Garlic Jr.: So let me get this straight. I send you shipdits off to find me a Dragon Ball, and you bring back a toddler.
  Pepper: Well, we did bring back the Dragon Ball.
  Garlic Jr.: And a toddler. Did you try, I don't know, taking off the hat?
  Cinnamon: Well, we thought about it on the way back, but it really brings the whole Chinese prince look together.
  Ginger: And he's your size. You can rock that shit!
  Garlic Jr.: ... Fair enough.
  - Even earlier there was a conversation between Ginger and Chi-chi about kidnapping her son when he really just wants the dragon ball. To Ginger, though, it just chalks up to For the Evulz.
    Chi-Chi: You just want the dragon ball, right?
    Ginger: Don't question my f*ckin' methods! F*ck it, I'm taking your dad! (struggles to pick him up, then gives up) He's a f*ckin fatass! Forget it!
- Then there's this gem between Kami and Popo:
  Kami: Mr. Popo! I believe... that Piccolo may have been slain!
  Popo: ... I think you'd know if he were. You still there?
  Kami: Yes.
  Popo: Then he ain't dead, is he, Drama Queen?
- Kami and Garlic Jr. talk about how he tried to have him killed.
  Garlic Jr.: So, Kami, mad that I tried to have you killed?
  Kami: More confused that you'd target Piccolo instead of me.
- Garlic's immortality (granted after Piccolo's "death")
  Kami: Wait, so you tried to have me killed, then you used the Dragon Balls.
  Garlic Jr.: Huh, what? Yeah, why? *Beat* Oh, shit. Wow I dodged a bullet on that one! Thank god my minions are so incompetent!
- Then Goku points this out to the minions!
  Ginger: Oh, wow, yeah! Thank god we're incompetent!
Krillin getting pissed on by a hungover Gohan.
Krillin trying to dodge the rubble falling from the ceiling to the tune of Tetris while saying "crap!" in time with the notes.
- Which is a nice and subtle tip to the pre-TFS version, where Krillin referenced the game during the same scene.
- And on Namek when Vegeta kills Burter and beats a tune on him Krillin recognizes it as the Tetris theme.
Garlic Jr. gets the last Dragon Balls from his cohorts.
Garlic Jr.: Gotta say, I'm sort of impressed. How'd you find them so fast?
Ginger: Prize in a high-stakes poker game!
Garlic Jr.: Wow. Never thought you had a poker face.
Ginger: Never said I played!
Garlic Jr.: Once again, fair enough.
Goku's obsession with finding the meatery.
The ending. It was all Krillin pitching the idea as a movie to Nappa, explaining the numerous plot holes and inconsistencies as Krillin being Krillin.
Nappa: First question: why would he summon the Dead Zone? The only thing that could defeat him?
Krillin: OK, I wrote myself into a corner with that whole immortality thing. Pretty much regretted it immediately after.
Nappa: Second question, and I mean no offense... why exactly were you there?
Krillin: I do bring a certain humanistic edge to the setting.
Nappa: And why did you write yourself getting peed on?
Krillin: The better question is — how much would you pay me to get peed on?
Nappa: ... You're gonna go far in this business!
- The "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue afterwards, reveals that while idea was made into a high-grossing movie, Nappa put together the contract that he had Krillin sign in a such way that Krillin got screwed out of any credit, payment, and royalties. He continues to live in Kame House, "as poor as the day he was born".
- And the name of the movie itself is "Skygina".
Garlic Jr. boasts that he's immortal and wonders what a kid can do. Gohan screams and Garlic Jr. falls into the Dead Zone with a simple "Aah".
Gohan's Mushroom Samba from the apple he steals in the court yard.
Cinnamon: Oh balls... Well, I hope you packed your bags kid, cause you're about to go on a triiiiiip...
Gohan: (spaces out)
When the minions have been taken care of.
Ginger: What a... douchebag.
- In the Pre-Team Four Star version (by Neighborhood Cluck Productions), "Ginger" had his name changed to "Douchebag," and would constantly reference this.
This exchange, when Ginger and Cinnamon produce some swords from their limbs:
Goku: Oh, come on you guys, that's not fair! I can't pull swords out of my body!
Cinnamon: STAND STILL AND YOU WILL!
Soon after Garlic Jr. enters in his bulky Super Form he charges at Goku and Piccolo, you can hear the sound of a train as Garlic Jr. rushes them down.
Garlic Jr.: CHOO-CHOO! (grabs Goku) PAIN TRAIN IS COMING!! (grabs Piccolo)
Goku: Hey Piccolo!
Garlic Jr.: (crashes through a wall to outside) Next stop: ROCK BOTTOM!! (slams both into the ground)
Goku: (muffled) I get it...
This exchange between Kami and Garlic Jr. when the latter summons the dead zone.
Garlic Jr.: This is the dead zone. The same dimension you banished my father to, Kami.
Kami: So, is that how your father receives conjugal visits?!
Garlic Jr.: Eat a dick, you wrinkled green dustbin!
Garlic Jr.'s extremely out-of-context line here:
Garlic Jr.: EVERYONE'S GETTING SUCKED TODAY!
The "linner" gag, eventually coming full circle at the end:
Goku: Now let's go han Gohome. It's almost time for dik fast.
One of the Spice Boys getting behind Goku is met with a "STRANGER DANGER!" and a Power Pole to the gut.
Ginger: That shit gets longer?!
Cinnamon: (weakly) Oh, yeah it does!
- Which leads to this line:
  Cinnamon: Friggin' hell. Last time I take on a guy with a pole that big.
When Goku comes to Kami's rescue:
Goku: Kami, stay here and don't move!
Kami: I swear if I didn't know you, I'd call you a smartass.
Piccolo's last line.
Piccolo: ... I'm gonna steal that kid.
The Spice Boys introduce themselves:
Goku: Oh man. I left in such a hurry, I accidentally skipped lunch. Maybe this place has a cafeteria! ... No, it's a castle. ... A meatery?
Ginger: You want food?! We could hook you up! How 'bout some motherf**king Ginger!
Cinnamon: Or maybe some Cinnamon~!
Pepper: I got some Pepper for you! You like Pepper?
Goku: Hey, those aren't foods! Those are things you put on foods!
Ginger: Like GINGERBREAD!?
Cinnamon: OR CINNABUNS!?
Pepper: I-I've got nothing, um... (beat) ... eeeeeeeeeeeeggs!
- Even funnier is that one dub of the original movie does have the perfect name in this case... Pepperoni.
The dialogue when Goku and Piccolo take off their weighted clothing.
Goku: That's it, taking off my clothes!
Piccolo: Why did you even bring your weighted gi?
Goku: Why did you?
Piccolo: Because I don't have a house to leave them in!
Goku: Why don't you just buy a house with the Ox King's money?
Piccolo: What world do you live in?
Goku: One with a house. And a wife. And a son.
Piccolo: I really don't care for you right now.
At the beginning of the episode, when The Spice Boys attack Piccolo
Ginger: FUCK EM UP!
Cinnamon: From the front~
Pepper: To the back~
Piccolo: Oh, you better just kill me!
(sees the three of them charging ki blasts to do exactly that)
Piccolo: Shit.
Kami's face first entrance into Garlic Jr's castle was later determined by Kaiser and Lani to be a result of Kami determining off-screen that he needed to intervene and Popo essentially going "A'ight, bet" and throwing him off the lookout like a javelin.

02. The World's Strongest

Ooolong's Imagine Spot of what he's planning to use the Dragon Balls for. And what he tells Gohan.
Oolong: Justice.
Gohan: What?
Oolong: Panties. Gonna wish for panties.
Gohan: Oh, Oolong, you're incorrigible.
- And when the dragonballs are used before he can get them…
  Oolong: No! My Schwein-Staffel!
  - As well as...
    Oolong: ... Oh, oink me in the alps...
Gohan gets pummeled by Bio-Men. Oolong just shouts "Get 'im, Gohan!", despite it being clear that Gohan's out of his league.
Upon being ambushed by the Bio-Men, Piccolo tells Gohan, laying in the snow, to be careful around "the explode-y ones", only to be interrupted by Yamcha's sudden arrival. He's almost immediately suicide-bombed by a Bio-Man. (Though he seems to survive this time, given his pained whimpers)
The Bio-Men continually getting mistaken for Saibamen, to the point even Kochin makes the mistake, and tells them to shut up as they correct him.
Piccolo trying to build an ice castle. Turns out, being 90% water doesn't mix with a glacial environment. He's literally blue instead of green the second time the audience sees him.
Piccolo: (shivering from the cold) G-good. Progress on my ice castle is underway. I'll have to install central heating. Body's 90% water… AND THIS CLOAK DOES NOTHING.
Goku flat-out states that he's not Gohan's role-model, Piccolo is.
Chi-Chi: And THAT is a conversation we desperately need to have.
This little gem when Chi-Chi confronts Gohan after his little dosage of Nightmare Fuel:
Chi-Chi: Gohan… you're not on drugs, are you?
Gohan: [badly exasperated] IT WAS JUST THE ONE APPLE, MOM.
The dragon's reaction to Kochin's wish^note"Could you please melt the ice off my front-door?", following on the heels of being grateful that someone other than the Z-Warriors summoned him for a change.
Kochin: RISE, ETERNAL DRAGON! ... did I do it right? I hope I did it right... [Dragon Balls flash with light as Shenron is summoned… and the ice ridge they're on collapses] Oh shit... oh shit oh shit oh shit! Is that bad? Can they break?!
(Shenron appears)
Shenron: Okay, what do you assholes want this ti— (sees Kochin) ... Oh. OH! [clears throat] I AM THE ETERNAL DRAGON. MAKE YOUR WISH AND I SHALL GRANT IT…
- Once Kochin has gotten his wish and the lair has risen above the water, he briefly stops his dramatic monologue, wondering if he forgot his keys at Slump's place.
- At the end, the Z-Warriors do summon him. Shenron just gives up and asks who died.
Turns out pigs can't cook brownies:
Oolong: (coughing and sporting red eyes) Great, now my entire evening's gonna be spent trying to find something to watch on Netflix!
(The smoke goes upstairs)
Roshi: THOSE BETTER NOT BE MY BROWNIES, PIG! (coughing; a knock on the door) Oh, jeez… Turtle, could you get that? I cannot find my feet…
- The whole time they're cooking in Kame House, "Mary Jane" is playing in the background.
- The fact that Bulma's there means she's somehow in on selling the pot brownies... then the Fridge Logic hits you that she's the daughter of the richest man on Earth and she doesn't need to sell drugs to get by.
  - Also the Fridge Logic of Roshi and Oolong being completely baked, but she's unaffected, likely because she's done a lot of it.
Turtle is completely unperturbed by the Bio-Men's threats.
Bio-Men: There are six of BIO-MEN, and one of TURTLE.
Turtle: I am nine hundred and ninety-nine years old. I don't give a f*ck.
Roshi was originally sought after for being the world's strongest. But his involvement is kicked off by Oolong baking pot brownies for a potential buyer... and they all assume Kochin is said buyer.
Roshi: (after waylaying the Bio-Men) I do not hold back when I am toasted.
Goku is informed of the capture of Roshi and Piccolo, Oolong informing him that Kochin was looking for 'the world's strongest'. Goku is initially confused, because he^note hasn't been captured. Gilligan Cut to Goku on his Flying Nimbus;
Goku: There's been a terrible mistake, I've gotta fix this.
After Kochin kidnaps Bulma and Roshi, Kochin tries to put on a demonstration… and Roshi fires off his most hilariously callous line to date...
Roshi: Oh, come on! This ain't your first kidnapping!
Dr Wheelo is actually not an evil scientist… but his assistant Kochin is. And since Dr Wheelo is a Brain in a Jar, all he can do is protest as Kochin keeps doing ridiculously evil things. Even funnier is his learning just how big his brain has gotten.
Bulma: Wait, Dr. Jonathan Wheelo, the famous biologist and cancer researcher? Your breakthroughs changed the entire landscape of the field!
Dr. Wheelo: Oh, thank you, thank you. Can I have your body?
Bulma: What?! No!
Dr. Wheelo: Oh! I'm so sorry; not sexually; I-I mean your actual physical body… to put my brain in.
Bulma: Still, no!
Dr. Wheelo: Oh, come on! It's been fifty years! I suddenly got sick one day—lung cancer, ironically—and that one (Kochin shoots a Death Glare over his shoulder) decides to put me in stasis. Next thing I know, he's gone. To get groceries… for fifty years. WHICH IS JUST MY FATHER ALL OVER AGAIN.
Bulma: Okay, well, I'm sorry and all, but there's no way I'd agree to that. Not that you'd fit anyway.
Dr. Wheelo: WHY…
Kochin: Oh, your Grey Matter seems to have absorbed a li-ttle bit of the embalming fluid that you're stored in.
Dr. Wheelo: WHAT?! How big am I?!
Bulma: I'd say… a Golden Retriever.
Dr. Wheelo: But a Golden Retriever's brain is small!
Bulma: No, like... the size of a Golden Retriever.
Dr. Wheelo: Kochin, what the hell, man?!
Kochin: Oh, calm down, sir.
Dr. Wheelo: I can't fit in a body like this!
Kochin: Don't worry about it! Sometimes brain surgery is a little more art than science...
Dr. Wheelo: You're thinking of baking!
Kochin: …I might be thinking of baking.
- When Bulma points out that Goku is far stronger than Roshi, Wheelo asks whether his brain would fit.
  Bulma: To be fair, there's probably a vacancy.
- His reaction to the Death Spheres in particular sells it.
  Dr. Wheelo: ... Kochin.
  Kochin: Yes?
  Dr. Wheelo: WHAT.
- And then Goku inevitably destroys them all...
  Kochin: Aaaaaand there goes fifty billion zeni.
  Dr. Wheelo: HOW much?!
- And later...
  Gohan: Oh, my goodness! Is that a brain? ...Why is it the size of a Greyhound?
  Wheelo: The BUS!?
Wheelo is horrified at what Kochin did to the "Bio-Warriors", as they were supposed to be cute, cuddly creatures "that help the elderly" named "Zap-Zap", "Blub-Blub" and "Brr", but instead made into "Electrocutioner", "Bouncy Butcher", and "Freezer" (Kochin's still fighting over the trademark to the last name, though).
- The original names and their being switched out are a nod to the original abridging of the movie from before TFS was fully formed, though only the onomatopoeia-style names were reused.
- Even better, in the subtitles, "Bouncy Butcher" and "Electrocutioner" are trademarked. (Freezer, however, is not.)
- Goku's fight with Blub-Blub reminds him of how Gohan was conceived:
  "Oh God, oh no, ew-ew-eww, it's moist! Why is it moist? (breaks free) Okay, get it together. Just gotta go in there and do it! Just like with Chi-Chi. (Blub-Blub inflates) Just like with Chi-Chi."
- And when Goku winds up killing "Blub-Blub" by pushing a hole through his torso, Wheelo is suitably depressed over it, lamenting that he "was made for hugs." Made even worse when Kochin reveals that all of the Bio-Warriors are fully sentient. This completely unexpected and brutal subversion of What Measure Is a Mook?, as well as the implication that Kochin probably implemented those feelings For the Evulz, make the whole situation either tragic or darkly hilarious.
  Kochin: With all their wants, and needs… and a crippling fear of death!
  Blub-Blub: So dark… and cold… (Cries pitiably, with a pool of tears forming around his head face-down on the floor, as Bulma and Wheelo watch in Stunned Silence)
  Wheelo: Blub-Blub, no…
- Goku decks Freezer in the schnozz. And awkwardly tries to apologize afterward.
  Goku: I swear, Imma deck the heck outta the next guy I see. (Freezer appears, Goku instantly punches him)
  Freezer: OW! F**K! SHIT!
  Goku: O-oh gosh, I'm sorry!
  Freezer: What the f**k man?!
  Goku: D-do you need some ice?
  Freezer: OH YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY!? Zapps, get in here, I-I need a sec...
  Electrocutioner: I'm The Electrocutioner now!
  Freezer: THEN ELECTROCUTIONATE HIM, I DON'T GIVE A F**K!
Kochin attempts to have Goku finished off.
Kochin: Now, Freezer, preserve the goods!
(Freezer roars as he fires biting frost at Goku, slowly encasing him in ice)
Goku: Wait. Freezer? Why does that sound familiar— (the ice reaches his… you-know-what) Oh, God, IT'S LIKE THE WORST PART OF GETTING INTO A POOL TIMES A THOUSAND!
When Goku's still frozen in ice, Krillin and Gohan show up to save him… and get promptly curbstomped, to which he simply replies to with a sigh and an eye roll. Guess even a Blood Knight gets tired of having to fight everyone by himself.
Goku: (Deep sigh) …Kaioken.
After Goku effortlessly dispatches Electrocutioner and Freezer:
Kochin: Man, your new body is gonna be wicked! Completely destroyed the Bio-Warriors.
Wheelo: I just thought of something. Kochin, why didn't you give me one of their bodies?
Kochin: Ah, hmm… I guess you're right. See, this is why you're the brains. (snickers) …What? Too cheesy?
Wheelo: More insensitive.
Kochin: Oh, grow some thicker skin.
Wheelo: RRGH!
Bulma: … I thought it was clever.
Kochin's obsession with making sure Dr. Wheelo's new body will have a penis.
- And of course the Brick Joke - Kochin didn't use Piccolo for the new body because he doesn't have a penis.
  Dr. Wheelo: (exasperated) Why do you know that!?
  Kochin: ... (smiles)
Kochin and Gohan's For Science! vs. Science Is Bad stances (of course, Kochin is more in it For the Evulz)…
Gohan: Stop this! You are men of science! How could you commit such atrocities?
Kochin: Excuse you, mustard gas would like a word...
Gohan: Uh, excuse YOU, solar energy has something to say!
Kochin: Excuse YOU, anthrax has an opinion on that!
Gohan: (getting angrier) Excuse YOU, penicillin would like to chime in!
(Beat)
Kochin: … the atom bomb.
(Gohan screams in anger and powers up, damaging the laboratory)
Dr. Wheelo: Kochin, stop antagonizing him!
Kochin: You're right! He's incredibly strong! In fact—
Wheelo: Kochin, he is a child!
Kochin: With a penis!
Wheelo: Kochin, please!
Kochin: You're right… I should check!
When Piccolo is brought in under Kochin's control, he smacks Gohan.
Goku: DON'T YOU DARE HIT MY SON! Unless you're training him, in which case... Gohan, get back up.
Gohan: Dad, I think Dr. Wheelo's controlling him!
Wheelo: But I am a brain in a jar!
Goku: So you admit it!
Wheelo: (wearily) Kochin, please explain.
Kochin: KILL THEM ALL!
Wheelo: (sobbing) WHY?!
- When he's freed, he smacks Gohan again, this time yelling "DODGE!"
  Gohan: (thinking; sighs) Back to normal.
Instead of running from Kochin's gatling arm like in the original movie, Krillin just stands there and lets the bullets bounce off him.
Krillin: (sigh) Whatever happened to Launch?
After hitting his Rage Breaking Point, Dr. Wheelo emerges from an ice wall wearing a Mini-Mecha, to his own surprise.
Dr. Wheelo: How long have I had this?!
Kochin: Wait, you seriously never noticed the exo-body I left for you? Did you think I'd literally just leave you in a jar? What kind of monster do you think I a—
(Wheelo collapses the ground beneath Kochin for his behavior throughout the movie)
Kochin: (While falling) Fair enooooooooooough!
Goku quips that now that Dr. Wheelo has a body, he should be sorted. Wheelo immensely diagrees despite Piccolo's attempt to rationalize with him.
Dr. Wheelo: This is NOT a body! It can't taste, or smell, or touch! I am a brain trapped in an EXOSKELETON!
Piccolo: When you think about it, aren't we all jus- [Wheelo immediately slaps him unconscious in frustration]
Dr. Wheelo: NO!
The return of the "Kaio-what?" Running Gag during the fight with Wheelo.
Goku, of all people, having Surrounded by Idiots moment when his friends get beaten up easily and it's all up to him again.
Goku: All right everyone, stand back I'm gonna Kaioken him.
(cut to Gohan trying to attack and being sent flying)
Goku: That means you too Gohan.
Upon being told that he doesn't need to kill Wheelo, Goku wonders what he should do with the Spirit Bomb he's just charged up. He tries setting the unstable energy ball on the floor. Predictably, it explodes in his face.
- Just before this, as Gohan attempts to comfort the doctor, Krillin attempts to join the nonexistant fray and is slapped aside by Wheelo so offhandedly the doctor barely seems to register his presence.
Goku: (weakly) Good work team.
Upon hearing the wish for Wheelo to get a new body, Shenron muses that it's far better than the one Kochin made earlier, asking "Who summons the Eternal Dragon to melt some ICE?" Wheelo, knowing exactly what kind of person Kochin is, can only muster a quiet grunt of sympathy.
The ending theme: Kochin and the Brain.
The Stinger. Yep. Mr. Popo still is Nightmare Fuel incarnate.

