Web Video: The Angry Joe Show
aka: Angry Joe Show
A gamer who lives on a spaceship, possesses an off-the-wall reviewing style and a mite
too much energy, "Angry" Joe Vargas got his start by submitting a video review for Army of Two
giving constructive criticism that was surprisingly what the developers really wanted to hear. Angry Joe now does reviews and other videos on his own website
and is a major contributor for That Guy with the Glasses
Back in November 2010, he and the other video games segments of TGWTG were spun off onto their own separate website, Blistered Thumbs
, with Joe as the site's executive leader. Now, however, he has left Blistered Thumbs to focus on managing his own site located here.
In addition, he is a member of Polaris
Provides Examples Of:
- Adorkable: Just watch his gushing fanboy review of Man of Steel.
- Angry Fist-Shake:
- "Damn you, Chick-Fil-A!"
- And again in his Dragon's Dogma review, after the game somehow transports his friend, who had been taking a shower at the time and is thus naked, into his living room.
- With both hands when parodying the fan reaction to DMC Devil May Cry.
- Atomic F-Bomb: Near the end of his review for Mindjack.
- One of particular note is his Iron Man 2 review... which only bleeps out the middle third.
- Cut Short: His video on the forthcoming 3D re-release of the Star Wars films begins with one.
- Author Appeal: For some unfathomable reason, and very unlike what you'd expect of him, Joe loves dancing games.
Joe: What's that!? You think this is a game? This isn't a game! It's the way of life!
- Badass Mustache: Pointed out in his Final Fight review: Mike Haggar has a Badass Mustache, and so does he.
- He does not like it when people make fun of it (See Berserk Button below)
- In "Hotel Awesome Season 2, Episode 4" we see that his mustache is so badass that if someone else tries to tear it off, he can magically grow a new one. It seems it's now made of Adamantium.
- Now it's turned into a Badass Beard.
- Bad Bad Acting: Other Joe isn't really an actor, and doesn't try to be. It's pretty funny seeing him in contrast to the Large Ham of Angry Joe.
- Berserk Button:
- Try to make Joe watch a movie in 3D. What sets Joe off about 3D is the surcharge added on to the price of a movie ticket as well as its improper implementation (e.g. colors are too dark, motion effects that are too fast, etc.).
- However, he will praise 3D visuals when they are executed well, such as the slow motion effects in Dredd.
- Or you can try to make him play any full-price game that can be beaten in under 12 hours.
- SONIC FREE RIDERS! The entire review is one giant tangent about how horrible it is.
- Mindjack sure as hell came close to outsuckying SFR for him, and while SFR could be given a pass for being a bad implementation of new technology, Mindjack is in a firmly established genre, which has no excuse.
- Ghostbusters: Sanctum of Slime made Joe so unbelievably mad that, instead of just doing a review, he first did a Let's Play to show just how bad the game is THEN did an angry review.
- Mass Effect 3 and its ending. So bad, that Joe had to write a separate video, detailing the main reasons why he thinks it sucks so bad; and to further hammer in his distaste for the ending, the video was very clearly Joe Vargas speaking & not the Angry Joe persona.note Also, keep in mind that he highly praised the extended cut for pretty much solving most of the complaints everyone had, stating that it seems like the developers really took the time to listen to the fans and give them what they wanted.
- In his 'Comic Jumper' review, do not make fun of his mustache or else you're in a beatdown, as Bizarro Joe learned the hard way.
- Joe himself has specifically stated that he despises Capcom's DLC practices, and the increasingly common codes required for online play.
- On-Disc DLC in general...and bad DLC. See below for one game he ALSO complains about having it.
- Kinect games, particularly those that require the player to lean.
- However, he gives a pass to Dance Central, even giving it the "Badass Seal of Approval".
- Evil Superman's "Kneel before me", victory pose. So far its the only thing Joe dislikes about Injustice: Gods Among Us.
- He's never liked online passes and despises things that prevent used games from being played/sold easily, so he completely blew his stack when he heard that the Xbox One charged a fee for disc-sharing. Although he's calmed down about it now since it's been confirmed that there is no fee for disc-sharing.
