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Funny / DaThings (Television YTP)

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  • Ernie calls Rubber Duckie Fat (link leads to the uncensored poop on the Wayback Machine)
    • Ernie rapidly and forcefully squeezing Rubber Duckie, accompanied by "AniMaL AbUsE!!" on screen.
    • Ernie: Arab! Arab! Arab! Hey, Rubber Duckie, would you like me to scrub your BUTT?
      Rubber Duckie (with Mario's head): No.
      Ernie: Would you like me to scrub YOUR FACE?
      Rubber Duckie (with Dr. Robotnik's head): NO!
      Ernie: Would you like me to scrub, scrub, scrub all the floors in Hyrule, scrub, scrub, scrub all the floors in Gamelon, scrub, scrub, scrub my ship in the morning, scrub, scrub, scrub my Wii?
      Rubber Duckie (with M. Bison's head): YES!
      Ernie: Oh. Okay. How's this?
      Rubber Duckie: IT BURNS!
      (Ernie makes an evil laugh)
    • Ernie: Rubber Duckie, you're so tubby and chubby!
      Rubber Duckie: Did you just call me fat?
  • "Prawn Srars" (original taken down; link goes to flipped re-upload to prevent further copyright infringement problems)
    • "On this episode of Soda Stars:"
      • "What have we got here?" "I have a sas—saass—sadaaasss—seddhledesse—"
      • (shown on the reupload): Seddhledesse: n. entity relating to a horseback seat, particularly as it pertains to Kovin Kestner (actor, "Dances with Svlolves".)
      • "—from Kevin Costner from Dances with Wolves. Dances with Saddles. Dances with Kevin Kostner. Dances with Saddles. Dances with Svloles."
    • "That's not my tattoo set. That's not my tattoo set."
    • "Circling, circling, circling—"
    • "We have a Cs188 rifle. This is a sick American rifle. The nun that won the nun well...."
      • And then Rick points the rifle to his forehead... BANG!!!! "And that's why we always check to see if they're loaded." (click) "LOL!"
      • The gunshot incident was also done again in a few minutes later. "This gun is the real deal. Now all I gotta do is test it...." BANG!!!!
    • "I'm Garrison, and this is my paunch. And this is my poncho. And this is my pawn shop." (cue picture of chess pawns)
    • "Every item here has a story, and a price, and a pawn shop, and an old man."
    • Dances with Wolves Saddle.
      • Owned by Kovin Kestner.
      • Used in the film Dances with Dancers.
      • Edible
    • "Earlilrae—early this morning a guy came out with a classic American rifle—" (pause) "I mean the guy came out with a saddle: bib—BIG money, so I called up my BIG buddy Mark."
      • "My name is Mark. [Beat] I'm an expert on Western AlieilA."
    • The entire powder and your ball sequence.
    • "Well, it's definitely a saddle."
    • "Do I want this gun? YESSSSSSSS. I mean, it's a nice gun, it's a nice gun, it's a nice gun—
    • "Everyone knows I'm into tattoos around here. I mean I got no brain."
    • "Mum, this guy wants to tattoo your chum!"
    • "I wanted to be a tattoo. But then, uh, something."

  • Prawn Srars Two

  • Hot Dogs, LSD and Hot Dogs
    • The title changes from "CASE STUDY: LSD" to "CASE STUDY: DSL", "EASY STUDS ON LSD", and "CASEY SAYS LOL".
    • "This guy I went to school with asked me if I want to try some acid, and I took off screaming down the street." *The End*
    • "I was pretty jacked up on sauce, so I decided to try it, and I dropped it. (sound of shattering glass)
    • "I don't know what I was doing, whatever. But I kept sitting there waiting, and waiting and waiting, and waiting and waiting, and waiting and I don't know what I was waiting, and waiting for, a flash or a rush. WOWOWOWOWWOW"
    • "I was very hung. And I had put mustard and ketchup and relish and ketchard and retchup and mulish the usual. I put the hotdog into my dog's mouth, and somebody started screaming..."
    • "I got the hotdog up to my mom. And I looked down on the hotdog and there was a hotdog." (girl goes terrified, vendor goes Nicolas Cage rageface)
    • "And I stood there with this hotdog and asked Terry, 'You know this hotdog?' And he says, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH""
    • "I realized I had murdered my friend Terry. Lol."
    • And I was jumping on this hotdog in the middle of Hotdog Street...

  • Postman Tap Delivers Fake Letters
    • "Postman Cat, Postman Cat, Postmaamtso-" (beep)
    • "Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat in Black and White!"
    • "He picks up his van..." followed by Tap lifting his van and throwing it as Mrs. Goggins watches through her window.
    • "Toastman Pat, Toastman Pat..."
    • "All the letters are fake, Tap feel he's a Postman!"
    Title Card: Pastman Pot
    Mrs Pottage: We've made cake.
    Postman Tap: It's my cake now! (Steals cake) Thank you very much!
    [extended Beat as Tap and Thompson look over their suspiciously identical-looking canes]
    Thompson: You should go.
    Tap: [as he returns to his van, which has a hammer and sickle emblazoned on its rear-end, cane in hand] Whatever.
    • "Granny Dryden was busy cooking poo. 'Gross,' said Tap."
    • "ERR AAH ERR"
    • *Tap flips off Miss Hubbard through her front window, then enters* "There was a glass of red wine waiting for Tap. 'Cheers!' She gave him a glass of Arsenic. Miss Hubbard drank and drank and drank-" (beep)
    • "She gave him a steering wheel covered in poo. 'That's just lovely.'"
    • "Lucy was on the lookout for Tap at the village school." *Lucy looks out for Tap with a sniper rifle. Tap rounds the corner of the schoolyard wall, a red dot between his eyes and...*
    SFX: BANG!
    • "Tap had presents for the children: A picture of him on a card each, and a piece of chalk."
    • "Tap was amazed. There was an article about him, headed: "WANTED: Postman Tap - Uuhyeahuh". It told all about his work, how he f**ked everyone, where he was born, and... his bounty. 'Well,' said Tap, 'Time to run away!'"
      The Article: WANTED: Postman Tap - Uhhyeahuh. Basically this guy goes around in a red van, delivers fake letters, and Trolls the community. We're thinking maybe we should do something about it. Also, he *** everyone. Most often against their will. That's kinda illegal. He was born in Battle Creek, MI. Not that it matters. Last I checked the areas of people's birth aren't enough to go on as far as catching criminals. BOUNTY: 15 frarfs
      • Tap's not the only fellow wanted in Greendale: There's a Freeze-Frame Bonus bit for a man named Garyrary.
        That Article: WANTED: Garyrary. Garyrary is veryrery scaryrary. He and larryrarry eat berrirerries on the ferryrerry. Be waryrary. We're thinking he's probably also a furryrurry.
      • Then, Underneath that part, there is a line that is mostly cut off by the side of the Screen, but it appears to be some thing along the lines of...
        That Article: "Not exactly sure how (you can read) this, since it's prob(ably covered). If somehow you c(an read this) point out the fact (you can,) you Lucky Dog! note 
    • "I'll show it to the wife. Heh, she will be pleased!"