03. Christmas Tree of Might

The entirety of "Christmas Tree of Might". Especially the end.
Vegeta: This is so non-canon, it hurts.
Ghost Nappa: Vegeeeeeeta! Tonight, you will be haunted by three ghoooooosts! (Appears) And they're all me. (Soon, two more Ghost Nappas show up.)
Ghost Nappas (simultaneous): Hi!
Vegeta: Goddamnit, I hate Christmas.
The "mouth present" thing.
Goku: Well, what am I getting for Christmas?
Chi-Chi: The same thing as last year, Goku.
Goku: Oh, so that thing you do with your mouth...
Chi-Chi: NOT IN FRONT OF GOHAN!
- And later...
  (Gohan is transformed into a Great Ape)
  Goku: Oh, man! If Chi-Chi finds out about this, I might not get mouth present.
The wish Krillin makes which causes the events of the special. Thank you, Krillin and thank you Shenron.
Krillin: Almighty Shenron! We called you forth to help us in this dire time! As you can see, this beautiful land full of trees and life has been burned to the ground!
Shenron: So you want me to restore life to this desolated forest?
Krillin: Hell no! I wanna Christmas Tree!
Shenron: ...You want... a tree?
Krillin: Not just any tree. The perfect Christmas Tree!
Shenron: ...Yeah... yeah, OK. I'll give you your tree... I'LL GIVE YOU THE BEST DAMN TREE YOU'VE EVER SEEN (Laughs maniacally)
Shenron's jackassness is hilarious.
Shenron: No! No way! No, not you again! HAS IT EVEN BEEN A YEAR?!
Oolong: It's been one year, 2 months and 50...
Shenron: SHUT THE HELL UP!
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell ROCK THE DRAGON, DRAGON BALL Z!
Goku's reaction to Turles' plan
King Kai:You see a group of space pirates have sought out your planet, and with it, are growing an evil, EVIL tree.
Goku: How evil?
King Kai: It's literally sucking the Christmas joy out of the entire planet.
Goku: [Gasps, completely mortified] That's DISNEY evil!
This:
Piccolo: Bitch, you look like Goku.
Turles: And you look like a Yoshi.
Piccolo: I get that. Now hand over the kid [Gohan].
Turles: You want this kid?
Piccolo: I want him!
Turles: You want this kid?
Piccolo: I want him!!
Turles: You want this kid?
Piccolo: I want him!!
Turles: You want-you want?
Piccolo: I WANT THAT KID!!
Goku singing while Chi-Chi is lecturing Gohan.
Chi-Chi: Goku, stop that or I'll deck you in the halls!
This particularly dark exchange.
Krillin: What'd you do?
Daiz: Something so evil, that I am forever on Santa's naughty list!
Yamcha: Geez! Compared to these guys, what could you have possibly-
Daiz: I raped Rudolph.
(Dramatic slow zoom into Daiz's eyes as evil laughter and the pained cries of a reindeer are heard)
Tien: Dibs on not fighting that guy.
"Did I just smash the Krampus?"
"FalalalalalalalaDIE."
"YOU NEVER WASTE FIGGY PUDDING!" *beatdown ensues*
Goku's attempt to reason with the tree.
Goku: Big tree, if you don't leave right now, I'm going to beat you up!
Yamcha: Goku, trees can't talk.
Amond: (Offscreen) Why don't you come up here and try it!?
Yamcha: Ya know what? F*** it, I don't care anymore.
Yamcha's "fight" with Cacao:
Cacao: Singing: Yamcha the Scarfaced Bandit.
Song: But do you recall, the most useless fighter of all...
Yamcha: Go to hell! (throws a Spirit Ball, which misses)
Yamcha: (trying to redirect the Spirit Ball, and still missing) Oh. Come. On. Come. On. Damn. You.
Song: Yamcha the Scarfaced Bandit, always beaten by his foes...
Cacao: Do you require assistance?
Yamcha: (still trying to redirect the Spirit Ball) Shut. Up. You. (the Spirit Ball finally hits) YES! TAKE THAT MOTHERFU- (Cacao knocks Yamcha to the ground)
Song: ...and if you saw this guy fight, you would even say he blows.
Cacao: Agreed.
Related: Yamcha the Scar Faced Bandit in full. Particularly when Krillin manages to smack talk him.
Tien has serious issues with Jinga and Beru's names, and ends up referencing DBZA Episode 16.
Jinga: Jinga!
Beru: Beru!
Jinga and Beru: The Great Jinga Beru Brothers!
Tien: You mean Jingle Bell, right?
Jinga: No, Jinga...
Beru: ...and Beru.
Tien: Noooo... Jingle. Bell.
Jinga: Jinga!
Beru: Beru!
Tien: (does Solar Flare) F**KING WEEABOOS!
Turles' rant against Christmas in front of Gohan, mainly because of the voice, the way he was speaking, and who he's quoting.
- Also the previous, nefarious misdeeds of his mooks, including raping Rudolph.
As horrible as the implications are, it just crosses so many lines it ends up on funny.
Slay: You know, you look like one of the kids I let sit on my lap once. 'Course, he was a cancer patient. Asked me if I could get rid of his cancer.
Krillin: Oh God, this is going exactly where I think it is, isn't it?
Slay: So I blew him up! No more cancer!
Krillin: God, you are one of the worst mall Santas ever! Right behind those ones that molest kids.
Slay: *Beat* So, I'm the worst mall Santa.
Krillin: Oh come on!
"Hey did anyone take care of that fire?"
Krillin: Oolong, you got that?
Oolong: I'm watching it.
(Cut to the whole forest burning down)
Krillin: I thought you said you were watching the fire?!
Oolong: I was. It was beautiful!
After Goku cuts Gohan's tail and reverts back, Goku carries him.
Goku: It's OK, Gohan. You're safe. Now go to sleep. In the morning, Santa will have brought you all your presents. And by "presents" I mean books.
Gohan: D- dang it...
Goku mistaking Turles for Vegeta, and then assuming he's a Mirror Universe clone of Goku, complete with Beard of Evil.
And the "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue.
- Goku got a "KenTacoHut"^noteKFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut from Santa... and something else from Chi-Chi.
- Chi-Chi got a GPS to keep track of Gohan... and some mouthwash.
- Gohan got books. He also got a flying dragon. But due to it being non-canon, he was not allowed to keep it.
- Krillin got a new shaver. He also got a girlfriend. But due to her being non-canon, he wasn't allowed to keep her.
- Piccolo got a water purifier and a new turban. Also, a bigger role in the next movie.
- Yamcha got a year's worth of free gasoline.
- Tien and Chiaotzu ate Chinese and watched a movie. They saw Yogi Bear in 3D. Chiaotzu is no longer allowed to pick the movies.
- Bulma got a new wardrobe. Oolong got her old panties.
- Shenron got... a restraining order.

04. Lord Slug Abridged

This exchange between Lord Slug prior to having his youth restored and an underling.
Slug: (indiscernible grumbling as he tosses Medamatcha the Dragon Radar he pilfered from Bulma)
Medamatcha: You want us to find them all in an hour?! But it's hot as balls!
Slug: (slightly discernible grumbling that sounds like "Oh, bitch bitch bitch...")
Piccolo's entrance.
Minion: OH MY GOD, ARE YOU Batman?! [promptly tossed into a searchlight]
Piccolo's interaction with Slug's minions:
Piccolo: Alright, what's your gimmick?
Doradabo : Gimmick?
Piccolo: Yeah, like the last guys, they were all misfit minions and crap, what're you?
Angira: We're just here for your planet. Though if I had to choose, I'd say I'm the pretty one.
Piccolo: Eh, 6 out of 10.
Angira: You sassy bitch.
Piccolo: That makes you the weird one with the freaky power.
Medamatcha: I can spawn mini-mes'!
Piccolo: Spectacular. And that would make you no doubt the big, tough, stupid one.
Doradabo : You take that back or I'll kill you!
Piccolo: Alright, alright, you're not tough.
Doradabo : That's better.
Gohan: Didn't you just...
Piccolo: Give him a minute.
[Doradabo thinks to himself]
Doradabo : HEY! You son of a biiiiiiiiiiitch!
[Doradabo tries to hit Piccolo, only for him to dodge and promptly hits a truck instead]
Piccolo: Now, now, that truck is not your eating disorder.
Doradabo : You're a penis!
Piccolo: So long since you've seen yours, you don't even recognize one, do ya?
[Piccolo jumps onto the roof of a store and Doradabo follows, upon which he throws a punch only for Piccolo to catch his hand, break it, and grab his arm]
Doradabo : [small voice] Please don't break my arm.
Piccolo: [deadpan] No. [breaks it]
- The truck returns in this gem delivered after Goku has been impacted into the ground like a vegetable.
  Slug: You know, there's a certain sport I excel at.
  Goku: [muffled due to being underground] What's it called?
  Slug: [plucks Goku out by the leg] Competitive BITCH TOSS! [hurls Goku into a truck]
Lord Slug gets his youth back. His response is priceless.
Slug: Lord Slug the Almighty has returned! My youth, my strength, my impeccable singing voice!
[cut to a scene involving a weather control device being launched into orbit and enveloping the Earth in a dark cloud]
Slug: I see trees of brown, and skies of black, and I think to myself, what a wonderful world!
And of course, the Running Gag regarding the movie's Recycled Script, complete with Lord Slug's own minions mistakenly referring to him as King Piccolo.
- Lord Slug kills two of his minions that made the mistake of confusing him with King Piccolo, then a third minion puts a lot of effort into making sure he absolutely knows he's talking to Lord Slug and not King Piccolo.
  Kakuja: Well, Lord Slug, it is my humble opinion, Lord Slug, that it will take three days, Lord Slug... Go Team Slug.
- The parallels are so obvious that even Goku manages to figure out the connection, culminating in him getting too lost in the similarity at the end.
  Goku: Now that I've defeated King Piccolo, I can wish back Chiaotzu, Master Roshi, and Krillin.
After Piccolo rips his own ears off in order to avoid being affected by Gohan's whistling, he keeps yelling "WHAT?!" every time he thinks someone is talking to him, even when nobody's talking back. He later combines it with the Kaio-ken Running Gag:
Goku: Kaio-ken!
Slug: Kaio—
Piccolo: WHAT?!
- It's doubly funny coupled with the fact Piccolo's Big Damn Heroes moment was accompanied by "Stone Cold" Steve Austin's theme music; later in his career, "WHAT?" became something of a catchphrase for him.
- Also comes back during the credits.
Piccolo trying to help Gohan (and not succeeding).
Piccolo: (wearily) Hey, Gohan. Gohan, you wanna do that thing? Where you get really mad and start beating the guy up ?... Gohan? ... Gohan? ... don't you f***ing ignore me.
Goku thinking it's Christmas for most of the movie. Because it's snowing!
- "I AM CHAMPION CHRISTMAS!"
Goku getting crestfallen when he realizes it's not Christmas.
Goku: I WILL STOP YOU FROM DESTROYING CHRISTMAS!!!
Slug: What are you talking about? It's July!
Goku: DON'T JULY TO ME!!! IT'S SNOWING!!!
Slug: I froze over your planet, ya mook!
Goku: WHA... but ...aww...
- The simple fact that Slug even knew about Christmas to begin with, when even his own men not knowing what Christmas even is. Not only that, he knew it enough that it's not even the month to celebrate it either.
The Running Gag featuring King Kai getting into fights with Talking Movie Bubbles dressed with a top hat quipping sarcastically begins here. Special mention goes to when Goku realizes it isn't Christmas.
Talking Movie Bubbles: Well, that's inconvenient.
King Kai: MOVIE BUBBLES, I SWEAR TO GOD! IN A TRUNK, OFF A CLIFF!
Piccolo and Nail's conversation at the beginning of the movie. (Nail is in Piccolo's head, even though he wouldn't have been at the time, but the movie doesn't really fit into continuity anyway.)
Piccolo: The Kamehameha doesn't drill things!
Nail: Last time I checked, neither do cannons.
Piccolo: That's what makes it special.
- And:
  Nail: Who's that?
  Piccolo: It's just Gohan. If you ignore it, it'll go away.
- Also:
  Nail: So you just ignore all of your problems?
  Piccolo: No, some I invite to live inside my head.
How Goku seems more worried about trivial things when landing on Iguana Street, than the actual fight.
Goku: Aw great Iguana Street, now I'm gonna get mugged. But the joke's on them! I have no mo— (gets punched through wall)
- Also a blink and you'll miss it joke, Goku gets punched through a toy store.
  Goku: Oh hey! I should bring Chi-Chi here, she'll love this place!
The Overly Long Gag where Doradabo repeatedly gets knocked off a building by Piccolo.
Doradabo : He thinks he's so great... I'mma show him! *POW!* Oh, goddammit! Alright, go for the left... he'll never see me coming for th— *POW!* Ah, he saw it coming! Fine, I'll wait down here and catch him off guard...
Piccolo: Hey, how's it going?
Doradabo : Oh, hey, I'm just waiting for that green jerk so I can surprise him!
Piccolo: Neat.
Doradabo : Yeah! He'll never see it co— Oh. [explosion]
- And shortly afterwards:
  Doradabo : All right. Look. I know we said some things... But I'll bet if we just talk to each other a little, we could become friends. Whadda ya say, high-five?
  Piccolo: [quickly] Down low.
  Doradabo : Uh—
  Piccolo: Too slow. [vaporizes Doradabo head]
Goku's song while charging the Spirit Bomb.
Goku: ♪Sun, sun, Mr. Golden Sun, kill my enemies!♪
Piccolo's master plan against Lord Slug:
Piccolo: (standing on Slug's head) Hey. Name's Piccolo. Nice to meetcha. I've got your antennae! Whatcha gonna do now?
(Slug grabs him)
Piccolo: Aha! I knew you would do that! Now for part two of my master plan! (tears off his own ears and screams in pain)
Lord Slug: What the hell is wrong with everyone on this planet!?
Medamatcha in general.
"Papa Medamatcha gonna make you his bitch!"
"What, bitch! I am talking to you! I will smack you with my dick!"
- Everything he says is hilarious.
  Medamatcha: What the hell's a Christma— [gets thrown into a ship, which then explodes] Oh, I don't give a sh*t what Christmas is now! I just know I'm going to kill it, and then my little Matchas are going to RAPE IT!
  Goku: Nobody rakes Christmas.
Squeaky Toy!Goku returns!
Slug: This is amazing!
Goku: Why does everyone laugh when they do that...? That's my ribs crushing my lungs...!
Along with the Call-Back when Lord Slug reveals himself to be a Namekian.
Goku: Hold on a minute. I know now! I know what he is! He's a-
King Kai: Do not say Yoshi!
Goku: ...I'mma still think it.
This exchange.
Popo: [hums] What?
Kami: Mr. Popo, are you torturing a cat?
Popo: Oh come on Kami, I don't torture. (quickly under his breath) Cats.
(Beat)
Jynx: Jynx! Jynx!
Popo: Bitch, shut up!
Slug's last words:
"WHY DIDN'T I WISH FOR IMMORTALITY!?!?!?"
And then we have The Stinger, when we find out that not only is Lord Slug the result of a split from Guru, but Guru is Lord Slug's EVIL half. And it was Guru's suggestion that he paid a visit to Earth.
Guru: Naiiiiil! Come and maaail this for me.
Nail: Sir, we don't have a mail service.
Guru: Naaaiil. Gather the Dragon Balls.
Slug joining the fight was funny too after killing the soldiers running away.
Krillin: [seeing Slug's goons piling back into the ship en masse] What about them?
Goku: They can live. [cue explosion from inside the ship] ...or not.
Slug: (walking out), God, we go through soldiers here like copy paper... (sees Goku and Krillin) If you're with the government or the church, get the f**k off of my property. Which, considering that I now own this rock, is effectively everything.
Krillin: Don't worry, Goku. Just sit on back and let Krillin handle this one.
[TiVO pause sound effect; cut to a TV at Capsule Corp]
Vegeta: Oh my god, this is going to be amazing! Aaand... record. (TiVO record sound effect)
(Krillin charges Lord Slug, and predictably, gets slapped out of the way)
Krillin: [getting knocked away] What possessed me to do thaaaaaaaaat?!?
Vegeta: And the Emmy goes to...
Goku: KRILLIN!
After Slug is back to his younger state, we get this gem from Goku as Slug is walking towards him:
Goku: At least he's not shooting laser eyes at me or something—
(cue Eye Beams)
Goku: (panicked) He's an X-Man!
Yajirobe appears and explains the situation to Goku.
"That meteor kicked your ass. Turns out it was fulla bad guys too, who knew."
When Slug's army disembarks the ship, the crowd, rather than reacting in fear, assumes that it's Jesus.
Crowd Member #1: What the heck do you think's inside?
Crowd Member #2: I bet it's Jesus. I'm calling Jesus. You heard it here folks, I said Jesus.
(one of Slug's soldiers steps out of the ship)
Crowd Member #1: Hi Jesus!
- And once Slug's army has disembarked the ship:
  Crowd Member #2: Look everyone, it's Jesus' death army! (Beat) Something about what I just said doesn't sound right.
  Slug Soldier: Inhabitants of Earth, prepare to be conquered in the name of Lord Slug.
  Crowd Member #1: (with a cheering crowd) We love you, Jesus!
- The fact that they are greeted by a cheering crowd really confuses the soldier:
  Slug Soldier: (incredulous laugh as he waves confusedly at the crowd) What the hell is going on? Hah! (casually, to his men) Uh, open fire.
Let's not forget when King Kai checks in with Goku:
Goku: Oh, hey King Kai. My nipples are rigid right now!
King Kai: Well that's...anyway...
Lord Slug grows to gargantuan size and begins chasing Goku around. It gets to the point where Goku is met with Slug jamming his head through a hole in a wall and staring him in the face, smiling. It's dead silent for a few seconds.
Slug: Hey.
Goku: ...Hi.
Slug: How's it goin'?
Goku: Oh, you know, still bummed it's not Christmas...
Slug: Yeah, kinda sucks.
(they remain silent for a few seconds)
Goku: (quickly cupping his hands together) Kamehame—''
Slug: (firing a laser from his mouth) HA!
After Gohan starts whistling causing enormous pain to Lord Slug, he gets enough of that and decides to blast him to kingdom come... only to hit his ship instead.
Slug: That's it! Time for the universal mute button!
(blasts at Gohan, but hits his ship instead)
Slug: (exasperated) Oh, balls. That was my ship...

