Characters: Team Fortress 2 Non Player Characters
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The Administrator (Real name: Helen)
"It saddens me that despite my best efforts to instruct and better you, some of you insist on finding new ways to fail."The Voice
. Also known as the Announcer, The Administrator is the source of the mysterious disembodied voice that announces vital events during the match, angrily berates the team upon failure and congratulates them upon victory. This disappointed and slightly angry Evil Overlord
clearly lets you know in the world of Team Fortress, a tie does not mean everyone wins, but that everyone loses.
The Administrator secretly controls both RED and
BLU (and, by extension, every country on the planet), supporting each team when necessary. To prevent either team from realizing this, she condemns any friendship between RED and BLU. She has an assistant named Miss Pauling and is also an acquaintance of Saxton Hale, allowing her to influence production of new weapons. The Administrator has an affinity for cigarettes and Punishment Monthly
magazine, and occasionally posts on the official Team Fortress 2
blog, usually to berate the players for abusing glitches or exploits to gain unlockable items
The Administrator provides examples of:
- Art Evolution/Progressively Prettier: Compare her original design with the picture on the far right.
- The Baroness: Rosa Klebb variety.
- Big Bad: Well, she used to be. Gray Mann's abrupt murder of Redmond and Blutarch pretty much stole the title from her.
- Big Good: She starts to take on this role when Gray enters the picture, especially as of "Ring of Fired". Whether her ulterior motives are actually noble or not remains a mystery, however.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Some of her Mann vs. Machine responses have her directly stating that the players lost the game.
"Do not all die at once!"
- Busman's Holiday: She spends her one hour per year of vacation time in the park... making the pigeons fight each other.
- Card-Carrying Villain: Just read the first paragraph of this blog post.
- The Chessmaster/Manipulative Bitch: Helen's plans for the Australium cache she stole are so shocking that their Un Reveal reduces an entire senate hearing to horrified silence◊.
- In "Ring of Fired", it's revealed she stole all of Saxton Hale's Australium just in case Gray Mann won.
- As of A Cold Day In Hell, Charles Darling has reminded us of the above mystery - the Administrator has amassing the largest collection of Australium outside of Australia itself for years in secret. Why is she doing this?
- Blood in the Water gives a fake-out to her motives: it LOOKS like she wants to power yet another Australium life-extender machine, but it's made clear that it won't save her life for more than a few years, enough to settle some "final debts".
- Color-Coded for Your Convenience: In a World where a lot of guys dressed up in red fight a lot of guys dressed up in blue, it's telling that she dresses in purple.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Fine with murder and deception, but really hates cheating. It robs you of the feeling of superiority you get from you besting your foes!
- Evil Laugh: "The bomb has almost reached the final terminus! Ah-hahahaha!!!" Well... at least she's happy for once...
- Feels No Pain: Apparently she's suffering from nerve dampening in her old age. Well, OK, that was partly a lie. She's so old that her nerves have decayed to the point that she, by her own admission, doesn't feel anything anymore. Implicitly demonstrated by getting her old Life Extender - which was sunken bone-deep into her arm - torn out and replaced without any anesthetic.
- Grandma, What Massive Hotness You Have: Saxton Hale thinks so, calling her a "chain-smoking seductress".
- I Control My Minions Through Revenge/Fear: Inciting conflict amongst former friends could only distract the Team from thinking about who was calling the shots for so long. Luckily for Helen, in this universe, Even Evil Has Loved Ones, and The Administrator's threats to the people and things most precious to the Team are enough to let the Team know what's in store if they ever make a move against her.
- Identical Granddaughter: Bears a strong resemblance to Zeph Mann's maidservant Elizabeth, down to the Skunk Stripe. Same with the woman that entices Radigan Conagher with the Australium some decades later. With the revelation that the Administrator has been using a Life Extender, these are probably all the same person.
- In Love with Your Carnage: See Evil Laugh. Also, she has several, uh, excited unused responses for players going on kill streaks in Arena mode, which you may still hear on servers with stat-tracking mods installed.
- During the WAR! update, whenever a Soldier killed a Demoman or vice versa, she enjoyed it maybe a bit too much:
"Kill him, slaughter him like a dog!"
"Dominate him! Crush his bones to powder!"
"Kill him again, and again and AGAIN!"
- Iron Lady: She runs a conspiracy that controls every government on the planet, and is just as ruthless and sour as parasitic mold on a lemon tree.
- Large Ham Announcer: But of course.
- Especially noticeable in her screeches of "AUSTRALIUM" in Special Delivery mode.
- The Man Behind the Man: Or, in this case, The Woman Behind the Manns.
- Mission Control (Is Off Its Meds): Type 1, for both opposing teams.
- Mysterious Employer
- Older Than They Look: Played straight for a while, but then averted when her Life Extender has been shown to be failing in Blood in the Water; she's now exactly as wrinkled, decrepit and generally unhealthy-looking as you'd expect from someone who's burnt through at least one Life Extender machine.
- Pet the Dog: Say what you will about her, but she certainly rewards excellent performance. Get a A+ credit rating in Mann Vs. Machine, and she'll give the team a bonus. Considering cash is absolutely vital in this mode, especially in Mann Up Mode, it's quite generous of her, and she's hardly reluctant about giving it out, either.
- In Blood in the Water, she shows a surprising amount of empathy at one point, admitting to Miss Pauling that she is proud of her and apologizing for snapping at her moments beforehand.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: "Tank! Kill it!"
- Purple Is Powerful: She controls both teams, which are colored red and blue. Yep.
- Really 700 Years Old: Most likely the oldest living character in the series, easily somewhere over 150. It helps that she has a Life Extender far superior to the ones the Manns use.
- Skunk Stripe
- Villainous Cheekbones
- The Voice: Whose tones range from arch triumph to poisonous contempt, depending on how badly you're failing her.
- Voice Of Dramatic: She can make an announcement of Poopy Joe being launched into space sound proud and significant.
- What Is This Thing You Call Friendship: She has to ask Miss Pauling what friends do together, and she won't stand for it developing across the RED/BLU lines.
- With Us or Against Us: A variation of this during the WAR! update, to the Soldier and Demoman:
- Workaholic: Apparently, her vacation time is one hour per year.
- This obviously explains Pauling's limited vacation time as well. One must have to wonder how much Pauling had to haggle for the other 23 hours.
- You Have Failed Me: Plenty of times, usually when your team loses, and hilariously parodied in the WAR! update when she classifies friendship as a personal failure.
- You Owe Me: During Mann vs. Machine:
"The robots are here! Protect Mann. Co! You owe me, Hale."
"You know, forgetting for a minute that we don't condone friendship, it's sort of... almost... uh... reprehensible. Totally and completely reprehensible."
The Administrator's young and perky assistant, taking care a variety of odd jobs ranging from secretarial duties to carrying out hits and disposing of bodies. Despite having a much more merciful attitude, she still gets her jobs done efficiently.
Miss Pauling provides examples of:
- Action Girl: Has hints of this. While she's no mercenary herself, she's not afraid to do clean-work with her guns and was ready to storm RED base by herself and a shotgun to find RED's intelligence.
- Ascended Extra: Sort-of. Before "Expiration Date" she had only cameos in the game's online videos, but now she's the first non-playable character to get a main character role in said videos.
- Beleaguered Assistant/Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: To every member of the team, including the Administrator. In the Australian Christmas/Smissmas update, she desperately tries to stop the Spy from involving a child in a shopping mall massacre. The Spy outright ignores her, though thanks to him, the child singlehandedly takes out the Humanoid Abomination Old Nick with an icicle to the neck.
- Big Damn Heroes: During "Unhappy Returns" where she saves the Soldier, Demoman, Scout, and Spy from getting hanged.
- Blood Knight: A more subdued example, but "Expiration Date" showed that she found battling a bread-derived abomination for her life to be exciting.
