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Silly Will

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"And finally, to my Lawyer, who has helped me on this will, I leave not a boot to the head, but a rabid Tasmanian Devil, to be placed in his trousers?! ...AAAUUUUUUGH!"
The Frantics, Last Will and Temperament

A will that contains ridiculous bequests, strange conditions and other weird oddities. This type of will often contains demeaning, cumbersome tasks to earn the fortune and might openly insult the inheritor. The inheritors are usually people you wouldn't expect to receive the inheritance, such as strangers, unknown relatives or even pets. The will may also contain bequests that no one would ever want or need. Sometimes, however, a twist will be used to make the bequeathed gift only look useless at first but turns out to contain something more valuable.

While not an everyday thing in the past, it was still not uncommon. Not really seen nowadays, as judges, juries, and probate courts are much less willing to put up with nonsensical bullshit that people try to sneak into their wills.

See also On One Condition and Bury Me Not on the Lone Prairie, which often overlap with this. The Spiteful Will can be silly but is more often Played for Drama rather than laughs. May involve Notary Nonsense, as getting such a will notarized will add some legal legitimacy.


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    Comic Books 
  • Batman: William "King" Barlowe's will in "Joker's Millions". 'Waxey' Gates gets the blackjack Barlowe took from him after Gates tried to brain Barlowe with it when they were kids just out of reform school. To make sure Batman knows how much Barlowe thought about him, Barlowe bequeathed him one penny. Later, when it's stated the Joker gets the bulk of Barlowe's estate, another beneficiary complains about getting just a broken-down tommy-gun.
  • In the Star Wars Legends comic, The Jabba Tape, Jabba the Hutt leaves his greedy nephew Gorgia "the entire holdings in the Bank of Jabba." Gorga starts celebrating, only to be informed that the Bank of Jabba is Jabba's piggy bank.

    Fan Works 
  • Adopted Displaced: In The Rock in the Gulch, Church set up one of these for himself while he was stuck in the past. It turns out to be a Shout-Out to the Muldoon's Will skit, with several characters getting boots to the head, his adoptive daughter Maud Pie getting recognition for the voice command prompts for future boots (which makes her very happy), and Caboose getting "a robot Tasmanian devil, which will now climb out of his trousers".
  • The Borderworld: Rest in Chaos consist of the will of the Trickster God Discord. He uses it to have his friends complete some bizarre and disturbing tasks and deliberately set up a The "Fun" in "Funeral" scenario, such as by requiring them to stuff his body to make it look like he's pointing and laughing at them and then mounting it above Celestia's throne, as well to cater the funeral to appeal to the alternate versions of himself that he knows will crash the funeral.
  • From Fantasy to Reality: Sirius Black leaves one rather reminiscent of Muldoon's Will (eleven people get boots to the head, Narcissa and Draco Malfoy get hit multiple times, and Harry gets a boot to Voldemort's head), and it's read out shortly before he's allowed to return to the world of the living.
  • The MLP Loops (part of The Infinite Loops): Loop 189.8 has Princess Celestia fake her death and leave one of these, which Twilight (who's in the know) is the one to read. It's also a direct Shout-Out to the "Muldoon's Will" skit, as Celestia leaves a boot to the head each to Luna, King Sombra, Shining Armor and Tirek... and a Twenty-One Party Cannon Salute to the head for Prince Blueblood. Unusually for this trope, the will also has some heartwarming bequests: Luna's boot comes with a note that Celestia has long since forgiven her for her past wrongdoings, and this is Luna's wake-up call to forgive herself. She also leaves a message that Celestia has always loved her, even in Luna's darkest moments. A similar message is left for Sunset Shimmer (who is not present at the will-reading; she and Celestia are vacationing on the human side of the Crystal Mirror).
  • Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: What Came After: Gallade's grandfather, a Wobbuffet, left him Wobbuffet Dojo which is built in a Wobbuffet's likeness, and the will stipulates that neither the name nor appearance can be altered.
  • Skyhold Academy Yearbook has a minor example in I Must Be Going (in which Varric rewrites The Princess Bride to be about his friends), where Dorian's character inherits a crossbow from his favorite author. When the real Dorian expresses bewilderment about this, Varric says that he's going to rewrite his real will specifically to leave his actual crossbow to Dorian. It Makes Sense in Context, more or less.