05. Revenge of Cooler Abridged

An awkward moment involving Krillin's cooking:
Oolong: Wow, that smells fantastic! What's in there?
Krillin: Oh, just some essentials: carrots, potatoes, porrrrrrrrr-[looks straight at Oolong]-poise.
- Then the punchline, when Sauza spills the beans:
  Sauza: As a Space Frenchman, I must zay; I find zis food completely detestable! Ze pork is completely overcooked.
  Oolong: Rot in hell, Krillin, I almost ate that!
The fish:
Magic fish: Halt, stalwart stranger! If you let me go, I shall grant you one wish.
Goku: I wish for you to be my dinner!
(screaming and beating noises)
Goku continues to be a terrible parent:
Goku: [talking to Cooler's Armored Squadron] You get away from my food, my friend [Krillin], my two emergency foods [Oolong and Icarus], and my son! In that order.
- Then, while talking to Cooler about the latter's family:
  Goku: Well, I assure you: if I ever have a son, I'll treat him better!
Goku confronts his friends' assailants.
Sauze: Well, well! I believe zat is ze monkey we are looking for!
Goku: Wait, what did he just say?
Dore: Oi! 'e said you're the monkey we're looking for!
Goku: I... I don't-
Neiz: Reeree, reerere rerere reerere!
Goku: ...alright, just tell me who you are.
All three goons: Cooler's Armored Squadron! (strikes various poses)
Goku: ...I'm having the worst case of déjà mustard right now.
Krillin pointing out that Gohan and Goku don't need his help.
Krillin: Wait, why do you need my help? Can't Goku bench press a planet?
Gohan: Krillin, move the damn rocks!
Cooler's response to learning Freeza's dead:
Cooler: Well I sure hope somebody picks up that phone.
Sauza: ... what-
Cooler: Because I f***ing called it!
- In an act of Fridge Brilliance, Sauza's confusion is more understandable with the knowledge that while the joke is told over the course of 30 seconds, in-universe Cooler called back to a comment he made 27 years ago.
Sauza is from Space France. This results in lines like:
Sauza: Monsieur Cooler! Your brother... Lord Freeza... he has been... le killed!
- Or, when he tries to blast Goku:
  Sauza: Le suck it, bitch!
- And, this gem:
  Sauza: Qu'est-ce que fuck.
- And, after leveling a forest:
  Sauza: And now, ze perfect place for a shopping mall! It will have a cigarette shop, a baguette restaurant, ze Napoleon Museum, and a movie-theatre only showing films starring Jean Reno. Hon-hon! I'm French!
- Finally, the punchline when Sauza is killed
  Sauza: ''I will see you in space hell... Cousin Jeice."
When the villains ambush Krillin, Gohan, Icarus, and Oolong:
Krillin: *referring to Doore* Gohan! Look out! Its the Hul-! *gets knocked out* - Lololololoo... *thud*
Gohan: Krillin! *tail gets grabbed* Goodbye, muscle control.
Right after Cooler shows up, Gohan and the others are flying in to help Goku when:
Gohan: Dad! We're coming to help!
Cooler: (to Goku) Oh, is that your son?
Goku: ...Yeaaah?
Cooler: Imma kill it.
Goku: Don't you do it.
Cooler: Imma do it.
Goku: Don't you do it.
Cooler uses Eye Beams at Gohan
Goku: DANG IT! *flies in to take the hit for Gohan*
Icarus and Oolong waking up Krillin.
Sound Effects of Icarus licking Krillin's face
Krillin: Oh. Oh yeah. That's right Maron... Lower... Lower...
*Krillin suddenly wakes up*
Krillin: Wha?! Icarus?! [Beat] I didn't say stop.
[then later]
Goku: Krillin, what smells like dragon's breath?
Krillin: Shame, Goku. Lots and lots of shame.
When Krillin tells Gohan to fly to Korin's tower on Icarus to pick up some Senzu beans for Goku:
Gohan: Wait, why am I going?
Krillin: Because the last time I hung out with him, I completely forgot what his name was and kept calling him "Whiskers the Wonder Cat" the whole time... It was really awkward. ^Explanation
Yajirobe and Korin's entire argument, especially the end. "I'm not ready for kids!"
Goku's dream, which rivals Krillin's in its weirdness:
Goku: Oh yeah. That's right Chi-Chi... Pour that maple syrup... All over my breakfast. You beautiful lady who lives in my house...
When Piccolo confronts the three villains.
Piccolo: OK, I think I got this one. *points at Sauza* Pretty one. *points at Doore* Stupid one. *points at Neiz* One with weird powers.
Doore: Oi! I appreciate that, but I say I'm more handsome than pretty.
Sauza: And my powers are not that weird.
Neiz: *Roars unintelligibly*
Piccolo: *Beat* OK, I take it back, you're all stupid.
Nail gives color commentary during Piccolo's fight with Sauza (still living in his head), primarily with a lot of Star Wars: Return of the Jedi references.
Goku finding a bird and naming it Toriyama. Upon reviving it, he tells it to go forth and teach a dinosaur to ride a ball. The bird would live on to meet Android 16, having done just that.
Goku goes Super Saiyan, and we get a Call-Back:
Goku: Not going anywhere for a while? Grab a Snickers.
Cooler: ...I can't help but think we're both missing some context here.
Goku destroys the sun. But that's okay. Why?
Mr. Popo: Uh, hold on a sec... *The sun flickers back into existence*
This famous line:
Cooler: I'MMA PLANT ME A DUMBASS TREE! (Punches Goku into the ground)
- How famous, you ask? When Cooler was announced for Dragon Ball Fighter Z and when this very attack was shown off in his trailer, fans of DBZA quoted this line and even went as far as to refer to it as "The Dumbass Tree Attack".
Goku keeps on getting words wrong.
Cooler: Technically I can't be on a planet if there is no planet!
Goku: Now you're just arguing semetics!
Right before Cooler lobs his Supernova at Goku...
Cooler: By the way, before I throw this thing, did my brother do this?
Goku: Yeah but his was smaller.
Cooler: KNEW IT! HA!
Cooler's introduction counts as well:
Goku: FREEZER!
Sauza: Ha! You sink this is Freeza? No. He is... Cooler
Goku: Cooler than Freezer? You must be ice cold!
Cooler: No, that would be my father.
Sauza mistakes Goku's Power Level as Oolong's
Sauza: What? Whose power level is that? It's going off the scale! But the only one in there was the dying monkey and the pig. Sacre Bleu, could it be... the legendary Super Swine!?
Goku telling Gohan that he wants to eat Icarus.
Gohan: You won!
Goku: Yep, and we all pitched in. (beat) Cept' Icarus. C'mere, Goku's hungry!
Gohan: Wait, what are you—?
Goku: I WANNA EAT YOUR DRAGON!
- Later on after the Fake-Out Fade-Out:
  Goku: ...Seriously, give me your dragon.
- And the final shot in the credits is a slow pullback shot of a dragon skeleton.

