Being one of the longest-running and most prolific YTPers on the site, DaThings has no shortage of hilarious moments, nor any shortage of molarious himents.
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Pop Music YTP
- The 70s Were The Seventies
- The Bee Gees
- "Well you can tell by the way I use my walk I'm a woman."
- "No time to talk since I was born."
- "You may lool."
- "We can try to understand the New York man."
- "Whether you're a brother or whether you're a mother you're stayin' a brother, stayin' a mother."
- "Feel the city breakin' and everybody shakin' and we're shakin' everybody."
- "Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! States!"
- "Well now, I get high and when I get high then if I can't get high, I really try."
- "Sus goin' nowhere, somebody help me yey."
- Black Bath
- "Finished with my Finnish woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mom."
- "People think I'm insane because I am insane."
- "All day long I think of things. All day long I think of nothing. All day long I think of brownies."
- "Oh yeaey. Aha. I need sos."
- "Make a joke and I will laugh and you will cry and I will laugh and you will make sos.
- Eagles
- "On a dark desert highway, yay, Cool Whip in my hair."
- "I saw a shimmering sos."
- "I hit the dam and my sight went heavy."
- "I had to stop for the stop sign, and I was thinking to myself, "this could be hell."
- "Welcome California hot! Such a lol!"
- "Any time of year, you can faf!"
- "She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys, who she calls pretty, pretty boys."
- "Sos to remember, sos to forget!"
- "So I called up the captain, he said "Nyan nyan nyan."."
- Queen
- "Is this the real life? "Yeah, this is real life."."
- "This is just fantasy because I'm high, little lol."
- Freddie Mercury playing the beginning riff on the piano multiple times.
- "Mama mamM just killed gaga. Put a gun against his head."
- "But now I've gone and thrown my JoJ awaaaaaaay...MAM..yaaaaaaaaaaay."
- "ooOooOOOooooOoOoOoooOo"
- "Didn't mean to make you die...I wanna die...I sometimes wish I'd never been sauce at all!"
- "I see a little Icee."
- "hcoumaracS, hcoumaracS. oelilaG oelilaG oelilaG oelilaG. Magnificooo I'm'I oooooooo."
- "Nobody loves memes."
- "No no no no no no non on on on on on on."
- "Sos. So you think you can lol. Just got to get right out of here."
- "Good-bye, everybody!"
- The Bee Gees
- The 80's Kinda Sucked a Little Bit
- Johnny Depp reading I Am America (And So Can You!)
- The a-ha part ending with the Rick Roll.
- The part with Risky Business
- The 90's were a point in time
- The 2000s were a Decade, Century, and Millennium
- "DON'T SHOP."
- "It's my chocolate attack!" (Pokémon game screenshot shows De La Soul attacking 2D with chocolates)
- "I used to play The Force Unleashed, but I discovered that it sucked! Now in the morning I play Mario!" *the opening of "Viva La Vida" is played sped up with Chris Martin flashing colors* note
- "I wanna doo-doo in Texas place."
- "P-p-p-poke her face, p-p-poke her face!" (obligatory)
- "I'll get him a car!" (Super Mario Bros. 2 theme plays)
- "I wanna roll with — the gangstas, but sooos.
- "No, you can't read my POPE!"
- "A little gay is fun when you're Russian!"
- "Russian roulette is not roulette, and if it's not roulette, it isn't fun."
- "Chicken muffin, chicken muffin!"
- "To perform for you tonight...Andre, Andre, Andre... and Andre."
- The fans' cheering getting louder and completely drowning out the performance.
- "My baby don't mess around because she don't know how...my baby don't know s***!"
- My baby is killin' me right now!
- ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT...
- Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she a gold digger.
- My best friend says she used to *bleep* my best friend Usher!
- "Get down, girl, go 'head, get THE F*** DOWN!!!"
- A gag that came just a bit too late: Shut up and take my money!
- Lol... F-YOU
- "One shot. One opportunity. One Pikachu, would you capture it?
- "His mom's a Heavy!"
- "He's nervous, but on the surface his body is ready!"
- "He opens his mouth, but the VOMIT won't come out! He vomits all over the whole crowd!" [cue Eminem vomiting from "Just Lose It"] "Everybody's grossed out now!"
- "Snap back to reality! Op, op, op, op, Oppa whoa!"
- You only get one shot. YOU DO NOT GET TWO SHOTS.
- "But hold your nose, 'cuz here goes the Coca-Cola!"
- "Alright, stop... Pajama time!"
- The 2010's Were Forever Ago
- A lot of the "Despacito" portion is a LOT of mashed up Spanish. And it's translated in the closed captions!
- "Female, female, female, despacito." This is a accompanied by a montage of women from the video, with one of the shots being Ellie/DaThings herself.
- "The price of my love's not a price... The price is not rice."
- The montage of Luis Fonsi repeating Spanish words of different body parts, while the camera zooms in on each one he says.
- The seamless transition from a Kraft macaroni and cheese commercial to the next music video, "Bad Guy" by Billie Eilish.
- "So you're a guy? Cool."
- "So you're a white guy, just can't get enough guy".
- "You're a Shy Guy, Ruff Puff, Tuff Puff," (guy dons dog ears and snout) "Ruff, ruff!"
- "I'm the type type, make your momma sus type, make your girlfriend Mai Tai type, I'm the dad type."
- "I'm a baaaag... huh."
- Dank Puft feat. Pharrelliams
- "Like the legend of Joaquin Phoenix."
- "She's up all night to get SuS. She's up all night to get some. She's up all night to get f***ed. I'm up all night to watch Lucky Star."
- "R, R, R," (Pharrell dresses up as a pirate) "Arrrgh!"
- As Pharrell keeps singing "I'm up all night", it fades to a picture of an out-of-it Pharrell still in bed.
- In the "Somebody That I Used To Know" segment, the first pan-up on Gotye shows a surgery scar under his chest, a reference to DaThings's own gender transition.
- "Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."
- "I'mma take your grandpa. I'mma take your grandpa. No for real. No for real. Can I have your grandpa?"
- The saxophone pitch shifted to play We Are Number One.
- "That's fifty dollars for a Popsocket."
- "I'm in this big apple. I look edible."
- This Is This Is America
- "This is America. This is 'Murica. This is Eirika. Look, this is Erik. This is Ms. America."
- "I'mma be strippin' now."
- "Yeah yeah, I'mma go into this. Yeah yeah, this is my area. Yeah yeah, I'mma go to bed."
- As Childish Gambino goes to sleep, an image of insomniac Pharelliams faintly appears in the corner.
- A lot of the "Despacito" portion is a LOT of mashed up Spanish. And it's translated in the closed captions!
- Call Me Beep Me Maybe When You're Sober
- "Color me like one of your Frerf girls."
- "Color me a cat."
- "Colored baby!"
- "I'm your basic average girl. And I'm basic, and I'm average, and I'm girl."
- "You can't stop me 'cause I'm Kim Jong-il"
- "Call me call me if you want to call me, when you wanna call me that's okay"
- "beepbeepbeepbeep"
- "I threw up in the well, I looked at you and now you're in my puke"
- "Here's my baby, so call me Gaben"
- "Hey I just met you, and I just met you, but I just met you, so '''i just met you'''"
- FUS RO DAH!
- "You love memes? Come find Memebase"
- "You love beer with mead!"
- CALL ME. Call me beep me maybe when you're soos—
- "Justin Can't Stop Staring At Your Missile Toes"
- "I should be playing in the winter snow / But imma be playing in the winter snow / But Imma be, imma be, imma imma imma be"
- "But I can't stop staring at your butt!"
- "Fresh Friday"
- "Russian, Russian, everybody's Russian"
- "Gotta be fresh" "Now this is a story all about my lul"
- "No U"
- "I whistled for a cab and when it came near / The license plate said FRERF / If anything, I could say that this cab was rare / But I thought, nah, forget it! Yo, homes, to West Philadelphia!"
- "BRB"
- The To Catch a Predator skit:Chris Hansen: The thirteen-year-old girl, home alone.Will Smith: Hmm...Chris: I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC…Will: ♪Yo, this is bad!♪Chris: ...and we’re doing a story on computer predators.Will: ♪I ain't trying to get arrested yet, I just got here!♪Chris: You are every parent's worst nightmare!Rebecca Black: ♪Which seat can I take?♪Chris: Laugh out loud.
- Poom Poom Bow (audio is muted) Audio restored ver.
- "Gaga. Got a kitty cat. Got a Kit Kat."
- "Rockin' them beats"
- "I'm on that Super Sonic ZoooooZ!
- "I'm steppin' on leprechans!"
- Cee Lo Green Remembers When He Forgets You
- "I remember when, I remember, I remember, I remember, I—" "Remember when…"
- "I'm sorry, I can't afford an Atari, but that don't mean I can't get you an Xbox"
- "And all that you have in life…" (box of Life cereal appears)
- Taylor Swiftly Removes Her Spectacles
- "You're on the phone…" (song ends)
- "You're on the phone with your cheer captain and I'm on the phone with your girlfriend, she's obsessed, and she's going off about sus."
- "She wears short skirts, I wear short shirts, she's short captain and I'm on the Bleach."
- "…thinkin' to myself, Hey, isn't this a park bench? Easy A."
- "She wears hah heels, I wear Snickers"
- "Wearing hipster glasses? Too mainstream."
- Taylor: I Love You.
Guy: I Love Men.
(both awkwardly leave the party)
- You're mad, Dishcord
- Carly Simon's trollface.
- "You're sos, you probably think this song is about sos."
- "I bet you think this song is about you, don't you? don't you? don't you? don't you?"
- "Cloud's in my coffee"
- "Terrible sos is going down, through the Tire Town"
- "DISCO!"
- Flynn Adam answers 'hash brownies' phone call.
- "OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, Oh K.O. Kay…" (Kay Jewelers logo appears) "…Oak, eh?" (picture of Professor Oak appears)
- "I do the dishes, you know I love dishes"
- "You know I love trash"
- "You know I love Kisses"
- "You know I LOL"
- "Their glasses are filling up their glasses"
- "And I feel every child" CUT TO TEST SCREEN
- Hagrid and Jesus give Reginald Van Hook a slap in the face
- {YTP} ~ Nicki Minaj Tries her Hand at Self-Sacrifice
- "Ooohhhweh...Ooohhhweh...Ooohhhweh...Ooohhhweh...OOOHHHWEH!"
- "Stepped up in the potty like my name was "That Potty"."
- "All these haters gonna hate because I'm sos."
- "Stab. Stab. Stab."
- "Imma kill mahself."
- will.i.am hitting a Mario question-mark block, a Call-Back to "Poom Poom Bow".
- "In MySpace and I'm not coming down." we see a red cross on Facebook
- "I'm just so monotone...onotone."
- "Sometimes it's just me and I'm alone." We see the Forever Alone face on Nicki Minaj
- "I can't believe it. It's sos."
- "Hi Billy Mays here for the Nicki Minaj slider station!"
- "I can't believe it. It's Billy Mays!"
- Woah. This is supposed to be the Nicki Minaj Collab. Better get back on topic. note
- "The Dun Dun nuD nuD ehT. The SuS Dun. Yep, the sus nun. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun."
- "A pony's house, a pony's house, a pony's house."
- "I hear Tom loud and clear, that is how I know Tom is near." [MySpace Tom appears on-screen]
- KILL YOURSELF!
- "All I Want To Beer"
- "This ain't LA. This ain't L, and it ain't A either."
- The slow-motion close-up when Sheryl Crow makes the "poggers" face.
- "I like a good beer. I like drinking bottles of beer early in the morning on Tuesday. But I won't drink Bud Lite. I only like good beer."
- "I got a feeling... (woo, hoo)"
- "Billy takes the moon, then he takes the sun, then he takes everything that seems like fun down to his oversized fingers before cursing them out, he's w***ing the b***s of B** as they s*** on the f***."
- "Out of nowhere, Shrek enters the bar. Daaamn, he thick. The bartender looks up his skirt." "What?" "Nothing."
- "HEY dude! Wanna have some fun?" "Yeah!" "I got a fee." (Beat) "Oh."
- "All I want to do is have some fun until Monika comes up the boulevard."
- "Clean and dirty Buicksons and Daccs."
- "Scrub-scrub-scrubbing as best they can in skirts and suits and hose and scrubs and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats."
- The Stinger: "Mam, this is a Wendy's."
Commercial and Infomercial YTP
- "Arby's serves some Goog Moom Foof"
- "Arby's Chicken Cordon Bleu. Achoo. Chicken breast topped with ham and swiws on a sesame seed nun. Also try our mint chocolate squirrel shake."
- "Arra— It's food!"
- "Oven roasted, freshly sliced? Yeah, right."
- "Arby's— It's Goog Moom Foof!"
- "...And tasty portobello sauce, SUS, SUS, SUS..."
- "Suspenders! Jesus!" "♪Sandshreeeeew~♪"
- "People everywhere are discovering angus beef in a HoH SiS yay!"
- "It's Doog Doom Doof!… Dude!"
- "Oh no! Not the Ar-bees! Not the Ar-bees!"
- "Of or Belonging to Arby"
- "Any beverage connoisseur will tell you that real Kentucky bourbon has ALCOHOL! Arby's: We have ALCOHOL now!"
- "...real Kentucky bourbon whiskey is made by magic. Arby's: We have the magic."
- "Look at this bacon!"note
- "Starby's: We have the mouthfeel."At participating Starby's, and only technically.
- "Arby's Italian meatball sub, aptly named, the Italian Italian, should come with meatballs. Well, Arby's messed up. Oopsi."