    Films — Live-Action 
  • Brewster's Millions (1985): Brewster inherits $30 million, 10% of the estate, and he must spend all of it within a month to get the remaining 90%. The hurdle is that he can't acquire assets, donate, or simply throw the money away, and nobody else may know what he's doing. He spends the movie hiring assistants, renting hotels, and baffling his friends who think money drove him insane.
  • In The Ghoul, Professor Morlant makes some very strange stipulations in his will, mostly connected with his burial, all of which relate to his belief that he is going to be resurrected by an ancient Egyptian jewel.
  • House on Haunted Hill (1959) is about a millionaire who leaves a fortune to be shared among some stock horror-film victims if they can spend a night in his haunted house and still be alive the next day.
  • Incendies: Played for drama. Nawal's will divides her estate equally between her daughter and son, but also charges them to deliver two letters, one to the father they've never met and one to the brother they never knew they had. Only then will they receive a final letter for themselves. Her son thinks that it's a stupid goose-chase and presses the executor to just give him the final letter, but they have to take it seriously.
  • In Laughter in Paradise, wealthy, well-known practical joker Henry Russell dies, leaving considerable sums of money to four relatives...provided they commit acts completely contrary to their natures. A law-abider has to get himself arrested and jailed for 28 days, a snob has to find work as a maid and keep her job long enough to qualify, a womanizing cad has to marry the first single woman he meets, and a meek and submissive coward has to hold up the bank where he works with a toy pistol.
  • The plot of Scavenger Hunt (1979) involves, well, a Scavenger Hunt for all sorts of outrageous items arranged by late game inventor Milton Parker (Vincent Price), the grand prize being his estate and the $200 million contained in his will.
  • In What a Carve Up!, not only does Gabriel Broughton leave absolutely nothing to his family in his will (and make them all travel to his Old, Dark House to hear this), but he bequeaths his nurse Linda all of his medicines, syringes and empty medicine bottles. Linda, at least, sees the funny side of this.
  • In Young Frankenstein, the aged Baron Beaufort von Frankenstein leaves instructions that his estate shall be given to his distant great-grandson rather than shared among a cadre of mooching relatives, if said great-grandson has become a respected doctor of his own accord. One of the relatives tries to pass this clause off as insanity but the executor reminds her that civilization is based on law and so it shall be followed. The scene was removed from the final film. Said Baron also wanted the will not to be revealed until 100 years from when he was born, meaning Frederick had to meet the terms until then. The other relatives didn't like having to wait until then to either get the estate or learn they wouldn't.