06. Cooler 2: The Return of Coolers Revenge – The Reckoning

Goku's reaction to finding out the Namekians don't eat.
Goku: That's weird. They're weird.
The entire exchange on the ship, really, particularly Master Roshi wanting to "Get with some fine Namekian ladies".
When they approach Namek and see how much the Big Gete Star has overtaken it...
Oolong: Uh... guys? Can a planet get cancer?
Krillin: That's a weird question, why do you—(sees Namek covered by the Big Gete Star) OH, WOW.
Roshi: If it needs inspectin', I'm your man! I've done my share of mammograms in my day if ya catch my drift!
Oolong: When I do them, they're called hammograms.
Yajirobe: That'll do, pig.
Goku: Oh, boy. Someone should go tell Piccolo.
Piccolo: Someone should go tell Piccolo (sees the Big Gete Star) whaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?!
Beep.
Kami doesn't know about what happened to the albino Namekians. Nail and Piccolo are in no hurry to tell him.
Goku still has trouble differentiating between Freeza and Cooler.
Goku: So, you return once again, Freezer.
Gohan: Cooler.
Goku: Cooler.
Cooler: Yes, I have returned, dumbass.
Goku: Goku.
Cooler: Dumbass.
Cooler is not happy to find out that he's basically doing what Freeza did.
Piccolo: Freeza did it.
Cooler: Excuse you?
Krillin: The robot thing. Freeza did it. When he came back to Earth.
Cooler: But that's not the same-
Piccolo: After he took over Namek, like you are now.
Cooler: Wait! He destroyed Namek!
Gohan: Well this is new Namek.
Cooler: So it's completely different!
Piccolo: Yeah, about as different as you are from Freeza.
Krillin: (offscreen) SHOTS FIRED!
Cooler: Kill the bald one.
Minion: Beep.
Krillin: Freeza did it! (gets launched into a mountain)
- Even funnier since "Kill the bald one" can just as easily refer to Krillin or Piccolo, and Cooler would be doing the same as Frieza (Since Frieza tried to kill both).
Goku hits Cooler really hard, only for Cooler to regenerate:
Goku: Wow, the Big Ghetto Star ain't no one's fool.
Cooler: That's right, monkey. With the power of the Big Gete Star, I can recover from any injury, no matter how intense. But enough about me - let's kill you!
This little moment as Gohan and Krillin are being taken away by Cooler’s robots:
Gohan: MR. PICCOLOOOOOO!
Piccolo: I’m coming!
Krillin: PHRASING! I mean, HELP!
Piccolo figures out how to defeat robots: hit them really hard. He's annoyed that it sounds like one of Goku's plans, but it works...
- This was built up to by Kami and Nail pounding his Berserk Button about never being able to beat Goku.
  - It then cuts to Goku, who comments that "it worked" after destroying one of Cooler's arms. For those who don't get the joke, Goku did exactly what Piccolo said he would.
Then comes this fun exchange when Piccolo's arm is caught and starts getting nailed by bullets.
Piccolo: Ow, ow-ow-ow-OW! Dicks! Dicks!
Nail: They're just bullets, they're hardly even- (The rest of the robots aim Arm Cannons at Piccolo) Oh cool, cannons! Those'll hurt!
Piccolo: They do-oo-oo-oo-hooo!
Cooler has Goku by the neck - and apparently has for an entire separate scene.
Cooler: My god you take an eternity to choke.
Goku: [strangling] Is... that all you've got?
Cooler: As a matter of fact... [chokes him harder]
Goku: Regret, regret!
Goku's line upon meeting the robots.
Goku: I don't wanna have to solve this with violence... but I also reeeeally wanna punch you. (more robots show up) And your friends.
Beep.
Krillin: That one's asking for it!
Vegeta's Big Damn Heroes moment, and his first meeting Cooler..
Goku: Oh. Hey, Vegeta. When and how did you get here?
Vegeta: Apologies, but if anyone's going to kill Kakarot, it's me.
Goku: You're not even that good at it.
Vegeta: Shut your hole, Kakarot! Anyway, we meet at last... Cooler.
Cooler: Yes, we do... y-you...
Vegeta: Wait. Do you not know who I am?
Cooler: Should I?
Vegeta: I am Vegeta, Prince of All Saiyans, last of my royal blood... (Cooler glances around like he's trying to place Vegeta's face as he continues to boast) ...bringer of death, destroyer of worlds, and wrecker of your shit!
Cooler: Saiyan? Forgive me, I was under the impression there was only one of you.
Vegeta: Oh, trust me. There is only one of me.
Cooler: Then my eyes must deceive me, because I believe I see two dead monkeys.
Cooler repeatedly punches Vegeta over the horizon, and he keeps coming back. Seven times on-screen.
Cooler: He's quite persistent.
Goku: You have no idea, (Vegeta gets punched off screen again)...He's actually a really nice guy after you get to know him
Cooler: I doubt that.
Vegeta: (Furious at not being able to hurt Cooler) SONOVABITCH, I GOT YOU THIS TIME!!!!!
- Goku saving Vegeta twice in a matter of seconds. Vegeta gets pissed, to say the least.
  Goku: Don't worry, saved you again best buddy.
  Vegeta: THAT'S IT, KILLING YOU BOTH! (raises palm) BIG BANG ATTACK!
  (Vegeta fires, but neither Goku or Cooler are on screen. Moments later, Cooler kicks Vegeta in the dick so hard that everything goes super slow-mo and Ave Maria briefly cues up.)
  Vegeta: (insanely high pitched whine of abject pain)
  (Cooler then punches Vegeta away. He then lands in Goku's arms)
  Goku: Aw... he's all tuckered out.
  - To put this in perspective, he's kicked so hard you can not only hear a sickening crunch but can see the outline of Cooler's foot on the other side of Vegeta's body.
    Vegeta: (wearily) He keeps kicking me in the dick. Why!? Why does he keep kicking me in the dick?!
    Goku: Wait, I think I may have a way to beat him—
    Vegeta: If you say "hit him really hard", I swear to god, I will kick YOU in the dick!
    Goku: (hesitantly) I guess... we could hit him... really hard...
    Vegeta: (angry growl)
    Goku: ...together?
    (Beat)
    Vegeta: ...whatever.
- Vegeta's reaction to being constatly kicked in the gonads is pure gold. Instead of being abolustely pissed he sounds more bewildered as to why Cooler insists in kicking his tallywhacker.
- This also sets up a Brick Joke that ends in Super Android 13.
- Then, when it's revealed that Cooler has an army of himself:
  Goku: (notices a shiny thing on the edge of a plateau ahead) Hey... we beat him, right?
  Vegeta: Yeah... he turned into smoke.
  Goku: Then who's that guy?
  Cooler: Hello, buddy~
  Goku: Oh, that's right, the Serengeti Star...
  (Camera pans on a thousand Coolers)
  One Thousand Coolers: That's right, I am legion! For we are—
  Vegeta: —a pain in my ass!
  Goku: (as the Coolers approach them) Well, Vegeta... you take the five hundred on the right, I'll take the five hundred on the left.
  Vegeta: Screw you, I'll take five hundred and one!
  Goku: That's the spirit! (yells as he goes Super Saiyan)
  Vegeta: (yells as he goes Super Saiyan)
  (Smash Cut to them captured)
  Goku: Wow. I can't believe every single one of them kicked you in the dick.
  Vegeta: [high-pitched whine]
- And the final payoff, as Vegeta slices off the final Cooler's arm.
  Vegeta: That was for... m'dick.
After Goku and Vegeta get captured:
Goku: Where are we?
Cooler: You are inside... me!
Goku: (Gasp) Vegeta! He shrank us!
The origin of Cooler's union with the Big Gete Star
Cooler: I bet you're dying to know the story.
Goku: I'm really not intereste—
Cooler: You see...
[Cut to the charred remains of Cooler's head floating through space. A microchip flies by and embeds in his forehead, reviving him.]
Cooler: What the fu—
[The flashback ends abruptly]
Cooler: And that's how it happened.
Beep.
Cooler: And you're just brown-nosing.
Remember the Namekian who told Freeza he was gonna f*** his face?
Namekian: Alright, enough of this! Time to f*** some face!
Robot: Beep. (grabs the Namekian by his head)
Namekian: Oh no! My face!
Goku constantly mispronouncing the name of the Big Gete Star, such as The Spaghetti Star, The Ghetto Star, the Serengeti Star...
Cooler: Not dignifying that.
After Goku and Vegeta overloads the Star's systems, Cooler tries to mount a last offense by summoning his robotic bodies. However...
Big Gete Star: Beep.
Cooler: I know! I can't stop them! Where are the mes?! Send in the mes!
Big Gete Star: Beep.
Cooler: WHAT DO YOU MEAN "I'M EXPLODING"?!
(Cut to outside where all the Meta Coolers are exploding)
Cooler: Oh f...
Big Gete Star: Beep.
Cooler: Mes!
CL4P-TP (David Eddings, credited as "Lee Rastus") as the voice of the droid aboard the Big Gete Star, officially named D.V.E.D (Dynamically Voiced Evisceration Droid.)
Yajirobe: No, please! You can't kill me! There's someone at home that I love!
D.V.E.D: Beautiful! What's her name?
Yajirobe: H-h-he's a cat named Korin!
D.V.E.D: ...I am no one to judge. But I ''do'' decide your fate! Kill him slow—owwwoow—oooooowwww—...(spark) drop the bass (explodes)
- The Canadian subtitles don't even pretend like there's a difference, and just refer to him as CL4P-TP.
It turns out that Dende invited them, but NOT to Namek.
Dende: [on Kami's Lookout] WHERE THE F*CK IS EVERYONE?!
As Piccolo makes his appearance at the base, the Terminator theme plays.
Piccolo: Come with me if you want to live.
Gohan: Eh. Wrong Sci-Fi, but it'll do.
Just as Krillin is about to take on a robot:
Krillin: I've prepared my whole life for this: IT'S KRILLER TIME! (rushes robots)
*ELBOW*
Krillin: ... is never gonna be a thing... *falls to the floor*
Piccolo: (offscreen) JUST USE YOUR FRIGGIN' KIENZAN, CHRIST!
After Goku and Vegeta destroy the Big Gete Star by overloading its systems.
Cooler: How?! It literally doesn't make any sense! It took everything you had to defeat a single me. Yet you had enough power to overload the Big Gete Star?! HOW?! HOW DID YOU DO THIS?!
Goku: It looks like... you underestimated our power. Just like—
Cooler: Don't you DARE—
Goku: —you did on Earth.
Cooler: Oh. Fair enou—
Vegeta: (slurred) And just like Freeza.
(Cooler flies into an inarticulate rage as he forms a massive body for himself. He takes a swing at Goku as he goes Super Saiyan, then entangles his body in wires)
Cooler: DID FREEZA EVER DO THIS?!
Goku: (struggling) I'm beginning to think you have something against your brother!
Goku's Pre-Mortem One-Liner to Cooler.
Goku: Time to put you... on ice! (Throws an energy ball inside Cooler's chest)
(Beat)
Cooler: ...really? (long, disgusted sigh)
- Even funnier is his really deadpan tone as he says it, then a simple sigh just before he explodes. It's as if he just decided that it wasn't worth the effort to get worked up over anymore.
The obligatory passing out of the Senzu Beans, which Yajirobe had the foresight to bring during what was supposed to be a vacation:
Goku: Thanks for the Senzu Beans, Bean Daddy!
Yajirobe: 'S what I do.
When the gang is first cornered by Cooler's robots:
Oolong: I'm going to die on an alien planet. Dammit, I'm becoming Krillin!
Yajirobe: Calm your tits, scrapple-breath. Master Roshi's got this one.
(Master Roshi is staring down over a dozen robots)
Master Roshi: I have many things... a best friend that's a turtle, an island, chlamydia... This... (looks back) ...is not one of them.
Yajirobe: ...oh. Well, then what are we—
(Smash Cut to the robots dragging the three off in nets)
Minion: Beep.
Oolong: Hey, Master Roshi, why don't you try giving them the clap, you jackass?!
The title.
Beep.
Cooler: Shut up, baby, I know it!
After Goku and Vegeta beat the first Cooler-bot:
Goku: See Vegeta? We can do anything by working with each other.
Vegeta: Just shut the f*ck up, Kakarrot.
The oh-so-fitting song that plays during the credits: Monkey vs. Robot
Beep.

07. Super Android 13

If you listen carefully, the very first line in the whole movie is Android 17 mocking Android 13's hillbilly accent.
Takahata101's sole line in the movie is the muffled gargling noise made by Fetus Cell in the Cold Opening. The timing and delivery makes it hilarious on its own, but at the panel debuting the movie, Taka realizes that "Fetus Cell" is now going to be on his IMDb page.
While the gang is looking for Korin and Yajirobe's wedding gift Krillin explains that Master Roshi is banned from more than 500 Victoria's Secret stores. Which prompts Gohan to ask why a cat and a fat man want women's lingerie until Chi-Chi gives him a "Be Quiet!" Nudge.
- Prior to this, Goku wonders why one of the wedding gifts are (delicious looking) bath bombs, because he doesn't think they even have a bathroom - Korin always just told him to go over the side.
#14 and #15's introduction, as screaming crowds flee and cars swerve and explode all around them as they nonchalantly walk down the street.
Android 15: 'Scuse me, pardon me, comin' through. Watch the suit. Man, erryone actin' a fool. Like they never seen a purple dwarf before.
Android 14: (Unintelligible static) (They do not understand our struggle.)
Android 15: I know, right? Racist as shit.
The fact that 14's spoken dialogue consists of nothing but dial-up static. And the reason he gives? His sound drivers are corrupted and Dr. Gero couldn't find replacements on the internet.
- All of the distorted static is actually images converted into sound via PhotoSounder. The instance mentioned below of Android 14 saying, "Jet fuel can't melt steel beams" is actually this picture^noteBush did 9/11.
When Androids 14 and 15 blow up the mall, Krillin, Gohan and Trunks all say "aw, crapbaskets" at the same time.
- And just before the androids do so:
Android 14: (Unintelligible static) (Jet fuel can't melt steel beams.)
Android 15: Nah… but we can.
As Goku and Trunks lead the Androids away:
Gohan: Krillin, we should go after them!
Krillin: Should we?
Gohan: (annoyed) Yes!
Krillin: Okay, but must we?
Gohan: Well, you can come with me, or you can stay here with my mom.
Chi-Chi: (screaming at the top of her lungs like a madwoman, charging as fast as she can)
Krillin: We must! We must! (he and Gohan follow after the others)
Any time Android 15 scans something.
Fifteen: My database says... you's a bitch.
Android 13's debut.
Dr. Gero: Update complete. Now activating #13...
(the pod opens)
Thirteen: Mighty kind of ya, Doctor.
Dr. Gero: (severely exasperated) For crying out loud, WE JUST FINISHED PATCHING THAT!!!
Thirteen: (stepping out) Doc… you can't fix what ain't broke. Now…where's mah trucker hat?
(A mechanical arm slowly lowers the hat onto his head to a banjo rendition of "The Imperial March")
- How does Android 13 first greet the protagonists? Granted, it's not the exact same as Android 17's quotation of it, but still.
Thirteen: Howdy there! I'm Android 13. Look at mah trucker hat.
Trunks has had it with these monkey-fighting androids in this Monday-to-Friday timeline.
As usual, the villain's pre-battle banter goes awry.
Thirteen: Well son, looks like thirteen is your unlucky number.
Goku: I don't believe in stuperstitions.
Thirteen: ...How in the blazes did Gero have so much trouble killing you?
Goku: I'm very stubborn.
Thirteen: Hmm.
Goku knocking off Android 13's trucker hat.
Thirteen: (after spiking Goku into the arctic waters) Careful, son; you might catch your death a' cold!
(Goku lifts up a massive icicle as he emerges from the water)
Goku: Catch this cold! (hurls block of ice)
Thirteen: (dodges, but his hat falls off) MAH TRUCKER HAT!!! (grab's Goku's leg) Ya plum done gone dad gum did it now son!
Goku: Who in the wha...? *gets dragged into the freezing ocean*
Trunks' sword doesn't do much against the Androids.
Trunks: Gah, why did I even bring this?! ...Wait, why did I bring this? We were shopping before- (blam)
Thirteen attacks with his Signature Move:
Thirteen: You can't dodge my T.H. Death Bomb!
Goku: Does the T.H. stand for—
Thirteen: TRUCKER HAT. YES.
Goku: Not my first guess!
Vegeta makes his debut with an over-the-top entrance from inside a glacier that only he can pull off.
(A blast knocks the T.H. Death Bomb away, which explodes spectacularly.)
Dr. Gero: (fed up) Oh WHAT NOW.
Vegeta: (the glacier behind Goku cracking and breaking away) For thousands of years, I lay dormant. Who has disturbed my—
Goku: Hey, best buddy!
Vegeta: Oh, it's you. Explain, idiot.
Trunks: No, no, no...!
Goku: We found three more androids.
Trunks: DAMN IT!
Vegeta: Three whole androids, huh? Pretty sure that makes eight. Hm, never letting the boy live this one down.
Thirteen: Well! If it ain't the prince! Good day, your majesty! I'd tip my hat to you... BUT I LOST IT!
- And then came the Motive Rant:
  Vegeta: Look, I'm a little late to the game here; what's your deal?
  Thirteen: See here: the kind Dr. Gero deemed us, in his own words, "defective," leaving us on the proverbial shelf until, well, he gone plum run out of options.
  Goku: So, what's your detective?
  Thirteen: He could not quite tolerate my dulcet tones… my choice in vernacular… and my particular method of articulation.
  Goku: Also, you talk funny. What about him?
  Fourteen: (Unintelligible static) (The drivers for my sound card are corrupted and Dr. Gero could not find them online.)
  Vegeta: ...Alright, well what about the small one? Is it because he's purple?
  Thirteen: Okay, racist, if you must know… (Fifteen is seen swigging from a liquor bottle) it's cuz he's got a drinking problem.
  Fifteen: Hey, it's only a problem when I run out!
  Thirteen: We don't like to talk about it.
Vegeta and Fifteen have this brief exchange after Fifteen starts drinking heavily:
Vegeta: Does that even do anything for you?
Fifteen: Not anymore.
Right after #13 calls #14 and #15 into action, this happens:
Android 15: You got it, boss man. (takes a step and falls neck deep into the snow) You forget you saw this.
After Krillin bitches about coming all the way to the Arctic (without bothering to stop for a jacket) just to watch the others fight, Gohan admits that he needed some space from Chi-Chi.
Krillin: Eh, it's alright… Wanna have a snowball fight?
Gohan: Probably not a good time.
Krillin: Nah, nah, you're- you're right.
Trunks getting jack-hammered constantly by Android 14.
The Saiyans are pretty much getting destroyed by the Androids until Vegeta decides to turn things in his favor.
Vegeta: HEY! (leans his face into Android 15's) WANNA SEE SOMETHING COOL?!
Android 15: …Yeah, OK.
Vegeta: (Turns Super Saiyan, blowing away and incinerating Android 15's hat and shattering one of his lenses) AAAAAAAHHHHH!
(cut to Trunks being pummeled by Android 14)
Trunks: Oh, right. Super Saiyan. (dodges Android 14's punch and also transforms) AAAAAAAHHHHH!
(Cut to Android 13 slamming Goku into a glacier.)
Goku: Oh, right. Super Saiyan. (also transforms) AAAAAAAHHHHH!
(Cut to Dr. Gero's computer.)
Dr. Gero: Oh, shit. Super Saiyan. ...DAAAAAAAHHHHH!
Gohan: Uh, why did it take so long for them to do that?
Krillin: You know, I stopped asking that question a long time ago.
About to be on the receiving end of a blast, Gohan calls for Piccolo to help him. Cue Piccolo's own blast deflecting Android 13's before he shows up in the same manner Vegeta did.
Gohan: Piccolo! Help! (another energy blast shields Gohan from Thirteen's attack) Holy cow, that worked!
Piccolo: For thousands of years, I lay dormant. (bursts through the ice) Who has disturbed my— (grabs Android 13's legs) Oh, hey, Goku. What's up?
Goku: Androids.
Piccolo: Neat. Mind if I take a spin? (spins Thirteen around before letting go)
Thirteen: Whoa-whoa-whoa WAH HOO-HOOOOEYYYY!!!
Goku: Ah, 'cause you spun him around.
(thud)
Thirteen: OW!
Goku: Clever.
Piccolo: Thanks; I was practicing that one under the ice for the last half—(stops himself upon seeing Android 13 fly back up as Goku returns to his normal form) You know what? Never mind.
Thirteen: Now I don't mean to make this about your color or your race... but you better high-tail it outta here before you get hurt, boy...
Piccolo: You know, it feels like it's about both those things when you end it with the word "boy"…
Vegeta and Android 15 finish their battle by exchanging punches at the same time. At first, it seems as though #15 won out due to Vegeta losing his Super Saiyan form…
Android 15: Ha-ha! Super Saiyan or not, you're still just a— (his head comes off, landing in his hands) ...bitch.
(Vegeta throws a dog treat at him)
Android 15: ...Did you just throw a motherf**kin' dog— (explodes)
- What makes this scene funnier? The Death Equals Explosion scene effect included the dog treat as he explodes, then it flies off due to the explosion.
After 14 and 15 have been dispatched, and the heroes regroup around 13:
Vegeta: Looks like the countdown's just about over, you redneck... uh-
Trunks: Hey guys, I did that thing again where I slice my opponent in two and they don't react until-
Vegeta: I DID IT FIRST! You're not special!
Trunks: But, but you don't even have a sword…
As Thirteen absorbs parts from the other Androids:
Piccolo: I feel like we should be stopping this.
Goku: Nah, I want a good fight.
When #13 transforms, Vegeta is less than pleased about his choice of hairstyle.
Goku: Vegeta, he stole your 'do!
Vegeta: I'LL KILL HIM! (charges towards #13, once more turning Super Saiyan before punching him... to absolutely no effect; #13 grabs his arms)
[Beat]
Vegeta: (Small voice) Oh, no… (he and #13 plummet) AAAAAAHHH!
Trunks: (Flies toward them, unsheathing his sword) I got you, fath— (#13 blasts him into a glacier) AGH!
Vegeta: AHAHAHAHAHAHA—(#13 slams him into the icy ground) AGH! (combination of cough and weak laugh) Idiot. (#13 blasts him point-blank, sending him flying) AAH! Someone stupid get in my way!
(Gohan and Krillin run up.)
Krillin: What the—(Vegeta collides with him) AAGH!
Piccolo has a go at Super Android 13, with Kami and Nail trying to psyche him up with a very familiar chant.
Kami and Nail: Boom chicka aah! Boom chicka aah! Boom, boom, boom, boom! Green di-
Piccolo: What are you doing?!
Kami: We're trying to amp you up!
Piccolo: Well it's distracting! (gets caught and blasted into an ice wall.)
Piccolo, Kami, and Nail in chorus: OH SHIT MUTHAF*CKAAA—!
Super Android 13 punches Goku in the dick so hard^noteA Freeze-Frame Bonus reveals that his nuts literally exploded from the blow that it does a Flash Forward to Goten being erased from the timeline.
Goku: My turn! (goes Super Saiyan and starts attacking Super #13 futilely)
Dr. Gero: (as his computer scans Goku's midsection) Weakness… identified!
Android 13: (grins, grabs Goku's leg and readies a punch)
Goku: Hey, what are you—(echoing scream)
(Flash Forward to seven years in the future…)
Teen!Gohan: Alright Goten, it's your job to chuck these as hard as you can, so I can be all trained up to face off against Dad in the tournament. Now stand behind that line and…
Goten: (starts vanishing)
Teen!Gohan: Goten?
Goten: (completely fades from reality)
Teen!Gohan: …what was I doing here?
(and back in the present; Goku is squealing in pain as he's hurled down into a crevasse.)
Goku: He punched me in the dick? Why? Why did he punch me in the dick?
Vegeta: Not so funny now, is it, Kakarot?
Krillin: (who landed on Vegeta) Is Goku gonna be okay?
Vegeta: GET THE F*CK OFF ME.
- This is also a Brick Joke since when Android 15 is scanning Goku at the beginning, at some point it scans Goku's groin area and a there's a caption that reads "potential weak point".
- Vegeta has No Sympathy for Goku getting punched in the dick.
- Also, the implication that Vegeta is indeed stronger than Goku in one way: Vegeta's dick suffered roughly over 1000 blows from multiple Metal Coolers and yet remained intact enough to not wipe Bulla out of existence. Whereas Goku's balls did not survive and Goten was erased until he healed them with Senzu Beans (note the plural, the damage was so massive it took more than one to heal them).
This bit:
(Ki blast comes from off-screen and hits Goku)
Goku: (very whinny tone) OW!
Vegeta: Nobody's killing that idiot but me.
Goku: Aww, you do care!
The completely out of the blue, squeaky toy noise when Vegeta knees Super 13 in the gut.
Once Super 13 gets distracted one too many times Dr. Gero gets very upset:
Dr. Gero: (VERY exasperated) Oh my non-existent god...
- What sells it is the fact Gero says it in the same tone he would say "oh for fuck's sake!"
- Then as Super 13 prepares his T.H. Death Bomb...
  Dr. Gero: Good! Great! Now stop playing around with the rabble and focus your efforts on killing So-(Piccolo grabs 13 from the back and suplexes him)-on of a whore!
  - And made even funnier with his reaction upon seeing Goku's (slightly Off-Model) Nightmare Face...
    Dr. Gero: JESUS CHRIST! (a skull briefly flashes over Goku's face)
The Running Gag series of freeze frame cuts that pop up while the narrator explains just how badly each character that goes up against Super 13 is going to immediately regret their decision, capped with Super 13 himself for giving Goku enough time to absorb his Spirit Bomb and make the attack that finally brings him down.
- The song playing in the background of the freeze frames: "The Pantheon" from Bastion. Why is this funny? The first line of the song is "Gods ain't gonna help you son." sung in a old western style …which is also a shoutout since the Narrator imitates Rucks from the same game.
- And said narrator gets more disillusioned with each line. Until he's replaced near the end.
  - "And that's when the prince realized that when you grab a bull by the horns… sometimes, he'll take you for a ride."
  - "And that's when the time traveler realized that his sword was about as useless... as a screen door on a submarine."
  - "And that's when the green man realized that when you suplex a robot… you'd better… (music cuts off) Dah, what the hell am I doin'?" (sound of footsteps walking away).
  - "And that's when the robot realized he was as dead as… as a robot, because… (music cuts off) robots are technically not alive by the traditional definition of - These people even give a damn anymore?! I swear, they stopped tryin' after Season Two!"
Goku whistles the tune of "Mahna Mahna" as he charges the Spirit Bomb.
Krillin and Gohan end up hospitalized and don't get any Senzu beans because Goku ate all of them to recover from the previous Groin Attack.
Goku: Yep! Senzu beans healed my nuts up good.
Chi-Chi: Thank God!
- This could also be taken as a Call-Back to Goku's promise(?) to Chi-Chi that they would have Goten.
Before the credits, Dr. Gero in a computer is sighing as he talks about having to wait for Cell to grow up, only for Krillin to open the door to his lab. You can hear the incredulity in his voice. Take your pick between if it's because he was found, or if it's because Krillin was the one to finally finish him off.
The Credit's feature a Red Ribbon themed eighteen wheeler and are set to fiddle and banjo version "Cha-La Head Cha-La."
At the end of the episode, Piccolo and Vegeta set up the jumping fish gag… only for no fish to jump for nearly a full minute, leading them to engage in a very awkward conversation before the cut.
The final cut is a reference to A Fish Called Wanda, which is then explained by Vegeta.