- But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Murder is apparently just another day in the office for Pauling. "Expiration Date" has her disposing of witnesses from the Mercs' latest shenanigans... while at the same time having a video chat with said Mercs. Her possible plans for a date with Scout involve burying said witnesses' bodies.
- Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Pretty much the basic of her job. By "Expiration Date" she had become mission control, cleanup crew and backup member for the merc group in case of emergency.
- Cleanup Crew: Most of her job involves cleaning up evidence and killing witnesses.
- Closer to Earth/Team Mom/Unfazed Everyman: Relatively Closer to Earth, that is. Especially evident in "Ring of Fired":
Soldier: Miss Pauling, Pyro cut off my hand!
Miss Pauling: Pyro, don't cut off Soldier's hands.
- Color-Coded for Your Convenience: Since she does work for the Administrator, it's only fitting that she also wears purple.
- Consummate Professional: Takes her work very seriously, to the point of having nonchalant chat with Sniper (the team's Consummate Professional) about the most efficient body disposal techniques while doing their jobs.
- Crossdresser/Girls With Mustaches: Her policeman uniform in "Ring of Fired" consists of a baggy policeman's uniform and a mismatched mustache. It ends up fooling Merasmus (but not Soldier, who sees through her disguise immediately).
- Do Wrong, Right: After talking the Sniper out of killing her and the Demoman she critiques the shallow graves he left as giving himself too much work when he should have cut up their corpses to speed up the decomposition rate.
Ten minutes with a saw will save you thirty with a shovel.
- The Dragon: While she's definitely a nice girl, she's also capable of casual cold blooded murder.
- Even Evil Has Standards/Wouldn't Hurt a Child: Miss Pauling will respect the letter of the law, when doing otherwise would result in bad publicity for her company. In what may be a more genuine example of morals and ethics, she seems truly terrified at the prospect of the BLU Team putting a little boy in danger.
- Graceful Ladies Like Purple
- Green Eyes: In "Expiration Date", making her the first white character in the game to have an eye color other than blue.
- Hartman Hips
- Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Spends a lot of time around Demoman, Soldier, and Heavy, all of whom are much taller and bulkier than she is.
- I Control My Minions Through Authority: She tries, bless her heart. She tries so hard.
- I Need a Freaking Drink: Downs a glass of wine when she learns that Bill-Bel blew up most of his Australium cache by painting failed rockets with it.
- Limited Wardrobe: Averted. She wears a different (though always purple) outfit every time she appears.
- Meganekko: Scout admits this is part of the reason why he crushes on her.
- Manipulative Bitch: Miss Pauling will lie, turn friend against friend, and put a bullet through her fellow employee's brains, all while maintaining a pleasant demeanor and a (relatively) cool head.
- After "Ring of Fired", she apparently had become very attached to the RED Team, to the point of trusting her secrets and her life to the mercs.
- Mission Control: Comic-only example, but during the Administrator's absence, she seems to be the one coordinating the mercenaries' battle plans in between missions.
- Miss Exposition/The Watson: Serves as the former to the Admin and the Team while also being slightly out of touch with how things are run on the field.
- Morality Pet: This blog post suggests she's this to her boss, at least a little. "Shadow Boxers" also suggests she's this to a couple members of the Team.
- Motor Mouth: When she gets really excited at the end of "Expiration Date".
Miss Pauling: That... was so... much... fun!
Scout: You're not mad?
I was furious!
Oh my god, you set off the briefcase alarm!
And you were having a prom for...some reason. But then there was a monsterandweshotitandIbuiltabombandIthinkmylegsbroken
- Must Have Lots of Free Time: Inverted, she apparently only has one day off per year. She hangs out with the mercs during her time on instead.
- Nerds Are Sexy: In "Expiration Date", Scout specifically cites her ability to read and her slightly crooked glasses as things he finds attractive about her.
- Not So Above It All: Downplayed example. While having good reason to be skeptical of the Soldier's methods to infiltrate Gray Mann Co. for espionage, she readily goes through with it herself when she realizes that it does in fact work (at least until the Mecha Engineer was created).
- Played pretty damn straight in "Expiration Date" when she gets exceptionally hyper after helping RED fight off a large bread monster.
- One Name Only
- Only Sane Woman: Undoubtedly the crown queen of the trope out of everyone in Team Fortress. While she fears the Administrator and is unamused by the wackiness of the mercenaries, she manages to keep calm and composed in all but the most dire of circumstances.note "Ring of Fired" has shown that she's even grown used to the mercs, which is quite impressive.
- By "Expiration Date", she is pretty much become one of the guys, showing that she has a close relationship or as close those of the team have with one another, acting as a hitman in case of an emergency (stolen briefcase scenario) and finding their shenanigans extremely enjoyable.
- Perky Female Minion/Silk Hiding Steel: Despite breaking friendships and killing several people, she still comes across as this. Push her too far, though, and that mask of sweetness will slip.◊
- Plucky Office Girl: Despite being the boss's secretary and ground control for the Mercs, Miss Pauling receives little respect from the Administrator and the Team; her efforts to avoid bad situations have either been ignored or backfired spectacularly.
- Punch Clock Villain: Despite probably being the sweetest and most "normal" character in the TF2 universe, she's more than willing to casually get her hands dirty with a revolver and a bag of quicklime.
- The Reliable One: Miss Pauling's efforts to clean up the Mercs' messes and give them good publicity are pretty much the only reason they haven't been arrested and executed.
- Revolvers Are Just Better: She's seen using all sorts of handguns, including a Hand Cannon, a silenced pistol and a Derringer.
- Skewed Priorities: While downplayed considerably when compared to the Mercs, it's still there.
"This isn't just a fight for MannCo, or Saxton Hale. It's a fight for your jobs."
- Straight Woman: Given the sheer audacity of pretty much every other relevant character in the Team Fortress universe, she winds up being this by default.
- Suddenly Voiced: Finally appears as a major character in an official video, complete with a voice and her own model.
- Workaholic: Enforced. She only gets one day off per year.
- Yes-Man: Miss Pauling usually obeys the Administrator, though there are a few hints that Miss Pauling is afraid of what will happen if things don't go The Administrator's way.
"Half the time even I don't know why I'm hitting something!"Testosterone Poisoning
personified. Saxton Hale is the rugged Australian CEO of Mann Co., star of the Saxton Hale's Thrilling Tales
comic series and an all-around man among men whose favorite pastimes include fighting, drinking and battling with rare and ferocious animals. Identifying features include his exceptional moustache, trademark shirtlessness, rippling muscles, crocodile-tooth lined hat and a patch of chest hair shaped like Australia. Saxton is the latest Hale to take up the reins of Mann Co. since Zepheniah Mann left its ownership to loyal aide and tracker Barnabus Hale in his last will and testament. His boisterous presence is felt in all areas of the company, from the slogan ("We sell products and get in fights"
) to the customer forms, which include tickboxes for informing product-thieving rivals that he is coming to pummel them to death with his bare hands. His inspiring image also features on numerous Mann Co. catalogs and promotional materials. He is known (and feared) for his belief in handling customer service issues personally, with his official policy being: "If you aren't 100% satisfied with our product line, you can take it up with me!"
Saxton Hale provides examples of:
- Arms Dealer
- Ascended Extra: He started off as a small image in an update page, and later became one of the major storyline characters. As of the Mann Vs. Machine update, he's now the new boss of the former RED and BLU teams (though he's not paying them).
- Awesome Aussie: The MOST awesome.
- Badass Boast: I have PERSONALLY MANSLAUGHTERED 1,593 physicians in various forms of unarmed and/or unwilling combat (from a letter in which he hears about a Who Would Win contest between him and Dr. McNinja).
- Badass Mustache
- Blood Knight: Whether against a dastardly villain, a monstrous beast, an army of robots, or a bunch of hippies protesting his products, Hale lives for a fight.
- Ends up being his downfall in "Ring of Fired". His policy of handing over the company to any other CEO that could beat him in bare-knuckled combat allowed Gray Mann to take Mann Co., by making his preteen daughter CEO of his own company, whom Saxton couldn't bring himself to beat up.