- Ride To Hell Retribution infuriates Joe for being utterly terrible not because of glitches or bugs or being incomplete, but for simply being bad, with a boring story, lackluster voice acting, shoddy sound production, low-res textures, practically nonexistent enemy AI, uninspired quick time events, and very disturbing sex scenes (in addition to being poorly animated, many occur immediately after saving the girl from danger).
Angry Joe: This thing has nothing to offer ANYONE!
- As of Total War: Rome II, we can add overly-streamlining a game to the detriment of strategic play, especially when it involves removing features.
- Nobody rapes Santa on his watch.
- His rant about the copyright marks against his most successful videos. He also states that if his next review is flagged by another copyright claim, he'll show Youtube how angry he can really be
- Rambo: The Video Game. Joe hates, hates this game for representing everything wrong with licensed games: its horrid, outdated gameplay, its game-crashing bugs, the absurdly hard final level, and the fact that aside from said level, the total gameplay time was only two hours. The only reason why he only rated it a 2/10 instead of a 1 was because it made him laugh at how bad it was, although he questions if it was good for his health, as evidenced by his degrading mental state playing the game.
Angry Joe: Rambo: The Video Game has NO reason to exist! NONE! WHATSOEVER!
- Entries in previously multiplatform franchises becoming exclusive to one system, something he's ranted about with Rise of the Tomb Raider being (initially) exclusive to the Xbox One, Street Fighter V being exclusive to the PS4 console-wise, and (in an unposted video), Bayonetta 2 being exclusive to the Wii U, although he backed off after he learned that if it wasn't for Nintendo, Platinum Games wouldn't have been able to make it.
- Fable III Got Joe so mad at its dissapointment he listed 32 reasons why he hates it and thinks it sucks. He never even bothered to give it a review.
- Big Bad: Corporate Commander.
- Big "NO!":
Joe: "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! Nooo! Nooo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
- Realizing it's Sunday, so Chick-Fil-A is closed.
- He lets out the Darth Vader one when seeing the dance mode in Kinect Star Wars. It even blows up Admiral Ackbar's ship.
- He gave out such a huge one in his Blood Bowl match against Crendor when he rolled 3 Attacker Downs that Crendor gave him the Broken Microphone Award.
- His reaction to Bayonetta 2 being a Wii U exclusive.
- Big Word Shout: "GOOOOOOOOOOOO!" in The Stinger.
- Bleep Dammit: FU***UCK
- "People that are rating it 0, 1, 2, 3 are extremely dishonest. They're little *** *** *** *** fuckers, okay?"
- Boisterous Bruiser: Especially in crossovers with other TGWTG contributors.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Joe may be hammy, crazy, and more energetic than a room full of five-year-olds, but he's great at analyzing games and movies and providing insightful criticism.
- Butt Monkey: Other Joe.
- Angry Joe can be this, too, when with the other TGWTG reviewers.
- The Cameo: He's the only person who can give Linkara a run for his money in terms of appearing in other people's videos.
Saiyan!Joe: His power is... over 9000!!!
Vegeta: (offscreen) That's my schtick, you inferior assclown!
- Cannot Tell Fiction from Reality: Joe plays so much Skyrim, he thinks he's a knight, and attacks Corporate Commander... with a broom and a helmet made of foil.
- Captain Ersatz: As yet another obvious (but welcomed) Shout-Out to G.I. Joe, Corporate Commander is basically Cobra Commander if he was a Corrupt Corporate Executive.
- The "new" series has The Overlord (essentially Doctor Claw with a teddy bear instead of the Mad Cat) as Corporate Commander's superior.
- Caption Humor: Sometimes employed on the right-side caption.
- The caption guy is his own character who likes to make stabs at Joe whenever he can.
- Casanova Wannabe: In one of the 1-year anniversary crossover videos, he goes around delivering horrendous pick-up lines to all the women on the site.
- Catch Phrase:
- "You done fucked it up!" — Whenever he reviews a bad game that he'd been looking forward to.