08. Broly The Legendary Super Saiyan

The first thing we the audience see is an entire galaxy being destroyed…
South Kai: HOLY SHIT!
- South Kai tells King Kai that his entire galactic portion of the universe was blown up at once. King Kai tries to reassure him that it was probably Beerus (remember that Whis usually cleans up his messes), but South Kai points out that Beerus is still asleep. South Kai suspects that it was really East Kai (his ex-).
- Just the fact that the very first mention of Beerus in the Abridged universe is in a movie where the main antagonist is his polar opposite.
At Yajirobe and Korin's wedding, Krillin sings a really bad cover of Don't Stop Believing.
When Goku and Chi-chi apply to a college for Gohan, right away Goku tells the principal that he's a Saiyan. The principal simply responds by labeling Goku (and by extension Gohan) a minority and saying that this will work in Gohan's favor since they're trying to be more multicultural, and Chi-Chi rolls with it. What makes this even funnier is that it is previously established that the world knows about the Saiyans in the abridged continuity (the news referencing their attack in comparison to Cell), so the principal's first reaction to learning Goku is one of them is to label him a minority, instead of possibly freaking out that he is a literal alien.
- The scene begins with this line:
  Chi-Chi: Goku! I'm gonna show you.
- Also in the same scene you can hear some topics in Goku-King Kai conversation.
  Goku: No, not much, just some silly school thing— No, not for me. For Gohan.
- Chi-Chi and the principal stare awkwardly at Goku as he talks to King Kai since they only hear one half of the conversation, and when the principal tries to get Goku's attention:
  Goku: Hold on, talking to God.
- You can hear what Goku is saying when Chi-Chi is trying to spin that line to the Principal, too.
  Goku: There are other Kais? When were we going to talk about this?
- When Goku teleports out, the principal asks if he's a magician. Chi-Chi tries to swing this into getting Gohan accepted.
  Principal: Well, if he's as "in touch" with God as you say he is, perhaps he could work that miracle.
Conservative caricature Dr. Briefs comes to Yajirobe and Korin's wedding, but only so he could see what "the gay agenda" looks like up close. "Not impressed." When Paragus lands on Earth and swarms the party with dozens of armed aliens, Briefs decries the onset of "immigrants" and smugly points out that this is what liberalism gets you.
Vegeta at the wedding reception in general.
Vegeta: I came here for a banquet, and I find out it's a potluck, you cheap f*cks!
Vegeta tries to intimidate the coming invaders, but finds he's preaching to the choir.
Vegeta: Do you fools have any idea whose planet this is?
Mooks: ALL HAIL LORD VEGETA!
Vegeta: (beat) Well, good. Glad we're clear on that.
- Paragus then calls him King Vegeta - the subtitles quip "[You hear that? That's Vegeta's boner.]" and refer to him as "King Vegeta II" for the most of the movie afterward.
  Vegeta: Never in my life have I needed something so much and never known until I received it.
It's hilarious how quick Vegeta is to abandon his life on Earth after hearing Paragus' offer of a new Planet Vegeta for him to rule.
Vegeta: Ah, well then, it's official. Attention everyone! Your planet is a mudhole for entitled weaklings, (briefly pans to Bulma and baby Trunks) and you're all worthless. I'm going to claim my birthright.
Trunks: But dad, what about Cell?!
Vegeta: F**k 'im!
Bulma can't really decide how she feels about being abandoned by Vegeta again.
Bulma: Sure, just go back into space again! At least I'm not pregnant this time. Shit, I hope!
Trunks: I'll drag him back by his non-existent tail if I have to!
Bulma: (sigh) Don't try too hard…
- The first line of the above implies that at some point during all the chaos that is the Android/Cell Saga, Bulma and Vegeta had sex again.
King Kai's reaction to Goku's sudden appearance leads to some hilarious lines.
Kai: ...wait, "take this" where? Goku? Goku? (Goku pops in) SUPREME KAI ALMIGHTY—What is up with that monkey suit you're wearing?
Talking Movie Bubbles: That's highly offensive, sir.
King Kai: I'm a god, Bubbles, I don't see race! You filthy macaque.
Talking Movie Bubbles: (groans in disappointment)
Goku deciding to investigate the destruction of South Galaxy by teleporting to South Galaxy. In space. Naturally, he springs up five seconds later gasping for air after realizing he can't breathe in space.
Goku: So-ho-ho! I can't breathe in space apparently!
King Kai: You're the salt of the Earth, Goku.
Like in the original movie, poor Master Roshi get hungover and spacesick from space travel.
Roshi: (woozy) Someone fetch me a raw egg, two shots of Tabasco, salt, pepper, and a gun to shoot myself...!
Oolong: You know what they say, liquor before beer, you're in the clear. Liquor before intergalactic travel, feel your insides unravel.
Roshi: BLEHHH!
Cell's cameo.
Goku: Cell... did you destroy South Galaxy?
Cell: There's a South Galaxy? [No]
Goku: Forget you heard that.
Cell: No.
(Goku disappears)
Cell: (smiles) Our talks are nice.
- There's also Mercenary Tao's cameo, where he's just screaming in complete and total horror at Goku's appearance, who just casually raises his voice to talk over the long scream.
  Cyborg Tao: (screaming)
  Goku: I just want to make sure if it was you who destroyed South Galaxy!
  Cyborg Tao: (still screaming)
  Goku: Stop screaming if it was!
  Cyborg Tao: (continues screaming)
  Goku: Okay! I'm'a let you go then! Good luck with your assassing!
  Cyborg Tao: (yet more screaming)
Later, King Kai tells Goku to go to New Vegeta… And Goku thinks that "New Vegeta" is a new and stronger Vegeta.
King Kai: That man is going to be the death of me.
This line from Vegeta:
Vegeta: "You call THIS a palace worthy of KING Vegeta?
* First of all, I demand more towers.
* Second, I demand more towels!
* And third, I demand more trowels! The brickwork on this place is a shit-show.
Broly's introduction, where he manages to get some good jabs in at Vegeta while still coming off as totally meek and passive.
Vegeta: And who's this scrawny puke?
Broly: I'm a foot and a half taller than you, but whatever…
Vegeta: What was that?!
Broly: I said I can't hear you from down there…
Vegeta: ''SPEAK UP, BOY! I CAN'T HEAR YOU FROM UP THERE!''
Trunks is shown to be a total and complete Butt-Monkey here.
- Paragus thinks he's a girl based on his hairstyle^noteand the Running Gag that everyone thinks "Trunks" is a girl's name, and calls him "Princess Trunks." Vegeta, of course, latches onto this and declares it's his actual title. Cue the minions:
  Minions: ALL HAIL PRINCESS TRUNKS!
  Trunks: NOOOOOOO!
  - Even better? The subtitles start referring to him as "Princess Trunks" at this point.
- Upon seeing Broly, Vegeta decides, to further the Saiyan race… that Broly is allowed to bed and impregnate Princess Trunks.
  Trunks: Excuse you?!
  Vegeta: Shut up, boy. Think of the bloodline.
  Trunks: Do you even know what you're doing?!
  Vegeta: I don't need to. I'm king.
- Broly actually goes along with it.
  Broly: Your hair looks like lavender, but smells like strawberries...
- Vegeta compliments his son while calling him as a "filthy half-ling" near the end of Part One:
  Vegeta: First of all Paragus; your seed couldn't compare to my own, and he's a filthy half-ling.
  Lavender Hobbit: (completely indifferent) Love you too, dad.
Just after Broly comments on Trunk's hair (mistaking him for Trunks), Gohan thinks this is all fishy. This exchange happens:
Krillin: Yeah, Trunks doesn't have a womb. (you don't know that)
Gohan: We should investigate.
Krillin: Ha! not that curious!
Gohan: The planet.
Krillin: Yeah, yeah, I know...
Broly's adorkable personality and his constant talk about power levels.
Broly: What's your power level?
Vegeta: And stop asking that! No one cares anymore!
Broly: Mine's pretty big…
Oddly enough, the restrained Broly gets actually along with Goku really well.
Broly: Hello. What is your power level?
Goku: Uh, dunno. Pretty big, though.
Broly: (pleasantly surprised) Mine too!
Goku: Cool! So, 'Getes— I'm actually looking for the person who blew up a galaxy.
Paragus: But who would blow up South Galaxy?
Broly: Probably someone with a really big power level…
Goku: That's a good point. You've got a good point! What's your name?
Broly: Broly…
Goku: Good point, Broly!
(Broly smiles)
Goku names all of the past villains/rivals he's checked to see who destroyed the South Galaxy and it's that monster Pilaf that he treats with any contempt.
- If we go by the timeline of established events detailed in the Dragon Ball Super manga, "that monster Pilaf" and his gang have recently been turned into infants by the time Goku interrogated them.
- When we say he names all the past villains, this apparently includes Tenshinhan and Piccolo being asked if either of them destroyed South Galaxy, despite both of them being on his side now.
- And, of course, Yamcha isn't included despite also starting out as a rival/villain.
- Extra hilarious because Mercenary Tao and Pilaf are nowhere close even to planet-destroying level, yet Goku is running the errand in the hopes of finding a good fight.
- On a meta level during the DBZA movie marathon with Team Four Star for charity they mentioned that Goku confronting Pilaf is a deleted scene that they hope to show someday.
  - And now they have
Vegeta going mad with (political) power after being dubbed king… and then getting pissed off at how his palace is insufficient for a king such as himself.
Vegeta: It only has six towers! Like a peasant!
When Trunks tells Vegeta that the minions are torturing the Shamoshans:
Vegeta: Paragus, is this true?
Paragus: My liege… yes… it is.
Vegeta: My god… You aren't the shitstain of a Saiyan I thought you were!
Paragus: Thank you, my liege!
Trunks: (resigned) Oh, goddammit, dad.
Vegeta: You are now my Royal Grand Vizier!
Paragus: Ah, big shoes to fill. ^note
- Trunks calls the act inhuman, but Vegeta replies, "But it's not inSAIYAN!".
- As Trunks was telling him about this, we get a shot of his... quite jagged mouth... while Goku is right behind him, smiling like an idiot.
The Shamoshans turn out to be masochists who actually love their enslavement.
Shamo: (after getting whipped) Oh god, Daddy!
Krillin: (surprised) Whoa!
Dah-Di: Oh no, no no no no no. That's my name. It's actually pronounced; "Dah-Di". (whips the Podling again)
Shamo: Harder, Daddy!
Dah-Di: Now that one was what you thought it was. (whips him again)
Shamo: Ungh, yeaaah... (whip) Ungh!
Condi: Please, I beg you! He is but a boy! (Gohan and Krillin just kind of look at the scene playing out) Let me take it! It's MY TURN.
Dah-Di: Only after you lick my boot!
Condi: Oh, you monster!
- Followed by Krillin saying he gets their idea.
  - The other "Masked Sadist" is named “Mah-Stehr".
- And then followed by Shamoshans accidentally spilling the beans on Paragus' plan.
  Shamo: Although it is strange that he would force us to build a kingdom on a doomed planet.
  Paragus: Oh, Goddamnit...
  Vegeta: ... (to Paragus) Explain, shitstain.
  - The subtitles refer to him as "Ex-Grand Vizier Shitstain" in Paragus' next line of dialogue.
Before the above, this line after Goku shows up:
Paragus: Oh shit, it's Kaka—
Broly: HNG!
Paragus: —KU! Goku! Hello, Goku!
Paragus' mooks running away when Krillin starts showing off would normally be badass, but not this time.
Mah-Stehr: OK, kinky we can handle, but we're not getting paid for crazy.
There's a Call-Back to Freeza's "I killed your dad" story (the part he wasn't there for) from Episode 25 when Broly's father tries to get Vegeta to spare him:
Young Paragus: This is insane! Freeza's got us paying rent under his boot heel and you're going to murder a Saiyan baby with a power level of 10,000?! He's like a trump card if the card literally flipped the table over and shot the other player! He would be of great use to Vegeta!
King Vegeta: My... son, the planet, or me?
Young Paragus: Yes!
(King Vegeta shoots him)
- Followed by the sounds Paragus makes as he's blasted actually being shown in the subtitles.
  Young Paragus: HUAAAAAAAAAAGH GAHBHOOHUAAHYEAB HYUNNOBHUHA!
- As well, it turns out he attacked Broly because Nappa forced him to keep on schedule — for the appointment with Freeza that'll kill him.
  - They also show Nappa, as the Grand Vizier, dressed up as Jafar.
- King Vegeta tries to kill Broly by stabbing him. The knife breaks.
  King Vegeta: Son of an Arlian Whore! SOMEONE FETCH ME A BETTER DAGGER SO I MAY PROPERLY STAB THIS BABY!
  - When that fails, King Vegeta just drops Broly on his head^note and leaves both him and his father in a pit, with Paragus noting that he did a half-assed job at that like he did raising Vegeta as a child.
Paragus mentioning that he had been discussing The Son of Bardock™.
Vegeta: The scientist?
Paragus: The very same.^note
When Paragus is explaining his motives he states how his son had a power level of 10,000 at birth, while Vegeta claims he had a power level of 20,000 as a sperm despite only having a power level of 18,000 when he first fought the Z-Warriors.
Vegeta unknowingly tap dancing on Broly's Berserk Button.
Vegeta: I will address him with the name given to him by the glorious Saiyan race! Kakarot, Kakarot—
Broly: KAKAROOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!
Vegeta: See, he's slow and he gets it.
Paragus: (calmly) I suggest we all run.
(Cue Beerus Madness soundtrack as Broly transforms.)
- Before this, Goku repeatedly guessing at what Broly's trigger word is.
  Paragus: This is ridiculous! Stop trying to trigger my son!
  Goku: Freezer with an "i"?
  Paragus: For God's sake!
- The fact that while Trunks and Paragus are freaking out over Broly's impending freakout, Goku is just standing around with a stupid grin on his face.
During the battle with Broly, Krillin brings the Shamoshans with him, which even Goku questions it. They respond that they didn't want to miss all the sadism in that battle. Then this exchange happens.
Gohan: Dad, what is "Sadism"?
Goku: Ask your mother.
- At first Broly's dialog towards the Shamoshans looks like it'll be a case of Too Kinky to Torture, but...
  Broly: Yeah, you know your place. Under your master's feet!
  Shamo: Oh god, yes! (HORNY X3.5)
  Broly: You want the ultimate punishment?
  Shamo: Mmm, yeah! (HORNY X10)
  Broly: Then I'll just blow up your planet!
  Shamo: (HORNY X0) ...Guys, what was our safe word? (After their planet is blown up) Why did we not know our own safe-word?
  Condi: It was lost to time...
  - For an added bonus, the safe word was "broccoli".
Vegeta's BSOD is brought upon not by despair, but by how cool Broly is.
Broly's #1 Fanboi: How many push ups did he do? How many sit ups, WHAT KIND OF JUICE DID HE DRINK?
- And then Broly's motive (Goku cried for like, three hours) causes Vegeta to sink further into his BSOD.
  #1 Fanboi but disappointed Vegeta: But that's really dumb. But he's so cool! But THAT'S SO DUMB!
Trunks turning Super Saiyan and destroying his jacket in the process:
