Funny / Dragon ShortZ

The weather forecast for tonight: clear starry skies with a chance of angry Saiyan princes.

While the heroes of Dragon Ball Z Abridged might not be faced with as much rapid-fire martial arts slapstick in this series, there's obviously still plenty of comedy to be had in Dragon ShortZ.

Warning: Spoilers Off applies to these pages. Proceed at your own risk.

Episodes

Episode 1: Two and a Half Saiyans

• Vegeta has to watch over baby Trunks as Bulma is on a business trip. When he asks over the phone "How hard can it be to look after a single infant?", Baby Trunks looks at the camera with an evil smile.
  • Just in case anything goes south, Bulma's contacted Trunks' "uncle" for extra help. Vegeta is definitely not thrilled about it.
    Vegeta: What do you mean you called his uncle? You don't have a brother-
    Nappa: (violently kicks in the door) VEGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-TAAAAAAA!
    Vegeta: (With Wide Eyes and Shrunken Irises) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO—!
    (Smash Cut to opening credits)
  • Nappa kicking the door open startles Vegeta enough that he crushes his smartphone while in mid-call. Bulma must've been at a loss to the disconnection and what's happening at home.
• Nappa reminiscing taking care of a baby Vegeta.
  Nappa: Oh my God, he's so tiny! I remember when you were this tiny. God, I could punt you so far.
  Vegeta: ... You mean "could've".
  Nappa: (stammers) W-where's his tail?
  • Vegeta gives his answer to the above: Bulma had Trunks' tail removed at birth without Vegeta's prior knowledge or consent. Nappa can't believe that Vegeta did nothing to intervene.
    Vegeta: I wasn't there!
    Nappa: You are a bad dad, and a terrible partner.
    Vegeta: I will kill you again.
• Nappa's parenting advice to Vegeta:
  Nappa: Tip #1: whatever you do... (gains live-action lips) ...Don't. Shake. The baby.
  Vegeta: (beat) What.
  Nappa: Don't grab him under the arms and shake the shit outta him while screaming "You're weak! And worthless! AND YOU'LL NEVER BE KING! MUHAHAHAHAHA!"
  Vegeta: [genuinely confused] Why... why would I-?
  Nappa: Trust me, it'll give him a complex. Tip #2: don't force-feed him coffee. It'll stunt his growth.
  Vegeta: These tips are oddly specific, did-
  Nappa: Kid's flying out the window.
  Vegeta: (runs to catch a giggling Baby Trunks) SHIT!
  Nappa: (smirking) He yeeted himself.
  (Vegeta returns with Trunks, panting)
  Nappa: Maybe shake him a little.
  • Really, just the implication that Nappa and/or King Vegeta's old parenting styles are responsible for many of Vegeta's underlying issues. One can only wonder what other odd "tips" Nappa had in mind.
  • Also the continuing implication that a lot of what went wrong in the final days of the Saiyan Empire were Nappa's fault. King Vegeta walked into a meeting with Freeza completely unprepared for treachery? Nappa. Broly's execution? Nappa. Prince Vegeta's many, many, many issues? Rule of Three, ladies and gentlemen.
  • A Freeze-Frame Bonus: the coffee Nappa holds up in this scene is Sensu bean-flavored. Somehow.
• When Trunks starts crying, Vegeta screams at him to stop crying. He collapses...and Trunks is still crying.
  Vegeta: H-he out-screamed me! Nobody out-screams Vegeta!
  Nappa: Silver medal once agaaaaain.
• Vegeta's attempt at changing Baby Trunks' diaper... only for Baby Trunks to blast Vegeta through the ceiling in the middle of it. With a Final Flash, no less.
  Nappa: Hey look, Vegeta! He's got your stream! (to Trunks) ...What are they feeding you?
  Baby Trunks: (belches)
  • Before that, we have this brief bit of Toilet Humor where Nappa explains to Vegeta what to do next. Vegeta's response:
    Vegeta: …Shit.
    Nappa: (enthusiastically) That's the idea!
• While putting baby Trunks to bed, Nappa is shown reading from a book called "How Freeza Stole Christmas", which he says is the story of how Christmas was converted into Freeza Day.
• This oddly sweet-yet-in-character line from Vegeta:
  Vegeta: You know, when he's sleeping, for some reason... all I wanna do is kill anything that might touch him.
• The episode almost ends on a calm note with Vegeta actually showing his loving side watching over a sleeping Trunks... only for Nappa to ruin the moment by snapping a picture of it and muttering about how he's going to post it to his Spacetagram. Cue this version of Vegeta saying a Catchphrase we haven't heard from him in quite a while...
  Vegeta: GOD DAMMIT, NAPPA!
  (cut to Capsule Corp exterior)
  Vegeta: GET BACK HERE!
  Nappa: #DaddysLittleBoy!
  Vegeta: DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW!
  Nappa: #PapaVeggie!
  Vegeta: #GALICKGUN...!
  (the windows begin to glow)
  Nappa: Whoa boy! (beat) Aaaaaaand post!
  Vegeta: FIIIIIIIIIIIIIRE!
  (the blast destroys the door, car alarms blare and Trunks starts crying again)
  Vegeta: [sounding completely defeated] ... Oh, goddammit.
  Nappa: #YouMissed!
  • To top it all off, the music for this scene is the same peaceful and homely music that played earlier in the short.
• The ending card, a "family" photo... that includes Nappa, resulting in a very disgusted Vegeta. Also, there's something weirdly hilarious about it being set to a jingle version of "Romantic Ageru Yo".^note The Bulma-centric first ending of Dragon Ball

