Funny: Dragon Ball Z Abridged: Namek/Freeza Saga
Funny moments from movies, specials, and miscellaneous moments here
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- Gohan's extreme calling out to his mother, Chi-Chi in episode 11:
Well, all I know is that my little boy isn't going anywhere. Gohan:
Actually... Mom... I'm going to Namek. Chi-Chi:
(strained) As... I... Said. My little boy (now angry) ISN'T... GOING... ANYWHERE!! Gohan:
But, mom! Piccolo died for me! It's my responsibility! Chi-Chi:
am your mother!
And as your mother,
you will listen to me and you will do as I say! Gohan:
But that's not... Chi-Chi:
carry around a baby in you for nine months... WITH A MAN WHO LITERALLY THOUGHT YOU HAD CINNA-BUNS HIDDEN IN YOUR SHIRT?! Gohan:
But I... Chi-Chi:
Now you are going to lay in this hospital bed! Recover like a normal boy! And then, you're going right back to your advanced trig classes, AND THAT IS THE LAST WE WILL...! Gohan:
(pissed) SHUT YOUR F**KING FACE!!! beat Gohan:
(calm) I'll be going to Namek now. Chi-Chi:
(calm, too) You'd best. (slams door as she leaves the hospital)
- Everything Mr. Popo says in episode 11.
- And his explanation for how the carpet travels so fast.
- Season 2 gives us Goku's reaction to Popo.
- Mr. Popo's explanation for why simply shouting his name makes the spaceship do whatever he wants it to do at the time.
Mr. Popo: It just knows better.
- Turns out it works for everyone else too.
- While Bulma and Dr Briefs are fixing the Namekian ship.
Bulma: Hey Dad, how are things coming along?
Briefs: Well I'm working on your translator but all I can get it to do is translate the Namekian into another language I don't understand.
Briefs: Damn moon speak!
Krillin: So, you sure this thing's ready to fly?
Bulma: Yep, I've gotten everything worked out. Well, except for one thing. We couldn't fix the translator for the toilet.
- Krillin's inner monologue at the start of the episode:
Krillin's Log, stardate... uh... November 28th. We've been flying for two weeks now, and I'm starting to feel very tensed up. Not just for being trapped on the ship of course, but from Bulma walking around in nothing but her underwear! I would relieve this tension
, but I've had no alone time SINCE THE TOILET KEEPS SCREAMING AT ME!!
I'm not sure how much longer I can last... Toilet:
Scheiße auf meinem gesicht!note Bulma:
Krillin, are you saying something? Krillin:
Nothing! <muttering> God-damned <beep>tease!!
- The Fake Namekians are arguably funnier than the source material. Exploiting the already existing similarities is hilarious enough, but the voice-over work is extremely spot-on even given the standards of this series, and the TFS-style editing only amplifies each punchline.
- Vegeta realizing how Freeza found out about the dragon balls.
The scouter was on the entire time! Vegeta:
That's impossible, my transmitter was off the entire time! Whose scouter was... (eyes focus, cuts away to him riding a space pod screaming:) GODDAMMIT NAPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
- When Krillin hears the fake Namekians talk about their penises:
- The narrator's description of Namek echoing the opinion of the fanbase:
: [...] Planet Namek. Where the sky is green, the grass is blue, and it's boring as sh*t
- Roshi, on the telephone: "Could you speak up? I'm not wearing any pants."
- Roshi delivering the news of whats going on on Namek to Goku in the hospital.
: And not only is Vegeta on the planet, but apparently someone else is there, even stronger than him! So in short, shit be whack, yo!
Goku: Fo' shizzle, Master Rizzle!
- Every line uttered by Krillin in this episode.
(After successfully hiding from the onslaught of Freeza's forces.
(after being asked several times if he felt Freeza and his men's power levels) Krillin: Yes Gohan, I noticed! On the bright side, I no longer have to pee anymore
- After dealing with Bulma being a total cocktease on the ship, Krillin... releases some tension and takes ten whole minutes for it. When Bulma goes into the cave to set up camp...
Bulma: Oh God, it's everywhere!!
- The final moments of the episode, narrated by LittleKuriboh:
Narrator: A new evil has revealed its face. Who are these mysterious enemies, and do Gohan and Krillin stand a chance? The answers to these questions will be revealed... right now. Zarbon, Dodoria, Freeza, and Oh My, No.
Krillin: Wait, wha-
- Oh, the joke goes much farther than that. Originally, in order to avoid being caught by Dodoria, Krillin pretends to be a space duck by yelling "Quack!" over and over. After being caught, he yells a parting quack as he and Gohan take Dende away. Much later on, Goku arrives on Namek. As he goes on about the planet's beauty and splendor, he hears Krillin's anguished cries of pain... and thinks it's a space duck. He only catches on to the plight when Krillin gives out a pathetic "Quack".
- When Freeza appears after Porunga is summoned, Krillin tries to fool him into believing he is a Space Duck... While he's standing directly in front of Freeza.
Freeza: Well Vegeta, you've finally pulled it off. You've managed to dash my hopes entirely... With some help, I see...
Gohan: Krillin, seriously not helping.
Krillin: I can try...
- Every response from Freeza and co. when the Namekian villagers did something to anger them.
Why are you here? Why are you killing our people? Freeza:
Well, you see, I was just in the area and I thought this would be a delightful
place for a summer home what the f*** do you think I'm here for!? Namekian Elder:
Our... trees? Freeza:
...Zarbon, two or three more. Zarbon:
Two or three more? Freeza: Two or three more.
- Freeza making a mental list of the cliches used in every heroic speech he hears.
Namekian: We're going... to... f*** your face!
Freeza: [laughs] Oh my! ...Twelve.
- The muffin button. That is all.
Goku: This ship is awesome! Now, where's that button that makes blueberry muffins?
Dr. Briefs: There is no button like that. I never even considered it.
Goku: Are you sure? It'd be really nice to wake in the morning, push a button, and have muffins. That'd be great. Wink wink?
Dr. Briefs: Dammit, there is no muffin button!
Krillin: Breathe, Gohan! You're a leaf. A leaf in a calm stream!
Gohan: (pissed) F██K THE STREAM!
- Goku has blasted off into space.
Dr. Briefs: You're incredibly lucky I already set the coordinates for Namek, but you, (Goku has a muffin) you... Where did you get that muffin?
Goku: Muffin button.
Dr. Briefs: But...I...never installed a muffin button.
Goku: (thoughtfully) Then where did I get this muffin...?
- Vegeta's reaction to Dodoria's true gender:
I said I am
a woman!! *beat* Vegeta: WHAT!?!?!
- What compounds the hilarity is that the second "What" sounds like (and probably is) Lanipator's real voice.
- And this:
And that's why I was considered the most beautiful, and
fertile, woman on my home planet. Before Freeza blew it up. Vegeta:
He tends to do that. Also, huuuugh.
W-w-wait! You and I... we could team up against Freeza! Rule the Universe! ... as husband and wife!
- Most of what Dende says, but particularly this exchange.
- The beginning. The audience knows what's about to happen, and the happy music and cheerful outlook of the Namekians make the coming slaughter of them by Vegeta all the more hilarious.
- The flashback of Freeza and Zarbon's conversation in which Freeza observes how badly things have been going on Namek.
You know, Zarbon, I'm starting to think that my people don't know what I pay them for. Zarbon:
pay us. Freeza:
(hurriedly) Allow them to live for. I mean first we lose...what was his name? Zarbon:
Ah, Kiwi. Then we lose all of our scouters, and now Dodoria's dead? I'm sorry, but if this sh*t goes any further south, we're going to hit Space Mexico
What is it you want me to do, Lord Freeza? Freeza:
What I want YOU to do is pull up your frilly stockings, tighten your thong, and stop being such a... Vegeta:
[back to the present] Pansy! Zarbon:
Wha-? [bumps into Vegeta] Vegeta, how dare you ram into me while I'm thinking about Lord Freeza and my thong! Vegeta:
Yeah, just going to ignore that entirely.
- This exchange after Zarbon transforms.
IMMA RAPE YA, BITCH! Vegeta:
To be honest, you're not that different. You're just a lot less subtle about i-(Zarbon rushes Vegeta)-OHMYGOD!
- Anything Guru said in the episode 16...
Guru: I have a bitch of an itch on my left ass chee...[sees Krillin] Naaaaaail. There is an albino Namekian in here. Kill it like the rest.
Krillin: Actually sir, I'm from Earth.
Guru: ...Kill it like the rest.
Guru: [Take the Dragon Ball]. Just don't steal the TV.
Nail: Sir, we... we don't have a television.
Guru: ...Naaaaail. Gather the rest of the Dragon Balls and wish for a plasma TV.
Nail: Sir, that would be a grievous misuse of their power.
Guru: I'm about to misuse my hand upside your heeeeaaaad!
Guru: So, the son of Katas has passed. Unfortunate.
Krillin: We just called him Kami.
Guru: Oh, so he calls himself God. Pretentious prick. Nail.
Guru: I shall henceforth be known as: Super Kami.
Nail: Yes, Super Kami.
Guru: No, wait- Super Kami Guru.
Nail: Can I just call you Guru for short?
Guru: Super Kami Guru allows this.
Guru: Nail... prepare to retrieve the dragon ball... and the body.
- This exchange:
Krillin: Aw, you made a friend, Little Green? Oh, I know, I'm gonna call you "Big Green"!
Nail: Call me that again and I'll snap your neck.
Krillin: With that attitude, I don't think you should be friends with him, Little Green.
Nail: Listen, I don't care where you come from or who you are, I will not put up with such disrespe-
Guru: BIG GREEEEN! Get in here...
Nail: (irritated) Oh, good... goddamnit!'
- Krillin telling Dende about karma while Vegeta is being beaten up by a transformed Zarbon
Krillin: Huh. Hey, Little Green, do you believe in Karma?
Dende: What is that?
Krillin: Well, you see, Karma is where if you do something good...
(Que to Zarbon beating up Vegeta): URGH!
(Que to Vegeta getting even more beaten by Zarbon): GAAH!
Dende: So, if I am good enough, then I can have my family back.
Krillin: Are you still on about that?
- Freeza pointing out the Villain Ball of Zarbon's choice.
Zarbon: Lord Freeza, the dirty deed has been done.
Freeza: Ah, very good. It’s nice to see there’s still somebody I can rely on.
Zarbon: Oh, he barely put up a fight after I transformed. Now that he’s dead, we have very little left to worry about.