- "Maybe, it was because the last time you went to Arby's, you ate your grandparents... somehow, because I have."Goodness...someone should say something.
- "Arby's: We have the mea-" (burger explodes as the narrator screams) "...What?!""Arby's: We had the meats."
- Brought back again after a long, silent shot of ham.
- "Arby's: We have nothing.""Man, 0 out of 5."
- "Arby's: YOU ARE MAKING A MISTAKE"
- "Try Arby's new Shroomish!"
- "Arby's, it's Foo!"
- The Stinger:Nic Cage: Oh no! Not the Arby's! Not the Arby's! AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!
Announcer: (music cuts off) Good news! Now you can stop!
- Jej Dry
- "He gets Aldi."
- "Once a month for spps spaps sparkling Klingons."
- "That was this, this was that, that was that, this was this."
- "Add Jet Dry, with Jet Dry!"
- "Your dishwasher was your dishwasher!"
- "That's what I call This."
- "Jet Dry. The besh."
- Date Mystery
- "Don't be lame!"
- "Open the door Open the door Open the door Open the door"
- "It's MyssyM Date Date Date! The thrilling new Milton Bradley game that's just for you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you, and you. Not you! Dod, sus."
- "Fun and fun and fun and prizes—that's MyssyM. Remember, Bradley makes the worst games, sauce."
- "Will your Mystery Date be a man, or a girl?" (dreamy sigh)
- "Get Mystery Date, for Wii U."
- "Answer the door. Answer the door. Girls, answer the door." MYSTERY!
- The Flowolf
- "Hi. [Beat] I'm high." (Aren't I just so original?)
- "I'm Brian."
- "I'm Colin Mochrie."
- "I'm Briarb Lollins thanking you for purchasing the Flowolf."
- "Proper sus is the key to getting sucky-looking haircuts. With no hair." [beat] "I f**king hate getting haircuts."
- "Ab-sleuth-ly."
- "I never look as if I need a haircut, and I never look as if I need a haircut, and I never need a haircut, and I need get a haircut, and I never LUL."
- "Cut-a-duck Cut-a-duck Cut-a-duck. It's super effective."
- "With the Flowolf, you can cut a mammoth. And of course, we're talking about elephants." "Ab-sleuth-ly."
- "If you want an efficient, fast haircut... Link."
- "Hi. [Beat] I'm high." (Aren't I just so original?)
- The FLOWOLF: Director's Cut
- The OW OW Cutting Show. OW.
- "Hi, I'm Brian Collins." (jump cut) "Hi, I'm Brian." (another jump cut) "Hi, I'm Colin." (another jump cut "Hi, I'm high." (final jump cut) "Hi, I'm Briarb Lollins."
- The FLOWOLF logo zooming in to be "OWO".
- "Now you can get a professional, provisional haircut with no hair." (jump cut to Colin Mochrie)
- "You should have the FLOWOLF, one foot, two small feet, One straight guy -- me, and, of course, the bottle of lubricant."
- "If you haven't done so already, you're donezo." (cue logo reading "DONEZO")
- "I f—king hate getting haircuts. This haircut sucks."
- "Now turn on the FLOWOLF. Now turn on the Flowbee motor. Now turn on the floater. Now turn on the Flowbee Mowbee." (cue logo reading "FLOWBEE MOWBEE") "Now turn on the BMO."
- "Now, you're ready to turn on me, Briarb Lollins. You might wanna verify that I'm being sucked. Get used to being sucked first. This is also a good time." (Briarb makes an odd face as he thinks) "I'm one straight guy."
- Lilly Mays Endorses Solicitation
- "Hi, Billy Mays here for Psy!"
- The opening, which sets a bit of "Gentleman" to the opening bassline of "Scream and Shout"
- "PSYCH!"
- A video of Pink Guy being chroma-keyed into the floor.
- "Hi, Billy Mays here to share with you, the most important product I have ever endorsed: Cheese for everyone!"
- "Have your rates gone up? Have you been turned up? Have you been turned into an orange?" ("Well, at least I'm an orange.")
- "Eevee Doctor Who, perverts, saucepital stays, surgery, blood tet nolb, XXX, Billy Mays, Ketchups, Billy Ray Cyrus, Eternity, The Room (2003), and Soos Mum Roar!"
- "And I'm not talking about some Internet floozy, I'm talking about the real deal. And when I say the real deal, I mean your mom's SUUUUUUUURE TO PLEASEEEEEEEEEE!"
- "And when I say affordable, I mean, you can actually afford a bull!"
- "Hi Lilly Mays here for the Minnie Gloves!" (That's when I knew I was done) "Whatever!"
- SplolqS (A short one, so here's pretty much the entire video)
- "You're a kid now, you're a squiuqs! You're a kid, you're a squid, you're a kid, you're a squid, you're a kid, you're a squid, you're a (Pull-Ups commercial) kid now! ... I'm a squid now! Wow! (End Pull-Ups commercial) AHA AHA AHA! EEEH! Splatatatatatatata-tatatatatatatata-tatata-ta-ta-ta-tatoooooon!" "Rated everyone ten."
- Wilford Brimley Loses
- "This presentation is brought to you by Liberty Medic, helping you to Get a Life."
- "Good morning, I'm Wilford Brimley and I would like to *** you for a few minutes. I'm gonna give you diabeetus."
- "....brought to you by Liberty Bell, helping you to die."
- "I'm Wilford Brimley and I would like to talk to you about diabeetus."
- "If you're over five, have diabetes, and are on Medicare, you must die."
- "I lost all my energy, I lost my family, I lost all my ice cream and apple pie, and I think the most important thing is, I Lost the game. And alo-o-ong the tra-a-ail you're gonna die. I would encourage all of you to die."
- "I like to say, 'we will, we will rock you....uoy.'"
- "This presentation has been brought to by Little Bill. Help me, help me please, HELP ME!"
- "Thanks for your time. Have a good day. PSYCH! You knew that was comin'."
- "You oughta be laughing at my life."
- Zombie Wilford Brimley.
- "Well, if you have diabeetus, I don't care."
- SusSetter Retractable Awnaw
- "It keeps our patio about 20% cooler." (cue picture of Rainbow Dash)
- "We lul, and you're going to lul too. Transformers!"
- "And talk about sex, you can choose opening and closing." (OMG DaThings1 Made a Sex Joke!!!!!!!1!!!)
- "Call now to get the HoH SiS story, Mark."
- Burgers and Greens
- Taking the Watch Five
- "What'sus everybody? I'm Vest Aecabeedo, and you are you."
- "You'll also get a picture of Pop and two reefs, saucesome!"
- "Attention Allah, you are God."
- "And we really need volunteers that will fit inside easter eggs."
- The running gags involving the loading screen and the pee tent.
- "I'm gonna kick Ringo."
- "Hey, where's Ringo? This isn't funny, man! Who took my favorite Beatle? WE'RE GONNA FIND YOU. >:C"
- "Are you thinking about getting baptised in dog poo? Well now's your chance."
- "We've created a number of Reese's."
- "You are watching the Cake Fight."
- "Dropoff locations are in Grove City, Grove City, Grove City, Grove City, Grove City, and the Grove City."
- "During the month of July there are no Wednesday nights, however, there'll still be Wednesday nights."
- "You are watching the Take FAAF. And remember, don't watch Family Guy." [gets fries thrown at him]
- (Your reaction to that joke)
- "...and you are taking the Watch Five."
- "I'm Dave Speedo, and you are watching The Jackson 5."
- "Did you know I have hair? Well, now you do."
- Zooks!
- "The publication is fascinating. The publication is fun. The publication is magnificent. The publication is free!" "No, absolutely not free."
- "Each monthly issue of Zooks is packed with animal breath!" ("Aw, come on!")
- "Each monthly issue is packed with breathtaking full-color photos, and scientifically-accurate illustrations" (cue humanized versions of Nick Wilde and Judy Hopps, a multi-colored beard, and Filthy Frank over pictures of cancer cells ["This is cancer!"]) "...plus games and puzzles! Plus Plusles! Today, through this exclusive Eevee offer, you can get Daddy Issues lullullullul"
- "When you call and you call and you use your credit call and you use your Reddit card, we'll include twelve elephants as a gift!"
- "Animal stickers, animal stickers, and the tiger poster! And the toaster!"
- "To order 12 'fascinating' issues of Zooks from 1995 call 'CALL-CALL-CALL'." (Must be 18 Ya'll)
- "Now your child can visit Steam!"
- "I can't believe what's coming out of my kid's mouth!" [cue rainbow vomit]
- "You know who's responsible? Justin Biebler."
- "The tree sloth is a sloth." "I didn't know that!"
- "You'll get 12 issues of Zooks for $19.95! That's an astounding $40.95! Less than $1.75! Call 1-800 JUSTIN BIEBLE-2988"
- [picture of a giraffe] "Look at that horse."
- "Hey son! Where'd you find this?"
- "Imagine, your very own brand new child in the mail every month. Month after month, child after child, children that even you may not know. These days, it's rare to find any children for such a small price. Call now to start your family today."
- "You'll even get this extra elephants issue as a gift!"
- The supercut of everyone mentioning the extra elephants issue, stickers, and Tiger poster.
- "You are exciting, wonderful, amazing, incredible, fascinating, beautiful, fantastic, captivating, and stunning!"
- GET OUT Gasoline Park
- After the original poop was claimed by the real park spoofed in the video, this version removes all the references to the park by re-editing the footage further and obscuring all visual and audio references, arguably making the result funnier.
- The multiple shots of people hanging in mid-air mid-jump.
- "Welcome to Get. If you're under 18 years old, you must jump. No grandparents, uncles, aunts, parents, or legal guardians are accepted."
- "Remember! No running!"
- "Empty your pockets!" (cocks pistol) "NOW."
- (Kid grunts like Roblox death sound) "Where's the restrooms? We gotta go to the bathroom quick!" "No restrooms."
- "Play Risk at your own risk."
- "No hanging from the rim while playing basketball at your own risk." The gag is repeated later in the video when somebody else hangs from the rim while playing basketball at your own risk.
- "Get— AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—"
- "Son of a gun! EEE EER Indoor Trampoline Park offers one kind of fun for one family! Rob Knowl's family!"
- "Get Egg is none of your business!"
- "EEE EER was founded in 2065 by offering a special area for everyone! But there's more to EEE EER than just trampolines." (A woman falls off a rope ladder to comical crashing noises) "We make it easy for families to have fundraisers, and also to Get Out!"
- "We want everyone to handle the food, supplies, and cleanup while we have fun."
- Overdubbing the Slack Line with voice clips from Spring Man.
- "If you'd like to learn more about our parks, visit LearnMoreAboutOurParks.com" (seacaptaindate.com) "We'll see ya soon, CS."
- "It is required that everyone watch this sational and informafety video. You must watch the entire video before you can watch this video."Well, that makes sense!
- "By taking part today, you assume the risk of death."
- "Do not die."
- "Jumpers must remove their clothes."
- "Jumpers must remove their head, neck, or stomach before jumping."
- "Never use a trampoline."
- "You're valuable."
- LEGO™ River™
- "A man has fallen in love!" "YeeeY!"
- Morshu's cameo.
- (clip from Liberty's Kids of the Boston Tea Party) "Tea has fallen into the river in Boston city."
- "The new Rescue Collection from LEGO City has fallen into the river!"
- "A man has fallen into the HAY!"
- '80s Mercedes
- Changing the title into "Manipulating People into Buying Cars," for starters.
- "Srars."
- "Let me add some thoughts." long Beat "Now, let me add some words."
- "If the customer is bi, this leads to three-ways. Even if you're in the middle of the sales presentation."
- "That's exactly what happens. Trust me. Take the statement at face value, and assume that what I'm telling you is true."
- Changing the title into "Manipulating People into Buying Cars," for starters.
- TacTickle
- "Everybody has a son. But can your son block blinding glare? Defend you from attackers? Save your life in an emergency? Carry your phone, snacks and other essential gear? See the surface of the moon? Fit in your pocket? Light up the night super bright?"
- "Nick Bolton can do things no ordinary son can do."
- Nick's 6,000-pound son (actually his dog) and its glitchy barking.
- "Everybody has a—"Larry The Cucumber: (singing) —Water buffalo-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...eeeeoooooo!
- "Now that's what I call—something."
- "I'm—" "—Ron Pitts. And you're about to see some camera. This is—" "TacCamera. The body camera. The body camera! The cam- for the -ra! Orro."
- "Capture sharp, high definition images from Into the Woods; every magic moment!"
- "Millimemillimemillim—you need to get the JOJ!"
- "Nick Bolton here with an exciting new addition to our gloves. Introducing: The Hands™!"
- "Nick Nolte here with our weakest collection. We call it: The TacBat."
- "The TacBat even lets you enjoy Don't Breathe."
- Everything Nick Bolton says about the TacGlasses. Unfortunately, "even the best sunglasses can't prevent rain."
- Terry Crews punches a cement slab for saying the glasses don't block blinding glare for 16 hours.
- "Invisible objects suddenly become visible objects! So you can see objects by causing your pupils to give you vision! Literally!"
- "You can step on them. You can step on me. And, yes, I can step on you."
- "Simply slide to adjust, slide it open and cut like dough, knead like dough, apply and—"O'Hare: (singing) Let it die, let it die! Let it shrirsh!
- "You just cut like dough, simply knead to activate, apply and let— (singing) Die, die...Die!"
- "Or getting boiled in oil! Lio ni deliob!"
- Nick Bolton smashes his tactical flashlight between two cinder blocks with a sledgehammer...and it remains intact! Doubles as an awesome moment.
- He does the same thing with a regular sledgehammer...and the torch breaks...until the footage reverses, causing it to survive!
