Main Characters | Alternate Universes (Teen Girl Squad, 20X6) | Other Characters
A character sheet for the Homestar Runner spinoff sub-series Teen Girl Squad.
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The Teen Girl Squad
As A Whole
"Let's get ready to look..." "SO GOOD!"
The titular squad of teen girls who spend most of their time looking "so good" and trying to win the hearts of most of the boys they come across.- All Women Are Lustful: The girls spend most of their time trying to win the hearts of most of the boys they come across, with varying levels of success.
- Chew Toy: The girls are frequent targets of every sort of disaster, from being riddled by arrows to being vaporized by a laser to being attacked by possums.
- Childhood Friends: "Teeny Tiny Girl Squad" shows them as friends in pre-kindergarten.
- Death Is Cheap: The deaths the teen girls suffer, no matter how gruesome, never stick.
- Four-Temperament Ensemble:
- Cheerleader: The choleric. She's loud and abrasive, and constantly puts her friends down.
- So and So: The phlegmatic. The most academically invested of the girls and tends not to speak up.
- What's Her Face: The melancholic. Always finds herself in inopportune situations and can never get her way.
- The Ugly One: The sanguine. She's extremely loony compared to the other girls and never seems to comprehend reality.
- Too Dumb to Live: Quite a few of their deaths are entirely their own fault. One of the more graphic cases is So-and-So jumping into a garbage disposal upon hearing the police at the door.
- Unexplained Recovery: No matter the injuries, the girls somehow always recover for the next issue or sometimes even within the same issue.
- Vague Age: The exact age of the teen girls is left unclear, to the point that at Strong Bad sings "Teen Girl Squad! They're-teenage-girls-between-the-ages-of-thirteen-and-nineteen!" What's Her Face is old enough to have had her driver's license for a year, implying she's at least seventeen, and Cheerleader and So-and-So are implied to be eighth graders in one short, putting them between thirteen and fourteen, but given the Negative Continuity in play, this isn't worth much.
Cheerleader
"You don't speak unless spoken to!"
The de-facto leader of the Teen Girl Squad, given her shrill and domineering demeanor.- Abhorrent Admirer: Quarterman seems to see her as one, according to Issue 4.Cheerleader: So, Quarterman, how's about you and me?
Quarterman: How's about you get some brains? - All Girls Like Ponies: In the Decemberween Special, the text on Cheerleader's intro card is "wants a pony".
- All Guys Want Cheerleaders: Subverted. She believes this trope is true, but of the group, Cheerleader actually gets the least amount of attention from boys over the course of the series.
- All Women Are Lustful: She's always looking to hook up with boys. Even her title card in one episode says that she's boy crazy. She even tells Cheerleader Brian to "feel free to get slightly less appropriate with [his] hands"!
- Alpha Bitch: She berates the other girls constantly. In fact, when Crazy Learner's Permit Girl runs her over, the other girls celebrate that they can now act like themselves.
- Asshole Victim: Cheerleader can qualify, given her general attitude.
- Cruel Cheerleader: Cheerleader constantly berates the other girls, once smacking a girl following her for speaking when she is not being spoken to.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": She's the only one that's actually referred to by any sort of job-related title, though, as Cheerleader herself references, it's meant to suggest the type of person she is rather than a literal member of a cheer team.
- Formerly Fat: "Teeny Tiny Girl Squad" shows that Cheerleader used to be overweight when she was younger.
- Fun T-Shirt: Every episode has a different phrase on her dress which is often a pun.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Cheerleader mistreats her friends and sees herself thusly challenged by What's Her Face and So and So, and the three other girls are perfectly happy without her as seen in Issue 9, where they celebrate and feel set free when Cheerleader was the one to get killed off first.
- Genre Blind: She admits that she is unfamiliar with Greek mythology. This ultimately becomes her undoing when Medusa takes a picture of her.
- Girlish Pigtails: Her hairstyle. This makes her look innocent, though she is far from that.
- Hidden Depths: She's an apparent death metal fan, specifically Brainkrieg, much to the surprise of What's Her Face.