  • Postman Tap 2: Double Tap.
    • "Postman Tap, Postman Tap, Postman Tap and his black and white BIRDS!!!"
    • "Letters through your black and white cat!" *a letter is flung at high speed at a cat sitting on the wall*
    • "It was another hot day in Green Day. A very hot day. Everything was hot. The village was hot. The van was hot. Tap was hot. Green Day was terrible!"
    • "Mrs. Goblins was trying to get cool."
    Tap (Driving by Mrs. Goblins in sunglasses and a Yankees cap): You suck!
    • "'They're going to turn the water off this morning!' 'I know,' said Tap. 'Hah, but they can't turn off the lemonade!'" *Gilligan Cut* "'They're going to turn off the lemonade! Whatever will we do? HaH! But they can't turn off the 🇬🇧 TEA."
    • "'Hey, don't forget Granny Dry-' 'I won't.'" *Tap leaves without Granny Dry's parcel, leaving Mrs. Goblins confused* "He met Granny Dryyyy and told him about his *** being cut off."
    • "It's a pity the old pump's not working. Wew, wewew. There were plenty of dry times in my young days-" "ERR AAH ERR"
    • "Tap, isn't this terrible! We haven't got a drop of water left!" "Cool, whatever."
    • According to Ted's handyman song, everyone in town has a comical amount of broken frying pans and other broken items that rhyme with "pan".
    • Ted Glen sings "Mary Had A Little Lamb," ending his bit by saying "Dedede!" That clay figure of King Dedede's pretty cute, too...
    • The dubstep section.
    Peter Farm: I wonder if I can fish it out with this sook! [Beat] Ah, got it!
    Tap: At least I didn't drop this! (Cue bass drop)
    • Granny Dryyyy opening a parcel containing a nude picture of Tap.
    • "At least I didn't drop this!" *cue dubstep remix of the theme song, complete with the Tap edit*
    • Granny Dry is always watching.

  • Postman Tap 3: Tapped Out
    • The theme song blending into the intro to Rawhide. In Black and White!
    • Tap finding a Lotad inside a post box.
    • "Just as Jess is mourning, he picks up the letters through your door!" (Pat Steals all the mail with a rope through the mail slot.)
    • "Yes, I'll ask our postman to dash over and tell the Rev-" *Mrs Goblins looks over and sees that Tap has already left* "Never mind."
    • "Postman Cat! Postman Cat! Postman Cat!" Which Tap interrupts by calling out Jess who stole his hat for thinking he is "Postman Jess or something!"
    • Tap gets a booty call from SaraWho?, and displays a rare shred of sanity for about two seconds before instantly running headfirst into some action.
    Sara: oy
    Sara: come over
    Tap: I'm afraid not.
    Tap: Doing me rounds for the post.
    Sara: parents are off on holiday
    Narrator: Tap rushed out without any breakfast.
    • "Jess, you're gonna see some pretty hot driving now!" (The van drives by the camera, windows censored.)
    • After Tap's van breaks down and is on fire, his declaration is immediately set to song.
      Tap: There's only one thing for it, Jess. We'll have to walk. I'll try anything once!
      [Music] Postman Tap, Postman Tap ♪ / Postman Tap will try anything once ♪
    • Tap trying his best to catch up to the Reverend without his van.
      • "I'm trying to catch up with the Reverend. Jess, have you seen him?" "MEOW.*"
      • Mrs. Hubbard: You can bicycle.
        Tap: Thanks Mrs. Hubbard. I'll try anything once!
        French Narrator: ONCE...
        Cut to Tap, just having crashed into Ted Glen's workshop.
        Ted: Hello, Tap! (laughs) You alright?
        Tap: No.
        Ted: (laughs) Whatever!
    • Tap arriving at Alf's house for another fight, accompanied by ominous music.
      Alf [at the top of a ladder, seeing Tap's van]: Oh, no...
      Tap [exiting the van]: Morning, Alf!
      Alf: Go away!
      Tap [approaching]: Hang on, got some letters for you.
      Alf: Just leave, Tap!
      Tap: Come on, just a few bills.
      Alf: What are you doing?
      Tap shakes the ladder wildly as Alf wobbles about at the top.
      Tap: Oh, it's not your day today, is it?
      Alf: I said go away!
      Tap: Sorry Alf, there's nothing for it.
      Alf screams and falls off the ladder.
    • Tap, unable to get control of the roller skates lent to him by Ted, goes downhill, grabs and swings around a road sign to slingshot himself back up the hill, only to lose momentum halfway.
    Tap: ...Sh*t!
    • "I thought I saw Tap die!"
    • Tap finally catching up to Sam and the reverend.
    Narrator: Sam told all about how he was giving the reverend a punishment.
    Reverend: Lord bless us!
    Tap: Uh...
    Narrator: It was a special birthday punishment.
    Tap: UHM.
    Narrator: It was a leather-bound punishment.
    Tap: UHH AHH UHH (Falls off)
    Reverend: Oh...
    Tap: (gets up, smiles) I said I'd try anything once!
    • "Dear me, what have you been up today?" *said very casually to Alf's corpse*