- The "many" colours of wallets...including brown.
- "So let's review, Men Mender can fix men, attach patches, patch attaches, attack men, patch holes and holes. There's just nothing!"
- The Stinger has Nick saying everyone has something such as a wallet, a pair of work gloves, a toolbox AND a tactical flashlight.Archibald: Stop right this instant, what do you think you're doing?! You can't say everyone's got a tactical flashlight when everyone does NOT have a tactical flashlight! We're going to get nasty letters saying, "Where's MY tactical flashlight? Why don't I have a tactical flashlight?" And are you prepared to deal with that? I don't think so. Just STOP. BEING. SO. tactical!
- "Everybody has a son. But can your son block blinding glare? Defend you from attackers? Save your life in an emergency? Carry your phone, snacks and other essential gear? See the surface of the moon? Fit in your pocket? Light up the night super bright?"
- Seeder Point is basically two poops in one, the first half being based on a commercial for Cedar Point and the second on an instructional video for park staff. Both halves are equally hilarious.
- "This ride starts off innocently enough, but before long, Cedar Point guests are head over heels for the full-service corkscrew! The first coaster in the world to turn riders on! No one stays dry on this thriller that soaks riders and spectators' pants alike. Guaranteed to get you off!"
- The way they make the Gemini roller coaster sound like a miserable experience, and encourage you to ride the Junior Gemini instead.Looking for a great time? Junior Gemini is what you're looking for. Looking for a disaster? The Gemini is Cedar Point's most overwhelming experience. You're taken to the top, then hurt. The Junior Gemini roller coaster may not be as big as the real thing, but it's freaking sick. The real Gemini is too scary, like it was literally built by a demon. The Gemini will really make you feel out of control, but the six-mile-per-hour Junior Gemini is the coolest roller coaster!
- The Steam Powered Giraffe Running Gag throughout the video, where most animals are also steam powered:
- "The band Steam Powered Giraffe sparkles on the stage of Cedar Point's Theatre Point Theaters. But that's not the end of the live musical entertainment; there's singing and dancing from Steam Powered Lion, Tiger, Ostrich, Bear, and even such musical stars as Steam Powered Shark, Eel, Sea Turtle, Penguin and Piranha to satisfy everyone's musical tastes."
- "You can watch two different steam powered dolphins every day! Striker will delight you with their spectacular volleyball, and Brie jumps through the air like a steam powered bird!"
- "You can emulate Seeder Point note . It's easy to torrent the park, true to its name, but if you plan to do it, my .44 magnum is inescapable. Time to be scared."
- "Exciting rides, challenging slides, live food, delicious games, water entertainment, and challenging challenges.
- "After working a few weeks, you'll develop basic methods of live saving, such as CPR; that is, 'Caution Personal Ride', the A-B-C's; that is, 'Authorized Bone Choir', and the A-B-C-P-R; that is, 'Always Bribe Children Please Remember.'"
- "So many children think, but this doesn't make them people."
- The instructor's Lack of Empathy in this part:[Someone trips while getting off the carousel and hurts her foot.]
Staff: Stupid lady!
Instructor: This is very funny.
[Someone tries getting off a bumper car, but gets hit by another car and flips over while farting.]
Instructor: This is serious. This is not funny. Disgusting. - The T-B-T method (not "Throwback Thursday"):Tears, Bribery, and Threats must be used: tears for yourself, bribery for your coworkers, and threats for your guests-s-s-s-s"
- "There are different types of extinguishers for different kinds of extinguishing: water, earth, fire, and air. Everything changed when the fire extinguisher attacked."
- "After working a few weeks, you'll develop trauma. If you've received personal trauma, repair yourself. Never rely upon any adult. Do not talk about it to any friends."
- And of course, The Stinger:Every employee should constantly watch for Nazis during the day. They should not be allowed to participate. You should use the appropriate hand signals when dealing with guests who are unwelcome.
- Products™ is a compilation of short pieces mocking nifty As Seen On TV products.
- "If you love boiled eggs, but hate spoiled eggs, you need iPod, a new kind of way to play music!"
- "Simply add water, then cook in the Michaelwave! Next, simply add water, shake in the Eggpod, add water, and now you can easily tweet eggs anytime!"
- Of note, the tweet shown in the video is a real tweet posted a week before the YTP was uploaded.
- "Dirty dirt...it hurty hurts! You need Perfect Pane, the perfect treatment that protects windows for up to twelve minutes guaranteed!"
- "Actually, no, they're not protected at all! Because it's one hundred percent sucky!"
- "Easy? Nope."
- "Whether you're stretching a pie, or downloading a pie, one size fits Saul! Which means you can start watching Better Call Saul!"
- "Butt weight, there's more!"
- "Don't try that with DALL•E!" (A bunch of failed AI-generated images of The New Drawer Lamp™ are dumped on the floor)
- "If you love boiled eggs, but hate spoiled eggs, you need iPod, a new kind of way to play music!"
- "Goods™"
- "Remember that cool microscope you had as a kid?"Kid: No...
- "Car messy? You no have place put trash? You need the Carbage Can to make your life complete!"
- "Guaranteed to never leak all your family photos, just pay a separate fee."
- "..yours today for the special TV price of Free! Act now and you can get a second Carbage Can, just pay a second Free!"
- "Forever Wallet, the last yellow wallet."
- "Still using that old Forever Wallet? The one that sucks to the max? First, Forever Wallet eliminates your money, we mean it!"
- "So don't waste your time! Don't suffer nasty terrible ugly thin-skinned Forever Wallet when you could get flat! Or you can get dead. That's right, you could get dead or dying, and no one will believe you! And if you're still using your garbage Forever Wallet, don't delay, despair today!"
- "Goes from cart to car, and car to car, and cart to cart, and goes from kitchen into car, and car into Carbage Can."
- "...or trips to the bees. That's right, bees! Disease! And Ar-bees!"
- "Who's keeping an eye on the babies? Now the answer can be Yuffie! She continuously captures babies and hides in Planes."
- "How about those mischievous pets?" ("Dogs can be quite miss-che-vesh.") "No, Bluetooth! No, bad Bluetooth! Introducing Mike, the amazing new dog!"
- "Every step also features no-padding. Ding ding ding, it's terrible, and it's made with extra-turdy materials! Plus, you can feel gross inside about ordering, because a portion of each purchase will support 30 dog pounds!"
- "Simply put your dog's drugs under furniture, which makes it perfect for addicts."
- "Introducing Boom Boom, the amazing speaker! Imagine being able to enjoy commercials." (Thumbnails of past advertisement YTPs appear, including Goods™ itself)
- "Here are the volume levels without Beaker. Here are the levels when connected to Beaker, and now we lay Beaker on the Boom Boom! As you can hear and now see, the levels are now even!"
- "You could pay a hundred dollars for a Bluetooth speaker, or you can get a Boom Boom for just $99!"
- "You need the Peeler Leeler. It's tough enough for slicing One Direction. Or use it to shave!"
- "And watch this: The Others!"
- "You can even deliver coffee everywhere!" ("Nice car!")
- "Oh, ye Gods! Your car is ruined!" ("Great...")
- "Whoa! Not again!" ("Not so nice coffee.")
- "Because we know you could use a hand, here's a power outlet thing. It's strong and sturdy..." ("BONK!") "...without leaving any Scooby-Dooby residue behind!"
- The Flat F*ck Hand Truck segment, which features a reference to the "Professional"/"Amateurish" running gag from "Hey Buddy, Nice Cards".
- "Push the dust around to easily reach Homestuck fans that almost never get clean!"
- "Introducing Backseat Boom Zoom, the amazing gadget that puts even more junk in your trunk!"
- "Also, special thanks to the H!"
- "Remember that cool microscope you had as a kid?"
Web Video YTP
- Some Screams Are At Cats.
- "Get the fuuUUUUUUUUuuf! Wow! JOOOOOOOOOOJ!"
- "DO IT, YOU KING, DO IT!!!" "Ok!"
- "Look at me! Look at me!" DON'T STARE AT ME!!!!!
- *cat sitting at computer, watching My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic* "WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?!"
- "GET THE SUS!!! NUN!!!"
- "YOU ARE A RAKE!!! YOU ARE A PIECE OF PIZZA!!! AY! AYA! AYA! I'M GOING TO MY CLOSET!!! PEW!!!"
- "The whole world knows who you are now, Nick!" "I'M GOING TO JUMP!!!!!"
- "Q!!!!! DON'T STARE AT STAIRS!!!"
- "I'M GOING TO RAPE ME!!"
- The ending, with the Nike commercial.
- "JUST DO IT!!!!!"
- "The Critic Critic Reviews The RooR"
- "'Hello, Nostalgia Critic! Well… This is it.' Worst. E-mail. Ever."
- "Why am I downstairs, in the basement?" "Oh, Sssssssssssss." "Oh, okay."
- THE ROOR - Starring MOMMY WEAU
Mommy Weau, as Johnny: "The bank's a funny bank and they're using memes. And memes used to be funny. And I am Phillip Banks."- "And this is Denny's! You know that creepy guy who always looks at you funny at Subway? Yeah. He looks at you funny at Denny's apparently."
- "I'm not gonna question anything, but I am gonna play this music." (cue Nostalgia Critic's "Uh" to the tune of the Super Mario Bros. 2 theme)
- "He's a pork. He provides forks for you. And Darling, you can't provide pork for yourself."
- "And I'm dying." "You're not dying, Mom." "I'm dying." "You're not dying, Mom." "I'm not dying." "You're dying, Mom."
- "Johnny doesn't drink! I know he drinks, but he doesn't drink!"
- "Sus had better do sus around here!"
- "Ohio!"
- "Critic!" "AWAY WITH YOU!" *runs off crying*
- "THIS! IS AN X!" [an X flies into the screen]
- "Let's go eat." "Oh, gee. Can we eat? I've never eaten before. Is there a restaurant somewhere around here?"
- "YOU'RE TEARING ME APART!"
- "Meanwhile, sex."
- "The Sims, lol."
- "You're not my motherf*cking mother!"
- "Lisa loves you too. As a bean." (Cut to Denny with a bean for a head) "Wow."
- Replacing the "ThatGuyWithTheGlasses.com" watermark with "ThatGuyWithTheGlands.com" on occasion.
- "RadicalFaith360 Reviews the Doduo"
- "Super Turbo Sega Nintendo Genesis PC Graphics Engine 360"
- "Such as Minneapolis, New York, New Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Los York, Lol York, Sos Angeles…"
- "You don't need… a cabinet full of cleaners!"
- (over a picture of a fashion model) "This is the American model I'm showing you here. As you can see, it looks pretty slim and sexy, which is very nice. Furthermore…" (picture zooms up to show the model has messed-up eyes) "What the—" [test pattern]
- Morte Displays His Top Hat.
- This gem.
Morte: "Brushmegod is from a person. WOAH. says"
* Displays an empty comment from a user named Person*
Morte: "... The answer to that is yes."- And the second one.
Stanley's comment: "What is a man?"
Morte: "The answer to that is yes." - Jaunt Ron:
- "Mission briefing: sus." (dathingsOne is back, guyz!) [A sped-up version of "Take on Me" plays briefly over the text in curved brackets]
- "Instead of simply saying yes and taking the money, he chose to be MORMON?! Har-de-har-har!"
- "Why would I try to escape real life by playing a game?" *look of realization*
- "Thanks for watching! If you want to stay up to date on JonTron, murder your wife and children!"
- "You actually have to play the game to beat the game! Yeah, sounds random, right?"
- "Each obstacle makes an etching in my Etch-a-Sketch in my soul."
- "LoL"
- "...which you use to buy a Shamwow! You have to let it soak in water for 5 minutes, but not more than 10, and then cry!" [cries]
- "Step one: quit JoJ! And that means doing it all over again."
cs188: I understood that reference.- The whole Lose Yourself bit.Japanese spaghetti — BLAOW
- "Maybe they're talking about the game The Game The Game... Game Game Game..."
- "SHUT UP YOU DISH!?!"
- "Jaunt Ron Toot, featuring JonTron!"
- "There's no JonTron, is there?"
- "Hmmmmmmmm! Funny joke!"
- "The Christmas season is about taking a doodie. Yuletide log!
- WA WA WA
- "Hello everybody, my name is Mar-malade. And it's spelled M A R... malade. M'lady" *tips fedora*
- This:
Hannah: May I ask, what book are you reading?Reuben: Oh hai Hannah. Yes, it's a book about—Hannah: You read too many books, Reuben.- As well as this:
Hannah: "Reuben, do you actually believe in the dictionary?"Weirdly distorted image of Reuben: "Yes, Hannah!"Hannah: Reuben, you need to get a Reuben.Reuben: No, Hannah.- "You're a rhinocereconihrhi"— (proceeds to beep out the Normal Boots jingle)
- The montage of babies laughing at sus jokes.
- "Insalutely Abspirational."
- Dathings herself is unimpressed with her own video, and goes back to watching Fesh Pince when it's over.
- Killin' Ooze with Computers, Computers, Computers, and more Computers:This video is sposnored by MingleGingle.tomUse Promo Code HATEDOGS for your free 30-day free trall!
- FAKE NEWS (sad!)
- "Dog Killah News, hittin' a dog, killin' dogs, boi. Y'all, playa, hatin' on us, 'cause we hate dogs."
- "Nihihith." "Siddle Dizz." "That's right, Jerry."
- "Let's hear a word from our sponsor: Computers, Computers, Computers, Computers, and Computers, Computers, More Computers, Computers, Computers.... FO(U)R all your computers, computers, computers and more." "Come on down to Computers, Computers, Computers, Computers, Computers Computers, Computers, Computering Computers...."
