Portrayed by: Kel Mitchell
The naive cashier of Good Burger.
- Animal Talk: He apparently can talk to dogs, as he understood one telling him "4 clowns are stranded on the highway with a broken radiator".
- Catchphrase: "Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?"
- I'm a dude! He's a dude! She's a dude! Cause we're all dudes, hey!
- That'll be 8 bucks! (then the customer points out it's only $2.50)
- Cloud Cuckoolander: His head seems to be in the clouds.
- The Ditz: His defining trait is that his brain appears to be non-functioning at times.
- Dumbass Has a Point: He actually had a well thought-out reason for overloading Mondo Burger's meat supply with their burger-growth chemicals instead of simply stealing a can and showing it to the police. He's not as stupid as some make him out to be.
- Everyone Has Standards: He'll gladly tolerate the eccentricities of others and is quite eccentric himself, but he's visibly unsettled when the girl he meets at Demented Hills Asylum tells him that she's there for breaking into a zoo and freeing the kangaroos.
- Horrible Judge of Character: He believes that Kurt has the best of intentions, at first. It doesn't last once Kurt starts threatening to cost Ed his job.
- The first time Kurt meets him, he loudly trash-talks Good Burger and asks "what kind of diseased maggot would eat here?" Ed responds by cheerfully greeting him in his usual way as if he didn't hear any of it.
- Hidden Depths: He clearly has some culinary talent if his sauce is that good.
- Idiot Hero: He may not show much in the ways of intelligence, but in the end, he certainly comes through.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: He's absolutely thrilled when Dexter calls him "buddy".
- Incorruptible Pure Pureness: He's always in a good mood, never angry, and nice to everyone, even the people threatening to cost him his job.
- Kindhearted Simpleton: A huge idiot with an even huger heart.
- Limited Wardrobe: He almost never takes his uniform off, even in the shower.
- Literal-Minded: When Kurt tells Ed to "watch your butt," Ed nearly falls over with dizziness from trying.
- Ed also takes the "one burger nothing on it" by giving the customer two plain buns with nothing on them!
- Married to the Job: He even says Good Burger is his life, and apparently never takes off his uniform.
- Money Is Not Power: Ed has very little interest in money, and did not let himself get bribed by Kurt into giving him the recipe for his secret sauce. It also appears that Ed (unlike Monique assumed), did know about Dexter deliberately taking away most of his commission money on burger sales, Ed chose to let Dexter keep that money.
- Nice Guy: He treats everyone, even Kurt with respect.
- Too Dumb to Fool: Roxanne attempts to seduce him to get the secret recipe. She ends up hurting herself countless times.
- Ultimate Job Security: Since his sauce is the only thing keeping Good Burger from going out of business.
Portrayed by: Kenan Thompson
A high school graduate forced to work at Good Burger due to financial/legal problems and the movie's main protagonist.
- Burger Fool: Forced to become this when he becomes indebted to Mr. Wheat for car repair costs.
- Character Development: He goes from a selfish, lazy hedonist to a genuinely kind person through the course of the movie.
- The Hedonist: At the beginning, he plans to spend the whole summer hanging out by the pool, ordering Chinese takeout, and hitting on girls.
- Heel Realization: Has this when Monique chews him out for cheating Ed out of money.
- Hypocrite: He warns Ed that "Kurt doesn't like you, he's just trying to use you!" Meanwhile, he's using Ed as well to earn extra money.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: At first he uses Ed for his own selfish gain, but then he considers Ed a good friend and decides to stop taking advantage of him.
- The Lancer: He's the more down to earth sidekick to the loopy Ed.
- Loony Friends Improve Your Personality: He becomes a kinder and better person after befriending Ed, a dense but loving Cloudcuckoolander.
- Oh, Crap!: Too many moments to count. Highlights include when he totals his teacher's car, when Monique finds his "contract" with Ed, and when he's standing on top of a delivery van that's about to drive off.
- Skewed Priorities: Apparently, getting a summer job to pay off his teacher, while still an unpleasant prospect for a teenager, is worse than the fact that he could have gone to prison for driving without a license.
- Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: At first, he's nothing but a selfish and brash slacker annoyed that he has to get a summer job, but he gets better over the course of the movie and starts to think of others besides himself.