Trunks: Wha—? Ah, damn it, my jacket! I only had the one! Oh, mom is gonna kill me.
When fighting Broly, Goku wants Gohan to let go and go Super Saiyan 2. Gohan mistakes it for his father letting him go Screw This, I'm Outta Here.
Broly threatens to kill Gohan. Goku takes it as "Gohan, you're gonna go see King Kai!"
The short exchange with Gohan and Goku while they are beaten up.
Gohan: Dad?
Goku: Yes, son?
Gohan: Holy f*ck, he's strong.
Goku: Yeah, and to make things worse, I think we blew your college submission.
Gohan: Man, this just isn't my day.
Goku: Eh, don't worry. I think it's your movie next.
Broly: But now it's Broly! (Fires Eraser Cannon at Gohan) NOW BROLI!
Paragus telling Vegeta "You're not dealing with the average Saiyan warrior..."
- Noooo...
Minutes after Goku reacts with nonchalance to the idea that Gohan could be killed since Death Is Cheap, Piccolo once again arrives, saves Gohan's life, and overall acts like a much better father to him than Goku.
Piccolo: Gohan! Are you okay? Do you need some juice? Did you get into that school you wanted?!
Gohan: Doesn't look like it.
Piccolo: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
- And how did Piccolo find Gohan all the way out in space?
  Piccolo: (proudly) I came as soon as I heard you call!
  Gohan: ...how?
  (Cut to Krillin, Roshi, and Oolong looking out the window of a spaceship)
  Krillin: Thanks for the ship, Piccolo!
  Roshi: WE'RE TAKING THIS BITCH TO SPACE VEGAS! (the three of them cheer)
- The YouTube release has some Fun with Subtitles by rendering this particular scene's dialogue to label Piccolo as "GOHAN'S DAD".
When Piccolo goes to check on Goku afterwards:
Piccolo: Goku, can we beat this guy?
Goku: I dunno! I'm sure I'll pull something out my butt.
Broly: AND IT WILL BE BROLY'S FIST! (That sounds very painful)
Trunks: Probably...
Goku and Piccolo charges at Broly, intending on pummeling him, completely with awesome music. Then, the music cuts out as their punches are rendered as a Sissy Fight.
- The subtitles describe the sounds as "Kaiser Neko's hands slapping" and "The sound Vegeta makes when he sees Broly"
Broly confronts Trunks about how he "lied to [him]" about being a girl. He doesn't seem to mind that much though. And when Trunks mentions that he was the one who killed Freeza, Broly finds that attractive.
Broly: Princess Truuunks...
Trunks: Please, no...
Broly: You lied to me...
Trunks: I did no such thing!
Broly: You dirty boy.
Beat
Trunks (horrified expression, panicking): Goku, get me off this planet right now, I'm serious! Instant transmission-!!
- The YouTube release has some Fun with Subtitles by rendering this particular scene's dialogue to label Broly as "BROLY [DOM]" and Trunks as "PRINCESS TRUNKS [SUB]".
Piccolo attempts to strike Broly from above. Emphasis on attempts because Broly knocks him away just by standing up— not a headbutt, not a shoulder strike, just by standing up. Then he spin kicks Piccolo, punts him like a trash can and blasts Piccolo who, as one youtube comments puts it, "screams like he's been strapped to a rocket". Also doubles as an Awesome moment for Broly.
Vegeta's conflicted feelings about Broly while Piccolo is just not putting up with any of his bullshit. Also anytime the subtitles mentions Vegeta "blowing his load" at Broly's feats.
Piccolo: What, the F**K are you doing back here?!
Vegeta: I don't know what's going on anymore. He's so cool, but he's so... goddamn dumb.
Piccolo: (grabs Vegeta's hair) Okay, Vegeta? While you're here having this "crisis", we're out there getting beaten to a bloody paste!
Vegeta: But you don't understand! The legendary Super Saiyan is motivated by a crying infant! He is a literal giant f**king BABY!!
Piccolo: So, kind of what you're being right now?
- The subtitles then give Nail and Kami unvoiced lines showing that Piccolo got in a serious burn.
  Nail: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
  Kami: Damn!!!!!!
- And then the follow-up.
  Vegeta: You're just mad you're not the Legendary Super Namekian™.
  Piccolo: Alright, bye Vegeta. (casually drops Vegeta off cliff)
  Vegeta: (flatly) Byyyyyyyyye...!
  - Which is also ironically funny, because Piccolo - by proxy of Kami & King Piccolo before him - pretty much is the "Legendary Super Namekian".
Broly struggling to come up with his Signature Line.
Piccolo: Let's see how you fair when it's 4-on-1 monster!
Broly: Monster? Broly is not a monster. Broly is... Uh...
Gohan: A genuine demon?
Goku: A true freak?
Broly: The Devil.
[Aaand Vegeta's blown his load again]
Broly's Number One Fanboi: (in the background) OH MY GOD, HE'S SO. GOD. DAMN. COOL!
This exchange, when Broly stops Goku from firing the Kamehameha.
Broly: (grabs Goku by the face) You were SAYIN'?
Goku: (muffled) I AM Saiyan! (laughs at his own joke while Broly breaks his ribs)
What finally pushes Vegeta over the edge and makes him want to fight Broly is the latter constantly ignoring him over Goku. Vegeta finally powers up to Super Saiyan only to get immediately smacked into the side of a building with a lariat. The subversion of Vegeta's attempted Badass Boast is just the icing on the cake.
Vegeta: You've been ignoring someone this entire time!
Broly: ...Broly's wife?
Trunks: Well, technically, I was the one who killed Freeza...
Broly: (grinning) That's hot.
Vegeta: No, you mouth-breather! You have been ignoring your king!
Broly: What is a king to a god?
Vegeta: And what is a god to a non believer?!
(Vegeta powers up and his Super Saiyan OST plays only for it to get immediately cut off after the aforementioned lariat.)
Broly (God): Do you believe now?
Vegeta: (weakly) Uh huh. So cool...
In perhaps the most meta moment of the movie, where everyone (read: the creators) starts to get tired of Broly:
Goku: Okay guys, be real with me: is this the worst or what?
Piccolo: Frankly, at this point, I wish we could open up the Deadzone and bring back Garlic Jr.
Trunks: Can't believe I'm saying it, but I'd take some more androids, please?
Vegeta: And I'd rather get kicked in the dick a thousand more times than hear that idiot scream Kakarot's name again.
Broly: (in the background) KAKAROT! (Vegeta groans)
Gohan: I'd even take Turles, and he was just an evil version of my dad.
Vegeta: Wait, that guy with the tree? Is he alive?
Goku: Not anymore. Also that Wheelo guy, he was nice.
Gohan: Oh yeah. Too bad he died of brain cancer.
- The fact that Broly yells KAKAROT right after Vegeta says that he'd "rather get kicked in the dick a thousand more times than hear that idiot scream Kakarot's name again" is just the icing of the cake. As if Broly, even at the top of his Flanderization, was still able to yank Vegeta's chain.
- Also the fact that Piccolo thought about reopening the Dead Zone to bring back Garlic Jr. Last we saw him in the Abridged canon, he escaped and got assimilated by Mr. Popo.
- It's so bad that unlike in the actual movie where Vegeta is reluctant to give Goku his energy due to his pride, here he gives up his energy with no questions asked just so Goku can get rid of Broly as quickly as possible.
  Goku: Give me all of your energy. Right now. I'll end it in One Punch, Man ™.
  Piccolo: Done.
  Trunks: Doing it.
  Gohan: Please make it end.
  Goku: Now, Vegeta. I know you're probably not going to...
  Vegeta: F*ck it. You have it. Just go.
  Goku: Thanks, best buddy!
  Vegeta: (flatly) No. (collapses)
- Which gets a nice Call-Back at the end of the movie, when everyone is stuck on the Capsule Corp ship, and Piccolo gets indignant that nobody mentioned Slug.
  Piccolo: Okay, just gonna drop this one out there, but earlier nobody brought up Slug and I feel that's kinda racist.
  - Even better when you remember that the video was out while TFS was making a top 24 of the best villains of Dragon Ball... And Slug didn't make it into the list either (although he got an honorable mention).
King Kai and South Kai's conversation at the end.
King Kai: There you go South Kai. Your Galaxy has been avenged.
South Kai: ...But it's still gone.
King Kai: Sorry, but ain't no Dragon Balls that'll bring that back... I think.
South Kai: But what about the Other World Tournament coming up?
King Kai: Well, now you have a lot more options.
South Kai: ...That's f***ed up, man.
The very last lines from the film:
Chichi: I want a divorce.
Goku: Me too! I'm starving!
- During this scene, Chichi is listed in the subtitles as "The Real Dom", with her listed as "The Real Pissed Off Dom" when she says this line.
Really, the entire movie is a subtle and respectful Take That! toward Broly and his fanbase; from Vegeta getting annoyed at Broly constantly asking about Power Levels, to him practically fangasming at how "awesome" Broly is while being incredulous at his ridiculous motivation. As well as the aforementioned point of the cast have gotten tired of his presence. Even Paragus tries to abandon him when he sees that his son has devolved to the point just being able to say one word.
The YouTube release in general has a lot of Fun with Subtitles (set to the "English (Canada)" setting).
The rock number that plays over the end credits is packed with it. Especially the end.
Wen Broly? Broly DONE.
- In the post-release livestream TFS had the day the full movie was put up, the chat very quickly started asking "Wen Bojack?"
  - Even better, there are some people asking in the comment section of the Youtube release "Wen Broly Second Coming?"
  - When brought up at the next TFS Panel, they reacted... expectedly.
    KaiserNeko: GO TO HELL!
  - And even better-er, the livestream ended with people chanting "Wen Biobroly?"

SPECIAL #01: Bardock - Father of Goku Abridged

Bardock's Establishing Character Moment.
Pumbukin: I bet [the mother]'s Selypa. I've seen the way you two look at each other!
Bardock: Nah, it'd never work out between us.
Toma: Why not?
Bardock: Are you kidding? She's a raging dyke.
Selypa: I'm right here, you asshole!
Bardock: ...and?
Selypa: God, this is why I hate men!
Bardock: Point proven.
- Even better, fast forward a few years and we see that this is true- Goku's mother is actually a Saiyan chef named Gine.
- And when he finds his team slaughtered with only Toma alive, Bardock points out that everyone else was bland - except for Selypa, since she was the only one with a decent pair of ti-
  - Dodoria, the one responsible for slaughtering the team, had a good zinger at Toma's expense.
    Dodoria: Well, tell me something. What looks like crap, feels like crap, and probably ain't gonna wake up in the mornin'?
    Toma: Is... is it me?
    Dodoria: And that's the punchline.
Bardock is only slightly better a parent than Goku:
Bardock: Hey there, Kakarot. It's your daddy! Let's see what kind of power level we've got here... Alright, whoa ho ho ho! Ten-thousand! That's my boy! (sees name plaque) ...Wait, Broly...?
- Even better is the set-up to that. Bardock at first doesn't give a damn when the doctor asks if he wants to see Goku, noting that he never paid attention to Raditz when he was growing up. The doctor answers, "And we all know how he turned out," followed by a Gilligan Cut to the above line.
Another from the Bardock special:
Grandpa Gohan: Someone threw out a perfectly good baby! I think I'll name you... Clark.
Bardock witnessing the future of his son Goku... in a scene from Dragon Ball GT. "...And now I welcome the sweet embrace of death."
- "Well, I'd say I should've seen this coming, but that would be ironic."
The Running Gag of Bardock's psychic powers kicking in at the wrong time.
Bardock: (fighting Dodoria's henchmen, thinking) I can't believe [my team] lost to these guys! What a bunch of— OH SWEET CRAP, NOT AGAIN!
Goku: Kaio Ken!
Bardock: (back in his own time) Kaio what? (punched in the face by something completely different)
- "USELESS-ASS PSYCHIC POWERS!!!"
- Mr. Popo's cameo as Bardock first gets his ability to see the future.
This exchange
Dodoria: I think that Bardock's a pretty cool guy.
Zarbon: He conquers planets and doesn't afraid of anything.
Freeza: Doesn't afraid of anything indeed.
- Before this, Freeza's voice sounds much like the Funimation dub, and then he clears his throat.
- And when Dodoria reports back to Freeza:
  Freeza: So, how did the mission go?
  Dodoria: Complete. Annihilation.
  Zarbon: Where are your men?
  Dodoria: Complete. Annihilation.
  Freeza: So you're absolutely sure you killed every single living thing on that planet?
  Dodoria: Complete... annihilation.
  - Cue Bardock's pod flying past them.
    Zarbon: So, ”complete annihilation”, huh?
The whole exchange between Nappa and young Prince Vegeta.
Nappa: Vegeta!
Vegeta: What is it, Nappa?
Nappa: Well, I've got good news... aaaaand bad news. The bad news is... *rushed* reports say our entire planet has been destroyed by a gigantic meteorite along with all its inhabitants.
Vegeta: Ah- But- What about-?!
Nappa: Aaand your father.
Vegeta: My. Whole. Family. My race!
Nappa: But the good news is we're going to Dairy Queen!
Vegeta: My entire race is gone!
Nappa: DAAIIIRY QUEEN!
Vegeta: ...Just take me to the damn queen, Nappa.
Nappa: Yaaay! This seems like the beginning of a bee-yootiful friendship.
All of Toolo's lines. All of them.
Toolo: "I CAN SEE THE FYOOO-CHURRRR!!!!!!"
"OH, NO! THEY CAN SEE ME!! I HAVE TO STOP YOU FROM DESTROYING MY RACE! IN THE FYOOO-CHURRRR!!!!!"
Bardock: "We already did that."
* Beat*
Toolo: "I KNEW YOU'D DO THAT! NOW I HAVE TO KILL YOU! (*Attacks Bardock*) NOW YOU, TOO, CAN SEE THE FYOOO-CHURRRR!!!!!" *Gets blasted by Tora* "AAAHHHHH!"
* beat*
"I'M ON FIRE!!!" *Explodes* AH!!!
The special addresses something that was overlooked in the original. As Bardock declares their independence from Freeza, hundreds of Freeza's men are behind him. In this version, they have the presence of mind to object to his all-inclusive terminology.
"This man does not speak for us. [...] Seriously, we're not with him."
A cameo after Planet Vegeta is destroyed.
Sauza: Monsieur Cooler! It seems that your brother is destroying the planet Vegeta!
Cooler: Very impressive, killing off a bunch of monkeys. Any liquored-up hillbilly with a shotgun could've done that at the zoo.^note
Sauza: [sees Goku's pod] Wait, sir! It seems he has missed one ship! We are in range to intercept-
Cooler: No. Let it go.
Sauza: But, why?
Cooler: Because, I'm a prick.
When Bardock's fighting the last two of the group that killed his teammates, he pulls off some Deadly Dodging to get one to bury his fist in the other, prompting the injured one to call the other a "Team killing fucktard!"
When Bardock is fighting his way to get to Freeza and he's gang piled by a couple of mooks, one of them actually shouts out during Bardock's shouting "Hey yo Bardock, I'm really happy for you and Imma let you finish but-" before he and the others are killed.
Once Goku arrives on Earth, Grandpa Gohan discovers him, deciding to name him "Clark" before deciding to name him Goku (deciding "Clark" sounded stupid). He then decides to raise/toss him a couple of times, but then accidentally drops Baby Goku on his head at the end of the special.