- "Come on down, come on down, come on down, come on DOOOOOWWWWWNNNNN!"
- "Also, EVERYTHING!" *co-anchor spills coffee cup near his face, causing office supplies to spill all over him*
- "'And he flipped me the bird,' says Bir-nie Sanders after rolling a tight dope split and keeping it real."
- "I feel bad." (me irl)
- "My wife used to be a house." (begins crying)
- "We'll be right at back with this commercial break!"
- "Go to-" "BED!"
- "Go to MingleGingle.com so you can find your man..."
- "Hi. My name is Tom, and I'm Tom. Go to MingleGingle.tom for your Free 30-day Free Trall."
- "Now back to more killin' a dog." (cue TRIGGERED PETA)
- "What time is it?" "IT'S TIME TO D-D-D-D-D-D-D DO IT, MAEM!!"
- "Hello-olleh, Welcome to the Snooze. I'm Jerry." "That's right, Jerry."
- "Fuuf with the weather!"
- "Yo son, 'sup? There's hella sunshine out there, boy!" "I'm done. I'm just... I'm done."
- See Captain Date Men All Day
- "When you're on a boat full of men all day, let's just say you don't get any women."
- "Every now and then, I kind of daydream about women in a bottle." *Cue I Dream of Jeannie opening*
- "I kinda daydream about sinning..." *screen turns red to distorted music*
- "I'm Captain Jacob Calebson, but my mother calls me 'the big joke'." *frustrated sigh*
- "My mistress may be my mother, but the thing is, when you're on a boat full of men all day, let's just say you don't get a chance to meet that many women."
- "I LOVE MOM!"
- "Plus, I still have to deal with that divorce." "What? You're married?" "Uh, technically, to my mother..." "What!?!"
- "We got Taco 81 here..."
- "When you're on a boat full of men all day, let's just say you don't fall three stories, get up, and run away."
- "Why settle for a man when you can have a boat?"
- Certain Pain- go to www.MingleGingle.com
- "Snacks?"
- "Every now and then, I kind of daydream about men all day..."
- YTP Vimes by Dathings1
- "Deez Nuts!" "Oh! Oh! That was a good prank!"
- "I just came to say— HELLO!"
- "While everyone's lost, the battle has won with all-" "Deez Nuts! HA-A-A-A-A!"
- "Don't you put me on the back burner... OHHHHHHHH!"
Gordon Ramsay: That's the kind of noise you want to hear in the pan every time.- "I see you driving 'round town with a girl I know, and I'm like, 'Nice car.'"
- "Everybody look at me, 'cause I'm sailing on a— boat full of men all day..."
- "My name's Tyrone!" "I'm Uniqua." "I'm Tasha." "AND I'M JAVERT!"
- "Are ya ready, kids?" "Aye-aye, captain!" "I can't hear you!"
Nicki Minaj: I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I!- The running storyline of Jack Black trying and failing to find an octagon.
- The running joke with the Last Week Tonight with John Oliver zebra holding up a stop sign during various clips.
- Both above jokes culminate in a Brick Joke.
- "Blue's skidoo. We can't." (cue depressing music)
- "Doctor, doctor, give me the juice. I got a... BATCAVE!"
- "IT'S SHAQ. IT'S SHAQ."
- "GET OUTTA YER MOM!" *shows clip of a midwife delivering a child* "GET OUTTA YER MOM!"
- "WHY ARE YOU SOUP?!"
- "SAM!"
- Why I felt Shosh
- "I'm bi." thank you.
- "Help... meeeeee..."
- "It started as a website for memes and a few years later, SmomS became a school."
- "Before SmomS was a brand owned by a company owned by a brand owned by a company owned by a brand, as deemed by the company..."
- "I'm feeling SooS scared, but also excited."
- "I'm really sad that it really didn't matter." (screen turns gray, ukulele music plays as a tear forms below his eye)
- (deep breath) "Die."
- your so dead to me. e.
- Let's Words!
- The running gag of the "Cleartalk Mastery" logo having the words changed.
- "These week's cult words are in VR" (puts on VR headset, cut to gameplay of Half-Life: Alyx. The player waves their hand under a Barnacle tongue and gets killed) "F"
- Dr Antonia Johnson suddenly looking like Morpheus from The Matrix, offering the viewer a red pill and blue pill.
- (picture of Hana Uzaki) "Not hot"
- "Let's words!"
- A watermark appearing over the Azumanga Daioh segment reading "Weeb Crap From 2002"
- "You say it." (joj) "Some people say joooj, some people say jaj, some people do it all over again."
- "Now, put the bulls together"
- "Could you do me a favor? Click on the subscribe button, leave a comment, and lettuce"
- At one point the Cleartalk Mastery logo reads "Edited Logo"
- "The Needle Deedle"
- Hi, everyone, Antano here, Neil Cicierega's busiest music fan, and it is time for Memetic Memes.
- Writer, arter, artist, multist, multiinstrumentist, producer, animatist, puppet, puppet seducer... I've covered his stuff on this channel quite a bit.
- Not nice!
- Even The Village People's "Wow! D.M.C.A." over pieces of The Sound of Music..."It's fun to stay in the Y.M.C.A. (Hills are alive...)"
- Compellodies.Hilarious. Genuinely the first ha-ha moment on the video.
- And it's time for a review of this new avalanche. [video footage of Avalanche]
- I'm feeling a light to decent 8 on this thing. I'm not really sure what else to say about this; I will always love avalanches... forever.
- The new Willey Hayliams album, Peppa Pig for Armor.
- An attempt to keep up with fellow kiwi Lorde, who blew up.Lorde: Don't you think that it's [BOOM]
Anthony: Lorde! - When I was... my father...
- I'm ready to live side-by-side with SpongeBob SquarethonyPantano here.
- [on Tinder] I wasn't all that crazy about the singles, the teasers, and the geezers...
- It's time for a review of Sweews. I'm definitely feeling like a strong Zero.
- Not nice!
- Blue on the Other
- The opening question that leads off the philosophical discussion:Abigail: What are cars?
- "Bodification Work" is promised as a future episode of the show.
- Earth 2, if you've never heard of it, is like Earth 1, but it's even.
- There's a Brick Joke involving "Greg from Earth-2", the mammal with the (broadly) cool car.
- The opening question that leads off the philosophical discussion:
- What Sarah Said
- Sarah Z is apparently a cannibal or at least was one when she was thirteen.Sarah: I just remember being a thirteen-year-old, I would consume teen after teen, and just absolutely devour the world and the government and my parents and school and even the f*ckin' Lorax, in total I ate tens of millions of people...well, most people. Not my co-writer Emily. Nevertheless, it was great. I just couldn't get enough...well, you get the gist. Who needs sandwiches when you have cannibalism?
- Katniss is a Cat Girl, who volunteers to fight her little sisters to the death in a competition called the HUUUUU GAAAA.
- Sarah Z herself actually commented on the video, declaring it "Just as delicious as all the people I've eaten". Her co-writer Emily also commented, expressing relief that she wasn't eaten as well.
- Sarah Z is apparently a cannibal or at least was one when she was thirteen.
- Dollip Eats-a the Prizza
- Dollip and Pizza celebrate their two-year anniversary of holding hams.
- After a barrage of Dollip making sus jokes:Dollip 2: Like from Among Us?Dollip: What?! No! Like from YouTube Poops!(silence, then the game's red astronaut is dragged on-screen)Dollip: ELLIE, NO!!
- Robbie Rotten's cameo.Dollip: Robbie, you better explain yourself! Explain yourself, Robbie!Robbie: The pizza is aggressive.Dollip: (laughs) I know, they're so aggressive!
- The animated segment with Dollip's cat Aubergine. Also voiced by Dollip.Aubergine: Hellooo, pizza!'''Dollip: Alright, here, let's get in the car.(Dollip makes car noises)Dollip: Enjoy.(beat)Aubergine: Is this cat food?Dollip: No, it's... pizza...Aubergine: I can't decide if I wanna eat a pizza or not.Dollip: Why?!Aubergine: I just ate!Dollip: WHAT?! I just brought you to the pizza!Aubergine: I don't want that.Dollip: Ugh, my god... just eat the pizza.(Dollip dances as Aubergine eats)Dollip: P-A-Z-I-Z-P-A...
- Nintedno Weak & The Narsty Narwhal
- In a Freeze-Frame Bonus, one of the articles in the sidebar of the one the sea captain brings up to prove to Alison and Gary(rary) that his crew is "resting comfortably" is titled: "Hill Entirely Devoid of Strawberries Following Burglary, Swedish Suspect Still at Large".
- "Here be yer assignments: First, die. Then, die. Then, dive into the ocean blue. Then, explore the game Fortnite from the Nintendo DSI Virtual Console service. Then, DEATH!! Finally, swallow me wee.Alison: GREAT! I love water sports!
- "I'm promoting you from navigator to Ali-gator!"
- "C'mon down here, mates, and I'll spin ye GREAT!" (cut to Alison and Garyrary being spun around in a way that's presumably GREAT)
- Later, the three discuss their favorite Nintendo DS games, such as the NARWHOORAHARWOWAN series, Games Classics Express Clubhouse Card (where one can play jackblack and Five-Card Draw), Clubhouse Games Exprerps: Jack Black Strategy Pack (with Hearts and Five-Card Draw), Clubhouse Games Exprerps: Jategy Blategy Pategy Strack (with jackblackgammon and Five-Card Draw), and the ever-popular Mammoth Revolution Express series. "Boy, oh boy!"
- "Look! There's pot!" "Wow, you're high!"
- The New Super Mario Bros. Wii segment of the video, which completely defies description. The icing on the cake is everyone's stunned reactions afterward before Alison and Garyrary promptly decide that it's time to leave.Bowser: Welcome home, Master Mario—
Mario: Discontinue! (Mario walks downstairs, whereupon he is greeted by a rotund Rosalina plushie...)
Rosalina: It's morbin' time! (Unlike the other Mario characters, her subtitles are made up almost entirely of arrows and don't even match what she's saying)
- Jenson's Impact (a poop of Defunctland)
- After describing the two pairs Ert and Bernie, as well as Statdorf and Waltler by saying "The two of them had actually been gay", Kevin brings up a third pair, Abe Lincoln and Jesus, and says "Look, I can't think of another way to say this: a lot of the Muppets were gay."
- "Jenson's response was simply: 'Sesame Street? More like Stress-a-Me Street. It was literally Nineteen Eighty-Four.'"
- "There were a few programs directed by children, such as Captain Violence. While the entertainment aspects of these programs were great, the executional aspects [video shows the scene of Ned Stark's beheading in Game of Thrones.] were lacking. But shows such as this had brought upon a national debate as to the negative effects violence could be having on the children. Jenson's response was simply: "I love war." The rejection of violence resulted in Jenson creating something far superior: Jenson would title it The Sequel to Violence."
- "But some bad news: Jenson had died, immediately after getting swallowed alive or blown up. It is nearly impossible to tell which."
- In Recognition of Mr. Judge
- "He's a two-time Emmy winner, a two-time Academy Award winner, and a two-time Game Award winner. Please join me in welcoming...Two-Time Tony!" *Dunkaccino theme plays as Al Pacino walks onstage*
*Al Pacino's nameplate reads: "TWO-TIME TONY, ONE-TIME CHOPPER"*- "Video games! ...Ha ha ha! Don't play 'em!"
- Three of "The nominees for the best knees" are various aliases of Chad Warden.
- "I have to thank my mamamamamam...even though it looked like I'd never amount to anything."
- "I have to thank Al Pacino, who just hugged me and just held me! He didn't think I would do it, but the tickle theory actually worked!"
- "I have to thank my money. Boy howdy, am I rich!"
- "And then (Sony Santa) said words that I will never forget...'Ho ho ho, ya douchebag!' ...Sus!" *raucous applause*
- "I got to twerk for you and with you. If I had known it was on video, I might not have."
- "Dolsin' Ideas"
- "I have a date as soon as the video goes live. So just know that I'm skipping to the part where Hank ignites and explodes."
- "The unfortunate reality is that Wilkins and Wontkins are publicly collaborators and enablers of the flat Earth movement."Wilkins: You think the Earth is flat?Wontkins: Not to me, it isn't![Wilkins sprays water at Wontkins]Wilkins: People like that NEED brainwashing!
- "Yar har har! The Flearth is in my own backyard!"
- "It's largely persuading idiots by going out to the shore of Lake Wonka."
- "You could eat chicken nuggets. It's about drive, it's about power, we stay hungry, we devour chicken nuggets. And it's something I find deeply fascinating."
- "It's popular with the kind people who write Jamie Oliver x chicken nugget fanfiction."
- "Obviously, Lake Minnewanka, a few minutes outside Lake Wonka, a few hundred minutes outside Lake Minnesota, a few thousand minutes outside Lake Wawanakwa."
- "Speedfolded"
- "Sss... 404."
- "But then, we arrive in 2027, when the main character of Super Mario 64 arrives onto the scene. Meet Bubs."
- "Bubzia had seen players like rUnnerGuy24601 and 3Dprism play games before. How is this possible? He's blindfolded. Here's Howie."
- "And now a word from this video's sponsor: Money. Money can help. Money finance bills money charges spending money customers dollars purse dollars money free premium money budgets. I think money is great!"
- "And now a word from Jerma."Jerma: Alcohol.
- "Oh, and Dire Dire Docks. It's quite similar to Fire Fire Fox."
- "They realized it would be faster to skip Cool Cool Mountain entirely. Cool Cool Mountain was now Womp Womp Not-Good-Enough Mountain."