  • Postman Tap 4: Love Tap
    • "Tap feels really, really crappy, guys"
    • "Lucy asked Tap if he was good at Roblox, because they'd just gotten Find Everything."
    • Tap keeps obsessively singing while washing the front of the van.
    • "Don't drop the letters!" *Charlie immediately drops the letters* "'Oof,' said Tap."
    • "Fellas, is is gay for a postman to stop?" *Tap runs Ted over*
    • A chicken takes a sandwich out of a container and violently shakes it around.
    • *After Tap washes the front of the van for the umpteenth time* "Tap was back on his bullsh*t"
    • Jess, for whatever reason, thinks Mrs Thompson wants to eat him.
    • How does Tap try to end a conversation with Mrs Thompson? Every single way he can think of.
    Tap: Yes, right, whatever, thank you, cool, very good, cheers, goodbye, good luck, cheerio!
    • Tap and Alf argue while Alf comes by on a tractor, which quickly devolves into threats and cussing each other out.
    Tap: That's better than a van? Ha, come on.
    Alf: Oh, you'll have to f**k yourself!
    Tap: Hm, bet.
    Alf: Ayo, I wonder if I can kill him, Dorothy?
    Tap: F**kin' do it!
    Alf: You're no good!
    Tap: I'd turn back if I were you!
    Alf: Ha, good try!
    Tap: Hey, watch it!
    Alf: Shut the f**k up!
    • "'What a d**k,' said Tap to Jess. 'Lol'"

  • Sadam Avagenote , Jamie Heinienote , Arahamaharanote , Tori Cheenote , and Karirarinote  proudly present The Mythsters.
    • The numerous changes to the title card, including "MythbubhtyM" and "Mythsusters".
    • "They don't test the myths, they just tell the myths"
    • "Women have better men, that they notice all the men, that women notice all the better women, and men notice all the observation skills. Women don't. The women notice all the skills, and women notice Eminem, and men don't."
    • "We're testing the myth that women are men. So, why the basketball?"
    • "Up steps the first walker to take the watching dead challenge"
      • "This is gonna be a test" *the guy gets up and walks out*
    • "How many times did they pass the basketball?" "Yellow."
      • "Anything else interesting about the video?" "Mmm... 12?"
    • "Xbox One." "I'm not buying it." "Yeah, really?"
    • "Which can cause Koffing and Vomiting"
    • "What are we gonna blow up today?" (balloon animal appears)
    • "On Backing Braid"
    • "So the good stuff is very very good stuff"
    • "Woah, this is a squid."
    • "It may look nothing like Stevie Wonder, but Stevie doesn't even know how he looks."
    • "Give me the fulminated mercury!"
    • "Now what we need to do is test this myth." (you don't say) "And we're gonna have to create a TV show. And we're gonna have to reek."
    • "The Leela Effect"
    • "With the one and only ingredient: a mammoth."
    • "It's about seven degrees." "That's about a hundred degrees."

  • The Price is Rice (And Other-Type Game Shows)
    • It's The Price Is Rice!
    • The female contestant who always says "No."
      • The other female contestant, Nicole, begins to rapidly twitch while hunched over, after she's asked for her guess. More than one viewer has guessed that she's a broken robot.
        Nicole?
    • "Shadow, what's our first prize?" "A Chaos Emerald?!"
    • This exchange:
    Contestant: Seven-oh-one.
    Craig Ferguson: Say it again?
    Contestant: Seven-oh-one?
    Craig: Say it again?
    Contestant: Seven-no-one.
    Craig: Say it again?
    Contestant: No.
    Paula: Yes.
    • "What bird is Mexico?"
    • The Wheel of Fortune segment:
      Tommy Wiseau: What a story...
      Pat Sajak: …mark, and let's get you working on this puzzle. The category tonight is "Puzzle."
      (A single letter lights up; Vanna just stands and shrugs instead of revealing it)
      Pat: Vanna? Vanna? Hello, Vanna?
      Contestant: Oh.
      Pat: Well, uhhhhh…
      Contestant: Oh.
      Pat: …hhhhhU
      Contestant: .yggub ybab weN-Oh.
      (board reveals "FHQWHGADS")
    • The host of Family Feud, in the Fast Money intro: "THE GAME!"
    • "If you can't thing of anything, just say "Feuf-fef-feef-feuf-feuff-feeuf-feuf-fueeeee!"
    • A disastrous Fast Money:
      • "Name something." "Reading"
      • "Name something in their homes that people always keep in a movie theatre." [seagull sounds]
      • "A word that rhymes with 'movie theatre'." "Cease"
      • "Give me a large popcorn, please." "No!"
      • "When you're fu—" "Phone numbers."
      • Every given answer scores zero points.
      • "Lemme just ask you this. Just, just... What?"
    • "Welcome to Who Wants To Be A Bee."
      • "We have Greg Ginn in the hot seat. He is in the hot seat, he's hot, he's in the seat, he's Greg Ginn, he is a millionaire. Sryrs." "And I want to fight you and all the Irish and a pea."
    • Which of the following is best pony?:
      • A) Twilight
      • B) Applejack
      • D) Rainbow Dash
      • 8) Pinkie Pie
      • It's Fluttershy
      • (That pony joke was a bit over the top...)