- Incompatible Orientation: While it's never explicitly stated that Cheerleader Brian is gay, the other girls react incredulously to the fact that she picks him as her prom date and liken it to "going to prom with your dad." During the prom itself, her attempts at flirtation with him fall on deaf ears, and he mostly just thinks she's trying to pull of cheerleading tricks with him.
- The Leader: She's the de facto head of the girls, ordering them about and coming up with all the plans. The other girls seem to not have any ideas in the first place.
- Non-Indicative Name: Probably. In 4 Gregs, she's stated not to be an actual cheerleader. In the fifteenth issue, Cheerleader Brian lifts her up, but she yells at him to put her down because she's "off duty". Also, she will perform a cheer for the basketball team when given a megaphone in Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People. This implies that Cheerleader became a cheerleader primarily because she believes All Guys Want Cheerleaders.Sci-Fi Greg: Uh, Cheerleader, shouldn't you be out, uh, leading cheers?
Cheerleader: No, I'm more a cheerleader in the way I dress and in the way I treat other girls. - Tender Tomboyishness, Foul Femininity: The most aggressively "girly" of the Teen Girls, and the cruelest and least sympathetic. Contrasted with What's-Her-Face, the most tomboyish, who is also one of the nicest.
- Youthful Freckles: She has them in "Teeny Tiny Girl Squad" as a pre-kindergartner. Apparently she lost them when she grew up.
So and So
"You'll find me in the reference section!"
The smartest of the girls, at least academically speaking.- All Girls Want Bad Boys: So and So has shown an attraction to Tompkins, considering him a "renegade", though he's more or less your typical high school slacker.
- Bearded Lady: When she goes to prison, she grows Perma-Stubble.
- Book Smart: Despite her lack of common sense, she's very good at schoolwork. In an Easter egg for Issue 9, she does Tompkins' pre-algebra homework for him and it gets an A+++++.
- Dumb Blonde: Played with. In the tenth issue, she is revealed to be a blonde and she happens to be the smartest of the girls, in book smarts at least. Her lack of common sense, however, tends to cancel out her book smarts.
- Ditzy Genius: She's very bookish, but totally lacks common sense. At one point, she dives into a garbage disposal to get away from the cops.
- Early-Installment Weirdness: Issue 1 was the only one to assign the names of the girls who inspired the comic to any of their resultant characters, with So and So being labeled as Kristen from the sbemail senders. In the very next frame, What's Her Face has already begun to misremember her name as "Kristina", and from that point on, only Strong Bad's names are used.
- Education Mama: It's implied that her overachieving is at least partially driven by her overbearing stepmother.
- Extracurricular Enthusiast: So and So explains that the "Priggidy Prizom" is the name of this year's prom, and adds, with a deranged look, "I was on every committee ever." This fits with her general overachiever mindset.
- Go-Getter Girl: In Issue 8, Cheerleader's death makes her feel free to "overachieve like a bandit", which in her case, means acting as a literal bandit to do other people's homework without their knowledge. She also had heavy involvement in setting up the Priggidy Prizom dance.
- Grammar Nazi: She's very annoyed with the other girls referring to Valentine's Day as "Valentimes". Like everything else in this strip, it gets her killed.
- Imaginary Friend: She has an imaginary boyfriend named Brett Bretterson. What's Her Face is weirded out by her interaction with him.
- Never Going Back to Prison: In Issue 12, she throws herself into the garbage disposal when the cops show up.So and So: Ahh! The popo! I CAN'T DO ANOTHER NICKEL!
- Wicked Stepmother: Her stepmother, who scolds the girls for questioning her fashion sense and has So and So take a job at Shirt Folding Store over the summer instead of going to summer camp with the other girls. Cheerleader even says she's "teh fascist" in response.
What's Her Face
"I think I have a chance with this guy."
The "pity friend". She is the most sensible of the teen girls and the most willing to challenge Cheerleader, but she often gets the brunt of the mistreatment.- Character Catchphrase: "I think I have a chance with this guy." Often used whenever Thomas the alien shows up.
- Closet Geek: It appears that she is one, but her geeky side is rarely shown, at least when Cheerleader is around. Her love interests are sci-fi themed, and a promo video for Trogdor!! The Board Game shows that she's apparently the only girl willing to hang out with the Gregs.