SPECIAL #02: Episode of Bardock

Bardock has a delayed realization. During his fight with Chilled.
Bardock: Hey! What year is it!?
Chilled: 2222!
Bardock: BC or AD?
Chilled: ...the hell are those?
Bardock: (deadpan) I'm in the f***ing past.
- The sheer shark-jumping of this moment causes him to go Super Saiyan.
  Bardock: Of all the STUPID! (head-desks on the ground) ASININE! (punches ground) SHARK-JUMPING BULLSHIT! (head-smashes again, and turns Super-Saiyan in rage.)
During the opening, Freeza and co bring up callbacks from the earlier movie. Bardock's reactions are beautiful.
Freeza: You know, the funny thing is, Bardock, even if you had seen this coming, there's nothing you could have done about it.
Bardock: You don't... you have no goddamned idea.
Zarbon: Mm, and even if you'd told every single Saiyan, none of them would have believed you.
Bardock: Just... please stop talking.
Dodoria: And you never got a chance to say goodbye to your son.
Bardock: I have one of those? (eyes widen in realization) Oh god, I have TWO of those!
- Bardock also shows that he is in fact Gohan's grandpa.
  Freeza: Consider this downsizing on a global scale! You can pick up your unemployment checks wherever you end up.
  Bardock: (while throwing an energy blast) Go to hell!
  Freeza: See, that was my first guess. (throws the Death Ball, which absorbs Bardock's attack)
  Bardock: Aw, crapbaskets.
The narrator in the beginning, who explains that Freeza destroying planet Vegeta should have been the end of Bardock... if not for a thing called merchandising!
Every single primitive Saiyan is named for a different rapper. And they all sound like Kermit the Frog. And Bardock's sheer unbridled hatred for them knows no bounds.
Dr. Dray: Hi ho! We found you near death and in a valley not far from here. We helped bring you back to health with our magical healing S.P.U.G.E.
Bardock: (shocked and disgusted gasp)
Dr. Dray: Super Polymorphic Unleashing Gel. We brought you to our town on our pleasant, serene little planet. My name is Dray, and this is my child Twopock. Say hi ho, Twopock.
Twopock: Hi ho! Where are you from?
Bardock: (calmly) There is nothing about this whole scenario that doesn't make me so disgusted I want to violently vomit out my own internal organs. I despise you both so intensely that I can't tell if my vision is blurry from my near-death experience or from my unforgiving rage. If allowed, once I am back to full health, I will gut you with an honest-to-god smile on my face, and then proceed to paint the home I build with your bodies with your very blood.
(Beat)
Dr. Dray: You hear that Twopock? You've made a friend.
Twopock: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!
- What makes this one even funnier is that Twopock's line is Jump Cut directly into an explosion so for a second it feels like Bardock actually did kill them before shown otherwise.
And later, after saving the village...
Saiyan: Hooray! Everyone give praise to our new violent saviour!
All: Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays...
Bardock: NO! None of that! Shame on you!
- This is repeated later when Chilled and his minions arrive in the village asking for Bardock.
  Saiyan: All hail the violent savior!
  All: Fahoo forays...
  Chilled: NO! None of that! Shame on you!
- The look of sheer shock the Saiyans show when Chilled tells them "None of that!" is absolutely hilarious.
Later, when Dr. Dray can be seen healing another resident.
Rizza: Thank you Dr. Dray, your S.P.U.G.E has cured my syphilis.
Dr. Dray: (happily) You are welcome, Rizza.
Rizza: Well, back to what I was doing before!
Dr. Dray: Oh, you are just incorrigible.
(Chilled and his soldiers walk into the village.)
Soldier: Hello, we are the Space Police.
Aice Qube: (offscreen) Man, F**K the police!
Dr. Dray: (annoyed) Not now, Aice Qube!
Soldier: We are here to catch evil space criminals and various other ne'er do wells.
Dr. Dray: I can assure you that we have already exiled Khris of the clan Brown from our planet.
Bardock's interactions with Twopock:
"I don't want your bread or your food...but leave the basket. LEAVE THE BASKET!"
"I swear to God I'm going to eat his entire race (The opportunity presents itself) Dammit, I filled up on bread!"
"Seriously kid, if you don't start bringing me meat I am literally gonna shit bricks. (Cut to Twopock bringing in a rock) THAT IS A RAWK!"
Bardock schools Chilled's minions on how to intimidate a village.
Bardock: Seriously? This is how you intimidate a village? Blow up a house or two? I don't even think you killed anyone with those pea-shooters. Speaking of which, what models are those, they look ancient.
Soldier: Heeey, we were gonna kill one of the sick ones if they didn't comply.
Bardock: (sarcastically) Oh, kill one of the sick ones. What're you going to do next, waterboard the elderly?
Soldier: Look buddy, we didn't come here to be judged by you.
- This is again revisited during the Stinger during the credits, where Bardock actually instructs the villains on how to do PROPER villainy! It also includes a joke from the Ocean Dub.
  Bardock: Seriously, you want to learn how to traumatize a village? Ok. See that kid over there? Bardock is shown blowing him up.
  Saiyan: Odieby! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
  Bardock: You hear that mother? THAT... is distraught.
  Soldier: ...You should write a book. You're like a brilliant scientist!
  Bardock: Well, I am working on this fake moon thing.
  - To explain, the Ocean Dub has Vegeta credit Bardock for the creation of the Saiyans' false moon technique, calling him a mediocre warrior but "a brilliant scientist", even though this has no basis in canon.
Chilled's hamminess is enough to send anyone into hysterical laughter. (Plus the fact that this incredibly high pitched character is played by GanXingba, the voice of Tenshinhan)
Chilled: And nooow yououou diiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeee!
And when the future Pineapple is informing Chilled of his two soldiers' deaths...
Pineapple: Lord Chilled! The vital sensors and the blasters of the two soldiers you just s-
Chilled: Shhshhshh.
(Prolonged Beat)
Chilled: Continue.
Pineapple: ...have ceased transmissions. We believe they're dead!
Chilled: (gasps) Outraaageous! In honor of their deaths, my men shall now and forever more be given the names of fruits! Pineapple! Briiing us to Planet Plant!
Pineapple: ...So, am I Pineapple?
Chilled: Yyyyess!
The blue mook shooting up the Saiyan village: "Inhabitants of Planet Plant: we are here on a diplomatic mission in the name of your new emperor, Lord Chilled. Pamphlets will be passed around to you to introduce you to your new, exciting lives as slaves to his almighty horniness."
Bardock's reaction to Twopock coming to him for help: "Oh, Space Christ, what now?"
- This results in the second of Bardock's creeping realizations that he's in the past, which again is interrupted. He kicks Twopock away and flies off which leads to this gem.
  Twopock: I am now bearing your child.
  (Beat)
  Twopock: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!
This exchange between Chilled and Dr. Dray is as funny as it is full of innuendo.
Chilled: That's right! Continue to blow up the houses! We will avenge my men AND TAKE CONTROL OF THIS PLANET... Also we want your healing medicine.
Dr. Dray: How did you hear about our S.P.U.G.E.!?
Chilled: BECAUSE OF RAISINS! ...Raisins is my intel guy.
Soldier: Now give us your S.P.U.G.E, or we'll beat it out of ya.
Chilled: (holding a camcorder) And I'll record the whole thing!
- Bardock jumps in and saves the good doctor, commenting on the conversation as he's snapping one of Chilled's mook's neck.
  Bardock: I'm sorry I had to step in, but that was just getting obscene.
- Chilled's pronounciation of "Raisins" makes it look like he's saying "Reasons". So, how did he know about S.P.U.G.E.? "BECAUSE OF REASONS!"
There's one final rap reference, and it's a clever one. When Chilled attacks Twopock and injures him, Dray utters this line:
Dr. Dray: No, Twopock! Damn you... big... small guy!
- So the villain of the movie? Biggie Smalls. Hilarious if you remember that Tupac and Biggie were feuding with one another before their deaths.
As it turns out, Bardock DOES hate one thing more then the past Saiyans...
Bardock: (upon seeing Chilled, who he starts seeing as Freeza) Freeza? Freeza! FREEEEZA! (punches Chilled)
- The dialogue between the two is hilarious.
  Chilled: You wish to wrestle with the great Lord Chilled? Yet you have not brought your own leotard? (stomps Bardock's head into the ground) Worthless welp! YOU MAKE A MOCKERY OF WRESTLE WEDNESDAY! You see, they both start with W's. It's alliteration.
  Bardock: (muffled) Freeza! FREEZA!!! (devolves into growling noises)
  Chilled: I don't know who this Freeza is, but he sounds like a classy lady.
- And after Dray attempts to help Bardock...
  Chilled: These people seem to have a sincere affection for you. What is your secret?
  Bardock: (muffled) Maybe because I don't look like a giant purple and orange tampo-
  Chilled: Ihavelostinterest! (kicks Bardock away)
- And then Twopock attempts a run-in:
  Twopock: I must protect the father of my unborn child!
  Chilled: (charging up an energy blast) Congratulations! It's a corpse! (blasts Twopock away)
Chilled's last decree to his men.
Chilled: Before I die... I have... one final decree. All of our most elite warriors must learn dance... choreography. (takes off breathing mask and leans up) Got... to... style... all over our opponents'... forrrrce...
- Even more funny when you catch that it's a None Piece shout out... or how the Ginyu Force was formed.
Even the post-death scene is funny.
Pineapple: Well, call it Blueberry.
Blueberry: Do I still have to call myself Blueberry?
Raisin: I'm going to keep calling you Blueberry.
Blueberry: SHUT UP RAISIN!
Chilled's reaction to Bardock going Super Sayian, as well as that of the Past Sayians is pure genius.
Chilled: Oh, I'm sorry. I only fight natural blondes.
Bardock: I... am the legendary Super Saiyan...
Sayians: Yay! We're all Super Saiyans!
Bardock: I will EAT YOU!
After Bardock catches both of Chilled's fists, there's this great twist on Wings' line from the Lord Slug movie.
Chilled: Please don't break my butt.
Bardock: Okay.
Chilled: Truly?
Bardock: No.
Chilled's tantrum after Super Saiyan Bardock gives him a royal beating (which itself is scored to "Ode to Joy") is priceless:
Chilled: You petulant, impudent, contemptuous whooorrreeee!!
Bardock: You mad bro?
Chilled: (while charging up an attack) A little! Thank you for asking!
(Chilled throws one last blast, with Bardock throwing his own)
Bardock: Then maybe you should chill!
Chilled: I'm always Chilled! (Beat, with the blast getting ever closer) Oh, I get it-
(Gets hit by Bardock's attack)
Chilled: (while flying away) NOOOOOOOooooooooooooo...
Bardock's thoughts on hell. He really is Goku's father.
Bardock: Am I in a bed? Does hell have beds? You'd think they'd have beds of spikes. Or spiders. Or spiky spiders. Spikers.
The whole thing was a story Goku made up to tell Gohan, then when he questions it... he wakes up to Piccolo watching him.
Piccolo: Go back to sleep, Gohan.