- "Mario hit the wall, he never had it all"
- "It was all over, allowing for fluid movement that looked like fluvement that looked like a Visual Novel, allowing for fluid all over the screen."
- Bubzia's accomplishments were All for Nothing, since they were always canceled out by AntiBubzia, another player on the other world, doing the exact same thing backwards.Bubzia: I'm not happy, man. I'm not happy at all.
- "He lowered his P.B. to right behind Bubs and then counted Mario's foots." (One... Two... Three!)
- "Bubzia felt that he had to commit to LL Cool J, but he didn't."Bubzia: Balloon!
- "The run did have its slow moments."
- "The run did have its slow-mo moments."
- "The run did have its slow Momo moments."
- "The run did have its slowments."
- "And the worst part was when he started poopin' in Dire Dire Dire Dire Docks. [...] His Dire Dire Diarrhea continued through the game. [...] Hehehe, funny. It was so funny, that he couldn't help but merge without looking."
- "And now a video from inside this video."
- "Dude, those animals are sofas, and they make me wanna drive!"
- Right at the very end: "For a behind-the-scenes look at my behind, as well as lewd story lines that I couldn't include... collect my pages."
Miscellaneous and Multi-Source YTP
- The Eldest Scrolls IIV: SKRIM
- "The Game studios"
- "Storm you, Damncloaks!"
- "I used to be a girl from here. I wonder if Vilod is still making that meme." "Funny, when I was a boy, memes used to be funny."
- "Why are we stopping?" "Stop sign."
- "No wait, we're not bulls! This is a steak!"
- Lord Of Da Things.
- The ENTIRE intro, with all its Minecraft references.
- "Three to the dwarf lords, great Minecraftsmen of the mountain halls. And NYAN, NYAN rings were given to the racist men, who, above all else, desired men. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Mordor, the dark lord Mordor forged in secret a Mordor ring, to troll all others. WOW. But there were SUS!"
- "Isildor, son of the King, took up his father's SAUCE!" *Sauron turns into a Creeper, then explodes with the player damage sound effect from Minecraft* "The ring passed to Isildor, who had this one chance to destroy Troy forever!"
- "It betrayed Isildur...lol."
- "History became legend. Legend became myth. Myth became Mythbusters."
- "The ring brought to Mullog unnatural lol. For five hundred MILES it poisoned his mom."
- "Frodoor, the dough!"
- "If you're referring to the furry dragon, I was out of the door."
- "Six, six, six. VERY GOOD YEAR."
- The hobbits smoking weed.
- GUEST LIST:
- Bags
- Buffs
- Toots
- Brady Bunch
- Rugs
- Drugs
- Lawnmowers
- Boulders
- Race Cars
- The year 3434 of the 34th age. It follows the 34th account of Isildur. I, King of 34th Gondor and the 34th finding of the 34th Ring of Power.
- Will Wonk and the Chalk Factory is pure comedic genius.
- "Nobody ever goes in... and nobody ever goes in."
- "Grampa George, Grandma George, Grandma George, Grampa Joj!"
- "And here's a little gift from Grampa Me."
- Grandpa George is Tommy Wiseau.
- "You think I have a chance to find one?" "One? I'm counting on you to find none!"
- Charlie opening his birthday presents. The frst is a knitted scarf. When Charlie opens the Wonka Bar-shaped package, he pulls out an identical scarf. "Nevermind, Charlie."
- AGUSUGA GLUE - First Golden Tick Finder
- 'We're doing the best we bleeding can, I've got every bleeding girl in the bleeding staff hunting for ya!"
- "I'M A MAGICIAN! AVADA KEDAVRA!" (Workers scream)
- "9000 bars an hour they're shelling!"
- "Charlie, what are you doing here?" "Then I guess I'd better be going."
- (singing)"Go away, Charlieeeeeeeee"
- "I've decided to change Monday to Friday. That means Friday will take place on Monday. Of course, since the day is Tuesday, it doesn't matter in the slightest.
- "Nevermind, Charlie"
- Charlie refusing to pay for the chalk. And then giving the man his money-and immediately taking it back.
- "May I introduce myself, AlsaSluggles. And don't forget the name.
- "You're pulling our legs, Charlie."
- "Greetings to you, Charlie, the lucky puller of our legs. From Mr. Will Smith"
- (Charlie moves Grampa Joj by lifting his legs) "You're pulling legs, Charlie."
- Will Wonk and the Chalk Factory, part 2 is also pure comedic genius.
- Mike Teavee shooting Wonka, and Wonka collapsing, dead.
- "Inside this room, all of my dreams become realities. And some of my dreams become realities. And almost everything you'll see is seeable-visible. I mean, you can see almost everything."
- "This is a Muse lock." *plays Supermassive Black Hole*
- The Chocolate Room with Super Mario Bros. items in it.
- "Count your breath. Hold your wish. Make a three."
- "If you want to view paradise, simply die."
- "There's nothing...
- "Don't just do something! Stand there!" [Wonka looks confused]
- "He's *BEEP*ing all the chalk!"
- You played the Chalk Song.
- "Oompa Loompa Dedede! What do you get when you guzzle down fat? Eating an elephant! Ah! I don't LOL!"
- "Uh, ladies first, and that means Veruca!" "She's a lady!"
- *Everyone is getting into the infamous boat* *The boat enters the tunnel* *Cut* "We're here."
- "You're going to love MEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"
- DaThings1's long chain of ripoffs.
- "That's Sos!" "THAT'S SOS!"
- "You're blowing up!"
- "The strawberries taste like SNOT!"
- "Some very unusual sus in here!"
- When Mr. Salt goes down the chute, the arrow on the meter goes from "GOOD" to "DAD".
- "Well, Mr. Salt finally got what he wanted." "What's that?" "Veruca went first." YEEEEEAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!
- DaThings' refusal to make a joke about all of the soap suds on Wonka's car exploding over everyone, but then realizing that doing so was making a joke in itself.
- You call that unharmed?
- HERP
- DERP
- B'GERP
- "The jackpot, my dear sir, the grand and glorious jackpot. It's all there, Black and White and Crystal! You stole NOTHING! Good day sir!" "You're an inhuman monster!" "I said GAY sir!"
- "Charlie...my boy...YOU LOSE!".
- Everyday I'm Russian.
- Romney Puts On his Mitts.
- "I know what it's like to hire Dikekike!"
- The Leopard Cat theme.
- "Freerf and enterprise are what..."
- "Create JOJs, not jobs!"
- "We not only had a scandal to deal with, but also a vandal to deal with, but also a sandal to deal with... but also a candle to deal with!"
- "We cut people in two with a chainsaw!" VROOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
- "My legislature is 85% crap!"
- "We believe in our future, we believe in ourselves, we believe in our shells, we believe in our Weebls!"
- Obama Bails Out.
- "In order to afford one Ford... five families would have to pay one dollar!"
- "Two hundred and ffffffffffffffffffFIFty dollar tax cut for SUS!"
- "Nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom!"
- "Taking into account, the Count, the mammoth, the Mass Effect!"
- "It's not a plan to create jobs, it is not a plan to reduce the deficit, it is not a plan to build the deficit, it is not a plan to create JOJs, it is not a plan to defecate, it is not a plan to sit, it is not a planet, it is not a plant, it is not a plan, it is not a PLALP..."
- "We don't need Florida, we don't need America, we don't need the world!" KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMM!!!!!
- "And that's why I'm running again to Payless!" (cue picture of Obama running to Payless ShoeSource)
- "Cinnamon Bunglasses at Night"
- "I wear my sauce glasses at night... Sauce, saaaauce, can"
- "I wear my sauces at night so I can sew"
- Corey Hart shooting lasers out of his eyes
- "In this video I'm going to show you how to make sus that looks just like sus."
- "I farted. LOL"
- "And now I'm just squeezing it..."
- "I cut up Michael's face" (crunch) "RIP Michael"
- "Vanilla and butternut. Um, butternut. Um, butternut."
- "In this video I'm going to show you how to make alcohol. Aynonaynonaynonay. And it smells really good, kinda like mold."
- "To make this cinnamon roll look a little more realistic, I'm going to make a real cinnamon roll, and then I'm just gonna paint it."
- "I mixed in yellow food coloring Yellow food coloring."
- Here's an Eye
- "In case you're sus, we'll do a little 'recap'note ."
- "NNN NNN NNN"
- Epic Sax Guy.
- "Also Tara Strong's mouth."
- "Every exercise program I know about, works." [roll credits]
Director: Ox BellowsProducer: Jaj McFrerf- "I taught a renowned plastic surgeon how to do plastic surgery."
- "The muscles are just like the muscles"
- "We're going to stretch the face, we're gonna exersauce, and we're gonna bring blood to the altar. It's the most cleansing thing you can do....
- "The name of the technique is called the LLLLL-LLLLLLL-LLLLL."
- The creepy deep breathing is accompanied by evil spirits flying out of the woman's mouth.
- Average Entertainment - a Sus Nun Company
- "For those who don't believe in Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Rap Rat, the Easter Rat, the Santa Bunny, the Rap Santa, the Rar Rar, or the Rap Easter Santa Bunny Rat"
- "Yeah, Jamaican! Ooh, I'm legend wait for it .... daryrary."
- "I don't know what to say to this, so I'm not gonna say anything."
- "Ticycle Bires & Schrader Valves" (Remastered version)
- "The first thing to note is that there are two wheels on a bicycle."
- "Schrader valves"
- "Make sure you got good tension, then flip off the lever"
- "All you need to do is hold the ... hold the ... LINE!"
- "This will prevent Pops."
- "Then we can begin to pump up the bass." (cue Voice Clip Song)
- "Then you got the Dustox."
- "Valves tend to be fatter." [cue picture of Gabe Newell]
- "We gotta push the needle, so that you can so" ("So I can sew...")
- Strong Bad goes to Trot Con 97'
- "Bronies? That doesn't sound like anything I want to be a part of! Ladies in skimpy pony costumes? That sounds like everything I want to be a part of!"
- "Ladies in sauce costumes? That sounds like sauce!"
- "Ladies in skimpy outfits should be hanging out with DaThings, and to a lesser degree football players and rappers and rapball players and footers and rap rats and... Homestar Runner?"
- "Us hanging out is a front for us hanging out!" [The Cheat squeaks] [Beat] "Whoa."
- "All I know is we're hanging out at Trot-con '97." "It's two-thousand-faaf."
- "Whew, but... you're a butt."
- "Maybe it's time we fill up that horn of yours with pee."
[The Cheat pulls out a jar of pee and they run off] - "So here we are at Trot-KHAAAAAAAN!!!"
- "Bronies? That doesn't sound like anything I want to be a part of! Ladies in skimpy pony costumes? That sounds like everything I want to be a part of!"
- Hugh Geaux
- "I have stink lines radiating off of me...I'm crying, and the Eiffel Tower has stink lines coming off of it- DID ANYONE ELSE PUT A CARD INTO THE BUCKET?!"
- GO HUG GOKU
- Markiplier Plays Hugo
- "My mouse has been acting up."
- Steam. Punk.
- "Is your father dead?" "Yes." "OH GOOD, I LOVE CRYING."
- Monsieur Labisse playing Animal Crossing.
- "Have you ever seen a film?" "No." [MOVIE ENDS] "Fantastic. This was a huge waste of my time."
- Soup or Smash Bros.
- "...Get help."
- "Super Suicide Brothers!"
- 23: Clear Movies
- A fake comment from "Fleelfmeister471" most of the way in the video berating the overuse of this gag.
- A fan later actually made the account "Fleelfmeister471" just to leave the exact comment seen in the video.
- "You'll notice that the moveset of each fighter is the same as Kirby's, so those fighting techniques you've been polishing will NOT. EVEN. come in handy on the Wii U Version!
- "I should mention that the probability of multiplayer is a bit less than zero."
- "If you touch one of these areas with over 100% damage, you will be O! K!" (Cue picture of Sheik holding her hand in an "OK" sign)
- "You can also play during battles."
- "We're bringing back clones! You'll notice that the moveset of each fighter is the same." *Cue picture of Dr. Mario, Lucina, Dark Pit, Ganondorf, Falco, Roy, Young Link, Pichu, and Lucas*
- "...and finally, the Nintendo Wii U Classic GameCube Controller Remote Pad-chuck Plus Pro!"
- "I don't think this is a game for gamers, I think this is a game for posers!"
- "Relationships are about danger. Relationships are about hitting or hurting. If you or someone you know is in a relationship, get help." [Out-of-tone "The More You Know" Chime]
- The phone number during the commercial break that reads 1.800.LUCAS-NAO.
- Perhaps made even funnier when Lucas was announced as a DLC character for the game in April of 2015.
- "In the 3DS version, you were able to choose from all the fighters in the game. For the Wii U version, we are introducing a different mode called 'Go And Take A Shower!'" (please)
- "By the way, we've made it so you can never play Classic Mode! We are introducing Sick Mode!"
- "Once an amiibo figure has been scanned, your fighter can pee! OH YEAH!"
- "You can also help them grow by feeding them P.F. Chang's!
- "I hope you're excited for Team Fortress 2!" "Nope." "Pyros!" "Nope."
- A brief moment of the announcer Talking to Themself:
Two clips of the announcer, in unison: "Nintendo GameCube controller!"One clip by itself: "Jinx! LOL!"- The most interesting thing you can do with the Game Pad in Smash Brothers IS real life.
- "There are a number of new features and modes that the Wii U and 3-U version share, including:"
- "Battles!"
- "Battles!"
- "Battling and battling with Chuck!"
- "Battling is more difficult than ever."
- "Super Soup Brothers for Wii U will never be released in North America, ever."