Episode 2: Midwife Crisis

• Gohan's growing exasperation while Chi-Chi is giving birth.
• Piccolo visits to see humans' birthing process. He regrets it.
  Piccolo: ...I hear there's no egg involved, which, I mean, what do you even sit on for the— WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?
  Gohan: That's a vagina, Mr. Piccolo.
  Piccolo: Gohan, it's preparing an attack, get behind me!
  Gohan: That's my little brother's head!
  Piccolo: ...Super Kami Dende, I can't do this.
  Gohan: What!?
  Piccolo: I can't do this! I cannot do this!
  Gohan: How can't you handle this!? You died for me!
  Piccolo: And I would agaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain! (flies off)
  Gohan: You coward!
  • As it turns out, Goten was preparing an attack on his way out of the womb, if unintentionally.
• Yamcha showing up, and leaving when he sees that Chi-Chi is giving birth and is screaming at him to Get Out!.
  Yamcha: Okay! Wolf Fang Bye!
  Gohan: Could you please not send away the help?
  Chi-Chi: I. DIDN'T.
  Gohan: Oh.
• The Running Gag of how Goten somehow was able to have a full head of Anime Hair despite still being in the womb.
• Vegeta and Bulma show up and are as startled when they see Goten's head in the middle of labor.
  • Vegeta and Bulma get into a small argument, with the latter telling him he's a bad father and a terrible partner.
  Vegeta: ...Why does everybody keep saying that?
• Vegeta's wearing a "BADMAN" T-shirt, with the text in the front this time. Even funnier, this is the first time the word has appeared on Vegeta's clothing, when the original pink Badman shirt had the word replaced with other gags.
• When Goten is about to be born, Gohan tries to get her to push, but then a blue energy gathers in a form of the Kamehameha, prompting Vegeta to tell Gohan and Bulma to get down. And then Chi-Chi shoots Goten out so hard, he crashes through the wall and comes to a stop several yards away from the house. Baby Goten then giggles, unharmed.