- Boisterous Bruiser
- Carpet of Virility: In the shape of Australia, no less.
- Generation Xerox: Grandson of Barnabus Hale. Barnabus even got into random fights with animals just like Saxton does. As shown in the Loose Canon comic:
Barnabus Hale: Skip me for now, mayor! I like this cougar's pepper sauce!
- Explosive Instrumentation: As shown here, his company's stuff seems to just go on fire, or melt. He claims it to be intentional, because they're products for men. The comic this fact first appeared in was later declared to be non-canon, but the gag itself shows up again in the one year Manniversary catalogue.
- Everyone Has Standards: He has very violent policies in place as CEO, such as accepting a takeover only if the rival CEO personally beats him in combat. But he falters with he finds the head of Gray Gravel is a little girl, since he can't bring himself to beat her up.
- Good Old Fisticuffs: The only way of fighting he accepts.
- Honest John's Dealership: He takes pride in selling shoddy products that catch on fire.
- I Control My Minions Through Money: The promise of a steady paycheck and a steady stream of carnage is what compels the mercs to stay after the gravel wars end.
- Implacable Man: In the game mod that makes him playable, he's one of these.
- I Was Quite a Looker: Despite being the one of the most muscular men in the world, Mags accuses him of gaining weight since he gained ownership of Mann Co.
- Land Down Under: And proud of it!
- Large Ham
- Meaningful Name: His last name, Hale, probably comes from the Saxon term haelaeh, which refers to qualities of heroism such as courage or strength.
- Naked People Are Funny: There are little other possible reasons for appearing on the cover of "Ring of Fired" seen from behind wearing only his shoes and socks. Good thing he has them back by the next issue.
- Nice Hat
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: His actions (or inaction) during "Ring of Fired" render the entirety of the mercenaries' efforts at fighting the robots completely meaningless.
- Remember When You Blew Up The Moon?: The Apple employees are quick to apply a certain incident in which the moon gets blown up to Saxton Hale after it gets announced on a newscast.
- Sell Out: The main reason his relationship with Mags became estranged. 15 years before the "Mann Co. No More" storyline, Saxton was an animal fighting adventurer full time with Mags and promised her that he would never take a job at Mann Co. However, he did leave her when he inherited Mann Co. from his father and while he still spends a lot, if not most, of his time adventuring, he still didn't have enough time for Mags.
- Suspiciously Specific Denial: He and anyone associated with Mann Co were "nowhere near the launch site [of the rocket piloted by Poopy Joe], and have nothing whatsoever to do with the tragic explosion that occurred moments later."
- Testosterone Poisoning: He doesn't provide the trope picture for nothing.
- Unsound Effect: Tends to show up whenever he shows up in a comic (he's way too manly for normal ones).
- PROPERTY DAMAGE!
- BRAVE JUMP!
- Extends to anything that looks like him, as seen/heard when Soldier gives Old Nick a COMPOUND ELEVATED SKULL FRACTURE! with a statue of Hale.
- And in Loose Canon, Barnabas Hale is shown fighting a COUGAR!
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Apparently, one of the reasons is because he worried about getting rabies from clothing items that were bit by animals like racoons.
- Who Wears Short Shorts?: Obviously, only the MANLIEST of men.
- Wouldn't Hurt a Child: Even if it means losing his entire company. He is, however, OK with ordering his employees to fight one on his behalf, although it doesn't work because they Wouldn't Hurt a Child either.
Redmond and Blutarch Mann
Above: Redmond and Blutarch, 1850. Below: Redmond and Blutarch, 1971.
Redmond and Blutarch Mann
"I'm no closer to beating him than I was a hundred years ago!"
The two twin brothers
who own RED and BLU, respectively, and continually fight for ownership of a worthless parcel of land their father willed to them both. Blutarch decided to take the land by force by hiring nine mercenaries to perform a land grab; unfortunately, his brother thought to do the exact same. Since neither twin could take the land by force, both decided to simply outlive the other twin, hiring Radigan Conagher to build them a life extending machine. Turns out they aren't twins, but triplets, and their brother Gray killed them both in Blood Brothers.
Redmond and Blutarch Mann provide examples of:
- Always Identical Twins: Zig-zagged; Redmond and Blutarch are definitely this trope, but their fraternal brother Gray is decidedly not.
- Big Bad Duumvirate: They were the original owners of RED and BLU before The Announcer.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: As the announcers of the Helltower map, they might remark that "this update makes too much sense".
- Death Is a Slap on the Wrist: Blutarch dies once a day or so, his life extending machine bringing him back to life every time. The same apparently happens to Redmond.
Blutarch's assistant: Give him a moment, dear. He's just dead.
- Everyone Has Standards: Even a colossal dimwit like Redmond knows digging straight through an indian burial ground is a stupid idea.
- Evil Sounds Deep / Evil Sounds Raspy: Blutarch's voice is deep, Redmond's voice is raspy.
- Flanderization: When the game was first released, gravel pits were just some of the monetarily-worthless warzones that RED and BLU waged their Forever War on. Later the Mann family is shown to put the lion's share of their wealth in gravel-based investments, believing it to be a fuel source. Then as of 2013, Redmond and Blutarch use the word "gravel" in place of both "God" and "fuck/hell" in their dialogue.
- Gender Bender/Mr. Seahorse: Though never enacted, they were planning to build a machine to allow one of them to become pregnant. The plan itself is still not off the table, even when they're dead.
- Identical Twin ID Tag: Their suits are red and blue. However, a closer look (especially at their character models) reveals very subtle differences in jawline and aging between the two.
- Killed Off for Real: After a century of cheating death with their immortality machines, they are stabbed at the end of Blood Brothers by their brother, Gray.
- Large Ham: Oh, they're hammy in the comics when they want to be, but this goes straight up to high levels of ham in Helltower, thanks to Nolan North's voice.
- Mission Control Is Off Its Meds: They're the announcers in the Helltower map. And 90% of what they say is just bickering at each other.
- Missing Mom: She dies in childbirth off-panel.
- The Nothing After Death: According to Blutarch, who has been continually dying and reviving through the use of the immortality machine.
- Subverted when they both die and turn into ghosts. Not only do they flat-out state Hell exists, they both try to send each other to it. The players even visit it!
- Our Ghosts Are Different: Not really. They can pretty much still do everything they could do while they were alive.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: Blutarch does this twice, once to Radigan, once to Dell.
- Red Oni, Blue Oni: Subverted; they're both Red Onis.
- Shaggy Dog Story: They've become so obsessed with their feud and so stubborn/senile that they've failed to realise that A. Their father basically stabbed them in the back and gave their real birthright, Mann Co, to a third party, and B. The gravel they've spent decades fighting over is literally worthless in the modern world. Gray actually points this out to them right before he kills them.
- Sibling Rivalry: And how! It started literally the moment they were born. And it was so strong that they turned into ghosts because they weren't sure who died first!
- Skewed Priorities: Aside from what they were doing in the first place... So they've both been murdered by Gray, they're somehow able to manifest as ghosts that can basically do what they could do while alive (and more, considering the state of their bodies before they died). What do they do? Get revenge on Gray? Nope! Try to send each other to hell to settle the gravel wars once and for all!
Blutarch: (last words before being killed by Gray) No! We still have so much gravel to fight over!
- This Is My Side: In a sense…
- Too Dumb to Live: They spent their entire lives fighting over a worthless piece of land simply because neither wanted the other to have it. That's not even getting into their plans of having a machine built to make it so that one can get the other pregnant.
- Ungrateful Bastard: Whichever brother wins Helltower will send the losing team to Hell just to mock the losing brother... and he'll send his own winning team to Hell too just so he doesn't have to pay them.
- Sore Loser: Similar to the above, the losing brother also has the power to drag both teams to Hell with him.
- Upper-Class Twit: Pretty much a perfect example.
- Vague Age: Averted. They're 150 years old.