- Deadpan Snarker: She's the one who makes the snarkiest observations about her friends' activities. She was apparently voted Least Likely To Care in high school based on one of her intro-panel blurbs.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: What's Her Face is explicitly called the "pity friend" and is the one the other three are most likely to ditch or relegate to least-desired roles. That said, when Cheerleader dies early in Issue 9, she seems to be on better terms with the other two.
- Geeky Turn-On: All her love interests are science-fiction themed. She spends time with Thomas the alien, is Sci-Fi Greg's girlfriend, and once went on a date with the Wireless Wizard.
- He Is Not My Boyfriend: After Cheerleader's death in Issue 9, What’s Her Face expresses joy over how she can date Sci-Fi Greg again. However, in "4 Gregs", What's Her Face laughs at the Gregs for getting wedgies from the football players and denies that she would come to Sci-Fi Greg's defense. Then again, considering that Cheerleader, who is keeping What's Her Face and Sci-Fi Greg apart, is drawing the picture, it is possible that What's Her Face deliberately invoked the trope to cover her true feelings.What’s Her Face: [laughing] Those Gregs are such losers!
[cut to the Gregs drawing the girls]
Sci-Fi Greg: Hey! No way! What’s Her Face would totally come to my defense!
[cut back to the girls drawing the Gregs]
What’s Her Face: Eww! Don't put that! No I wouldn't! - Limited Wardrobe: When the girls go to the beach, her intro card is "Same clothes". Of course, she isn't actually invited to the beach.
- Nobody Loves the Bassist: When the girls form a group called "Kissyboots", she asks if she can't get stuck playing bass. Of course, Cheerleader shoots this down and makes her play the bass, which turns into a shark and eats her.
- Not So Above It All: She's still as susceptible to the strip's weird goings-on and poor impulses as the rest of the girls. She eats a bowl of staple sauce at one point.
- Official Couple: With Sci-Fi Greg. They used to date until Cheerleader demanded that the couple break up. They would have gone to the Priggidy Prizom together had What's Her Face not been sparrow'd beforehand.
- Only Sane Man: She's more grounded than the rest of the girls, though this doesn't make her less susceptible to hilariously violent deaths.
- Relationship Revolving Door: She and Sci-Fi Greg are a couple, but Cheerleader keeps the two apart.
- Tender Tomboyishness, Foul Femininity: She's the most tomboyish of the girls, and also generally the nicest. Contrasted with the more explicitly girly Cheerleader, who's also the meanest.
- Tomboy: She's so tomboyish that she doesn't even know what a dress is.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: In episode 15, the Arrow'd Guy tells What's Her Face that she would not be going to the junior prom, because she will succeed in college... and then he riddles her with sparrows.
The Ugly One
"I have a crush on every boy!"
The ugly friend of the squad. She also has a questionable grasp of reality.- All Women Are Lustful: She states that she has a crush on every boy.
- Ambiguous Gender: At least for "Teeny Tiny Girl Squad" only. Her intro card for that comic asks if she's a boy or a girl.
- Bizarre Taste in Food: In Episode 10, she walks up to the girls' lunch table carrying a tray piled high with corn kernels (and nothing else), declaring that it's "Corn and Corn Alone Day!"
- Cloudcuckoolander: Her grip on reality is tenuous at best. Her intro cards are full of non-sequiturs and when she visits the beach, her bathing suit is a three-piece. She also prefers to get paid in plain yogurt cups for babysitting.
- Curly Hair Is Ugly: One of the three distinct visual traits that could explain her moniker is hair consisting of a single spiral around her head.
- Food as Bribe: She accepts plain yogurt as payment for a babysitting job.
- Gonky Femme: She's called "The Ugly One," and the Teeny Tiny Girl Squad episode implies she's kind of boyish-looking. She still likes fashion and indulging her girly hobbies.
- The Pig-Pen: Her personal hygiene is suspect. When Cheerleader gets run over, she gleefully states that she can stop showering.
- Refugee from TV Land: When Strong Bad's computer gets hit with a virus, she shows up and attacks the King Of Town.
