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Funny / Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (Season Two)

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Funny Moments for Season 2 of Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series. Please list the examples in episodic order.

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     Episode 23 - Yami of Darkness 

     Episode 24 - Egyptian Exhibition Expo 2007 
  • The Flashback
    High Priest Seto: Pharaoh, your reign of tyranny ends now! We demand that you wear a shirt that covers your manly chest! You're making us all look out of shape!
    Pharaoh's Servant: Our pharaoh can wear whatever he wants, he worked hard to get that physique!
    High Priest Seto: Why don't you marry the pharaoh if you love him so much?
    Pharaoh's Servant: Maybe I will!
    Seto: Hey that guy looks just like me! And he has a Blue Eyes, just like me! And he's an asshole, just like me!
  • From the same episode:
    Kaiba: Are you trying to tell me that Yugi and I are destined to play card games with each other for eternity?
    Ishizu: Yes.
    • "These are ancient Egyptian spoiler tags!"
  • A Take that at his Hate Dumb
    Mokuba: Hey, big brother, can I watch SpongeBob?
    Kaiba: Shut up Mokuba, I'm busy flagging YouTube videos to compensate for the fact that I have an extremely small penis.
    Mokuba: Oh... I like Patrick.
  • The camera is swivelling around whilst Ishizu and Kaiba are talking:
    Kaiba: Can we stop talking like this? I'm getting dizzy.
  • This interaction between Ishizu and Kaiba regarding the "Obelisk the Tormentor" card.
    Ishizu: You may borrow this card during the tournament, but I shall expect it back
    Kaiba: You do realize I'm just gonna keep this right? I mean there's no way I'd ever return a card this valuable.

     Episode 25 - Dirty Dueling 
  • Yugi is dressing up for "his" date with Téa. To quote Yami:
    Yami: You look like someone's bondage slave.
  • Yami's Cluster F-Bomb. To wit:
    Yugi: Okay, Pharaoh, you can thank me later. And remember, no hickeys! (switches to Yami)
  • Yami tries to explain to Johnny Steps why he shouldn't go on a date with Téa.
    "Trust me, Johnny, you don't want that! She'll sing Disney songs and birds will randomly attack you!"
  • Yami's erm... duel with a milkshake. "Man, I hate milkshakes. Die, milkshake, die. That's right, milkshake, you have been defeated! Now you go to milkshake prison!"
  • "Brainwashing people is fun!"
  • Téa's date with Yami.
    Téa: This is a dream come true! I can't believe I'm on a date with the Pharaoh. I've got the play it cool. That means no friendship speeches. No matter how tempting it is, I mustn't do a friendship speech. I mustn't!
    Yami: Hey Téa, what do you think of—
    Téa: Friendship is the best thing ever! Don't you agree? (inwardly) Dammit!
    Yami: Sure, why not.
  • Téa is being attacked by Johnny Steps:
    Bystander 1: Oh my god, he's assaulting that girl.
    Bystander 2: Let's just stand here and watch!
    • And the follow-up later:
      Téa: By the way, why didn't you help when that guy was beating the crap out of me?
      Yami: I thought it was part of the game.
      Téa: But he was attacking me.
      Yami: I know. It looked like fun.
  • This song, set to the "Something There" song from Disney's Beauty and the Beast.
    "F*cking birds!
    This date is lame,
    It's such a bore
    I'd rather be home playing card games more and more!
    If you ask me,
    Téa's a whore
    But then that's nothing new, she was like that before."
  • Yami: I'M POUTING!

     Episode 26 - Mo' Money, Mo' Card Games 
  • The flashback in Episode 26:
    Baby Pharaoh: (speaking in adult Pharaoh voice) Wah! Wah! Baby Pharaoh wants milk! Somebody fetch me a nipple!
    • He says the exact same thing as an adult in the next flashback.
      Yami: You're just BLEEPing with me, aren't you?
      Ishizu: Indeed I am.
    • And the Stinger caps it off with...
      Baby Pharaoh: Wah! Wah! Baby Pharaoh went doody in his diaper!! And where the hell is that nipple?!
  • Kaiba announcing his new tournament.
    Kaiba: And by the way, everybody competing will be forced to follow the official duel monsters rule book.
  • Kaiba: (leaning out the helicopter and holding a finger in the air) Don't forget to register and pick up your duel disks, because in exactly one week from to-" (propeller chops off his finger) DAAAAUUUGH! My finger! It came clean off!
  • Kaiba: I summon Boar Soldier! Hitosu-Me Giant! Maha Vailo! And... some kind of evil zebra-unicorn thing. Seriously, what the hell is that supposed to be!? Whatever it is, I'll be seeing it in my nightmares.