Freeza: (sucks his teeth) Zarbon, about an hour ago, a scout informed me that an entire village was completely destroyed. Do you possibly know who could have done that?
Freeza: Aaaand, unlike all the other villages we visited so far, there was no Dragon Ball there. Do you know who could have possibly taken it?
Freeza: Veeeery good! Now, use your brain for this one, Zarbon. If somebody were to know where that Dragon Ball was, who would it be?
Freeza: Vegeta, yes. And you said you… killed him?
Zarbon: Wait, sir! It is possible I just left him unconscious!
Freeza: Oh, good. And where did you leave him?
Zarbon: ...At the bottom of a lake...
Freeza: ...Minion forty-three, would you come in here for a second? I need an example.
: Private Namole reporting. An example of what, Lord Freez— (is blown into atoms)
Freeza: You see that, Zarbon? That’s you if Vegeta is not in front of me in the next ten minutes.
Zarbon: (flies out) AAAAAAAHHHH!
Vegeta: I've got a lovely bunch of Dragon Balls, dodododoodo, here they are all sitting in a bunch, do doo do. One Star, Two Star, all as big as my head! Give em a toss, a planet across, that's how Vegeta wins BU-BYE!
- And after that, him hiding in the water, complete with submarine noises:
- The glorious return of Ghost Nappa:
Ghost Nappa: (whistles) Is this thing on? Is it on? (tuning noises) OK, there we go! A-HA-HEM!! You are now thinking about what Zarbon did to you while you were unconscious. Have fun with that.
- Freeza and Zarbon's Innocent Innuendo. Let this be a lesson to you, kids. Context is EVERYTHING.
Ginyu, quick; double time! Zarbon really screwed the pooch on this one! Zarbon:
Lord Freeza! Vegeta's really giving us a pounding! Freeza:
I'm coming Zarbon! Quick, grab my balls! Beat Ginyu Force:
- Krillin (and later Gohan): "I got a Dragon Ball!"
- Krillin Tempting Fate pretty badly.
Krillin: At least we have a Dragon Ball!
* Vegeta lands*
Vegeta: Hi there! I'm taking your Dragon Ball.
Vegeta: Now I just have to lay low, and not fly around like a jackass screaming-
Krillin: I've got a Dragon Ball!
Vegeta: ...I was gonna say "come and get me Freeza," but that works too!
- Bulma being distracted by Zarbon.
Oh my God he's so hot! I just want to grab him and —
(Cut to Goku doing upside-down crunches) Goku:
, seventy, seventy- Vegeta:
-one time you've defeated me, Zarbon. And that's one time too many.
- Goku: "I'm gonna beat someone up!" and "I'm gonna beat him up!" and "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!"
- Zarbon is straight and acts really surprised if someone calls him gay. And even so, Zarbon still acts like he's gay.
Lord Freeza, I really need to use the Space Skype
Zarbon, what could possibly be so important that you need to interrupt me during my call? Zarbon:
Well, I need to call my girlfriend
Well, I—(glances over his shoulder in shock)
Ginyu, I'll call you back. (disconnects Space Skype and drops back down to floor level)
...come again? Zarbon:
You see, our one-year anniversary is coming up, and I want to see where she
wants to go so we can make reservations early. Freeza:
Oh... and all this time I could've sworn you were...never mind. Zarbon:
What? You thought I was single? Freeza:
Well, no, I just... I thought you were into... you know, it really doesn't matter. Zarbon:
Well it matters to me, because, frankly it sounds like you thought I was— Random Minion:
Lord Freeza! Vegeta's broken out of the healing—TAAAAANK! (dies by ki blast) Freeza:
Oh no, that minion died. Could you go fix that? We'll continue this conversation never. Zarbon:
...did he say something about Vegeta? (explosion) Freeza:
Zarbon, who did you leave guarding him? Zarbon:
... (Cut to the wrecked lab and what's left of Appule) Freeza: APPULE
?! You left Appule
Well I thought he could handle it! Freeza:
Appule couldn't handle a shot of raspberry schnapps, much less Vegeta!
- King Kai's telepathic "call" to Goku.
Hello Goku? Do you hear me? I swear to God, if this is George Takei
again, I'm gonna shove a brick up the Verizon guy's ass! Goku:
- King Kai then proceeds to order Goku to stay away from Freeza, warning him about his incredible power. Goku gets more and more excited about the prospect of fighting him until King Kai makes Goku promise not to do so.
Oh all right. I absolutely promise
not to...click beeeeeeeeeeeeeee... King Kai:
What the- Goku:
...eeeeeeee *gasp* eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- King Kai:
He... he hung up on me! How the hell did he even do that?!? Damn it, I'll call him back! *dialing sounds* Goku, I swear to God I will ride your ass on this one! George Takei: Oh my! King Kai:
DAMN IT, TAKEI!
- The exchange between Zarbon and Appule:
Why isn't he naked? Appule:
Luckily we... what
In the healing tank. I always thought you needed to be nude. Appule:
Wh-... why would you think that? Zarbon:
You know, to... absorb all the healing... juices. Appule:
...Well, it looks like you have everything under control here! (quickly takes his leave) Appule:
...Freaks me the f*** out.
- Appule goofing off instead of paying attention to Vegeta's vitals, and playing Tenkaichi 3 - as himself against Bardock.
- Guru telling Dende how old he is in the stinger:
Dende: Guru sir, I have a question.
Guru: Ask away.
Dende: You've been around for so long. Just how old are you?
Guru: I am this many. [doesn't move]
Dende: You didn't raise your hand.
Guru: THAT'S HOW OLD I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!
- Vegeta questions Zarbon on whether on he was molested on his sleep and we get this exchange.
: The last time we fought, you were barely alive when I retrieved your body. Vegeta
: That reminds me. Did you do anything to me while I was unconscious? Zarbon
: W-What?! [narrows eyes] Did I what? Vegeta
: Did you do anything to me while I was unconscious? Zarbon
?! No! God No! Vegeta
: Thank God. I jus… [widens eyes] Wait what do you mean by that. AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU?! Zarbon
: Alright Vegeta, I'll have to be totally honest. This is sounding really gay. Vegeta stammering in confusion and embarrassment Zarbon
: Not That There's Anything Wrong with That
: [totally defeated] J-Just transform. Damn you!
- Vegeta discovers the Dragonball he hid away is missing. This irritates him. The extent to how much results in The Scream to end all screams.
- Worth noting is that the scream (and related gags) ran from 4:52 to 5:45, nearly a full minute devoted to just the scream.
Vegeta: (diving into a lake to retrieve his stashed away Dragonball)
God, I love it when a plan comes together
! Took some time, effort, and lots of bodies, but now it's mine. Immortality is my bitch! Now, it should be right here...riiiight here... Where the hell is it? It couldn't have gone anywhere... All right, I'm going to close my eyes (does so)
, and when I open them up it's going to be right here—(opens them)
it's not here. Why isn't it here?! I don't get it! Who could've—?! The kid! But, how could he have found it, it was- Wait. That watch...that watch wasn't a watch at all! It was some kind of Dragon Ball locator! Which means...which means...! (Ghost Nappa appears with a ping) Ghost Nappa: (deadpan)
He took the Dragon Ball. (Peaceful scene of the surface of the lake. Then, Vegeta bursts out of it, flying as fast as he can) Vegeta: (eyes bloodshot, screaming as loud and harshly as possible) (Gohan and Krillin hear the scream) Gohan:
Um, Krillin? Do you hear that? Krillin:
that. (Inside Freeza's ship, Freeza hears it) Freeza: (glancing back) What the devil is that noise? (Cut to Goku, in his ship, still flying through space to Namek) Goku:
Ah~ time for a delicious sports dri—(hears the scream)
huh? What the heck is that? (Cut to Earth's check-in station to the afterlife) King Yemma: (flipping through a book)
Purgatory, hell...(hears the scream)
Denise? Denise, do you hear that? Oh god, is that my wife?! LEAVE ME ALONE! YOU ALREADY TOOK THE KIDS; WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?! (Cut to the ruined future, with Trunks and Bulma) Trunks:
Alright, mom; once that time machine is done, I can go back into the past, to save Goku, and my father— (hears the scream)
- The whole "I need an adult" running gag:
Gohan: So, uh, can I help you?
Vegeta: (gently puts his hand on Gohan's face) No... But maybe I can help you.
Gohan: Uh... I need an adult...
Vegeta: I am an adult. (Knees him in the stomach)
Vegeta: By the way, I only hit you because I have pent up aggression against your father. Take that. (flies away)
Krillin: Gohan, I'll be getting you to Guru's now.
Gohan: What? Why?
Krillin: So the old man can touch you, and pull things out of you that you never knew you had.
Gohan: ...I need an adult?
Krillin: I am an adult.
- Later still...
Guru: Now, relax as I reach deep inside you and grab hold of your essence.
Gohan: I... need an adul-
Guru: I AM AN ADUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- (cuts away)
- While it doesn't feature the "I need an adult" phrase, the joke leading up to it is pretty hilarious too.
Mr. Guru, sir? My friend Krillin told me that you could help us by... touching me. Guru: Do I look Catholic to you?
- This exchange between Nail and Vegeta:
Hello? Can I ... help you with something? Vegeta:
Yeah, the first thing you can do is go die, save me the trouble. Nail:
Ooh! Ooh! Is this really happening? 'cause I really hope it is. Vegeta:
(laughs) Oh trust me, you don't want any of what I am now. Nail:
Then come on, bring on all four feet of you
. Or should I count your stupid hair? Vegeta:
Big talk coming from a bipedal slug. Nail:
Big talk coming from a bipedal bitch
- Krillin's Reason You Suck Speech to Bulma in Episode 18.
Krillin: (In response to why he didn't stop Vegeta from taking a Dragon Ball) I don't know! Maybe you could've bitched at him! How 'bout that? That's all you appear to be good for these days! Huh? Used your bitch fu on him? Bulma, the mistress of bitching, that's what they should call you!
- After the Vegeta and Gohan scene:
Seriously! Five ancient sages of bitchdom
all gathered one day on the peaks of Mount Bitch
to proclaim your birth! And a hundred years later, when all the bitch
stars have aligned, you were born and made everybody's life around you a living hell, because YOU! ARE SUCH! A BITCH!
- The long-awaited arrival of the Ginyu Force:
Besides Freeza, I'm the most powerful being on this planet!note Bar none. Guru:
Heeeey. Just thought I'd inform you all. There are several high power levels coming towarrrrds the planet. Vegeta: What!?
Several high power levels? Guru:
There are five of them in total. Vegeta: Five of them!? Guru:
And they're all INCREEEEEDIBLY FLAMBOYANT! Vegeta: OH GOD!