- Caustic Critic: Despite the name, he's usually pretty nice. Nowhere did this become more apparent than when he teamed up with Spoony at E3 2010, where the two practically became a Good Cop/Bad Cop comedy duo. When Joe does lose his temper, it's usually over something most people would be frustrated about, and he manages to get control of himself quite quickly. He even always takes the time to point out things he likes in games he doesn't like, and makes the reviews funny whether or not he makes fun of the game.
- Chewing the Scenery: '''UNLIMITED POWAAAAAH!!!'''
- Joe LOVES to go over the top, but the best is his Demon Joe persona, which is put through a voice filter to make it extra demonic.
- Christmas Episode: The "completely unplanned, impromptu Angry Joe Christmas review special" for 2013.
Joe: Hey, kids! Are any of you getting iPads for Christmas?
Joe: Well, if you do, don't buy Star Trek: Trexels, because it'll RUIN YOUR FUCKING CHRISTMAS!!
(kids gasping in shock)
- Cluster F-Bomb: Weaponized as the cuss cannon.
- Cold Open: Often gives his opinion of the game in a succinct, often silly, manner. Other times they just have something funny to say about the game.
- The more Joe loved the game that he reviews, the more intricate and complex his cold open will be. On the opposite end of the scale, if he hated the game he will merely stand in front of his green screen and yell "You done fucked it up!"
- Comical Overreacting: Part of him being angry.
- Cosplay: Joe sure likes to dress up whenever a game might call for it (even as a geisha...).
- *Cough* Snark *Cough*: He sneaks one for Destiny when he thinks on what games he will include in Top 10 Most Disappointing Games of 2014.
- Dashing Hispanic: In his review for Assassins Creed III, he plays Ezio Auditore (an Italian) as a Dashing Hispanic.
- Death Seeker: While playing Shadows of Mordor, he was defeated by Olgoth the Humiliator so many times he demanded Olgoth kill him.
- Digital Piracy Is Evil: Or rather the heavy handed enforcement of persecuting free use is evil. Joe had been targeted for using copyright material in a review, leading to many of his videos being taken down.
- Distracted by the Sexy: His initial reaction to Bayonetta, getting himself some "Private Time" near the end.
- When Lisa Foiles complains about the Iron Man 2 video game, and gradually loses clothing as she gets angrier, Joe forgets that he was supposed to be reviewing the game becomes fixated on Lisa, even remarking "I think I'm in love!"
- The Ditz/Malaproper: While he's not excessively dim, Joe's limited vernacular is treated as a running joke by his peers on the Channel Awesome podcast.
Joe: I'm going home! Oh, I am home... Well, I'm gonna play my (board) game!
Computer: By yourself, Joe? LOL!
- Drugs Are Bad: And so is chewing Cat Butt Gum. "It will take over your life!"
- Evil Counterpart/Demonic Possession: Darkspawn Joe
- Evil Is Hammy: Darkspawn Joe hams it up even more than Angry Joe does.
- Evil Laugh: He has one after he ropes Jo into joining him in suffering through his review of the Thor video game.
- Fan Disservice: Joe's large male friend Jacob wears a Wonder Woman costume in his first injustice vlog.
- He appeared earlier in the LollipopChainsaw review, dressed as a cheerleader.
- Joe uses the player summon system in Dragon's Dogma to call upon his friend Jacob... who appears in his living room naked, being pulled straight out of his shower. Brain Bleach ensues.
- His review for Alien: Isolation has the camera slowly panning up a pair of hairy legsnote before Angry Joe interrupts the pan with "NO!"
- Flipping the Bird: Gives one to the camera during his Nintendo rant.
- Follow the Leader: His style obviously shows some inspiration from The Angry Video Game Nerd. This was parodied in the first That Guy with the Glasses anniversary crossover in which Joe gushes about meeting his chief inspiration and idol...only for it to turn out to be Benzaie's sidekick Beary.
- Ironically, you rarely see Angry Joe actually being angry. Even when he did, it's not nearly as angry as AVGN; a more appropriate nickname for him might be "Crazy Joe," because most often he's grinning like a maniac. Sometimes even when he is showing displeasure.
- The Angry Army has been accused of being a ripoff of PewDiePie's "Bro Army", despite the concept being Older Than They Think.
- Food as Bribe: He tricks Other Joe into playing the Thor movie game by luring him with the promise of pizza.