- Why Won't You Die?: Blutarch has this to say about his brother:
"I have mounted an epic campaign of leisure against the ravages of time. Waiting for nature to do to my brother what my men could not. And yet here we are at the end. And he... won't... DIE."
Zepheniah Nicodemus Mann
"I, Zepheniah Mann, being of sound mind, do hereby vow to haunt the earth as a horrifying poltergeist, until such time as I have quenched my all-consuming thirst for vengeance against the world, and especially against my dunderhead sons."
The above is taken from The Last Will And Testament of Zepheniah Mann
, which is about 90% of his entire existence in the game's related media. (The rest is appearing as a ghost on Harvest Event and Helltower.) Patriach of an arms dealing empire who wasted his fortune on worthless land in the Americas, his will sets up a posthumous vengeful scheme
to set his sons against each other forever
, and sets up
for this game.
According to his will, he has only given his belongings to five people: his maid Elizabeth who got his personal estate and the "miracle" gravel he wanted to keep away from Gray
, his tracker Barnabas Hale who took control of his business empire, and his sons Blutarch and Redmond Mann who got the land to fight over.
He appears on the map Harvest Event as a ghost to haunt the mercenaries for waging noisy battles over his grave. Any player who gets too close gets stunned for several seconds. He also cameos in Helltower, where he'll briefly converse with Redmond and Blutarch.
Zepheniah Mann provides examples of:
- Arms Dealer
- Asshole Victim: See Jerkass below. The numerous diseases he contracted (and eventually died of) while in the Americas. He was so sick he ended up writing his last will and testament on scraps of his own skin, but it's pretty hard to feel badly for him at all.
- Bedsheet Ghost: His undead form on Harvest Event.
- Biggest Bad: He's more or less the guy who's responsible for the eternal war between RED and BLU, and eventually, the Robot Wars of Mann Co. In short, the reason the Team Fortress world's the way it is? All his fault.
- Call Forward: Tons, not least the 'pit of gravel', as well as contracting marasmus, the disease Merasmus gets his name from.
- Gender Bender: Possibly? One of the many diseases he contracted before death was "womb fever, a complication from a serious bout of superfluous uterus".
- Generation Xerox: Had a brother of his own, Silas, but the story hasn't gone into whether or not Zepheniah and Silas had the same kind of relationship Redmond and Blutarch did.
- Jerkass: His response to his wife suffering Death by Childbirth while having triplets was "Good. At least she did something right."
- My Death Is Just the Beginning: He deliberately left the otherwise worthless land to both his sons, so they'd fight over it. He probably didn't predict just where this would lead...
- Pet the Dog: Generously rewards Elizabeth and Barnabas with his estate in his will: the former being given his estate and tobacco plantation, and the latter his entire Munitions company. Then again, it was either them or his sons...
- Offing the Offspring: He tried to kill Gray right after he was born for being ugly (and supposedly weak)
- Posthumous Character
- Rasputinian Death: In his trip to the Americas, he apparently contracted over two dozen horrible diseases.
- Trauma Conga Line
- Troll: He deliberately and posthumously screws over both his sons by splitting the worthless land they got him, knowing they'd be far too stupid to realize that he gave their true birthright to a third party, instead spending more than a century trying to kill each other, to the point where they managed to commission immortality machines to try and outlast each other as much as possible until Gray finally shows up and kills them, and even then, they still don't give up on that, instead focusing on trying to send each other to hell in order to win. Zepheniah's ghost is at least impressed by their tenacity, but he's more than happy to mock them both by telling them that Gray is his favorite.
- Waistcoat of Style: In ''Blood Brothers'', when he's discussing business with Barnabus Hale.
"Hale! I don't have all day."
Grays little "angel"
The daughter of Gray Mann and the CEO of Gray Gravel.
- Daddy's Little Villain: Despite her cute looks, she's just as nasty as her father.
- Kick the Dog: After firing Saxton Hale, she sets all the robots on non-violence mode to deny him the right to a proper fight.
- Little Miss Badass: Hilariously subverted: while she's all too eager to fight Saxton freaking HALE in a bare-knuckle fistfight, all her ankle-gripping, piggy-backing and hammering away with all she had did absolutely nothing against him, and she only "wins" because Saxton couldn't bring himself to beat up a child.
- Puppet King: Obviously, Gray is the real brains of the two, but even so she's been appointed CEO of Gray Gravel simply to cheat Saxton Hale out of Mann Co.
- Sheathe Your Sword: She wins the duel for control of Mann Co simply by being a little girl, since Saxton Hale was unwilling to beat her up.
"A hunter needs his trophies, Saxton. You of all people should understand that. You were my best student, once. Before you gave it all up, for her."
Very wealthy former adventurer and mentor of Saxton Hale, currently his nemesis. Owns Darling Zoos, and intends to capture every wild animal on the planet and put it in a cage instead of fighting them to the death. Hale comes to him for help after losing Mann Co. to Gray Mann
- Ascended Extra: Essentially, after his singular comic appearance that seemed to be a one-off-gag. Ever since Unhappy Returns, he's become much more involved in the overall plot, and is entirely aware of what the Administrator is up to, as he's going after her cache of Australium with Saxton's help, and might be personally curious about why she's been collecting the stuff.
- Badass in a Nice Suit: Most of his appearances have him in a tuxedo, or at the very least a waistcoat. While his fighting prowess is never shown, in the past he has brought down animals several times his size, and taught Saxton Hale how to do the same.
- The Collector: His goal is to make a collection of every animal in the world. He even has a few extinct ones.
- Early-Bird Cameo/The Bus Came Back: He was already showing up back in Hale's very first comics, but "Unhappy Returns" is the first time he gets more than a few panels in years along with his introduction into the plot proper.
- Egomaniac Hunter: He fully embodies the Egomaniac part of this trope to its fullest and beyond. How he passes the time? Reading his own literature, as in, books that he himself wrote.
- Enemy Mine: Forms one with Saxton to get Mann Co. back in exchange for Australium.
- Evil Mentor: Used to be Saxton's.
- Grey and Gray Morality: He wishes to capture all the animals in the world so he can keep them as trophies or make money off them in zoos. Saxton Hale wants to stop him so all his animals can run wild and free... so he can hunt them down and fight them to death with his bare hands.
- Immortality Seeker: Not Charles himself, but he wants to invest in Life-Extenders so his trophy animals can live forever in his collection.
- Punny Name: Of Charles Darwin.
- Villain Has a Point: While he's a cruel, twisted businessman who runs the "zoos" he's created solely for greedy, exploitative purposes, he's still the closest thing in-universe to a real conservationist. (As opposed to Saxton, who prints comics with gorilla blood for ink.)
The 1850's Team
Redmond and Blutarch's original team of mercs, which appeared to be comprised of some of the most famous men of that time.
- Beethoven Was an Alien Spy: Billy The Kid (Scout), "Stonewall" Jackson (Soldier), Abraham Lincoln as the Pyro (in this universe, Honest Abe also invented stairs), Nikola Tesla as the Engineer, John Henry as the Heavy Weapons Guy, Alfred Nobel as the Demoman, Sigmund Freud as the Medic, Davy Crockett as the Sniper, and Fu Manchu as the Spy.
- Drop the Hammer: Being that he's John Henry, the Heavy naturally uses this. His modern counterpart's minigun wouldn't be invented until 1960.
- Historical In-Joke: Of course Alfred Nobel would be the Demoman, he invented dynamite!
- Multinational Team: This team hails from the United States (Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Heavy, Sniper), Sweden (Demoman), modern-day Croatia (Engineer), Austria (Medic), and China (Spy).
- Nice Hat: Scout (cowboy hat), Soldier (Confederate uniform cap), Pyro (top hat, of course), Demoman (tattered prospector hat), and Sniper (coonskin cap, naturally).
- Scarf of Asskicking: Heavy was apparently fond of these.
- Token Minority: As the Demoman on this team is white, Heavy is African-American, instead.