- Vegeta after he finally catches up with Krillin. He can't speak coherently, his eyes are bloodshot, and he's yelling at Ghost Nappa.
For what? Vegeta:
. I...need...that-Dragonball. Give it to me
. The-one-you-took. I need my wish. Krillin: (scared)
Are... you okay? Ghost Nappa:
I think your rage broke Vegeta. Vegeta: SHUT UP GHOST OF NAPPA! Krillin:
What was that? Vegeta: I'MNOTCRAZY!! YOU'RE
CRAZY! Especially YOU
, Nappa! Ghost Nappa: Eeeeey! Krillin:
Who are you talking t— Vegeta: Dragon
now, please! Krillin:
Um...I don't...really...have it... (A blood vessel bursts in Vegeta's right eye, making it turn red) Vegeta:
What? Vegeta: (weeping Tears of Blood)
No... Krillin: Uh
... Vegeta: (bearing down on Krillin) No... (Vegeta feels Guru powering up Gohan in the distance.) Vegeta: (coming to his senses)
Huh—ha! Where am I? (notices Krillin)
Why are you here? (Beat)
Where's Nappa...? Krillin:
Didn't you kill him? Vegeta: (quickly)
YES. OF COURSE I DID. He's dead. Forever.
- When Vegeta regains his wits, Krillin blabs about Guru's ability to release untapped potential.
Vegeta: I'm gonna go pay him a... uh... what do you call it?
Krillin: A visit?
Vegeta: Beating, that's it! Gunna go pay him a beating.
- The entire end of Episode 18, with Goku trying to think of what to drink.
Beer: No, it's too early to get crunk.
Powerthirst: Ehh, energy drinks just don't do it for me anymore.
Peanuts: Ha ha, I can't drink these, these are nuts!
TFS Soda: This looks delicious! And it's high in Calcium! Team Four Star Soda!
- Every time Guru shouts at Nail, especially when Nail is preparing to pulverize Vegeta.
Guru: Naaaaaail!!! Stop making out with your boyfriend! I can hear it from here! It sounds like (gagging and slurping noises)
Nail: (pissed) Thank you, lord Guru!
- When Gohan arrives with Vegeta's Dragonball in episode 18:
Gohan: You guys, I think we should move to a new location.
Krillin: Why? What's wrong with this place?
Gohan: Because we have ten minutes before Vegeta finds out I stole this (Dragonball)
Krillin: (Terrified, high-pitched whimpering noises as Gohan smiles sweetly)
- Bulma hating the fact that she's always getting abandoned on Namek.
Bulma: Oh no, no no no! I am not letting you abandon me here again! Those bitches on Lifetime might put up with it, but not me!
Krillin: Bulma, you're right. You have been very helpful and very patient with us. So in return...we'relettingyouwatchthedragonballbye! (He and Gohan fly off)
Bulma: I will kill you both in your sleep!
- Vegeta's talk with Gohan after getting Krillin's Dragon Ball which directly precedes the first "I need an adult" joke, above. It later receives a Call Back in episode 24.
Vegeta: So, what're you doing here?
Gohan: Oh, you know, just flyin' around.
Vegeta: Flyin' around?
Gohan: Flyin' around.
Vegeta: Thwartin' mah plans?
Gohan: Thwartin' your plans?
Vegeta: Are you?
Vegeta: Good, 'cause that'd be bad.
Gohan: How bad?
Vegeta: I'd have to kill you.
Gohan: That's bad.
Vegeta: Indeed. (points to Gohan's Dragon Ball locator) Stupid lookin' watch you got there.
Gohan: (shielding the locator) Yes. It tells time. And nothing else.
Vegeta: Oh yeah, that's what a watch does. (aside) Dumbass.
- The Wheel of Death routine from episode 19. Even funnier because this is exactly what the Ginyu Force would do with enough time and preparation. Then there's Vegeta's reaction.
- Vegeta sounding like The Man Your Man Could Smell Like.
Look at your men, now back to me, now look back at your men, now back to me.
I am not your men! I'm flipping you off!
Look at the ground, back to me. Where is the Dragonball? It's gone! I threw it! And there's not a damn thing you can-
(Burter returns the Dragon Ball to Ginyu
Here you go, boss. Ginyu:
Thank you, Burter. Burter:
It's what I do! Vegeta:
But... I... I chucked that son of a bitch as hard as I could
Oh, you can't beat my speed! I'm the fastest in the universe! Krillin: That's What She Said
- While Vegeta's spouting off various ways of saying they're going to die:
Super Kami Guru: Naaaaaaaiiillll! Slap him.
(Slap is heard)
Super Kami Guru: Thank you.
- Even more hilarious from behind the scenes since both Krillin and Vegeta are voiced by the same guy.
- Vegeta's reaction to Krillin deciding to call them "Team Three Star."
Vegeta: What. Krillin:
Well, we're a TEAM
, there's THREE
of us, and the Dragon Balls have STARS
on them! Team Three Star! Vegeta:
That just makes me want to kill you even more, and you're STILL
only the second most annoying bald person I ever had the displeasure to work with. Krillin:
Team Three Star, MOVE OUT! *flies away* Vegeta:
I swear to god...! *flies after him*
- Later in the same episode, after Krillin has messed up again.
Supposedly there are seven (Dragon Balls) in total, if my report is correct. And the other five are-? Krillin:
(scared, shouts out quickly) RIGHT-BEHIND-YOU! Vegeta:
man, you just cannot-! Krillin:
(still running his mouth quickly) ShutupwhenImscared,Iknow! IoncehadacrushonalittleindianboythatIthoughtwasagirl
Please kill him. Seriously
, he won't be missed.
- Bulma's attempted rape fantasy with Vegeta should also count. It's Crosses the Line Twice at best.
Vegeta: (with a menacing tone) Hello, Earth woman.
(Bulma stammers with fear.)
Vegeta: You know what I want. Now, give it to me!
Bulma: (scared) The... the Dragonball's right there.
Vegeta: Oh, I'm not here for the Dragonball.
Bulma: Wha... what?
Vegeta: Spread 'em!
(Bulma, with fear, prepares herself, then falls down back to reality as Krillin unties the Dragonball to her foot.)
Krillin: (with a quick tone) Takin' the Dragonball! Bitch at me later! (flies off)
Vegeta: Your hair looks stupid! (flies off)
Gohan: Sorry, Bulma! (flies off)
Bulma: ALL OF MY HATE!
- On the way to where Vegeta has the Dragon Balls, we get this exchange between Gohan and Vegeta:
- For a meta CMOF, try to look up videos of that last show on YouTube: chances are that you'll find several comments from people who thought TFS was making this up.
- Or when Vegeta tells Krillin to destroy the Dragon ball in the same episode, Krillin fails, while Vegeta keeps screaming at him to hit it harder.
- Krillin on the receiving end of Za Warudo.
Gohan! Did you see? His power, he can-! Gohan:
Stop time? Krillin: Summon steamrollers! Gohan:
(dumbfounded) Y-You sure? Krillin:
- Vegeta's hurricane of Unusual Euphemisms as The Stinger of Episode 19.
"Son of a gum
k monster! Why the fruit
does all this funny
happen to me? Forget
my life! Always surrounded by miserable
! It's like this whole world just likes to bend me over and find me in the Alp
s! Like I'm some sort of shlock
receptacle! Well as far as I care, these miserable cow
s can have a fancy barbecue
, WITH A GODDAMN PIG
Jeice, do you MIND?? Jeice:
Sorry captain, this scouter's acting a bit shonky.
- Go Space Broncos!
- "Why can't I feel my everything?"
- "Sure is Zarbon in here."
- The Ginyu Force mourns Guldo.
Oi! Oi, is that Guldo over there? Is he dead? Recoome:
How tragic. Beat Burter:
Not telling the captain, 1-2-3, not it! Recoome:
Not it! Jeice:
Not it- Oh, wankers.
- Becomes a little Harsher in Hindsight when Jeice has to tell Ginyu that the ENTIRE TEAM except the two of them are dead.
- Recoome's Badass Boast.
- After Recoome's first Badass Boast:
Wrestling's fake. (boos and jeers - and a "you suck-diddly-uck"
) Oh, go to hell, all of you! And if it means getting this damn thing over with, then I'm just going to have to kill your ass! Now hit my
* Dragon Ball GT Theme Tune Rap
Oh, the f*** with this!
- While it might be funny only to wrestling fans, Jeice using "slobberknocker" and "vintage" while commentating is quite hilarious.
- And, of course, "Piledriver! PILEDRIVER!!"
- This bit after Krillin got owned for the 12th time:
Krillin: HELLO GOHAN, HAVE YOU DONE YOUR HOMEWORK BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T, CHI-CHI WILL KICK MY ASS!
Gohan: Ah, are you okay?
Krillin: Yeah, seems he threw my nervous system out of whack, there. Can't quite feel the pain!
Krillin: There it is! AAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOWWWWW...
- Guru tries to get Nail to leave and help the Earthlings against the Ginyu Force.
Lord Guru that would leave you totally unguarded. Guru:
No, I would have Dende. Dende:
Please don't leave me alone with him. Guru:
He is the third strongest of our kind. Nail:
Lord Guru, there are only three of us left. Guru:
Dende, how does it feel to be the bronze medal? Dende:
Like everyone I know and love is dead.
(monotone singing) Every party needs a pooper, that's why they invited you. Party pooper. Party pooper. Nail:
Lord Guru... Guru:
WHY ARE YOU STILL HEEEERE?
- "Silly Vegeta! The only thing Recoome sells, is merchandise!" *Cue images of merchandise with Recoome on them popping up, including a vibrator with his head*
- After Gohan and Krillin have saved Vegeta by forcing Recoome's mouth shut while he was using his Breath Weapon:
Recoome: (his mouth is all messed up) Can Recoome get a mirror? He feels like he might have chipped a tooth.
Krillin: (offscreen) Dear God, what happened to your face?!
- The entire Spacey's skit. It's good food. IN SPACE!
- The Dance of Joy, which Ginyu is contractually obligated to do post every successful mission, thanks to King Cold.
- Don't forget the Daddy's Little Princess Dance, as he is contractually obligated to do…thanks to Freeza's brother Cooler.
- The opening includes a spoof Japanese Promotional Consideration spot...for Team Four-Star Soda and Spacey's.
- The beginning:
Goku: Finally! I'm on Planet Namek!
Krillin (O/S): Help us!
Goku: So beautiful... so serene!