     Episode 27 - She Blinded Me with Card Games 
  • Joey getting Rickroll'd:
    Joey: Does it say anything about me on your magic computer box thing?
    Shopkeeper: Let's see...
    Rick Astley: Never gonna give you up/Never gonna let you down...
    Joey: That bastard Kaiba Rickrolled me!
  • In the same episode there's also the Item Get! parody where Joey "nyehs" the "treasure chest opening" musical cue from the Zelda games, then the "item discovered" sound cue is heard as he holds the Duel Disk over his head. "Looks like Joey found a Duel Disk!"
  • "I claim this card in the name of Mars! Isn't that lovely?"
  • "In the future, card games will be played on motorbikes!"
    • Even funnier Tristan's voice actor ends up becoming the voice of Yusei in the dub of 5Ds.
  • "We are the elite group known as Rare Hunters! My name is Steve! These are my associates! They are also called Steve!"
  • Joey asks why the Rare Hunters don't just steal his rarest card right out:
    Steve: We are here to take your rarest card.
    Joey: You mean you're gonna kick the crap out of me and steal it?
    Steve: No... First we're going to challenge you to a children's card game...then we will kick the crap out of you and steal it.
    Joey: Wouldn't it be much easier just to skip the first step?
    Steve: Yes...yes, it would.

     Episode 28 - Who's That Mokémon? 
  • Mokuba is going through "Japanese puberty":
    Kaiba: Oh my God! Does that mean...?
    Doctor: Yes, I'm afraid he believes he's a Pokémon.
    Kaiba: Mokuba, speak to me!
    Mokuba: Bulbasaur!
    • Later into the episode:
      Mokuba: Charmander, char!
      Kaiba: Shut up, Charmander!...I mean, Mokuba.
  • Grandpa's suspicions of Yami.
    Grandpa: While I'm out here sweeping the floor, Yugi's inside talking to his imaginary boyfriend.
  • Grandpa also has a hot date... with his Black Luster Soldier poster.
    Grandpa: Ooh Black Luster Soldier... How I've missed you.
  • When Joey tries to call Serenity:
    Tristan: I'm sorry, Serenity can't come to the phone right now as she's about to be deflowered.
  • "Does Mako Tsunami have to choke a bitch?"
  • Kaiba's Attempt to explain the official rules of Duel Monsters.
    Kaiba: Each start by shuffing each others decks-
    Contestant: Boring...
    Kaiba: Who said that?! Who the Fuck said that?! I'm warning you, I won't start this tournament until someone fesses up. Now who said it?
    Contestant: Sorry, that was me. My bad.
  • The first of three episodes of Bakura getting the crap beaten out of him for no good reason.
    Bakura: I say, Yugi, can I be in this episode? (hit by holoprojector) Oh, bugger!
    Mokuba: Buneary!

     Episode 29 - The Not So Super Roba Bros 
  • This quote:
    Young Kaiba: You guys call yourselves bullies? He's not even bleeding! You're all fired, I want you out of this orphanage by tomorrow morning. You make me sick.
    • The reveal that the reason the Kaiba brothers were in an orphanage was because Seto had fired their parents.
  • Téa: (thinking) "I wonder if I should get a haircut that doesn't make my head look like a cardboard box with features."