Team Fortress Classic
The Classic Team
"Them? Don't worry about them. You've got
— Classic Heavy
The previous team of mercenaries from Team Fortress Classic
. Gray Mann reunites them to battle against the modern team. As revealed in "Catch Up Comic", they used to work with Redmond and Blutarch starting from 1930 before they were fired and replaced with the Modern Team.
- Archnemesis Dad: Might be the case in terms of Modern Engie/Dell vs. Classic Engie, since the Engineer Update revealed TFC Engie to be Dell's father.
- Artificial Limbs: Classic Engineer has an entire robotic lower half.
- Badass Grandpa: As old as the first game was, and when The Administrator told you to run instead of facing them, you know they're trouble.
- Band of Brothers/Badass Crew: Much more militaristic than the modern team and with none of the dysfunctionality. Classic Heavy specifically refers to the team as "my men" at one point and is visibly angry when he learns they may have been subjected to experiments by the modern Medic.
- Color-Coded for Your Convenience: The modern team has been wearing solely red garb since the disbanding of RED and BLU. These guys wear blue. This may possibly point towards an in-game appearance down the line, much like how Gray's robots are colored blue in-game and up against solely red mercs, despite initial promotional material depicting them as gray-colored and fighting a united RED/BLU force.
- Dangerously Genre Savvy: They know that simply killing Miss Pauling and the modern mercs now won't bring the Administrator out of hiding, so they're watching and waiting until she reveals herself. They also appear to have already found some Australium, much to Gray's visible delight.
- The Dragon: They report directly to Gray Mann and are just as dangerous as the modern team. Probably moreso; according to Gray, they "came highly recommended" and they've certainly proven why so far. The Classic Heavy in particular seems to be the team's leader.
- The Administrator gives credence to the "more dangerous" bit in Blood in the Water. She warns Miss Pauling about this team and, upon Pauling's assertion that she and the modern team can handle them, dismisses this and advises for her and the modern team to just run as soon as they encounter them. Her advice turns out to be well-founded.
- Knight of Cerebus: Much like Gray himself, the classic team is dead serious and much more competent and organized than their modern counterparts. Fitting, considering the tone of their game compared to that of TF2.
- Only Sane Man: Also like Gray, they don't exactly approve of the antics around them. Modern Medic has already done quite a bit to get on their nerves.
- As of Blood in the Water, these guys show just how much they're playing for keeps. Right after a tragic-yet-still-somewhat-goofy scene involving most of the modern mercs (along with Miss Pauling and Heavy's sister, Zhanna), these guys show up and any trace of humor immediately vanishes as Classic Sniper immediately puts two bullets in his modern counterpart's chest before anyone can even react. The issue immediately ends on a cliffhanger showing the classic team with a massive upper hand and the modern team looking utterly terrified.
- Only in It for the Money: Classic Heavy makes his team's priorities perfectly clear.
: [The Administrator will] have to reveal herself soon. When she does? We'll kill all of them. You'll
get your rocks
. And we'd
better get paid.
- Private Military Contractors: They certainly give off this vibe. They appear to act as a military unit and hire themselves out as a whole.
- Professional Killer: Just like our heroes, though much more emphasis on the "professional" part.
- Psycho Rangers: Brought out of retirement specifically to hunt down the modern team.
- Punch Clock Villain: They have absolutely no interest in the Australium and merely regard Gray as an employer with a paycheck to provide.
- Retcon / You Don't Look Like You: Possibly? Art from the Engineer Update implied the Classic Engy was current Engy's father, but this Engineer is either unrelated to him or looks much different due to age. This stands out moreso since Catch Up shows the whole team in their prime, and Classic Engy does look like Modern Engy's father.
- Put on a Bus: Classic Medic is either fully retired or dead.
- Retired Badass: All of them, but they've been brought out of retirement.
- Rogue Protagonist: Not that they were ever said to be the good guys in the original game, however.
- The Sixth Ranger: Ninth, rather. The only member of their team to have been replaced is Classic Medic, whose spot is now filled by the modern TF2 Medic.
The Mercs' Families
The mother of the Scout. Not much is known about her except that she is dating the other team's Spy.
Scout's Mom provides examples of:
- Absurdly Youthful Mother: Seriously, who the hell bears eight kids and looks like that? On top of that, if Scout's dream is to taken, she was once even hotter. She's also at least in her late 40's to early 50's now, as Scout himself is in his early 20's and the youngest of 8 kids.
- Satellite Love Interest: So far, her only notable quality is being the punchline for a Your Mom joke, and someone the Spy shows affection for.
BLU Scout: What are you, president of [RED Spy's] fanclub?
BLU Spy: No... That would be your mother! (displays photos of BLU Scout's Mom and RED Spy being intimate)
Mr. & Mrs. Degroot
The Demoman's parents. They gave up Demo as an child, and re-adopted him when his talents
began to show as part of admittedly stupid family tradition. The father is dead, while the mother now lives with her son.
Mr. and Mrs. Degroot provide examples of
- Blind Black Guy: Both of Demoman's parents are blind. His mother even berates her son for still having one eye left into adulthood.
- Jerkass Has a Point: She would have berated Demoman anyway while he was overachieving, but did have a point that he really let himself go after being fired from Mann Co.
- Parental Abandonment: As stated, they gave him up and took him back after his talent for explosives began to show.
- Pet the Dog: Mrs. Degroot finally praises her son when he gets his old job back with Mann Co.
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy: Demoman is constantly trying to please his mother, who complains about all his purported lack of effort.
- Workaholic: Mr. Degroot had 23 jobs in his life, and Mrs. Degroot thinks her son is slacking for only having one, even though he's already made a small fortune.
Mr. Jonathan & Mrs. Mundy
The parents of the Sniper. Apparently do not approve of his chosen career. As revealed in "Blood in the Water," they're not his birth parents.
Mr. Jonathan & Mrs. Mundy provide examples of:
- Expy: Visually resemble Eustace and Muriel Bagg of Courage the Cowardly Dog. According to Word of God, this was intentional.
- Killed Offscreen: According to Sniper, he found them dead in their home just after he was fired from Mann Co.
- Why Couldn't You Be Different?: According to Sniper, they're not big fans of what he does for a living. In his Meet the Team video, Sniper is seen arguing with his father over the phone on the subject.
Bill-Bel and Lar-Nah (big spoilers)
These people are the birth parents of the Sniper. Years ago, Bill-Bel tried to escape in a rocket, but his son Mun-Dee (Sniper) accidentally snuck into the rocket during an argument. When the rocket pierced the dome of New Zealand, the place was doomed. They managed to hide in a hidden lab for 40 years, after which the two escaped when the mercs showed up.
Bill-Bel and Lar-Nah provide examples of:
- The Alcoholic: Lar-Nah has spent the past forty years stuck in the lab drunk on wine and making death threats. When she escapes in the last rocket, the rocket is filled with bottles of booze.
- Cassandra Truth: Inverted. Everyone in New Zealand believed Bill-Bel when he predicts the surface of Earth to be buried by magma, but he's really just insane and making wrong predictions.
- Expy: They're clear parodies of Jor-El and Lara Lor-Van, Superman's parents.
- Genius Ditz: It takes a genius to design an underwater country and build rocket ships. And it takes a ditz to have said sinking of their country be completely unnecessary and to waste the most valuable substance on Earth as rocket paint.
- It's All About Me: Bill-Bel built a rocket big enough for one to escape predicted ecological disaster, but he intended to use it for himself and leave his wife and child to die. His wife planned to do the same.
- Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Not only did Bill-Bel doom New Zealand with his escape rocket, he wasted almost all of the remaining Australium in the world to paint failed rockets.
- Screw This, I'm Out of Here!: When Lar-Nah sees Bill still has one Australium rocket left, she steals it and flies into space to be free from the sunken nation. Her takeoff cracks the dome over the last unflooded spot in New Zealand, and Bill steals the mercs' multi-seater submarine all for himself to flee.
- Walking Spoilers: They reveal a lot of secrets about the world of TF2.