- She Cleans Up Nicely: At her Sweet Someteenth birthday party, she comes out dolled up to the point where Strong Bad has to do a double-take, even retracting his "Arrowed 2: Electric Boogaloo" death he had planned for her.Strong Bad: Whoa! Did I draw that new hotness??
- Snacksploitation: Giving her a candy bar in the third scene of the Teen Girl Squad comic in SBCG4AP will lead her to say that she managed to sneak it past concession stand security. The robotic penguin immediately GuesswhatVOIPs her.
- Spell My Name with a "The": Since her father's name is actually Manolios Ugly One, it's very possible that her first name is actually "The". This isn't out of place in the Homestar Runner 'verse, as The Cheat, The Paper, The Stick, and even Homestar in his earliest appearances are also referred to as such.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: In the Yearbook issue, after getting voted "Prettiest" by a cruel senior prank, a Lovable Jock football player falls in love with her and she gets a teen-movie ending.
- Unexplained Recovery: After she gets MSG'd in Issue 3, she appears in the dressing room with Cheerleader and So and So. She states that her stomach feels better to address this.
Other Characters
Arrow'd Guy
"Arrow'd!"
A man who randomly shows up to kill the teen girls.- Bait-and-Switch Comment: He does this to What's Her Face. He tells her that she will not go to the junior prom, but rather become successful in college. And then, he kills her with sparrows.
- Comedic Sociopathy: He's responsible for many of the more hilarious and unusual deaths of the girls.
- Creepy Crossdresser: He may or may not also be So And So's stepmother, according to the wiki
. - I'm a Humanitarian: Episode 7 ends with him about to swallow the girls as they fall from the sky.
- Pet the Dog: Was going to marry the Ugly One in Issue 10 (assuming that he was not going to arrow her afterwards) before Strong Bad intervened.
- Universal Driver's License: He's seen driving a van, a boat, and a brain mech, all of which result in the deaths of some of the girls.
- Why Do You Keep Changing Jobs?: He's been a truck driver, owner of a Pan-Asian Cuisine stand, brain mech pilot, ship captain, two judges (at the same time), a play critic, and a witch doctor.
- Wicked Stepmother: If he is indeed Judith So-And-So-Erson, given that he kills the girls constantly.
Thomas
*Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat! Bat!*
A short alien from foreign lands.- Crazy Jealous Guy: It appears he has feelings for What's Her Face. The second What's Her Face starts thinking that she has a chance with the No "I" in Team Boy, Thomas shows up and immediately starts batting her legs.
- The Greys: Thomas seems to be one of them.
- Implausible Boarding Skills: He pulled off a late 360 shove it to boneless.
Tompkins
"Don't let Timkims play my PS One!"
A boy who spends most of his time playing video games.- Character Catchphrase: "Aw, peas!"
- The Napoleon: In his first appearance, his height is an issue for him. He gets angry at the girls for mocking him over it. When Tompkins says, "Heck, I'm taller than you," the girls promptly shout that he said a bad word. He immediately runs away and dies... somehow.Tompkins: Listen up, you undapants! Who wants to get... Hogtied. And pushed down. Into. Some snakewater?
The Ugly One: Tompkins, how do you be so short?
Tompkins: Heck, I'm taller than you.
Teeny Tiny Girl Squad: TOMPKINS MADE A SWEAR!!!
Tompkins: (runs away crying) Waaaahh!
Narrator Strong Bad: (as if unsure on how to kill Tompkins off) AGGH—! GRAGH—! And... he died somehow. - Hidden Depths: So and So clearly has a crush on him. In the tenth issue, she attempts to hook up with him, but Tompkins turns her down as he is too busy playing a Mario game. In the fifteenth issue, he jealously says that without the Gregs, he would have been killed as one of the girls' prom dates. This implies that he was at least somewhat receptive to So and So's advances.
- Out of Focus: After being prominently featured in the seventh issue, he made appearances of varying importance up to the tenth, but vanished for 11, 12, and 14. In the fifteenth issue, he actively grumbles in an Easter egg about how the presence of the Gregs made his role as a male foil to the Teen Girl Squad redundant.
- Promotion to Opening Titles: Inverted. His first appearance is in the opening titles of "Teeny Tiny Girl Squad", but he doesn't get on them in subsequent appearances.