Krillin (O/S): Oh, God, he's killing us! Help!
Goku: I think I hear a duck. But this far out in space? That doesn't make any sense!
Krillin (O/S): QUACK!
Goku: Oh, no! That sounds like Krillin! I'm 'a comin!
- "WE GET IT! YOU'RE FROM SPACE AUSTRALIA!!!"
- When Jeice and Burter try to fight Goku after one-shotting Recoome:
: We better bust out our special technique
... Jeice and Burter
: (powering up) SEIZURE PROCEDURE! (The two combined into a whirling blue and red disc, as Epileptic Flashing Lights ensue set to "Sandstorm" by Darude) Goku
: ... Gohan
: Krillin! Whatever you do, don't look directly at it! (Beat)
: (eyes rolled back in his head, foaming at his wide-open mouth, unintelligible moaning) (Krillin Owned Count increments to 13)
- Episode 21, Jeice getting punched in the face over and over again is enough to make you fall down laughing.
- Especially when he tries to think about what Ginyu said to do in that situation... only for Goku to punch him again mid-flashback. Jeice then holds his face and screams "Oh, he cut off the captain!"
- Jeice can't rely on his squad mates either:
Alright, you bastard! Prepare to feel the wrath of the Ginyu For—(gets punched)
AHH! You goddamn wanker! You punched me right in the—(gets punched)
Ah, he did it again—(gets punched)
Ack! Stop it! STOP IT—(gets punched) PISS!!!
Oh... what would the captain tell us to do in this situation?! Ginyu:
Jeice, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to—(gets punched) Jeice:
Oh, he cut off the captain! Goku:
So, are you going to dodge
any of these? Jeice:
Ohhh, THAT'S what the Captain—(gets punched) BURTER! SUPPORT!! Burter: Well, you've got very nice hair, you're a beautiful shade of red, and honestly, you're the only guy I can rely on on this team. Jeice:
I MEANT PUNCH 'IM, YA DAFT BASTARD!! AGGH! Oh, but thanks, you know? That really cheered me—(gets punched)
GOD, I THINK HE BROKE SOMETHING THAT TIME!!
- Jeice and Burter have a touching display of camaraderie, showing how good friends they are and promising to go out drinking once it’s all over, the music swells... and Goku one-shots Burter.
- Jeice stops taking Burter's claims of being "the fastest in the universe" at face value:
: Alright, this is just bloody stupid! Burter
: Calm down! We gotta come up with a plan! Listen: if you use your Crusher Ball
on him, I can rush him when he tries to dodge. He may be fast, but he's not faster than the fastest guy in the universe! Jeice
: Alright, mate? We need to talk...about this whole fastest-in-the-universe thing. First off, the Captain's got a higher power level than you. Burter
: Yeah, so? Jeice
: Well then, correct me if I'm wrong, but a higher power level means he's faster, yeah? Burter
: Well okay, maybe— Jeice
: And Lord Freeza's got a higher power than all of us... Burter
: Okay, that's just not fair— Jeice
: And if you think about it, Guldo can stop time, so that technically makes him faster than— Burter
: (losing his shit)
NO! NO, NO, OKAY?! I AM NOT SLOWER THAN F*CKING GULDO!!! Jeice
: Burter, calm down— Burter
: NO! SHUT UP! YOU SHUT YOUR STUPID RED FACE! (mocking Jeice's voice)
"Oh, don't worry, mate, you're just slower than Guldo!" Goku
I wonder if there's a Denny's on this planet. I could really go for a Grand Slam...
- Freeza's rant: "I can't believe we came all the way out here and spent a week in the Space Boonies for nothing! Seriously, I'm surprised we didn't hear banjos on the way, because everyone is inbred and LOOKS THE F***ING SAME! Not to mention I lost Dodoria and Zarbon, the latter of whom spent 400 credits making long-distance calls to his girlfriend, WHO I AM CONVINCED IS NAMED CHUCK!"
(After Ginyu has brought him the Dragon balls and finished the Dance of Joy, which was authorized by Freeza's father)
Now, let's wish me some immortality! Ginyu:
Not quite yet, Lord Freeza. Lastly, I must complete the "Daddy's Little Princess" dance! Freeza:
) My father would command no such thing! Ginyu: You are correct, Lord Freeza
Very well. Ginyu: It was your brother
- After Goku arrives, Recoome is trying to get people to pay attention to him.
Hey! Recoome was in the middle of a match here, so how about you— Goku:
Sir! I am talking to my son. Recoome:
Oh. Recoome apologizes. Wait, what am I apologizing for? RECOOME'S GONNA KILL YOU!!
- "Hey Vegeta, we're friends now, right?" "F*ck off."
- Vegeta's Renegade Interrupt.
Goku: Vegeta! That was not very paragon!
Vegeta: (spits) Renegade for life.
- Then The Stinger:
You think that's bad? Seriously; if you hit him hard enough, you can play a song. (Vegeta repeatedly knees Burter in the throat, his groans sounding like "Korobeiniki") Vegeta: (chuckle)
I don't even know what that's from. Krillin: I think that was Tetris
Isn't that what you get when you cut yourself with something rusty? Goku:
Nah, that's rabies. Gohan:
Actually, dad, you get rabies when you get bit by an animal that has the disease. Goku:
Silly Gohan! Animals don't eat people, people eat animals! Silly Gohan.
- Gohan is fed a senzu bean. A green 9999 appears over his head and the healing ding plays.
- Vegeta's excuse about being so beat up:
Goku: So Vegeta, what happened to you? Did you get beat up by this guy? (talking about Recoome)
Recoome: *groaning in pain*
Vegeta: (stammering) Uhhh no...I..umm...uh..
Ghost Nappa: You fell down some stairs.
Vegeta: I fell down some stairs.
Krillin: No you didn't, you-
Vegeta: Shut up before I throw you down a flight!
- STOP! Goku time!
- Another great Guru line - "And so I tell him, 'I don't care who you are, now clean my jowls!' ...And that was Nail's first day on the job." Then, after Guru unlocks Dende's potential, Dende leaves. Guru's response? "Thaaaat SLUUUUUUUUUTTT!!"
- Also from 22:
Guru: NNAAAAAIIIILLLL! Do we have a visitor?
Nail: Yes sir.
Guru: NNNNAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIILLLLLL! Take his coat.
Freeza: I don't have a coat.
Nail: He doesn't have a coat sir. [looks at Freeza] And I believe this is the guy who basically just killed our whole race.
Guru: [sounding a bit annoyed] NNNNNNAAAAAAIIIIILLLLLLL. Don't take his coat.
- Freeza talking about destroying Nail.
- KILLING CRABS! IN THE OCEAN!
Krillin: When the dragon balls are all put together, the sky grows darker than the blackest void!
Popo: (on Earth) Hm?
- Later, when Freeza is going to Guru:
Freeza: (passing Dende) Good afternoon.
Dende: It's morning. (in Namekian) Douche.
Freeza: Cute kid. Seems familiar.
- "Oh god. NATURAL LIGHT!"
- "I utilize these poses as a means of reinvigorating my men and raising morale. HOW DARE YOU MOCK THEM!"
- Ginyu meeting Goku
That's him, Captain! That's the one who beat us up! Ginyu:
What?! Just look at HIS hair
! He looks like he just got out of bed! For goodness sake, Jeice, he's even wearing pajamas. Jeice:
I swear it's him, sir. He picked us apart one by one. We never stood a cha— [Goku punches Jeice.] Jeice:
OH, THAT'S JUST NOT FAIR! Ginyu:
Jeice, what have I told you
- Nail again demonstrating his aptitude at passive-aggressive trash talk:
You see, I recently acquired what you people referred to as Dragon Balls, but I'm having trouble getting them to do what I want. Nail:
Did you try working the shaft? Freeza:
- Which leads to...
Guru: Naaail, what does he want?
Nail: He wants to know how to use the Dragon Balls.
Guru: Did you tell him to try working the shaft?
Nail: Yes, Lord Guru.
Guru: Good work, Nail.
- After Freeza sees Guru for the first time:
Freeza: Good Lord! I was lead to believe your species survived almost entirely on water! How is he so fat?!
Guru: Oh, hello. I'm Super Kami Guru. And I'm the guy who is not judging you on your appearance.
- Becomes a "Funny Aneurysm" Moment when you find out in episode 30 that he's the one who drank all the water, caused the drought, blamed it on the albino Namekians, then ordered their extermination as punishment.
- Jeice has to report the defeat of his comrades to Captain Ginyu. It doesn't go well for him at first...
: —OUTTA NOWHERE THIS STUPID GUY IN THIS STUPID OUTFIT STARTS BEATING US UP AND I LOST ME BEST MATE AND— Ginyu
: JEICE! You will speak to me professionally
and dutifully. Jeice
: (now calm)
Oh. Um...sorry, Cap'n. Ginyu
: Now, Jeice...back from the field...full report! Jeice
: Well, see, at first it was going fine...but next thing we know, Guldo...well... Ginyu
: Oh, lord, he's dead, isn't he... Jeice
: That he is, sir. Ginyu
: Well, in our line of work, our lives can be compromised at any moment. This is something we must live with. On the plus side, Burter owes me 50 Raditz. Jeice
: ...about that, Cap'n, he's probably not gonna pay up... Ginyu
: Really? He's usually such a good sport about that
: Thing is...he's come down with a sudden case of death, sir. Ginyu
: (sincerely upset)
Oh. That's...wow. That's a rather hefty loss... Jeice
: Yes, sir. He was a valued teammate. Strong, fast— Ginyu
: And blue! Jeice
: ...pardon, Cap'n? Ginyu
: Blue! And tall! And you're so red! And short! It was the perfect little yin-yang thing
we had going! Jeice
I'm not that short, Cap'n... Ginyu
: Oh, don't go all Vegeta on me. Now...where are we going to find another blue recruit? Perhaps Recoome knows someone! Jeice
: (disgusted sigh) Ginyu
: He's dead, too, isn't he
: ...yeeeeeah. Ginyu
: Well. Did he at least die with dignity? (Cut to Recoome lying face down on the ground, his naked ass in the air. Buzzing flies are heard.) Jeice
: ...define "dignity", sir.
- This exchange:
Well, cap'n, if you're getting stressed, you could always... ya know... Ginyu:
Jeice! This is hardly the time nor the place. Besides, I already did it in the pod on the way here
...I meant switch bodies
- Krillin and Gohan discussing why the Namekian Dragon Balls aren't working.