  • Black Widowers:
    • "To The Barest": When Ralph Ottur (the founder of the Black Widowers club) dies, he leaves a will which requires the members to solve a riddle in order for one of the members to receive a bequest. To raise the stakes, if the riddle wasn't solved, the money would go to the American Nazi Party.
    • "The One And Only East": The members have to help a friend whose eccentric uncle required him to solve a riddle in order to receive an inheritance. If he fails, the fortune will go to charities that the uncle knows his straitlaced nephew will disapprove of.
  • Discworld:
    • Unseen Academicals: One of the bequests requires that the wizards engage in hunting the Megapode: carried by University porters, they chase a man with a big bird-shaped hat. The one that sets off the plot, however, requires that the wizards play football (they're not required to win, but try getting Archchancellor Ridcully to understand that).
    • Other Discworld works mention additional silly bequests at UU, such as a fund to maintain a ritual to place a penny and a pastry on a shelf in a room known as Archchancellor Bowel's Remembrance for reasons unknown (both the name and the ritual) on the third Thursday of every month, and a dying curse to always have a fretwork class.
    • In Making Money, Topsy Lavish has an apparently Silly Will that is actually a very clever way of keeping the bank out of the hands of her greedy, incompetent (and in one case, actually insane) family. She leaves her dog Mr. Fusspot to Moist von Lipwig, and leaves fifty percent of the shares in the bank to Mr. Fusspot, who already owned one, thereby making him the Chairman and Moist his "interpreter." Additionally, a contract is lodged with the Assassins' Guild to kill Moist if he fails to take care of Mr. Fusspot, meaning nobody else can have Moist Assassinated—and the Assassins' Guild would never accept a contract to kill a pet. Also, it's a clever way of giving control of her bank to Moist - as the chairman of the Mint, he can't be in control of the bank, as that would be a conflict of interest... but he can work for the chairman of the bank... Moist suspects, not without good reason, that this is at least partly Vetinari's doing.
  • Subversion: Dumbledore's will in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows seems to be this at first, but each item proves to be very significant later.
  • The Hercule Poirot short story, "The Case of the Missing Will", has an eccentric old man write a will which gives his niece a month to "prove her wits", after which the estate goes to charity. She interprets this, correctly, as meaning she has to find a second will dated after this one in which she's the beneficiary.
  • Lord Peter Wimsey:
    • In "The Piscatorial Farce of the Stolen Stomach", a wealthy man leaves his stomach to his great-nephew, a medical student. When Lord Peter decides he wants to see the actual wording of the will, he poses as an author collecting examples of comic wills. Actually a Secret Test of Character of sorts. Just before his death, the uncle had purchased a set of twelve matching diamonds worth millions, then swallowed them and jumped out a window. Since the will specified that the great-nephew in question inherited not only the stomach but all contents therein, he could collect the fortune by discovering the diamonds' hiding place.
    • Another Wimsey story has the eccentric uncle leave his fortune to the (Conservative) Primrose League, just to annoy his Communist niece. There's a covering note, explaining that there's a later will leaving the money to her, if she can be frivolous enough to find it.
  • In The Lord of the Rings, Bilbo Baggins isn't dead, but is going to live with the Elves and disposing of some of his possessions in the Shire. His directions for settling them (that the reader sees, anyway) are all snarky comments on how his family and friends treated his property when he was around, like giving his bookshelf to someone who kept borrowing his books and not returning them. Later in the passage, it's stated that while a significant number of his bequests were in this vein, many more of them were actually aversions, where items were given to those who actually would appreciate them and use them.