- The Slacker: He doesn't care much for anything but video games.
The Gregs
"Four Gregs! Not one, not two, not three, not five! Four Gregs!"
A quartet of geeks all named Greg.- Busman's Vocabulary: A lot of their jargon is drawn from their respective areas of interest.
- The Cracker: Open Source Greg is a minor case, where he attempts to hack a concession stand (somehow), but ends up firing a DDOS attack on Tompkins' website.
- Even Nerds Have Standards: When D n' D Greg exhibits knowledge of the rules of football, the others are disgusted. He defends himself by saying that Fantasy Football is still fantasy.
- Eyes Always Shut: Japanese Culture Greg, except when he's yelling Japanese words.
- Geek: Each of them covers a different facet of geek and nerd culture.
- Geek Physiques: Sci-Fi Greg and D n' D Greg have regular physiques, but Open Source Greg is fat while Japanese Culture Greg is tall and lanky.
- Gutted Like Sheep: The fate of D n' D Greg for taking The Ugly One as a prom date.
- Gratuitous Japanese: Japanese Culture Greg either just replaces random nouns with their Japanese translation or just randomly shouts them out of nowhere."Akihabara!"
- He Cleans Up Nicely: D n' D Greg looks really good in a tuxedo.
- Identically Named Group: They are a quartet composed of nerdy guys named Greg and are referred to as "the 4 Gregs". There's apparently a fifth, non-nerdy "Regular Greg" who works as the school mascot, but he isn't in their clique.
- I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Sci-Fi Greg takes losing What's Her Face to the Wireless Wizard well, seeing him as a worthy adversary.
- Occidental Otaku: Japanese Culture Greg, as his name implies, is very into Japanese culture despite not being Japanese himself.
- Official Couple: Sci-Fi Greg with What's Her Face. Apparently, Cheerleader forced the two to break up.
- Robosexual:
- Apparently, Japanese Culture Greg is this, as he at least attempts to date Chizuko, but it ends disastrously for him.
- Defied with Sci-Fi Greg, at least based on his reaction to Chizuko. He states that one would expect him, a sci-fi geek, to be this trope. However, Chizuko is so far into the uncanny valley that she makes him sick to his stomach. Besides, he is What's Her Face's boyfriend.
- Relationship Revolving Door: Sci-Fi Greg and What's Her Face want to be together, but are apparently kept apart by Cheerleader.
- Spear Counterpart: A group of four guys to contrast with the main group of four girls.
- Suddenly Shouting: Japanese Culture Greg tends to shout random Japanese words suddenly.
- Those Two Guys: Of the four Gregs, Sci-Fi Greg and D n' D Greg tend to appear together. First, D n' D Greg and Sci-Fi Greg argue over whether they should introduce Cheerleader and The Ugly One to Cosplayover Camp as a village or a star system. Second, the duo looks at the Wireless Wizard flying away with What's Her Face and comment that she is in the hands of a worthy adversary.
- Wedgie: The Gregs are victims of this when the football players surround them during half-time.
- Worthy Opponent: Sci-Fi Greg and D n' D Greg consider the Wireless Wizard one after he manages to take What's Her Face on a date.
Mr. Pitters
"I left a check for last month's rent on the table!"
An old man who hangs around with the teen girl squad. He seems preoccupied with ointment.- Creepy Crossdresser: The second Cheerleader dies, he dresses up as a teen girl.
- Stuffed into a Locker: Of his own volition, apparently. What's Her Face rents her locker out for him throughout the school year.
Manolios Ugly One
So okay, guys. Come down and be shopping at Manolios Ugly One's Lectro-pawn!
The father of The Ugly One. He owns a pawn shop that sells used and broken electronics and is an incredibly overprotective father.- Boyfriend-Blocking Dad: He threatens to gut any guy, regardless of his traits, like a sheep. He then makes an example of D n' D Greg for taking his daughter as a prom date.
- Honest John's Dealership: He owns a store that sells "Used and Broken Electronics". While intimidating DnD Greg during the Junior Prom he offers to sell him half a boom-box.
Brainkrieg
"Jugga jigga wugga!"