Maybe there's something special about Namekian Dragon Balls. Krillin:
Maybe if I sing to it. I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves- Gohan:
-Actually, Krillin, I was thinking something else. Maybe the only way to summon it is to call it in its native language. Krillin: I don't speak German!
And the only person I know that does was the toilet... and it's dead. God rest his seat.
- Bulma calling out Krillin and Gohan on leaving her alone all the time, and Krillin pointing out the logic of her problem:
Why?! Why would you leave me alone here?! I don't know this place! Did you know there are giant crabs down there
?! I do! I KILLED ONE! Krillin:
Okay, Bulma, just calm down. Why are you upset? Bulma:
Why?! Because I am always alone! Krillin:
And if we were to stay here, what would that accomplish
...just take the f***ing radar. Krillin:
Thank you, Bulma. Say "Thank you", Gohan. Gohan:
Thank you, Bulma. Bulma:
No problem, Gohan. Krillin:
And no problem... Bulma:
Shove it! Krillin:
I'll take it.
Freeza: (to Nail) Oh, I know. How bout a good old-fashioned joke? How many Namekians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Their whole race. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to die. And then the other one dies too. (no response from Nail) Really? Nothing to that? (no response) You're no fun.
- Freeza is just terrible, in the funniest way possible.
So. We've been flying for about twenty minutes now. Got any family? Because if so I probably killed them. [beat
] Stop ignoring me.
- Vegeta imagining himself yelling "Team Three Star" just before breaking Krillin's neck.
- Two soldiers talking about the Wilhelm scream and trying to imitate it. Vegeta then knocks one to his death, which makes him do the real deal.
Soldier: Dude, that was totally it! (dies, emitting the scream as well)
- When Gohan is fighting Ginyu in Goku's body:
(in Goku's body) This is absurd! His power level was a league above my own when we fought! What the blazes is going on?! Goku:
(in Ginyu's body) Ha ha! You don't know any of my techniques! Ginyu:
What techniques? Tell me! Goku:
I'm not gonna tell you how to use the Kaio-ken! Ginyu: Kaio-wha-?
(Kicked by Gohan and Krillin at the same time)
- Ginyu!Goku getting confused about who is in whose body.
Ginyu!Goku: (After Goku!Ginyu flies off) Man... I'm a jerk now...
Ginyu!Goku: (after hearing Vegeta explain that Kakarot and Goku refer to the same person) So does that make me Ginyu?
Ginyu!Goku: (blocking Vegeta from Ginyu's body change) I'll save you, Goku!
- Vegeta's answer to Ginyu's request for a moment of silence.
- This conversation:
The best part about this- I get to kill both Ginyu AND Kakarot at the same time? Goku!Ginyu:
Wait, who's Kakarot? Vegeta:
You're Kakarot. Goku!Ginyu:
I thought his name was Goku. Krillin:
His name is Goku! Vegeta:
No, it's Kakarot. Goku!Ginyu:
But he just said Goku. Krillin:
Yeah, I did. Vegeta:
I know what he said but he- Goku!Ginyu:
: So what is it? Kakarot or Goku? Vegeta and Krillin:
It's Kakarot!/It's Goku! Vegeta:
No, no, no! Just...look. His Saiyan name is Kakarot, but he changed it when he landed on Earth as a baby. So they kept calling him by his Earth name, and I am calling him by his real name! Ginyu!Goku:
...so does that make me Ginyu? Vegeta:
*screams in rage
- Gohan's snaps and starts Calling the Old Man Out.
Gohan, we might have a chance now! But you have to give it your all! Remember, (Ginyu) may look like your dad, you can absolutely not hold back- Gohan
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! You abandoned me for a year with Piccolo, sent me off into space, and the next time I get to see you, you lost your damn body?!
YOU'RE NOT EVEN YOU ANYMOOOOORE! Ginyu!Goku:
I don't know where he gets that
- This line:
Ginyu!Goku: This is easily the second worst hole I've had in my chest. It's going to take, like, a million mommy kisses to make this feel better.
- Freeza and Nail's confrontation:
(attacks Freeza mid-sentence) HAAAAA! Freeza: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know we were starting.
Here, allow me. (rips Nail's arm off) Nail:
AAAAAAHHHHHH! (falls to his knees in agony) Freeza:
Looks like someone's going to be missing this! (Drops Nail's severed arm in front of him) Nail: No, not really.
(grows a new arm) Freeza:
Ooh, that looks like it hurts a lot
. Are you okay? Nail:
I'm fine! Freeza:
Good to know. Yoink!
(rips off Nail's new arm)
- In their next scene, there's a whole pile of mutilated arms on the ground.
- Vegeta, Gohan, and Krillin taking Goku to the healing tank in the ship:
It'll take a while, though. This is the only other model the ship has. And it's kind of an old one. Krillin:
What happened to the newer model? Vegeta:
Blew it the f*** up. Krillin:
What, did it have an opinion? Vegeta:
Eat me. [...] Now, both of you, STRIP. Krillin:
I've got body armor for you. Krillin:
- Krillin and Gohan lampshading how long they've been on Namek.
- Krillin unintentionally giving Vegeta flashbacks from the previous season:
Hey, by the way, don't I look like that one guy that Vegeta landed with back on Earth? What was his name, again? Hey, Vegeta!
What was that one guy's name? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta?
(Nappa's head appears) Vegeta? Vegeta? Vegeta:
(Scowls) Goddamnit, Nappa. Krillin:
Oh, right! Good ol' Goddamnit Nappa.
- George Takei randomly interrupting the conversation between Goku and King Kai:
Who's that, King Kai? King Kai:
It's George Takei. Somehow we made this into a three-way. George Takei: Ohhhh my! King Kai: Call!
- Dende starts screaming in terror when he thinks he's been caught by one of Freeza's henchmen. Then he realizes it's Krillin, and he screams even louder.
- Gohan's inner monologue as he reflects on his life:
- Porunga's introduction:
Holy crap, your dragon's on steroids! Porunga:
(In Namekian) I am Porunga, Dragon of Dreams, and I— [sees Krillin]...Why is there an Albino Namekian amongst you? I thought they were wiped out in the purge! Dende: Actually, they're earthlings. Porunga: God, they're ugly. Dende: And annoying.
- King Kai communicating with Krillin:
Krillin: We get three wishes? That's awesome! I want a three foot long-
King Kai: Stop screwing around and wish these idiots off my planet!
Krillin: Holy crap, I can hear a voice inside my head!
Dende: Is it telling you my name is Dende?
Krillin: Hush, Little Green! The voice speaks to me.
King Kai: This is King Kai. Wish these guys back to life before I kill myself.
Krillin: Wait, can gods kill themselves?
King Kai: I'M ABOUT TO TRY!
- No one cares what Yamcha thinks!
- Piccolo's reaction to being sent to a random spot on Namek:
Little Green, wish our friend Piccolo back to life, and then with our next wish, bring him to Namek. Piccolo:
Hold on a minute, don't do that! That is a terrible i—(is resurrected and brought to Namek)—dea! [Piccolo's can be heard screaming in the distance.] Dende:
He is on Namek. Gohan:
Wait, where is he? Dende:
On Namek. Piccolo:
(in the distance) You dumbass! Krillin:
Why didn't it bring him here? Dende:
You must be specific. Gohan:
Oh, so it's a sort of monkey's paw. You have to be careful with the hubris in your wishes. Piccolo:
(still in the distance) NEEEEEEEERRRRDDD!
- Apparently, Goku was right; Vegeta does have a very nervous bladder.
Vegeta: (suddenly wakes up, jumps to his feet, fists clenched) I have to pee! (bolts out of the room)
- Guru's death and how well it fits with his character:
Guru: I feel that they have finally summoned the dragon. Would be a reeeal dick move to die right now...Huuurrkk [dies]
- When Kami is resurrected.
Popo: -humming and watering plants-
Kami: (poofs) Fan-freaking-tastic, we're back here again.
Popo: Oh, you're back. Hi Kami.
Kami: Mr. Popo, what are you watering?
Kami: Pots of what?
Popo: Pot. (beat) I'm not getting rid of it.
Kami: Are you kidding? That sh*t's great for my glaucoma!!
- Even better given it's a brick joke to this.
- Freeza's reaction to learning that the Namekians have hoodwinked him.
(Enjoying this moment
) The earthlings have the password. Freeza: ...What? Nail:
Remember the little Namekian you passed on the way to Guru's? On his way to the humans with the password. By now he's probably already there and they're about to summon the dragon! Freeza:
(Barely concealed rage
) Grk...Jch... Nail:
Yeah, if I could guess your biggest mistake, it would be not stopping him
. That or the purple lipstick. Freeza: I WILL F***ING MURDER YOU!! Nail: Whatever
(flies off and turns on scouter
) Why aren't the Ginyus showing up!?
Oh, they're dead. *beat* WHY ARE THEY DEAD?!
- Vegeta's thoughts as he was falling asleep.
Vegeta: First immortality. Then the bitches.
- The reveal that even Krillin thought the name "Team Three Star" was stupid.
- That seemed more like he was trying to save face than anything else, considering how enthusiastic he was about it in the beginning.
- Freeza getting annoyed with Namek. Again.
Nail: (Lands on a random spot) This is my people's sacred battleground.
Freeza: We flew over an hour for this? It looks exactly the same as everywhere else on this god-forsaken rock!
Peh. Racist. Freeza:
Now, now. Can't be racist against a race that doesn't exist.
- The Stinger has the theme song with Freeza under a power up box. Out pops the mushroom and Freeza transforms.
- Episode 25 has several including Freeza raising the Owned count so high that he gets 1Ups, Nappa in the flashback and Dodoria shopped onto a fat woman in lingerie during a solar flare.
- Freeza singing a mudded rendition of "My Favorite Things" in 25, is both hilarious and chilling.
Freeza: Peaceful young races with fires on their houses, millions of voices all silenced like mouses, watching the cowards bow toward their new king, these are the few of my favorite things!
- When Nail instructs Piccolo on fusing, he tells the latter to put his hand on his chest... lower... lower... lower... little lower...
Nail: Ahh, if we had junk you'd be gay right now!
- Another is the aftermath of Piccolo's fusion with Nail. Team Four Star handles it EXACTLY like the dub complete with Piccolo psyching himself up...until...
Nail: (inside Piccolo's head) What are you doing?
Nail: Really? 'Cause it looked like you were chanting to yourself.
Piccolo: Are you in my head?
Nail: Yep. Don't worry, supposedly I should fade into your subconscious...sooner or later.
Piccolo: OK...so what now?
Nail: By my estimate, this fusion should have given you just enough power to wipe out the bastard that killed our people.