     Episode 30 - Sore 
  • The entire "Phresh Pharaoh" sequence, which features Yami sitting in a spinning throne and singing a parody of the opening of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. The Stinger features a continuation of it.
  • Yugi and Marik recite the entire opening cutscene from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.
  • When Yami and Arkana are preparing for their duel:
    Arkana: Here's an old saying among high rollers and card sharks: "Always trust your opponent, but only after you've cut their deck."
    Yami (original): Here's another saying: "Never trust a masked man."
    Yami (abridged): Yeah, well here's another saying: "Go [BLEEP] yourself, Arkana".
  • "I spy with my little eye, something beginning with gay clown!"
  • "Help! Save me from the harmless dark energy discs that won't kill me!"
  • Yami lampshading the ridiculous censoring of the sawblades, changing them from actual sawblades to "dark energy discs" that just sends your soul to the Shadow Realm but doesn't hurt your physical body.
    Yami: Honestly, are there no depths to which 4kids wont sink?
  • The pay-off to three episodes of Bakura getting beaten up, and the "harmless energy disks" gag:
    Bakura: I say, Yugi, can I be in this episode? (the "energy disks" slice Bakura in half) OOOOOH, buggeration!
  • Yami's plan to defeat Arakana by spoiling every plot twist ever.
    Arkana: Your plot twists pale in comparison to mine! How can you possibly hope to defeat a movie franchise that earns over a hundred million dollars every year?
    Yami: I see. Then the only way to defeat you is to spoil every plot twist in existence, thereby ridding the general public of any desire to see your convoluted mess of a movie series!
    Arkana: You wouldn't dare!
    Yami: Wanna bet? (takes a deep breath as Arkana gets an Oh, Crap! face) SNAPE KILLS D--
    [many spoilers later...]
    Yami: Nicole Kidman is a ghost and Rosebud is the sled!
    Arkana: No! He's spoiling all the best plot twists!
  • The debut of the Dark Magician Girl.
    CAPTIONS: [somewhere, a yu-gi-oh fan is touching himself inappropriately*]
    • [*this applies to any situation, really]
    • It's especially hilarious if you are the fan who was touching themselves. Caught ya!

     Episode 31 - Perfectly Ultimate Bunghole 
  • This:
    Marik: Now be gone Mr. Tweetums, I'm trying to stalk my nemesis.
  • This:
    Tristan: Yeah, I can break necks with my mind!
  • And this:
    Grandpa: Jeff Goldblum? He's one of the most powerful cards in all of Duel Monsters!
  • Joey pointing out how random it is that Weevil suddenly hates him, even though they never had any interaction aside from Joey being on the sidelines during Weevils rivalry with Yugi in season 1.
    Joey: Whats your beef with lovable ol' Joey?
    Weevil: Uhhhhh, I dunno, I don't think we've ever even met before, but apparently I hate your guts.
  • The weird fanboy Weevil got to sneak a card into Joey's deck. He insists on calling everybody by their original Japanese names, and uses annoying weeaboo slang.
  • Tristan's reaction to the fanboy. "He keeps talking in that strange, alien language! Let's break his neck!"
  • The effect of Weevil's cards:
    Tea: Oh, no! It's got Joey's monsters, and it's turning them into smooze!
    Tristan: Not smooze!
  • “If you enjoyed the Pokémon references in this episode, then check out Pokémon-X. God, I hate shameless plugs.

     Episode 32 - The Worst of Both Worlds 
  • The redub of Star Trek: The Next Generation (specifically "The Best Of Both Worlds") at the beginning. Highlights include Geordi having Serenity's voice and Wesley saying "The main deflector dish!" in Tristan's.
    Worf: (in Kemo's voice) Wheeeee! (attacks a Borg drone and gets shoved onto his butt) Oh, my hair!

    Geordi: (in Serenity's voice) If we could generate a concentrated burst of power at that same frequency distribution...
    Riker: (in Joey's voice) How do we do dat?
    Wesley: (in Tristan's voice) The main deflector dish!
  • Yugi meeting Marik's new mind-control victim: a mime with lots of piercings.
    Yugi: Marik, you fiend! Why must you use innocent people in your evil scheme?
    Marik/Steve the Mime: Innocent?! Are you kidding me?! Have you seen this guy?! He's got piercings all over his body. You've got to be pretty {EFF} to agree to something like that!
    Yugi: He's still a human being!
    Marik/Steve the Mime: He's also a mime.
    Yugi: Oh. Well, in that case, yeah, I'll kick his ass.
  • The fact that Slifer (The Executive Producer) is reciting Sinistar's lines.
  • This bit
    Marik: I'm talking about the power to look good in leather.
    Yami: That power belongs to me and me alone! And maybe to NSYNC, but mostly to me!

     Episode 33 - Harpoonshipping 
  • Marik meeting Bakura for the first time:
    Marik: My name is Marik Ishtar.
    Florence: I don't care.
    Marik: Well that was kinda insensitive! No wonder you're so lonely!
  • Later:
    Yami Bakura Florence: Face it, you're about as manly as a Square Enix character. Shall I call you Captain Basch from Dalmasca?
  • Marik decides to ally with Bakura.
    Marik: I have a better idea, we should totally hang out. With my evilness and your britishness we would be unstoppable... Why are you British anyway?
    Florence: I am not British, I am just gay.
  • And another in Harpoonshipping.
    Random Kid: Hey dad, I wanna see the freaky fish guy make the whale jump over a rock like in Free Willy *gets hit with a harpoon* Gaaaaaaah!!!
    Joey: Mako!
    Mako: What? That could have been anybody's harpoon!
  • In hindsight, the fact that the episode titled "Harpoonshipping" is the one where Marik and Bakura first meet.

