- Dexter trying (and failing miserably) to make a Mondo Burger.Griffin: Bun! Patty! Toppings! Sauce! Assemble!Bun! Patty! Toppings! Sauce! Assemble!Bun! Patty! Toppings! Sauce! (eyes Dexter struggling) As-sem-ble...
- The end of Kurt's Mondo Burger orientation speech:Kurt: From now on, your LIFE is Mondo Burger! You can forget about your friends, you can forget about your family, because Kurt is now your mother and your father.
Dexter: (Whispering to a girl next to him) Kurt must look awfully strange naked.
- Ed trying to fix the milkshake machine.Ed: Strawberry Jacuzzi!
- The first meeting between Ed and Dexter, who was trying to remember where he's seen Ed before.Dexter: I could've sworn I've seen you somewhere before.Ed: Hey, I know! Maybe I'm someone famous. Y'know, like a baseball player or a pretty nurse!Dexter: WHAT!? Man, what in the world are you talking about!?Ed: Okay, I give up. Who am I?Dexter: I don't know who you are or where I know you from or why you think you're an attractive nurse!
- Ed's first encounter with Kurt.Kurt: Man, this place is the most nauseating, pathetic hole I've ever seen. I mean, what kinda diseased maggot would even consider eating here?Ed: Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger. Cann I take your order?Kurt: Hey, check it, boys! Right back there! (points at Dexter) It's the reject.Dexter: Hey, check it, Ed! It's the Mondo Idiot!Ed: Oh, nice to meet you, Mondo Idiot, I'm Ed.Kurt: Well, Ed, you better watch your butt, man!Ed: Okay.Dexter: Look, you got a purpose of being here?Kurt: Yeah, I do. I just thought you Good Burger losers should be aware that tonight's the grand opening of Mondo Burger. (Spatch growls) The second we open our doors, Good Burger goes in the grinder.Dexter: Again with this grinder! Look, man, you either order something or you can get outta here.Kurt: Yeah. Sure. You can take my order. I'll have the very last Good Burger to go. (takes a bite of the burger, slurps a soda then throws the cup on the floor as he leaves)Ed: (dizzy) I give up. There's no way a guy can watch his own butt.
- Ed in general.
- "Is it because I'm black?"note
- This exchange.Dexter: "Ed, I don't know how to say this..."
- When Kurt tries to get Ed to work for him.Kurt: How does ten bucks sound?Ed: (rustling a $10 bill next to his ear) I don't know. It kinda sounds like... (imitates rustling)
- Ed's extremely Limited Wardrobe. He wears his Good Burger uniform to bed and in the shower. And when he's on a date, he wears his Good Burger uniform with a tie.
- When Ed asks why Mr. Bailey fired the delivery guy, he responds, "because the boy showed up to work without his pants!"
- Nearly everything by Abe Vigoda's character, Otis.Otis: I need a hot Jacuzzi! *passes out*Troy: Who are you?Otis: Yer mama! Who are you?Otis: Could someone get me to a hospital? I think I broke my ass.Heather: They're coming! We'd better hurry!Otis: Don't have to tell me twice. *Supermans out window*
- The Connie Muldoon sequence, as anyone who's worked in fast food service can tell you is not too far from the truth.
- Dexter tries to play cards with three patients. But one of them keeps eating the cards, one keeps hitting his head with a ping pong paddle, and one keeps poking at Dexter.
- When Dexter talks about his Disappeared Dad, Ed says, "I don't remember what my dad looks like either...but at least I get to see him every day".
- Ed rollerblading to work at the beginning. Especially the part with the baby and the basketball players.
- Ed's attempt to blow a kiss at Roxanne.
- "It's okay, people! HER BUTT...IS FINE!!!"
Ed: What's wrong? Is it your butt again?
- When Dexter accidentally hits Roxanne's butt, as he was trying to hit Ed's to keep him from telling her the secret recipe.
- "Look! I'm Grape Nose Boy!"
- "I hate to do this, I hate to put a black man in jail!"
- After Good Burger makes only $43 in a single day thanks to Mondo Burger's competition, Dexter asks Mr. Bailey if now would be a good time to ask for a raise.
- The "Chariots of Fire" music playing during the slow-motion scene of Dexter and Ed running towards Shaq and hugging him.
- When Kurt's Co-Dragons tear off Ed and Dexter's old lady disguises - and Ed is wearing lingerie underneath his.
- When Ed, Dexter and Otis escape from Demented Hills, they decide to take an ice cream truck. Then comes all the flinging of various ice cream at the windshield to the point that it's become too thick to see out.
- Look carefully, and you'll see the ice cream truck is owned by the "O'Bese Bros".
- The scene where Ed pours the chemical into the meat supply and Mondo Burger becomes "a victim of its own foul play".
- "Kurt's going to jail, Kurt's going to jail, Kurt's going to jail, jail, jail..."
- "En-JOY your car!"
- Dexter's response to Mr. Bailey asking how long he's worked in fast food: "Nearly two days!"
- When Ed delivers Shaq's Good Burger.Shaq: Little man, I ordered tomatoes on this Good Burger, I don't see no tomatoes.Ed: Well, hang on... (Ed pulls a couple of Hammerspace tomato slices from his shirt pocket, and slaps them on Shaq's burger) There, consider yourself tomatoe'd! Ha!Shaq: You're not like other people, are you?
- The entire chase scene, which also includes some great lines:Ice Cream Man: Hey! What are you doing?!Otis: Stealing your truck!Dexter: Yeah, we'll bring it back!
Ed: Look, Dex! Ice cream! They got fudgy pops! Monstercicles!Dexter: Ed, this is no time for frozen confectionary treats, alright?!
- Ed rocking out to the ice cream truck music, much to Dexter's annoyance, and later still gawking over the inventory.
Ed: HOW Y'ALL LIKE ME NOW?! I'M A DUDE, THROWIN' ICE CREAM! HERE'S SOME VANILLA! TAKE SOME CHOCOLATE! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDGE!!!
- And Ed going berserk as he throws ice cream at the Demented Hills truck.
- Dexter and Ed climb on top of the roof of Mondo Burger.Ed: It's easy! You just jump on the burger, jump on the fries, then you hop on the cup, and shimmy up the straw.
- When a customer complains about getting a burger with literally nothing on it.
- When Ed reads over Dexter's contract. He appears to be reading it over, going "mm-hmm" repeatedly, but then..."I know some of these words."
Funny / Good Burger