- Foreshadowing: You can usually tell how he's going to rate a game in the first 20 seconds of his review. Though, the fun is in him entertaining you while he educates the viewer about the game.
- Four Point Scale: Averted, and he's basically stated in this video that it's a Pet Peeve Trope of his. Instead he uses just about every number on his 1-10 scale and always qualifies it. 5 is flat average, 3 (like Risen) has nice points but is not worth recommending and so on.
- And while 7 would be a weak score on that scale, Joe considered that the best score he could give Dance Central, even though he thought the game was still awesome, and named it one of his top games of the year.
- Although, 7 would still be considered good, as he said Two Worlds II was a 'great' game, yet gave it a 7. The Gunstringer got a 7, yet he said it was a must buy for Kinect owners. 7 would be considered highly above average.
- Similarly, he gave Asura's Wrath as 6 out 10, but gave it his Badass Seal of Approval because he was in sheer awe of the game the whole time playing.
- Freudian Slip: While playing the infamous Rainbow Road in Mario Kart 8, he screams out "Fuck you Rainbow Dash!"
- Get A Hold Of Yourself Man: His subtitle monitor asks this in the Green Lantern: Rise of the Manhunters review.
- Gilligan Cut: After vowing to take down Chick-Fil-A unless they start opening on Sundays, he's shown on Monday enjoying one of their chicken sandwiches instead.
- Go Mad from the Revelation: The Ride to Hell review starts with Joe rocking back and forth in his chair, sobbing helplessly. Other Joe tries to snap him out of it, and then sees the cause - Joe's computer, open to Steam, with Ride to Hell open in the library.
Other Joe: Twenty-one hours?!? Oh my God, what the hell are you thinking? Are you stupid?!?
- Greek Chorus: The background screen in Joe's new base of operations on his show. Sometimes it seems to have a personality, such as in the review of Risen, where it wakes him up after sleeping standing up.
- Head Desk: He does this in his Rambo: The Video Game review, after the game crashes during its insanely hard final level for the second time.
- Hellbent For Leather
- Heroic BSOD:
- Inflicted on Joe by Sonic Free Riders.
- And even more so in his review of Mindjack, Stephen Hawking style.
- Defied in his Ride To Hell Retribution review where he battles Demon Joe in the centre of the mind but he's definitely exhausted afterwards.
- Played for laughs in his Rambo: The Video Game review, where Joe Rambo undergoes this after the bad guys torture him by making him play the game. The game itself comes close to inflicting one on the real Joe (especially when it crashes for the second time in the final level), but its hilarious ineptitude prevents him from completely losing it.
- Hilariously Abusive Childhood: During the Nostalgia Critic's review of Man of Steel, it's shown Joe went through this involving lobster costumes and nipple tasers
- Homage Shot: To the printer smashing sequence in Office Space during his Fable III video.
- Hong Kong Dub: Parodied in his Fruit Ninja Kinect review.
- Hot-Blooded: Joe's blood is on fire. Fortunately, he's not totally kneejerk and will usually justify his reactions to things. Sometimes, his passionate style backfires on him (see Creator Backlash or Internet Backdraft) but he hits more often than he misses. Even if you disagree with his opinions, odds are good that you'll still be entertained by his reviews.
- Hostile Show Takeover: For the 2011 April Fool's video, Corporate Commander briefly commandeers the Resistance Base and attempts to provide a "professional, coolheaded counterbalance" to Joe. To say he fails is an understatement.
- Internet Backdraft: Parodied In-Universe about the reaction to DMC Devil May Cry. Joe started playing it, and it turned into a video of "Bewitched" by Blood On The Dance Floor.
Joe: No, no! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? YOU BASTARDS! YOU KILLED IT! YOU KILLED IT!
- It's Short, so It Sucks : A common complaint.
- Jump Cut: Done so often it's practically a Signature Style.
- Keet: The real life Joe has a hell of a lot of energy.
- Killer Rabbit: While Angry Joe & Boogie play Far Cry 4, one soldier ends up being killed by a honey badger.
- Lampshaded Double Entendre: Parodied in the Resident Evil: Afterlife.