     Episode 34 - Dork Side of the Moon 
  • Yami: *while looking at Kaiba's nose he thinks to himself* "Man, look at the size of that nose! It's like the animators just didn't care!"
  • The two Lunar Steves are spying on Kaiba and Yugi:
    Umbra: Secretly unbeknownst to them, Steve, we are flipping them off below our cloaks!
    Lumis: Yeah man! I'm doing it with both hands!
  • This one:
    Mokuba: I can't believe I've gone almost an entire season without being kidnapped! Wait 'til Seto hears about this!
    Steves: Surprise!
    Mokuba: Oh, me and my big, adorable mouth!
  • "Oh, goddammit. I wanted the window seat."
  • The Lunar Steve's being the two aliens from Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
  • Steve Umbra's explanation of how more advanced Card Game is on the moon includes stating the average card game take between two and five millenia. Yami answers by pointing out that's actually not so different from how long they take on Earth.

     Episode 35 - A Tale of Two Tournies 
  • "Epic Pouting Maneuver".
  • "I'm the ghost of Seto Kaiba!" "Yeah, well I'm Knuckles the Echidna!"
  • I'm the goddamn Kaibaman.
  • "Oohohohooh! If I weren't so very camp I'd probably make a credible villain!"
  • "—YUGI! If you don't let me win this duel, I'll kill myself!!" (deadpan) "Oh no, that would be terrible, whatever would we do without you."
  • The Clip Show:
    Yugi: Losing a children's card game has caused me to have an existential crisis!
    Téa: I have prepared a friendship speech for such an occasion!
    Yugi: NevermindI'mallbetternow.
  • The black and white flashback to the first episode. Also, Kaiba has a handlebar mustache.
    Kaiba: *in silent movie cue cards* My affluence makes nonsense of the regulations!
  • Kaiba cant remember his first meeting with Yugi because Yami fucked up his brain with his Mind Crush.
    Marik: Secretly unbeknownst to Yugi, I am in control of Bandit Keith's mind. Also, I'm not wearing any underwear.
    • The gag about Yami's name.
      Yami: My name is definitely Yami. *cue card reads Lol 4Kids*

     Episode 36 - The Man Who Would be Steve 
  • Episode 36 - Joey and Yugi singing one of the songs from Music To Duel By at the end. (Duke is the fourth Jonas brother!)
  • The beginning, where Kaiba and Yugi and riding in a helicopter to rescue Joey:
    Kaiba: Quick, Mokuba! Land on top of him.
    • And later...
      Kaiba: I still say we should land on him. Come on, it'll be funny.
  • Also the "friendship" drinking game and little counter in the corner.
    Marik: Oh, what the (EFF) is this bullcrap?! I wanted to duel the Pharaoh, not this little dickweed! This gives me effeminate fury!
  • "And as Yugi filled his pants with urine..."
  • Tristan's Shout-Out to Pulp Fiction.
  • "Ow, that barely hurt!" Followed by Duke's The Incredible Hulk reference: "You guys are making me sexy. You wouldn't like me when I'm sexy!"
  • Kaiba demanding that the duel stop because it violates Battle City regulation, much like 90% of the other duels he never bothered to stop.
    • When Marik uses Téa as a hostage to prevent this, Kaiba turns out to think that Tristan is the one named Téa.
  • Duke is running away with Serenity, and a car almost runs them over. It turns out to be driven by Mai Valentine, who scolds Duke, saying "Watch where you're walking! Didn't you see the red light?". Duke's response? "Yeah, but I figured that it was just because I'm surrounded by hoes!" Mai in-universe looks shocked at that remark, which is followed by Duke's sassy "Oh no I didn't!".
    • Duke rides between Mai and Serenity and catch up with Tristan. Duke's first remark towards Taylor? "Hey Tristan, can you say "Duke Sandwich"?".
  • For all the Smarks out there, Sheiky Baby's brief voiceover at the end was pure gold.
  • Kaiba saying, "This is for making me waste a perfectly good trading card!" Especially since this is what Kaiba actually says in the manga.
  • Yugi giving an emotional speech about how much his friendship with Joey means so much that he's willing to lose the duel and go to the Shadow Realm, only to take it back and call him a worse friend than Tristan when Joey reveals to him that their duel is an actual deathtrap and he really will drown if he loses.