  • The Price is Rice Jr.
    "If you want money, make the money. 1-800-NINE. We are injured. The law says you should get injured. If you want injured, you deserve the free burger. Whoa."
    • One of the teams in Double Dare 2000 has three team members whose names begin with "Chris."
    • "I'm gonna ask the blue team a question. If they know the answer, that's great, they'll answer it. If they don't, I don't care, they have to answer it. If they don't answer the question, goes a little bit like this: I'm gonna put a chokehold on the blue team, at which point they have to get a physical."
    • One of the answers in the "Who Wants To Be a Millionaire" segment is "idk lol."
    • "I need to be a smart chicken."
    • The montage of contestants at the end:

  • The Price is Rice Classic
    • "You ready to play?" "I'm ready to play" "You ready to play?" "I'm ready to play"
    • "A pool table and an Eevee!"
      • "This sexy TV is equipped with a triple-X web browser!"
    • Nicole finally responding.
      Craig Ferguson: YA MADE IT!
    • "I have run over 1000 people down these aisles!"
    • "It's Sweepermarket Soup!"
    • "Our contestants are ready to go." ("I'm ready to play")
    • "I'm a full-time orange."
    • "Sexy...Round...Women...Lick...Pleasure...Explosions... Are you ready to play the game?" ("No?")
    • "Put your hands on your butts."
    • "And there goes Susan! I figured she was on her way to fill up her diaper!"
    • "Over in the gore section, Jeff's into the babies- oh my God, Jeff!"
    • The longevity of Jeopardy is explained:
      Art Fleming: You know, if we were on once a week, this would be our fortieth week. We'll be starting our ninth year on BBC, as it is. And during that time, we'll be starting our forty-ninth month. (echoed) A remarkable amount of time.
    • "More women than men watch the show, but approximately two NBs appear as contestants to every man."
    • "This is Dr. Elliot Shwen, the winner of dollars. This is Ms. $8,250. And this is Mr. Burns. And this is Mr. Mel Brooks!"
    • "I have two charities, both involving young people in my own home. One is called Jeff, for an 11 year-old boy who needs a kid, and the other is called Sherman, for a 17 year-old trans boy who was very seriously injured in a Jeopardy! game."
    • "The categories are French Cuisine, Comics and Cuisine, Jerks at Work, Settings, The Actor and the Troll, and Religious Cartoons."
    • "Uh, who is Superman?" "That's right, Clark Kent is."
    • "The full name of the character giving a lecture in the following film." (cue a clip of "Hotline Bling" on the board)
      Drake: You used my cell phone. That can only mean one thing. You need mommy. (percussion loops) Youyooyooy... You used my thing... Eh. Yeah. Ever I left Cincy you... You make me feel myself.
    • Nicole winds up winning "The Price is Rice"... because her opponent in the Showcase went to bed.
  • Bill Nigh Cells Himself For a Profit

  • "My Little Pwn: Friendship is Frerfship" (censored reupload)
    • Pinkie Pie: Glance EEEEEEEEE!
    • Apple Bloom: Applejack, I'm a baby! I can take care of my sus!
    • This:
    Twilight Sparkle: Now, tell me, what exactly have you actually seen Zecora do?
    Rainbow Dash: Well… (long silence, fidgets and rolls her eyes, starts to say something but goes quiet)
    Twilight: Ooh… (starts talking backwards)
    • Applejack: That filly little silly!
    • Rarity: Ugh, I look like a bull! Nice decorations...if you like pee!
    • The TBS logo showing up when Appletini says "Very funny."
    • This:
    Pinkie Pie: Don't you agree, Fluttershy?
    Fluttershy: (deep voice) I don't wanna talk about it.
    (everypony laughs)

  • "The Ground Roundup"
    ♪Myyyyyyym
    ♪I used to wonder what could be
    ♪Memes used to be funny
    ♪Bench, nun, fart, notch
    ♪Karing shindness, it's an easy feat
    ♪And magic makes it magic
    ♪Myyyyyym, don't you know you're all my very best frieeeeeeeirf♪
    • Twilight Sparkle: Jack, you're a failure.
    • This exchange:
    Apple Bloom: What's it say?
    Twilight Sparkle: It's from Jack. "Family and friends. Soon." That's all there is.
    Apple Bloom: Jack's Jack?
    Rainbow Dash: What do you mean, Jack? She luls!
    Granny Smith: And she luls.
    Apple Bloom: And she luls!
    • "I'm glad we're finally gonna get some applejacks." (Old joke is old, I know.)
    • Twilight Sparkle: "Look, girls!" (picture turns swirled) "Swirls!"

  • "The Sharkshank Redemption" (edited and re-uploaded on Da Things 2 as "Who are the Sarksh?)"
    • The introductions of the sharks:
    "Kevin O'Leary is a cat who turned a $10 loan into a sauce business worth $4."
    "Lori Greiner, the Queen of Bruce, holds over half a dollar."
    "Daymond John is Mowgli."
    "Robert Herjajerc, the son of an immigrant factory worker.
    "And Mark Cuban, the outspoken owner of Kevin O'Leary."
    Lori: [Glowing Eyes of Doom]

  • Even The Evil Bernstain Rascals, probably her weakest poop, has its moments:

  • Sorry, Ross.

  • Wow! It's Made!
    • "HEY! M-M-Most commercially made paper is made from paper."
    • "Paper is made from wood, trees, and paper. Chemicals, SoƧ, SoooƧ..."
    • "Covert tooth."
    • "But the main ingredient remains the same: a mammoth."
    • "This machine beats the workers to a pulp. Begin the beating. After eight hours of beating, they may also die, depending on the desired effect."
    • "At this point, the paper is 99 cents." "It was 99 cents!"
    • "Holland is filling with water." "Holland. OH NO, the windmills."
    • "To make a sheet of cheetah paper, the Batman plunges a wooden mold into the mold. Hee hee hee."
    • [Paper ball rolls into scene] "Ball!"
    • "It's a lighter. LOL. Spin the wheel!" "It's a Combusken!"
      Well, that was weird.
    • "An Electrode welds the hinge to the case, then a mechanic inspects the welding joj. Mechanized arms then place a tutu and plate in the cake. The tube will hold The Flintstones and the plate will form The Jetsons."
    • "Sonic screwdrivers drive the screws."
    • "Medics are essential in the treatment of Heavies!"
    • "Molding of the pills is done by Flo."
    • "Two stampers, one above and the other above, crush Dr. Phil."
    • "Quality testing is carried out on five pills every fifteen minutes-" [Pill gets crushed, Record Scratch] "...Shoot."
    • "Then the door of the coating unit is caaaaaaaaarefully closed." SLAM
    • "They are lined up in grooves to make filling groovier. Then they snort powder."
    • "And the final step is PVP."note 
    • "This plant also makes pills—" (Beat) "Wait. Never mind."
    • "Years ago, people went down alleyways. This technique was called a walk."
    • "This rope is fuuf, yet flulf."
    • "…that applies a protective coating of urine. This machine is called the machine machine".
    • "IT'S- over 9000 kilograms." "WHAT NINE THOUSAND?!?- That's the weight of a killer whale!"
    • "Double powerful ultra high performance thermal high tech fancy hydraulic rope."
    • "So now, you really know the Pope."