Portrayed by: Dan Schneider
The owner of Good Burger.
- Benevolent Boss: He's certainly nicer than Kurt.
- Large Ham: When he gets excited or panics, which is quite often.
- Momma's Boy: It's implied that his mother lives off of him, and when Mondo Burger begins stealing their business, he laments that he'll have to feed her cat food. He's also in the middle of a phone call with her when Ed's sauce attracts the attention of the whole Good Burger staff.
Portrayed by: Shar Jackson
- Deadpan Snarker: She has a dry and witty sense of humor.
- Satellite Love Interest: Dexter has romantic interest in her but she doesn't seem to have any characterization other than that.
- What the Hell, Hero?: She's the one that calls out Dexter for taking advantage of Ed.
Portrayed by: Abe Vigoda
Good Burger's elderly French Fry cook.
Portrayed by: Jan Schweiterman
The founder of Mondo Burger who is also secretly a black-market criminal.
- Bad Boss: He runs his business like a Nazi boot camp.
- Big Bad: As the film's central villain, he attempts to take out Mondo Burger's competitor, Good Burger, throughout the course of the film.
- Bigger Is Better: His response to Good Burger's ultra-popular sauce is to make Mondo Burgers even bigger.
- "You mess with Kurt, and you go into the grinder".
- Also, "I'm aware!"
- Control Freak: If there's one thing he can't stand in the least, it's an incompetent, bumbling, sloppy fast food employee. Dexter found that out the hard way.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: He's even got "friends" in high places to put away anyone trying to find out his secrets. Not only that, but he and his cohorts try to sabotage Ed's Sauce.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: "In Mondo Burger, there are no comedians."
- Evil Is Hammy: MAKE THE MONDO BURGERS BIGGER, BIGGER!!!!
- Hair-Trigger Temper: It doesn't take much to irritate him.
- Hitler Cam: The catwalk scene, where he lets his employees know that working at Mondo Burger is Serious Business.
- Hoist by His Own Petard: His business goes belly-up in the end thanks to the illegal chemicals he used to enlarge his burgers.
- Jerkass: He doesn't think much of his employees. And he knowingly poisons his own customers.
- Lack of Empathy: He states that he doesn't know what side effects his burger-growth chemical Trimpathol have on customers, nor does he care.
- Large Ham: He can be quite boisterous when it comes to running Mondo Burger.
- Mean Boss: He throws a whole lot of insults, boasts, and slam-downs to just about everyone.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Kurt has a massive ego and an inflated sense of entitlement.
- Smug Snake: You can tell by the smug grin on his face.
- Third-Person Person: His trademark manner of talking.
- Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: In a movie based on an All That comedy sketch of all things, he goes as far as to try to poison Good Burger's customers in order to ruin the business. In a sketch it might have been a small thing, but in the movie, the consumption of that poison was likely to either cause severe illness or death. While there were villainous characters on All That who would threaten others and succeed in taking lives, it was always Played for Laughs. In this case, it's not.
- We Can Rule Together: He tries to get Ed to work for him by promising a higher salary.
Troy and Griffin
Portrayed by: Hamilton von Watts (Troy) and J. August Richards (Griffin)
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: Griffin when training employees on making burgers.
Portrayed by: Carmen Electra
- Chew Toy: Who knew that going on a date with Ed would be so hazardous to one's health?
Portrayed by: Sinbad
Dexter's accident-prone teacher
- Butt-Monkey: His car and mailbox get destroyed twice, culminating in a giant burger statue from Mondo Burger's roof crushing his car. If it's any consolation, since insurance liability is shown to exist in the movie, it's likely that Mondo Burger will be required to pay for a new car for him.
- Cool Teacher: He at least thinks of himself as this.
- Disco Dan: When it comes to the 70s.
- Jerkass Has a Point: As harsh as he comes off, he has every right to be mad at Dexter for crashing into him on his way home, especially since Dexter didn't even have a license.
- Jive Turkey: He talks and acts like he's in the 1970's.
- The '70s: A decade he seems stuck in.
Portrayed by: Linda Cardellini
- Ambiguous Disorder: She claims to be a psychopath but displays symptoms of schizophrenia.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: She claims to have been sent to the Bedlam House because space aliens told her to break into the zoo and free the kangaroos.