SPECIAL #03: History of Trunks Abridged

Vegeta gets pissed that Goku died before Vegeta could kill him. He yells "Son of a bitch!" and baby Trunks repeats it.
Child Gohan being unable to put together how his dad died.
Child Gohan: But he just got back from his training! After getting back from Namek! After getting back from his training! After being dead!
Goku's last words?
Goku: (As he is fading away) Byeeee, son...
Goku's friends mourned his death... until they were attacked by the Androids six months later.
Krillin: Hey girl, how you— (Screams as he gets blasted by 17 and 18) MY EYES!!!
The two radio personalities who have the gall to joke around when the Androids are blowing up a city and one of them just so happens to have a fiancee who lives there, but now he is likely single and open to dating.
Wombat: Silver lining; I'm single again!
TJ: Oh, behave! (Soul Bossa Nova begins to play)
Bulma can't stand the aforementioned Shock Jocks so, while lamenting the death of country music, she changes the station to "Robot Rock".
While Android 17 is running down hapless civilians, 18 looks rather annoyed.
17: *While he is driving down civilians on a hover car* Hey 18, you keeping score?
18: Why would I be doing that?
17: You said you would!
18: No, you said "Hey, check this shit out!", then jumped in a car!
17: Aw come on sis, is this about the shop earlier?
Continuing from the above, Android 17 blows up a women's clothing store just after 18 managed to score some free clothes. 18 is not pleased.
18: What the hell? Why did you blow it up? They were giving me free clothes.
17: Didn't give me nothin'.
18: It was a woman's clothing store!
17: Hey, I'm perfectly secure.
18: Is that why you dye your hair?
17: *scoff* Don't hate.
Trunks commenting that his mother, Bulma had been 37 for ten years.
- Coincidentally, in Battle of the Gods, Bulma is celebrating her 38th birthday. Her actual age is 45.
Trunks going into Inelegant Blubbering upon first meeting Gohan amidst the ruins of the recently destroyed city.
Young Trunks: (Incoherently) Gohan they keep destroying cities and I don't know how to stop them and now everybody's dead! (resumes bawling his eyes out)
Trunks' narration: I believe it was profound. (Young Trunks keeps crying his eyes out)
When Trunks asks Gohan if life was better in his time.
Adult Gohan: Well, when I was a toddler, my uncle showed up, kidnapped me, and then Mr. Piccolo killed him and my dad. Then Mr. Piccolo kidnapped me, the Saiyans showed up, killed a bunch of people, including Mr. Piccolo. Then we went to Namek, a bunch more people died, we came back, then my dad died again, then all my friends died, and now everyone else is dying.
Young Trunks: But it was better, right?
Adult Gohan: …No.
Bulma hitting on Gohan. After getting shot down, she admits it was worth a shot.
We have this bit when Bulma asks Gohan over for dinner.
Adult Gohan: Can't talk. Eating. *Swallows up a bunch of food, just like his late father with loud vacuum sounds.*
Bulma: Oh, you are just like your father...
Adult Gohan: (while mouth is full) In what regard?
Bulma: Well, you're strong, brave, and look at you in that gi!
Adult Gohan: It was the only thing he left me.
Bulma: Aww, that's sweet.
- Said dinner? Bulma mentions that they have a hydroponic garden, but in a Call-Forward, she says not to ask where the meat comes from.^Explanation
- Trunks asks Gohan how to find the willpower to turn to Super Saiyan:
  Young Trunks: You've always told me to use the pain of loss... But I've never really "lost" anyone.
  Adult Gohan: For me, it's my greatest source of anger. I just think about losing Krillin or Mr. Piccolo...
  Young Trunks: Or your dad?
  Adult Gohan: Uh, yeah. Sure.
Gohan being so much like Piccolo as Trunks' mentor, in some cases saying word for word what Piccolo said to Gohan as a kid when training him. There's also Trunks describing Gohan's training methods as "dodgy".
Gohan: Dodge!
- As for the whole training, seems like a lot of a previous training session:
  Young Trunks: Help me, Mr. Gohan!
  Adult Gohan: Fly up!
  Young Trunks: The whirlpool's too strong, I can't swim!
  Adult Gohan: I said, FLY UP!
  Young Trunks: Maybe, I can build a raft!
  Adult Gohan: *Groans in annoyance*
While most of the scene with Future Chi-Chi saying she should be a grandmother with a Nobel Prize winning son is sad or creepy, Ox King asking for dinner ends up funny and pretty accurate.
Chi-Chi: Will dinner bring my husband back?!
Ox-King: Maybe?!
- Knowing Goku, Ox King might have sincerely meant that.
When Young Trunks asks Adult Gohan what Vegeta was like, the first thing Gohan remembers is Vegeta beating the crap out of him.
Vegeta: (As he is clobbering Gohan) So what?! You think having a dad as a Super Saiyan makes you better than me?!
Child Gohan: (As he is getting his shit kicked in) No!
Vegeta: (Continues to beat the shit out of Gohan) Wrong answer!
Adult Gohan: ...He had a lot to prove.
17 and 18 having a hell of a time at Super World all while "We Like to Party" by Venga Bus is playing. ^noteIt was the music that was playing in advertisements for Six Flags amusement parks a while back.
- And before that, the background music was the Millenial Fair.
18 gets bored of the rides. Gohan's response is... not well thought out.
Adult Gohan: If you're already bored, why not try taking a ride on my fist?
17: WOW, you, uh, want a minute to rephrase that there, chief?
Adult Gohan: Nope. I'd rather take that minute to kick your ass!
18: Okay now, see, that's better.
Adult Trunks narrating that the fights back in Gohan's time were filled with much more posturing and screaming.
This bit after 17 and 18 blow Super World to bits.
Adult Gohan: Oh, pain! Oh, everything's in pain! Everything but my left arm— (sees that his left arm is gone) Aw, man! (Starts crawling towards a downed Trunks) Too bad I'm not a Namekian. Be reeally handy right about now. But I'll just settle on the next best thing and use the Senzu Beans! (Sees that there is only one Senzu Bean) Bean. Singular. Aw, well that's disappointing...
- Then when Trunks caries Gohan back after Gohan uses his last bean on Trunks
  Trunks: [sheepishly] Hey, mom?...
  Bulma: [sighs] What is it Tru-OH MY GOD!
  Trunks: What do you know about reattaching arms?... That I can't find?...
  Bulma: Oh sweetie...
  - Later, she asks if he'd learned anything from the experience.
    Trunks: ...the only good cyborg is a dead cyborg?
    Bulma: (Sighs) You really are your father's son.
After Gohan heals up, he and Trunks get right back to training.
Adult Gohan: (While Trunks is trying to go Super Saiyan) Come on, Trunks! Just imagine losing someone or something close to you! Like your arm! Cause trust me, that really friggin sucks! (After Trunks vomits from the effort) Alright, take five.
Gohan now lives in the wastelands, just like a certain Namekian used to do.
Young Trunks: So Gohan, do you usually hang out in wastelands?
Adult Gohan: What do you mean? This is where I live.
Young Trunks: Oh, it's nice.
When Trunks wants to go help Gohan, we get this:
Young Trunks: Mr. Gohan you only have one arm! What can you do with one arm?
Adult Gohan: You know what, you're right. What can I do with only one arm?
Young Trunks: Thank you, Mr. Gohan. I will not let you dow- (Gets chopped in the back of the neck by Gohan)
Adult Gohan: That. I can do that with one arm. Now, what can I do to the cyborgs with one arm?
Piccolo: Use the Makankōsappō!
Adult Gohan: You never taught me that.
Piccolo: Uuuuse it…
Android 17 wanting to be a park ranger instead of being a killing machine. And then Gohan kicked him to a building.
17 *As he's falling from the building to the ground* You goddamn cheap son of a bitch! *Crashes on the ground*
18: *Laugh* He slapped your shit.
- This joke comes back in the Epilogue when Trunks clocks 18 into a different building.
This bit as 17 is about to fight Gohan.
17: (After getting smashed through numerous buildings) Okay, you know what? That's it! I'm killing every human! Every! One! Then I'm gonna range the shit out of that park.
We have this bit just before Gohan's about to take on 17 and 18.
Adult Gohan: No! This isn't where my story ends!
Trunks' Narration: This is where Gohan's story ends.
Gohan's thoughts as he is being blasted to bits.
Adult Gohan: Well, this is it, Mr. Piccolo. But at least we still have Trunks. I trained him just like you wanted.
Piccolo: You know I'm not actually here, right?
Adult Gohan: Aw… crapbaskets…
Bulma trying to find someone with black hair, muscular, not too tall, and likes working out.
Bulma gives Trunks her jacket to wear before he goes back in time, saying how the girls of that time will really like how it looks on him.
Apparently, Dr. Briefs took a spaceship out to go look for New Namek and thinks he's finally found it. Only it was FAKE Namek again, with the word "NEW" attached to the top.
During Bulma and Trunks' argument, the sound of Vegeta's rage-breaking, time-transcending scream all the way from Namek is heard.
Trunks: Listen, I'm stronger now! I'm a Super Saiyan!
Bulma: So was Gohan, and look how that turned out!
Trunks: Oh, so now you're just replacing Dad with Gohan?
Bulma: Trust me, I tried!
Trunks going into Inelegant Blubbering while ineffectually punching the Androids. The Androids comment that it's getting annoying.
Adult Trunks: You…! You…! You're evil! (Goes on to repeatedly punch 17 & 18 in the face, whom are unaffected)...Killed my master and you killed all those people…! (Still is fruitlessly punching away at 17 & 18) Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?! Why?!
How does Trunks survive his ill-fated battle with the Androids as a Super Saiyan? When 17 is preparing the finishing blast...
Android 17: Aw, who's a little survivor? You are, yes you are~! Let's fix that, shall we?
(17 prepares to blast Trunks, when 18 suddenly gets in the way).
Android 18: DIBS~
Android 17: SIS, GET OUT OF THE—!
(Cue explosion).
Android 18: Did you just friggn' blast me?!
Android 17: YOU STEPPED IN FRONT OF IT. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
Android 18: No, no, that's it! We're! Leaving!
Android 17: Oh, come on, sis… Sis, get back here!
Trunks' narration: I still have no idea how I survived.
- On a meta level, Android 17's "You stepped in front of it! What is wrong with you?!" sounds exactly like Gan bitching out his teammates back in the days of TFS Plays Classic.
Bulma realizing when Trunks goes back, he will actually get a chance to meet Goku and Vegeta.
Bulma trying to say how either her time and existence will be rewritten when Trunks changes the past or the multiverse theory is right and her life will remain unchanged, but a new world will come about because of Trunks's actions. About five seconds after Trunks left…
Bulma: Aaand multiverse theory it is. Shit!
Trunks' time machine is still the TARDIS and the credits music is a mashup of the Doctor Who theme and Cha-La Head Cha-La.
In The Stinger, Master Roshi, Oolong, and Puar are all safe from the Androids thanks to Roshi's sub, the USS M'Dick.
Roshi: Speaking of which...
Oolong: Oh, no...
Roshi: ...I've been meaning to ask...
Oolong: I knew it, I frickin' knew it!
Roshi: HOW DOES IT FEEL RIDIN' M'DICK?!
Oolong: Seventeen years! Seventeen years, you've been holding on to that one!
Roshi: You don't know the patience I have! Didn't answer my question, either.
Oolong: [resigned] It's tight and damp.
Roshi: EHHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE!!!
Puar: [Roshi cackling madly in the background] We're gonna die in here...
In a What Could Have Been form, Bulma successfully hits on Gohan, and in the Call-Back to episode 34, Gohan has sex with Bulma and shoots out a Masenko.
- Behind the scenes, Takahata101 admitted that Bulma and Gohan hooking up was his idea, and that he was so insistent on including it in the final cut that the scripting took an hour longer than it should've because of his persistence to have Gohan bang Bulma. During the 10th anniversary DBZA marathon with Team Four Star Lanipator admits to have been on Taka's side, but clearly not enough to push it through.
  Lani: Taka and I pushed for that to go much further.
  Taka: Ohhh—No! You don't get to say—you weren't on my—!
  Lani: You pushed harder but I was on your side!
  Taka: No! If you'd pushed the case I'd have gotten my way! Dammit dammit dammit!

SPECIAL #04: Plan to Eradicate Christmas

The opening of the movie is cold and foreboding, especially for DBZ Abridged... except when you're looking at the Canadian subtitles.
Santa Claus ^note Dr. Lychee : War...
[what is it good for]
Santa: Greed...
[What does Pot of Greed do?]
Santa: Pollution.
[Oh at least someone is talking about it...]
Santa: Destruction.
(Literally every year in DB for the past decade?)
Santa: The world has been overcome by naughtiness.
(Well Trump did become President)
Santa: It cannot be saved...
[Well then you're not trying hard enough]
Santa: It can only be culled...
(Uh... cold?)
Santa: Christmas... is ho... ho... ho-ver.
[This is gonna be filled with puns isn't it? Also, hover?]
- Followed by the subtitles immediately changing the title to "Plan to Eradicate Freeza Day".
When Gohan tries to wish Piccolo a happy holidays, Piccolo explains that he actually does celebrate Christmas despite being an alien. His reasoning?
Piccolo: Yeah, if you think about it I'm basically the son of God.
Kami: Oh, Jesus Christ.
Piccolo: (mentally) Kinda!
Nail: Waaait, so does that make me the Holy Spirit?
Kami and Piccolo: Kinda!
- On a related note, when Gohan says "Mr. Piccolo", it's subtitled in the Canadian subtitles as "Dad". After this conversation, Piccolo is usually subtitled as "Jesus Christ" and Gohan as "Son of Jesus". Furthermore, when Santa actually says "Jesus Christ" at one point, it is subtitled as "Piccolo". And on that note, during Piccolo's conversation with Kami and Nail, the two are referred to as "God" and "the Holy Spirit" respectively.
When the group is watching the news about how everyone is collapsing from the deadly air, the Fun with Subtitles wonders if the Supreme Kai of Time cooked something up again.
While analyzing the miasma covering the planet, Bulma discovers it's coal dust.
Trunks: So what, is someone trying to kill the whole world with miner's lung?
Goku: Be careful Gohan, you're a minor!
Gohan: I'm... surprised you knew that.
Goku: So is Piccolo. And Bulma!
Gohan: Oh. You meant character.
Goku: And Vegeta!
Vegeta: (walks into room) The f*ck I am.
- As a bit of Fridge Brilliance, due to technically only being a year or two older than Gohan, Piccolo is a minor!
Vegeta explains how, for Christmas, he would take pot shots at Santa's sleigh, but missed and hit Tarble's pod. They never found the body.
Trunks: I have an uncle?
Vegeta: You had an uncle.
- The English (Canada) subtitles refer to Vegeta as "DIRTY BROTHER-KILLER" for this line.
- It turns out that the main reason Santa wants to kill Vegeta is because Vegeta did manage to hit his sleigh once.
- Nevermind that Vegeta is carrying a huge, proud-of-himself type evil grin all the time Santa is talking to him.
Freeza summoning forth the old movie villains. Especially when it gets to Turles.
Freeza: Come forth, villians of Freeza Day past!
(Cooler forms)
Cooler: Brother, we agreed on villains of Christmas past.
Vegeta: Cooler!
Slug: Okay. So like, I showed up in July. I-I'm just here for revenge. You know... like—
Piccolo: SLUUUUUUUUUUG!!^note
Turles: And I'm more than happy to take another crack at this nut!
Goku: Dark me!
Turles: Dark you—(music cuts off) you remember me right?
Goku: Of course. Every time I look in the mirror.
Turles: No, I'm—
Vegeta: Turles, right?
Turles: Yes! (realizes who he's talking to) Oh my god, Prince Vegeta?
Vegeta: How's the tree doing?
Turles: Destroyed...
Vegeta: And this is why we don't let the lower class have nice things!
Gohan: And heeeeeere we go with the politics.
Freeza: So, monkeys!
Turles: Dude!
Gohan: And the racism!
Freeza and Cooler arguing over whether it's Freeza Day or Christmas Day.
Freeza: We're here to make this your last Freeza day on earth!
Cooler: (as the music quickly slows and stops) Seriously, it's always got to be about you, doesn't it?
Freeza: Well, that is what father said.
Cooler: He also said he loved us both equally.
Freeza: Well, you know how fond father was of jokes.
Cooler: And that's why he had you second, punchline!

Cooler: (To the Z-fighters) Lets just say you're getting more than a little coal for Christmas!
Freeza: Freeza Day!
Cooler: FUCK. OFF!
- Freeza's tone is just what sells it. You can savor how much he's loving to say that just so he can piss Cooler off.
Just after the above happens Trunks comments on how awkward the whole argument felt. Gohan just states this is just how Christmas is: a family reunion that usually has at least two relatives that don't get along at all and attempts (key word being attempt) to keep things civil until one or the other takes the piss out of each other and escalates the whole family squabble.
Bulma saves the gang from the ghosts of Turles, Slug, Freeza and Cooler by countering the Naughtiness Gas with Niceness from Baby Trunks' blood ("magic baby blood", as Goku calls it) while her ship is blaring Run–D.M.C.'s "Christmas in Hollis". After she does:
Freeza: (surprised) Did-did nobody shoot her?
Slug: Why didn't you?
Freeza: Because I have you fools!
Cooler: I'm sorry, dear brother, but I thought it was all about you.
Freeza: Oh, stop being a prick.
The sheer fact they turned Dr. Lychee and Hatchiyack into Santa Claus.
The reason for Santa's hate towards Trunks is due to him damaging the space-time continuum with his reckless time travelling.^* Trunks insists that this accusation is absurd... while the footage shifts between the modern movie and the original 1993 OVA.
Santa quickly gives up on summarizing Vegeta's sins and crimes:
Santa: And you, Vegeta! Jesus Christ. I-I mean, just— Wow! T-there is not enough time in the day. But what about we start with the hole you put in my sleigh?
Vegeta: HA! I did hit him!
Santa says that Goku's ceaseless lust for battle endangers not just his family, but also the entire universe on a regular basis. Goku takes issue with this, not seeing how he could be a threat to the entire universe. Cue a pop-up ad for Dragon Ball Super, specifically depicting the Tournament of Power, which started because of his lust for battle. Even discounting that, you can also refer back to the fact that the only reason why Zamasu, an equally dangerous threat, went on his crusade is because of Goku picking a fight with him.
- The fake pop-up ad was so well done that it managed to fool a fair share of the viewers, if the comments are anything to go by.
It turns out Gohan's on the nice list, so Santa jovially wishes him a merry Christmas gives him a present. And of course it's Moby-Dick... in French.
Santa uses some familiar lines after powering up.
Santa: You see Saiyans. You're not dealing with the average Father Christmas anymore.
Goku: Oh my god, he's gone Super Santa!
The dialogue during the Z-Fighters' battle with Super Santa is just one never-ending list of Christmas-themed one-liners, and it works far better than it should.
Santa: Prince of the Saiyans, yule regret your actions against the mighty Claus!
Vegeta: Ah, yule, like the log, right — (Santa charges towards him) OH, HOLY NIGHT—

(Vegeta fires a bunch of ki blasts at Santa...)
Vegeta: Yippee-ki-yay—
(...but it's not very effective.)
Vegeta: —motherfucker! ^note

Santa: You better watch out...
Vegeta: Ummm...
Santa: You better not cry...
Goku: (thinking) Oh, this is my jam!
[Santa: You better not pout... but you're gonna die!
Goku: (thinking) I don't like this version...
Santa: ♫Santa Claus is taking you down!♫ Garland Gun!
Vegeta: U WOT M8—
Santa: FIRE!
Vegeta: SHIT! (gets blasted out of the room and into a wall, upside down)
Trunks: ...Why did you just stand there?
Vegeta: (slurred) Heh heh... it was the last thing he'd expect.
Trunks: ...Merry Christmas, dad.

Santa: What child is this / who laid to rest / on Santa's lap is bleeding?!
(body slams Gohan through the floor)

Piccolo: Not really feeling the "goodwill towards men", up in here.
Santa: I'm all out of goodwill, but here's a stocking-stuffer for you!
Piccolo: Starting to get really sick of these Christmas pu—
(Santa shoots Piccolo with his beam)

Gohan: I'll punch your Christmas lights ou—
(Santa's fist flies into his face)

Goku: (as Gohan and Trunks are getting destroyed by Santa) Aw, man, this is bad! They're getting pa-rum-pum-pum-pummeled up there!

Goku: And now he's Feliz Navidead.
Gohan: Aaand that is the last Christmas pun.
- The English (Canada) subtitles react constantly poorly to all of these. Except for Goku's Chris-miffed joke.
The Z-Fighters' "The Reason You Suck" Speech they give Santa as they charge their attacks is more awesome than this as they shout about the true meaning of Christmas, except Vegeta saying the true meaning is about killing Santa. All to Trans-Siberian Orchestra's "12/24 Christmas Eve in Sarajevo".
- Vegeta blowing up Santa's first form ^noteDr. Lychee, and Goku getting upset.
  Vegeta: Got him! Merry Christmas to Vegeta!
  Goku: Vegeta, nooooo!
  Vegeta: Vegeta, YEEESSS!
  Piccolo: So, did we just... save Christmas...again?
  Goku: No. It's ruined. (crying) We killed Santa!
At the end, Chichi demands to know where Gohan and Goku have been all day.
Gohan: We went to go see Santa.
Chichi: Awww.
Vegeta: And we killed him!
Chichi: Ohhhh.
Krillin: Huh. Guess you had to be there. (moves on to the next subject)
In the midst of a heartwarming Christmas with the Z Fighters, Vegeta starts Boxing Day early... by punching Krillin.
- The background music for the heartwarming scene? A sedate, festive instrumental cover of "The Night Santa Went Crazy".

Funny / Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Movies

Previous

Index

Next

Funny / Dragon Ball Z Abridged - Movies

Edit Locked

Previous

Index

Next