A metal band. They competed in the "Battle of the Crappy High School Bands" contest.- Character Catchphrase: "Jugga jigga wugga!"
- Egging: What the band did as revenge for not getting candy.
- Write What You Know: In-universe, the band wrote "Decomposing Pumpkins" because their drummer's mother did not give them candy. They egged her and threw a decomposing pumpkin at the drummer.
Mrs. Commanderson
"Mrs. Commanderson, she's some kind of bird-reptile, and she teaches Pre-K!" "EERRAAAK!"
An Archaeopteryx. She is the girls' Pre-K teacher.- The Cameo: She makes a cameo in an episode of Cheat Commandos.
- Talking Animal: Apparently, Mrs. Commanderson could talk, as shown when she introduces Thomas to her students.
Coach and Olympic Man
Quite the duo.
Two men who are into athletics.- The Big Guy: The Olympic Man, what with his massive muscles.
- Nervous Wreck: The Coach. He gives the girls A's even though they refused to do his final exam of doing a single push-up.
- The Voiceless: The Olympic Man never says anything.
Peacey P
"Y'all biscuitheads."
A popular rapper. The Ugly One is a fan of his.- Ambiguous Situation: Although he first appeared in a TGS comic, he somehow has appeared outside the comic collaborating with Coach Z and others.
- Punny Name: Peacey P's name follows an old rap tradition of sliding drug references into one's name that goes back to Eddie Cheeba and Curtis Blow: Peacey P is pronounced exactly like PCP.
Quarterman
"How's about you get some brains?"
The quarterback for the Fighting Growlbacks.- Character Tics: He has a lolling tongue.
- Deadpan Snarker: He turns down Cheerleader's advances with a quip.
- Official Couple: With The Ugly One. He dumps some trash cans on a trio of seniors bullying her. He then confesses that he is in love with her.
Shirt Folding Store Manager
"HERE'S YOUR NAMETAG, MARK! NOW GET TO MINIMUM WAGIN'!"
The manager of the Shirt Folding Store where So-and-So works.- Asshole Victim: An astronaut punches her in the face. Considering how she killed his dog and treated So-and-So like garbage, it's hard to feel sorry for her.
- Bad People Abuse Animals: On top of her being mean to So-and-So, she previously killed a dog.
- Malicious Misnaming: She calls So-and-So "Mark", even putting it on her nametag.
- Mean Boss: Yells at So-and-So to clean up vomit in a changing room and calls her "Mark".
- Uncertain Doom: It's not clear if she died from the astronaut punching her since we never see her again.
Video Game Characters
Moby-Dick
A whale from Herman Melville's novel of the same name.- Monster Whale: One of the most famous and happy to demonstrate this.
- Like Is, Like, a Comma: "I guess I, like, represent symbolism and stuff?"
- Rule of Symbolism: Lampshaded. Moby-Dick says that he supposes he represents symbolism and stuff.
Gangsters
Two mobsters. They rig What's Her Face's car to explode.- The Mafia: Very likely.
- Those Two Guys: The only other really defining thing about them.
- Vehicular Sabotage: Invoked at the request of Mr. Pagliogaglioleri.
Basketballa
A young basketball player that the girls try to attract.- Deadly Gas: A combination of his armpit stench and perfume results in mustard gas... somehow.
- The Pig-Pen: His coach says he should spend more time in the showers, given his bad odor.
- Visible Odor: The stench coming out of his armpits.
Medusa
A gorgon from Classical Mythology. She works in the school as a yearbook photographer.- Medusa: Duh!
- Schmuck Bait: Apparently, she became a photographer so she could turn her victims to stone more easily.
- Taken for Granite: As per usual, those who look into her eyes are turned to stone.
Robotic Penguin
A robotic penguin.- Attack Hello: The very first second he appears, he GuesswhatVOIPs The Ugly One.
- Disproportionate Retribution: He vaporizes The Ugly One for sneaking a candy bar past the concession stand security.
- Eye Beams: He kills The Ugly One this way.
- Hypocritical Humor: He kills The Ugly One for her Snacksploitation, but he eats the candy bar himself. It is what kills him.
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: A robotic penguin security guard.