     Episode 37 - Single White Shemale 
  • Episode 37 is dedicated to Yami Bakura Florence. From the opening segment of Zorc & Pals to the end, it was hilarious. But the clincher was at the end (Florence had summoned Pyramid Head and Zombie Boy had summoned Nemesis. The two monsters didn't exactly "duel").
    Florence: Pyramid Head, stop humping Nemesis! I knew I should've had him neutered.
  • Marik visiting a sleeping Yami Bakura Florence:
    Marik: Bakura... I command you to rise and shine, sleepyhead!
    Yami Bakura Florence: Oh, the fangirls have started invading my dreams, too...
    Marik: What?! It's me, you fool! Do I look like a (EFF)ing fangirl?!
    Yami Bakura Florence: You really don't want me to answer that.
    • Their exchange later in that same scene:
      Yami Bakura Florence: Why don't you go buy yourself some more spray-on tan?
      Marik: HEY (EFF) YOU! This tan is 100% genuine!
  • Yami Bakura's The Dark Knight shoutout;
    Bakura: You sound nervous. Is it the accent? Do you want to know how I got it? My father was a drinker; one night he went a little crazier than usual, so my mummy got the teapot to defend herself. He didn't like that, so he pours boiling hot tea all over her. Then he comes at me with a teapot and asks 'Why so British?'.
  • Bandit Keith kicks Sid, Zygor, and Zombie Boy out of his gang, simply for not liking Michael Bay.
    Bandit Keith: What do you mean you guys don't like Armageddon?!
    Sid: Actually, boss, we don't like Michael Bay movies in general.
    Bandit Keith: OH THAT DOES IT! Mess with Michael Bay and you mess with America! I want you guys out of my country by tomorrow morning.
    Zombie Boy: Brains! (But this is Japan!)
    Bandit Keith: Every country in the world belongs to America!
    Sid: Then how the bloody hell are we supposed to leave?!
    Bandit Keith: I don't know.

     Episode 38 - Magnum Farce 
  • The opening:
    Tristan: Oh, son of a bitch!
  • The Running Gag of the episode.
    Mai Valentine: My breasts are not fake!
    Everybody Else Except Tristan: Riiiiiight.
  • And another couple from the episode:
    Mai Valentine: It finally happened! I killed a man with my breasts!
    • After her breasts make a squeaky toy sound after landing on Joey.
      Jean-Claude Magnum: If you won't marry me, then I'm going to kidnap you instead, since that appears to be the default response to anything on this show!
  • After Jean-Claude Magnum is defeated:
    Jean-Claude Magnum: I can't believe you beat you beat me a second time!
    Tea: I can't believe we found a duelist even worse than Mai!
    Yugi: I can't believe we actually acknowledged this worthless episode!
    Tristan: I can't believe it's not butter!

  • Yami: Why is everybody in this guy's Deck a @#!*% ninja?
  • Yugi's epic rant about what a pointless filler episode this is:
    Yugi: I have a rather pertinent question? What does any of this have to do with anything? Seriously aren't we trying to save the world from destruction by vaguely evil forces? When did the love life of Mai Valentine become so freaking important?! Is the next plot point going to revolve around Bakura's stamp collection?

     Episode 39 - Card Games at 20, 000 Feet 
  • Episode 39 - Kaiba's two German bodyguards Gruber and Hans
    Hans: Do not disrespect ze Fuhrer or we shall be forced to shoot you in ze kneecaps!
    Gruber: HEIL KAIBA!
    Kaiba: You guys might want to tone it down a notch.
    Hans and Gruber: Ja, mein Fuhrer!
  • Marik asking Odion for advice on how to be bland and uninteresting:
    Marik: Odion! You're the master and being bland and uninteresting! I command you to tell me your secret!
    Odion: I don't know, normally I just stand here and say "Yes, Master Marik!"
    Marik: By god, that is all you do!
  • Speaking of which how about the way Odion used his status as Marik's decoy to insult his boss.
    Odion: I am Marik Ishtar. I like to take control of people's minds and dress in highly effeminate clothing. Also I have an irrational hatred for gummy bears. I'm pretty much the worst boss ever.
    Marik:No I'm not! I mean, uh, who is this strange person of whom I've never heard of? He seems like a big bald jerk.
    Odion: Yes. I, Marik Ishtar, am a huge jerk.
    Marik: Cut it out, you knob-head!
    Odion: Yes. I, Marik Ishtar, am a knob-head
    Marik: I command you to stop agreeing with me!
  • Yugi talking to Marik:
    Yugi: Seriously, I bet you could grate cheese on those abs!
    Marik: Yes, but the smell tends to linger something awful.
  • "Hahahaha! Soon I shall destroy you all!"
  • "Over-the-top anime reaction!"
  • Ishizu showing up late:
    Ishizu: Sorry I'm late, I was busy predicting the future.
    Hans: Then why couldn't you predict that you were going to be late!?