- 23: Ballin', with Chad Warden
- The Super Smash Bros Hype Train Derailment: The Soup Or Smash Bros Spiritual Successor:
- "The announcer looks like THIS◊!!"
Etika: WHAT?!?Omni: Wow...Arnold: "OH MY GAHHHHHHHHHHHH"Kid: "I can't believe this".Etika: "#Sexy As Fuuf!"- "The Smash Bros. Warrior knows no nose... the Smams Warrior knows no ear... the Smash Brother knows no feet..."
- Etika's excitement over the confirmation of Mom, Lucy, Captain Shrek, Mark, and especially "The Female" in Smash.
Etika: "GASP! IT'S MOM! IT'S MOOOM!!" (spazzes out)- "P-POOOOOWWWOOOOPPPPP!!!"note
- "Boys! Heeh-heheh." (long beat as the three confused kids stare ahead)
- "Hand over the PCP." "What? No!" "Hand over the pee." "What? No!" "Settle It In Smash!!!" "Uh..." "No!"
- "Sometime around when this video gets dropped..." (the clip suddenly drops out of sight)
- "5 months! That's only 5 monks!. Ooweoo!"
- "Oh my gosh! Dittos everywhere!" (Dittos fill the screen.)
- "I really hope Sakurai nerfs him." (Masahiro Sakurai shows up out of nowhere and shoots Omni with a Nerf gun.)
Second Omni: "Hooray! Sakurai nerfed him!"- "We were already more divided than we were with bras, and it's worse, cause it's not even like two sides! It's like, bras on or bras off..."
- "Like am I a psychic Pokemon?" (Transforms into a Ralts) "Or am I a Metagross?" (turns into a Metagross) "Like am I Ashley?" (becomes Ashley) "No I'm not."
- "I don't think." (jumps off his seat and starts screaming)
- "Taaaaaake ooooooooon MII on Nintendo MiiDS.
- The poorly drawn, colored, and spelled drawing of "jipan".
Masahiro Sakurai: "I'm here." - Steaming Pile of Crepe
- The Cracklin' Oats commercial, being a Cluster F-Bomb, is reversed as a "fuuf."
- Nesssss!
- I once found the lost city of Cracklin' Oats Sauce. Turns out it was El Dorado.
- Thank you, milord.
- So when my mom said, "bed!" all I could hear was "bed!"
- "/Sigh/ God, this is the...the worst...channel?" SICK BURN
- Yeah, because you...you just feed people...
- The Overly Long Gag where she just messes around with the Yu-Gi-Oh opening.
- Etika reacting to Etika reacting to DaThings' Etika YouTube Poop. And the first Etika represents DaThings herself.
- {うんち} ヌン [| Mitsune Haku |] しょうゆ (Which translated reads { Poo } Nun [| Mitsune Haku|] soy sauce)
- "I'm Scott, President of Ska."
- "A grape."
- "Have some fun with me!"
- "I knew our talented Domino's Pizza crew could choke Yoshi.
- "You like pizza. Have you heard of Pizza Hut's stuffed crust pizza? It's so much better than Domino's Pizza."
- "Once your pizza's delivered, have some f[Beep]ing pizza!"
- "Hello everyone, I'm Einstein."
- Gamelon 2A
- "Ganonanonanonanonanonanonanon...(Cut to king Harkinian, looking quite unamused)
- "I guess I better get Gohma! You're pretty boy you're doing real well done, Link! Ganon and his minions have sEVIL. You must captures Koridians?"
- "I just wonder what GANON!!!"
- "Wow, tha-a-a-a-a-a-a-ank-ank-anks-ks-ks!"
- "Bombs, you have enough rubies, my friend, as yours long as. You want it? It's. *Beat* ...sss. * another Beat* ...sss."
- "Join me Link, and I will make, and make your face the grrreatest face in KoriDIIIIE, and I will make your face DIIIIE, and I will DIIIIE, and I will die, or else you will make your face the grrreatest DIIIIE! Or else you will *suddenly with Zelda DIIIIE!"
- "Ganon is once aganon is once again Ganon. I'm going to Ganon. I'm going to Ganon. I'm going to Gamelon to Gamelon to GAmelon to Ganon. I'm gAnon."
- "Don't forget, I can only open the crouch when I'm pouching! *Beat* Don't forget!"
- *Gwonam files in* "Yo."
- Link: Gwonam and Impa are my OTP. It sure is my headcanon.
- Second Serving of Crepe, a sort-of sequel to "Steaming Pile Of Crepe" (and thus consisting of un-used YTP material):
- The entire Nancy Drew segment, consisting of gags from the Game Grumps playthrough. Doubles as a Moment of Awesome that Ellie was able to splice the dialogue together like that.
- "Give me the beat boys and give me the boys, give me The Beach Boys, give me the Beastie Boys, give me The Bee Gees, give me The Beatles, give me the beach ball, give me the bees, give me the beat boys and free my sos...
- "Magic's Biggest Magic Show That Magicians Secretly Want You To See Finally Revealed"
- "The magician is about to stare death in the face in the form of The French Revolution. Remember, the magician is a world class professional, don't try any of this danger-" (guillotine seemingly actually chops off the magician's head) "OH SH-" (color bars)
- "How to Chase a Picture"
- "I'm Jen from JenJenJenJenJen.com" (Jen Jenner, Jr. Jeditor, Jeneologist)
- "Activate your phone's camera and get ready to start." [An error occurred] "It can take up to three-to-five business days."
- Plus the fact that "Dating Start!" plays in the background of this scene.
- "You don't have to stand in lions."
- "Here's what you'll need to start using Chase Fake Deposit; first, quit using Chase. The second step is third, download either iPhone or Android phone. Either Apple or Android device will suffice."
- "Finally, start using Chase Quick Deposit, and get ready to start."
- "The box shown on the screen. It's green."
- "Now that you have the Tap app installed..." [cue home screen with Postman Tap app on it]
- "When you're Eddy..."
- "Once the funds are clear, you can securely dispose of your smartphone."
- "Fire Blep" (re-upload) (Note: Mild spoilers for the actual games may follow in this and the next YTP. The original versions of both videos can be found here.):
- Silas:
- Silas completely friendzones Corrin.
Silas: "I'm going to kiss you now."
(fade to black as Silas kisses Corrin)
Silas: "Ahh, it feels just like old man. I hope we can remain best friends forever."
("FRIEND ZONED" appears in big letters on the screen)
Silas: "Lol!" - Effie:"You're going to kiss me? Well...I might break you..."
- Arthur:
- The entirety of his segment, thanks to his hamminess.
- Dwyer:
- VelouriaVelouria: My life is full of treasure...oh, like that scrap of paper! This shiny ring, our army of dust bunnies, your butt.
Jon: WHAT?!Velouria: What? - Inigo:
- He introduces himself by talking about the FitnessGram Pacer Test.
"My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to kill my father. - Odin:
- His introductory caption reads: "I am an old man and a foof."
- "I will confess who I really am." "Here are the secrets" "I am your nightlight." (cut to Odin as a nightlight switching on and off in someone's bedroom) "I am on...I am off...on...off...on...off...surprise!"
- Selena
- Not only is her introductory text is rendered as glitchy gibberish, her portrait is the one she used in the previous game.
- "I've never said this before but... my real name is Se-verus Snape.
- Gunter:
- The opening caption shows Gunter swinging a cane and yelling: "You kids better get the lawn off my f-"
- The quote is actually typed in full, but anything past the Curse Cut Short is hard to see due to the text blending into the background.
- Anna:
- Anna appears saying "$1000 INSTANT CASH CLICK NOW DEALS NO DOWN PAYMENT FREE IPHONE WINNER."
- "My wares are second to nun!"
- Forrest:
- Forrest acting like a stereotypical Social Justice Warrior in his original intro (replaced in the DaThings Archives version), claiming he's identified as six impossible genders before breakfast.
- "Let me know if you need any men dead. I'm skilled in Battleborn, but I'm superlative in Overwatch!" (Cut to Reaper with Forrest's voice and hat) "Die! Die! Die!"
- "You and I are Roy. You and I are royal blue most of all. You and I are naked."
- Charlotte:
- Charlotte burping.
- Ophelia:
- She appears with Lissa's body.
- "But what I value above all elsenote is the sight of your grandmother, who was the very portrait of beauty and charm..."
- "Our love is so powerful IT CAN BLOCK B.O. FOR 16 HOURS! YEE! Our love is soap. I will use it when I achieve service." (Ophelia turns to look at a phone but gets no service.)
- Jakob:
- "You are an egg. I couldn't ask for butter."
- Camilla:
- Her name in the caption box has been replaced by "Boobs", with her dialogue being "*important thing* *foreshadowing* *key dialogue* *plot point*," and when the scene cuts to Camilla herself:
Camilla: Do me a favor. Close your eyes.
(The scene fades to black as the camera starts to pan down to her chest, to the audible displeasure of an unseen mostly male audience) - Nyx:
- Nyx is dressed like a Christmas tree. "(screams internally)" should sum up her thoughts well.
- Benny:"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"
- Leo:
- Leo's futile attempts to kiss Corrin.
- Siegbert:"I want to punch my hair in the face."
- Kana (Male and Female):
- Female Kana tries to compliment Corrin, but Male Kana repeats everything she says. It reaches quite a zenith.
F!Kana: Mom, he's mimicking me!
- Silas:
- ""Fire Mlem" (re-upload)"
- Saizo:
- *caw* *caw*
- Saizo's mask renders him The Unintelligible.
- Azama:
- "I'm sorry that you're totally wrong about everything." (cue MLG style breakdown)
- Mitama:
- Her name is labeled as "Miitomo," and her portrait replaces her notepad with a cell phone.
- Mitama recites her best haiku.
"A-a-hem, Haiku!/I adore with all my heart/Fre shavocado!" - Kaden:
- Kaden appears with his ears and tail edited out and offers to show something to Corrin as long as they don't laugh. The music playing, "As All Stars Fall," implies something serious. Then, Kaden appears with his ears and tail intact. Just before Kaden gets a word out, Corrin leaves.
- Mozu:
- Mozu being introduced and walking off-screen.
- Mozu spends her entire screentime swearing like a sailor:
"I never f—-ing thought I'd have a f—-king family again! I f—-ing love you!"
(color bars)
Dathings1: (from channel trailer) "I try to make my videos clean..." - Scarlet:
- "I've got my eye on you. I like the way you f-" (cut to "Technical difficulties screen featuring flustered Marth and Lucina) "-ight." Even better, this happens immediately after Mozu's segment.
- Kaze:
- "As King Garon's prisoner, I was prepared to die for my cause-E. Aaaiaa-aaaiaa-aaaiaa-aaaiaa."
- "My life finally has memes...now that you're my waifu." (begins looking at memes on Corrin/Kamui's phone) "Lol, nice meme...OMG, I love memes...this meme makes me feel...dank...a dangerous emotion for a ninja."
- Orochi:
- Orochi states there's a time for work, and a time for twerk. Just after we see twerking...
Tony the Talking Clock: There's a time and a place for mucking around!Duck Guy: Like biiiiiiiii- *cue Orochi's hair pins moving like a clock* - Asugi:Asugi: "Sorry, lost in thought about how I gotta get some sweet treats. ''Snacks...cupcakes...candy...chocolate...sugar-"
Wilford Brimley: "Asugi, I'm Wilford Brimley and I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes about diabeetus."
Asugi: "I'm not even going to eat any-"
Wilford Brimley: "I don't care. I truly don't." - Hinoka:
- She's replaced by Sully in her introductory picture and the caption reads: "Randall's your monster. You think he's going to come out of the closet and scare you?"
- "I started training so I could rescue The Rescuers. Now, I train to protect trains we've had." "It's great to see how well you've matured...you turd."
- Reina:
- Reina wanting to play Fight Danger Battle Combat, a game for the PSTriple rated EC for early childhood.
- Rhajat:
- Rhajat is caught sucking her thumb. "What are you looking at? This is perfectly normal for a college-aged person to do."
Hectan: You've killed me!Rhajat: Good.- Crosses with Nightmare Fuel, Rhajat's rendition of EA Games' slogan.
- Hinata:
- Hinata appears with two additional arms sprouting from his head, and his quote is simply "Sample Text."
- Sakura:
- Sakurai: Unfortunately, the female character will not be participating in this YouTube Poop.
- Sakura's segment was cut from the DaThings Archive version, arguably making this joke Hilarious in Hindsight.
- Sakura states the viewer is the only Jewish person she's comfortable around. When she gets called out for her racism, she starts swelling up, ready to burst into tears.
- Midori:
- Her introduction gets trippy fast.
- Ryoma:
- Ryoma is glad to spend time with Corrin, but then Adele turns up out of the blue uninvited. Needless to say, Ryoma doesn't take this well.
Ryoma: Ryuu ga waga teki wo kurau! Fool. - Caeldori:"I see you have a little bruise there. Make sure to git gud." *cue MLG glasses*
- Yukimura:
- Yukimura rage-quitting a memory game.
- Oboro:
- Oboro wonders how Corrin would look in her parent's tomb. She immediately pulls her devil face.
- Shigure:
- Shigure requests that Corrin stop inviting him, because it's too much fun. The very next day, Shigure vanishes out of existence from having too much fun.
- The stingers to both videos.
- Saizo:
- Crepes 3 (Censored reupload here.)
- "1972: Atari introduces one of the 1971st ever video games with SaS into the world."
- "1970: Atari introduces the world."
- "197C: Atari introduces juices."
- "Fast forward to now: 1972. Atari introduces—" "THE COMPUTER! (Beat) Kill yourself."