  • A Miss Marple story has a young couple tearing apart an inherited Big Fancy House looking for an uncle's inheritance (the garden looks like a war zone, and since it's already dug up they're considering planting vegetables). Miss Marple ends up putting them on the right track by showing them the secret drawer in an old desk, which a younger expert hadn't found. They find a bunch of love letters and recipes, which depresses the couple to no end... until Miss Marple, who is reminded of her own uncle with less-than-amusing trickster tendencies, tells them to look at the (extremely rare and valuable) stamps on the letters.
  • "Mr. Bovey's Unexpected Will", by Elizabeth Thomasina Meade Smith (writing as L. T. Meade) and featuring her detective character Miss Florence Cusack, features a will naming three claimants and declaring that the person among them whose body weight is closest to the weight of the dead man's fortune in gold sovereigns (180 pounds) will inherit the whole sum. Dr. Lonsdale lampshades the silliness, commenting that "Whoever this Mr. Bovey was, there is little doubt that he must have been out of his mind. I never heard of a more crazy idea."
  • "Sally": In the Back Story, the rich Samson Harridge decides to leave his entire estate to his car after his death. While the newspapers mocked it at first, sending your Automated Automobiles to Farm for Retired Automobiles after you died became almost normal. The people who didn't tended to have children or grandchildren who would take care of it.
  • In Time Enough for Love, Lazarus Long tries to put together his will so that all his assets will be left to Prostitutes, Panhandlers, and other undesirables beginning with 'P'. When someone points out that probably won't survive legal arbitration, he decides to leave it to a cat shelter instead.
    • Though he has a fairly good reason for the silliness: it's to keep his assets out of the hands of his less scrupulous relatives in case his preferred heir is unable to inherit for some reason.
  • In The Ultimate Gift, when his rich granddad, Howard "Red" Stevens, died, Jason thought he was going to inherit a piece of the old man's multi-billion dollar estate, but it came with a condition. In order to get his share of the willed inheritance, Jason has to complete 12 separate assignments within a year.
  • In the Nora Roberts book A Will and a Way, the dead rich man's will primarily focuses on giving almost all of the money to two relatives who are always fighting if they can learn to live together, and most of his other relatives he leaves some minor and/or ridiculous bequests (of which only the Marie Antoinette Mirror is appreciated by said heir).
    To my son Carlson, whose mediocrity was always a mystery to me, I leave my entire collection of magic tricks in the hopes he can develop a sense of the ridiculous. To my nephew Monroe, who has the first dollar he ever made, I leave the last dollar I ever made, frame included. To my niece Patience I leave my cottage in Key West without much hope she'll have the gumption to use it. To my grand-nephew Biff I leave my collection of matches in the hope that he will, at last, set the world on fire. To my pretty grandniece Ginger, who likes equally pretty things, I leave the sterling silver mirror purported to have been owned by Marie Antoinette. To my grand-nephew Hank, I leave the sum of $3,528. Enough, I believe, for a lifetime supply of wheat germs.
  • In The Witches Of Chiswick by Robert Rankin, Hugo Rune's last will and testament is this. It's self-aggrandizing and obnoxious, tries to bequeath Rune's debts to various people, and then goes on to present the elaborate and ridiculously expensive funeral arrangements he had planned out (something more suited to royalty or an Egyptian pharaoh than the conman he was), with the expectation that someone else would pay for it all.