  • The sequel to "Wow! It's Made", Wow! It's Made: Revelations:
    Narrator: Americans are number one. Germans should be on the street. Black people are to be sold as pieces of meat. I really hate all people in different regions.
    • "...the length of one soccer field, twice. That's close to two soccer fields!"
    • "Big fat rolls of cellulite are loaded into this big death machine. *The screen goes red and the video slows down.*
    • "A machine then vacuums out any hot dogs." (The clip of the machine is played backwards to achieve the effect, and the worker looks quite upset to see her hot dogs disappear.) *Sad music starts to play and the scene fades to black and white before being interrupted*
    • "An inspector eats 3500 hot dogs a minute."
    • "This factory manu-factors an incredible 3 hot dogs an hour. That's close to two!"
    • "The type of pillow you sleep on is a matter of type of pillow you sleep on is a matter of materials, SlilƧ, SliilƧ..."
    • "...or pathetic materials, such as Floam, or huge densely packed bales weighing almost 6 pounds."
    • "This polyester fiber is made from polyester fiber.
    • "Fans push the fibers to another opening machine called 'The Other Opening Machine'."
    • "Brrr..."
    • "Ssspray a ssspecial sssolution to reduccce ssstatic electricccity."
    • "After the garnet hopper, the fibers look like complete crap. Unacceptable. They need to be thrown out. (A pile of fibers is tossed into a bin, making a Wilhelm Scream.)"
    • "I'm the king. The workers must be taught to OBEY!"
    • "A technician punches out the other workers, and they are now turned into loose synthetic fibers."
    • "The first machine separates the workers with a large steel spiked roller. This maims them considerably, but not completely."
    • "Everyone is a telephone operator."
    • "To make high-end headphones, an injection molding machine first makes high-end headphones, to produce a critical component: The headphones."
    • "A technician turned on her computer and logged into Youtube. She then trolled the entire Youtube public hundreds of times. (Various Youtube comments with offensive, stupid, or Flame War inducing statements from "Fleelfmeister471" are displayed.) RUDE."
    • "The next technician positions the plastic bag around the Danger Zone for a wide and flat Audi."
    • "The next technician's a freak. Must be in her brain. One very strange individual."
    • Kids React to... bread.
    • "The dough will eventually rise. (Very long beat) ...Eventually..."
    • "The machine can handle 3 per second, for a total of 11,500 per second."
    • "And now, ready for shipping. (Cue two lumps of dough preparing to kiss as romantic music note  plays.) Dough pieces must not touch one another!"
    • "So now, you're really dope!"note 

  • Wow! I'm Hungry! (Wow! It's Made! 3)
  • Wow! It's Played! (Wow! It's Made! 4)
    "Creating jobs is altruism."
  • Wow! It's Made... Up (Wow! It's Made 5)
    • The opening joke, with some advanced sentence mixing.
    • "No need to mess with Cleopatra. Anyway... lipstick."
    • "She adds a plant-based gel known as... uh... plantalatum."
    • "Lipstiquid"
    • "She places the cases into stasis. On another conveyor, the lipsticks pass by guns." (Guns are shown aiming at lipstick) "Hey! Settle down! It's just lipstick."
    • "It wasn't until today that chemists created perspirants that use chemicals, SoƧ, SoooƧ... to create perspiration."
    • "The World is a Stand that protects DIO."
    • "Drake evenly lines up the tunnel."
    • "Mascara grows in parts of Texico and Mexas."
    • "And this compound called T-E-A is added to Banjo-Tooie. EEAEEEAE"
    • "A thick-o-meter measures the thickness. The formulation is yeeted." (glass breaks) "Don't you just hate it when that happens?"
    • Traditional turquoise jewelry crafting looks a little different in the Wow! It's Made universe, to say the least...
    • "It's time to feed the workers. Begin eating." (munching on corn ensues)
      • "While they keep eating, I prepare the water. The first ingredient is pee. Purified pee. Basically water."
    • "But today, some big wigs use Goat Simulator. You twit - you threw out history."
    • "So now, you really know the jig."
  • "Wow! It's So Big! (Wow it's Made 6)"
    • The Part 6 of Wow! It's Made! saga goes as far as to include the opening narration.
      Brooks: In a world where only one company rules... where workers work... where one company beats workers up... or down... where people die... the one from the Internet.
    • "With doors and panels, the DeLorean was known as a car. These cars are in rough shape, but a restoration can make a DeLorean look like a ReStorean."
    • "THIS DeLorean is a rare-ru-rare-rer-rare relic from the 9080s."
    • The narrators interact once more:
      Brooks: The ice machine technology took a few years in the mid-nineteenth century to refi—
      Lynne: Hey, your job is done. Move along! It's my turn now.
      Brooks: Fine. Chill.
    • "The heathen then places the evaporator daughter-side-down, over a roller. Oller a rover. Over a rollor arvover a roller, which removes the girl from the metal."
      • "You can remove the girl from the metal. However, you can't remove the metal from the girl."
    • "Agent Bond will act as a bonding agent. He then punches the cop. Then it's into a cell. James Bond is cool at all times. However, moral impurities like cops can't just be punched away."
    • "Turpentine, on ice of course. (horse neighing in the background) Nice, a horse."
    • "The lighthouse is laser-cut and welded from sheep. Also a deer. Also deer lobes. Also paint thinner and boiled inseed oil to make it runny and slimy."
    • "If you can afford one of these [a yacht], you're living a lie! You can go eat a glass sandwich."
    • "The team sprays MP3 paint, giving it a lossy finish. The team sprays salsa paint, giving it a saucy finish. (Beat) Shish."
    • "The technician calls her aesthetic "Seafoam Core". Cool place. Sweet bathroom. Screw the toilet, though. Lock her in the guest room."
    • "A craftsman strips in the yacht's deck so there'll be no need to wonder if the craftsman has buff body parts. (Beat) He doesn't. He confirms that everything is s**t-shape."
    • "The crew does a lot of slacking off. They treat their job like recess. All this slacking leads to one place: home."
    • "A locomotive is the powerful rat named Charles Enter-train-ment Cheese."
    • "The larger grey locomotives are passenger trains, designed primarily for speed. Those smaller yellow ones to the right are pissinger trains designed primarily for pee. For the peein' market."
    • "Welders progressively build up a Tuesday weld. The real Tuesday weld. No, the REALLY real Tuesday Weld."
    • "Rendering the under-frame strong enough to pull 444 metric f**ktons into a cylinder called a satyr."
    • "If you can afford one of these [a large concrete block], you're a living meme. You can go eat a concrete sandwich."
    • "Production starts with a mix of rock and stone and sand and limestone and sandstone and limes."
    • "A team inserts a sheet of cheetah paper. Rawr-roar-rawr-roar!"
    • "Then, a minute glass, that counts down one minute to let you know how long you've been Canadian."
    • So now, you're really dank. note 