Nail: Well, let me put this in terms you can understand...YOU CAN WIN! YOU FEEL GREAT! YOU! CAN! DO! THIS!
Piccolo: Oh HA-HA!
- When Krillin (after doing his "QUACK!" Running Gag) almost blurts out their homeworld's name, Gohan manages to stop him.
Oh - thank you for stopping me, Gohan, because I can't shut— Dende:
They're from Earth. Krillin: Little Green
! Why? Dende:
Because my name is Dende. Freeza:
Earth, huh? I'll stop by there on the way home, pick up some space eggs
, some space milk and BLOW IT THE F*CK UP
! (suddenly calm)
Oh, I'm sorry; I'm usually far more composed. I'm just a little bit ABSOLUTELY LIVID
Aw, Freeza, don't be such a woman. I lost my
chance at immortality, and you don't hear me whining about it. Freeza:
Yes, Vegeta, but the difference between you and me is I'm going to live long enough to regret it (charges Veteta)
- When Freeza's still in his first form, locked in a power struggle with Vegeta, his scouter displays the message "F**K THIS. I'M OUT." seconds before exploding.
- During the flashback about Bardock's warning:
He's been telling everyone that Freeza plans to destroy Vegeta. King Vegeta:
Wait, my son, the planet, or me?
* Butarega: ...Yes.
[King Vegeta blasts Butarega away] King Vegeta:
- King Vegeta has very bad taste in councilors:
- When Dende heals Gohan.
: (healing Gohan)
Come on...you can't leave me alone here; you're the only one I can talk to! Gohan: (regaining consciousness)
I... you... healed me. Dende:
You are the only one I respect. Gohan:
Then why did you heal Krillin? Dende:
The better question is...why did I tell him he was immortal?
- When Gohan's Roaring Rampage of Revenge after Freeza (almost) kills Krillin fails.
Gohan: Think, what would dad do?
Goku: (flashback) Bye, son!
Gohan: I'm beginning to think I have issues.
- When Krillin comes back in top form after being impaled:
Vegeta: (inner monologue) I swear if he used that wish for immortality on himself, I am going to murde-
Vegeta: (out loud) That... bastard.
- SOCIAL ACTIVITYYYYY!
- While Freeza is owning Krillin so much he starts getting 1Ups...
Gohan: Krillin, stop! You're making him stronger!
- Krillin tells the gang how he blinded Freeza with Solar Flare;
Gohan: And then you used your Ki-Enzan to cut him in half?
Freeza: I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD WHERE MY TAIL USED TO BE!!
Krillin: To answer your question, Gohan, no, I did not do that.
- Krillin learns that he isn't immortal.
Krillin: Wait, you mean I could have actually died?
Vegeta: Yeah, and unlike the runt and I, you don't get a power boost from it.
Krillin: Hax! I call hax!
- Piccolo's Big Damn Heroes moment is accompanied by Magus' battle music. note
- Nail explains his plan to Piccolo.
Nail: There's a special ability our people share. Forbidden, even amongst our most sacred clans.
Piccolo: And we're just gonna abuse it?
Nail: Oh, maliciously!
Piccolo: Bitchin'! How we do?
- Freeza "taunting" Vegeta while he tortures Gohan
Freeza: So Vegeta, does this get you angry?
Vegeta: Not really, kind of a smart ass.
Freeza: Well then, why am I even bothering?!
Vegeta: Because... you get off on it...?
Freeza: Oh, unbelievably!
- Piccolo's first thoughts on Namek:
"What was that idiot doing, bringing me here? It's- Wait a minute. I can feel it. This is my home! I can finally see its beauty! The lush blue fields... The crystal clear waters... The wind brushing past my GOD this is boring! Huh...no wonder I feel right at home."
- How Vegeta knew that Freeza can transform.
- The miraculous return of the Kanassans:
Kanassan 1: I CAN SEE THE FUTUUUUUURE!
Kanassan 2: BULMA AND VEGETA HAVE A KIIIIIID!
Kanassan 3: THE REAL BUU IS A CHILD!
Kanassan 4: CELL REACHES HIS PERFECT FOOOOORM!
Kanassan 5: GOTEN AND TRUNKS BECOME A GUUUUYYYY!
Kanassan 6: GOHAN IS THE STRONGEST IN THE UNIVERSE BUT STILL DOESN'T DO CRAAAAAAP!
- The Stinger has this exchange:
- A brilliant send up of the series' "weighted clothing" concept:
- After Krillin sees Piccolo crack his knuckles and neck in a truly awesome way.
Krillin: Aw man that sounded good, now I have to do my neck. [SNAP] OWWW MY NECK! [Krillin Owned Count: 26]
- Piccolo and Nail's conversation during Freeza's 2nd transformation.
Nail: Hey man, can I talk to you about something really quick?
Piccolo: I'm seriously in the middle of something right now!
Nail: Yeah, I know, but I've been looking around and you've got like NO apps in here. I have already played the crap out of Minesweeper.
Piccolo: COULD YOU JUST- wait, I have apps? I have Minesweeper?! I just thought I could connect to the internet with my antennae!
Nail: I didn't know we could do that!
Piccolo: We all learn something new every day. Now could you just let me focus?!
Nail: Hey...you want to play me in Minesweeper?
Piccolo: You CAN'T play someone in Minesweeper! That's a single-player game!
Nail: First I go, then you go and try to beat my time, and...hey, is he transforming?
Piccolo: DAMN IT!
- And then, the exchange after Freeza transforms into his 3rd form hilarious.
So Namekian, what do you think of my 3rd form? Piccolo:
I think Ridley Scott
's gonna sue somebody. Freeza:
What are you talking about? *Alien tongue bursts out of mouth and makes noises* Let me touch your skin... Piccolo:
- Definitely this exchange:
Freeza: I have a question for you though.
Piccolo: What’s that?
Piccolo: ...That's... not... a... questio- *gets knocked into plateau*
Freeza: That's because I don't do requests.
- When Vegeta tried fleeing, this happened:
Freeza: *suddenly appears* So, Vegeta, where do you think you're going?
Vegeta: Oh, y'know... *shifts eyes* places...
Freeza: Places, hm? Like that mountain over there?
Vegeta: *looking* Actually, that looks more like a plat- *gets knocked into* -EEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUU!!
- Freeza's "game"
How about this? Let's play a game. Ever hear of paintball? Piccolo: Yeah... Freeza:
Just remove the "t". Piccolo:
I don't ge- (Freeza blasts him in the knee) OH HO I GET IT!
- Plus the exchange right afterward that would later be alluded to in episode 29.
Now for your other glubok
! (He blasts Piccolo again.) Piccolo:
AGH! ...You're not really familiar with our anatomy, are you? Freeza:
It doesn't matter! I'll hit your glubok somewhere! (He starts repeatedly blasting Piccolo)
- The opening.
Goku: I'm sure they're doing just fine.
Vegeta: HEALER'S DOWN!
Krillin: NEED A REZ!
Gohan: OUT OF MANA!
All three: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
- Before that, Goku was singing "Put the Lime in the Coconut".
- Vegeta actually crying in front of Freeza:
(Vegeta falters and starts trembling)
: Wha...how...how's a...gah... Freeza:
See, it's like I told you, Vegeta. "Like a bitch." Vegeta: (voice cracking, tears streaming down his face)
Sh-shut up! Freeza:
Oh my god, you actually are crying! Vegeta: (hoarsely, and through Inelegant Blubbering)
I'M NOT CRYING! I'M NOT! Freeza
: Honestly, now I just feel bad
. Usually I just blow up whatever's in my way, but with you, I've gotten kind of attached
! It's sort of like putting down Old Space Yeller
. Krillin: (offscreen)
HOW IS THAT A THING. Freeza
: It's sad, really. But before we part ways, Vegeta, let me tell you a tale
...(swats Vegeta with his tail)
- The return of "DOOOOOOOOOOODGE!!"
- Goku's attempt at a Badass Boast.
Goku: I'm Goku! I'm insane, from Earth!
Vegeta: He means Saiyan.
- A good amount of the dialogue in episode 27, such as the round of "Row row row your boat". Especially once Goku arrives and starts talking to Freeza.
- Vegeta attempting to rock Freeza like a hurricane. It fails.
"Huh, I should've known that was only a one-hit wonder."
- After Goku blocks Freeza's Beam Spam attack, Freeza demands to know how it's possible from Vegeta, who's been talking about the Super Saiyan legend the whole episode, and previous ones (having already given an identical speech about it twice). Mostly in relation to himself, but you can tell Freeza sees it coming again. Each word out of Freeza's mouth is angrier than the last in the following exchange.
You see, Freeza? You aren't dealing with the average Saiyan warrior anymore- Freeza: Oh. My! GOD!!!
- EVERYTHING that the extremely short-lived Jamaican crab (that sounds very similar to Sebastian the Crab) says before getting eaten by Freeza in Episode 27.
- Then an episode or so later, Freeza tilts his head, and the crab falls out his ear going "Eymon!"
- When Goku arrives, he talks to the others. This happens.
Oh, hey Piccolo! When'd you come back? Piccolo:
Uh... Dragon Balls... Goku:
Hey Krillin! You look funny in that armor! Gohan:
DAD!!! Goku: Hey.
- And then he turns to Freeza:
Goku: So, are you that Freezer guy?
Freeza: <hesitantly> I am Lord Freeza, yes.
Goku: <cheerfully> Awesome! Imma deck you in the schnozz!
<Freeza stares blankly for a second, then drops Vegeta>
Freeza: I'm... sorry, that's a new one. Who... are you exactly?
- And note that this is actually a Brick Joke to how Freeza keeps track of every Badass Boast made towards him.
- Freeza explains why Vegeta is injured:
Unfortunately, Vegeta and I had a disagreement. He wanted himself to live, and, well, I didn't. Goku: Why do you want to die? Freeza:
Wh- no, I meant, I meant I wanted him
to die- Goku: Is it because you look weird? Freeza: What?! Goku:
Ah, you know, you got that big head, those weird lips and that tail-
(Freeza gets angry and tries to blast Goku. Goku swats the blast away.
-and you don't have ears... Freeza:
(Freeza shoots multiple beams that Goku swats away effortlessly.
...And to top it all off, you're really kind of a jerk. Freeza:
(shocked) And apparently, this is now happening.
- During their, ah, fight, Vegeta and Freeza's thoughts.