    Live-Action TV 
  • In Community:
    • Pierce's father's will stipulates that whoever kills him will receive his ridiculous ivory toupee. Because Jeff was shouting at him when he had his fatal heart attack, it goes to him. He also gives Pierce's inheritance to him On One Condition: that he win a video game competing against seven of his closest friends, because Pierce once annoyed him by suggesting that he invest in the video games industry.
    • Pierce himself also inserts On One Condition into his will twice. First, his friends must all answer a series of questions while hooked up to lie detectors. This is ostensibly to determine if they played any part in his death, but is mostly an excuse to mess with them one last time. Secondly, Troy must sail around the world in Pierce's yacht to receive the bulk of his fortune. He also gives them all a container of his sperm. This makes a tiny bit of sense for the first person (Britta, who Pierce thought was a lesbian), but less and less until the end when it's listed as "obligatory sperm."
  • Crazy Like a Fox: In "Turn of the Century Fox," a friend of Harry dies and leaves behind several cryptic items, along with a challenge for Harry to discover the key of his success.
  • In the episode of The Drew Carey Show "Drew's Inheritance", Drew's uncle, an avid movie buff, dies and leaves several silly wills to Drew's friends and family based on movies.
    • Though he leaves the bulk of his ten million estate to Bill Gates, for the invention of the computer, the thing that brought Drew's uncle the most joy.
      Drew: They just had a new baby, maybe he can use this money to wipe its ass!
    • To Drew's older brother Steve, he leaves ten thousand dollars, on the condition that Steve dress like a man, pretending to be a woman, pretending to be a man, like in Victor/Victoria. Since Steve is a guy in a suit he just takes the money.
    • To Drew's friends Lewis and Oswald, as an homage to Charlie Chaplin films, he leaves each of them five thousand dollars if they can stay silent for twenty four hours starting immediately.
    Oswald: Piece of cake! (lawyer tears up his check)
    Lewis: (to Oswald) Idiot. (lawyer tears up his check)
    • Finally to Drew, his uncle leaves ten thousand dollars on the condition that he gets married in seventy-two hours, similar to the film Seven Chances. The rest of the episode is spent with him and his fiancée Kate setting up a fake wedding (because they want the money but don't want to rush their wedding) to get the money. Sadly, Oswald and Lewis find out and blab that the wedding is fake, not knowing it's to get the money, ruining Drew's chances of getting the money.
  • On The Golden Girls, Rose mentions her late husband Charlie set up a gag will that left everything to the family cow. Unfortunately, some lawyer managed to get a hold of the will and tried to make sure the cow got everything. Rose explains she had to testify in front of what is implied to be a jury of farm animals. Thankfully, Rose won the case, and celebrated... with a steak dinner.
  • On The IT Crowd, a Video Will contained a long sequence of the deceased eating an apple for no apparent reason. It also contained some incriminating evidence about accounting irregularities.
  • It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia: The reading of the Will of Barbara Reynolds (Frank's Wife and the Mother of Dee and Dennis) is regarded by Frank and Dee to be a conversation with the deceased that the lawyer is somehow mediating. The increasingly-exasperated lawyer attempts to explains that he is merely reading the works of the will and Barbara can not respond to any objections as she is still dead.
  • Murder, She Wrote: After the boss of Jessica's cousin is killed in a horseback riding "accident" (Jessica of course reveals that it wasn't an accident), his lawyer plays his video will. In the will, he leaves a touching message to his best friend (along with an antique gun that his friend was fond of) and a promise of cash gifts to his house staff and head security guard. With that said, he then uses the will to give a "The Reason You Suck" Speech to every one of his terrible relatives (his older daughter is a ditzy spiritualist, his son is a greedy businessman gone broke, his younger daughter is a man-chasing alcoholic, and his granddaughter is a punk wannabe musician), calling them out for all wanting his money and probably not even feeling sorry that he died. He then tops it off by leaving every remaining part of his fortune to his beloved beagle, Teddy, and saying that if Teddy should die of anything but natural causes, then the money will be donated to an animal charity and the relatives won't see a cent. They react exactly as one would expect.
  • In The Legacy of Reginald Perrin, Perrin leaves a fortune to be shared among his friends, on the condition that they each do something sufficiently absurd.
  • Back when the title character of My Name Is Earl was still married to Joy, Earl's will consisted of a very brief recording (made on a stolen video camera, taped over a home movie of an elderly woman's birthday party) of Earl drunkenly stating how much he loved Joy and that everything he owned would be hers if anything happened to him, before the couple proceeded to have drunk sex on The Couch. This causes problems for him later, seeing as she tries to kill him in order to get the lottery money he won and claimed after she divorced him for Darnell. Earl gets a real, legitimate, sober will drawn up while Joy waits for a background check on a handgun, ensuring that even if she did kill him, she would get nothing.
  • Our Miss Brooks: In "Mr. Casey's Will", Angela Devon has a will written on behalf of her late beloved cat Mr. Casey. Mr. Casey bequeaths his most valuable possessions; a ball of yarn, a chewed up tennis ball and an empty milk cartons, to Walter Denton, Mr. Boynton and Mr. Conklin respectively.
    Mr. Conklin: What kind of bovine jest is this?
    • Miss Brooks, on the other hand, is bequeathed the contents of Mr. Casey's treasure chest. This turns out to be his widow Mrs. Casey and their five kittens.
      Miss Brooks: Contrary to public opinion, Mighty Casey did not strike out!
  • Slings & Arrows has Oliver, who asked to have his head severed upon his death so it can be stripped of flesh and used in a production of Hamlet.
  • On Titus, when Christopher Titus's mother committed suicide, one of the apparently many oddities in her will was for Christopher to eat Apples. The catch? Apples was her own mother's pet dog when she was little. The lawyer then gives him a frozen (enveloped in silver foil) dog corpse.
  • In WKRP in Cincinnati, a millionaire leaves a Video Will to tell his relatives he's leaving them absolutely nothing. (And also tell them exactly how he feels about them.) He also leaves Jennifer (who he had been dating, and said relatives had accused of being a Gold Digger) exactly one dollar, the special first dollar he ever made, along with instructions for what to do with the rest of his belongings, which she starts to arrange later.