- Large Ham: Particularly bombastic; makes some of the others look like Deadpan Snarkers in comparison.
- Particularly in his Dragon Age: Origins review, where he hams up both Abomination Joe and Warden Joe - especially after Warden Joe slays the Abomination.
- Hell, he could give BRIAN BLESSED a run for his money. This is barely hyperbole: just look at the opening to his UFO: Extraterrestrials review where he gives a slow-mo Big "NO!" followed by a stentorian "I WILL AVENGE YOU ALLLLLLLLLL!"
- Laughably Evil: Corporate Commander is actually quite amusing whenever he shows up.
- La Résistance: The Angry Joe Army.
- Licking the Blade: Parodied by licking melon juice.
- Limited Wardrobe: His characters tend to wear just one outfit. Joe himself almost always wears the same black Superboy t-shirt, with exceptions for certain reviews.
- Madness Mantra: Part of his Rambo: The Video Game review featured him playing the game and being subjected to soldiers yelling "Come on, comrades! He's a man, not a god!" over and over until he just started chanting it on his own.
- Meganekko: In his 'Harry Potter'' reviews.
- Mickey Mousing: He engages in it (complete with sparkles later on) in his video announcing that Maker Studios (the network behind Polaris, and therefore his employer) were bought by Disney.
- Movie Superheroes Wear Black: He points out this at the end of his G.I. Joe review, while he's playing with his action figures.
- My Eyes Are Up Here: Perhaps the only known example where this is done by a noncorporeal entity. During the Azura's Wrath review, the background shows one of the sauna girls on the right side with her face covered by the screen-in-screen display, where the text comment reads "Ehem. I'm up here."
- My God, What Have I Done?: Says this at the end of his movie review of The Last Airbender, realizing that by repeatedly saying just how bad this movie is, people are going to want to see it just to see how bad it really is. He repeatedly tells them to seriously not waste their money, but knows people are going to go see it anyway.
- Ms. Fanservice: Lisa Foiles of All That as the Bridge Bunny of the New Angry Joe Show.
- Never Trust a Trailer: He frequently points out discrepancies between pre-released materials and the movie/game he's reviewing.
- Nice Guy: Underneath the bluster, he's a very sweet guy.
- No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: Joe delivers one on Corporate Commander for a solid 15 seconds upon the announcement of Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3.
- Non Sequitur: Bizarro Joe gives one to Judge Joe in the cold open for the Dredd movie review.
Bizarro Joe: Uh, I...I like turtles.
I knew you'd say that. (beat)
Actually...I actually didn't know you would say that. Interesting. (charges his Lawgiver pistol)
Bizarro Joe: Wait, Judge...NOOOOO!!! (Judge Joe proceeds to shoot him dead in slow motion)
Judge Joe: Court's adjourned, creep!
- Nonindicative Name: He really isn't that angry at all, and has actually said that he hates giving negative reviews. If anything he's Vitriolically Enthusiastic Joe.
- Nothing Is the Same Anymore: Quoted verbatim in his Sonic Free Riders review.
- Once an Episode: "I'll see you guys on the next Angry Joe Show!"
- One Steve Limit: Averted: One of his real-life friends is also named Joe. Other Joe helps out with LPs and is a background character in some video reviews.
- Our Presidents Are Different: According to The Nostalgia Critic's It's a Wonderful Plot Christmas Special, had the Nostalgia Critic never existed, Angry Joe would've become a power president of the USA, who has people publicly executed and blows up Canada. And the people love him for it. (Although the public execution was for Tom Green and that Canada was, according to him, an evil empire in this alternate reality. Possibly ruled by Sea Horses.)
- Overly Long Gag: During his Dragon Ball Z: Kinect review's intro, he spends a considerable amount of time charging up his battle aura while screaming at the top of his lungs... Which is extremely appropriate and in-line with the (in)famous pacing and edition style used in the animated series. note
- Praising Shows You Don't Watch: A variation. In his review of The Last Airbender, he said he hadn't watched Avatar: The Last Airbender, but insisted it couldn't be as bad as the movie, considering the fanbase and adoration for it.