(thinking) Yes I have him on the ropes! All he can do is dodge me! Freeza:
(thinking) God, Zarbon's dead, Dodoria's dead, the Ginyus are dead...this has been one giant mess. It's just like that jockstrap incident, only now I don't have Ginyu around to dig the holes!
- Early on when Gohan, Krillin and Piccolo are all certain of their defeat and Vegeta keeps boasting how good he is:
Krillin: I couldn't even follow that attack! It was almost instantaneous!
Vegeta: Yup, just gonna stand here and keep bein' awesome—
Piccolo: There's nothing we can do against that kind of power!
Vegeta: (Annoyed) Uh, hello, awesome? Right here.
Gohan: We're all gonna die!
Vegeta: ... You know what? All of you better duck, because I'm about to turn left and I don't want to SMACK YOU WITH MY DICK.
- I know the whole scene with Freeza curb stomping Vegeta is pretty morbid, but I always find it humorous when Krillin asks if they should do something
Freeza: (Appears) Oh, go ahead, pool's open; water's fine. (Everyone just stands there, shaking in their boots) No? Just going to stand there like a bunch of pissants? Thought so.
- After Freeza tells Vegeta that a Super Saiyan is just a myth...
- While firing an impressive but ineffective Beam Spam, Vegeta yelling "DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA!"
- The opening, which has Vegeta stating the usual legal stuff, but clearly dying with each breath.
- Vegeta's dying words.
- Freeza's complete stupification as he tries to comprehend how Goku thinks.
Wow, that was close! I was almost out of the frying pan, and into the... lava. Freeza:
How do you function
- After kicking Freeza into a mountain, the two exchange banter. Goku gets in a legitimate taunt.
- And actually thanks his brain for coming up with it.
- Goku being totally blind to Freeza's attacks.
- All of the ensuing fight between Goku and Freeza... as Freeza gradually loses it from exposure to Goku's stupidity.
- Vegeta tells Goku that your clothes don't come with you when you die. Goku says his stayed with him.
That lying red motherfucker!
(Later, at King Yemma’s) King Yemma:
(To all arriving souls) Strip...next. Strip...next. Strip...next. Strip...(beat
, leans forward) nice. Arriving soul: Recoome thanks you.
- The random moment with Bulma shows her drinking the planet's water.
- Freeza finds Goku just isn't the same as his now-deceased minions:
My butt is flaming! Freeza:
...I miss Zarbon
- Krillin getting hit in the face with Freeza's puke, bringing the Krillin Owned Counter up to 27.
- When Goku says to Freeza that he won the game because he fought without his shirt (he bet Freeza he wouldn't after Freeza said he was going to fight without his hands).
You punched me in the face! Freeza
: You bit my tail! Goku
: You punched me in the face. Freeza
: YOU BIT MY F*CKING TAIL! Goku
: Yeah, well I still haven't used my shirt—(absolutely sincere)
Does that mean I win? Freeza
: ...yes! Yes, you win! Goku
: What do I win? Freeza:
Another bath! (Beat) Goku:
But I'm not dir— (Cut to Goku being drowned by Freeza) Freeza:
Just tell me when you need to come up for air.
- The following exchange, just after Vegeta's burial. Freeza's expression while saying the last line is priceless:
Freeza: Come now, I'm sure he's in a better place... Oh, who am I kidding? He's probably in Hell!
Goku: I don't know, I went to Hell once. The only real bad part was these two oiled-up German guys trying to wrestle me.
Freeza: ...are you real?
- Goku denounces Freeza as a monster who kills anyone, even children:
Freeza: Oh please, everyone's always on about the children. I already tried leaving them alive, but all they do is grow up under my rule or dedicate their pathetic lives to revenge. Usually both. Really, killing them this a kindness. I can retract that kindness if you wish, but then who's the villain?
Goku: (totally lost) Y... you.
Freeza: N-no, that was a rhetorical question.
Goku: And I gave you a rhetorical answer!
Freeza: ...Good lord, I traded Vegeta for this.
- Goku's brain appearing to be voiced by Orson Welles, at least if its garbled comments about "frozen peas" while Goku is drowning were any indication.
- Vegeta's spirit animal falling out of Freeza's ear.
- The beginning;
Goku: Vegeta, no!
Gohan: Vegeta, no!
Krillin: Don't worry, Gohan. Little Green'll- (Shot of Dende's corpse) ...oh. Vegeta, no!
- Goku bites Freeza's tail. 'Nuff said.
- Goku continuing to be a terrible father.
Goku: Piccolo, you take care of Gohan.
Piccolo: So... keep doing what I've been doing, then?
Piccolo: Yeah, I figured. Let's go!
Krillin: Oh thank god!
Piccolo and Krillin fly away.
Gohan: (whispering) Dad... beat him within an inch of his life... AND HANG HIM UP BY HIS ENTRAILS!
Goku: (To himself) Wow, he sounds like he's had a hard time. Piccolo should really have a talk with him.
- Freeza asking if Goku wants to play a "game".
(threateningly) Want to play a game? Beat Goku: Yes...
- After the "pinball" game:
So how did you like that game, monkey? Goku:
Eh, it was okay. Freeza:
Wha...How did you- Goku:
It's no Donkey Kong
though. That has a pie level! Freeza:
(Wide eyed, says nothing. Leans forward making a creaking sound)
- Said Pinball game is followed by a high score board (With the new top scorer being ASS). It costs 1/2 Raditz for a new game.
- The high score board is actually the official power levels of said characters, which turns it into a majestic brag for Freeza!
- Why Vegeta got shot:
Goku: Vegeta, are you all right?
Vegeta: I have...a f**king hole in my chest... why didn't you block that one!?
Goku: I thought you had it!
Vegeta: (Passionately exasperated) No!
Freeza: It's funny how he's still talking, I could have sworn I hit a lung- (Vegeta coughs blood) Oh there it is!
- Freeza loses his patience with Goku.
Freeza: How do you function?
Goku: Hey, I'm just like any other guy. I pay my taxes one leg at a time!
Freeza: ...I'm going to drown you. I'm going to drown you like a sack of dumb puppies.
Goku: What? Why would you drown puppies!?
Freeza: (Snidely) Because they're cute and cuddly.
Goku: Are...you coming on to me?
- The end of the episode:
(still holding Goku under the water) Any last words, monkey? Besides "gurgle gurgle?" Goku:
(Goku breaks out from under the water) Yeah! Kaio-ken! Freeza: Kaio-what? Goku:
KA! ME! HA! ME! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! (He apparently obliterates Freeza) Freeza:
(Emerges from the blast relatively unscathed) No, seriously. Kaio-what? Goku: Kaio-crap! Freeza:
I thought so. (He attacks Goku)
- The disclaimer is read by Krillin, followed by this gem of an exchange.
Lanipator: That was perfect, Krillin. Don't worry about your check, we'll send it to your next of kin.
- Freeza after pulling Goku out of the water
Now what do you have to say for yourself, monkey? Goku:
(Spits up onto Freeza's face) Beat Freeza:
(Starts kicking Goku repeatedly) Goku:
AH! OH! Son of a-!
- The entire bit with the Ginyu Force on King Kai's planet. Including lines from Yamcha.
- King Kai's casual reaction to the tree Guldo threw at his house.
King Kai: Hey, I was just inside, taking a crap, I'm old, takes a while, come out, there's a tree in my living room... What's up?
- And when the Ginyus get kicked down to hell by King Kai:
- This exchange:
No, I can't lose. I have to beat you. You're evil, and you have to be stopped! Freeza:
Oh, come now. If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then let God strike me down where I stand. (lightning strikes Freeza, to no effect
) HA! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!
- Freeza's frustration at not understanding what Goku's up to with the Spirit Bomb.
Freeza: There you go again, throwing your hands up in the air like you just don't care. CARE, DAMN IT!
- Freeza gets hit by the Spirit Bomb:
Freeza: (in a calm tone despite the look of horror on his face) ...Oh. Somehow I completely forgot about that.
[The Spirit Bomb absorbs his attack with an "om nom nom" sound]
Freeza: (still calm) Oh my god.
Freeza: (thinking) If I had any single regret for the countless horrific events that have transpired in my wake, it's that I'm dying.
- The Call Back to Piccolo having Goku distract Raditz while Goku is charging the spirit bomb. This time, the positions are reversed.
Piccolo: Did you just hold a grudge?
- Freeza's reappearance: "By the way, not dead. Kthanx DIE."
- When Freeza kills Krillin after taking out Piccolo:
(After seeing Piccolo taken out) Oh, for a moment I thought that was going to be me. Freeza:
Ohoho, you're next. Krillin:
Wait, what'd I ever do to you? Freeza:
Remember my tail
Can't you take a joke?
* Freeza gives an ugly stare at Krillin
, while Krillin
gives a smile* Krillin: AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! AAAH! *explodes*
* Beat* *Krillin's Owned Count goes to 28*
- The stinger, after Freeza kills Krillin:
- Freeza finally loses his cool.
Freeza: That's stupid! You're stupid! Stop being stupid!
Goku: Or...maybe I'm being rhetorical.
Freeza: NO! NO YOU'RE NOT! God, it's like you just use words you hear randomly to try and sound smarter!
Goku: Huh. Well, now you're just acting transcendent.
Freeza: RR! (Kicks Goku)
- "RECOOOOOOOOOOOMEEE! DIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEE!
- After Guldo throws the tree at King Kai's house:
Whoa, little quick to the trigger there, Ace! Guldo:
Sorry, I kinda lost my head there after I... lost my head
- Freeza spotting the huge Spirit Bomb above him.
What is that glare? That's not a sun, it's not a moon and it's certainly not a space station
- what is that? (looks up
) What... is... that - What is that!? Goku:
Are we still playing twenty questions? Freeza:
You were planning to use this on me, weren't you!? Goku:
- Also, Krillin keeps blurting out what Goku's doing, and how strong the Spirit Bomb is.
Piccolo: Shut up!
Krillin: Too scared!
Piccolo: Damn it!
Freeza: What is that fool yammering on about?
Goku: He's talking about...ghosts.
Goku: (Eyes shifting) Yeah, you know... Spirits? ...Ghosts?
Part 1 of 3
Part 2 of 3
- A very pissed off Goku still brings the funny:
- Goku's Badass Boast.
I am the hope of the omniverse! I am the light bulb in the darkness! I am the bacon in the fridge for all living things to cry out in hunger! I am the alpha and the Amiga! I am the terror that flaps in the night!
I am Son Goku, and I am a Super- Freeza laser blasts his face Goku:
(leans forward unharmed
- Freeza not knowing how long the planet is going to take to blow up and just guesses 5 minutes... Not even close.