  • Make Cake Bake!
  • Making Caking Baking!
    • "Help."
    • The Great British Baking Show background music syncs surprisingly perfectly with Inside the Pirate Ship from The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
    • All the bakers seem to be named "Scotty". Even Nadiya:
      Paul: Morning, Nadiya!
      Nadiya/Scotty: I'm Scotty.
      Mel: We salute you.
      Narrator: Nadiya's transformed into Scotty.
    • "Scotty Will Attempt To Assault A Baby" is read aloud from the onscreen "book", along with the captions "Heavens No" and "Will No One Stop Her?"
    • The award of Star Baker goes to Scotty, but the person who's kicked off the show is... Mel.
  • Pupin the Thirst

  • Sonic Sesame
    • Mildred: "I was at a basketball game with my friend, and all of a sudden, the game was over.
      <cue credits for five seconds>
      Mildred: However, the next game was baseball with new teams: the Necks, and the Bathroom. And all of a sudden, Lisa was my friend Lisa, and all of a sudden, both teams disappeared to the bathroom – however, not the baseball team called "the Bathroom," the actual bathroom. Rer, Rerr, rer-rer–-"
      Mayor: Chill, Mildred! <manhandles Mildred aside> The point is, there's a–
      Mildred: baseball game with my friend Lisa, and–-
      Mayor: Mill, Childred! <manhandles Mildred aside again>
    • "That could only be the notorious Flaming Head Diamond Red-Band UFO!"
    • "There is Maria. She is Ma-reading, but it is dark."
      Shadow the Hedgehog: Maria… <she explodes>
    • "Good thing we found this underground passage!"
      • "Good thing we found the sus!"
    • Prairie Dawn's incomprehensible piano introduction.
      "Our viewer calls to young gum. So time comes. Oh well. Fart. <farts> Whoops."
      • And then, when one of the puppets dressed a flower pot comes out, he makes some grunt-sneezy noises and goes offstage.
      • Later, Bert comes out:
        Bert: <clears throat> I am gay.
        Children: Cool!
    • "A UFO?!" (Unidentified F______ Object)
      Guy Smiley: And if they can tell me what the F-word is, they will win!
      Caller: You mean I win?
      Guy Smiley: Yes!
      Caller: I win! Oh, what did I get? What did I win, Mr. Smiley?
      Guy Smiley: Well, F you!
      Caller: <house gets invaded by monsters> Oh, no!

  • "Jeopardy's Tooth: Bubble Jeopardy" mines humor from Katie Couric's turn guest-hosting Jeopardy!
    • "Introducing today's contestants: a letter, a ghoul, and a pie."
    Katie Couric: (reading clue) In 1942, three years later.
    Keith: What is two?
    Katie: That's right.
    Katie: It's "Yo Yo Yo" and a bottle of Captain Morganâ„¢ for this performer.
    (''cut to "Hotline Bling" edit consisting entirely of Drake singing "You" over and over again)
    Michalle: Who is Drake?
    Katie: No.
    (beep beep beep)
    Katie: We were looking for "You".
    Katie: This Swedish Chef says, "Burger fer-fer-fer-ders burger-fern-ders!"
    (beep beep beep)
    Katie: Who is Herbert Hoover?
    Katie: This kid made "Sauce Boy" on YouTube in 2012.
    Keith: Who is Mickey Mouse?
    Katie: No.
    Michalle: Who is DaThings?
    Katie: Yes! Go ahead.
    • The lady from "Burgers and Greens" gets a Call-Back:
    Cindy: The last thing you need in your Burger King burger is someone's foot fungus. But that's often just what you get. Look at me, I'm a catgirl. Nya nya nya~
    Katie: Michalle is a librarian from Texas. You actually dropped out of school to write poetry?
    Michalle: I did. I was in—
    Katie: You're Insane!
    • Keith whistling the Old Spice jingle.
    Katie: Pie is our returning champion from Pencilsburg, Pencil-vania, and I understand you have a 20-pound mechanical pencil? And I understand you have Castlevania?
    Katie: Let's start with Ian. Your response was...
    (Daily Double sound effect)
    Katie: The Daily Bubble! Wow, anything can happen in Jeopardy!
  • Jeopardy's TWOth: Double the Bubble. The sequel to Jeopardy's Tooth: Bubble Jeopardy manages to keep up with the humor and pace of its predecessor.
    • The intro:
    Johnny Gilbert: Morgan Bryles, Matt Walks, and Garron Teleports. (Garron teleports)
    • Katie on a guest category by Sting:
    Katie: How cool is that? Morgan?
    (Morgan hesitates)
    (beep beep beep)
    Katie: What is "so cool"?
    • A clue goes awry:
    (clue shows this meme◊)
    Katie: China is the top consumer of these units.
    Garron: What are watts?
    Katie: No.
    Morgan: What are wot?
    Katie: No.
    Matt: What is wut?
    Katie: No. The response we were looking for: "wat."
    • Sting presents a clue:
    Sting: In the musical The Last Sh[bleep], I played this British Prime Minister.
    Matt: Who is Thatcher?
    Katie: Don't cry.
    Sting: Hi, I'm sting and I'm excited to present Blue's Clues.
    (beep beep beep)
    Katie: What is "Sting is old"?
    • "This 1886 act allowed Americans to pee on its military."
    • "Your blanket used to measure 3.2 feet. In 2019 it fell by 4 inches, giving it the lowest percent of this."
    • Morgan's voice being pitch shifted to the tune of "Come On Eileen".
    • "Gross cup of coffee. So take it from Skelly, enjoy a rich delicious cup of brandy instead of coffee."
    Katie: With his partner Betty Greene, Adolph Green wrote the greenplay for this Grene Kelly musical about the sauce film era. (clue turns green)
    Matt: Minimominem?
    Katie: Eeny, meeny, miny, no.
    • The interviews:
    Katie: Diego is a stay-at-home dad from San Diego.
    Garron: Yeah.
    Katie: Go, Diego, Go! Matt Montana, he's a digital journal. You look like it, the way you're dressed.
    Matt: Haha, thank you, yeah.
    Katie: So in middle school I understand you actually hosted Jeopardy!
    Matt: Yes, uh, I, well, I was just—
    Katie: (interrupting) Yeah, well, I'll see you in court. And finally, Morgan Briles is a reindeer.
    Morgan: Yes.
    Katie: Tell us about that.
    (title card: MORGAN THE FRIGGIN' REINDEER)
    (timer beeping)
    Katie: We're out of time, but Bubble Jeopardy! is next.