- Worthless Yellow Rocks: Double Subverted. Miss Pauling, having tracked the last cache of Australium to New Zealand, asks them to tell her where it is while insisting it's just worthless stones. Bill responds that as a scientist he doesn't fall for that and knows the true value of that mineral... only for us to find out he actually knew nothing about Australium's properties and just used it to paint his rockets.
The Engineer's soft-spoken grandfather, who was contracted to build an immortality machine for Blutarch Mann so he could outlive his brother Redmond. He was later asked by the Administrator's ancestor to create the same machine for Redmond as well. In exchange for this offer, Radigan was given one hundred pounds of Australium, an element that helped Australia become the world's most technologically advanced nation. He may have also built a better functioning version for Gray Mann.
From this amount of Australium, Radigan created a variety of new inventions. However, the Australium's radiation eventually caused Radigan to become Australian; he went from a regular scientist to a muscular, shirtless, mustached scientist with a robotic left hand and chest hair in the shape of Texas.
Radigan Conagher provides examples of:
always look out for us. And we love you for it. But now you must let us look out for ourselves."
Heavy's family, consisting of his mother and three sisters (Zhanna, Yana, and Bronislava). All of them broke out of The Gulag
with Heavy years ago and since then he's sent most of his money to them. As of "Blood in the Water," Zhanna has become Soldier's fianceé.
- Action Girl: Zhanna joins Soldier and Spy in "assaulting" the submarine base in "Blood in the Water." She's actually pretty good at snapping necks, at least.
- Badass Family: When Heavy insisted he stay to protect them from anyone who'd come after them, they explain people already have come and they took care of them. Violently.
- Before that, Yana and Bronislava make their appearance by dragging in a bear they hunted themselves.
- Blunt Metaphors Trauma: Zhanna apparently picked this up from her brother, because when Soldier asks her to kill "with extreme prejudice", she interprets this as "be racist at them".
- Big Beautiful Woman: Zhanna being a Husky Russkie doesn't keep her from being a Sensual Slav; Soldier and (initially) Scout are glad to accept her advances.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: Zhanna picks up her fianceé's "HUTTAH!" cry when snapping necks. They even snap a man's neck together in "Blood In The Water".
- Composite Character: Zhanna combines Heavy's short temper and broken English with elements of Soldier's Dumb Muscle.
- Fangirl: Yana and Bronislava were pretty excited when they heard some of Heavy's former colleagues were paying a visit. Though they thought it was Spy and Sniper...
- Gilded Cage: They've spent the last twenty years hiding in the same cabin in the middle of nowhere. Zhanna was ready to screw the first man she saw, while they were all happy to leave.
- Happily Engaged: Zhanna and Soldier.
- Mother Russia Makes You Strong: Though they're pretty damn tired of eating bear meat.
- Nice Hat: Bronislava wears one.
- Out of Focus: After being introduced in "A Cold Day In Hell", Yana, Bronislava, and Heavy's Mother don't appear at all in the next comic, "Blood In The Water".
- Sex Equals Love: Zhanna's first interaction with Soldier was demanding he make love to her, because it had been years since she had even seen an eligible man. Since then, they've been a tight couple.
- The Sixth Ranger: In "Blood in the Water," Zhanna is tagging along with Miss Pauling and the mercs.
- Spy Catsuit: Zhanna is wearing Natasha Romanoff's Marvel Movieverse costume on the cover of "Blood In The Water". So is Soldier.
- Unnamed Parent: His mother has yet to be named.
Horseless Headless Horsemann
The Horseless Headless Horsemann
The crazed and powerful spirit of Zepheniah's brother Silas Mann. The Horseless Headless Horsemann is the first boss NPC of Team Fortress 2
. He is commonly found haunting Mann Manor.
The Horseless Headless Horsemann provides examples of:
- Alliterative Name: The Horseless Headless Horsemann, and the two items associated with him: the Horseless Headless Horsemann's Head and the Horseless Headless Horsemann's Headtaker.
- An Axe to Grind
- Camera Screw: The camera shakes when he's nearby. As if everything going dark and the music weren't unsettling enough.
- Damage-Sponge Boss: He has at least 3000 HP under his belt, with another 200 added for each player on the server. He also shows up only with a minimum of 10 players are on the server, meaning without cheats he always has at least 5000 HP.
- Servers normally can hold up to 24 people, with some servers being able to hold up to 32 people. This means that the Horsemann can peak at around 7800-9400 HP. For comparison, the highest HP any player can go is 450, which is an overhealed Heavy.
- Drop the Hammer: When Merasmus summons him to attack the bumper car games, he wields the Necro Smasher instead of his usual axe.
- Enemy Mine: Aside from passing off aggro and the more serious players, both teams commonly team up to defeat him when he spawns.
- Headless Horseman: He wears a jack-o-lantern as a head, however.
- Implacable Man
- Large Ham: He doesn't even speak, and he manages to chew scenery with the best of them.
- Lightning Bruiser: He is as fast as a scout's normal speed. Fortunately, he can't jump.
- One-Handed Zweihänder: He starts out with his axe slung over his shoulder using both hands. As his health wears down, he starts swinging it with only one hand.
- One-Hit Kill: Only two things can survive his Headtaker: A Wrangled Sentry, and a Dead Ringer Spy. And in both those cases, only just (and he'll probably swing again).
- Oxymoronic Being
- Palette Swap: Aside from his entrance, exit, and scaring animations, he's a sized up reskin of the Demoman.
- Slasher Smile
Voiced by: Gary Schwartznote
The Demoman's disembodied left eye taken from his body and haunted upon opening a forbidden tome at Merasmus the Magician's castle. After Soldier enrages Merasmus, he unleashes the eye upon the team, setting up the events leading to the 2011 Halloween event.
MONOCULUS! provides examples of:
- Artificial Brilliance: His AI is more complex than the Horsemann, that's for sure. He leads his shots, prioritizes threats, and can juggle combo.
- Berserk Button: Gets really pissed upon taking a critical hit.
- Bold Inflation: His name is officially spelt in all-caps.
- Damage-Sponge Boss: Like the Horsemann, he can take an incredible pounding. Helps that he's resistant to miniguns and flamethrowers.
- Death from Above: His main method of attack is to rain down smaller eyeballs which do the same damage as critical rockets on both teams.
- Enemy Mine: Enforced, even more so than the Horsemann. When he appears, the capture point resets and both teams cannot cap until he is either defeated or leaves the map, so there's no point to killing each other, other than being a jerk.
- Faceless Eye
- Get Back Here Boss: He teleports around a lot and will only stay around for 90 seconds, though this also makes it easier to defeat him because doing so opens up a portal to an area that if you can exit gives players invulnerability, crit-boosts, overheal, and a speed boost. Buffed players also stun him when they damage him.
- Giant Eye Of Doom: This happens a lot around MONOCULUS!.
- Glass Cannon: In comparison to the Horsemann being an immovable damage sponge, MONOCULUS! is easier to push around. He also has a hideously strong damage advantage, shooting eyeballs that kill most classes in a couple of hits.
- Insistent Terminology: It's not "Monoculus", it's "MONOCULUS!". Valve also insist that upon being killed by him, the player must raise their hands toward the ceiling and scream the name at the top of their lungs. It's just the etiquette. And when the police arrive, be sure to explain!
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: See Turns Red below.
- Taking You with Me: Anyone near him when he dies is coated in Jarate. And since he's no longer around, both teams are going to be focusing on each other again pretty quickly...
- Time-Limit Boss: He only hangs around for 90 seconds per appearance, so if you want the achievements for taking him down, make sure to do it quickly and hope the other players want to kill him as well.
- Turns Red: Shooting him with critical hits will make him shoot volleys of faster projectiles that lead their targets flawlessly. He noticeably looks angrier when this happens.
- Thanks to an update, defeating him causes him to become stronger when he next spawns.
Merasmus the Magician
Merasmus the Magician
"Who dares disturb Merasmus the Magician?"
