"If [the reavers] take the ship, they'll rape us to death, eat our flesh, and sew our skins into their clothing. And, if we're very, very lucky, they'll do it in that order."
A common tag on to threats of sexual violence, mutilation and death, the phrase "in that order" works by implication of bizarre forms of punishment achievable by switching the order around. It can be used in a serious context to raise a scary threat to levels of Squick
or in a comedic context to just make the acts seem ridiculous.
Can be combined with Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking
, if the "final" punishment would be pretty inconsequential following the others.
It is also very common to simply imply the trope by stressing the word of ordering. God bless italics.
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Anime and Manga
- In the oft-forgotten manga version of Excel Saga, Excel at one point tells Hyatt, "You were in a tight spot back there, Ha-Chan! If I hadn't jumped in, you would a' been buried... then murdered... then defiled!" to which Hyatt can only respond, "In exactly that order?"
- In Dead Man the character Cole Wilson was known to have killed, fucked, and eaten his parents. In that order.
- In Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, the mermaids will take you to the bottom of the sea, drown you, then eat you. Sometimes, however, they will do it the other way around.
- From the original Planet of the Apes: "If they catch you, they will dissect you. And kill you. In that order."
- The first movie of Brazilian comedy group Casseta & Planeta: "Go out with your hands up and suicide! Not necessarily in that order!" (two character react with "They got us! We're FUBAR!" "Not necessarily in that order!")
- In Money Train, Wesley Snipes' and Woody Harrelson's characters get chewed out by their unhealthily aggressive supervisor for misconduct. Patterson (the supervisor) claims that if they screw up again, he's going to "fuck them dead". W & W then discuss and try to figure out if he meant fucking them before or after they're dead. They come to the conclusion that "Either way it's a pain in the ass". Later in the film, Wesley makes a point that they need to stay one step ahead of "That necrophiliac Patterson".
- In Hannibal this is referenced in the following exchange regarding Hannibal's interest in Special Agent Clarice Starling:
Mason Verger: "So what do ya think, Cordell? Does Lecter want to fuck her or kill her or eat her alive?"
Cordell: "Probably all three, though I wouldn't want to predict in what order."
- In The Running Man, Amber Mendez's friend tells her she was lucky to survive an encounter with Ben Richards: "You're lucky he didn't kill you, too. Or rape you, then kill you. Or kill you, then rape you."
- Commando has a variation in which John Matrix tells Sully that he'll kill him last. When he does kill him, it's nowhere near last; all he offers by way of explanation is "I Lied".
Live Action Television
- This quote from The War Against the Chtorr: "Life is short. Then you die. Then the worms eat you. Be grateful it happens in that order."
- Used a lot with "barbarian raider" types. "Remember, it's rape, pillage then burn."
- In Interesting Times, the bordering-on-senile Silver Horde have to be reminded of the proper order and that it's rape the women, burn the houses (though given their age, it's unlikely they'd have managed to rape either).
- Used for parody in The Horse and His Boy, when Lasaraleen says that any servants disobeying an order will "first be flogged to death and then be burned alive and after that be kept on bread and water for six weeks."
- The beginning of Mostly Harmless claims the following:
Anything that happens, happens.
Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen.
Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again.
It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though.
- In A Song of Ice and Fire, the sadistic Ramsay Snow likes to hunt women with dogs. If they are "lucky", and he thinks they put up a good fight, he'll kill them and then flay their skin and will name a dog after them. If they aren't lucky, he'll rape them and then flay them alive.
- In The Dresden Files, at one point, they run into Sigrun Gard, who had recently been disemboweled during a fight. Thomas comes to the conclusion that Gard had beaten up the opponents, and then gotten her wounds. Harry corrects him; she beat up a fallen angel while her guts were hanging out of her side.
- In "Valerie: A True Memoir", author Harlan Ellison recounts how someone had a habit of spreading rumors about him, then returns the favor by remarking, "What a nasty thing to say, particularly from a man who lures six-year-old boys into the basements of churches and then defiles, kills and eats them, not necessarily in that order."
- In the Cabin Pressure episode "Fitton", Arthur tells his mother Carolyn that his father asked after her and the plane, but not in that order.