  • One episode of The Burkiss Way featured the reading of the will of a Lord Hackingbottmo. The will begins with a long list of people who have been left nothing, in increasingly elaborate language ("...nil pennies; the zero sum..."). This is followed by a list of people who have been left vaguely described but clearly unpleasant things ("...a rather nasty substance...something not nice in any way shape or form—and a four year supply of refills..."). An attempt to find someone who has been left something nice then turns the reading into a performance of "Chattanooga Choo-choo." This is disrupted by someone finally pointing out that Lord Hackingbottmo is the person reading the will out in the first place.
  • The provider of the page quote is "Last Will and Temperament" by The Frantics. The routine plays with the trope quite well, and can best be appreciated by listening for yourself.
  • The Goon Show: In "Drums Along the Mersey" Seagoon is left a million pounds, but he's then told he's not allowed to spend it until his hundredth birthday.
  • John Finnemore's Souvenir Programme: One sketch in series 8 has a man bequeathing his fortune to whichever of his kin is the last to say "word" after his will is read out. Followed by a massive post-script guessing who cracked first, and trolling and hectoring the others into slipping up. Ultimately, the money goes to his dog, who doesn't say 'word'.

  • There are various mathematical puzzles about strange conditions in a will. One of them is as follows:
    A will stated that half of the horses in an estate should go to the eldest son; a third should go to the second son; and a ninth should go to the third son. Unfortunately, there were 17 horses in the estate, which cannot easily be divided in this way. How was this resolved? The lawyer added his own horse, taking the total to 18. The eldest son received 9 horses, the second son 6, and the third son 2; 17 in all. The lawyer then took his own horse back.

    Tabletop Games 
  • One third of Dunkelzahn's Will from Shadowrun was like that. The rest was either Dunkelzahn dropping cash on deserving causes and individuals, or part of a trigger for a massive pile of assorted gambits that basically turned the megacorporate status quo inside out, caused a war or two and may have ended up saving the world. And it's still not entirely clear which parts are which.

    Video Games 
  • Jagged Alliance: In the second game, Col. Leon Roachburn turns out to have cut all three of his children out of his will, and left his whole, considerable estate to Pamela Anderson.

  • Maxine's will in Leftover Soup is unusual, though she's apparently sincere about it.
  • A funeral takes a turn for the morbidly surreal when someone's will promises their possessions to neither friend or family, but whoever between their skeleton and ghost wins in a duel. Their flesh peeks out of the coffin to watch.
  • xkcd strip "Dying Gift" is about a dying man who pranks his loved ones by bequeathing them ridiculous things that will be as difficult as possible to put into storage. One gets a Foucault pendulum, and instructions that it has swung continuously for 50 years and they must keep it swinging as long as they remember him.
    Alt Text: "And to you, I leave my life-sized ice sculpture replica of the Pietá which was blessed by the Pope. You must never let it melt! Now, remember, all gifts must be removed from my estate within 24 hours."

    Western Animation 
  • In The Boondocks, Granddad's old war frenemy leaves him an unspecified "something good" in his (video) will in return for Granddad delivering a kind and respectful eulogy, which he knows Granddad will hate. The inheritance turns out to be deez nuts, nyiggah! (As in a literal jar of nuts). Heartwarmingly though, it is shown that Robert did keep them.
  • The Futurama episode "The Honking" begins when Bender is left a haunted castle, belonging to his uncle Vladimir, on the condition that he spend one night in it (Vladimir also stipulated that Bender only inherited the castle if he wasn't responsible for the former's death). The will also contains the clause 'To my loyal butler, You There, for his decades of service, I leave a pittance, to be paid in 20 equal installments of one-twentieth of a pittance each.'
  • In King of the Hill, after Cotton dies, in the episode "Serves Me Right for Giving General George S. Patton the Bathroom Key," he leaves Hank a will full of insane requests that make Hank suffer in one way or another (from slapping an old nurse's ass to getting kicked in the shin), all of which culminate in dropping his ashes inside a toilet of a bar where all his other fallen army comrades have been flushed through (and constantly clogged the toilet many times, to the chagrin of the bar owner who has tried to keep the incidents from happening).
  • Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!: In one episode, Scooby is left in the will of a recently-deceased Civil War veteran, who's invited him (and, by extension, the Mystery Gang) to the late man's island mansion. There, they meet the man's next of kin and lawyer. It's revealed that if they can all spend the night in the house (which is stated to be haunted), then they will be given the entirety of the man's life savings (exactly one million dollars) to split amongst themselves. The gang spends the episode investigating the "Phantom Shadow" that haunts the house, and eventually learn that the other house guests (who had allegedly been taken by the ghost) were actually chased away by the late man's lawyers, who wanted to scare everyone away and keep the money for themselves. Seeing as how Scooby was the only one left who was listed in the will, he's given the money... which is actually Confederate money and completely worthless.
  • The Simpsons:
    • "Bart the Fink" begins with the Simpsons at the reading of their late Aunt Hortense's will, which stipulates they will receive one hundred dollars each on the proviso they spend a night in a haunted house. When Marge questions this, the executor just replies it's a standard clause. The rest of their aunt's money is sent to Ann Landers.
    • In "Selma's Choice", Marge's Aunt Gladys left a video will which allowed for Homer to fast-forward through a poem and for Lionel Hutz to attempt to dub-over the video in an attempt to assign himself several thousand dollars (which apparently works often). Glady's genuine bequeathments are notably bizarre, including a collection of potato chips shaped like celebrities and her pet iguana.