An old magician and an early contractor of the Demoman, partially responsible for the latter's loss of his eye. He was also the Soldier's roommate until the Soldier became intolerable. Eventually, Soldier evicted Merasmus and killed him by accident (if reflexively burning dead bodies can be considered an accident), causing the magician to vow revenge on Soldier's entire team; these events led him being the Scream Fortress 2012 boss. However, his skirmish with the mercs didn't result in his complete death, as by "Ring of Fired", 10 months after the Halloween event (and likely a bit longer in the TF2 canon universe), he's back in his solid body and living with Tom Jones.
Merasmus the Magician provides examples of:
- Apologetic Attacker:
- A Wizard Did It: His existence is as much of a defiance to this trope as a literal example. He actually is (somewhat) responsible for the Demoman losing his eye, unleashing MONOCULUS! upon the mercenaries, and sending them to DeGroot Keep.
- Affably Evil
- Artifact of Doom: Apparently an avid collector of these. Hell, he even tells people to not gaze upon his broom, despite the Demoman actually being forced to do so to do his work (either that or it's a Verbal Tic).
- Artificial Brilliance: Not limited to one attack like the Horsemann and MONOCULUS!, and he knows how and when to use them effectively.
- Black Magic
- Bold Inflation: Like MONOCULUS!, his name in-game is stylized as MERASMUS!
- Butt Monkey: Every time he meets Soldier, something bad happens to him. For example, in Doom-Mates, he returned home from after 3 days to find that Soldier had buried his fridge in the yard and hid sour cream all over the property. Because the sour cream was not kept in the refrigerator, it had all gone bad and attracted every raccoon in the area, which meant his home had to be annexed by the city and turned into a raccoon sanctuary.
- Canis Latinicus: His spell incantations.
Merasmus: Mortus Longdistimus!
- Card-Carrying Villain: We'll let him tell it:
Merasmus: Most villains don't think they're evil. They think they're heroes. Not me! I'm reclaiming it! EVIL WIZARD! I'm rotten to the bone and I don't care who knows it!
- Damage-Sponge Boss: Much much more so than MONOCULUS!.
- Doomy Dooms of Doom: Many of his lines. One of the comics featuring Merasmus is called "Doom-Mates".
"Time to play hide-and-seek... YOUR DOOM!"
"DOOM! All of you are doomed!"
- Double Take: Any time the players get something beneficial from the Wheel of Fate.
- Dude Looks Like a Lady: Played for Laughs. Aside from Soldier, Demoman, Medic, Heavy, Scout, and Mister T-Bone, everyone refers to Merasmus as either "Ma'am" or "witch-woman". Strangely enough, even Miss Pauling makes this mistake.
- Enemy Mine: Invoked the same was as with MONOCULUS!, the control point becomes locked whenever he's around. And he will require the complete cooperation of both teams to bring down.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Merasmus actively apologizes for the "Jarate rain" card in the Wheel of Fate.
- Everything's Better with Spinning: His death animation involves him spinning and flailing wildly in mid-air.
- Evil Is Hammy
- Evil Is Not a Toy
- Evil Laugh: He has several when he appears and when he uses the Bombinomicon.
- Expressive Accessory: The ram skull he has on his head seems to be sentient, unsurprisingly. Being a skull, however, it just stares at things.
- Flight: Even when he's supposedly on the ground, he isn't going to fall down that deep pit if you manage to get him in there.
- For Massive Damage: You'll be lucky to get him down to half HP before he leaves if you don't invoke this yourself.
- Ramming into him while transformed into an Action Bomb by the Bombinomicon stuns Merasmus. While stunned, everything that hits him is a crit.
- He's also fully crit-vulnerable while raining bombs on the control point, though approaching him while he's doing this is obviously a very bad idea.
- Other than dropped crit-pumpkins or Kritzkrieg-boosted players, only Snipers using the Huntsman are able to do constant crit-damage with headshots. Notably, Merasmus is the only boss vulnerable to this. This is the reason people agree that a Huntsman Sniper-rush is the best way to tackle Merasmus: he takes a thousand or so damage per every headshot/stun-crit with a fully-drawn arrow.
- Sentries are a good way to rack up damage as always. Just make sure you use the Wrangler with it and sit in a place where you're less likely to be killed, otherwise you will get a LOT of flak from the other players. Don't be afraid to give the other team permission to destroy your Sentry should you somehow die anyway and leave it to its own devices.
- Get Back Here Boss: Like MONOCULUS!, he can teleport around the map. In Merasmus' case, it happens after recovering from stun and when using the aforementioned Prop Hunt trick.
- Inept Mage: Downplayed. He's a competent wizard, but not a stellar one, and his design of the Wheel of Fate is dubious at best.
- Less and less downplayed as time went on. In "Blood Money" he was unable to escape the Yakuza, and after the events of "Ring of Fired" he was detained by ordinary police and currently being held in an ordinary penitentiary.
- I Shall Taunt You: He'll taunt you mercilessly while hiding.
- Kill It with Fire: His most common attack during his boss fight, he casts a spell that not only sends everyone around him flying, but lights them on fire.
- One of the Wheel of Fate cards can spontaneously immolate everyone on the map!
- Large Ham: That sounds almost like Vincent Price.
- Mad Bomber: Thanks to the Bombinomicon's magic, he has as many bombs as he wants. He uses this to devastating effect in the boss fight, having the book spew bombs all over and around the control point; it's very common to see several players die to this at once.
- He can also randomly roll a bomb at you while in his regular attack phase. It's rarer and much easier to avoid, but he may surprise you with it.
- Magic Misfire: Some of the Wheel of Fate consequences he's trying to curse the players with are actually entirely beneficial.
Magic! It is not... an exact science.
- Magic Staff: His weapon of choice when not using the Bombinomicon, both for spellcasting and simple bludgeoning.
- Meaningful Name: His name resembles "marasmus", meaning severe emanciation due to starving, and he is indeed quite skinny.
- Monster Roommate: To the Soldier of all people, for a while. (Though, given the Soldier's personality, it's not clear which one is more monstrous.)
- And as of the official comics, he's somehow managed to end up roommate with Tom Jones. The Soldier makes quick work of him.
- Off with His Head!: A killing blow achieved with a staff whack will decapitate the victim.
- Palette Swap: He's a sized-up reskin of the Sniper (though he has the Heavy's animations if the dance card is selected).
- Irony: The Sniper is the best class to use against him, particularly if he has the Huntsman.
- Playing with Fire: One of his favorite afflictions to give to the combatants.
"Fire! You're all on fire!
- Punched Across the Room: He's no Horsemann in terms of damage, but one swing from his staff can send you pretty far.
- Running Gag: Being mistaken for a woman.
- When Merasmus casts the dance curse, he gives a shout out to Thriller, which is fitting since his voice is modelled after Vincent Price.
- His lines, "It is the crit-boostening!", "The hide-ening!", "Plague of head biggening!", and "It is the bloodening!" are references to the Quickening from Highlander.
- "Everything is coming up Merasmus!" is a references to "Everything's Coming Up Roses" from Gypsy: A Musical Fable.
- Sickly Green Glow: His magic.
- Tactical Suicide Boss: Adding Über Charges (and other beneficial effects) to the Wheel of Fate doesn't seem like such a good idea in hindsight.
- Subverted during the actual fight however, as this form of Über Charge immediately fizzles out if he spawns during it. The Wheel of Fate Crits aren't subject to this, though their effect at the start of the fight is negligible.
- He also insists on bombing everything with a spellbook that hates him, and will blow him up whenever it can.
- Tarot Motifs: He has a custom-made deck of tarot cards for use on the Lakeside event map. A random one is chosen every time the control point changes teams, each with a different effect including Gravity Screws, Super Speed, all players suddenly dancing on the control point, the aforementioned Jarate rain, and so on.
- Tattooed Crook: As seen in Grave Matters.
- Teleport Spam: Will do this whenever recovering from stun or going to hide.