     Episode 40 - Final Deathstination 
  • Episode 40 has a few good ones (the nod to LK's AnimeNEXT cameo, Takahata101 guest starring a week after Dragon Ball Z Abridged finished the Saiyan Saga), Destiny Board message jab:
    Bakura: The Ouija board is about to spell out a name so evil, so foul, that they had to censor it twice to get it past standards. Now it just says FINAL.
    Yami: What did it say before?
    Bakura: DISNEY.
  • Or the poke at Naruto: The Abridged Series.
    Bakura: With this in play I can communicate with the dead.
    Yami: What are you going to do, ask the Naruto Abridged fanbase to come kick my butt?
    Yugi: They had a fanbase?
    Yami: Touché.
  • Also the beginning:
    Bakura: How come you're always making that stupid 'Nyeh' sound?
    Joey: Nyeh? What stupid nyeh sound?
    Bakura: The one you just made.
    Joey: Nyeh? What are you talking about, nyeh?
    Bakura: You're doing it right now.
    Joey: I don't get it. What noise? Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh... (over Bakura's next line)
    Bakura: The one that's coming out of your mouth at this very moment!
    Joey: But I can't hear anything. Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.... (Proceeds to "Nyeh" the opening theme, finishing with "I still don't hear anything!)
  • "IGNORE ME!"
  • This:
    Yami: "Hey, Bakura? Any last words before Slifer toasts your ass?"
    Bakura: "I want my mommy..."
    Yami: "That'll work."

     Episode 41 - Chenquieh! 
  • Zach and Cody: "Make him disappear!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!".
  • Also, Yugi:
    "Oh, faithful trading cards! You're the only real friends I have. Except for you Berfomet, you're kind of an asshole. What's that, Dark Magician Girl? You wanna make out?"
  • Finally, Pegasus asking Shadi why he took him to the Tomb of the Pharaoh if he knew it could break the fourth wall, and Shadi says "I am - how you say - kind of a dick."
  • Tristan and Duke hanging off a blimp:
    Tristan: "Duke, stop screaming!"
  • And the moment that doubles as a continuity nod: as Tristan and Duke "I'm Bringing Sexy Back" Devlin are hanging off a blimp...
    Tristan: "Duke, no matter what happens, I want you to know one thing. In another few hours, the sun will rise!"
    Duke: "What the f*ck does that mean?!"
    Tristan: [Crying] "I DON'T KNOW BUT IT'S TRUE!!!"
  • This scene:
    Croquet: Yeah...everyone involved in the production of the Egyptian God Cards was killed.
    Pegasus: What? Even Chad from accounting?
    [Cut to man being thrown out of skyscraper window]
    Croquet: Especially Chad from accounting.
  • Duke and Tristan are still hanging off the blimp:
    Tristan: "Hey, I can see my house from here! Hi Mum, hi Dad!"
    Tristan's parents, who sound exactly the same as him: "Hey, Tristan!"
  • Shadi rescues Duke and Tristan:
    Tristan: "I have a fairy godmother!"
    Duke: "Is she a milf?"
    Tristan: "She looks kinda like Piccolo."
    Duke: "Yah, that's a milf."
  • Pegasus: "Dirty hands! Dirty dirty hands!"
  • "This song is terrible! Don't you have any ABBA?"
  • Joey tries to insult Kaiba::
    Joey: Go yiff yourself, Kaiba!
    Kaiba: *walks off* Whatever that means.
    Joey: Nyeh, Google Image it, ya jerk!