"There is no way the cartoon is this bad! There is no way a series this popular can be like this!"
- Precision F-Strike: "Fuck 3-D!"
- Previously On: How his Green Lantern review starts, reminding us how much he was NOT looking forward to it.
- Real Men Wear Pink: Real men profess their love of dancing games and cross-dress as a geisha or a little girl when the video demands (excuses) it! And don a pink tutu and boa (plus a military helmet) for an interpretive dance about Battlefield 3!
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Delivered a long and blistering one to his fans who viciously attacked Anita Sarkeesian in his "Top 10 Gaming Controversies of 2013" video.
- Retool: The show retooled itself sometime after Kickassia, and is easily the best produced show on Channel Awesome, as far as visuals and backdrops go.
- Ridiculously Average Guy: How Joe feels about Desmond Miles from Assassin's Creed.
Desmond Joe: Hi, my name is Desmond Miles. I have a fanny pack.
- He even has Ezio assassinate Desmond.
- The Rival: Corporate Commander.
- Running Gag: FOUR HOURS!
- Sarcastic Clapping: In his review of the video games for Deathly Hallows Parts 1 and 2:
Joe: [The dev team] probably actually listened to the feedback that they got from the angry mothers and grandmothers who bought their kids this crap. Well...(claps three times slowly)...good for you. That's what you're supposed to do.
- Screams Like a Little Girl: When Joe gets carjacked in his GrandTheftAutoV review.
- Both Joe and Other Joe spend their Let's Play for Playable Teaser in a constantly freaked-out state with frequent shrieks.
- Skyward Scream: During his Chick-Fil-A video when he realizes they're closed on Sundays.
- Self-Deprecation: During his review of Homefront, while Joe complains about the obnoxious loudmouthed Texan with the oversize belt-buckle who "loses his shit".
oh wait, that is kinda' what we do.
- During his Alien Isolation review, there's a short of him working with a malfunctioning Working Joe, and after almost getting strangled by it, says this:
Joe: I hate working with Joe's.
- Serious Business: "Sonic Free Riders has ruined my life. That's it. This is the worst game I have ever played! Nothing in my life is the same anymore! Music doesn't sound the same. Food, food doesn't taste like anything anymore!"
- Shoo Out the Clowns: During his "Top Ten Gaming Controversies of 2013," Joe stops his funny jabs and rants on the perpetrators behind the controversies to a give a serious 10+ minute long "The Reason You Suck" Speech to those (especially his fanbase in particular) who harassed Anita Sarkeesian, criticizing them for sending rape and death threats to her for her opinions. Joe said he didn't agree with her opinions, but that didn't mean she deserved threats at all. He goes right back to his joking attitude right after, causing quite a bit of Mood Whiplash.
- Shown Their Work: Joe does plenty of background research for his reviews, especially for games that are part of an existing franchise. For instance, being able to provide examples of The Darkness' Super Weight despite being an obscure IP, and researching Ace Combat enough to warn fans that Assault Horizon was not a 'true' installment of the main series, despite earlier admitting he hadn't actually played any of the previous games before his review.
- Shout-Out: Angry Joe makes several "Bat Credit Card" jokes in his first injustice vlog, just like The Nostalgia Critic.
- Signing Off Catch Phrase: "I'll see you guys on the next Angry Joe Show."
- Silent Snarker: The Monitor. It tend to snark at or make fun of either Joe and his over-the-top, enthusiastic behaviour behind his back or at the bad game he's reviewing.
- Sincerity Mode: His review on why the Mass Effect 3 endings suck has him review it in a quiet and understated manner.
- So Bad, It's Good: Joe and his brothers' opinion of the Man vs. Wild game - a frustrating waste of time as a game, but hilarious when exploring how bugged and broken it is.
- So Bad Its Horrible: Joe reviews many bad games, but this trope is his view on Sonic Free Riders, Mindjack, and Ride To Hell Retribution.
- Sound Effect Bleep: Sometimes when Joe swears, it's bleeped out, and sometimes, it's not, seemingly at random. There's no real reason for this other than Joe being silly. Often the bleeps aren't synchronised with the words they're meant to be bleeping, for the same reason. He claims he does this just to see if anyone points it out. That's it.