  • Jeopardy's 3th: Jeopardy's TEETH, the third of DaThings' Jeopardy! series, is just as hilarious as its preceeding entries.
    • "Today is today!"
    • Unusually, the board has 11 categories. These categories are:
      • The U.S. Government
      • Ski Resorts
      • Boy Scouts
      • Left Hand For Life
      • The Roman Empire
      • To The Stars
      • The Blank _____ Way
      • 1000 People
      • The Human Female Body
      • Armed Forces
      • cs188
    • The first three questions indicate an interesting theatrical tradition in this universe.
    "Act â…  of this Gilbert O'Sullivan operetta has the lyric 'Oh no, it's Benedict Cumberbatch / I better fart'"note 
    "Act â…£ of this Zenigata operetta has the lyric 'Oh no, it's Lupin / I better die'"note 
    "Act Ⅹ̅ⅯⅯnote  of this Alan Cumming operetta has the lyric "Oh no, it's Floop / I better faraf floolf flalf flulf'note 

  • "Thing of Da Hill"
    • Transitioning to the intro remix from "Honeybees," for starters.
    • Hank’s list of party guests:
    "Hank, Bill, Dale, Boom Boom, Dank, Hill, Bale, Bank, Dill, Hale, Boomhauer, and Doomhauer."
    • The Running Gag of Hank constantly turning down Bobby asking for a skateboard.

  • "Amciemt Aliems", a poop of another History Channel show, Ancient Aliens.
    • Every instance of Brodyquest in the video.
    • "Throughout history, humans threw out history."
    • "We had extraterrestrials manipulating our DNA." "Oh, man." "Extraterrestrials DNI."
    • An Overly Long Gag of listing various superheroes, from the Fantastic Four to Wonder Woman to Iron Man, caps off by combining them into "Super Incredible Fantastic Wonder Iron Hawk Spider Bat Animal Trans Woman, the Ex-Man".
    • "Perhaps further clues can be found by more closely examining mankind's modern stories of astronaut beings pretending to be ordinary humans in space by disguising themselves as crewmates. It's called Among Us."
      • "But could Amogus be inspired by our desire to connect with powerful bees?"
    • "Skeleton theorists sayyas, and as evidence, they cite Sans Undertale.
    • The Stinger, featuring Stan Lee delivering a sentence-mixed "The Reason You Suck" Speech to the show itself:
    Stan Lee: Since this is on History, I assumed it would give you some quality education. I also figured that it would stick to facts. Or so I thought.
    Narrator: Ancient astronaut theorists say yes.
    Stan Lee: (as the word "theorists" is highlighted on-screen) Now that should give you some indication that this information is very much speculation. In other words, you're wrong.

  • "Additiomal Amciemt Aliems"

  • "Cutchen", a poop of Cutthroat Kitchen.
    • "I'm Chef Chef, and they call me the Tongue Chef."
    • "I'm going to announce a dish you are going to prepare, in this case, a lemonade. You will then have six seconds to shop for all THE LEMONS in our Cutchen Panthroat Kitry. Then, I'm going to announce a second dish, in this case, one cold, hard pear. You will then have to prepare the pear. One of you will recieve a second pear, so you are going to prepare a pair of pears."
    Alton: One of you will walk out of here.
    Cori: Bye, guys... (Leaves while speaking gibberish in an interview segment)
    Chef Chef: Let's just skip the nonsense and let's just send both of them guys home!
    (The other two contestants leave)
    Chef Chef: I just won Cutchen! (Performs a staggered victory yell)
    • THAT NEVER HAPPENED
    • "This is our judge for the day, Mister Simon Majimon. Simon is an accomplice.
    SIMON MAJIMON
    Helped Alton commit a crime
    SIMON MAJIMON
    Writes food
    • "I have to use this dinky little, stinky little steak knife." "That's a sh*t knife!"
    • "I'm looking at my basket, and I look at the biscuit, and I look at a brisket, I'm gonna risk it, and I'm probably gonna whisk it."
    • The credit roll, set to a mashup of "Sabotage" and "Cooking by the Book".
  • "Pocket Mans!," a poop of Pokémon.
    Tracey: Hey, wasn't Spencer one of your tops, Professor?
    Professor Oak: My best ever! He recently sent me some of his nudes.
    (Shows some pixelated images)
    Tracey: What are they?
    Professor Oak: They're c*cks.
    Tracey: Have you seen any inside that man?
    Professor Oak: Yes.
    • The dead seriousness with which Professor Oak responds to Delia Ketchum excitedly saying "I'm Professor Oak!"
    Professor Oak: So am I.
    • The general overabundance of Lotads in the second half of the video.
  • A Guy's DDDDD&Dnote  featuring Guy Fieri as he drives across the country to eat food.