Episode 3: Android Date-Teen

• The restaurant is named "L'Anus Serré" - in English, "The Tight Anus."
  • It gets better- this is a Continuity Nod. It was the same restaurant that Krillin was going to take Marron to, and we also saw it get attacked by Cell.
• 18 isn't too concerned about fancy stuff, saying that the last things in her wallet before Dr. Gero captured her was 1600 Zeni, a joint, and a gift card for Spencer's gifts. She later "tips" the rude waiter with the Spencer's card and smokes the joint outside afterwards. Turns out the card's expired.
• Technically 18 doesn't need to eat, but in her words: "Would you call a life without burgers living?"
• Master Roshi, in his Jackie Chun disguise, is spying on Krillin and 18's date. Or trying to get with a woman. Or both.
• While deciding on appetizers 18 and Krillin find out they have a shared sense of humor.
  Krillin: I was never into clams myself.
  18: You definitely don't seem like a shellfish guy.
  Krillin: Was that a pun?!
  18: No, you're right. You do look like a shrimp.
  Krillin: Oh my God!
  18: Sorry, but it was right there.
  Krillin: Honestly, I was not expecting this sense of humor.
  18: Why? Because I'm half robot?
  Krillin: No! Because you're a skinny blonde!
  18: OH DAMN!
• Their waiter starts hitting on 18 right in front of Krillin - Krillin is too absorbed in the menu to notice.
  • Krillin expresses interest in starting with a white chocolate souffle, then promptly veers into a tangent about white chocolate, ending with "we already have 'white chocolate'; it's called 'vanilla'."
  • Krillin also didn't need to intervene, as 18 is more than capable of holding her own.
    Samuel: I get off at 10 - and then I can get you off at 10:30.
    Krillin: What is he-
    18: Alright... Sammy. Three things. First? You wouldn't make it past 10:05. Second, you wouldn't live past 10:06. Third? We're still waiting on our waters. So, if you value your job and/or life, you're gonna take this knife, (presses the blade to his throat) cut the bullshit, and get us our goddamn Pellegrino.
    Krillin: Holy-
    Samuel: Shit!
    • Samuel then mutters that 18 didn't need to be such a "monster bitch" about it - prompting Krillin to stand up and insist that he apologize for the comment. Unlike other instances, however, the waiter's refusal makes Krillin quickly enter into Tranquil Fury, prompting him to smash the table in one punch - the waiter immediately apologizes. Krillin blithely hands him his savings "for the table", and 18 gives him his tip - in the form of the (now-expired) gift card.
• Krillin slips up and reveals he knows 18's real name, which leads him to begin the tale of how he killed (Present) Cell.
  Krillin: So we go searching for Gero's sub-lab, right?
  18: *sighs* Of course that creep had a sub-lab.
• The waiter bragging how he can get 18 off within 30 minutes. Now recall that Krillin and 18 went at it for pretty much day until night and SHE, the Perpetual-Motion Monster, was the exhausted one by the end of their marathon.
  • Knowing this, and that Krillin has more stamina than Goku, and the waiter's bragging is just hilarious in a pitiful way.

Episode 4: Yamcha Strikes Out

• The episode opens up to Yamcha scoring a homerun strong enough to soar all the way to Bulma's house, breaking a window, disturbing Trunks, and pissing off Vegeta.
  Vegeta: MOTHERFU-
• The only people in the crowd for Yamcha's game are Master Roshi (who is asleep), Puar, Android 18 (who looks very bored), and Krillin (the only person to appear entertained, and likely more out of pity than anything else). "The crowd goes wild" indeed.
• Mr. Wolf Fang Fist's teammates are Funny Animals, just in case "Bearly There" wasn't enough of a reminder of them.
• Yamcha is being fired because Victory Is Boring.
  Coach: Nobody wants to watch Mr. Satan enter a kids' karate championship!
  Owner: ...I'd watch that.
  Coach: Yeah, but only a psychopath would watch that more than once... right?
  • In a Funny Background Event, when the owner goes to turn off the radio, a picture of him with Nappa is visible.
• The moment Yamcha finds out that he is getting fired he becomes distraught. Then he also finds out he is being let go with 20 billion zeni, and he isn't banned from sponsorship deals or promotional tie-ins. Then his "Cat Loves Food" music starts playing in this moment before being revealed to be played on the radio behind his boss.
• After establishing his successful chain of sports bars, Yamcha lets his friends eat there for free. And also Vegeta.
• After the news program in the ending covers Yamcha's subsequent financial successes, it previews an upcoming special on the Jackie Chun, ending with the question of where he disappeared to. Cue Master Roshi waking up long after the match... and implicitly long after Puar, Krillin, and Android 18 have left. With no ride, how does he leave? HE SUMMONS BABY GAMERA LIKE IT WAS THE FLYING NIMBUS! And he has it fly him to the titty bar.