- The Battle Didn't Count: One of his death quotes is him groaning that you won, then he'll quickly say it was a tie.
- Actually played straight since he does indeed come back, possibly even in the same round.
- As it turns out, he's right; he's back in solid form as of "Ring of Fired" and is celebrity Tom Jones' roommate.
- Third-Person Person
- Time Abyss:
I was born before time, dark larvae from the putrid womb of the ancient ones
- Later Subverted; he's only 6,000 years old.
- Timed Mission: Like MONOCULUS!, he only sticks around for 90 seconds.
- Total Party Kill: His penchant for area-of-effect attacks can cause this if the players are particularly unlucky.
- As a sidenote, it's possible to have this done to the entire enemy team during regular gameplay if you're an Engineer; just build a Sentry near the point and wait for Merasmus to pick the Dance Party card from the Wheel of Fate. Anything that isn't the same color as the Sentry will be immediately gunned down while stuck in their dance poses. Even a Mini Sentry can accomplish this before the dance ends.
- Trrrilling Rrrs: He trills the "r" in his name a lot in the 2014 Halloween event.
- Two-Faced Aside: He has a few lines, mostly to the Soldier.
"Merasmus arrives on a tide of blood! Oh, hello Soldier."
- Unexplained Recovery: In "Ring of Fired", about 10 months after we last heard from him, we see he got his physical body back somehow and became Tom Jones' roommate.
- Verbal Tic: If you mention one of his possessions, he'll reflexively tell you to GAZE NOT UPON IT!!
- Virgin Power/Blood Magic: The comic "Blood Money" reveals that Merasmus is a 6,000 year old virgin, and uses his own blood for sacrifices.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: With the Soldier, possibly. A few of his punchlines indicate that he might not hate the Soldier quite so much as he claims.
- Doesn't stop Merasmus from raging at him when he dies though.
Merasmus: I die! Soldier! You were the wooorst rooommaaate!
- Voluntary Shapeshifter: The reason one of his two Get Back Here Boss tactics is such a pain.
- With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: He sounds notably more unhinged when he pulls out the Bombinomicon for the bomb rain attack.
Merasmus: MAGIC, EVERYONE! MAGIC!
- You Fool!
- Yubitsume: In the comic "Blood Money," Merasmus' right pinky finger is noticeably shorter and bandaged up, after racking up a debt of $12,000 to the Yakuza. It's implied he did this to show them his respect.
"Hey, buddy! You look like you could use a bomb for a head. Pow, zoop! Off I go."
An ancient tome of explosive magic, a haphazard wild card, and Merasmus' other roommate. Although he remains mostly at the call of Merasmus, he has no qualms about antagonizing him, given the chance.
The Bombinomicon provides examples of:
- Action Bomb: See Why Am I Ticking? below.
- Affably Evil: He's so friendly that you just can't help but like him, despite working for Merasmus in his first appearance, and being the Devil in his second.
- The Casanova: Claims to know how to attract the ladies and briefly mentions seeing a cookbook.
- Catch Phrase: Several:
- "Hey, buddy!"
- "Pow, zoop!"
- "It's good stuff."
- The Dog Bites Back: Apparently he doesn't like his owner. He'll choose two players to turn into bombs and instruct them to run at Merasmus.
Merasmus: AH! Who told you to do that!?
- Face of a Thug/Vocal Dissonance: This scary old tome with red eyes and sharp, bloodstained teeth is a trickster and sounds like a fast-talking Italian dealer.
- Flight: The Bombinomicon appears to be able to levitate if there's a player underneath him with a bomb head.
- Friendly Enemy: Despite (mostly) serving Merasmus, he's quite friendly to the players, and when you make it to hell in the 2013 event, he's genuinely glad to see you.
- Lovable Traitor
- Manipulative Bastard: He is able to convince the young Demoman to read his pages.
- Motor Mouth
- Portmanteau: "Bomb" and "Necronomicon".
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: Though he seems pretty amicable. See Face of a Thug, above.
- Reliable Traitor: He dislikes Merasmus and will help you from time to time by giving you a bomb head.
Bombinomicon: I hate that wizard! You should go blow him up.
- Satan: Apparently he got put as the Devil while we weren't looking. He's amicable, at the very least.
Hey it's me, the Bombinomicon! Bad news, you're in hell. Good news, I'm the devil!
- Saying Sound Effects Out Loud: Pow, zoop!
- Sickly Green Glow: His bombs glow green, and when he's hovering above a bomb-headed player, the space between him and the bomb is green.
- Throw Down the Bomblet: As long as it involves bombs, he'll be happy to attack anyone.
- Tome of Eldritch Lore: One that contains "over 400 pages of spells, enchantments, recipes and anecdotes about blowing things up", and two of those spells see use when Merasmus uses the Bombinomicon to rain bombs on the mercenaries and when the Bombinomicon turns a player's head into a bomb.
- The Trickster
- Verbal Tic: Hey buddy! Pow, zoop!
- Wild Card: He will happily tell you to run at Merasmus when you have a bomb head, yet he'll just as gleefully turn the control point into a blasting zone at Merasmus' command.
- Why Am I Ticking?: The Bombinomicon can turn you, specifically your head, into a bomb. This forces you into the humiliation pose (though with a speed boost) in which you can only run around helpless. The goal is to run into Merasmus with it; a successful hit will not only stun him, but also give you temporary Crits and Uber so you don't get hurt from the explosion. Failure to hit him means... well, you get hurt from it, which will take a huge chunk out of your HP if not outright kill you.
Bombinomicon: Giving you a bomb head. Run at the wizard!
- Stop Helping Me!: Sometimes you'll have the misfortune of getting a bomb head right before Merasmus decides to play Prop Hunt. All you can do in this case is hope that another player reveals him fast enough, because running into props with the bomb head does nothing, even if it is the one Merasmus is hiding as. This has since been patched; running into a prop with a bomb head destroys the prop and removes the bomb, but doesn't grant you the UberKritzSpeed boost.
The Gray Team (Gray's Army)
An army of robots created by Gray Mann to reclaim the Mann Co. empire in the name of the Mann family. Each unit is made in the image of one of the mercenaries, some using default weapons, some using specialized loadouts, others still having a completely new bag of tricks. Strangely enough, they run on money
The Gray Team provide examples of:
The Skeleton Army
An army of Skeletons collectively act as the closest thing to the boss of the fifth Scream Fortress event. After the Mann Brothers' mining operations disturbed an Indian Burial Ground
, the vengeful spirits may rise from their graves to assault the players, sometimes led by a giant Skeleton King. In addition, they can also be employed by a player who obtained the spell to summon them.
- Asteroids Monster: Kill a regular skeleton, and he drops four skulls that each grow into mini-skeletons.
- Color-Coded for Your Convenience: Denotes which team they'll chase after, with green skeletons attacking both teams.
- Dem Bones: The entire lot of them.
- The Dreaded: The Mann brothers will express fright when the Skeleton King arrives:
Redmond: The Skeleton King! Oh... gravelpits, you are in for it now!
Blutarch: Run! It's the Skeleton King!"
- Indian Burial Ground: Lampshaded by Redmond in Grave Matters.
Redmond: Why would anyone dig through an Indian burial ground to reach Hell? Just dig somewhere else!
- King Mook: The Skeleton King acts as their leader, for the most part.
- Mighty Glacier: The Skeleton King has a disproportionately large pool of health compared to his smaller minions, and does a good bit of damage, but almost every class can outrun him.
- Mini Mook: Small, big-headed skeletons sometimes appear alongside their normal counterparts; see Asteroids Monster above.
- Zerg Rush: They're understandably more brittle than Gray's robot army, so sheer number is their only real advantage.
Mayor Mike is a minor character from the comics. He's the mayor of Teufort, but surprisingly he knows very little about what Mayors are allowed to do, resulting in him legally screwing things up for a lot of people.
He's also quite Dangerously Genre Savvy
, almost getting half the Mercs executed until Miss Pauling comes to the rescue.