     Episode 42 - So Long & Thanks for all the Trading Cards 
  • Kaiba's '+ 100 dead puppies', and '+ 9001 dead puppies' captions. As well as 'Egyptian Basketball'.
    Marik: Ancient Egyptian basketball sure is fun, Odion! *Gets bitten by a snake* Ahh! I just wish it didn't involve so many poisonous snakes!
  • The Moment Killer into the Oh, Crap! when Odion gets hit by lightning.
    Odion: I can only hope you're proud of me [mother].
    Marik: She's not even your real mom, douche bag!
    (Odion gets hit by lightning. The Millennium Rod shatters. Brain Damage by Pink Floyd starts.)
    Pharaoh: By the gods! The Millennium Rod is made of delicious cheese!
    (A vision of a young Marik is being taken away as present-day Marik looks on.)
    Young!Marik: Help me! Odion!
    Odion: (slowly collapsing) Forgive me, master Marik. I tried. I tried—
    (Odion faceplants, and the music cuts off)
    Odion: Ow, my face.
    Marik: (wide-eyed) Ohhhhhh (EFF)...
  • The new villain:
    Marik Melvin: Remember Team Four Star?
    Yami: Yeah, they got suspended. So what?
    Marik Melvin: That. Was. Me!
    (The rest of the cast gives shocked looks, except for Kaiba, who is smiling, with a caption reading +9001 Dead Puppies.)
    Tristan: "Oh my god! Who's Team Four Star?!"
  • Marik screaming as he is dragged away for the tombkeeper initiation- while music from Beverly Hills Chihuahua plays.
  • "Man, even in my own flashbacks I'm a minor character!"
  • "I'm going to go hold this baby up to the moon! I'm-a pretty sure thaeyt's one of our ancient traditions!"
  • Veronica talking to Odion:
    Veronica: Odion, your father does love you. He's just under a lot of stress at the moment with the redecorating.
    Hank: Hey Veronica! What do you think of burgundy for the sacrificial chamber?
    Veronica: Sounds good, dear.
    Hank: You don't even know what burgundy is, do you Veronica?!

     Episode 43 - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mai 
  • Episode 43:
    Joey: Hey Kaiba, since Marik entered the tournament under a fake name shouldn't he be disqualified?
    Kaiba: The only person who should be disqualified around here is whoever made Tristan black in this shot.
    Tristan: Don't you be hatin' on mah blackface, playah!
  • Téa: I am so angry, I could walk away like a pimp!
  • "Fo shizzah ma nizza! Ma brizzas be off the hizza!"
  • "Now, using my Millennium Rod, which I keep clenched between my buttocks..."
  • "Oh no! I'm late for a children's card game! Somehow this prevents me from simply lowering the knife and stabbing him! Punctuality! My Achilles Heel!"
  • The entire opening to episode 43.
    Joey: How bad is it, Dr. Feelgood?
    Dr. Feelgood: He was struck by lightning. In the head. It's not looking good.
    Téa: We have to help him!
    Dr. Feelgood: Medical science is already doing everything it can...
    Téa: Screw medical science, I'm talking about friendship!
    Dr. Feelgood: I-I beg your pardon?
    Téa: Friendship is the only cure for a lightning bolt to the face!
    Yami: That's right! Joey was struck by lightning and now thanks to friendship, he's okay!
    Joey: Yup! My brain am thinking good with stuff!
    Dr. Feelgood: Look, friendship isn't going to cure this man.
    Téa: Silence, non-believer! Go back to your leeches and your potions! The power of friendship and Tristan's beautiful singing voice will heal him!
    Dr. Feelgood: You guys are morons. Have fun staring at a guy in a coma.
    Tristan: (singing) Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend...
  • And then Kaiba's reaction to Mai getting a hold of The Winged Dragon of Ra Mega Ultra Chicken:
    Mai: I use Amazon Chainmaster's special effect to take one card from your deck! And the card I choose is Mega Ultra Chicken!
    Melvin: What?!
    Kaiba: Summonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonit
    Mai: And now, I'm going to summon it!
    Kaiba: Finally! Geez!
  • Yami Yugi getting burned:
    Yami Yugi: OHHHH! Whoah-ho-ho! I definitely should've seen this coming!
    Melvin: (laughs) Yes! Burn, Pharaoh! BURN!
    Yami Yugi: Look, I'm burning, okay? I can't exactly burn anymore than I'm doing right now.
    Melvin: BURN!
    Yami Yugi:I'm doing it! Jeez!
    Melvin: BURN!
    Yami Yugi: (passes out) Again, right on my keys...
  • "Yugi, what's THAT thing?!" and Yugi's responses.