Episode 5: DTF

• The thumbnail for the episode◊ has Vegeta breaking a hole through Gohan's wall a la Jack Torrance, yelling "FIGHT ME!" (in an Ace Attorney-esque font).
• The fact Vegeta spends the entire episode wearing the most "dad-esque" clothes (blue shirt and khakis) out of all things.
• Gohan threatening Vegeta in Chinese after Vegeta asks why he's learning it. "In thirty years, you'll know."
  • Gohan threatens Vegeta further by telling him that his screaming will wake up baby Goten and force him to deal with Chi-Chi's wrath. Vegeta backs off and flies out of sight.
    Gohan: Bye, Vegeta.
• Gohan agrees to fight Vegeta on the condition that he buy some pears Gohan forgot. That turns out to just be a distraction, since Gohan takes off once Vegeta goes into the store.
  Vegeta: PAIRS OF WHAT?!
• As seen in the picture above, Vegeta's crudely written "FIGHT ME!" sign after he blows up Comet Camori (accompanied by the Final Flash theme). He even drew a little frowny face on it.
• In order to get Vegeta to leave him alone, Piccolo shoots a beam at a nearby urn, destroying it, then loudly acts as though Vegeta destroyed it. Upon hearing Popo's voice, Vegeta quickly flies off the Lookout, after which Piccolo fires another beam at the urn, repairing it, then muses about making himself a bed.
  Popo: WHO JUST BROKE RULE SIX?!
  Vegeta: I will remember this, Namekian.
  Piccolo: Please do.
  • Vegeta's pupils shrink when he hears Mr. Popo.
  • For once we don't get to hear the internal dialogue between Piccolo, Nail, and Kami as one of them gives him the idea. And also for once, we see the perspective of those who believe he's talking to nobody. The subtitles reveal the exchange, however.
    Kami: I got an idea.
    Piccolo: Hm?
    Kami: Destroy that pot and blame it on Vegeta.
    Piccolo: Huh... Think that'd work?
    Vegeta: Uuumm...
    Kami: Yes, it'll be hilarious!
    Piccolo: Yeah, I guess it'd be pretty funny.
    Vegeta: Who are you talking to-?
    Nail: Ooh, this is gonna be good!
• Vegeta also tries to pick a fight with Android 18, and while she doesn't oblige his request for a battle, she still manages to give him one hell of a beating.
  Android 18: You beat your kid and ignore your wife. And when you're not doing that, you're trying to start fights with people because of your screaming ego. You remind me of my dad, but at least he had the common courtesy to stay dead. So take your massive inferiority complex the hell off our beach and maybe I'll fight you again someday when you stop acting like such a massive… c*nt.
  • 18 also reveals she owes a lot of people a lot of things. Mostly money, one person an organ, and one person a live tiger.
  Krillin: Yeah, your brother keeps calling about that.
  • Vegeta has a Flat "What" face when 18 mentions the organ.
  • 18 gets two digs in at Vegeta; one is the aforementioned verbal beating, and the other...well...
  Lazuli: (cheerfully) Hey, Vegeta! How are the arms?
  Vegeta: (low voice, holding his arm) They're fine...(stammers and shakes his head) NEVER MIND! GET OUT HERE! YOU OWE ME A REMATCH!
• According to Vegeta, Tien has completely gone off the grid.
• Gohan tries to suggest that Vegeta fight Yamcha, but can't even finish his sentence before Vegeta threatens to blow his house up. Considering that Yamcha now owns Hetap, it's not hard to see why.
• Nappa's response to seeing thirty-seven missed calls from Vegeta?
  Nappa: (Setting the phone down) Not pulling the pin on THAT grenade...
  • Bonus: the photo that shows up on Nappa's phone when Vegeta calls is a troll doll.
  • You could say that Nappa is… ghosting Vegeta.
• The outro card is the Brick Joke of Piccolo sleeping in a proper bed like he said he would. Cue a faint but very distinct pair of eyes in the darkness slide in to watch him as he sleeps...