- "You is dead. A-a-and when I say dead, I don't mean just like dead. A-a-a-a-A"
- "But Nintendo has gone on the record saying 'Wii, are not making any more games.' Th-th-th-th-th-th-they said that even before the Switch came out. Like, before the Switch came out. Like, before the Switch came out. Like, before the Switch was even out. They were like, 'we're (cut to different video) done. I-I'm just… I'm (cut back to original video) done' and, uh, it is very weird."
- "Sauce and what-not." (THE END)
- "Hey guys, Si es yo!"
- "Reese's here."
- "No, I have not yet finished assembling the SkiFree collab. But don't worry, that's finished." [cue badly-drawn thumbnail] "100% sad."
- "I wanna do more poops of myself, I wanna do more poops, literally. I'm going to be creating a party tent. 10/10 tent, I could attend." (-Si Es Juan 188)
- "I bought myself." [color bars] "I bought myself a new selfie stick." [color bars] "I bought myself a new date."
- "1972: Atari introduces one of the 1971st ever video games with SaS into the world."
- Eccentric Severe Tumors
- "When we talk about customer service, most of us think of customer service. But there's more to it than customers. There's service."
- "When we talk about customer service, most of us think of ants. Ants!"
- "When we talk about customer service, [suddenly in Hell] this is probably the first place that comes to mind.
- The title for this poop is quite weird. Word Salad Title, right? Nope! It's an anagram of "Customer Service Center", which we see when the sign first appears!
- "I couldn't find any circular circles on display."
- "(while repeatedly walking forward and backward in a loop) Anyhow, I hope I can get In-N-Out quickly without too much hassle."Woman: (looks down; sees she stepped in jelly) Oh, great. Hassle. (walks backwards out of the shot)
- Adventures at the deli counter.
Cashier: Number seven!
Costomer: Right here!
Cashier: Oh, uh... Number eight.
Customer: What?- "Here you go sir. Actually, we ran out."
- "What?"
- A customer wants to know, after seeing a six pack of pork chops, if she can get a smaller package of pork chops. As soon as the deli employee says she can, the customer dejectedly leaves.Customer: (sad) Nevermind.
- "Notice that the employees stop what they're doing."Customer: Excuse me, could you help me?
(employee stops moving entirely) - "Look directly at the customers, then they take the customers, and gag the customers."
- "I have this stork."
- One woman attempts to get paper towels.Customer: (as she and the employee walk down the aisle) Paper towels, paper towels, paper taper taper towels.Employee: (is standing next to the paper towels) We seem to be out of them right now.
- The employee then states he'll go look in the bathroom, and then transparently resumes stocking the shelves.
- And then the employee brings over the manager, while the customer is still next to the paper towels.
- And finally, the customer instead offers to watch Paper Towns with the employee, which he is more than happy to do:Q: (as Margo enters through the window) What the- Margo?Margo: I need to borrow your car.Q: What?Q: What?Margo: I need to corrow your bar.Margo: I have nine cars I needed to borrow tonight.Q: Can't you just get a boyfriend?
- "Upon entering the store, many of our customers will want to leave the store."
- "We don't want our customers to be inconvenienced by entering the store. We don't want our customers. Remove them as soon as your work is done."
- The presenter's advice to simply refuse the customer is immediately contradicted when a customer wants to bag their own groceries:Customer: I'd like to bag these myself today.Presenter: You bet he will. And not just because the ham he bought was hammy, but because the customer service he recieved was the best.Grocer: Oh, you want me to bag these?
- "Next, the L. Take the L without debate."
- (Customer becomes Navi) Hey listen! (Narrator becomes Midna, starts talking backwards.)
- One customer, after complaining rather aggressively about the milk she bought, confesses her love for the customer service employee.
Customer: I'll be honest with you, I love your produce department.
Employee: Oh, you! Thanks for shopping with us!
Customer: I'll be honest with you, I love you. I love your smile. I love your eyes. I love your voice. That's why I shop here.
Employee: Could you come back in a half an hour?- In general, just the sheer contrast in how the employees are treated in this poop compared to the Wow! It's Made! series. They're completely allowed, no, encouraged, to treat the customers like shit.
- "When we talk about customer service, most of us think of customer service. But there's more to it than customers. There's service."
- Eccentric Severe 2mors
- Continuing the last video, the source title of "Think to Prevent Shrink" is rearranged into "The Vent Honk Rink Strip."
- "Exactly who the f**k is Steve Jobs ?"
- "In the meantime however, it's Mean Time!" (pickle jar breaks) "Smooth move, ex lax!"
- "OK- You're Winner!"
- The outro mashup of "Movin' Out (Anthony's Song)" and "You Oughta Know".
- How to Food
- To give you an idea of what to expect, here's the first minute of the video in its entirety.Jon Locke: The only ingredients: gluten, yeast, salt, water, saltwater, lukewarm water, Jonathan-warm water, baking powder, baking soda, baking water, molasses, vanilla, nutmeg, cinnamon, sugar, powdered sugar, brown sugar, brown water, dark chocolate chips, buttermilk, eggs, rolled oats, oil and vinegar- again, oil and vinegar- vegetable oil, olive oil, canola oil, The Egg, cheese, olives, cucumbers, tomatoes, raw onions, real olives, parsley, thyme, flour (not always), chips, toast, soda, batter, food (the magic ingredient), carbon dioxide, a sponge, a living plant, cubes, emotion, Skillet, a sharp knife, rust, a good wrist, your fingers, your local dentist, a family of four not-so-hungry people, and syrup on the side. (long pause) Or... Waste product, if you want a really kinky muffin.
- "(painfully slow stirring for 11 seconds) And there you go. (cut to a cooked loaf of bread) Ze typical French bread!"
- Chapter 39: Hold On, I'm Confoodsed
- Apparently, chefs on television refer to French bread as "Frerf Bread".Jon Locke: (chuckles) Yeet!
- "And as we go, we'll talk about some of the characters that are common to all cartoons."
- "And the carbon dioxide gets trapped. (Admiral Ackbar appears in the mixing bowl) It's a- (whispers) Fill in the blank."
- "And this is not lukewarm, this is luke-cold."
- "Actually, you don't have to use yeast. (hard cut to next segment)"
- One of the names of the salad that is being prepared? "The Village People"Jon Locke: (pounds an olive to the riff from "YMCA")Village People: It's fun to stay at the! (swarm of Village People move across the bottom of the screen) Wooooooooooooooooow!
- "This is called the Salad Salad, and the ingredients are gluten, yeast, salt, water, saltwater—" [color bars]
- "There are easy ways to cut the cheese. (pointedly looks to the camera) Don't do that."
- "This is feta cheese. Feta is a cheese. It is, but it doesn't have to be."
- While sprinkling on some vinegar, the bottle tries to clarify that it's actually Mediterranean salad dressing, only to get shushed by Chef Jon.
- As it turns out, Greek resturants do not actually serve Greek salad.
- We then go over knife safetly, during which Chef Jon just starts shit-talking the viewer.Jon Locke: (holds up a carrot and knife) You cut through and you miss your thumb. Now, if for instance you were stupid, you will go into your thumb. One of the problems, of course, is that... you're actually much more dull. (is holding a different knife) I'm not. You don't have that luxury. This is the way that it is. You just don't measure up. But, I forgive you for it.
- "(opens microwave) This is a fairly typical example of nothing."
- "We're gonna pre-heat the oven. (chuckles) Actually, we're gonna preet the oven. ... I hate the oven."
- "Hey all you boys and girls and YouTubers out there..."Jon Locke: Ah yes. The three genders.
- "Oh no! It's food. Nobody has to know... (leaves the kitchen)"
- To give you an idea of what to expect, here's the first minute of the video in its entirety.
- What to Food
- Among the other questions that "What to Food" will supposedly answer are "Where to buy 'Baking Pop'?", "Cubed or crushed parsley?", and "Why is my food breathing?"
- Right from the get go, Chef Jonathan Lonathan states that you have witnessed failure in the kitchen if you have ever stepped into a kitchen, before demanding you take some of his chocolate cupcakes.
- "I want to pause here. (long pause) Wait. (long pause)"
- The four essential measuring tools in the kitchen are as follows: Timers (to measure time), thermometers (to measure thermomets), mometers (to measure Moms), and measuring containers (to measure measurements).
- "There are three gallons in a mile- Uh, wait..."
- "YOU'VE RUINED YOUR DINNER."
- "Cups don't work."
- Despite the recipe calling for 400°, Chef Jon purposefully sets it for 325° "[b]ecause [he's] a fabulous chef".
- Where to Food
- During a list of different kinds of saladsnote , chef Jonathan Lonathan points out something.
- "And as we go, we'll talk about bread, which is also food."
- "By the way, do you know how to tell if a pear is ripe?"(Jonathan punches the pear)Jonathan: There, it's ripe.
- "First, we're going to make a rain salad, which is probably the most taboo salad of the Middle East."
- Rain Salad is apparently known as something extremely vulgar, to the point that when Chef Jonathan says its proper name out loud, it's censored.Chef Jon: If you'll excuse the word.
- Even the video editor doesn't want people using the real name of Rain Salad.Please just call it Rain Salad there's literally no reason not to, for the love of God just please
- So, what even is rain salad? It's water.Firecat1311: "rain salad" being just water caught me so off guard, and it really shouldn't have. I mean, what else could it have been?
- Rain Salad is apparently known as something extremely vulgar, to the point that when Chef Jonathan says its proper name out loud, it's censored.
- "[Salads] all have a base. For instance, the base on this salad is me- you notice that I'm based?"
- "Get in the pesto. Get in the pesto. Get in the pesto."Chef Jonathan: When you talk about pesto, you're talking about a paste-o. We don't talk about pesto, no, no, no.
- "Cheese is stored in the- ...I'm not gonna say it."
- Chef Jonathan educates the audience on how to deal with their family:Chef Jonathan: If there's going to be too much of something, it should be relatives. They're together a lot but they don't like each other that much. There are easy ways to prevent this. One is to take out the ribs.(Jonathan punches something off-screen, causing an audible crunch)Chef Jonathan: Presumably you've washed them before hand?
- Why do you want to avoid using your hands when handling jalapeños? "[B]ecause that chemical will get jal-ap-eñ-o fingernails and it will really hurt."
- You don't need to wash your hands if they are covered with flour, as flour already has water in it.
- "And this is not necessary." (video rewinds a segment)
- "Now, if you're doing this with plain yogurt, you can get a very nice Flayn yogurt."
- When to Food
- "Alright, I confess, I'm using a pancake."
- "And then, right next to that, we have this amazing contraption called 'a waffle'."
- "WHOOOPS! You have to put!"
- "One of the sleeziest breakfasts in the world to make is a simple scrambled egg."
- Not only is the audience told that they should not be cooked (as they would taste terrible), but they also should not be served.Chef Jonathan: You can buy a really fancy breakfast, or make a sandwhich, rather than eggs.
- Another option you have rather than make eggs is do a Reddit AMAnote :Chef Jonathan: "IAmA handmaid. AMA."
- Not only is the audience told that they should not be cooked (as they would taste terrible), but they also should not be served.
- One of the methods Chef Jonathan shows for cooking am omelette trips the smoke alarm.Chef Jonathan: (over the sound of the fire alarm and distant fire trucks; franticly stirring the pan) Around and around 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round 'n 'round and around-
- "(holding a burrito with his face) I'm feeling a little burritoish."Burrito!Jonathan: (as Chef Jonathan takes a bite) Oh no-!
- Chef Jonathan puts off making a smoothie because he knows his mom's going to call him today. And sure enough:Chef Jonathan: (ringtone; answers phone) Y'ello?Mom: (over the phone) Hey, sweetie, how's cooking? (long cigarette drag)Chef Jonathan: (chuckles; Mom coughs) You hear that, she's smoking already...
- Why To Food
- "Did you know that last year, 5,000 people died from a food-borne illness? Wow, way to prevent food-borne illness, everyone."
- Fresh Avocado
- "Avocados are virtually the only fruit."
- Onions
- "In addition to just eating it, you can make chili spaghetti taste a little (Mmm...) richer!"
- Black Beans
- "Black beans are one of the coolest foods all throughout the Carib-Bean."
- Butternut Squash
- "Butternut squash? Yes, please."
- "They help protect against colon, breast, and other organs."
- The Troops of Alexander the Great
- "Did you know that Alexander the Great ordered his troops to eat themselves?"
- Cantaloupe
- "Can't elope."
- Blueberries
- Chef Jonathan Lonathan's poem about blueberries.
Blueberries, blueberries,Snarf snarf snarfCold, cold blueberriesIn one ordinary scarfOver that frozen harbor,blueberries falling from the skyKill, kill, blueberriesYou can make sure they all die. - Salmon
- "Did you know that a two-pound and a forty-pound salmon have exactly the same weight?"
Limmy: What do you mean?Chef Jonathan: They're both salmon.Chef Jonathan: Huh, I know, but both of those are salmon.
- Whether to Food
- Chef Jonathan opens the video by saying they're making an adaptation of "It's a Wonderful Knife", prompting the producer to stop productionnote :Producer: Cut.Chef Jonathan: (annoyed) I beg your pardon?Producer: "Once in a Knifetime."Chef Jonathan: (eyebrow raised) ... What?Producer: It's not "It's a Wonderful Knife". "Once in a Knifetime" is what's being adapted.Chef Jonathan: From the top, then.
- "Now, remember this jelly donut, because you can never go back."
- During the section about zuchinnis, it comes to light that the zuchinni Chef Jonathan was given to cook with is actually the only dangerous zuchinni. As such, rather than use it, he puts it in the microwave and hits the "Reset" button.
- The audience is openly recommended to cut off their fingers.
- "All knifes have fingers. But we don't need to talk about that right now."