    Real Life 
  • Charles Vance Millar was a Canadian lawyer who had made a lot of money from his legal practice and even more money from some good investments (e.g. investing in the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel). When he died, he had no close relatives to whom he could leave his estate. He therefore determined to write as silly a will as he could imagine (but which would pass muster in probate). His will included things such as:
    • Giving three lawyers known to despise each other lifetime joint tenancy together in his vacation house in Jamaica. Note that joint tenancy is a form of ownership giving the "tenants" — owners, really — equal rights to it, and grants the last of the tenants to die a right of survivorship: i.e. the survivor takes the property outright (creating a perfect situation for a Tontine). But Millar had provided for that, as well: the house was to be sold at the end of the survivor's life and the proceeds to be distributed to Toronto's poor. (Fortunately for the lawyers in question, the house had been sold sometime previously, meaning that they couldn't get the house or anything else from Millar's estate.)
    • Giving two known opponents of horse racing $25,000 worth of Ontario Jockey Club stock. (He also gave shares to someone too shady for the Club's tastes.)
    • Giving every practicing minister in three towns a share in another nearby jockey club... which shares turned out to only be worth half a cent each, but only after the ministers had all publicly agonised about the bequest.
    • Giving a group of prominent Protestant prohibitionists $700,000 worth of shares in O'Keefe Brewery, which was Catholic-owned — on the condition that they participate in the brewery's management and draw on its stock dividends. (Fortunately for the prohibitionists, he had also sold the stock shortly before his death.)
    • Saying that the remainder of his (quite considerable) estate was to be converted to cash 10 years after his death and given to the woman in Toronto who gave birth to the most children in that time. This became known as the "Great Stork Derby". This was generally seen as his protest against people who criticized the childless and encouraged childbearing. In the end, four women who birthed nine children each got $100,000 from the estate while two other women settled out of court for $12,500.
  • Ingrid Newkirk (as in, the head of PETA) has a will that is... disturbing. According to her will (viewable online on the PETA website) she wants to donate her body to "alleviate animal suffering". Specifically, she wants her flesh (or at least part of it) to be barbecued, her skin turned into handbags, her lower legs turned into umbrella stands, her eyes sent to the Environmental Protection Agency, and her hands sent to the owners of Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus. (Did we mention that most of PETA's detractors call Newkirk batshit insane?)
  • An anonymous alumna of Wellesley College left an endowment to the small women's college so that up to seven flavors of ice cream be available to students at all times of day and night.
  • Speaking of folks who were batshit insane, the last will and testament of Adolf Hitler could be considered silly in that it was ironic. More than likely, he knew most of it would be ignored (most of the depositions he made would commit suicide, be killed trying to flee the bunker, or face prison time and/or execution later) and most comments contained within were Blatant Lies. The only part truly acknowledged was his marriage (although Eva Braun wasn't named).
  • Iowa attorney T.M. Zink probably didn't know that after his death in 1930, he would be notorious for being a He-Man Woman Hater. Not only did he leave his wife and daughter out of it, but he wanted his family to build the Zink Womanless Library which would not only bar women from entry, but would also not contain any books or artwork by women. Naturally, the requirement was that the investment to build the library had to be used within 75 years and society had more than marched on by that time, so his daughter challenged the will in court and won by having him declared of unsound mind — the inheritance went to her.
  • Wealthy Englishman Henry Budd left his estate to his two surviving sons Edward and William when he died in 1862, but he hated mustaches so much that he forbade both from ever growing one (his will stated that if either of them did, that son and his future heirs would be disinherited and his fortune would be diverted to his brother and his heirs). He never lived to see the facial hair renaissance that later happened in his hometown Brixon.
  • When Texas hatmaker Solomon Sanborn died in 1871, he requested his skin be made into two drums that would then be given to a friend of his, who was a local drummer. He was instructed to go to Bunker Hill every June 17 at dawn and play "Yankee Doodle Dandy" on the drums to commemorate the patriots' efforts in the legendary Revolutionary War battle.


Video Example(s):


Martin's 'will'

A parody of this usually-serious trope. Martin reluctantly agrees to take a video will at the behest of his son, Niles. He doesn't take it too seriously.

How well does it match the trope?

5 (3 votes)

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Main / VideoWills

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