Episode 6: Three's a Crowd

• Roshi shows up Naked on Arrival in the morning, asking if Krillin and Lazuli/18 want pancakes for breakfast.
  Roshi: Clothes ruin my mornin' flow! You know that! Now, do you want any chocolate chips? If so, prepared to get blitzed, 'cause they are hella packed with THC!
  Lazuli/18: ...We need to move.
  • Becomes even funnier at the end of the episode, when Lazuli/18 says that the only reason she said no to the pancakes is because she's pregnant.
• When Roshi turns to head downstairs, the pixillation in front of his crotch actually turns with him.
• Lazuli/18 is hanging laundry and finds a hoodie Roshi's owns that says "No Fat Chicks". She's exasperated by it before she flips it around and it reads "On Top."
  Lazuli/18: That's...better?
• Lazuli and Lapis Birthday at Kame House:
  • Roshi giving Lazuli/18 the lingerie that he made Launch, Krillin, and Goku wear back in the day.
  • Krillin wondering if his still fit, and the looks Lazuli/18 and Lapis/17 give him.
  • Lazuli/18 actually wears that specific pair of lingerie in the next flashback!
• What ”pales in comparison to the shit he pulled last month” started with both Lazuli/18 and Krillin about to get intimate, only to discover Roshi is secretly filming them. He burns it to a DVD titled "Under 18 and Perfectly Legal". And given what 18 establishes later in the episode, it means that Roshi got Marron's conception on video.
  Lazuli/18: ...Is that a f[beep]ing camera?!
  Roshi: (from downstairs) STOP BREAKING THE SCENE!
  (back to present)
  Krillin: (holding up the DVD) To be fair, the production value on this was incredible!
  (Lazuli/18 snatches the DVD and breaks it)
  Krillin: Aw! I was really good in that one!
  Lazuli/18: Yes, you were. Not the point!
• Lazuli/18 and Lapis/17 aren't on good terms because he wanted a male tiger for his island and she sent him a tiger man named Tony.
  • Lapis/17 had to Double Take when he realized his name was similar to a certain tiger mascot with the same name.
    Lazuli/18: Tony is a pretty common name.
    Lapis/17: STOP DROPPING FURRIES ON MY ISLAND!
• While Lazuli/18 and Krillin having a baby is incredibly heartwarming, Roshi ends up ruining the moment by asking when will her boobs start getting bigger. Lazuli ends up threatening Roshi that she'll kill him if they're still on the island and their future daughter hits puberty, which Roshi is fairly nonchalant about.
  Roshi: Eh. I've had a good run. (eats a pancake)

Specials

A SHORT Halloween

• The special takes advantage of its non-canon status to give us some very special costumes...
  • Goku is a furry, but gets a bit too into the role, asking for "candy wandy" and dancing to Caramelldansen. When he finally gets some chocolate, he wonders if it's even safe for dogs to eat chocolate. Until getting tackled by 16, that is.
  • Vegeta is a vampire, and takes offense to being called "cute" because apparently Bulma told him vampires are supposed to be badass and sexy. His chibi form also means that Bulma is mistaken for his mother, to which he angrily responds that she's his wife.
    Vegeta: Why are you staring at me like that?
  • Cell is initially mistaken for a mummy, but it turns out some kids just TPed him. He then politely asks to use the homeowner's bathroom to clean up.
  • Android 16 is Frankenstein ^note Frankenstein's Monster, actually and asks the homeowner if he has any Marshmallow Peeps. He does, but only the Halloween-themed ones (i.e. the ones not shaped like birds). After processing this, 16 asks if the homeowner has any Gokus.
    • The baskets for Cell and Android 16 are Cell's egg and Android 19's head, respectively.
  • Beerus just demands all the candy outright under threat of blowing up the homeowner's house. Except Mounds bars. He'll wipe out humanity if you give him a Mounds bar.
  • Kid Buu gets angry when there's no more candy and just turns the homeowner into some.

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