- Freeza tries to barter with Goku:
If you let me power up... I'll give you a pizza! Goku:
...You killed my best friend, Freezer. That's not going to work anymore. Freeza: TWO
PIZZAS! Goku: I SAID I'M DONE! (Goku charges at him, screaming) Freeza: With
stuffed crust. (Goku immediately stops on a dime) Beat King Kai: (sternly) Goku... Goku:
Now hear me out, King Kai. If I let him power up to 100% and beat him then, it will demoramalize him and he'll never threaten anyone again. King Kai:
Goku, that is retarded. Goku:
STUFFED CRUST, KING KAI! YOU CAN EAT IT IN REVERSE
. (Inside Goku's eye is an actual stuffed crust pizza being ripped apart)
- Shenron acknowledges Mr. Popo as his master and asks him if it's finally time to lay waste to the Earth. Popo tells him, "Eh...not yet. Give 'em a couple hundred years. See if they can clean this up."
- Then this exchange happens:
Shenron: Then how might I be of service, Lord Popo?
Popo: Good question. Kami, the f**k am I doing?
Kami: Good question. King Kai, the f**k is he doing?
King Kai: Aw, my head!
- King Kai's attempt to talk to Mr. Popo telepathically. His antennae explode. And Mr. Popo then gets to fire off the best line in the saga:
King Kai: How the hell do you work with this guy?
Kami: It's easier than you think.
(Cut to Mr. Popo about to summon the dragon)
Mr. Popo: I AM SO F**KING HIGH RIGHT NOW.
- Freeza becomes upset when Goku stops speaking and, after going into a rant about how superior he is to the now-Super Saiyan, decides to blow up Namek. Goku's response to this?
Goku: Wait, I zoned out there for a second. Wha?
King Kai: ...No...! NO NO SONUVABITCH! GAAAH!!
- This exchange:
King Kai: Are you questioning GOD?
Kami: Are you?
- When Freeza fails to blow up Namek
Goku: D-Did you miss?
Freeza: How could I miss?!
Goku: I dunno, how did ya?
Freeza: I know I hit the core... God, this always happens when I try and perform under stress.
Part 3 of 3
- Guru upon resurrection:
Guru: Ahh! Oh. Right, I stopped my heart for a couple minutes there. (Notices destruction of Namek) Oh god, global warming!? NAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIII-
- Vegeta coming back:
- Guru confessing to the Namekians that he's the one who drank all their planet's water, not the Albino Namekians, before dying of old age (a second time). Except he wasn't dying. The mob of angry Namekians fixes this, though.
Guru: Remember when I said that [the albino Namekians] were responsible for the disappearance of our precious water?
Namekian 1: We slaughtered thousands...
Guru: It was me.
Namekian 2: How!?
Guru: I drank it.
Namekian 3: Wha-!?
Guru: How do you think I got so FAT?
Namekians: *Stunned Silence*
Guru: And now I can die with a clear conscience. Hurk! Err! *still alive* Uh... UGH! *still alive* Uh oh.
Namekian 4: KILL HIM!
Guru: NO! NAAAAAAAAAAAIL! *carnage* Choke on them! Oh god why?!
- Plus there's Gohan, Bulma, Piccolo and Vegeta's shocked expressions while this goes on.
- Freeza and the revived Dende's brief conversation after the latter makes the final wish before Freeza does.
[Everyone on the planet except Goku and Freeza vanishes sent away] Freeza: What? No! This isn't what I wished for? What's going on?!
Dende: Down here!
Freeza: YOU! No... No you didn't!
Dende: So what if I did? What are you going to do about it, huh? Come at me bro! [Freeza fires at him, then Dende poofs away before it hits]
- Dende wishing everyone except Goku and Freeza to Earth with Porunga. When King Kai asks how he knew that part of the plan, Dende simply says that he just wanted to screw over Freeza. The music helps.
- During Goku and Freeza's fight...
Dirty monkey... Huh? Where— [Goku appears in front of him, two heads higher and with his abs in front of Freeza's face] Oh my god
, you could grind meat on th
—[stumbles back] AH!
- Then immediately after...
I'm done. Freeza:
I'm done fighting you. I'm bored. You're boring me. Freeza:
Wha— Oh, I get it. You're scared
, aren't you? Afraid knowing this planet has one minute left
before it explodes! Goku:
Huh? Goku: Do you have a watch? Freeza:
No, why? Goku: Do you know what a minute is? Freeza:
What? Of course I do! Goku:
I don't think you do... Freeza:
- Goku, deciding that Freezer's tougher at 100%, decides to 'Stratergize';
Goku: (thinking) I know! A distraction! Hey, look, Freezer! A giant dragon!
Freeza: What? (Sees Porunga) Well I'll be damned. Immortalityismine! (Flies off)
Goku: (thinking) Ohhh, I am become error.
- Freeza's Non Sequitur Thud after being bisected:
Freeza: Daddy, I don't want to be on Namek anymore...
- Guru calling for Nail:
Guru: Nail! NAIL! NAAAAAAAAIL!
Piccolo: (thinking) I think he's looking for you.
Nail: Do not tell him I'm here.
Guru: Nail! I can sense you.
- Freeza tries to finish Goku off with a Ki-enzan... only to have trouble controlling it.
Freeza: What are these, inverted controls?!
- Vegeta trying to get off Namek his own way...
Alright, I know one of the Ginyu's ships has to be around here some—what
... (Vegeta sees Goku and Freeza fighting) Vegeta:
Yeah, think I'm-a stay away from that one. (sees Porunga) That
- Goku kidney punching Freeza:
Goku: AH! Bad touch! Kidney shot! (whap!)
Goku: Kidney shot, (whap!) kidney shot, (whap!) kidney shot (whap!), and pause...
Freeza: (whimpering in abject pain)
Goku: STOMACH PUNCH!
Freeza: (collapses, pukes up blood) Gonna whiz red.
- A blink and you miss it moment; when Freeza bear hugs Goku from behind and forces him to make kidney shots, he squeaks.
- Vegeta saying "Lord Freeza!", which is what Cui did to distract Vegeta.
- Dende heals Piccolo:
Dende: May I hug you?
- Vegeta admits he killed a Namekian village, so they weren't brought back to live along with the other Nameks. Guru praises him for doing that, and admits he hates all the other Namekians... except one child. Cue dragon balls falling back down to earth and one crushing said child. Guru laughs.
- Goku slaps Freeza silly.
Goku: SAY YOU'RE SORRY! (repeatedly slaps Freeza's face, with particular slow motion focus to how his face looks each hit) ARE YOU SORRY YET?!
Freeza: I think I peed a little.
- Goku's and Freeza's Volleying Insults:
Freeza: You're nothing but an overgrown monkey!
Goku: And you're nothing but an overgrown that thing Chi-Chi keeps in her drawer!
Freeza: Will you just piss off?
Goku: I don't have to use the bathroom!
- Freeza fails to control his destructo disk, while Goku, who was about to leave, looks on.
- Goku's endless puns.
Freeza: AGH! My organs! Stay in there, stay in your home, daddy needs you!
Goku: Wow, Freezer, you really were a cut above the rest. (Freeza groans) But too bad you didn't make the cut. (Freeza groans harder) I guess you could call this a slice of life.
Freeza: Please stop!
Goku: Alright, I'll cut you a break. I gotta split.
- Goku finds the muffin button!
The controls! Where is it, where is it? King Kai:
It's about to blow! Goku:
Come on, come on! (finds the button) There! (presses it) (Out comes... a muffin.)
Yes!!! (keeps pressing button and more muffins pop up) King Kai:
...oh my god... Goku:
(muffins keep popping up
) YAAAAAAAAYYYYY— (Namek explodes)
- Tien lampshading how death is inconsequential in the Dragon Ball Z universe.
Tien: We're literally waiting to go back. Hell, this is Chiaotzu's second time.
Chiaotzu: Next time I get a free sundae!
- Bulma relaying King Kai's message that Goku is dead and that Namek is gone.
Bulma: Well, uh... Gohan, Goku's dead...
Bulma: Namekians, your planet blew up...
Namekians: (in unison) Dammit!
- When Dr. Briefs' ship arrives, Gohan senses a dark presence coming from it. Cue Chi-Chi dashing out of it.
- Krillin's revival, still screaming in terror.
- And how Dende kept trying to get out of wishing him back.
- Dende declaring his love for Gohan and when Gohan is understandably stunned by this he freaks out and immediately has Porunga teleport all the Namekians from old Namek to the new Namek.
- The second stinger, available only at teamfourstar.com:
- Made better by King Cold's ultra-campy effeminate voice.
- Bulma asking Vegeta if he wants to stay at her place.
Vegeta: Only if it's got a pool!
- Bulma and Yamcha's telepathic spat, which ends by Tien breaking Yamcha's (good) leg.
- Bulma pointing out that perhaps summoning Porunga in the middle of a major city is a bad idea. Cue
- Dende asking if Porunga can grant them six wishes to save time.
Cause, we're just gonna bring you back in four months and do this crap again, plus we're just bringing some schmucks back to life. Porunga:
Well, it is unconventional, but considering the ease of these wishes, I will accommodate. Dende:
And a new planet. Porunga:
Now that is just a dick move! Dende:
Well, let's get the hard one out of the way. Build the Namekians a new Namek! Porunga: (beat)
- Also, Vegeta leaving CapsuleCorp in a spaceship, which the narrator describes as "doing what he does best."
Sayonara, bitches! Dr. Briefs:
Sonuvabitch took my scotch! Bulma: Call me
- The Brick Joke about how every place Namek looks exactly the same comes back in all its glory when Goku is trying to escape the explosion:
Goku: (thinking) Where am I? Where's my ship? Everything looked the same before, and now it’s all the same, but on fire!
- Freeza asking Goku for help.
Freeza: As one neighbor to another, can you spare a cup of energy?
Goku: (contemplating) Well...
King Kai: (telepathically) NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Tien: (referring to King Kai not telling them about what's happening) I'm not even asking anymore.
- And then Goku doing it anyway.
- Tien forcing King Kai to just narrate instead of doing dramatic gasps so someone else will ask a question. King Kai eventually just blurts it out when he can't get them to respond.
Tien: Was that so hard?
- The Stinger, involving Nappa returning to life, since everyone who was killed by Freeza and his men were wished back and Vegeta was working for Freeza when he killed Nappa. Also, Nappa becomes a Hollywood producer and is currently making an autobiographical film called Citizen Nappa. With Mark Satan.
Nappa: Need to work on the first name, thinking Hercule...