- Space Station: The Resistance Base.
- The Stinger: Directing people to his website, for those who watch his videos elsewhere.
- Stunned Silence:
- His review of Starcraft II begins with him staring blankly into the camera for about a minute, swaying slightly before falling over. Yes, he likes the game.
- Conversely, his review of Aliens: Colonial Marines begins with him walking in front of the Green Screen dressed like a Colonial Marine. He stands there staring dourly into the camera for a while before saying, "... you fucked it up!"
- Stylistic Suck: Parodied in the review for Kane and Lynch: Dog Days. Corporate Commander tells his employees to just take the first game and add tons of terrible YouTube video filter effects to screw it up and add Shaky Cam until nothing is visible. "Yes! More! Excellent!"
- Played straight in the Aliens: Colonial Marines video, where Marine!Joe is fighting Xenomorphs who are quite obviously little action figures, and you can even see the hands manipulating them.
- Suckiness Is Painful: Sonic Free Riders is the absolute worst game that Joe has ever had the displeasure of paying for and playing. His absolute first 1/10 review. The game's Suckiness Is Painful index is so bad that Joe says he's going to sue Sega for Assault in the First Degree after revealing that the Kinect motion controls, combined with the overly loud soundtrack and horrible course designs filled with sudden 90 turns, WILL actually hurt you. It's so horrible that Joe returns it to Game Stop claiming that the game is broken. He gets a full refund and gets the Kinect Sports game that he made the mistake of passing up in the first place.
"Assault in the First Degree: To knowingly inflict bodily harm"
- The second game he's given a 1/10 to, Mindjack, was so bad it left him a Stephen-Hawking-like shell unable to speak or move without mechanical assistance; it probably would have been a lot less offensive if the game hadn't had such a cool initial concept married to such a broken execution. Its one good point? Monkeys.
- Ride To Hell Retribution not only left him catatonic, it sent him to hell to deal with Demon-Joe to do the review (Demon-Joe worked on the game, apparently...). However, the game ended up not breaking Joe as Demon-Joe hoped, but driving his rage-levels to new heights. He then woke up for the final blows to "perform the exorcism."
- Star Trek: Trexels is the fourth game to receive a 1/10 due to its massive overuse off paywalls and microtransactions.
- Joe even punches his iPad when the game unfairly robs him of the only dilithium crystal that can be earned through a minigame rather than an in-game purchase.
- Suspiciously Similar Song: Invoked, the new show's intro is the G.I. Joe opening theme (with repurposed lyrics).
- Take That: In his review of Divinity: Dragon Commander he takes the fact that the player can potentially legalize gay marriage and provide equal rights to women as a chance to do this to anti-feminists and homophobes. When displaying the conversations from the opposition that result in allowing gay marriage, he juxtaposes their arguments with a particularly infamous video of a woman speaking out against gay marriage and sodomy with incredibly baseless arguments.
- They Just Didn't Care: Corporate Commander's Raison D'etre.
"Don't need it!"
- This is also a major Pet Peeve Trope for Joe, whether it's an original game, or especially a licensed game.
- Top Ten List
- Trademark Favorite Food: Chik-Fil-A products.
- Twinkle Smile: When he thinks he's a knight.
- Unstoppable Rage: Even worse when he becomes a Red Lantern
- Up to Eleven: Joe's Top 42 Reasons Why Fable Sucks video, where he says a Top 10 list was just not enough to cover all the really bad points of the game and kept going.
- Verbal Tic: Likes to pronounce "especially" as "ex-specially". He even made fun of it himself at some points.
- Sometimes over-emphasizes H-es, though, might be from his accent.
- Pronounces "cancellation" as "cancellization".
- Video Review Show
- Why Don't You Marry It?: Jokes that with so many Elder Scrolls games starting you out as a prisoner, they must have a fetish for it.
- With Lyrics: In his Worst Games of 2012, he reacts to a dinosaur-like monster in Resident Evil 6 by playing the "Holy Shit, It's A Dinosaur" meme that uses the Jurassic Park ending theme.
- Worst Whatever Ever: He seems to say this far more often than he logically should.