  • A Guy's Gross Games featuring Guy Fieri as he challenges some folks to his most bizarre grocery shopping game yet.
    • "Welcome to Flavortown!" (cue music from Windfall island)
      • "And if you know me, you know I'm gonna kick Chef Aaron May!" "Why-"
    • "First up, a culinary chef who burst onto the scene." (lo-fi explosion)
    • "Next we have two-time triple-time tournament two-triple-two-times-two peein' tournament champion with over one time winning: Chef Chefsky! And then two other guys."
    • "When you get into that aisle, you will have to shop in that aisle."
    • The entire Shopping montage from Justin taking "Hmmm..." to a lady getting lots of things such as shoe milk, babies and more.
    • Justin claims to have won over 96 times, also stating a bigger store means a bigger store and bigger games mean bigger games.
    • Aaron May's ingredients include baby food, popcorn, chicken, pea, butter and blop corn.
    • Darnell seems to have the worst presentation/reputation of the folks in the show from a demonic shriek to constantly saying "a blank state" to being accused of punching a judge in the face.
    • Crista seems to be cooking nada and then she gets "Hot Bar" (or Not bar as she calls it) added to her shopping list.
    • Against all odds, Chef Aaron May wins despite his hilariously bad cooking.
    • "Terrible." "I do agree with you It's a little bit." "Lul." "Eleven out of ten chefs agree, it is the worst thing ever to exist."

  • "A Guy's Change of a Filetype" featuring Guy Fieri trying to find a deep-fried chicken restaurant operator.
    • "My life has always been about my lifetime."
      David Byrne: This is not my lifetime!
    • Guy Fieri constantly using nonsensical words that rhyme with Uber on the topic on Hunter going on the hunt for Uber. Chase is also shown stuttering on his words.
    • "Is it about the sauce, or is it about the SauS?"
    • Some people seem to not like sauce... and they don't like SauS either.
      Doug: ____ sauce!
      Guy Fieri: I'm sorry. Who fed this guy?
      Doug: _____ SauS!
    • A woman claims to have a chicken named chicken... before stating he looks like a cat.
    • Goat Davis, owner and operator of Atlanta, Georgia, claims to have started a business at eleven years of age. Said business involves cutting people around the neighbourhood.
    • Sergeant Chelsea Lear from Texas claims to be a female version of a guy also stating that she grew up believing she could be "Epic" and that she is that "Epic" person. She also claims that one can be what they want to be as long as they are her.
    • Cooper Fooper from Sylvania names himself a winner because he can be a winner.
    • Philip Tomato from Yorkchester, New York explains he was told he was a loser, but also states he likes Family Guy and doesn't lose.
    • Ebony Hebony from Dallas declares if someone needs sallaD they can call their team leader, general manager and district manager. She also claims she left her husband and her four kids and if people need to get four kids, they can get her husband.
      Ebony: When you're trying to fly, who do you call? A chicken.
    • Doug's introduction begins with him saying he's no one with his text box showing absolutely nothing. His intro manipulates his speech such that he's left saying "Huh... Heh!". His strategy to win? Eat lunch.
    • "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" "You're Guy."
    • "Man look at Cool Cat! I wish I was him! I wish I had a father like him. That's equivalent to going to the NFL, the NBA, the NFLBA. That's equivalent to the BA NB."
    • Guy calling out everyone on the worst job interview ever, also stating twenty-two out of ten chefs agreed on it as evidence.
      Guy Fieri: No food, no business, no marketing, no P&L, no cost control, no culinary operations, no Chaos Control. You have no front operation, you're gonna have no PR. This will be no business.
    • Guy tells them to be ready to drop everything... and Cayton's face falls off.
    • Guy tells them that the person he's looking for needs to be a lobster. As such, Chelsea opines that owning a restaurant means Lobster.
    • Ebony claims to grow and develop manure and if anyone needs to get some, they can call their VP General District Field Team Lead Management Consultation Operations.
    • Cooper explains why he's competing, and Cayton... well, we can hope means well.
      Cooper: I'm here because I want to show Black men that they can be successful in this industry.
      Cayton (a white guy): [with complete sincerity] Me, too.
      [silence]
    • "Participating, competing, and participeeting and partici—[Beat]—pation!"
    • Chelsea declares she's going to come out of the competition a better manager, a better person, a better purse, a better man, a better league and so on and so forth.
      Cooper: (as Chelsea's text softens over his views) The candidate that's opposite from me is Chelsea.
    • "I walk into Chicken Guy and there's guy on the wall—" "I am Guy!" "There's Guy Fieri imagery all over the place."
    • "So I'm trying to remember to call these sandwiches but I just keep forgetting to remember to call these 'Sandwiches'."
    • "I wash the dishes in the toilet, and I think that resonates well with Guy."
      Guy Fieri: We can't have that. K? It ain't gonna work.
      • Goat apparently is not happy with Guy's remarks.
    • "If the toilet breaks, guess who's gonna fix that?" "I am."
    • "So the big question is: Does Kate have the big cake?" "No."
    • Kate admits he doesn't want to look back at his life going "Was that my big milkshake?".
    • "Butt consistency is key." "That might be true."
    • The Stinger. That is all.
      Ebony: I'm trying to leave here.
      Guy: We're starting you out with a Chase bank account.
      Goat: Ooh-la-la! That's money!
      Ebony: You know what that means?
      Jen: Hi everyone. I'm Jen from Website.

  • No, Do Harm
    Dr. Ruben: Hamiltamiltamilton. My name is Hamiltamiltamilton. And there's a MILF—
  • "Diner Sores", a poop of the Apple TV+ documentary Prehistoric Planet.

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