- Microwaves "just don't work", and as such the viewer is recommended to just get rid of theirs:Chef Jonathan: They only cost five cents. Throw it away and get another one!
- "Remember Egg? This is Egg now. Feel old yet?"Egg: (is put on the table; with Chef Jonathan's face) Am I still in the refridgerator?
- That's not the only case of animated food; in the next segment, Chef Jonathan brings to life half a grilled cheese sandwhich just because he thought it was cool.
- In order to educate the audience about some of the common mistakes to tea consumption, we are shown a video of a man in a car violently and repeatedly choking on boba tea.note Man: AAH! Okay! I am so excited to show you my new favorite tea! (takes sip; immediately chokes) I had it today! (chokes again)
- "I'm from Texas, y'all!"
- "(chokes) Bu-uB! (chokes while screaming)"
- At two separate points, Chef Johnathan openly wishes harm upon to the audience over their refusal to learn things:
- Every resturant requires every cook to wash their teeth "every six months or so".Chef Jonathan: ...believe me? Well, if you don't... (holds up a fist to the camera) Square up, slick.
- After showing the tea segment, Chef Jonathan says that actually happened.Chef Jonathan: ...kay? If you don't believe me? Burn yourself on a hot pan.
- The producer then stops production to call him out, prompting Chef Jonathan to say it doesn't count as a threat if someone actually does burn themselves.
- Every resturant requires every cook to wash their teeth "every six months or so".
- In order to cook some raw broccoli (rawccoli), Chef Jonathan puts it in the microwave:Chef Jonathan: (beep!) Oh no! I hit the "Reset" button by mistake.(Chef Jonathan opens the microwave; it's gone)Chef Jonathan: (to the camera; awkwardly) Well... ...
- A segment on cutting bread is abruptly skipped over due to the audience already knowing how to.
- Likewise, Chef Jonathan opts to not even cover how to sharpen knives, as it "could be a whole video in and of itself".
- "I hate to do this, but it's time to learn how to cook steak in microwaves. Sorry."Producer: Cut. We're not doing that.Chef Jonathan: You know what? That's fair.Chef Jonathan: Please don't be scared. Everything is normal.
- The final segment of the video sees Chef Jonathan abruptly start doing his music demo, which the producer abruptly ends:Guy: (over a rap beat) Where it's at.Chef Jonathan: Two turntables and a microphoneGuy: That's where it's at.Chef Jonathan: I got two turntables and a microphone
- "The only thing we have to food is food itself. There, I said it. Thanks for watching."
- Chef Jonathan opens the video by saying they're making an adaptation of "It's a Wonderful Knife", prompting the producer to stop productionnote :
- The Trains Agenda
- "James was feeling himself. James pleased himself. James was feeling feelings. It was Feels Time."
- Sam explains what Canadians are like.Sam Childberger, "Child": Um, he talks like a Canadian, like (gibberish of random syllables) and he's from Canadia.
- Bidin'
- "I'd gotten shot. Ouchie. It hurted."
- At a certain point, Biden is slightly transparent, forcing him to ask: "Um, DaThings? Please increase the opacity."
- "I'm sorry. I lost my job as President of the United States. Deuces." (he starts to walk away) "Sike. I'm back."
- "Over a year ago, 2014, we lost Waxonator. And we miss you."
- "We the people! Peep the weeple!"
- "I met a small business owner, a woman. Erica. Thighs for days!"
- Crunch'n Crunch's Crunchity Crunches
- "Crunch" is not going to sound like a real word anymore by the time you're done here.
- It wastes no time introducing our hero.
Narrator: It all started with the biggest and meanest and most evil adventurer alive today... none other than... Captain Crunk.
Captain Crunk: Hey. It's "Cap'n".
Narrator: My mistake. None other than... Cap'n Crunk.
Cap'n Crunk: It's "Crunch", big-shot!
Narrator: FINE. Cap'n Crunch.- The revelation that the Crunchlings' home of Crunchy City is made entirely of Crunchling bodies; something which even freaked out the Cap'n.
- The Crunch-Crunch thieves' real goal: to tell the Cap'n to stop making Cap'n Crunch cereal. Luckily he knew just what to do to repay this heinous act.
Narrator: They hadn't even seen that the Cap'n had a gun!
Cap'n Crunch: (over sounds of laser blasts and splashing) Die! Die! Die!
Narrator: This was serious. After several days of murder, the Cap'n knew it was time to shove off.
Cap'n Crunch: Hmm?
Narrator: ...time to shove the little Crunchlings off a ledge.
Cap'n Crunch: Okay, my cruddies, it's time to go back to wherever it is you came from!
(sounds of slapping, splashing, and Crunchlings whooping with glee)
Cap'n Crunch: I want you OUT! - "The Pantry Beers," a poop of The Country Bears.
- "AW NO! COUNTRY BEAR HALL HAS BEEN CRUSHED!"
- "Did you know that the Country Bears made the only country song ever?" "Wow, really?" "No."
- Dexter constantly being thumped on the head with a newspaper for increasingly flimsy reasons at the dinner table.
- "It's not unusual to feel-" "-loved by anyone!"
- "Hello, Reed. I thought you were Lou Reed." "Uh huh."
- "The Country Bears opened here for Lou Reed. Lou Reed opened here for Jimi Hendrix. And Jimi Hendrix opened here for Gohma. Ha Ha Ha. Place would be packed! Little Gohmas running everywhere! Eeverywhere! EeeE."
- While trying to figure out where Beary ran away to...:
Miss Barrington: His name is BearyReary.
Police Officers: Uh huh. B, R-
Miss Barrington: No, B, E, A, E, N, K, E, S. No E.- This hilarious little bit of satire...
Miss Barrington: A, C, A ,B.Police Officers: *Nod in agreement*- "What's that?" (billboard shows a clip of the same exact scene Beary and Big Al are currently in) "That's us."
- The gag is repeated later, using a clip from Us.
- Ted says: "Aw, I wanna die.", which causes the scene to turn into a Super Smash Bros. Stamina Battle wherein Fred takes out all of Ted's HP with one punch. "GAME!"
Beary: Well?
Fred: He's dead. Let's get outta here. - "Bob Ruten's Lethal Streethal System," a poop of a self-defense video.
- "Welcome to Bob Ruten's Lethal Streethal System"!
- "Bang! No I'm not!"
- "Hanky Friggin' Decemberweenus!"
- Homestar's attempts to buy Strong Bad a Decemberween present, including not only Deep Impact but Predator, the "Everybody! Everybody!" poster from the Homestar Runner Store, and Dedede.
- Pom Pom's bubbles being replaced by George Thoroughgood's "B-b-b-b" stutter from "Bad to the Bone".
- The supercut of Homestar going "ker-chick" and Marzipan clicking her pen eventually degenerates into clips of people going "ker-chick" from the Adventure Time episode "Blood Under the Skin", until Bubs gets annoyed and shouts "Shut up!"
- "Where's Strong Sad?" "On the moon." Cut to Strong Sad stranded on the moon.Strong Sad: Uh, hello? I'm right here!
- The Strong Bad No-Bot dancing to "Camelia" from Mad Rat Dead.Marzipan: These things just scream...
(Cut to the No-Bot with Strong Mad's mouth superimposed)
No-Bot: AAAAAAAH! - Strong Bad as the wizard from the "Pondering the Orb" meme. "Show the future, magic ball!"
- "Does anybody know if it is illegal to TAKE ME BY THE HAND or unethical to VOYAGE TO THE CORNER OF THE GLOBE?" "Uh, you got the wrong Ween, Homestar."
- "TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA GIRL SQUAD!" Featuring "Cheater" ("Has two forks!"), "Sos" ("Has two knives"), "Waow" ("Has one chopstick!"), and "The Ugly Wugly One" ("Has one clay cutter").
- Cheerleader trying to explain what a face is to What's Her Face.
- The end credits feature a mash-up of Mariah Carey's version of "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" and Mr. Poofer's theme song "Kansas Mash".I'm singing Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
But it's not Christmas at all
Cause it's Decemberween!
- Korb on the Kob, pooping Hades composer Darren Korb.
- Hello! I'm Darren. (strums 3 notes) Hello! I'm Darren Korb. (strums 3 slightly out of tune notes) And this is the Darren Chord. (plays the first chord of Never To Return)
- Now, we will start... at the beginning. So you're going to start... at the beginning. Okay, so, so we start... at the beginning.
- I like to say "Hades, uh, no, more like Hades nuts!"
- This is where it gets crades.note
- Rhett & Link introduces Good Mythical Morning after a sauce jokeRhett: Should we say "SuS"? Yes.Rhett: Should we say "SoS SeeS SeS SuS"?Link: Let's talk about that.
- After Good Mythical Morning is introduced, Darren tells the viewer to put a finger on Rhett. No, he meant Link.
- Win Those 95
- "Along the way, they meet a wacky propeller head, and are introduced to the Talking Heads."
- Q: What's Windows 95?
- "Let's look at buttons!"
- When Jennifer approaches a Big Red Button:
Jennifer: Okay, now what's that button—?Bernice: Stay away from that button!Bernice: Precisely.- Even more hilarious if you've seen the original source this is a poop of - near the end, Jennifer presses the button for no real reason, and all of the supporting characters are permanently stuck in Bill Gates' computer!
- "Look, Matty, I'm computing!" "Precisely."
- "Why don't we open up Hell?"
- Q: How connect internet?
- A: Windows 95 contains the internet. Therefore, if you have your system on your computer, you have three internets.
What if I have the oldest PC known to man?
* no, you don't. I got mine on day 1- Q: stop monitoring my computer
- A: no
Q: How much will it cost?
A: yes- "The Stuff Manager feature allows you to manage stuff."
- "Nobody's leaving until somebody's girl enough to play a little Joystick Pinball 3 with ol' Joystick Joyce!"
- "Yes, I think this kid might have to see about a possible starring role in Stranger Things."
- "Windows 95 contains the plums option in the Control Panel."
- Near the end, when Bernice deletes Matthew's "work of art":
Matthew: Okay, go ahead, destroy my art. It's my vision, you're destroying it.Bernice: (in a different voice) Precisely!- The Wii U Mii Maker music mixed with The Kids Guide to the Internet theme.
- "Now, let's get into my clothes... No, Bill's clothes."
- An unintentional one in The Stinger comes from Special Effects Failure on Ellie's part. The title bar of the "Let's look at butts!" window still says "Pets".note Just what are you planning on doing with Snake, Bill?
- "Michael's Roems"
- The intro consists of parodies of other YouTube Poopers' intros (Poops4TheWorld, VeryTallBart, GeibuChan, RootNegativeSixteen, and cs188), and Michael Rosen complaining about how DaThings is plagiarizing them. Of special note are the last two, where Michael gets into an argument with "DaThings's" avatar, and the parody Content Warning screen:PERENNIAL ADVASERY [sic]: FLOWER CONTENT
DISCLAIMER:
This is a parody/edit created for
comedic & artistic purposes,
and arguably contains humor.
No offense is intended toward
Michael Rosen or the YTPers
whose intros I copied for this bit.'' - "The Cafe", a re-telling of Hungry Pumkin.
- "Train't"
- "This bloke turned to me and said, 'You remind me of a syrup.' And I said, 'Um, what syrup?' 'Syrup of power.' 'What power?' 'The power of screw you, I don't know.'"
- "The Hypnotiser"
- "Me & My Brother Brian Rosen Who Was Born In 1942 And Whose IP Address Is (censored) And Whose Social Security Number Is (censored) Well Actually He's English Just Like Me So He Probably Doesn't Have One"
- Just as Michael is about to talk about how he and Brian did their taxes in excruciating detail, the timer cuts him off and he just moves on to the end credits.
- The Stinger, where Michael is shocked to find out he hasn't been featured in a DaThings YTP for "nine bl**dy years", then suddenly vents his frustrations about being censored.Michael: I don't believe it! I really don't believe it! I can't even say the word "bl**dy" around here. I think the whole "clean YTP" thing blows! Do we really need to have a riot over the words "bl**dy", "sh*t", "c*ck", "skyf***le", and... "strawberry ice cream"?
- Michael ends the video by saying "If you need me, I'll be in DaThings2", and sliding off-screen.
- The intro consists of parodies of other YouTube Poopers' intros (Poops4TheWorld, VeryTallBart, GeibuChan, RootNegativeSixteen, and cs188), and Michael Rosen complaining about how DaThings is plagiarizing them. Of special note are the last two, where Michael gets into an argument with "DaThings's" avatar, and the parody Content Warning screen:
- Wow! It's Greyed: Milk
- The narrator being surprised by the airspace heater assembly, welcoming it, showering it with praise, and saying that it's single. Does he have a crush on it?
- "The milk is brought to the deceiving room. So-called because it is filled with lies." Such as "milk is food".
- The list of rooms, which includes the bottilization room, the cold room, the old room, the utility room, the futility room, The Room (2003), and the operator sterilization room. The narrator clarifies that last one isn't to make the operator clean, it's to make sure the operator can't have children.
- The operator telling the viewer to test for contamination by touching the milk with their finger, which would surely contaminate the milk if it wasn't already.
- The advice singling out Lois. Because she's Lois, the Milk Killer, who can kill all the milk in the plant and even do so to the milk in your jacket pocket.
- "From now on, you're not just a failure, you are a power failure. Make a note of it."
- The narrator telling you to wear deodorant, to prevent reek. And then: "From now on, you're not just a power failure. You're a shower failure. Clean your dirty freaking hands too, bro."
- "This wash basin is first-basin' with your momma."
- "This pasteurization vat has three moms. It is chill, because every single one is a MILF."