     Episode 44 - Ishizu Explains it All 
  • The scene in episode 44 with the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From The Future.
    Robot: "And you were dating this really hot chick."
    Kaiba: "I was?"
    Robot: "Yes. She was totally into you, for some reason."
    Kaiba: "Huh. Did we have ever sex?"
    Robot: "YEEEESS!!"
    Kaiba: "Was it... good?"
    Robot: "NOOOOO!"
    Kaiba: "Hngh..."
  • Also, the CSI Miami Riff in the same episode:
    Kaiba: It looks like the rules—(pulls out a pair of sunglasses)—just got screwed!
  • Why don't we just say the entire scene where Kaiba kicks Ishizu's ass at a children's card game is both hilarious and possibly the abriged series' best Moment of Awesome. Which makes it more hilarious because of how insane Kaiba goes.
    Ishizu: How can this be, why would you do this?
    Ishizu: ...
    Kaiba: What? It's just as ridiculous as the crap that comes out of you.
    • Followed by Ishizu's reaction:
      "I lost! That giant rock lied to me!"
  • Episode 44:
    Ishizu: Our universe has grown tired and cliche. Our characters have become nothing more then vessels for lame catchphrases. For example, Joey saying, "Nyeh."
    Joey: Nyeh?
    Ishizu: Kaiba saying, "Screw the rules, I have money."
    Kaiba: Haven't said that in years.
    Ishizu: Or Tristan saying... pretty much anything...
  • From the same episode:
    Yami: That's Ishizu! She's the one who told me about my ancient past, even though I kind of already knew about it. She's a mysterious character shrouded in mystery, which is just another way of saying she's boring as all get out.
    Duke: I'd hit it.
    Marik: Ishizu! Help me!
    Melvin: Sorry Marik, but your sister's in another castle!
    Marik: (trapped in hourglass) No! What is this I don't even-
  • In episode 44 when Kaiba says "You were never in my tournament, Wheeler." To which Joey responds with a confused "Ah-bah-dah-nyeah?!"
  • "Now do you understand why so many people love me even though I'm the biggest dick in this entire show? It's because I'm Seto-freaking-Kaiba. Accept no substitutes!"
  • Ishizu telling everyone about her mission.
    Ishizu: I'm here to save my brother's soul. He has been consumed by a great evil, and I intend to rid him of it.
    Melvin: Good luck with that, chucklenuts! I've been om-nom-nomming on his soul for a good ten years now, and I happen to like the taste. Mmmmm, that's good Marik soul.

     Episode 45 - Requiem for a Nyeh 
  • Episode 45: two words; IN 3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Marik discovering television. "Sorry baby. I'm a rebel, a loner if you will, and I can't (static) Kill your family. Kill your family. Kill your family."
    Ishizu: Marik, are you OK?
    Marik: (monotone sounding voice)
    • The shopkeeper's (played by LINKARA!) response to him:
      Shopkeeper: "What's the matter kid? You never seen the "Kill Your Family Show" before?"
  • Marik finding the yaoi manga. "Hey Ishizu, what's that one guy doing to that other guy? I don't know what it is but it gives me cravings."
    • "Marik, don't flaunt your yaoi in public!"
  • Before they return home, and Marik is still gushing over his magazine image of a guy on a motorcycle:
    Ishizu: Marik, what are you doing?
    Marik: I'm riding an imaginary motorcycle; what the (EFF) does it look like I'm doing?!
  • There's also this exchange:
    Ishizu: * whispering* Remember, we must be very quiet so that we don't disturb our father.
  • Also had the running gag of how Odion, Marik, and Melvin all thought fluffing up a pillow on a bed was a great bluff. Ishizu plays the only sane man here and thinks they are being dumb, which makes it all the more amusing.
    Odion: I fluffed a pillow... it's f*ckin' FOOL PROOF.
  • Florence is sharing his body with Marik's soul. Melvin's response to this is:
  • "Argh! The yellow squiggly lines! They burn!"
  • "Oh no! I mustn't have seen that in the dark! Even though I've lived my entire in the dark and should therefore have no trouble seeing in it!"

     Episode 46 - Melvin'd 
  • After Zork and Pals was cancelled, Zork went on to star in The Suite Life of Zork and Cody.
  • Bakura and Marik arguing over whether or not to hug Evil Marik Melvin.
    • "Hug?"
      • "NO HUG!"
  • This deleted scene from episode 46.
  • Melvin finally gets a word in edgewise.
    Melvin: If you're done fighting with your girlfriend, we have a card game to finish!
    Florence: He's not my girlfriend!
    Marik: You tell him, honey!
  • Melvin executes perhaps the strangest Post-Mortem One-Liner of all time:


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